Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Finally ponderizing

I know, it's been a month since General Conference ... but I'm finally doing the right stuff. Well, trying, anyways.

So, I chose  Doctrine and Covenants 6:36 for this week (even BEFORE the kerfuffle about the new Church policy change/clarification occurred).

Doctrine and Covenants 6:36 - "Look unto me in every thought; Doubt not. Fear not."

I will admit that one of the perks of choosing this verse is that it is SHORT. It's not THE shortest verse in the scriptures ... but it's bite-sized, for sure, in length.

And, with how this week has gone, it's been very helpful. Even though we see "through a glass darkly," and we don't understand all the reasonings behind every bit of doctrine and policy, we can know that we will understand it one day. The truth will come. We will understand.

So, we have two choices:

  • Keep moving forward in faith - knowing that God loves ALL his children, but doesn't approve of all our choices; that He has given us loving leaders who hearken to His voice, for the benefit of the Church and the world; that obeying the commandments of God brings us safety and peace.

  • We don't. We think that we know better than an omniscient, loving God ... or the leaders that have been called by the Lord. 
I feel for those whose hearts are conflicted. I feel for those who feel that this new policy is hard. I have compassion for them.

Truly, the main reason why I did not automatically meet the news of this announcement with joy was because I know there are those who would malign our leaders as making this policy change out of spite or bigotry. That people out there could think that we, as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aren't doing this out of love and compassion for those who struggle with the trial of same-sex attraction.

I have friends who identify as straight, lesbian, gay, or bisexual.
Does this mean that I love any of them more or less because of their sexual preference?

(The main reason I like and love people is because of what kind of person they are. I get that everyone is going to sin. Heck, I'm a sinner, too. We all will make different choices. Some will lead us closer to Heavenly Father. Others won't, they'll lead us further away from Him. ... If I decided to only have as friends people who kept the commandments ALL the time, I wouldn't have ANY friends here on earth. We're all in this together. It's our duty to help each other along. It's our duty to show love and compassion to each other. Even when we don't agree.)

Heck, I consider this the same kind of mostly-non-issue as having friends of other religions.
We all have different beliefs and understandings. Dude, even other Latter-day Saints in my WARD (church-speak for congregation) have vastly differing views.
I have friends that are LDS. I have friends that are Catholic. or Baptist. Or Methodist. . Or non-denominational Christian. And there some Christian sects that I haven't even named. I have friends that are atheists. Or agnostics. Or pagan. Or Wiccan. ... I don't know if I have any that are Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist. But I look forward to making friends with them ... because the more that I can learn of their characters and their religions, the better of a person I will be. Not only because I'll have more factual knowledge, of course, but also because I'll be able to better understand THEM and their beliefs and the beauties of the tenants of their faiths.

Just like I appreciate when my friends of differing sexualities help me to learn about and understand them as people. I refuse to pigeon-hole them into their sexuality ... just as I hate to pigeon-hole any of my friends into their race.
It just sounds wrong and belittling to say "my black friend/my lesbian friend/my pagan friend/etc" as if that were the only thing about them.

No, I prefer to think and categorize my friends in better-nuanced ways (i.e., "my friend, L, who teaches theater and I've known since my freshman year of college and we would walk down the main drag of campus saying "little French" and "HORROR" back and forth and had cats named Lucifer and Angel and is hilarious and we joke that we're twins since our first and middle names are so similar and we had tons of fun in German class and she says some of the funniest things and she happens to be black." OR "My friend, H, who I met through blogging and a mutual online friend and she likes cats and she is a powerhouse at working out and she posts some of the most hilarious things on facebook which always makes me smile and laugh and she's just as hilarious when she texts and she wants to be a gangsteeeer when she grows up and I found her doormat for her online and she loved it and actually ordered it which made me feel useful and she's so down-to-earth and seems like the most fun mom/mom-friend ever and she happens to also be a lesbian." OR "My friend, D, who I crushed on my sophomore year of high school and he would insist on carrying my hugely, heavely backpack of doom and he made me the best ever mixed-tape which I still have and he used to have hair like Jareth from Labyrinth and he's very funny and he's a great dad to his girls and I once stabbed him in the leg with a pencil and it left a little scar and he's really forgiven me after I've begged for forgiveness but he loves to rub my nose in it and declares that he'll be telling the  horror story of the ALLANNA when he's in a nursing home to scare the other residents and their families and he's convinced his daughter that he IS Prince Jareth and my friend's daughter that he IS Deadpool and he happens to also be pagan. ... And he and I have some GREAT discussions about religion. He's very well-versed in a lot of mythology that I'm not so knowledgeable about  ... and there are other friends that I have like that.) Yes, there all have differences that I could pigeon-hole these people as, but I really believe that we're all more than just a sum of our parts.

So, love and compassion are what Jesus taught and what I want to emulate.
He also wasn't accepting of sin ... he was compassionate and empathetic to the sinner, of course! ... but, if sin wasn't a big deal, he would never have said, "Go and sin no more."

But he did.
He didn't say, "You do you."
He didn't shun those who sinned or tried to make them feel like crap.
He loved. He led. He showed us how to improve by His perfect example. He gave us a higher law to follow. And part of that was showing love and compassion while eschewing sins. He never promised that it would be easy or feel fair or be easy for us to understand.
So, my goal is to keep the commandments, to do my best to show Christ's love to everyone around me through how I treat them, and to doubt not and fear not.

And that's what I'm going to do my darndest to do.

Monday, November 09, 2015

Rambling Reaction (but not a heat-of-the-moment reaction ... more of a mule-this-over-for-a-bit reaction)

If you've been anywhere around social media during this last weekend, you've heard about the policy changes made by my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

I just need to get a brain dump made ... because I have thoughts. And I deserve a place to write them down.

Before I really start, I want to make it clear that I have friends with many, diverse opinions and lifestyles. And I know that it's my Christian duty to love everyone, regardless of age/sex/orientation/lifestyle/race/religion/whatever. In fact, I consider it an honor and privilege to have the opportunity to have these people in my life (even when I don't always understand their choices). Because, heaven knows, I'm not at all perfect myself. (Seriously, if you think that I am ... well, you're very sweet. And deluded. But I appreciate it. Please be aware that I am SO. VERY. NOT. perfect. I'm a total screw-up. But I'm working at it. Even if I leave myself LOTS of room for improvement.)

Point #1 - God loves ALL His children.
And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things. (1 nephi 11:17) -- See also this pamphlet - God Loveth His Children
He loves us perfectly, eternally, never removing any of His love from us. Jesus loves us. Again, perfectly. He was willing to give His life for us, to suffer more than any mortal being could possibly bear ... because He LOVES us.
Because He loves YOU and ME, He'd have been willing to atone for just a single one of us.
And, through His Atonement, He KNOWS EXACTLY how we feel, how we suffer ... There is nothing we go through that He cannot understand from OUR viewpoint. (And, since, unlike us, He does have a perfect knowledge of things, He understands us better than we understand ourselves.)

I KNOW that God loves ALL His children. ALL of them. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
When we make bad decisions, when we sin, He STILL loves us with a perfect love.
He is steadfast. He does not change.
We are the ones who, through our actions, either remove ourselves from Him or approach Him.

Still, there is NOTHING that we can ever do that would cause Him not to love us. Nothing.
His love is constant and unwavering. Because He is unchangeable. He is eternal.

Point #2 - We are not our temptations. Being tempted is not the same as sinning.
Think about it ... if Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the only perfect being to live on this earth ... if HE was tempted, why shouldn't we -- imperfect as we are -- suffer temptations as well?

Just because someone is tempted or has a proclivity towards a certain behavior that is not in keeping with the gospel, that doesn't mean that s/he is, inherently, a bad person.
If that were true, I'd be completely irredeemable (If I were my main sins, I'd be a gluttonous, slothful, vain, proud lazeabout. These attributes are things I need to work [VERY HARD] to overcome. I'm a work in progress. ... And, for the record, those are NOT my only sins. I've got quite the laundry list to choose from. That's why we have repentance. That's why we have the gospel ...).

We all have moral agency. We have the freedom to choose for ourselves -- to ACT, rather than be acted upon. When we are faced with temptations, we will always have a choice. And, our loving Heavenly Father will always provide a safe way for us to withstand it. If we choose to look for and follow it.
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
And, knowing that we are not perfect, He provided a Savior, Jesus Christ, to come to earth -- to teach us, to atone for us, to die for us -- so that we are able to overcome physical death (through the resurrection) and spiritual death (our separation from God's presence -- through repentance).
Jesus was willing. He chose to come to earth and to atone for us, as a sinless sacrifice, and to die for us.

As it says in one of our hymns (#193 - I Stand All Amazed),
"I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, that He would extend His great love unto such as I, sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify. Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me! Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!"

Truly, it is beyond description ... He loves us so very, very much. And, whenever I think of this ... I don't have the words to state how awed, how grateful I am ... because it is not possible to comprehend that amount of love and compassion.

And Jesus Christ was willing to suffer for ALL our sins. Because He loves us. Because He wants us to ALL be able to return to His/our Father's presence. Because He considers US worthy of such pain, suffering, and sacrifice. EACH OF US. INDIVIDUAL. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Point #3 - God loves us. He wants us to be able to return to His presence. So, not only did He send His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to atone and die for us; He also sends us, from the beginning of time, prophets to help guide us. Our prophets give revelation to the whole Church and the whole world.

"Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets." - Amos 3:7
Because God loves us, we have prophets and other leaders to help guide us, to teach us what we need to know, so we can progress and grow and develop those attributes and character that will help us to become more like our Heavenly Parents.

When we choose to be obedient, to make those sacrifices in our lives so that we can become more like our Heavenly Father, full of love, light, and knowledge, ... well, it's rather obvious that we draw closer to Him. And, by following the commandments that He gives us, through his prophets (both ancient [Moses, Abraham, Jesus, etc] AND modern [Joseph Smith, Jr., continuing through our living prophet today, Thomas S. Monson ... and whoever follows him], we are blessed.

Obedience is founded upon faith. And we are not to follow our leaders blindly ... we, in fact, are COMMANDED (though these same leaders) to seek for personal confirmation, from the Holy Spirit, through personal prayer and scripture study.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me. (Doctrine and Covenants 9:8-9)
I know that when I follow the counsel of our prophet and the apostles, I am blessed. I KNOW this, because I've seen it happen over and over again in my life. I also see that when I make choices contrary to the commandments, I lose the presence of the Holy Spirit and his constant guidance.
Life is (overall) easier when I choose to follow the revelations given to us from God through his prophets.

So you'll understand my sadness over the reactions to the changes in Church policy ... and, truly, they aren't really changes ... CLARIFICATIONS is a better word for this.

The more that I think on this, the more that it is confirmed to me that this clarification of Church policy is for the GOOD of these sweet souls. It is to protect the family, ALL FAMILIES, from contention.

This will help children, especially young children, not to have to deal with very adult/advanced issues of reconciling the fact that their parents are living a life that is contrary to the gospel and eternal progression. (Bear with me on that. I'll explain. Pinkie-swears!) It will allow these children every blessing they have been promised ... it's just delayed.

And, yes, it's quite sad that these sweet souls will have to wait. However, it's just a small matter of time. And they WILL be able to receive those blessings.
And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours. 
And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more. (Doctrine and Covenants 78:18-19)
The Lord is aware of you. The Lord is aware of them. He will hold nothing back from them.
Rather like it's said in The Princess Bride, this policy cannot (indeed, does not) stop these individuals from receiving their promised blessings, it just postpones the delivery for a while.

We will face opposition in this life. Satan is striving to make it hard to tell what is good from what is not. And, I think in this case, he's working overtime.

So, back to the point that I promised to elucidate on ... The plan of salvation, or the plan of happiness. It has both names for a very good reason. Because if we follow the plan, we achieve both those results.


 Here's the plan of salvation, made simple (if you want to read more about it, follow the link in the caption. Courtney Aitken also has a backside for the bookmark FILLED with scriptural references.
You could also ask me. Or another LDS friend that you have. Or the missionaries. Or go to and read about it there ... there's lots of options.

  • Before we were born, we all existed as spirit children of our Heavenly Parents.
    Heavenly Father presented a beautiful plan to us -- one that would allow us to learn, grow, become more like Him, and return to His presence.
    To do this, we would be born in mortal bodies, on earth. We would have the opportunity to learn the commandments, prove ourselves by making good (or poor) choices, and make covenants with Him. 
  • We would have need of a savior, knowing that we would make mistakes and sin.
    Jesus and Lucifer both offered to be that savior.
    Lucifer promised to return EVERY soul to Heavenly Father (which would require negating agency), if he received all the glory.
    Jesus offered to go, allowing us to have our own agency to choose for ourselves, and the glory would go to Heavenly Father (which is fair, since it was His plan, in the first place).
  • Some spirits followed Lucifer and they were cast out -- Lucifer became Satan. Those other souls that followed him were not able to come to earth and get bodies. This is why they are damned -- they made it impossible for themselves to progress (just like a dam stops the flow of water in a river. At least, for the most part. But you get where I'm going with that analogy, right?)
  • Jesus created this world for us. It is a beautiful place.
  • Adam and Eve came here and were placed in the Garden of Eden. They, as we, were made to forget our pre-mortal existence. If we all remembered everything that we knew then, this life wouldn't be a true testing opportunity (and, as it is, what with the scriptures and prophetic counsel and personal revelation, it's quite an open-book test). They were tempted and chose to eat the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. This allowed them to become mortal, which enabled them to fulfill the first commandment of "multiply and replenish the earth."
    Also, just for what it's worth, we honor Eve as being very brave and selfless in this decision. Yes, it was a transgression ... but it was for a noble purpose. And Adam, as our first prophet, is quite worthy of admiration, too.
  • Because of this, "The Fall," as we call it, where Adam and Eve were removed from God's presence (by having to leave the Garden of Eden), which is a spiritual death AND being made mortal (so they would die), we all had need of a savior. (Which we discussed a bit earlier).
  • From the beginning of time, we have been blessed with prophets to help guide us. The Lord gives revelations to the prophets that apply to the whole world and the whole church. He loves us and wants to give us every opportunity to return to Him.
  • Jesus came, in the meridian of time, to live here on earth, teach, serve, atone and die for us. Because of His sacrifices for us, we are able to repent (thus overcoming that spiritual death) and be resurrected (overcoming physical death).
  • After we die, we will go to the spirit world, since our bodies and spirits will be separated (that's what death is). Those who did not have the opportunity to make covenants (baptism, receiving one's endowment, eternal marriage, etc), will have the opportunity to receive them through vicarious work done on earth (These covenants require a body to do them, you see. That's why our church is gung-ho about temple work, since the temple is the only place we can perform this service for those who've passed on). We all will be able to learn more and make some (slower) progress here in the spirit world.
  • We will be resurrected. Our bodies will be immortal bodies, made perfect. (That isn't to say that we'll all be supermodels or bodybuilders ... but we'll have bodies that work perfectly, for sure.)
  • After the resurrection, there will be a final judgement. We'll be judged for our choices (Now, if we've repented, God won't remember those sins. Neither will we). If we're worthy, we will be comfortable and confident in His presence. He will be able to welcome us into His presence.
    If we aren't worthy of his presences, we will go to a lesser kingdom. The Telestial Kingdom is the lowest. It's, pretty much, what we're dealing with here. The Holy Ghost can be here to teach and instruct.
    The Terrestrial Kingdom is better. You have to live a higher law than what's required for the Telestial Kingdom. Jesus will come to minister.
    If you want to receive all the blessings promised, then work to be Celestial Kingdom material. We will be in God's presence. We will be able to be with our eternal families. We will have the ability to progress and reach our overall goal of becoming like our Heavenly Parents.
    To qualify for the Celestial Kingdom, we need a few things:
  1. Faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior
  2. Repentance (We show remorse, make restitution, and work to change our character to overcome these sins that are keeping us from our eternal goals)
  3. Baptism by immersion by the proper authority
  4. Receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost (to, if we are worthy, be our constant companion as a comforter and guide) 
  5. Enduring to the end by following the commandments and keeping the covenants that we make with our Heavenly Father
Yes, it is a trifle difficult to explain it all in one nutshell ... but, of everything in this world, it's the one constant that makes sense (at least to me. Per the 11th Article of Faith, you're free to believe and worship as you see fit. You have the moral agency to do so. We respect that).

But, okay, so we're working to be like Heavenly Father -- He is perfect, has an immortal body, is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving. Pretty awesome goal, right?

Another blessing that we can receive in this journey to become more like him is to have family bonds that are not ended with our deaths (e.g., "til death do you part.").
Through the power of the Melchizedek priesthood, we are able to be sealed to our families with an eternal bond. A husband and wife can be sealed together. Their children can be sealed to them. (If a husband and wife are sealed before their children are born, those children are born in the covenant, already sealed to their parents).
If we keep those covenants that we've made in the temple, we can be together forever as families.

That's the big reason for the Church's support of moral issues, like marriage between one man and one woman.
It's not because we don't love these other people. We do. We're commanded to. And, if we're being Christlike (like we SHOULD be), we WANT to love them ... and to make sure that they know that they're loved, valued, and cherished by our Heavenly parents.

Sadly, we don't know WHY same-sex attraction is given as a trial for some people.
I do know, though, that they are strong, worthy individuals who are capable of withstanding this temptation ... as we are all capable of withstanding being tempted ... through the power of Jesus Christ.
And if they, like we all do sometimes, fold? They are able to repent. Just like the rest of us.
If they choose to enter into a same-sex marriage, that is their choice. However, that marriage cannot be sealed through the Holy Spirit of Promise. It will end with their death ... and I find it terribly sad that they'd put so much time, effort, emotion, and energy into something that cannot be eternal.

Sometimes, our own choices affect more people than just ourselves.
Sometimes, due to our choices, other people will suffer.
This is yet another reason for the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Through the Atonement, ALL wrongs will be made right. All sins will be forgiven. All hurts -- physical, spiritual, and emotional -- will be healed.
Oh, it is wonderful to me.

Will Heavenly Father hold back any blessing from them, if they actively seek those blessings?
Because He LOVES us all.

And, knowing that Heavenly Father loves us, would he send us leaders who would lead the Church to withhold blessings and opportunities due to hate or bigotry?
So I KNOW that there are reasons of love behind this.
Because I KNOW that our prophet and apostles and all our other leaders are working to emulate Christ and His love for all God's children.

Just like how, because I love my children, I'm not going to condone them doing things that will hurt them.
I gave my kids the example of, "What if we bought a motorcycle? Are you allowed to ride it by yourself?"
"What if you did ride it by yourself? What would happen?"
"We'd get in trouble."
"Would it make sense for us to get rid of the motorcycle ... especially while you weren't allowed to ride it by yourself?"
"Would that be because we're being mean?"
"Well ... no, not really."
"Then why would we take it away?"
"So that we couldn't get in trouble."

Just like how, when an individual is excommunicated from the Church, it's NOT because the leaders are wanting to be mean ... it's to allow the person to either continue the problematic choices without being under greater condemnation from the Lord for breaking (and continuing to break) covenants -OR- to allow the person to repent while protecting himself/herself from bigger punishments.

Does that sound like it's something done out of hate? Or a plan from a loving Heavenly Father through loving leaders?

To me, it's definitely the second. Because, even when a person is excommunicated or disfellowshipped, we have every hope and desire for them to return. We love and watch and wait. If they CHOOSE to repent and return, we rejoice. If they don't, we just love them while maintaining our standards and not condoning their actions.
Because we are all worthy of love.

Because Heavenly Father loves us all.

And because I KNOW that He loves us, I know that He would never do something just for the sole reason of hurting people. He will ask hard things of us, just like our earthly parents ask us to do things we'd rather not do (take out the trash/clean our rooms/etc) -- like we ask our kids to do ... because we know that it's (1) important for them to learn and/or (2) it's to help them develop into something better than they were.

I also know that, if ever it should occur that a prophet were to cause God's church to be led astray, He would TAKE THAT PROPHET OUT. And, there's the fact that this matter was discussed and agreed upon unanimously among 15 apostles and prophets. Do you know HOW HARD it is for even similar-minded people to agree completely? ...

Yes, my heart hurts for those who find this news hard to bear. I wish I had a way to make it so that they automatically felt loved and supported enough to wade through any doubts.

Still, regardless of this sorrow, I will not support those who try to tell me that this is an evil move, that our leaders are uninspired ... because everything points to the contrary.

The Family Proclamation was delivered just over 20 year ago. It is Church doctrine. It has not and will not change.

That doesn't mean that we are not under commandment to love everyone. Because we ARE.
But, if we choose to be politically-correct to the point where we eschew the teachings of God, given through His servants, we are putting ourselves (and those we influence) in danger.

So, TL;DR:
  • The commandment to love everyone still stands. 
  • We don't have to agree on everyone's actions. 
  • I choose to support President Thomas S. Monson, our prophet, and the other God-appointed leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as I have raised my arm to show my support. It makes me most sad when I hear/read others maligning our leaders for not bowing down to the demands of the world/being politically correct ... as if they really had a choice to do otherwise.
  • I do not understand all things. But I will keep my covenants, because they are precious to me.
    I have too much to lose, otherwise. I treasure the fact that my family can be together forever.
  • I wish that I could ensure that all God's children, my spirit brothers and sisters, received those blessings that come from making and keeping covenants with the Lord. Because they bring more than happiness -- they bring JOY. In this life and in the life to come. 
  • And I want the best for you all. Because I do love you.
  • If you desire those blessings, they CAN be yours, too. They may be delayed, but never denied. And you will be blessed for your patience. Because our Heavenly Father loves you.
    And it WILL be worth every struggle. 

If you have questions or if I need to better explain things in the rambling, oh-so-very-long post, please let me know.

Tuesday, November 03, 2015

Crazy Dream Chronicle: Memoriam Sweater

A couple nights ago, I dreamed.

And it was a strange dream (obvs, since I remembered it, right?) ... In it, I was at my mom's house-but-not ... and we were doing laundry. LOTS of laundry [Art imitates life imitating art, yes?].

And ... well, we needed to get a sweater washed and dried. For my friend's brother. Because he was sick. Like bad cold/fevered/stuck in bed shivering-type sick.

In real life, he was murdered back in 2007. Both the boys who killed him are in prison (sentenced for life, but up for parole after 25 years ... so, in another 15-16 years or so).


But, in my dream, he was alive.
I wasn't the closest of friends with him.

He was the first guy (besides one of the sons of a lady who watched me when I was little ... and he doesn't count) to ask me out.

I was too young ... and I knew that it wouldn't be fair to date someone I wasn't really into (Should have remembered THAT when I started dating my first boyfriend. But, well, that would have been SMART. And I wasn't really being super-intelligent right then. *sigh*).

I mean, if I had been his girlfriend, I'd have gotten a nice macaroni necklace ...

Again, not a good enough reason to be someone's junior-high girlfriend.


The worst thing about living is outliving other people.
Especially people who go so early.

I mean, I know that there are reasons ... reasons we don't understand ... and that by enduring these things, we learn and grow and all ...

... but it doesn't make it any less sucky, really.

His poor family, though. They took it really hard. Not that I can blame them. There were only the four of them ... and Kevin disappeared ... and was found murdered.
He and his sister, my friend, were quite close ... so it was even more devastating.

I remember when he went missing. She called (she was stationed out of state) ... and she was pretty panicked. I did my best to calm her down ... and I hoped and prayed that maybe he was just being horribly irresponsible and just headed off to Vegas or something on a wild hair and just forgot to call anyone ...

... That would have been a million times better, really. His cat would have forgiven him. So would the rest of us. Because doing something selfish and a little stupid would have been so much better.

But, yeah. So, he was in my dream. And I was scuttling about, trying to help find that sweater ... or to get it washed and dried if it wasn't already.

... It's strange to think of how many people from my high school that I've outlived. Since I'm not horribly old. Yet.
But, at the same time, it's ... sad ... to know of so many people who've been murdered, who've committed suicide, or who died in car crashes.

I suppose it's not too surprising that I think about these things ... since (1) I'm kinda morbid anyways and [evidence: fan of The Walking Dead, reads Stephen King, enjoys creepypasta, etc.] (2) we did just get through Halloween and Dia de los Muertos.

I remember reading an article about how we keep the dead with us ... how we think of them and remember them ... so that they are still around, still affecting us ... It's a comforting thought.

And there's another article I read about how we keep memorials and objects to remind us of those who've passed ... like how I have a lot of my Grandma's books and jewelry ... and how I treasure some of the jewelry that my mom's stepmom passed on to me as presents from her collection before she passed. Or how I have a journal of my Pop-pop (and, apparently, journaling skills ... or, really, the lack thereof, IS a family trait. :P) ... and how I find it very hard to part with things that folks give me after they're no longer around (like a pull-up bar that Michael's grandfolks gave us. We don't use it often ... but I hate the idea of not having is because it was Grandpa C's).

And here I am, surrounded by clutter (of my own devising ... well, with some help from the munchkin-brigade. LOTS of help from the munchkin-brigade) and half-sick of shadows.

Still, I really don't like losing people. Not only temporarily ... and I know that death is just this temporary thing. But I still dislike that separation.
There are times when I miss my Grandma or Pop-pop or Grandpa C so hard that it feels like a blow to the gut ... and I'd give just about anything to be able to hear their voices and have a conversation with them again.

I don't know why I take this separation so dang hard ... you'd think I had abandonment issues or something (which would explain that ... but I don't really have anything to pin that on, besides my parents' not-very-messy divorce. Truly, my childhood was pretty idyllic).

I don't know how much or how often those have passed get to observe the living ... but, sometimes, I'll chat a little at Pop-pop or Grandma D or a friend who've passed. I'm sure they don't mind that I remember them and are thinking of them and miss them bunches.

If they talk back, I don't really hear it. But it comforts me ... and that's reason enough, right?
Cheaper and less harmful than drugs.

Yeah, you usually don't get such an introspective and maudlin post from me, the queen of levity ... but, well, there you go.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

MOAR crazy Dream Chronicles! Lucky you!

Yeah, I'm only remembering bits and pieces of my dreams ... but they're sure ... special.

The other night, in my dream, I started out with Bubbles and I driving around a college campus (could have been my alma mater, but it was MUCH larger). And they'd moved the mailboxes OUTSIDE the building. And I had a key that fit ... so I was all, "Hey, I could always have stuff shipped here and pick it up for free!" (Must have been a holdover from reading Ready Player One with Michael.)

THEN, the other part of my dream had me as, like, idk, an adjunct professor ... but I had finished up my term, so I was going to be leaving.
And the building we were in was haunted. By this TALL, strapping, red-headed Viking of a ghost. And he got one of the other professors to jump off the building (her red tartan-print dressed, broken body was still on the pavement below). And I was leaving the building and he took this goodbye-present handleless mug of mine and BROKE it. (Not that it was a huge deal. Since we have a BAZILLION mugs [who doesn't?] AND it wasn't my style anyways.) But I was irked by the PRINCIPLE of the thing. Ill-mannered, murdering ghost.

LAST night's dream was ... odd ... because, OF COURSE it was.

So, here's the deal. IRL, I have written a skit for my son's Cub Scout group. And, since last meeting was passing out flyers for a food drive (they ended up collecting over 100lbs of food!), there was NOT time to even have the boys read the script.

SO, TOMORROW, his den is meeting early so I can (1) pass out scripts, (2) assign roles, (3) have the boys run through it a couple times, and (4) go soak my head.
Mostly kidding on that last one. But I haven't had much practice directing things. I usually just act or sing. Or help with props/makeup/costuming (but not so much on that LAST one in THAT list).

I'm just hoping that it'll go well and that we'll HAVE five boys to play all the parts ... if not, well, It could end up being a Bruise production with starring roles from his Scout leaders, parents, and twin sister. We'll see ... But, apparently, I'm a little worried about the whole thing ...

So, in my dream, one of our past sister missionaries was throwing a huge dramatic spectacle. And, last minute, I was given a script. I didn't have my lines down at all ... and I hadn't really even had time to read over my part(s). And there was some serious swear words ... so I'm taking liberties and editing them out ... because (1) swearing is something that I've worked VERY HARD to not do nearly so much (Srsly, y'all -- my sophomore year of high school, I was SUCH a potty-mouth. Sailors and truckers would have blanched. So my use of "craps," "damns," and "hells" is a TOTAL improvement. Just so you know.) and (2) IT WAS AT CHURCH. You can't say scatalogical terms of THAT kind at church. Because that's Jesus's house.

And then, the other scene I was in, I dropped my script and LOST MY PLACE and couldn't find it ... and so I was having to make up lyrics to some rock song that I'd only caught a wee glimpse of ... so I'm writhing on the floor, turning in horizontal circles on my back, mic in hand, as I try to channel Freddie Mercury at his glammest and maybe a soupรงon of Stevie Nicks, as I'm MAKING UP LYRICS and hoping that the returned sister missionary won't be too put out that I'm ruining her script.

Okay, so I can get that maybe that rock-star element of my dream is because on Facebook folks were complimenting my Jem! costume from around six years ago. My wig and makeup were awesome, if I do say so myself ... the rest of the costume could have gone better.
If I make it again, I know a lot of things to improve.
But it's not going to be this year, since there's only a few days until Halloween. And I don't have a costume at all. *sigh* I don't even know what to attempt to dress as.

In other non-dream-related news, I've passed sixth-grade math on Khan Academy. I did a load of dishes. We had soup for dinner last night. We went to the library's Halloween shindig (and ran into Michael's cousin and his family there ^_^). And I sent a Facebook message to the (ex?) friend who had unfriended me.
I let her know that I noticed we weren't Facebook friends anymore. And that I understood that it could be a glitch (not terribly likely) or that it could have not. But that I wished the best for her, even if that meant that I wasn't friends with her anymore. And that if there had been anything that I had done or said that had hurt or offended her, that it wasn't done purposefully ... and that I was sorry if I had hurt or offended her.

As my mom said, either she'll respond to it or not. And, if she writes back, there's an answer. If she doesn't, there's another answer.

The ball is in her court. And that's ... a little ... nerve-wracking. But, well, it felt insincere to pretend that I didn't notice the change in our friendship. I get that people grow apart ... but, well, when you've been really tight friends, it seems more direct to let the other person know that you're choosing to unfriend them. It'd be kind to let them know why ... even a "we've grown apart" or something.
I've unfriended some folks on facebook ... but they were (pretty much) strangers who we had friended each other for facebook games that I wasn't playing anymore. That's a bit different, right?

I've almost got Bruise's shirt done for Halloween. It's the main part of his costume (the rest is a certain pair of jeans (I should make sure those are in the wash) and trainers). I should make a clasp for Bucket's cloak. Bubbles's costume is all storebought ... and, well, we did pick up about the perfect pair of Crocs for her to wear with it (SPARKLY TEAL, Y'ALL. TEAL. AND SPARKLES. Can you tell that I'm a little jealous?), so her's is all taken care of.

So, yeah. I should check on Bruise's shirt ... do the last bits of paint on it. Get a shower. Do more laundry. Drink a buttload of water (doing this week-long water challenge. Michael's doing it, too. We're only drinking water as our beverage this week. And we're SUPPOSED to be drinking (bodyweight/2) in ounces. ... This is the third day in ... and man I suck at drinking enough water. Sunday, got nearly 3/4 of the suggested amount. Yesterday, I didn't even get one-third. *sigh*).

And I'm working at getting through library books ... physical AND online (Overdrive is a great app. you can use it to read books [e-books or audiobooks] on your phone or tablet, borrowed through your library ... well, if your library is part of it. Or, you could do the free ones that are available to everyone and don't count against how many books you can check out. You're limited to six holds at a time ... and TWO hold came in within a day of each other. And you only get them for 14 days. *sigh* I mean, you can check them out again, if there's not a hold on them, of course .....)

But, yeah. Busy girl.
Who also needs to read her scriptures and plan her lesson (which HOPEFULLY won't be observed by the STAKE PRESIDENT next week. Don't get me wrong, I love our Stake President ... but, well, that's a little stressful to be observed. Especially when I COULD AND SHOULD have been a bit better prepared ... and, bless them, but my class was VERY excitable. So it was interesting making sure that we focused and refocused their attention on the topic of showing Christlike love to others. But I was able to tell them about how the Young Women Theme, this month's Relief Society lesson, and the overall goal of "The Power of Everyday Missionaries" all integrate that theme ... and they had some great insights. And we discussed sharing our beliefs with others and HOW to do it best and HOW to show others, through our actions and words, how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love them ... and President C did say that I did a great job, so it was a good lesson ... but a little stressful. ^_^) ... among another billion things that I should get done.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Dream Resolution (I originally wrote "Resolution Dream," but this ordering makes it sound more like Revolutionary Girl Utena. And you should always go for that. If you're me, at least.)

Last night, I dreamed again.

I was in some play/theatrical thing ... maybe something Shakespearian.

It was, apparently, some sort of presentation ...

But I was in it with another guy and girl.

I remember at one point thinking, "Oh! I should take off my [wedding] ring, since my character's not married. Whoops!"

And... something happened where EVERYONE, cast and audience, had to go out into the foyer.

I found myself standing next to, among the throng of people milling about, that friend who unfriended me on Facebook.

"Hi," I said to her.

She didn't really respond, but she did look at me.

"Hey," I said. "I don't know what I did that hurt you so much. But, whatever I did that I did that offended you and hurt you so badly, I want to apologize for it. I've never meant to hurt you. I love you and I want you to be happy. And I get that it might mean that I'm not a part of your life. But I do want to tell you that I'm sorry."

And she let me hug her. And we stood next to each other in the shoulder-to-shoulder line that was being formed.

And I feel more peaceful.
I wonder if I should send her a message ... just so that she knows that I don't really know what I've done ... but that I never have meant to cause her any pain. And, if I've done that, I never did it on purpose and I'm sorry that I took actions that ever caused her suffering.

I get that maybe she does need more time.
And that, very possibly, she'll never want to be as close as we used to be.
But I think that I'm ... okay ... again.

It never feels "good" or anything when you have someone turn from a BFF/sister-of-the-heart into someone-that-I-used-to-know. And, regardless of how another friend described the situation, I can't think of this (ex?-)friend as a frenemy ...

In other, completely unrelated news, I sewed a cloak for Bucket's Halloween costume. ALL BY MYSELF.

YES, I SHOULD have lined  it, hemmed it, whatever ... but it's made of felt and she wasn't picky.
And it's done.

Michael and I still need to finish Bruise's shirt for his costume ... that'll take some time and energy. At least we bought everything we'll need.

I'll need to make the clasp to hold Bucket's cloak closed. But, hey, at least Bubble's costume is all done. I even found a little stuffed animal for her to carry around with it, to complete her costume. Phew!

Okay, I should go take Bucket to her violin class soon.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Sittin' in mah robe, yeah ... so, so classy

What, what? I'm blogging without at least a WEEK going by between posts?!??

Craaaaazy-sauce ...

So, I blogged last on, what, Friday?

There hasn't been tons of stuff since then, really.

But I figured that I should blog.
My dreams are starting to get back to "normal" levels of weird (Thanks, Mother Nature! Glad to see you headed off again! Between the acne, insomnia, irrational emotions, and the CRAZY-BUTT dreams, I'm always glad when I return to not having a uterus that's sloughing off that layer. ... Of course, funny (TMI) thing: for a couple years, when they kids would ask what was wrong and I'd tell them that I was on my period, Bucket would crow, "You're PREGNANT?!???" "NO. NO. NOT pregnant. The opposite." And then I'd have to give them a pared-down (but still slightly-horrifying-if-you-think-about-it) version of what exactly goes on in a woman's uterus.

Yes, I've been pretty upfront with my kids about their bodies. I haven't yet gone through the DETAILS of sexytimes or anything (I refer to it, when talking to them, as "sex or sexual intimacy"). ... because, well, I'd rather that they ask me for THAT INFO when they're ready to hear it.

(Says the girl who read the encyclopedia entry about sex when she was six. "Mom, did you know the encyclopedia has bad words in it?!?? They say "penis" and "vagina!" ... Yeah, there's another reason why I use the clinical terms (mostly) when dealing with body parts. Don't get me wrong, I say butt and "frontbottom" and "dainty bits" and "boobs" and all that, too. but I make sure that my offspring are aware what things are really called.)

So, yes, my kids have heard (yes, even Bruise) the info that women have a layer of blood that lines the uterus JUST IN CASE an egg is fertilized, so it can implant and turn into a baby.

In other things I talk to my kids about -- we've talked about pornography (and avoiding it. Or what to do when they DO come across it), homosexuality (and that people who are gay or lesbian are still children of God and we need to love THEM. We don't have to approve of anyone's ACTIONS, but we are all more than our actions, so just freaking love everyone, OKAY?!?? ... Seriously, I don't get how folks do anything else. Weirdos ... who obvs need more hugs.), gun safety, sexual abuse (i.e., don't let people touch you against your will. And, if they do, TELL US. Daddy and I will ENSURE that they are dealt with. In a way that we won't end up in prison. And that their doctor will need to check out their private parts, but that if it makes them really uncomfortable, speak up. And, if anyone DOES ever do something, that's on THEM. It's not the survivor's fault. Seriously. Look in the Handbook for the Church. And, no matter what, you're never so far gone that the Atonement cannot help/heal you. Use it. And we'll still love you no matter what.), and abortion (We believe that it's taking a life. But there are a few times when it could be permissible [mother's or baby's life in peril OR due to rape/incest, which would be because someone overpowered the now-mother's agency ... Don't do it as a convenience because one wants to avoid consequences for one's choice -- that also counts for the guy who impregnates a woman. If you can't handle being a dad, don't ... ahem ... go through the motions. Get it? If you're not ready to be a mom, make another choice. Go play mini-golf or something. Because there's no birth control (other than abstinence) that's 100% effective. ... But, if you find yourself pregnant, there's support and help. Things happen. And it's not like anyone can get pregnant on their own. So we should all be a little more understanding. Everyone should understand that because there ain't NO ONE on earth right now who IS perfect. ...)

Okay, SO, that's a lot more than anyone really cared to know about my mothering methods.

But, yeah, I guess I should outline my main parenting goals:
  1. Raise self-sufficient offspring:
    My kids need to know not just how to pass tests and binge-watch Netflix, but how to run a house, create and stick to a budget, cook, clean, schedule a doctor/dentist visit, and deal with the myriad emergencies that life will send them.
  2. Raise spiritually-prepared offspring:
    They will need to have their OWN testimony and to be able to feel and recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I'd prefer that they learn from the mistakes of all who've gone before them so that they don't have to learn all the hard life's lessons on their own.
  3. Raise offspring who know where to go for answers:
    Let's face it, I know that I'm not always going to be around. And, heck, I don't know even HALF of the answers. (Heck, I hardly even know the QUESTIONS in the first place.)
    I want Bruise, Bucket, Bubbles (and and others who may ever come along, if there ARE any) to know HOW to research and find information. And, for what they can't find on The Google, I want them to know how to research in BOOKS and through PRAYER and by asking OTHER PEOPLE for advice ... and to be able to compile it all to find the best answer for them.
  4. Raise well-adjusted offspring:
    I know, when they come from such odd folks as their dad and me, this is a challenge.
    But my goal is that they can be COMPASSIONATE and caring and kind; that they can handle when life isn't always fun or easy.
  5. Raise good citizens:
    If there's a bad law, I want them to go about peacefully and lawfully to make the changes that need to happen. I want them to be involved and to know what's going on -- so they CAN help be a force for good. I want them to have a desire to (and the motivation to carry it out) help others. 
  6. Raise joyful offspring:
    I want them to be able to appreciate the good things, to have that attitude of gratitude. I want them to be able to find joy and peace in everyday things, to find CONTENTMENT. I want them to be able to see the beauty in a sunset, the waves of the ocean, a baby's laugh ... and to be able to share that happiness with all whom they come in contact with.
  7. And I want them to use good grammar, too. And have marketable skills. And to only have the barest amount of sorrow that will allow them to recognize joy, the merest modicum of stress, fear, and anger so they can KNOW when they have peace ...
  8. I want them to have cars that never break down, a bank account that covers all their needs without any overdrafts or debt, bodies that always work as desired and fit into whatever fashions they like best COMFORTABLY, a house where others are glad to gather, friends who are always loyal and honest, AND A PONY (or whatever else they want).
Yeah, I don't care if they're doctors or Nobel Prize winners ... but I want them to be happy, healthy, kind, intelligent, content, wise ... If they all want to be circus performers, that's fine, as long as they can all make enough to support themselves and their families (and maybe their parents ... in the lifestyle in which we'd like to become accustomed, ha ha ha).

Okay, I've blathered on about mostly nothing for long enough.
I should go get more laundry done, clean the hall bathroom and the kitchen (don't worry, I'll wash my hands between those two!), get a shower, read a book, and a million other things that all should BE done. Good times, right?

Friday, October 16, 2015

Some better excuses (for lack of posts) ...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's been DAYS (over a week!) since I last posted.

And here will be my litany of (semi-rubbish) reasons ... or, in other words, my regular kind of post.

So, since I last posted ...

  • I've been keeping up with Duolingo, Khan Academy,, and a bit of Rosetta Stone.
  • I've NOT been keeping up with a habit of reading scriptures ON PURPOSE, definite sincere prayers, writing in my prayer journal, or much of anything spiritual. I mean, I'm TRYING ... but when I fall off the wagon, it takes me a little to get caught back up. #SucksToBeMe
    But I'm going to get back on board.
  • I got caught up with the dishes. For, like, a day.
  • I started doing laundry again. Just in time, since guess who ran out of underthings?
    ... Well, it WOULD have been me, but thank goodness I did laundry!
  • I got to go up and hang with my Sis, Roxy (We call each other "sis," not because we're biologically or legally related, but because we KNOW that, deep down, we HAVE to be family. I mean, really, there's no other explanation for how weird we both are. Which is only compounded when he hang together -- even just chatting on Facebook. It's special. So very, very special.). We went to Powell's and bought books. Then we went to her favorite comic book store and I found the Jem and the Holograms Outrageous Annual. Then we went to eat Thai food. Bubbles was pretty well-behaved. There was one little breakdown when I didn't buy her LEGO or DUPLO, but it wasn't a full-blown tantrum. And she was VERY collected when, as we were driving (slowly), her door slid open. Yup, good times.
    It'd been a while since Roxy and I had been able to hang out. And it's always wonderful to spend time with her.
    On the way home, though, Bubbles had me sing "Tomorrow" (from Annie) about a million times ... and, eventually, she fell asleep for her much-needed (but rather short) nap. It was a good day.
  • I got to take Bubbles to a birthday party for one of her friends from church. It was very fun.
    Bubbles is eager to go back for a playdate soon.
  • PTC (Parent-Teacher Club) was moved up a day (Unfortunately, not all the parents got the message. Whoops!) and I took notes there.
  • Bubbles and I made it to storytime at the library TWICE this week.
  • My Visiting Teaching companion and I visited two sisters yesterday. It's always great to get to talk to them. (Yes, Bubbles was good for them. It helps when she plays on my phone. Ha ha.)
  • My Mom came up to visit yesterday. And that was good. I taught her some basics in editing a PDF file.
  • Bruise decided to switch from the cello to the violin. He actually practiced yesterday! and it'll be easier for him to transport on the bus (Let's face it, the 1/2-size cello is still nearly as tall as he is.)
  • Bucket got a comb stuck in her hair last night. (LESSON: Don't comb your hair in bed in the dark. Please?) We got it out without her losing much hair.
  • I finished some books. (And I started to take advantage of the fact that my Goodreads app on my phone lets you find (most) books by scanning their barcode.)
This morning, I called the school to let them know that Michael and I will pick up the kids after school (we're going to the pumpkin patch) ... and I got an answer that I'd emailed about yesterday
(long story short: I'd like to volunteer to help out with an upcoming fundraiser during school hours. I had to go to three people to find out if it'd be cool if Bubbles tagged along. Yes. THEN I needed to know what time Bruise and Bucket would be participating, since I'd PREFER to be there at that time. SO, I emailed and asked when [different animal groups, since that's how we keep track of the bilingual groups, since they have TWO teachers, from DIFFERENT continent ... which would be the grade that Bruise and Bucket were in LAST year] had specials (Music/P.E./Technology) ... It wasn't until about five hours later, I was standing in the middle of Fred Meyer and it hit me ... I HAD ASKED ABOUT A DIFFERENT GRADE'S SPECIALS. Whoops. ... So I had to send ANOTHER EMAIL to the gal, apologizing that I'm a complete dork and that I really DO know what grade my kids are in ... and she laughed and gave me the RIGHT time for MY kids' groups. *headdesk*)

And, with that in mind, it was great when the School-Family Liaison (who's a wonderful lady and the other gal's mom, by-the-by) asked me, "So, I'll be seeing you here at school today, then?"

 "Um, I wasn't planning on being there ... why?"

"It's the Jog-a-thon."

"I thought that was on the 30th. Isn't it?"

Then we both had a tense second where we glanced at our calendars and wondered, "What day is it? WHAT WEEK IS IT?!??" And we both started laughing.
Yeah, it's been a bit of a crazy month, so, yeah.

And I'm glad that I'm not expected at school today, since I'm still not showered or dressed.

I keep having really strange dreams.

Wednesday night, I had a two-parter ... I don't recall the other part as much. Mostly a bit surreal. A friend of the family announced that she and her husband were getting a divorce. And it was shocking, since they're both much older. But she assured me that it was fine. "We haven't done much stuff together for years. ... Besides, he'll be dead soon, anyways." O.o (No, that's so not the case in real life.)
But in the MAIN part, Michael told me that he wanted a divorce. And I spent (in my dream) most of the day in a sad funk ... then I finally knelt next to him as he sat in the green chair and tried to address him very seriously, which was hard since he had multiple cotton swabs stuck in his ears and nose (he took them out in a bit, though). And he reconsidered ... because it'd be too hard to pack up all our stuff ... and told me that he'd just been under a lot of stress lately. And we were cool again.

But, in real life, he did have to put up with me asking multiple times, "We're cool, right? You don't want a divorce, right? Because you'd tell me if you were unhappy, RIGHT?!??"

"We're cool. And maybe you should avoid Chinese food before bed. That dream sounded stranger than usual."
(See? He's totes used to my wacko dreams.)

Last night, I endured some crazy dreams, too.
In one, I was a teenager-y babysitter for a lot of kids. And I woke up (in my dream) to find that one front-section of my hair was about six inches shorter than the rest ... and sticking straight out to the side. The rest of my lock was lying on the bathroom counter. (I blame Bucket's comb adventure for that.) ... But I wasn't worried when I woke up, because my hair in my dream was a different color (a medium dark brown).

The other part of my dream was that I was in a hospital/compound-type area, carrying around my (huge, even in real life) purse, and I had to decide whether I was going to desert it (and whether I could chance taking my little, injured (maybe comatose) sister with me when I did ... or would I get caught). And there were people turning into zombies or something. And a lot had their hands cut off, but not the blades on them ... (which dream element is from a factoid that I read from a friend's feed on facebook about this Native American who, in the 1500s, had his hands cut off by the Spaniards ... so, when they came back, he led an army against them, with blades tied to his arms. Hard core, right? ... his name's Galvarino (lots of language in the write-up, be warned), by the by).

But, yeah, it wasn't the most relaxing of dreams.

I'm still trying to deal with the fact that I was unfriended by such a close friend ... but, well, obviously, I was more invested ... and I cognitively know that it's more of a reflection on her than of me. But, drat it if I don't miss her.
And I don't want to block her on Facebook, but it's ... really sad when I see that she's commenting a LOT more lately on posts of mutual friends.

But, yeah. If that's the worst thing that's gone on, I'm sure that I'll get over it. Eventually.

Oh! In happy-making, when I was at Powell's, not only did I find books to buy (like that was a worry. No, it wasn't), but I also found the violet-flavored mints and gum that I'd been really wanting to try ... AND they had some more of the LEGO Movie character keychains ... so I picked up UniKitty in her spacesuit (I already have angy UniKitty and BiznisKitty ... I did ALMOST pick up the seasick UniKitty one, but ... SPACESHIP!!!).
And, when you touch UniKitty's face, her horn will light up. So, when I went to make sure that Space UniKitty's horn works, I was a little shocked (in a good way) that HER HORN LIGHTS UP BLUE!!!

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

But, yeah, that's most of what's all gone on lately.

Counting ...

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