Saturday, May 12, 2018

Blindsided: Follow-up

So, I found that my friend passed of a heart attack.

Last night, before Michael confirmed her cause of death, I dreamt that we were driving by some apartments (apartments that I'm not aware that she had ever lived in).

As we were driving by, I saw her coming out, just having woken up, in her pajamas, before having brushed her hair, to get the mail.

I screeched at Michael to pull over and I jumped out of the car.

I ran up to her, "I thought you were dead!!"

"What? No, I'm fine!!" She laughed.

She gave me one of her awesome hugs and we laughed and it was so nice.

... Sometimes I don't like my dreams. I'd much rather that one be true than our actual reality.

At least the one where I talked to Pop-pop, we were both fully aware that he'd passed. And he still assured me that he was fine and it was good.

Between this and no cell service while Michael and Bruise were at the Father-son campout, so I had no idea if they were okay, if they'd even made it to the campsite, etc ... I'm kinda worked up. A lot. I don't like that.

I just wish that I could turn off my emotions for a while.
And I don't think that I'm making it to my friend's funeral ... I'm going to keep my boys in sight for the rest of today, I think.

And, is there any way to petition a cell tower out that way??? Just for my peace of mind?
Especially, since every other year, we've at least been able to call each other ... depending where in the campground we have stood.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Blindsided

I wish this were a happy post.

But I am just trying to process ... so bear with me.

I just got the news that one of my friends, a lady who I had visit-taught, passed away.
She passed just over a week ago. Her funeral is tomorrow.

Just a couple days before her passing, she had facebooked that she was having some health issues to where her doctor ordered a CAT scan. And that she wanted to be able to go back to her home state to help out her mom (who has cancer).

Apparently, she had facebooked in the morning on the day she passed. Just news stories and such.

I am going to miss her. She would send me links that she thought I'd be interested in.

When I first met her, she was not active at church. While I knew her, she became active. She was funny and sweet. She loves animals.

She has a teenage son (stepson, technically, but he's HERS) who went to school at my kids' elementary school. Her husband recently joined the church, which made her so happy.

The thought that came to me is that maybe she's gone on ahead of her mom, to help prepare things there. She can be the one to meet her mom really soon.

But I'm going to miss her. She's a real sweetie.

I just hate missing people. I really, really don't like it.

Don't mind me. I'm going to go cry in the shower. And shave my legs. Because I need to do that.
Especially if I'm going to her funeral (It's either Michael or me. And I should be prepared. ... We'd both like to be there, but there's Bruise and Bubbles's soccer games...).