Monday, May 22, 2017

Layers upon Layers of TEH CRAZEE in today's serving of Crazy Dream Chronicles™

So, since my dream was SO full of the craziness, Imma just going to do bullet points.
(It's not like anything is going to make much sense, anyways. Let's just look at the facets on this brilliant cut jewel of CRAZY.)

  • Michael bought a camper trailer. It was ... in serious need of repairs.
    (Though, irl, his dad often will buy things to fix up. Or he'll "redesign" a plan ... hence the toolhouse he built before he and Mom C moved away. We called it "the birdhouse," since that's what it looked like. ... Michael usually doesn't do this. He's very aware of how much time he has to put into a project AND about how much time to budget to really fix a project.)
  • I took a nap in said dream-trailer as we drove somewhere. Then I woke up and played a computer game. For a small fee of in-game coins (that you could earn, since I'm cheap like that), you could have the in-game band perform a special song.
    Which, as it turns out, they did as a CGI-version of the cast of Daria. Dressed in medieval garb. It was glorious. I wondered if I had enough coins to afford to do it again so that Michael could see the glory of it.
  • When we stopped, I worked to fix up the kitchen counter in there. Then I realized that I need to take inventory and plan for all the pantry supplies (salt, pepper, dry goods, etc) so that we could use the camper at a moment's notice. 
  • In the camper, there was also a rusty, claw-foot bathtub with part of a shower curtain around it. The shower curtain needed to be washed, so I took it down and it was COATED with this weird, viscous, clear gelatin. GROSS. And then the tub was one-third full of this yucky, milky, thick liquid. I considered myself lucky that I had a pair of those yellow kitchen gloves, so I pulled the plug to drain it. And filled it with some clear water for rinsing it out.
    BUT!! The water didn't go down the drain correctly, and you could feel the water sloshing around under the metal-plated floor.
    AND!!!!! In the clear water, there was this black, smoke-like liquid undulating up from the drain. Out of the tub/drain (though I don't know HOW) springs a full-grown chimpanzee with a dead baby chimp dangling by its heel from her hand. She races out the door and drops the stillborn chimp on the junk pile we're parked on.
    Then another chimpanzee ... or maybe the first one came back and traded a dead human baby for the now-living (and remarkably eloquent ... like talking better than most 4-year-old humans) baby chimpanzee.
  • Then Michael and I were moving into a house with his old roommate, B, and his wife, P (I have no idea where ANY of our kids are). We were living in a house together and decided to trade which floors we lived on. They used to have the ground floor. There had been a tiny jacuzzi in the living room, but they ripped it out. So there was this green-tiled area with one of those metal dishes you screw into a wall (but this was in the floor) to hide/stop the pipes.
    And there was a BIG bathtub in the corner near it. That was cool, sure, but, like, what if someone wanted to watch TV while Michael and I used the bath? That'd be really awkward. Even with a shower curtain. It's just a bad interior design.
Then I woke up, since Michael's alarm went off and he wasn't in the room. So I got up, since I needed to ... powder my nose. And I told him about the crazy of the dreams.

And, stepping into the bathroom, I stepped on an article of clothing that the kids left out ... which, combined with the fact that I use body oil spray when I get out of the shower AND we have those peel-and-stick tiles on the bathroom floor ... I slipped in slow motion. I landed (softly, expecially considering my body-type) with my left leg bent under me (like half-lotus or cross-cross-applesauce) and my right leg pointed straight out in front of me.

And, since I am behind on the laundry, my fall was cushioned by the pile of dirty clothes ... so ... tender mercies of the Lord?

Then I went back to bed.

  • Michael and I were going through a drive-thru restaurant, but something was going wrong...
  • MOM and I were going through the drive-thru and we thought we'd get slushies.
    They had three flavors: Orange, Green, and Red ... and those each had a description (but after picking up the house, loading the dishwasher, rushing a kid to school for Musical Theater, and dealing with a Miss Little Chatterbox, I'm forgetting most of the flavors.
    BUT! The mean thing was that the red one was Ginger Dragonfruit, which sounded really intriguing.
    BUT! They only were serving certain flavors on certain days ... or something. And one of the slushie machines was out of order. And I didn't really care for the other flavors as much. And, since they didn't have signs on the drive-thru menu about the limitations on flavors, I was a little miffed. 
  • We got our dang drinks anyways and brought them to Michael's truck.
Yeah ... I don't really know what's up with my subconscious. No clue.

But I need to get myself showered and dressed, since I have a cousin-friend (srsly, we're like 10th cousins, 7 times removed) and maybe her grown-up daughters coming over to watch a movie together. I'll put Bubbles to play on the blue tablet ... it'll be good.

Yeah, I really have NO CLUE what my subconscious is up to. No idea at all.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Second helping of those Crazy Dream Chronicles™

So, since I've been awake for a little, I'm losing some of the details ... but here's the gist:

There was one part in where there were ants. LOTS of ANTS. And I was tracing where they were coming from. They were crawling up a bookshelf (like one that Michael's made for me in our house), but the setup of the house was more like my mom's house (my childhood home). I was debating on getting a spray bottle with water, alcohol, and peppermint oil ... and how badly it might hurt the books on those shelves.


The other part of my dream had me going to the inside of a building. It seemed like a historical building, but also like a used-book store (which, tbh, would be a place that I'd LOVE. Since books, for cheap. And the smell of books permeating the room(s). Love that).

And there was a guy there. Kinda a larger-built guy, bushy hair ... kinda reminds me of the acupuncturist I had after a car accident. Nice guy. Haven't seen him in over a decade.

BUT, this guy, in my dream, he was a painter. And I was looking for a birthday present for Michael. And I figured that I'd get a painting ... since, well, here I am, and here's a local-artist-guy ... and we start making plans. And it'll be cool. And hopefully Michael will like it.

Later, I catch up with the artist again (LET IT BE SAID, that, irl, if I were to commission a painting, Michael and I have already agreed that we'd get it from one of our friends who does GORGEOUS seascapes and florals. Seriously, her work is amazeballs. She also makes a most wonderful neighbor and I miss her very, very much since she moved back to Utah) ... and I'm looking at the invoice....

And, like, I thought I'd be paying in the neighborhood of, say, $300 for a commissioned painting.
It's, like, $2,198 ... and I'm just flabbergasted. I'm GASTED with FLABBER.
This is seriously expensive. And what if Michael doesn't even like it?
So I'm trying to backpedal to arrange something that, you know, we can AFFORD, while not offending his artistic sensibilities.

And that's really about the part where I wake up.

But I do miss getting acupuncture. Pretty relaxing, really.
Not as relaxing as a massage, of course. But still a bit decadent.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Yet another dishing of Allanna's Crazy Dream Chronicles

I'm coughing less ... when I remember to take my steroid inhaler (1 puff in the morning. One at night. ... If I miss a dose, the next couple days are ... interesting).

I keep having strange dreams.

Here's one that I had typed up for my Facebook page:

Well, my dreams were not the most restful. First part, Michael and I picked up plans for a new house, but didn't tour the model home (though it was practically across the street) so I couldn't picture it in my mind to explain it to people.
(You might NOT want to read further, if you're squeamish. Just giving you advance warning.) 
Then we were at a meeting to look at more plans, but it turned into a missionary-type meeting and I was filling out a paper to help tech people (but it seemed more like busywork/fill-in-the-blanks, which was SO NOT REAL) ... then I was sitting on a couch next to [Bubbles] and we're about to say a prayer and I scratch off a scab-thing on my elbow-pit and this pink, gelatinous tube comes out. And it's MOVING. There's a WORM. IN MY ARM. And, since it's prayer, I can't just go get up and gab something to wrap it in and throw it away, so I fling it onto the floor. Then I see there's more in my scab-hole, so I squeeze to get an end and start wrapping more worm around the end of my finger ... and the prayer is over and I get [Bucket] to get me a Kleenex and wrap the flung-to-the-carpet worm and what I've wrapped around my finger into the Kleenex ... and I'm worried that maybe this is just a scab inside my blood vessel from an immunization? Then I realize, as I'm blearing awake that you don't get vaccinations in your elbow-pit.
(Okay, it's safe again.) 
My subconscious has issues.

I don't recall everything about last night's dream ...
Here are the points that I do recall:

  • I was a single, younger (thinner) version of myself.
  • One of my high-school friends was refusing to celebrate Christmas because it's not scientific and was being kind of a jerk about it (wouldn't accept gifts from people, in a slightly abrasive way) ... IRL, he IS a scientist. He's even worked at NASA for a summer and volunteered at OMSI for a bit. But he's pretty cool towards people.
  • My high-school crush-of-crushes was there. He was being aloof. Later he planted a kiss on me (and two other girls) ... even if he hadn't smooched those other girls? ... The kiss was ... extremely lackluster. So, there you go.
  • A woman professor (more adult than the dream-versions of ourselves) got the first friend to be willing to acknowledge the holiday. I was crying and thanking her for saving Christmas.
Yeaaaaaaah. My subconscious is an interesting place.

Okay, I need to get ready to take Bubbles to Musicmakers.
I mostly just want to crawl into bed, read and/or sleep.

Just give me six more months and I can actually do that ... it'll be strange to have all the kids in school. But it'll be kinda cool, too. Errands will be a bit easier. A bit lonelier, too.
I'm sure that I'll manage.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

I'm sure I had a clever title here somewhere ...

So, yeah, my blogging has been totally intermittent (a word which here means "craptastically rare and sporadic").

So, for the last six weeks or so, I've been sick.
It started out with what COULD have been either a sinus infection or allergies.
I tried treating it like either ... meh.
Bubbles ended up getting a bit sick (FEVER TIME!) and I took us to the doctor.
They were pretty sure it was a virus, since that's been going around the WHOLE valley. Fun, fun.
I got myself a moderate Prednisone prescription.
Yeah, no dice.
Went back and got the BIG GUNS of steroids. It helped. A little
Went back and got a refill for my Albuterol inhaler (for when I come down with Bronchitis) ... eh.
Went back, ordered myself a Nebulizer on Amazon ... that helped a little.
Went back, got a Z-Pak ... my sinuses are feeling GREAT now. Still hacking.

And when I say hacking, I'm talking that, if I'm not careful, I easily cough until I trigger my gag reflex. Blarrrghghghgh. Not so fun. I like my tooth enamel. I want it to STAY.

So, went back to the doctor yesterday. Got a second set of x-rays done  ... yeah, there's still some inflammation in my upper airway (not as BAD as it was, but still enough that I'm the QUEEN OF WHEEZING, yo. --- I just took my inhaler about 20 minutes ago. Still wheezing on the exhale. Sometimes I ALSO wheeze on the INHALATION. Yeah, I'm THAT GOOD.)

And I called into the Pulmonary Center this morning. I have myself an appointment for pulmonary testing this afternoon. Go me, right? Is this asthma? (Possible. My mom has it. She was diagnosed at 30. I JUST turned 36, so it's totally possible.) Is it something else? If so, my doctor is wild to know what's up.
(She, like me, wants to know what the chicken is UP in my upper respiratory airway. Let's get this dealt with. ... If I WASN'T going into Pulmonary testing, she'd have prescribed me a steroid inhaler. But, as she said, "I want them to hear THIS ... thing." She's great. I pink, puffy heart my doctor.)

So ... plans for the day?
  • Finish loading the dishwasher. Run that!
  • Do another load of laundry!
  • Get showered and dressed.
  • Take Bubbles to storytime. Hopefully see my friend, S, there.
  • Eat lunch.
  • Grab the blue tablet and take Bubbles to Pulmonary testing with me. (Should take about 90 minutes.)
  • Race home and beat the big kids home from school.
  • Make dinner.
  • Not cough on everyone.
And maybe read some books in the meantime.

I did check with my nurse, when she called with the number for the testing clinic. I'm cleared to be around people (even pregnant ladies). "Just ... don't cough on them."
Me: "Yeah, I try not to cough on anyone, pregnant or not. It's pretty rude otherwise."

Yup, give me my etiquette medal, since I cough in an empty room --- then APOLOGIZE.
(But, since my doctor could hear me (in the patient room) from the hallway, maybe it's not such a bad thing, right?

Okay. Let's get stuff done.

Monday, April 10, 2017

In which I boast of my cleverness ... and come up with a new headcannon for history

It started with this tweet that a friend reposted:

If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission. -- ()

And then, I started writing ...
At the same time, I think it's adorable ... They were VERY CONCERNED. And, apparently, a little too embarrassed to ask any other women (and that's not a terribly bad thing, since everyone's cycle is so individual).
I just picture them, red-faced and shuffling their feet, as they stammer out the question ... fearing that Ms. Ride might be HORRIBLY OFFENDED or TERRIBLY EMBARRASSED. ... And then she starts stifling her imminent snickering. "Yes ... that just might manage to suffice. .... Thank you," she manages around barely-stifled giggles.
She excuses herself. Once she closes the door of the women's washroom, peals and hoots of laughter emanate, magnified by the porcelain and steel acoustics.

The baffled engineers look at each other, bemused in the wake of her laughter.
"Should we have offered 150, do you think?"
She excuses herself. Once she closes the door of the women's washroom, peals and hoots of laughter emanate, magnified by the porcelain and steel acoustics.
The baffled engineers look at each other, bemused in the wake of her laughter."Should we have offered 150, do you think?"One engineer smacks the arm of the one on his left, "Guys, I TOLD you ... 200. ... She probably thinks we're so dumb." 

Hey, it could have happened. And I love to think that THIS is the way it went down.

Monday, February 27, 2017

#52Lists - List 1 - List What Makes You Happy Right Now

Okay, so after being a sadsack for the last year or so, I'm working at NOT being a pathetic sadsack and getting my groove back. I used to be a happier person with more self-confidence, and I'm determined to find that girl again.

So, part of my self-imposed therapy is that I bought a book called 52 Lists for Happiness.
I like making lists. I like happiness. Ergo, this seems like a decent idea, right?

And I might as well get started at some point ... so here I am (FINALLY) with the first list in the book:
List What Makes You Happy Right Now (or, in Church-speak, "Count Your Blessings.")

So, in no particular order, here we go:
  • My husband
  • The gospel of Jesus Christ. I like that we are loved beyond comprehension. And that we're allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. And that love is a basic principle. It's awesome.
  • President Thomas S. Monson, even though I'm worried about how much longer we get to keep him. But he's always got some of the BEST stories. And I'm a sucker for stories.
  • BOOKS. I heart me the written word something fierce.
  • Chocolate.
  • My family. They're pretty awesome.
  • Herbal and Rooibos tea ... pairs perfectly with a book or a historical costume drama.
  • Historical costume dramas.
  • Cats
  • Fennec foxes
  • Quokkas ... They are SO DANG HAPPY!!
  • Platypusses/Platypi ... they're cute.
  • Bunnies
  • Baby animals
  • Chameleons
  • Nail polish ... especially anything with holo glitters. 
  • Rainbows. I like all the colors!
  • Christmas, because everyone works to be just a little NICER and more COMPASSIONATE.
  • Beef stroganoff
  • Mashed potatoes.
  • Cherry cheesecake
  • Hot chocolate (the beverage. But I do also like that one song, "I Believe in Miracles," too.)
  • Fountain pens
  • Office supplies in general
  • The smell of laminating film (see above)
  • The smell of new books
  • The smell of old books.
  • Edward Gorey art (and writing)
  • Lemony Snicket's writing style
  • Fonts (like the handwriting and typography kind. I mean the water-type are cool, too ... but not AS cool to me. No offense if that's what floats your boat. #NoPunIntended #SeeWhatIDidThere)
  • Typography in general ... it's just something that I find aesthetically pleasing. 
  • Spellcheck
  • The Internet (well, not ALL of it, since there's some scary and bad stuff out there. But I do like the parts of it that I deal with. Social media, games, facebook, blogging, finding answers at a moment's notice, family history, ...)
  • Coloring (the feel of a marker or gel pen under your hand? The smell of crayons? The whisper of a colored pencil gliding? It's pretty awesome.)
  • Dancing ... especially when I was in shape.
  • Swimming
  • Lip gloss/lip balm
  • Anime and other cartoons
  • Those massage chairs at some nail salons
  • When my house is clean
  • Having more than 15% free memory on my phone
  • Music
  • Singing
  • When you're pregnant and you can feel your little parasite (I say that lovingly) move inside your uterus.
  • My Sunday School class
  • Relief Society
  • Girls Nights Out
  • Chatting with friends
  • Watching my youngest dance at her ballet class
  • Snuggles with my son
  • Chatting with my daughter
  • Scented markers
  • Naps
I'd put more, but MY SWEET BAYBEES are all awake and LOUDLY getting ready for school, so I can't think of much more around their energetic vocal ministrations. :P

But, hey, it's a start, right?

And a lot more things than those listed above make me happy. Those are just the ones that I thought about first.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

I'm sick *cough couch*

It's actually not QUITE so dire. I mean, yes, I'm the QUEEN OF MUCUS, but I'm on the mend.

But that's what happens when I overdo stuff. I could tell that I was getting overexerted/overscheduled/overstressed. But did I DO anything about it, really? Did I put my foot down and take a couple extra naps?


So I got sick. Boo on that.

It started off as a maybe-allergies, then went into a sinus-thing. Today is the first day that I haven't taken anything besides using my neti pot in the shower (Word to the wise: Don't step in the mucus you've just dislodged out of your head. It's slippery and GROSS.) ... and I'm feeling mostly okay.

I mean, yes, I should have bought stock with Kleenex ... and, since I'm pushing fluids so very much, I feel like all I've really done the last few days is blow my nose, drink water, and PEE (and pee and pee and pee).
Yeah, you're welcome. I know how you LOOOOOOVE that I'm keeping it SO VERY REAL.

I'll blog for real later. My cup of noodles is almost ready.

Counting ...

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