Tuesday, October 27, 2015

MOAR crazy Dream Chronicles! Lucky you!

Yeah, I'm only remembering bits and pieces of my dreams ... but they're sure ... special.

The other night, in my dream, I started out with Bubbles and I driving around a college campus (could have been my alma mater, but it was MUCH larger). And they'd moved the mailboxes OUTSIDE the building. And I had a key that fit ... so I was all, "Hey, I could always have stuff shipped here and pick it up for free!" (Must have been a holdover from reading Ready Player One with Michael.)

THEN, the other part of my dream had me as, like, idk, an adjunct professor ... but I had finished up my term, so I was going to be leaving.
And the building we were in was haunted. By this TALL, strapping, red-headed Viking of a ghost. And he got one of the other professors to jump off the building (her red tartan-print dressed, broken body was still on the pavement below). And I was leaving the building and he took this goodbye-present handleless mug of mine and BROKE it. (Not that it was a huge deal. Since we have a BAZILLION mugs [who doesn't?] AND it wasn't my style anyways.) But I was irked by the PRINCIPLE of the thing. Ill-mannered, murdering ghost.

LAST night's dream was ... odd ... because, OF COURSE it was.

So, here's the deal. IRL, I have written a skit for my son's Cub Scout group. And, since last meeting was passing out flyers for a food drive (they ended up collecting over 100lbs of food!), there was NOT time to even have the boys read the script.

SO, TOMORROW, his den is meeting early so I can (1) pass out scripts, (2) assign roles, (3) have the boys run through it a couple times, and (4) go soak my head.
Mostly kidding on that last one. But I haven't had much practice directing things. I usually just act or sing. Or help with props/makeup/costuming (but not so much on that LAST one in THAT list).

I'm just hoping that it'll go well and that we'll HAVE five boys to play all the parts ... if not, well, It could end up being a Bruise production with starring roles from his Scout leaders, parents, and twin sister. We'll see ... But, apparently, I'm a little worried about the whole thing ...

So, in my dream, one of our past sister missionaries was throwing a huge dramatic spectacle. And, last minute, I was given a script. I didn't have my lines down at all ... and I hadn't really even had time to read over my part(s). And there was some serious swear words ... so I'm taking liberties and editing them out ... because (1) swearing is something that I've worked VERY HARD to not do nearly so much (Srsly, y'all -- my sophomore year of high school, I was SUCH a potty-mouth. Sailors and truckers would have blanched. So my use of "craps," "damns," and "hells" is a TOTAL improvement. Just so you know.) and (2) IT WAS AT CHURCH. You can't say scatalogical terms of THAT kind at church. Because that's Jesus's house.

And then, the other scene I was in, I dropped my script and LOST MY PLACE and couldn't find it ... and so I was having to make up lyrics to some rock song that I'd only caught a wee glimpse of ... so I'm writhing on the floor, turning in horizontal circles on my back, mic in hand, as I try to channel Freddie Mercury at his glammest and maybe a soupรงon of Stevie Nicks, as I'm MAKING UP LYRICS and hoping that the returned sister missionary won't be too put out that I'm ruining her script.

Okay, so I can get that maybe that rock-star element of my dream is because on Facebook folks were complimenting my Jem! costume from around six years ago. My wig and makeup were awesome, if I do say so myself ... the rest of the costume could have gone better.
If I make it again, I know a lot of things to improve.
But it's not going to be this year, since there's only a few days until Halloween. And I don't have a costume at all. *sigh* I don't even know what to attempt to dress as.

In other non-dream-related news, I've passed sixth-grade math on Khan Academy. I did a load of dishes. We had soup for dinner last night. We went to the library's Halloween shindig (and ran into Michael's cousin and his family there ^_^). And I sent a Facebook message to the (ex?) friend who had unfriended me.
I let her know that I noticed we weren't Facebook friends anymore. And that I understood that it could be a glitch (not terribly likely) or that it could have not. But that I wished the best for her, even if that meant that I wasn't friends with her anymore. And that if there had been anything that I had done or said that had hurt or offended her, that it wasn't done purposefully ... and that I was sorry if I had hurt or offended her.

As my mom said, either she'll respond to it or not. And, if she writes back, there's an answer. If she doesn't, there's another answer.

The ball is in her court. And that's ... a little ... nerve-wracking. But, well, it felt insincere to pretend that I didn't notice the change in our friendship. I get that people grow apart ... but, well, when you've been really tight friends, it seems more direct to let the other person know that you're choosing to unfriend them. It'd be kind to let them know why ... even a "we've grown apart" or something.
I've unfriended some folks on facebook ... but they were (pretty much) strangers who we had friended each other for facebook games that I wasn't playing anymore. That's a bit different, right?

I've almost got Bruise's shirt done for Halloween. It's the main part of his costume (the rest is a certain pair of jeans (I should make sure those are in the wash) and trainers). I should make a clasp for Bucket's cloak. Bubbles's costume is all storebought ... and, well, we did pick up about the perfect pair of Crocs for her to wear with it (SPARKLY TEAL, Y'ALL. TEAL. AND SPARKLES. Can you tell that I'm a little jealous?), so her's is all taken care of.

So, yeah. I should check on Bruise's shirt ... do the last bits of paint on it. Get a shower. Do more laundry. Drink a buttload of water (doing this week-long water challenge. Michael's doing it, too. We're only drinking water as our beverage this week. And we're SUPPOSED to be drinking (bodyweight/2) in ounces. ... This is the third day in ... and man I suck at drinking enough water. Sunday, got nearly 3/4 of the suggested amount. Yesterday, I didn't even get one-third. *sigh*).

And I'm working at getting through library books ... physical AND online (Overdrive is a great app. you can use it to read books [e-books or audiobooks] on your phone or tablet, borrowed through your library ... well, if your library is part of it. Or, you could do the free ones that are available to everyone and don't count against how many books you can check out. You're limited to six holds at a time ... and TWO hold came in within a day of each other. And you only get them for 14 days. *sigh* I mean, you can check them out again, if there's not a hold on them, of course .....)

But, yeah. Busy girl.
Who also needs to read her scriptures and plan her lesson (which HOPEFULLY won't be observed by the STAKE PRESIDENT next week. Don't get me wrong, I love our Stake President ... but, well, that's a little stressful to be observed. Especially when I COULD AND SHOULD have been a bit better prepared ... and, bless them, but my class was VERY excitable. So it was interesting making sure that we focused and refocused their attention on the topic of showing Christlike love to others. But I was able to tell them about how the Young Women Theme, this month's Relief Society lesson, and the overall goal of "The Power of Everyday Missionaries" all integrate that theme ... and they had some great insights. And we discussed sharing our beliefs with others and HOW to do it best and HOW to show others, through our actions and words, how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love them ... and President C did say that I did a great job, so it was a good lesson ... but a little stressful. ^_^) ... among another billion things that I should get done.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Dream Resolution (I originally wrote "Resolution Dream," but this ordering makes it sound more like Revolutionary Girl Utena. And you should always go for that. If you're me, at least.)

Last night, I dreamed again.

I was in some play/theatrical thing ... maybe something Shakespearian.

It was, apparently, some sort of presentation ...

But I was in it with another guy and girl.

I remember at one point thinking, "Oh! I should take off my [wedding] ring, since my character's not married. Whoops!"

And... something happened where EVERYONE, cast and audience, had to go out into the foyer.

I found myself standing next to, among the throng of people milling about, that friend who unfriended me on Facebook.

"Hi," I said to her.

She didn't really respond, but she did look at me.

"Hey," I said. "I don't know what I did that hurt you so much. But, whatever I did that I did that offended you and hurt you so badly, I want to apologize for it. I've never meant to hurt you. I love you and I want you to be happy. And I get that it might mean that I'm not a part of your life. But I do want to tell you that I'm sorry."

And she let me hug her. And we stood next to each other in the shoulder-to-shoulder line that was being formed.

And I feel more peaceful.
I wonder if I should send her a message ... just so that she knows that I don't really know what I've done ... but that I never have meant to cause her any pain. And, if I've done that, I never did it on purpose and I'm sorry that I took actions that ever caused her suffering.

I get that maybe she does need more time.
And that, very possibly, she'll never want to be as close as we used to be.
But I think that I'm ... okay ... again.

It never feels "good" or anything when you have someone turn from a BFF/sister-of-the-heart into someone-that-I-used-to-know. And, regardless of how another friend described the situation, I can't think of this (ex?-)friend as a frenemy ...

In other, completely unrelated news, I sewed a cloak for Bucket's Halloween costume. ALL BY MYSELF.

YES, I SHOULD have lined  it, hemmed it, whatever ... but it's made of felt and she wasn't picky.
And it's done.

Michael and I still need to finish Bruise's shirt for his costume ... that'll take some time and energy. At least we bought everything we'll need.

I'll need to make the clasp to hold Bucket's cloak closed. But, hey, at least Bubble's costume is all done. I even found a little stuffed animal for her to carry around with it, to complete her costume. Phew!

Okay, I should go take Bucket to her violin class soon.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Sittin' in mah robe, yeah ... so, so classy

What, what? I'm blogging without at least a WEEK going by between posts?!??

Craaaaazy-sauce ...

So, I blogged last on, what, Friday?

There hasn't been tons of stuff since then, really.

But I figured that I should blog.
My dreams are starting to get back to "normal" levels of weird (Thanks, Mother Nature! Glad to see you headed off again! Between the acne, insomnia, irrational emotions, and the CRAZY-BUTT dreams, I'm always glad when I return to not having a uterus that's sloughing off that layer. ... Of course, funny (TMI) thing: for a couple years, when they kids would ask what was wrong and I'd tell them that I was on my period, Bucket would crow, "You're PREGNANT?!???" "NO. NO. NOT pregnant. The opposite." And then I'd have to give them a pared-down (but still slightly-horrifying-if-you-think-about-it) version of what exactly goes on in a woman's uterus.

Yes, I've been pretty upfront with my kids about their bodies. I haven't yet gone through the DETAILS of sexytimes or anything (I refer to it, when talking to them, as "sex or sexual intimacy"). ... because, well, I'd rather that they ask me for THAT INFO when they're ready to hear it.

(Says the girl who read the encyclopedia entry about sex when she was six. "Mom, did you know the encyclopedia has bad words in it?!?? They say "penis" and "vagina!" ... Yeah, there's another reason why I use the clinical terms (mostly) when dealing with body parts. Don't get me wrong, I say butt and "frontbottom" and "dainty bits" and "boobs" and all that, too. but I make sure that my offspring are aware what things are really called.)

So, yes, my kids have heard (yes, even Bruise) the info that women have a layer of blood that lines the uterus JUST IN CASE an egg is fertilized, so it can implant and turn into a baby.

In other things I talk to my kids about -- we've talked about pornography (and avoiding it. Or what to do when they DO come across it), homosexuality (and that people who are gay or lesbian are still children of God and we need to love THEM. We don't have to approve of anyone's ACTIONS, but we are all more than our actions, so just freaking love everyone, OKAY?!?? ... Seriously, I don't get how folks do anything else. Weirdos ... who obvs need more hugs.), gun safety, sexual abuse (i.e., don't let people touch you against your will. And, if they do, TELL US. Daddy and I will ENSURE that they are dealt with. In a way that we won't end up in prison. And that their doctor will need to check out their private parts, but that if it makes them really uncomfortable, speak up. And, if anyone DOES ever do something, that's on THEM. It's not the survivor's fault. Seriously. Look in the Handbook for the Church. And, no matter what, you're never so far gone that the Atonement cannot help/heal you. Use it. And we'll still love you no matter what.), and abortion (We believe that it's taking a life. But there are a few times when it could be permissible [mother's or baby's life in peril OR due to rape/incest, which would be because someone overpowered the now-mother's agency ... Don't do it as a convenience because one wants to avoid consequences for one's choice -- that also counts for the guy who impregnates a woman. If you can't handle being a dad, don't ... ahem ... go through the motions. Get it? If you're not ready to be a mom, make another choice. Go play mini-golf or something. Because there's no birth control (other than abstinence) that's 100% effective. ... But, if you find yourself pregnant, there's support and help. Things happen. And it's not like anyone can get pregnant on their own. So we should all be a little more understanding. Everyone should understand that because there ain't NO ONE on earth right now who IS perfect. ...)

Okay, SO, that's a lot more than anyone really cared to know about my mothering methods.

But, yeah, I guess I should outline my main parenting goals:
  1. Raise self-sufficient offspring:
    My kids need to know not just how to pass tests and binge-watch Netflix, but how to run a house, create and stick to a budget, cook, clean, schedule a doctor/dentist visit, and deal with the myriad emergencies that life will send them.
  2. Raise spiritually-prepared offspring:
    They will need to have their OWN testimony and to be able to feel and recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I'd prefer that they learn from the mistakes of all who've gone before them so that they don't have to learn all the hard life's lessons on their own.
  3. Raise offspring who know where to go for answers:
    Let's face it, I know that I'm not always going to be around. And, heck, I don't know even HALF of the answers. (Heck, I hardly even know the QUESTIONS in the first place.)
    I want Bruise, Bucket, Bubbles (and and others who may ever come along, if there ARE any) to know HOW to research and find information. And, for what they can't find on The Google, I want them to know how to research in BOOKS and through PRAYER and by asking OTHER PEOPLE for advice ... and to be able to compile it all to find the best answer for them.
  4. Raise well-adjusted offspring:
    I know, when they come from such odd folks as their dad and me, this is a challenge.
    But my goal is that they can be COMPASSIONATE and caring and kind; that they can handle when life isn't always fun or easy.
  5. Raise good citizens:
    If there's a bad law, I want them to go about peacefully and lawfully to make the changes that need to happen. I want them to be involved and to know what's going on -- so they CAN help be a force for good. I want them to have a desire to (and the motivation to carry it out) help others. 
  6. Raise joyful offspring:
    I want them to be able to appreciate the good things, to have that attitude of gratitude. I want them to be able to find joy and peace in everyday things, to find CONTENTMENT. I want them to be able to see the beauty in a sunset, the waves of the ocean, a baby's laugh ... and to be able to share that happiness with all whom they come in contact with.
  7. And I want them to use good grammar, too. And have marketable skills. And to only have the barest amount of sorrow that will allow them to recognize joy, the merest modicum of stress, fear, and anger so they can KNOW when they have peace ...
  8. I want them to have cars that never break down, a bank account that covers all their needs without any overdrafts or debt, bodies that always work as desired and fit into whatever fashions they like best COMFORTABLY, a house where others are glad to gather, friends who are always loyal and honest, AND A PONY (or whatever else they want).
Yeah, I don't care if they're doctors or Nobel Prize winners ... but I want them to be happy, healthy, kind, intelligent, content, wise ... If they all want to be circus performers, that's fine, as long as they can all make enough to support themselves and their families (and maybe their parents ... in the lifestyle in which we'd like to become accustomed, ha ha ha).

Okay, I've blathered on about mostly nothing for long enough.
I should go get more laundry done, clean the hall bathroom and the kitchen (don't worry, I'll wash my hands between those two!), get a shower, read a book, and a million other things that all should BE done. Good times, right?

Friday, October 16, 2015

Some better excuses (for lack of posts) ...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's been DAYS (over a week!) since I last posted.

And here will be my litany of (semi-rubbish) reasons ... or, in other words, my regular kind of post.

So, since I last posted ...

  • I've been keeping up with Duolingo, Khan Academy, Typing.com, and a bit of Rosetta Stone.
  • I've NOT been keeping up with a habit of reading scriptures ON PURPOSE, definite sincere prayers, writing in my prayer journal, or much of anything spiritual. I mean, I'm TRYING ... but when I fall off the wagon, it takes me a little to get caught back up. #SucksToBeMe
    But I'm going to get back on board.
  • I got caught up with the dishes. For, like, a day.
  • I started doing laundry again. Just in time, since guess who ran out of underthings?
    ... Well, it WOULD have been me, but thank goodness I did laundry!
  • I got to go up and hang with my Sis, Roxy (We call each other "sis," not because we're biologically or legally related, but because we KNOW that, deep down, we HAVE to be family. I mean, really, there's no other explanation for how weird we both are. Which is only compounded when he hang together -- even just chatting on Facebook. It's special. So very, very special.). We went to Powell's and bought books. Then we went to her favorite comic book store and I found the Jem and the Holograms Outrageous Annual. Then we went to eat Thai food. Bubbles was pretty well-behaved. There was one little breakdown when I didn't buy her LEGO or DUPLO, but it wasn't a full-blown tantrum. And she was VERY collected when, as we were driving (slowly), her door slid open. Yup, good times.
    It'd been a while since Roxy and I had been able to hang out. And it's always wonderful to spend time with her.
    On the way home, though, Bubbles had me sing "Tomorrow" (from Annie) about a million times ... and, eventually, she fell asleep for her much-needed (but rather short) nap. It was a good day.
  • I got to take Bubbles to a birthday party for one of her friends from church. It was very fun.
    Bubbles is eager to go back for a playdate soon.
  • PTC (Parent-Teacher Club) was moved up a day (Unfortunately, not all the parents got the message. Whoops!) and I took notes there.
  • Bubbles and I made it to storytime at the library TWICE this week.
  • My Visiting Teaching companion and I visited two sisters yesterday. It's always great to get to talk to them. (Yes, Bubbles was good for them. It helps when she plays on my phone. Ha ha.)
  • My Mom came up to visit yesterday. And that was good. I taught her some basics in editing a PDF file.
  • Bruise decided to switch from the cello to the violin. He actually practiced yesterday! and it'll be easier for him to transport on the bus (Let's face it, the 1/2-size cello is still nearly as tall as he is.)
  • Bucket got a comb stuck in her hair last night. (LESSON: Don't comb your hair in bed in the dark. Please?) We got it out without her losing much hair.
  • I finished some books. (And I started to take advantage of the fact that my Goodreads app on my phone lets you find (most) books by scanning their barcode.)
This morning, I called the school to let them know that Michael and I will pick up the kids after school (we're going to the pumpkin patch) ... and I got an answer that I'd emailed about yesterday
(long story short: I'd like to volunteer to help out with an upcoming fundraiser during school hours. I had to go to three people to find out if it'd be cool if Bubbles tagged along. Yes. THEN I needed to know what time Bruise and Bucket would be participating, since I'd PREFER to be there at that time. SO, I emailed and asked when [different animal groups, since that's how we keep track of the bilingual groups, since they have TWO teachers, from DIFFERENT continent ... which would be the grade that Bruise and Bucket were in LAST year] had specials (Music/P.E./Technology) ... It wasn't until about five hours later, I was standing in the middle of Fred Meyer and it hit me ... I HAD ASKED ABOUT A DIFFERENT GRADE'S SPECIALS. Whoops. ... So I had to send ANOTHER EMAIL to the gal, apologizing that I'm a complete dork and that I really DO know what grade my kids are in ... and she laughed and gave me the RIGHT time for MY kids' groups. *headdesk*)

And, with that in mind, it was great when the School-Family Liaison (who's a wonderful lady and the other gal's mom, by-the-by) asked me, "So, I'll be seeing you here at school today, then?"

 "Um, I wasn't planning on being there ... why?"

"It's the Jog-a-thon."

"I thought that was on the 30th. Isn't it?"

Then we both had a tense second where we glanced at our calendars and wondered, "What day is it? WHAT WEEK IS IT?!??" And we both started laughing.
Yeah, it's been a bit of a crazy month, so, yeah.

And I'm glad that I'm not expected at school today, since I'm still not showered or dressed.

I keep having really strange dreams.

Wednesday night, I had a two-parter ... I don't recall the other part as much. Mostly a bit surreal. A friend of the family announced that she and her husband were getting a divorce. And it was shocking, since they're both much older. But she assured me that it was fine. "We haven't done much stuff together for years. ... Besides, he'll be dead soon, anyways." O.o (No, that's so not the case in real life.)
But in the MAIN part, Michael told me that he wanted a divorce. And I spent (in my dream) most of the day in a sad funk ... then I finally knelt next to him as he sat in the green chair and tried to address him very seriously, which was hard since he had multiple cotton swabs stuck in his ears and nose (he took them out in a bit, though). And he reconsidered ... because it'd be too hard to pack up all our stuff ... and told me that he'd just been under a lot of stress lately. And we were cool again.

But, in real life, he did have to put up with me asking multiple times, "We're cool, right? You don't want a divorce, right? Because you'd tell me if you were unhappy, RIGHT?!??"

"We're cool. And maybe you should avoid Chinese food before bed. That dream sounded stranger than usual."
(See? He's totes used to my wacko dreams.)

Last night, I endured some crazy dreams, too.
In one, I was a teenager-y babysitter for a lot of kids. And I woke up (in my dream) to find that one front-section of my hair was about six inches shorter than the rest ... and sticking straight out to the side. The rest of my lock was lying on the bathroom counter. (I blame Bucket's comb adventure for that.) ... But I wasn't worried when I woke up, because my hair in my dream was a different color (a medium dark brown).

The other part of my dream was that I was in a hospital/compound-type area, carrying around my (huge, even in real life) purse, and I had to decide whether I was going to desert it (and whether I could chance taking my little, injured (maybe comatose) sister with me when I did ... or would I get caught). And there were people turning into zombies or something. And a lot had their hands cut off, but not the blades on them ... (which dream element is from a factoid that I read from a friend's feed on facebook about this Native American who, in the 1500s, had his hands cut off by the Spaniards ... so, when they came back, he led an army against them, with blades tied to his arms. Hard core, right? ... his name's Galvarino (lots of language in the write-up, be warned), by the by).

But, yeah, it wasn't the most relaxing of dreams.

I'm still trying to deal with the fact that I was unfriended by such a close friend ... but, well, obviously, I was more invested ... and I cognitively know that it's more of a reflection on her than of me. But, drat it if I don't miss her.
And I don't want to block her on Facebook, but it's ... really sad when I see that she's commenting a LOT more lately on posts of mutual friends.

But, yeah. If that's the worst thing that's gone on, I'm sure that I'll get over it. Eventually.

Oh! In happy-making, when I was at Powell's, not only did I find books to buy (like that was a worry. No, it wasn't), but I also found the violet-flavored mints and gum that I'd been really wanting to try ... AND they had some more of the LEGO Movie character keychains ... so I picked up UniKitty in her spacesuit (I already have angy UniKitty and BiznisKitty ... I did ALMOST pick up the seasick UniKitty one, but ... SPACESHIP!!!).
And, when you touch UniKitty's face, her horn will light up. So, when I went to make sure that Space UniKitty's horn works, I was a little shocked (in a good way) that HER HORN LIGHTS UP BLUE!!!

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

But, yeah, that's most of what's all gone on lately.

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

The Talk ... well, not THAT one, really ... that's an ongoing process.

Yesterday, after sending the kids to bed, Bucket came out and asked if we could talk.

"Sure, sweetie."

"In your room."

"Okay. Sure."

(I do love my children more than catching up on the last season of The Walking Dead.)

So, we sat on my bed and she started crying.

It turns out that, for a few months, she'd been keeping something to herself.

A few days ago, we'd watched this video together

And, I've talked with them about seeing things that make them feel uncomfortable.
(We do have a copy of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson, which is a helpful resource, too).

Bucket told me that one of her friends, when they play barbies, has the dolls simulate intercourse.
And it made her uncomfortable. And she hadn't wanted to say anything.
I was a little surprised by which friend she named.

First, I thanked Bucket for coming and talking to me.
She confided that she had said a prayer to help her have the courage to talk about her discomfort, and I commended her for choosing to turn to Heavenly Father about it.

I did tell her that it's a rather normal thing that will happen when playing barbies (Hey, my plots with my dolls had a few soap-operatic encounters ... but I was happier playing with a more fairy-tale-esque theme as the main plot. I had a barbie that was the REAL PRINCESS and her beau [Mr. Heart, actually, since he was handsomer] could SEE that, regardless of her shoddy dress, she was worthwhile and precious ... as opposed to the Mean-Girl, GORGEOUS barbie in her FABULOUS gown, who sported an awful snobby attitude ... but the kind barbie was good with all the children and animals and other people ... and, being a prince, he looked through the fancy facade and saw who really deserved his heart ... YES, I KNOW. But it was a FUN plot to play with, okay? Don't even ask about the storylines for my My Little Ponies. ... And my Precious Places figurines would play along to the highlights of  Les Miserables ... Yeah, I was a weird kid.)

And I did tell her that I can't change the past (though the power of Christ's Atonement can help to heal everything), but that we could make plans for when things like this happen in the future.

She determined that, if it ever happens again, she can speak up and state that she's feeling uncomfortable ... and ask to change something (go play with LEGO/utilize a different storyline -- maybe Ken and Barbie are going on a beach trip instead of canoodling) ... but she felt better (more empowered, I think) and better able to deal with things like this in the future.

I did, also, let Michael know about what she and I discussed. As her father, he should be aware of what's going on in her life ... and it wasn't anything horribly private/embarrassing.

Though, I do know that Michael is glad he's married to me, who doesn't have a problem talking about sexuality or intimacy with my kids. Hey, it's a fact of life that we have these feelings ... we have them for a reason. (Boyd K. Packer would tell you that, too. And he is an awesome [now late] apostle).
My mom was very open to answering my questions. And, like her, I'd much prefer that my kids come to me with their questions instead of turning to their friends or (worse, often) the internet.

I do let Bruise and Bucket (and eventually Bubbles) know that we believe that Heavenly Father has a strict moral code. And that obedience to it does protect us. That we believe that sexual intercourse is sacred (though it can also be, dare I say it, fun).
I also let them know that, even if they choose not to obey this moral code, they will still have the fullness of Heavenly Father's and Jesus's love for them (though they will lose the companionship of the Holy Ghost ... and distance themselves from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, until they repent, anyways) ... and that we (Michael and I) will still love them. We'll be disappointed, of course, but we acknowledge that they have their own moral agency and have the right to make their own choices ... though they will have to accept the consequences for those choices. (And, truly, I'd PREFER that they make correct choices and have those happy consequences ... but I get that it's not my life and all that).

I also have let them know that if anyone should disrespect their agency (Heaven forbid that they [or anyone they know. Or anyone they don't know. Or ANYONE] are sexually abused/raped), that they can ALWAYS come to us for love and support. We will do everything that we can to help them. And that, since it wasn't THEIR choice, it's not their sin at all. (And, the Atonement isn't just for sin. It's for EVERYTHING that needs to be made right ... and, through the Atonement, they can be healed body, spirit, mind ... all of that.)

So, yeah. That's a heavier topic than I really wanted to cover with my children ... But it's one that I know I'm going to have to cover multiple times. Like I said, "THE TALK" isn't just a once-and-you're-done type of thing.

*sigh* But it's a good thing, making sure that MAH BAYBEES are prepared for the real world. I mean, that's my main goal as a parent -- to raise (eventual) adults who will be good, self-sufficient citizens, who will be able to make their own choices with confidence, who will have their own testimonies, who will be a source of light and goodness in the world, who will be able to dispel fear and hate and replace it with love and kindness, since the world SURE NEEDS that.

Though, if our children can take care of us in our old age in the manner to which we'd like to be accustomed, though, I wouldn't argue. ;P

Crazy Dream Chronicles - Part Uchtdorf

So, last night, I dreamed and woke up with a recollection of it (from the bags under my eyes, you wouldn't be that well-rested, but there you go).

In my dream, there was something going on in my hometown area (maybe for high school or church).

And my mom had taken my Roxy-Sis out for something ... she and I were scheduled to meet up later.

AND our friend, Mer, was there, so I was giving her a ride (like I'll be doing later this month).

I had a container of makeup and stuff on my desk where she appeared (Not anything like my IRL desk. There's not any ROOM for makeup there, since it's buried in books, papers, and office supplies).
I was going to give her this awesome (wish I had it IRL) pearlescent (creamy green to purple), GLOW-IN-THE-DARK liquid eyeliner.
But she had this special mascara or eyelash treatment, so she couldn't wear it. And I felt bad for offering her something she couldn't use.

On our way to meet Roxy, we were driving on a stretch of road and I pulled into a field to park, not realizing that I HAD pulled into a field.
It was a field that (somehow) was next door to my extended family's property (My great-aunt and her daughters' place), so we started the car again, and I yelled a "hello" (since we were in a hurry) to family members who were visible from the front (eldest cousin [well, first-cousin-once-removed],  then my step-aunt's granddaughter and youngest grandson).

Then we pulled into the old Stake Center in Douglas County for my church (the place where I happened to be baptized, by the by, though that doesn't pertain to this story) ... and there was a meeting there.

In one room, as we walked through, I caught sight of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (the second counselor in our church First Presidency ... so, in short, the third in rank of Church hierarchy), who left off talking with the group that he was with and made his way over to shake my hand.

He asked me how I was doing and about life.
I was a little star struck ... I usually don't get to talk with famous people (at least not without a LOT of planning and some monetary means -- like when Michael got us tickets to see Neil Gaiman, who's also such a lovely, polite person).

And President Uchtdorf wished me a (belated) happy Mother's Day and asked, "Sister [C], how's your calling going?"

(If you're not fluent in Latter-day Saint Church-speak, your calling is the responsibility that you've been extended [and accepted] in your ward/stake/area/etc. You don't get paid for it. My current calling is teaching the Sunday School class for the 12- and 13-year-olds [or that were 12 or 13 at the beginning of the calendar year, I should say]. My most-recent past calling was Nursery Leader. Michael's current calling [for what feels like FOREVER, but is really, what, six years, I think] is Elders' Quorum President. Our leaders, even our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and the apostles and area authorities are all called by God. And, yes, we CAN refuse a calling. It's our choice. Though it is recommended to accept, knowing that the Lord will strengthen and qualify you to the work ... If you have questions, just hit me a comment. I can explain more. ^_^ Clear as mud, right?)

And I started gushing (briefly, since I know that President Uchtdorf is a busy man and has lots of responsibilities) that I loved my calling ... which I do. I have a great class of young adults who make teaching really fun ... even if we barely touch on the recommended topic for that class. But I have the Ward's Sunday School President's okay for that. The main goal in the new "manual" (it's all online, really) is to help the Youth to understand the doctrines and be strengthened/ready to face the world. It's a BIG goal, but it's a good one.

But ... and I realized this more after I woke up ... President Uchtdorf KNEW who I was. He called me by name.

Which puts me in mind (especially after I've fallen out of habit [AGAIN] of daily scripture reading and prayer) that our Heavenly Father KNOWS who I am. He KNOWS my name.
Heck, he KNOWS me better than I know myself.

And that's humbling.

Still, as awesome and dear as President Uchtdorf is, HIS knowing my name is a little scary.
Since that could end up in a huge calling for Michael (or me) where we'd have to move to UTAH.
(Nothing bad about Utah, really. Besides the lack of green and that my family's almost ALL here in Oregon ... But I'm sure that it'd be lots easier to get a Caffeine-free Cherry Coke there ...)

But, yeah ... that's my takeaway from the dream. So far, anyways.

Counting ...

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