Sunday, February 20, 2011

Oh, my silly son ...

Bruise has been in rare form.

He's in this stage where his favorite silly phrase is "Kwunchy-kwunchy" (Crunchy-crunchy).

And, in Sacrament meeting, he told me "Aye-aye, Captain Crunch!"
(Yes, totally scammed that one from The Pirate Who Don't Do Anything.)

BUT, oh, the clincher ...

Okay, YOU know that I'm not normal/mentally well.
When I clean out my kids' ears or under their fingernails, I'll joke with them, "Oh, look at all that! Are you gonna eat that?"
And they'll be all, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

SO, I cleaned out all the nasty dirt from under Bruise's fingernails. Then I scraped out some wax from his ears (the boy needs a bath. And a haircut. And his nails were ATROCIOUS).

Me: *whispers* Ew. Look at all that! That was in your EARS. Are you going to eat it? Were you saving it for a snack??
Bruise: *whispers back* No. LUNCH.
Me: *whispered* ... WHAT??
Bruise: *whispers* I was saving it fo' WUNCH. ... Are YOU gonna eat it??
Me: *desperately trying to stifle my snickering. We're at CHURCH! ... whispers* NO! ... Where did you learn to be so funny???
Bruise: *whispers* I. DON'T. KNOW! *whispers in a high pitched voice* I DO NOT KNOW!!

Oh me, oh my. What am I to DO with this crazy kid??

Bucket is just as silly, really.
I caught her making faces at her reflection in the key fob that came with my new purse (Thanks, Mom!)
Not my hand. And I am jealous of the cute manicure. But the key fob is the same.
And she confessed immediately that she was doing it to make me laugh.

While I was doing her hair this morning for church, she asked what she could do to make me laugh.
I taught her the glory of elephant jokes.
(For some reason, I know a slew of elephant jokes. Half of which my cousin and I made up when we were little. Just variations on one elephant joke. ... I also know a lot of blonde jokes. CLEAN ONES. But that's because I was sick of people telling them to ME, so I loaded my arsenal. Mwhahahaha.)

But, yes, I told her elephant jokes (NOT THE SAFEWAY ONE) while I curled her hair. It was fun.

Oh ... and as a bonus ... here's what Bruise told us last night as we put him to bed. (After he had a piece of pizza for dinner. And refused a second one.)
"Mom? Mom? My stomach is growling. That means that I'm hungry."
"Well, we fed you dinner. We'll feed you again in the morning."
"But, but, but ... if I don't eat, I will STARVE AND DIE!!!!!!" he blubbered.

Michael and I were fighting off giggles. We assured him that he wouldn't starve to death. At least, not overnight. *sigh* Oh, that boy.

As you can tell, he's still alive. And healthy.

These children of mine. Oh my.


Hilary said...

Gasp! You called him by his real name in this post! :-P

Allanna said...

*GASP!* Thanks for catching that!

This is why I NEED my friends.
To protect the innocent. ^_^

Counting ...

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