Monday, August 31, 2009

"You don't have to blog about EVERYTHING."

That title is courtesty of my youngest cousin ... who just started sixth grade, oh. em. GOSH.
(If you saw me right this instant, you'd see me feeling very OLD.)

That quote was brought about when I asked him if I could share our new inside joke. Which I'm going to share ANYWAYS, now.

He had turned his head away as he said, "No offense." ... And, since life with me is like living a game of Mad Gab, I had to ask him, "Did you just say WALNUTS??"
(And so, for the rest of the weekend, he'd walk past me and stage whisper "WALNUTS," that silly boy.)

Of course, when he was playing Hide-and-Seek with the munchkins (which they've gotten MUCH better at!), he'd ask them, "Where's [his name]?" ... and they'd run off shrieking for "That little boy." (Yes, my three-year-olds call their twelve-year-old cousin a little boy. I don't quite get it. But I appreciate that they refer to 70-year-old women as "girls.") ... They did this because my cousin told them that he was Mark, his own (non-existent) twin brother.

*shifty eyes* I have no idea where they inhereited this gullibility .... So says the girl who believed her dad when he told her that if she went near a beaver, it'd bite her leg off. Or her Jr. High Science teacher who told her that her thumbs' shape was due to "Stubby Thumb Syndrome." ... Yeah ... nooooooo clue. *shifty eyes*

But, yeah. We had a very nice weekend. Friday, as you know, we drove down to Bandon. We stopped and toook the kids to the Newport Aquarium. Got to see the Octopus there ... Shelia ... and her brood of eggs. Poor gal probably won't be there for long (Female octopuses/octopi die after all the care they give their eggs).

Then we drove down to Bandon and got to the beach house. Just a short little walk (maybe two blocks?) to the jetty with a little bit of beach (Seriously, if you are looking for a beach house reantal, this was a REALLY nice place). Bucket and Bruise were so sad that Mutti didn't go to the beach with them on Friday. Also, Bruise appears to be REALLY scared of the waves ... whereas Bucket would have leaped headlong into them if I hadn't held her hand.

(Saturday: Mom/Mutti, Cousin Ashley, Michael, the kidlets and I went to the beach. Bucket, Ashley and I played in the waves. Ashley lost one of her flip-flops when we were chasing waves. "I only brought one pair of shoes!" she cried. ... I couldn't go after it, since we had Bucket with us and I couldn't see where in the waves it had even gone. Luckily (blessedly), her shoe washed up not ten feet from us within five seconds. We had made jokes about an octopus wearing Ashley's shoe. And, really, if her shoe HAD been lost, I was more than willing to give up my pair of flip-flops until she could get a new pair (since I knew she wouldn't want to rely on my dollar pair ... which like to come apart a lot.))

Saturday, we took Mom and my Stepdad with us and went down to the Prehistoric Gardens, south of Port Orford. We stopped and toured the Cape Blanco Lighthouse (which was a little nerve-wracking with two three-year-olds climbing 63 stairs and a ladder up to the top of the tower ... especially with 50 mph winds blowing. We were on the last tour, since they had to shut down due to the winds. ^_^), and then we stopped by a little lavender garden (I now have a jar of Lavender jelly and a bottle of essential oil. Yum!) and a candy shop (if you go, they have free samples. I especially like the honey bites and the pie candies. My Stepdad adores the Cranberries in Ivory -white chocolate-) where Mom and I picked up some treats. ^_^

Sunday morning we went to the Bandon LDS Branch for Sacrament Meeting. It was the smallest church building I've ever been to. Pretty little building (I know I'm shallow. But I liked that the chapel was white and sea green. It was kind of funny that my jacket and undershirt were coordinated with the room ^_^). Then we went back to the beach house, made sure we were mostly packed up (I did one last load of our laundry) and Mom went with us to walk on the beach and to walk around the marina (a special treat for Bruise).

Oh ... did I mention that my mom's GREAT at eBay? She had two GINORMOUS boxes of stuff for Bruise and Bucket. Bucket especially loves her Snow White ballerina outfit (appears to be a homemade costume and is very pretty). Bruise adores his Transformers Underoos (he used them and his Spiderman Underoos as pajamas while we were with my family).

We had quite a bit of family there: Mom and my Stepdad, Aunt Julie with her dog, Sonny Boy;
Uncle K and his wife, C, along with my cousin's baby girl, Haven; Uncle B and Aunt T and their kids: Tiff, Ashley, and AJ (aka, Mark's twin) (and you know that Mark doesn't exist).

It'd been a while since I'd seen everyone. (Except for my folks and Jule, I hadn't seen everyone else since Thanksgiving.)

Oh, while we were at Cranberry Sweets, Bucket ran into the corner of a glass shelf. She burst into tears and, as Michael picked her up to assess the damage, she peed all over his fleece vest (which repels water well) and the floor. *sigh* (Yes, my daughter is part camel and loves to drink when she's in the car. ... And when she gets mad [Like, say, when I send her for a time-out], she often loses bladder control. I'm working on that.)
But the gals working there were VERY nice about it. (They told me, "Oh, these things happen. It's fine."Even though my mom and I were quite embarassed.)

But it was a really nice trip. Like I said, the beach house was VERY nice. We slept upstairs (if you click on the link when I first mention the beach house and scroll through the pictures, you can see a little picture of our bedroom -- the one with the view of the beach and Table Rock). Since it's so close to the jetty, you hear the foghorn as it sounds ... about every twenty-thirty seconds. (I slept with earplugs in Friday night, but not Saturday.)

The kids all slept downstairs, which was nice. Except that my munchkins wanted to get dressed in our room ... next time we'll just keep their luggage in our room. ^_^

We didn't go to West Coast Game Park this time (I had forgotten to bring the charger for our GOOD camera. Oops! ... and it is rather spendy: $15/adult (13+) and, for us, $11 for Bruise and Bucket together ... that's approacing $50 for about 1-2.5 hours of walking, not including the money for cones of feed for the goats and donkeys walking around.
However, if we'd had the camera all charged up, we'd have gone. But it was good to take the kids to see the dinosaurs this time (which, for the SIX of us -- Mom, Cecil, Michael, the kidlets, and me was almost exactly the same price), since none of us had ever been to that before (and we've all been to the game park). Really, it's a cool place ... and we will go again sometime soon. But it is rather spendy, in my opinion. I'm probably spoiled, since we go to the Zoo about every month (but for being so much larger, the zoo is cheaper. Even more so with our membership. Just sayin'). However, I can understand that West Coast has less people coming as often and does have to pay (somehow) for all those animals and the cost of their care.

I can't believe that it's already about to be September. That's crazy!

Well, I need to close this up and finish a couple books during the kids' nap today. Then do the dishes and clean up the house a bit (although, thankfully, most of it is pretty clean due to all my hard work last week. Yay!!).

(It's been a month, today, that Gingi-cat died. I still miss her.)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Out of the mouth of babes

Sorry for my radio silence ... I've just been busy and/or lazy. ^_^

Last week, I was reading to the munchkin brigade. We were reading I Have a Sister. My Sister is Deaf.
As I read the title, Bucket exclaims, "Oh, what a PRETTY name!"
And then, I had to fight off near-hysterical giggles as I explained that the girls name wasn't "Deaf."

I mean, it's not like she's had no experience with deaf people ... some of Michael's relatives have a type of nerve deafness (most have had cochlear implants and can hear now). My dad and his eldest brother both have Ushers Syndrome (and, thus, are legally blind and hard-of-hearing).

Still, it made me laugh. And worry that she might try to name her next stuffed animal "Deaf."

Besides that, I've gotten caught up on dishes and the laundry (but not getting it put away ... at least, not the kids' laundry. It's all folded, though) ... and I've made some good dinners this week (I had NO idea that Stroganoff was TOTALLY easy to make! Now I can make it ALL THE TIME!) ...
Right now, I'm in Bandon at a beach house with family. It's great. Very pretty place. We're going to walk to the beach later.

(NOTE: If you're a would-be robber, I'm totally lying. We're at home, cleaning our guns. A rifle and two shotguns. ... I'm not lying about the types of guns. And Michael says that I'm a decent shot with the rifle. Fo' sho'.)

Oh ... I should mention this -- Bruise is CRAZY about Michael's iPhone. (Which makes me so glad that we don't have it acting as a phone. He'd probably end up calling up someone in Beijing or Helsinki ... and then we'd have the phone bill to deal with. And I don't even want to THINK about that.
BUT, he's crazy about it. He loves the Star Wars lightsaber app and some basketball application ... and we have to watch him as he looks up YouTube videos. When he's watching Transformers made of cigarette boxes trying to .... um .... gain carnal knowledge of each other (WITHER THE FRIES?!?!?!?), that's when we have to wrestle the iPhone away and change it so something safe, like CuteOverload or something.

Bruise and Bucket got some AWESOME clothes. My Mom's great at eBay. And so they now each have a huge shipment of clothes to grow into. And Bruise's has CHURCH CLOTHES!! Bucket's thrilled with her dresses and hair pretties and a Snow White Ballerina-style costume and a little tutu ... Bruise is very happy with his Transformers Underoos (No, REALLY. UNDEROOS. I'm a little jealous. I didn't have Underoos. But I've dealt with it. ... You know, that's probably why I was so thrilled with the Hello Kitty panties that I bought at a Sanrio store in Santa Rosa when I was in high school. Well, that and the fact that Sanrio products are inherently AWESOME ... and JAPANESE.)

(And, hey, if I lose, like, 50 lbs, I could maybe fit in the biggest size of Underoos. I think. Maybe.)
(Maybe I could even buy some of those REALLY ADORABLE Sanrio shirts on sale at Le Target. ... Maybe.)

We had a good time at the Aquarium. I learned that the fish that I like to watch swimming in their tank -- the ones that gasp SO big as they swim in their school that you can TOTALLY see their little red rows of gills as they swim by -- are anchovies. I know that I should have realized this before, but I never realized that they'd be that big! I always figured that they'd be all small, like sardines, since you eat them on pizzas and all ... I somehow never thought about the fact that they're cut up for that. Probably because I never have (and never really plan to) eaten anchovies.

Okay. I should close this up and be all social and be ready for the rest of the family to show up. ^_^
(Unless you're a robber. And then I'm cleaning the rifle at my house. And, dude, our neighbor is SO watching our house. Fo' realz.)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Crazy Dream Chronicles, Part ... Fifty-seven!

So what I recall of my dream was that I was visiting teaching a lady who'd never answer her phone. BUT I wasn't trying to get hold of her. I was visiting an old teacher or someone ... and he lived in an old cotton farm. But someone has spread sand over the ground and nothing'd grow (Yes, I know that SALT would have that effect ... Sand? Not so much). And he had a large mobile home that was heated by steam and he had his daughter and her family staying with him. And he was a friend of my stepdad ... and the daughter turned out to be that gal I was supposed to VT and could never get hold of.
And I and a bunch of other people ended up having to spend the night and we watched TV with them. And one of my sisters-in-law (Who, by the by, in RL are all already married) received a large, wonderfully-done, deep-red-colored wedding cake. The frosting cunningly looked like velvet, with smooth fondant decoration on the top of the two large layers. Very gorgeous.
And I got a pretty and antique rolling chef's table. And I KNEW that I owed a very thoughtful "thank you" note to the lady, like a grandmother-type-age-lady ... so it must have been the daughter's mom or aunt.
And my sister-in-law and her husband and I were all making plans of where to go to eat the cake. And, during the morning, as I slept toastily near a heat vent, we watched some show about mountain climbling or something.

Any takers?
Because I have NO FLIPPIN' CLUE what it means, if anything at all.

In other news, Michael has the van today, so I'm stuck around home. I think I'll make the kids take a walk to the closest library so we can turn in books and go to the special storytime there today. ... Small consolation for missing storytime in the next town. ^_^ But it looks like it'll be a lovely, sunny day. And a little heat won't kill us.
And, if I change my mind, we'll just stay home until the nice, lovely, air-conditioned van get here. Then I can turn in books and maybe go to the OTHER library to turn in books and pick up my books on hold there. *sigh*
And tomorrow, Michael will be working on the truck.

If anyone has copious amounts of money burning a hole in their pockets, you're more than welcome to give us some. ^_^ I'm just sayin'. ^_^

Other plans today: wash laundry, fold laundry, put away laundry. Wash dishes, put away dishes (DO NOT fold dishes). Clean the bathrooms. Vacuum, if I get to that. Perhaps work on some Personal Progress, be a good example to my sweet Young Women. ^_^ Maybe watch a movie and/or read a book. We'll see.

Yes, yes. My life is SO super-exciting. ^_^

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Catching Up ... Again

Please accept my humble and myriad apologies for my abject neglect of you!

Things have just been ... things. ^_^

We went down to visit my family this last weekend, since my mom's birthday is TODAY (a weekday). She asked for me to download and install some good anti-bad-stuff software, so I did.
(If you really want to know what she got? OpenOffice, since she needed a word-processing program. And Michael likes OpenOffice fine. The things that I installed were Avira's Anti-Vir [antivirus], Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware, and Clean-Up! They're all free and if my friend, Damien, who does IT for a hospital recommends them, then I totally trust his judgement. ^_^)

I finished reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak aloud to Michael. Only broke into tears about, what, three or four times. It's a really, really, REALLY good book. If you haven't read it, I totally recommend it. It's not the HAPPIEST book ... but it's really, really, REALLY, REALLY good. (I've read it before, which is why I knew I HAD to read it with Michael.)
(Now we're more than halfway through John O'Hurley's It's Okay to Miss the Bed on the First Jump: And Other Life Lessons I Learned from Dogs, which is quite fun. Even though I'm not the biggest dog-person, it's a really good book. I'm enjoying it.)

For the rest of the time, I've been working on various little things. Michael and I folded the laundry. I've taken the kids to storytimes at our libraries. I cleaned out the kids' dresser drawers and put away all their clothes (until I finish folding what's in the washer and dryer :S). I had caught up on the dishes. I went visiting teaching (Yay! We did it! And it's not the last day of the month!!!). I've worked on rosters and lists and etc for Young Women's.

I need to work on my Personal Progress. I never completed mine when I was in Young Women's ... and that was with the OLD manual. The big white one ... where you could earn a total of four necklaces. I only ever earned my Beehive medallion, which I still have. I still need to finish the requirements for the Mia Maid and Laurel requirements. Then I can do the last bits for the last one. The Young Women Recognition, or whatever it was called. I'd have to go dig out my old manual to look it up.

For the new manual, if you didn't know, you earn only the one necklace for your Young Women recognition. And it doesn't look like any of the past necklaces ... except the fact that it's in an oval shape. ^_^ But the program has been streamlined quite a bit. Six value experiences in the seven older values (Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, and Integrity) and four for the newest value (Virtue). Plus a Value Project (to help oneself put in practice what one has learned about that value ... and takes at least 10 hours) for each Value.

It's pretty cool. And we've gotten quite a few of our girls who've already earned theirs. I've been in my callings in YW for over a year now. I need to really get on things. *sigh* I need to stop being lazy. ^_^

Bruise didn't want to take a nap yesterday. He came out proclaiming that "The clock is on the twelve!"(meaning that it's SOMETHING-o'clock. They were supposed to nap until 4:00 ... it was 2:00 or 3:00. When I sent him back to bed, he was sobbing so much that I was worried he'd wake up Bucket [No fears there. She wasn't going to wake up until after 4. And that was with my working to wake her up! TIRED girl!!]. So I brought him into my bed where he snuggled himself to sleep as I finished a book.
He's so silly sometimes. And, oh, but as he demanded a Kleenex to wipe his nose, I realized how much of a big boy he's getting to be. Even though he still likes to give me kisses and snuggle and be tickled ... that's going to change. All too soon. Dang boy's growing up before my eyes. I don't know if I like it.

I'm not all that great with change. As you can probably tell. Since I've accepted Gingi-cat's death OH-SO gracefully. *sigh*

I'm mostly all better. I can look at pictures and a little seven-second video I took of her once without it hurting too badly. But I do miss her something fierce. If I didn't have Crazy-head Diana-cat, I might go out and get a kitten. Except that'd be expensive with the immunizations a kitten needs and all. *sigh* And the spaying. Oy. That's more expensive. Ugh.

Besides that ... well, there's not a whole ton of a ton of stuff going on. Mostly just the same-ol', same-ol'. ... Yes, I could be much more exciting.

But to close up, I'll share this music video. It was done with some help from Jed Whedon (Joss Whedon's brother) and I enjoy it quite a lot. ^_^

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Book Review - His Name is Jesus by Max Lucado

(Disclaimer: I was compensated for my honest opinon of this book by receiving the free copy of His Name is Jesus from Thomas Nelson Books. If you want to get free books or DVDs to review, go check them out. They do strongly want honest reviews.)

His Name is Jesus is a beautiful volume chronicling the life of Christ. Lucado’s goal is that anyone who reads this book will gain a deeper understanding and a greater desire to follow our Savior. Lucado discusses Christ’s role in the creation, in His mortal ministry, and in His sacrifice for all mankind.

On first receiving this book from Thomas Nelson, I could only think about how PRETTY it is. There is beautiful photography on every page, from endsheet on. It comes packaged in its own hard book jacket. The thought behind the presentation is really amazing.

I do believe that Lucado does an excellent job of reaching his goal to help people understand Christ and His life’s mission. He does a wonderful job of helping to explain some of the customs of the time (since, face it, life in Biblical-era Israel is far different than most of our lives now). I especially loved the thought that went into his retelling of the woman caught in adultery … or how Pontius Pilate must have felt when faced with this man from Gallilee, whom the crowd so hated. He refers to many Biblical verses from multiple modern translations of the text to support and to enrich his text.

I would recommend this book. It presented in a beautiful and simply-worded way. Many books about Jesus can come off as, well, schmaltzy. Lucado has managed to craft a volume that can speak to people without being off-putting at all. It rather reminds me a bit of C.S. Lewis’ writings or of Madeline L’Engle’s Bright Evening Star. As I mentioned, it’s very aesthetically appealing and would be gorgeous on a coffee table, if you’re that type. (I know it sounds trite, but it is a really GORGEOUS book … which is only fitting, considering its contents). It would also be a lovely gift for a friend or family member. Or for yourself, even.

Friday, August 07, 2009


This clip is my new favorite (for at least the next five minutes):

And, if you're on Facebook, you should try changing the language to English (Pirate) -- scroll to the bottom of the page. Whatever language that you're currently reading will be a little blue link on the left-hand side of the page (e.g., mine says "English (US)"). Click that ... then click "English (Pirate). Hilariaty ensues. (And it's totally easy to change back.)

That is all.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Back to better ...

So, now it's time for a happier post. (I know, I know. I've taken my sweet time about it. Sorry!)

Now, I don't have tons and tons to share, since I haven't been going through all my usual blogs.

Truly, I've mostly just been hanging on Facebook, playing games and more games (Good news: in Calvin Coconut Island, I've finally managed to build an iron mine, a rock quarry, and the Blue Water Bungalows ... which, unless you play the game, means NOTHING. ^_^ ... But, if you want a low-key game where you own an ISLAND, you should totally start playing it. I like it. ^_^)

This just proves how strange I am ... but I really enjoy videos of Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo ... there are lots of videos on YouTube. Men dancing as ballerinas (not as ballerinos). They make me laugh. When I was in college, they came and performed at WOU ... but I didn't go, since it sounded really strange. Totally regret that. :(

And here are some decently-silly links --
  • There's a website called "Emails from Crazy People"
    This one (No Pets Clause) is probably my favorite thus far.
    This is one (Gary- Landlord of the Flies) that was around before the site started. And ... wow. Makes me SO glad that we're not renting anymore. (Start from the last page, it's in reverse chronological order. And there's LANGUAGE and general insanity. Just warning you.)
  • This is a site that's not the easiest to browse through its archives ... but Funny Exams is full of ... funny exams.
  • Here are some Funny Wedding Photos ... none of them are from my wedding. (We had some funny pictures ... most of them are other people being funny. I was mostly trying not to pass out. Silly me! I'm making sure that when Bucket gets married, she at least has a smoothie or something more than a packet of fruit snacks. I'm just saying.)
  • And here's a company with a good sense of humor about messing up: Company Apologizes, Hilairously, For Mail Merge Screw-up (Consumerist). It made me smile. And want to do business with them, since it seems like they're genuinely cool people.
Interesting news stuffs:
Cute things:
  • - You can buy (or just see how they do it) a kit to make a loaf of bread with a picture that shows up on each slice! (They have a cute blog, too.)
  • Or, if you don't want to buy that, you can go HERE and learn how to make a loaf of PANDA BREAD (Note: No pandas were injured during the making or consumption of this bread. And GOSH, it's CUTE!)
And ... does it make me a terrible geek that I want to know more and more about this (Squee!! Firefly RPG?? DOUBLE SQUEE!!)?
... I've actually never played any RPG games that weren't video games. Crazy, huh? (Although I LOVE reading Darths and Droids - a SW RPG parody webcomic. If you have the time, start at the beginning. And make sure to read the notes underneath ... for people like me who wouldn't get all the humor of the comic. It's a good one. ^_^)
Michael's played D&D before. And I have a guide to Sailor Moon RPG (I bought it really to get all sorts of information about the characters and the series ... never used it to play, though.) that I bought about a decade ago.

But, yeah ... if you want to play Calvin Coconut Island, add me as a friend there and I'll send you a gift! ^_^

Other news: Am dealing better. Still miss my cat. Found her OLD collar that she barely every wore. But I have it. And I put together a little necklace that helps me feel a bit better.
I've managed to sleep through the night without waking up to cry since Sunday.

I think that I'm going to try and make a little tag for her ... It'll have her name and lifespan on it. And I might buy this pendant off of etsy to wear with it. I would really like to.
And I really want to make a tile like this to put on her grave.

Okay. Well, that's really all the big news. Besides the fact that it was Taco Tuesday at Jack-in-the-Box yesterday. ... They'll be doing it again next week. So, if you want two free tacos, go to the website and print off your coupons (one per customer/visit ... and here they have you go inside to order. ... but you can feed the family a couple tacos each. Free! You don't have to buy anything to go with it! ... which is pretty cool).

So ... yeah. That's really about it. Hope that you're all having fun (and that's why no one's commenting. It's not that I've driven you all away by not being happy 24/7 ... right? Right? :P)

Monday, August 03, 2009

Kids these days ...

So, as I had broken down, being sad again about Gingi, I told Michael, "She didn't even smell like herself. She smelled like the soap from her bath. *sniff* I don't have anything that smells like her! *sniff*"

Bucket came over to me and helpfully suggested, "You could smell her bones."

I couldn't help myself. I laughed.

And Bruise ran to me to declare "Box of bones!" and started laughing.

Yes, my kids know that Gingi-cat's body is buried in the yard. And that SHE'S not there ... her body is. And bodies decompose until they're bones.

Geez, their poor teachers ... I might have the strangest, most morbid children in their class ever.

Yeah, I don't think that Gingi's bones are going to have the scent that her fur or her breath did.
(I miss her cat breath with the hint of chlorine from drinking water from the tap or toilet <-- Hey, it was flushed! It's not like I was french-kissing her or anything! ... And I miss the scent of her fur, once the soap from her last bath scent wore off and she smelled only of herself. I miss burying my nose in her fur. ... But not enough to dig up her little, emanciated body. It just wouldn't be the same. Or very respectful, for that matter.)

Yeah, this wasn't the happy-happy post that I promised. But I'll work on getting some not-about-me-dealing posts. Probably as soon as I've come more to terms ... I hope that it's soon. I don't want to be a bother to anyone. ... ...
Two days in a row that I haven't woken up in the middle of the night crying. That's god, right?

I still cry a bit when I am waking up. Or when I think too much. Or when I'm trying to fall asleep.
But not in the middle of the night.
That's progress, right?

Of course, reading through the archives of Overhead In the Ward helps. Very LDS humor ... but, oh-so-so-so funny. It's helped.

Michael and his brother, C, were able to fix the truck today. It only took MAYBE an hour, total. There was just a screw loose where the gasoline was leaking out. *phew* I love that prayer works. Now maybe I'll take Michael up on a blessing to help me deal with life without my Gingi-babe. I mean, I didn't want to ask for too much of Heavenly Father all at once. I mean, not that I had ANY doubts that He could handle everything that I could ever think of to ask for (and more), but my main priority was getting the truck working again. And it is.
(C also fixed a couple of our doors. Pretty awesome. See? This is what I didn't have, being an only child. Having siblings means that you can get people who help you. Nice! ^_^)

So now I can just try and get to that acceptance-and-trying-to-move-on part of my life. Although I can't really get my brain around not having Ginger around. ... And, I know that it's really only temporary ... but it's not fun.
And, yes, I know ... it's not supposed to be.

But, like I've said, I'm not all that great at adapting joyfully to change. As much as I adore President Monson, I STILL miss President Hinckley.

But, for now, I just keep in mind that quote from Sleepless in Seattle: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.

And, after a while, I know that I'll stop crying so often, that I'll be able to only remember the happy times, that the hurting will dull away ... and that will be a good day.

It's not today ... but I haven't taken an extra shower just to give me the privacy to cry alone and without worrying about how it's affecting my family. (Seriously, the shower? A great place to cry. You don'thave to worry about everyone overhearing your snifflings, you don't have to go through a box of Kleenex, you get to be alone ... Since I don't have a little cave to crawl to in which I can lick my wounds in private, the shower's the next best thing.)

Today is a little easier than yesterday. And I'm glad for that. I hope that tomorrow will be a little easier still ... and so on and so on and so on.

I may have come across a new way to deal with the whining ... collapse on the floor and say that the whining exhausts you ... and you can even declare that you're dead.
I'll have to see if it continues to work after today.
And, when Bucket repeats and repeats and repeats a request (without waiting for a response in between), I've made a blanket statement that I have to say "No" if she doesn't wait for a response. Because, frankly, I find it ANNOYING AS HELL.
(Yes, I know. Patience is not one of the virtues that I have perfected. ... I've got a long, long way to go. I'm aware.)

But, yeah ... doing better.
I'll try and post soon something FUN and not about how EMO I am and stuff.

Soon. Pinkie-swears!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Last night ...

... I was able to sleep the night through without waking up to cry.

It helps that I put a flower on Gingi-cat's grave. It comforts me a little to look out and see that bare, dry earth with a hydrangea on it.

On the other hand, I have to say that (when they're not whining) my kids are pretty awesome.

Bruise was snuggling with me, and as I started to cry, he jumped up, "I get you a K'eenex!"
And he did.
After I wiped my eyes and nose, he was about to throw it away ... but I stopped him, "I can still use it."
Then he wouldn't LET me throw it away. "Put it under your pillow," he instructed me, "and it will turn into a wowwipop."
"My Kleenex will turn into a lollipop??"
"Really. Is that how lollipops are made?"

Adorable. I totally blame my mom for bringing those lollipops all gussied up for Halloween ... you know the kind -- decorated as ghosts with a Kleenex with eyes and a mouth drawn on, held in place with a bit of yarn?
(The kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those. As they do anything involving a lollipop. ^_^)

And, hey, if you can say a prayer or two that Michael will be able to fix the truck, I'd REALLY appreciate it.

Counting ...

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