Sunday, February 20, 2011

Oh, my silly son ...

Bruise has been in rare form.

He's in this stage where his favorite silly phrase is "Kwunchy-kwunchy" (Crunchy-crunchy).

And, in Sacrament meeting, he told me "Aye-aye, Captain Crunch!"
(Yes, totally scammed that one from The Pirate Who Don't Do Anything.)



BUT, oh, the clincher ...

Okay, YOU know that I'm not normal/mentally well.
When I clean out my kids' ears or under their fingernails, I'll joke with them, "Oh, look at all that! Are you gonna eat that?"
And they'll be all, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

SO, I cleaned out all the nasty dirt from under Bruise's fingernails. Then I scraped out some wax from his ears (the boy needs a bath. And a haircut. And his nails were ATROCIOUS).

Me: *whispers* Ew. Look at all that! That was in your EARS. Are you going to eat it? Were you saving it for a snack??
Bruise: *whispers back* No. LUNCH.
Me: *whispered* ... WHAT??
Bruise: *whispers* I was saving it fo' WUNCH. ... Are YOU gonna eat it??
Me: *desperately trying to stifle my snickering. We're at CHURCH! ... whispers* NO! ... Where did you learn to be so funny???
Bruise: *whispers* I. DON'T. KNOW! *whispers in a high pitched voice* I DO NOT KNOW!!

Oh me, oh my. What am I to DO with this crazy kid??


Bucket is just as silly, really.
I caught her making faces at her reflection in the key fob that came with my new purse (Thanks, Mom!)
Not my hand. And I am jealous of the cute manicure. But the key fob is the same.
And she confessed immediately that she was doing it to make me laugh.

While I was doing her hair this morning for church, she asked what she could do to make me laugh.
I taught her the glory of elephant jokes.
(For some reason, I know a slew of elephant jokes. Half of which my cousin and I made up when we were little. Just variations on one elephant joke. ... I also know a lot of blonde jokes. CLEAN ONES. But that's because I was sick of people telling them to ME, so I loaded my arsenal. Mwhahahaha.)

But, yes, I told her elephant jokes (NOT THE SAFEWAY ONE) while I curled her hair. It was fun.

Oh ... and as a bonus ... here's what Bruise told us last night as we put him to bed. (After he had a piece of pizza for dinner. And refused a second one.)
"Mom? Mom? My stomach is growling. That means that I'm hungry."
"Well, we fed you dinner. We'll feed you again in the morning."
And he BURSTS INTO TEARS.
"But, but, but ... if I don't eat, I will STARVE AND DIE!!!!!!" he blubbered.

Michael and I were fighting off giggles. We assured him that he wouldn't starve to death. At least, not overnight. *sigh* Oh, that boy.

As you can tell, he's still alive. And healthy.

These children of mine. Oh my.

2 comments:

Hilary said...

Gasp! You called him by his real name in this post! :-P

Allanna said...

*GASP!* Thanks for catching that!

This is why I NEED my friends.
To protect the innocent. ^_^

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