A little resolution

Not a ton of resolution ... but SOME.

I got a shower. Still haven't done the dishes yet. Or made dinner.

The young man? He's opened his eyes. They're just waiting for his vital organs to stabilize.
But it's been a good day ... He seems to be getting stronger ... Good to know that our prayers are having a good effect.

Also, one of the girls that I know from my home ward (I've actually known her since she was a baby. She's the youngest girl in a family we're friends with) ... she had an emergency C-section when her son was only about 32 weeks along. She's healing well ... and even though it's only been about two weeks, he's almost strong enough/big enough to come home with his parents! That's some wonderful news.
(Now, if you want to whisper some prayers/send good thoughts or whatever that her milk supply will come in, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Don't worry about names ... the Lord knows who she is. ^_^)

But it's nice to have some good things. Some VERY good things .. to report.

If I had a clever title, I'd use it ...

I am feeling ... mood-swing-y.

Bruise is a student of the month.
YAY!
His card got turned. And it sounds like the substitute turned it without giving a warning (which is what is SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN in Kindergarten) for a single incident which wasn't really his fault.
So he's upset that he was accused of playing around in the bathroom at school when a boy from church and his friend were talking to Bruise.

And that makes me sad.
Especially since Bruise and Bucket's main teacher didn't have a chance to talk to the substitute, so we don't know if there's more to the story. But BOTH Bruise and Bucket maintain that there's NOTHING more. That there were no warnings and that Bruise hadn't misbehaved at all in any other way. So it should have been JUST a warning and not turning his card. But there's really nothing to be done about it. Which makes me sad. My kiddos are SIX ... the world should still be FAIR and NICE. ... But the fact is that it's often not. Which brings me to the next point:

There's a boy at church (he's 15) who is up at OHSU in the ICU for severe hypothermia. He was in the Willamette River for about an hour (the river was around 43-44 degrees F) ... His temperature upon getting to the local hospital was around 76 degrees. His heart had stopped.
We've been praying. A lot. The ward had a fast yesterday.
He's doing better. The doctors did two surgeries on him. They've cut down on the medication that was keeping him unconscious. He's able to wiggle his fingers and toes and nod "yes" or "no." Which is a good thing.
We're just hoping that he's able to heal as quickly as can be. And that there won't be any long-lasting effects.

BabyGirl's bed is set up. Now to get the clothes out and sorted (and find a place to store them!). It'd be good if I got a nice diaper bag. But it's not a huge deal right yet. About 30 more days until she comes... if she follows my schedule.

Monistat 7 is one of my new besties. Living with an undiagnosed yeast infection? NOT FUN. Especially when it's gone on for WEEKS. I'm on my second day of treatment (of, naturally, a week) ... and while there's still SOME itching and discomfort, I was actually able to SLEEP pretty much ALL through the night. That was a NICE CHANGE THERE.

Still have heartburn. Which isn't fun. But I should just get up and take a fake-Zantac.

Got my Visiting Teaching done. Mostly through email ... but it's done. So I don't feel like I'm neglecting my poor, poor sisters at church.

BabyGirl is moving around a LOT. Even with some bleeding (from my stupid Nabothian cyst this last weekend ... For some reason, it just gets annoyed and bleeds a little. Which freaked me out during the last pregnancy. At least, now I know what's going on. And it's really sporadic and random.) and the nastiness that is my yeast infection. It's good to know for sure that she's healthy.

But, yeah ... with how much I'm worried about the boy at church ... I just feel SAD.
And then poor Bruise, having to deal with the injustices of the world. It just really, really sucks. And I want to just go sit in the shower or curl up in bed and cry.

But, before I do that, I need to do another load of dishes and make dinner or something.
And deal with the fact that, since Michael has class, I'm pulling this off all by myself until about 9 tonight.
Can I just live in denial about being the ONE parent here for the next few hours?

I mean, I'll feel better in a bit.
The kids don't have homework this week.
I need to take some pictures for a project at school. Then I need to print them off.
I should buy some photo paper for that.
I should set up an appointment for a gel pedicure.
After this week, I should also set up another waxing appointment.
And get a haircut.
Or, maybe I should save the haircut until after BabyGirl is born. This way, I can have cute shorter hair in family photographs or something.

I should also clean up the house ... but I just don't want to get UP and DO things right yet.
And I am not in such dire conditions that I want anyone ELSE to be doing it.
I mean, if I were on bed rest ... WHICH BETTER DANG NOT HAPPEN THIS TIME ... that'd be one thing. But I don't want it to happen. AT ALL.

Still ... I just want things to be happy and nice and better.

Did I mention that my son is going to be a student of the month? That's a good thing ... he's been wanting to be since his sister was a few months ago. And he was despairing of EVER getting to be a student of the month ... so that's a very nice thing.

I still just want to curl up and hibernate ... for a couple hours at least.
I'll be better ... probably tomorrow or so. Most likely tomorrow. I'll have my mom here. It's easier to be happy when my mom's here to chat with.

Day 30 - Your favorite song

WHAT??

Like I have ONE favorite song?

Ugh. Whatever.
And I can't be bothered to go through lists right yet (Sorry, between the heartburn and the ... other burning ... stupid infection, I could really not care much less about this).

Um ... Here. Here are some songs I really like. It's not a definitive list.
(Oww. My daughter is kicking my ribs ... why?)

• "Skullcrusher Mountain" - Jonathan Coulton
• The Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog soundtrack (including "Commentary!" ... mostly because of "Better Than Neil." ... Heh, 'It's a shanty,' indeed, Mr. Fillon. Heh.)
• "Love Me Dead" - Ludo
• "If It Kills Me" - Jason Mraz
• "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" - Jack Johnson
• "The Zombie Song" - Stephanie Mabey
• "Creepy Doll" - Jonathan Coulton
• Anything by Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies
• Or They Might Be Giants
• Or Weird Al Yankovic
• Those Discovery Channel Commercials about loving the whole world? Yeah, those.
• "Kiss Me" - Sixpence None the Richer
• "Sunlit Garden" -from Revolutionary Girl Utena (anime series)
• "The System is Down" - Strong Bad
• "Mow the Lawn" - Commercial for razors from across the pond. Heh.

Yeah, there are others. But those are the ones that I think of first. So ... yeah.
My tastes are ... special. Not that you'd doubt that.

And THAT, my dears, wraps up the 30-day meme. Phew!!

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned? (TMI ALERT!!)

Um ... I learned that I can't keep up with a meme?
That I find it difficult, with real life happening around me to post daily ...

I think that those are real things.

I also learned that kidney stones hurt like a son of a bee sting.
And that yeast infections can be tricky to diagnose ... and I'll be happy (VERY HAPPY) to NOT have the fires of a thousand suns burning in my pants. (The British-English definition of pants, that is. Though, the other definition fits, too. Not as exact ... but it's there.)
I learned how it feels when your in-utero child has the hiccups, too.
And how to set up all the fancy bits on the new Pack-N-Play.
I also am learning how to use my Moby wrap.

And I learned how to order bengkung from Malaysia. (They should arrive in about three weeks ... just in time for BabyGirl to be born ... and for me to start wearing them ... in hopes of getting back into pre-pregnancy [or better] shape sooner).

I also learned that I'm really not ready to move.
And that I'm picky when it comes to diaper bags.
And that my heartburn really does mean that BabyGirl will have more hair.
And that one reason I had preeclampsia last time was that my body wasn't as exposed to my husband's cells (and, strangely enough, the placenta has more of HIS cells than mine ... Thanks to "Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?" ... A very interesting book. I'd recommend it!) as this time.

I also have come to the knowledge that I've never been THIS pregnant before ... well, this far along, anyways. I've been HUGE-ER. So, yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Besides fighting a yeast infection. Which itches. It itches so, so, so much!!!
I can't wait until it's OVER ... since I've had it for WEEKS and didn't know it ... and now, that I have medicine ... I just want it GONE. FOREVER.

So ... yeah. I'm just going to close up ... write today's post (to tie up the 30-day meme) ... and try to surreptitiously scratch my pants. Because, well, doing it overtly is NOT AT ALL in good etiquette.

Day 28 - A picture of you from last year and now - How have you changed?

Newport Aquarium, January 2011

In front of the computer, January 2012 ... I think this is my most recent picture. :S

I don't often have a lot of pictures of myself, since I'm often the one behind the camera.
And, also, I kinda hate pictures of myself.

I keep MEANING to take pictures of myself when I'm pregnant ... I'm 36 weeks, as of today ... and I don't know that I have a SINGLE belly picture. Oops.
Chalk it up to another of my regrets in life. Oh well. (Does that make it an excuse to eat some ice cream? It's LITE ice cream ... if that makes any difference ....)

I still need a decent hairdo.
I also am waiting for a couple more weeks to get a pedicure ... I really want to have cute toes when BabyGirl comes. (Last time, I was hospitalized before I really was ready. Good thing I had a bag packed ... and we lived closer to the hospital. Whenever I needed anything that HADN'T been packed, Michael'd fetch it for me. I don't really want that option. I just want to be PREPARED this time. Waxed, pedicured, packed, cute hair and make-up ... Yes, I AM a freak. Deal with it. YOU'RE the one reading this blog. :P [You know I love you.])

Tonight (since I'm scheduling this post. It's actually the 27th as I type it), the kids are going to sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's house (THEIR grandma and grandpa. Mom and Dad C, to me). I think that Michael and I will take advantage of the free evening to go watch Sherlock Holmes 2. And return the calendar that I bought. (How I ended up paying FULL PRICE for a 2011 calendar is beyond me. Can we blame preggo-brain? Please?)

So, I still need to buy a diaper bag. And a sling that will EASILY fit in there. I need to clean out our room so BabyGirl's Pack-N-Play has a place. I need to get out the kids' old baby clothes and organize them. I need to get the manual pump out of storage. Probably need to buy new valves for it, since it's been a few years. Hmmm. So tempting to just run out and spend money on a new one. Not that I really NEED it. We'll see if the old one works. It's not like I can't just borrow one from the WIC office if I need to.

Hopefully this little girl stays put for the next 4 weeks or so that I HOPE she will ... since I need TIME and ENERGY to get crap done. And I really am not finding the motivation that I wish I had.

This is why I have Michael. He'll get me to get everything done. That's yet another reason I'm so glad he is content to slum it with me. ^_^
That and there is NO FREAKING WAY that I can take the closet doors off the track by myself. Even if I WEREN'T heavy with child.

Day 27 - Why you are doing this 30 day challenge

Just for fits and giggles.

No, really. Because I get bored. It gives me some structure. It can be fun.
THAT'S why.

No deep, philosophical reasons.
Not this time anyways.
Sorry if you were expecting that.

Lactivism and Sisterhood ...

So, I did my lactivist duty today.

A friend came over for just a tic to feed her baby ... who refused to nurse (too excited).

Since my friend was engorged ... and my manual pump is still put away in the shop ... and I KNOW how bad being engorged can hurt (also, I don't want ANYONE to have to suffer the pain that is Mastitis. It's BAAAAD. I know this for a fact.), I asked her if she needed to hand-express to relieve some engorgement.

She had never done that.

So Michael sent us to the back bathroom where I did a talk-through, demonstrating over my shirt ... and she's a FAST learner (not that I'd ever had any doubt of that).

She got to relieve some pressure and learn a new skill. I gave her some nursing pads for the ride home.
And everyone was happy.

It's nice to help someone learn a new skill. Especially one that can relieve a LOT of discomfort.

(I've had to hand express on occasion... even though it's been about four years ... It's good to know that I still recall some of my old mad breastfeeding skillz. Hand expression is AWESOME when you're engorged. Because if you're TOO engorged, your baby [or in my case, babies] can't form a good latch. Which leads to PAIN. ... The BEST place to hand express, in case you ever wondered, imho, is in the shower. The warm water and no fears of making a mess. Sinks are also good. But you have to massage the breast a little more first to encourage let-down.)

If you practice, you can get decently emptied. Not nearly as well as with a pump ... but decently. Enough to make you feel a LOT more comfortable.

And, seriously ... I LOVE that Michael just sent us to take care of things. It's so nice that I got a husband who supports my obsession with breastfeeding. (Now, yes, he DID think I was crazy at first for wanting to breastfeed for over a year ... but I think he's happy with how healthy and happy the kiddos are. That and he's behind the science supporting breastfeeding.)

Now ... hopefully, BabyGirl will have a good latch like her siblings. Then we'll be in business. ... Especially if I can remember how to get latched on and off in the ninja-like manner I perfected years ago.
(Cracked me up something fierce when I'd nurse and people would just think I had a sacked out baby on my lap. ... Until the kiddos got older and more distractable. But, hey, by then I could give them a solid-food snack and postpone a feeding until later. Which, occasionally, necessitated a hand-expression in the meanwhile.)

Ladies who've struggled with breastfeeding or who've chosen (whether by choice or necessity) to formula-feed ... Don't feel bad about it. As long as you love your child(ren) and are working to raise them with love and care, you're ALL all right by me.

But, hey, if you NEED someone to talk you through the basics of hand-expression ... I can do that.
One of the perks (heh ... since my rack is severely lacking some perkiness, it had to go SOMEWHERE, amirite? :P) of being a veteran breastfeeder.

Yeah, I just made a boob joke.
And, no, I'm not going to apologize. I'm pregnant, tired, and a lactivist. I also have been BURSTY since about the sixth grade or so. I accept that I have breasts. And, hey, FINALLY they really made themselves worthwhile. (I love saving around $30 every few days for a couple years. I hope I get that opportunity again. Because I love the cuddles, the less-aromatic diapers, and the money. Money, money, money ... money with which I could buy or rent an electric pump. Or BOOKS. Or new shoes. ... And not having to get out of bed in the middle of the night to mix up formula? That's awesome. Just sayin'.)
Though Michael would argue that my chesticicles are worthwhile ALL of the time. (Glad he likes them. Even though they've ruined my childhood dreams of being an Olympic Gymnast. I've dealt with that, though. :P)

Okay ... that's it. I'm rambling now. Good night, everyone!

What's Going On ...

And I say, "HeeeeeeEeeeeeEeeeeey!" I say "Hey! ..."
Oh, oops. Got caught up there for a tic.

So, Tuesday, Bruise SWORE that his lunchpail disappeared somewhere in the house. I searched. It was nowhere to be found. And if he had just PUT IT ON THE FRAKKIN' COUNTER LIKE I ASKED, it wouldn't have been an issue, now WOULD IT?

(Answer: No, Miz Llanna. No issue at all.)

Then, after taking a LARGE bowl of leftover meatballs as a snack (which Michael also has been using as a snack), Miss Bucket POURED about a 1/8-1/4 cup of salt on the leftover-leftover meatballs.

AAAAAAAAAND they kids whined so badly the previous night about the (TASTY) dinner I had made ... I was just burned out. I was THROUGH. And this was after having taken a nap (to make up for the energy expenditure of cleaning and vacuuming out the back of the van and setting up BabyGirl's carseat).

I really had just HAD it.
I screeched at them, sent us ALL to timeout ... came out after a few minutes to check EVERY POSSIBLE PLACE Bruise could have left his lunchbox (after he told me that HE hadn't HEARD me say to put it on the counter. Miss Bucket heard me. And told HIM so). ... It was nowhere to be found.
So, Wednesday, he had to ask the bus driver (no), his English-speaking teacher (no), and his Spanish-teaching speaker (BINGO!!!! It HADN'T even made it home. How did I ever GUESS?!?!??!???).

Mom came up Wednesday. And it was NICE to have a second adult to help keep me sane (since Mondays and Tuesdays, Michael has a class in the evenings. ... Yay professional development! Boo single-parenting. I am NOT made to be a single parent. If YOU are, more power to you. You have my respect. I don't know how my mom managed for so long [from when I was in second to fourth grade. Then again after fifth grade until she remarried when I was in high school].)

We did some shopping. My Amazon.com order came in. The Pack-N-Play is here. Now to clean up our room to fit it in there (Guess I know what WE'RE doing this weekend!). One of my book orders came in (three more books that should arrive QUICKLY ... and another around March). My Moby Wrap (baby sling) arrived. So did the weather shield for the stroller (So when we're waiting for the kids' bus, BabyGirl, at least, won't get completely soaked. That'll be a good thing. Especially with Oregon weather. Our four seasons? Rain, rain, rain, and road construction. At least THIS side of the Cascades). ... So, yeah ...
And Mom and I went to Hallmark and got a calendar, so I can keep tabs on what goes on during BabyGirl's first year.
And I have Baby ESP installed on my phone. To keep track of feedings and diapers and all those things I did by hand for Bruise and Bucket those first couple years ... at least until they stopped breastfeeding.

A conversation with Michael:
Me: Well, I hope that BabyGirl and I will be successful in breastfeeding. I mean, I managed with twins. It's been a while, but I knew what I was doing.
Michael: Um ... just so you know, either you BOTH succeed at it. Or SHE fails. You won't fail. It'll be HER. If that happens.

It's nice that he has such faith in me. I appreciate it.

Also, in COMPLETELY OTHER NEWS: Newt Gingrich is an idiot.
If he expects to be taken seriously on running on a "family values" platform, shouldn't he at least ATTEMPT to avoid actions/statements REEKING of hypocrisy?
Or, since he's obviously FAILED THAT, shouldn't he be mature and contrite about it? Admit that he made HUGE, REPEATED MISTAKES ... and assure us that even though he leaves his wives when THEY get sick, he won't treat our (ailing) nation that way. And then, actually, you know, FOLLOW THROUGH.
Instead of getting all high and mighty about how DARE the news media/anyone JUDGE HIM for cheating, multiple divorces, MORE cheating, ... especially while he was fighting for Bill Clinton's impeachment for some of the same behaviors.
Hasn't the White House/Oval Office been desecrated ENOUGH?
Regardless, it doesn't matter. He doesn't have my vote. And he won't get it.
Seriously, what'll he do to abandon our country? The USA is sick and suffering. From his track record, he's going to leave us for something younger and healthier.
Is he going to go live overseas? Or will he go to that great unknown? ... I'm trying not to get my hopes up.
As I said on Facebook, I'm reminded of a Firefly quote whenever I think of him.

"I know him. And he's a psychotic low-life."
"And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community."

Because ... well ... do I really have to explain?
But, hey, when the quote fits ....

THIS is why I can't get involved in politics. It IRRITATES me. And ... yeah ... why CAN'T Stephen Colbert be on the ballot? I would feel better voting for him. Also John Stewart. Or Mike Rowe.
But, well, Colbert is a better write-in than Mickey Mouse, isn't he?

Ugh. Sometimes, being a grown-up is just DUMB, DUMB, DUMB.

(But, really, South Carolina? Why'd you select Newt Gingrich for the primaries? Do you just WANT Obama in office for the next term? I don't get it ...)

Okay. Time to make dinner. Then I might just go soak my head or something.

Day 26 - What do you think about your friends?

Oh, COME ON.

This is a REALLY dumb question.

Do you really thing I'll be all, "Oh, I hate them. Whatever"?

Seriously ... if you're my friend, it's because I LIKE you.
And, therefore, as an only (freak) child, I'm totally possessive of the fact that you're MY friend.
This is why I have so many friends on Facebook. So I can keep tabs on my peeps.
(And so that I can stalk those that I'm not THAT close to. Mwhahaha!!!!)

TL;DR version - My friends are awesome. This was a really dumb question.

Day 25 - What I would find in your bag

I'm too lazy this time to actually photograph everything in my bag ... so you get the quick list form this time.

And, honestly? I haven't cleaned out my bag for a LONG time ... so I don't even know what all is in there right now!

Okay ...

• Usually, when I'm out, my cell phone is in my bag. Unless I've left it on my computer desk. Again.
• My keys
• My wallet
• My Swiss Army Card (It's blue. And sans toothpick. I lost it a few years back.)
• My WIC packet (Food list, WIC ID, and vouchers)
• Gum (Trident Layers: Cherry Lime.)
• Halls Defense Vitamin C lozenges - Watermelon flavor
• Two tubes of Xylitol mints - Lemon and Berry flavors, respectively.
• A bottle of Children's Tylenol
• A tube of Aquaphor lip balm
• A small make-up bag containing:
  Extra-Strength Tylenol
  Children's Ibupofen
  Fisherman's Friend cough drops (From Nana)
  A travel tube of Tums (berry)
  Trial size Clinique mascara (freebie)
  Burts Bees tinted lip gloss - Hibiscus
  A couple generic Zofran
  Bandaids
  Generic Benadyl
  A makeup mirror
  A pantyliner
  An emery board
  A black comb
• A pocket pack of Kleenex (x2)
• A small ball-point pen (x3)
• 3 eos lip balms (Sweet Mint, Lemon Drop, Strawberry Sorbet)
• eos Everyday Hand Lotion (cucumber scent - Freebie)
• Butterscotch lollipops for the kids (See's Candy ... they've been in my purse since right before Christmas. Oops!)
• Ricola Honey-Herb drops
• Lavender-infused antibacterial gel
• A case of Altoid smalls (Peppermint)
• Earbuds
• Bluetooth (Barely ever use it, though)
• Handkerchief (used to be Grandma Darlene's)
• Eyeglass cloth (used for cleanining my phone's screen)
• Emergency pad
• Travel/fold-up Hairbrush and Mirror (Purple)
• Ultrasound (from when I was in the hospital. The one that Dr. M did, not the one the ultrasound tech did. Those ones are on my bedside table.)
• Discharge papers (from the FIRST hospital visit. Before my kidney blocked up AGAIN.)
• Old shopping list
• Various receipts (Burgerville, Safeway, Costco)
• Punch card for the bread store (should be in my wallet)
• Instructions for one of Bruise's Transformers (Christmas gift)
• Coupon for Taco Time
• Menu for Figaro's Pizza
• Tickets for when we saw Puss in Boots
• Paper for medical disclosure (checking into the ER)
• Medical Waiver Form (N/A, since I'm having a girl, we won't be doing a circumcision. But they have to let you know what is and isn't covered by your insurance.)
• A hair elastic
• Various gum wrappers
• A Tide-to-Go pen
• Lid for a prize container from the kids' dentist's practice

And ... that's it. Now, that I've unloaded all that, I think I should throw away a lot of crap. And get my purse organized again.

And then I think I'll go to bed.

Day 24 - A letter to your parents

I think that I've done this meme a few times before ... and so, due to that, here's the abbreviated versions.
I don't think much has changed. ^_^

Dear Mom,
Thanks for being one of my absolute bestest friends. I appreciate that we're tight and that I can come to you with anything.
Also? Thanks for not killing me. Since I have Bucket (who's my Mini-Me), I have a VAST new-found appreciation for what you went through being my parent. Wow. You deserve a medal, a full-expenses-paid vacation somewhere decadent, and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. And massages.
       Love you!
           Allanna


Dear Dad,
I know that I went really distant after you and Mom split. I'm glad that we talk. And that I KNOW that you love me. I appreciate that you value my intellect. And I'm glad that you like Michael (that means a lot) and that you love the grandkids.
Thanks for not giving up on me ... and for giving me the chance to realize how much you mean to me. And for REALLY letting me know how much I mean to you. That was ... really shocking. In a good way.
     Love you!
         Allanna

Dear Mom and Dad C,
Thanks for raising an awesome family. I think your son is totally the best. And I'm glad that your other kids are all really nice, too. Thanks for accepting me and letting me be part of your family. I really couldn't ask for (let alone find!) better in-laws. I really appreciate you guys. I hope that I've let you know that.
        Love you!
             Allanna

Waiting ...

Michael's in class ... well, he should be OUT of class now. Probably getting into the truck and on his way home.

We just went through the bedtime routine. Finished the last Ramona Quimby book (Ramona's World).
The kids are having one more bathroom break ... stalling for time, I think.

I still haven't taken a shower. I need one.

I'm tired. Have been all day.
Did I take a nap? Oh no. That'd be too easy.
Maybe I'll get one tomorrow.
Maybe I'll do housework tomorrow.
Maybe I'll clean the car ... tomorrow.

We'll see.

Today has been a day of tears. Bruise cried that he didn't want to take a nap.
I tried to get him to lay his grumpy buns down ... but I kinda knew that he wasn't going to.

Bucket cried because two boys were sitting behind her (and two of her friends) and laughing. And the boys had been saying her name ... so she's SURE they were laughing at her.
LOTS of tears on that account.
My poor, sensitive little tulip.
She takes after her mother, poor thing.
(And it's only taken me, WHAT, three decades to be able to deal ... well, to be able to deal MOST of the time. Even through high school, I'd get set-off VERY easily. It's not easy being sensitive AND hormonal AND angsty. Oh gosh, that's what I'm going to get to look forward to dealing with in the next ten years ... Lord, give me strength. I'm going to NEED it.
And to maybe get her a prescription of Xanax or Prozac or something. Oy.)

The kids gave up the chance to have popsicles for dessert ... they complained too much about dinner (homemade hamburger helper-type stovetop casserole). It was good. I don't know what THEIR problem was. ... Eventually, their problem was NOT earning a popsicle for dessert.

I had a popsicle.
I ate MY dinner.
So THERE.

Okay ... I think that wraps up most of today.
I need a shower. And I want one before Michael gets home. So I better hop (or lumber, really) in the shower.

I also noticed today, as I wore my black wool coat to walk to and from the bus stop ... I pretty much am walking like a penguin.
A 5'5" penguin.
With brown boots.

Oh well.

At least my feet and calves aren't swollen (and looking like they belong to a gal about 100+ pounds heavier than I am) anymore.
Yay for prayer!
Yes, I did pray for a vain thing like that.
After preeclampsia, I've taken QUITE a bit of pride in how svelte the tops of my feet and my ankles have looked since the water retention went away.
It's the little things, y'all.
And that's a little thing that's PRETTY DARN IMPORTANT to me these last six years (well, nearly six years. It took a few weeks to lose all of that. But it was gone shortly after Valentine's Day 2006, when I had my 6-week appointment ... And Dr. M was pleasantly surprised to find that I lost SO much weight since I last saw her [I think I was below my pre-pregnancy weight. Or, at least, VERY close to it. Yup, that was a LOT of water retention plus babies, placentas, blood volume, amniotic fluid, etc. that I had been carting around.] ... And I think she was kinda shocked that I had already started my period ... while nursing TWO children. Within SIX WEEKS of giving birth. ... Yeah, I think my body's insane sometimes. "Hey, we just pushed out two kids. We're sleep-deprived. We're looking forward to a couple years of breastfeeding. LET'S POP OUT SOME MOAR KIDZ!!!1!" ... Um, NO. Let's take a breather, M'kay?).

Okay. I'm shutting up so I can get a shower.
And tell the kiddos to GET. IN. THEIR. SWEARWORD. BEDS.
(No, really ... if you haven't already watched that YouTube video, you should. It cracks me up.)

Nighty-night!!

Day 23 - Something you crave often

At this point?

SLEEP.


Seriously, I wake up -- I'm tired.
I take a nap (some days) -- I'm tired.
I go to bed -- And wake up at least once to pee ... and at least twice to heft my belly and sore muscles into a more comfortable position.

I'M TIRED.

This is why my house is suffering. I don't have as much motivation to clean. (Because I'm tired.)
My car is a garbage can on wheels (Because I have messy children. And I'm tired.)
I don't have the energy to walk along my kids as they practice riding their bikes (Because, GUESS WHAT? ... Yup, it's because I'm tired. Shocker there, huh?)

And I know that it's only going to get worse before it gets better.
But, hey, once BabyGirl is OUT and, in a few more months (hopefully), she'll sleep through the night ... and I'll have the energy to DO things.

I will CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!
I will TAKE THE KIDS TO SOME EXTRACURRICULAR LESSONS!! (Swim lessons. Or Bruise really wants to take a martial arts course. If there were Gymnastics, we'd enroll Miss Bucket. Though the kids have expressed an interest in Little League ... it's just NOT happening this year. I'm sorry. Mama's EXHAUSTED.)
I will get CAUGHT UP on ALL THE HOUSEWORK!!
I will READ BOOKS!
I will watch those movies that I've put on the Instant Queue on Netflix!!
I will play the Wii!!
I will exercise!!
I will plan and make healthy meals for my family!

But ... I'd really like to get a nap first. Just THINKING about doing ANY of the above has nearly robbed me of the will to live. *yawns*

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else?

• I have brachydactyly ... In other words, I have stubby thumbs.
• I'm a worrier AND an idealist.
• I'm a realistic optimist.
• I have a nose that makes me look Jewish or, maybe, Italian.
  But, really? It's probably Native American.
• I was into vampire fiction before Twilight was cool.
  And, for the record? Twilight isn't that cool. It's just really popular. I love to mock it.
  Twilight parodies? YES, PLEASE!
• I am addicted to the internet.
• I am addicted to books.
• I like to eat. ... Enough so that I don't try to diet anymore.
  I try to make healthier choices ... but ... well .... whatever.
• I don't really care to go outside a whole lot.
  Don't get me wrong, I like nature ... but not when it's cold or wet or too hot.
  Yeah, I'm a pansy.
• I like vegetables, generally. I should eat more of them.
• My seasonal allergies appear to be against poplar and birch trees.
  And I now, thanks to those allergies, have sensitivities to eating raw apples and almonds. And probably raw peaches. Which ticks me off.
• I'm a lactivist ... in that I feel that babies should be allowed to eat anywhere a baby would legally be allowed to be. (e.g., In the mall, at a restaurant, etc.) If you're such a delicate little flower that you can't handle that ... well, you can just not look. Like I choose not to look at Abercrombie and Fitch adverts. Or anything involving the Kardashians.
  Yes, I'm not the shy little tulip on this issue. God gave us breasts for a reason.
  (HINT: It wasn't for selling cars. Or beer. Or overpriced, ill-fitting lingerie. Just sayin'.)
  And, hey, I don't care if a baby gets a bottle or the breast. I think that we're hard enough on each other as it is. As long as your kid seems to be healthy and happy ... I think you're doing a good job.
• I'm pretty darn pale.
• I think I'm finally happy with my hair color ... for now, at least.
• I hate the thought of living in a town without a decent library system.
• I'm bored ... and I want to take a bath ... so I'm closing up.

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

Yes, yes, it's a day late ... Sorry!

(But, obviously not sorry enough to actually post on time. :P)

The temple makes me happy.
Church makes me happy.
My family ... and knowing that we can be together forever ... makes me happy.

I think that sums it up pretty well.

In which I whine a bit ...

I had contractions last night ... They didn't feel good.
And I'm JUST NOW 35 weeks along.
They could have been Braxton Hicks ... since they did go away when I drank a crapload of water and had a lie-down.
But, GOSH, they did NOT feel good.

My belly button hurts.

So, you know how I mentioned that I got waxed? And my waxing lady mentioned that my undercarriage-skin looked "irritated?"
Yeah, I had bits of blood on my pantyliner. Stupid, irritated skin.
But, hey, at least I'm making sure to moisturize.
(Word to the wise -- Desitin does NOT feel good on irritated lady-bits. It BURNS, y'all. Just so you know.
My waxing gal recommends the Neosporin with pain relief. It's what her daughter with eczema finds best.)

My calves and feet are still swollen.

I weigh over 230 pounds. Not a whole lot over ... but, ugh. It doesn't make me feel very dainty.

I'm tired. Nearly constantly.

I'm bored with my whining. So I'm going to shut up now.

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

Michael.

Duh.

No, really ... we've both forbidden each other from dying or anything.
Because neither one of us wants to dive into that fresh hell that is the world of dating.

And, really. Who else could I ever find that'd put up with the amount of crazy that I am?
Let alone who would profess ENJOYING it. :P

He knows all my faults.
And he accepts them.
And he still loves me.
Even when I'm hormonal/crazy/upset/sad.

And he puts up with my Grammar-Nazi tendencies.
And my idiosyncrasies.

Also, he's a GOOD KISSER.
I'm so not giving THAT up.

I consider it quite the feather in my cap that I was able to end up with a man who's practically perfect in every way ... and the things that he thinks aren't perfect?
Are extra endearing.
(Seriously? Snark apparently is the way to my heart.)

I still don't always get why he loves me so ...
But I'm REALLY glad that he does.

He's an awesome husband, father, and engineer.
He makes REALLY CUTE kids.
He sticks up for me.
He's my sounding board.
He's also my best friend.

Things are always better when he's around.
And I'm sure glad for that.

Since the hospital ...

My mom came up for most of the week ... to help me recuperate and to make sure that I rested.

(I took a 1.5 hour nap yesterday. BLISS!)

The kids didn't have school Monday (MLK Day) ... but we did their homework in the morning and I had them read to me. So things were good. Then Mom got here (we waited for her to leave her home until around noon, so she'd be able to avoid all the ice).

The kids were sad that even though it had snowed, none of it was left. At least they got to play in it for a few minutes before church on Sunday.
I made it through all three hours of church on Sunday. It was good to go to Relief Society.
The RS presidency had felt bad that no one had told them I had been in the hospital.
I told them not to worry at all about it. My mom was up ... all our needs were taken care of.
So they felt better. Especially once I assured them that, had we needed anything, I'd have contacted them.

Tuesday was mostly just a "take-it-easy" type day.
(Well, except where a Facebook friend told me that I was clueless for being against SOPA/PIPA, since HE didn't think it'd affect our First Amendment rights ... which, with how vaguely-worded it was, it very well could. ... So Michael got my back and commented that this first guy's arguments were so compelling ... Yeah. That's my man.
And I would have totally appreciated alternative sources that supported this differing school of thought. But to just say "So dumb." or "You are so clueless." ... ??
That's not helpful. It's not a logical argument.
... Also, wow, one of my cousins totally got on that guy's case. You do NOT mess with my Linda.
She's usually the sweetest, quiet-type of gal. But, boy ... she was a BARRACUDA!! It was awesome.)

Wednesday was spent shopping. Getting groceries and such. We also picked up a Twilight Ladybug (Target was out of Twilight Turtle), which the kids LOVE. It projects stars (some constellations, too) onto the ceiling. And you get to choose which color -- red, green, or blue.

Today, Mom and I braved the rain to drive to my OB appointment. I have a clean bill of health.
If BabyGirl isn't totally head-down next visit (in two weeks), they'll do an ultrasound and see what we'll need to do. (I did find a page of exercises/stretches/positions to practice to encourage her to go head-down ... Instead of being transverse like she's been most of the last week and a half. Owwwwww.
I also went to my salon (they were having a special) and got waxed for $20 off. LOVELY.
It's too dangerous to shave by Braille. Just keeping it real, y'all.

We ordered our Pack & Play, a baby sling (MobyWrap), and a rain cover for the stroller.
I still need to find a diaper bag that I really like. That and dig out some of the older baby stuff (Swing, manual pump, CLOTHES ...).
And clean up our bedroom and take the closet doors off to make room for the Pack&Play (It'll be her bassinet for the first little while).
And clean out the van and get the infant seat set up in there ...

I mean, really ... starting tomorrow, her due date is about 5 weeks away.
Five weeks and five days until I hope she arrives.
I have two friends who I can call to drive me to the hospital if Michael's at work and my mom's not up.

I'm to the point where, as of next week, I'll be pregnant for longer than I ever have been before.


I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.

Seriously ... I didn't know what I was doing when I had Bruise and Bucket.
I have no idea what I'll be doing ... having a baby AND two Kindergarteners ...

I mean ... my OB asked if I have been having contractions.
My response:

Well, since I only ever had contractions when I had been induced last time, I really am not sure. Because last time it was all, "Is that a contraction?" And the nurses would be all, "Yes. Yes, that was a contraction."

Sometimes, I'm all, "Oh! Is my uterus hard?" *poke, poke, poke!!* "There's a soft spot. It's not hard anymore." ... But, well, there aren't any that are close enough to form a pattern ...

And my OB was all, "Okay. ... Well, you'll know when the time comes."

I don't know that I'm completely reassured on that.
At least I'll know if I ever have kidney stones again, though.

And, hey, maybe the swelling in my feet and calves will go AWAY in a few more days.
It's looking better ... but not great. They're feeling better, though.  Not like if I push on them, the skin will split and shoot water all over. (That, by the way, is NOT a fun feeling. Just in case you wondered.)

Well ... I think I may just go take a little bath and a nap. I'm knackered.

Day 19 - Nicknames you have and why you have them

Well, this is a little easier ...

• LlannaLee - My first and middle name, minus the first syllable of my first name.
  (Variations: WannaWee [so twee] and RrannaRee [if you're turning Japanese ... or trying to imitate the Japanese accent].)
  My Mom started it. 
• PrincessBudderfwy - What my Nana calls me. Since, when I was little, I couldn't pronounce "butterfly."
• Ornery Little Critter - What Pop-pop referred to me as. And he's right.
• Love/My Love - What Michael calls me
• Mom/Mommy - What Bruise and Bucket call me
• Sista [Last Name] - What some of my Young Women still call me. It's SASSY!
• Allanna-Head - What my Jason-Head (Michael's youngest brother) calls me
• Auntie Llanna - What my nieces call me. And I think my nephew'd call me that, too. But he's not a big talker.
• Sister [Last Name] - What I get called at church. When they don't call me by my first name.
• Kiddo - Uncle Steve, Mom, and Jason-Head all call me this at times.
• [Bruise and Bucket]'s Mom - That one is self-explanatory, I should hope.

And this is without counting the strange things that I end up being called.

A classmate in my interpersonal communications class could NEVER figure out my name.
She always called me "Yolanda."
The professor tried that once. ONCE. She received a VERY WITHERING LOOK.
Good thing that I LIKED my professor.

Another gal always called me "Ah-Nah-LEE." ... How she got that from "Allanna" ... well, it's halfway there.

"Blonde Bimbo" ... what I once answered to in my (smallish) High School cafeteria.
I knew that it was a friend calling. And ... well, I was wearing a short skirt that day.

I've been called other people's names - Amanda (a friend. Also the name of my sister-in-law-squared.), Adria (friend from church), Meryl (a friend that I really look nothing like. Except we're both Caucasian), LaDonna (my Black friend), Leilani (friend from High School), and, on occasion, I get called my daughter's name.

Once of my my friends even called me HER own name. But it was before school started. So I think she was still waking up. Or something.

Those are the only ones that really come to mind.

Day 18 - List some plans, dreams, and goals that you have

Okay ... what are things that I want to do? Hmmm ....
(Besides having gotten this post out on the 18th. Oops.)

In no apparent order, here are some things off the top of my head:

• Get the van cleaned, so that we can install the infant car seat and be ready for BabyGirl when she arrives. 
• Get our room cleaned so that when the new Pack & Play arrives, we'll have a place to put her.
• Get out and organize the infant girl clothes. So she'll have clothes to wear.
• Breastfeed BabyGirl for at least two years (I got around there with Bruise and Bucket ... and I like how healthy and everything THEY are).
• Make some freezer meals in preparation for when BabyGirl is born.
• Have her on February 29th ... because it'd be pretty neat.
• Stay out of the hospital except for when she's born. :P
• Have a present for Bruise and Bucket prepared for when BabyGirl arrives.
• Eat more vegetables.
• And fruits.
• Keep up with dishes and laundry.
• Create a dinner calendar ... and come up with good (HEALTHY) ideas for the kids' lunchboxes.
• Use my prenatal yoga DVD ... and find some way to get back in shape after BabyGirl is born.
• Travel ...
• Take the kids to Disneyland. And LegoLand. And the San Diego Zoo. And SeaWorld. And, while we're at it, why not Knott's Berry Farms?
• Travel across the US.
• Visit the Smithsonian.
• Visit the Mütter Museum.
• Travel to Scotland
• And Britain
• And Belgium (naturally. Right, Cynthia?)
• And Germany ... since I took that foreign language.
• And Japan
• And Australia
• And Botswana.
• Learn to speak and read Japanese.
• Learn Spanish.
• See the Aurora Borealis. Or the Aurora Australis. 
• Have a chinchilla for a pet.
• Finish a NaNoWriMo.
• Get my mojo back.
• Get a haircut.
• Get into a habit of daily scripture study and prayer.
• Earn my Personal Progress medallion. And my honor bee. And that pretty ribbon bookmark.
• Own a pair of diamond earrings.
• Get a mother's ring.
• Add some bling to my wedding band ... someday.
• Finish fixing up the bathroom walls. Then tackle the kids' room, the hall, the kids' bathroom, the kitchen, and the laundry room.
• Read and review that dratted Paul Revere book. (NO MOTIVATION.)
• Get a pedicure before I go into the hospital to have BabyGirl. One of those gel ones that will last WEEKS.
• Buy some more nursing tops.
• Take more naps.
• Make out more with Michael. (WHAT? It's a GOOD GOAL.)
• Watch things that I've put on the Netflix queue while the kids are at school (I have a feeling that nursing BabyGirl will help with this goal).
• Learn to use my MobyWrap before BabyGirl arrives. ... It'll be nice to have both hands available.
• Buy a good diaper bag.
• Get all packed up for the hospital.
• Organize the medicine cabinet. And the cabinet above the fish tank. And the pantry cupboard. And the laundry room ...
• Go through Bruise and Bucket's clothing. Weed out everything that doesn't fit anymore.
• Find a dresser for BabyGirl's clothes. It has to be able to fit in our room ... *sigh*
• Take a picture of my belly. For posterity. ... Actually, have Michael do this. My arms aren't long enough ... and the mirrors are too dirty to do it myself.

Okay ... that's a good amount of stuff. Without getting into REALLY STRESSFUL things ... like finding a bigger house or anything like that. (I hate moving. Seriously. It's dumb, I know. But I hate doing it.)

So ... yeah ... I'm kind of out of anything clever. And I still have to do the meme-post for today. And blog about life. And I'm TIRED.

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Someone with a live-in massuse, chef, maid, and personal gym.

And more built-in bookshelves. And a couple more bedrooms and closets.
And a large yard with play structures for the kids to use.

And a sizable trust fund.

Except for those, I am actually pretty satisfied with my life.
I have Michael, my munchkins, great family and friends ... I have a church ward family that is really just extended family (or so it feels).
My kids love school and their teachers and friends there.
My husband has a good job that he enjoys (Yes, it'd be nice if it were closer ... but, hey, it's a good job with good co-workers and a wonderful boss).
I have the internet ... And a smartphone ... and lots of books.

But, at least today, I am satisfied with my life and with who I am.
And that's a good feeling.

Last week ...

Last week started off like a regular week ... well, a regular week which involves your children turning six and a family party for them.

Monday night, Michael and I were putting together their bikes (Transformers for Bruise, Princesses for Bucket) while we watched "High Spirits" (Yay, Netflix! ... The movie was okay. But it was good to see it).
I noticed that my back was hurting a little more than usual. I wondered if I was starting to develop sciatica.

We got the bikes put together and the evidence hidden, so we could surprise the kids when Michael got home after work on Tuesday.

I woke up around midnight or so with what felt like the worst pulled back muscle EVER. I tried to find a comfortable position in bed, without waking up Michael, that is.
Failing that, I woke him and begged for a blessing ... hoping it would ease the pain enough for me to go back to sleep in some less-painful position.

I ended getting up repeatedly to go to the bathroom ... and to throw up WHILE going to the bathroom.
(You haven't lived until you've retched into the toilet and soaked your pantyliner simultaneously. And then, having CHANGED your pantyliner, you sit on the toilet to pee while vomiting into the bathroom trashcan. [Thank you, Rubbermaid. We're glad that you make easy-to-clean products.])

After I emptied my system of the kids' birthday dinner (We had coupons for them to have free kids' meals at Red Robin, which was a fun experience), I was still hurting. I had taken two doses (about an hour apart) of extra-strength Tylenol ... which had no effect. We tried ice. We tried heat. I tried sleeping in different positions ... nothing was working.
At around 4:45, when Michael's first alarm went off, I got up and ran the hottest bath that I could, hoping that maybe THAT would ease the acute backache that I had.
No such luck.

So, after HE showered, and I staggered out of the tub, I called my clinic. The OB on call told me to head to the ER and they'd send me up to Labor and Delivery (not that I was in labor ... but that's where they treat the pregnant ladies). And that she strongly suspected kidney stones.
(SPOILER: Dr. C was right.)

We got the kids up and loaded into the van while I dragged on a bra and clothes and grabbed my purse and phone ... then laid on the floor by the computer after putting on shoes. Then I staggered out to the van as we loaded up and drove to the hospital.

We got checked in and I was put into a tiny room where they monitored BabyGirl to make sure that she was doing fine and that I wasn't having any contractions.
I also had to do a clean urine catch (aka - The test where I pee all over my hand) ... and they found that I was pretty dehydrated.

Jenny, the nurse who admitted me, was very sweet. When she found out it was the kids' birthday, she presented each of them with a Beanie Baby as a present. Bucket got a bear, which she named "Rainbow Bear." Bruise received a chameleon, who goes by the name of "Godzilla."
I was very, very touched by her thoughtfulness to my kiddos.

We started an IV of saline and, oh, wonderful, lovely, amazing Fentanyl. I was able to have a dose of Fentanyl once an hour as needed. And a dose of Vicodin every four hours, as needed, to get the pain managed.

Now, I don't know about you, but I now LOVE Fentanyl. I had had some Stadol before my epidural six years ago ... and it made me LOOPY. Like high-type loopy ... as far as I know.
But, really ... Michael says that he's never seen me as loopy as I was on Stadol.

I actually remember some of the things that I said while on it:

"Mom. MOM. I can see our house. The house that I grew up in. But it's not like how it is NOW. It's how it was when I was little. ... It's so ... VIVID."

"WOW ... I'll bet it'd be REALLY trippy to read Alice in Wonderland while taking this ... Wow."

"Honey ... We should get a dog. A dog with LONG, GRACEFUL LEGS."

(Michael was thinking that I wanted a giraffe-type dog. No, I wanted like a Golden Retriever-type.)

But, yeah ... Stadol is ... interesting.
Fentanyl wasn't like that.
Rebecca or Susan (two of my main nurses that first day) would give me a dose and I'd feel my eyes go all glassy and I'd be ready for dozing. Until the pain'd come back and I'd be ready for my next dose.

Susan also gave me THE TALK after she came back into the room to check on me ... and found me sobbing to Michael about how much it hurt. Because I was SURE that not enough time had passed for my next dose of medicine (actually it HAD. And that was one reason she came in to check on me).
After dosing me up, she asked me, "Now, WHEN are you going to call me for your next dose? Please do it before it gets to an 8 again."
And I promised that I'd call her when it got to a 4 (on the scale from 0-10) ... since around 7 or 8 (Though Michael tells me that my "seven or eight" is more of a "nine or ten"), I start throwing up due to pain. And I did. ... When it got to a 4.5, I called her in.
(There are some addiction issues on my mom's side of the family ... so I can be wary about taking medication. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE modern medicine and what it can do for me ... but I also try REALLY HARD not to abuse it.)

I got to have a sonogram. I saw my kidneys and my spleen. And BabyGirl.
Robert, the ultrasound tech, says that she has hair ... so the old wives' tale about heartburn being a sign of your baby having hair just might have more truth to it than I'd have given it credit for.
He also printed me off a couple new sonogram pictures of her in profile. Looks like she might have more of Bruise's profile, according to Mom and Michael.

Once, when it was still Rebecca's shift, I was crying because ... I was missing my kids' birthday, being stuck in the hospital. So I asked her, "If it's not too much trouble, if you have time, I wouldn't mind if you could please get me some Kleenex. If it's not an inconvenience."
She choked back a laugh and hugged me. "If it's not an inconvenience!! I'll get it for you right now, you poor thing!"

(Hey, I already was feeling bad since the nurses had to monitor my fluids and urine output ... and strain my urine. It's nice to know that THEY don't feel it's too much trouble ... but, hey, I'm an only child. I tend to be pretty independent. ... Which is why I ended up apologizing over and over to Michael for my having a kidney stone. Since I felt/feel like my body failed me right then.)

Mom and Dad C (and Grandma C) came by to visit that evening, after dropping off some cake and balloons for the kiddos at the house. Dad and Michael gave me a blessing that I wouldn't require surgery and that everything would work out. According to my faith, of course.

I passed a stone around midnight or so Wednesday morning. Bev, my night nurse, was pretty thrilled.
In eleven years total of straining urine for kidney stone patients in two different hospitals, it turns out that I was the first one to pass a stone on one of her shifts.
"It's like CHRISTMAS!!"

Truth be told, I didn't even know I had passed it. It could be that I was THAT drugged up ... or it could be that the stone doesn't hurt nearly as much as the kidney blockage did.

I was doing well enough later that, after spending the night in a larger room ... where Michael was able to sleep (fitfully, albeit) in the same room, I was discharged late Wednesday morning. It had been about ten hours since I had any pain medication and I was doing fine. They assured me that I should be feeling back to normal (as in no residual pain) by Friday. Which was perfect, since the kids' birthday party was going to be on Saturday.

We went home and waited for Mom (who, thankfully had come to spend the kids' birthday ... and stayed through Friday) to bring the kids home from the bus stop. I was part of what was turning out to be their birthday WEEK surprise.
Bruise walked in, stared open-mouthed at their bikes in the living room (they had opened presents from Mom, Aunt Ju, and Grampy on Tuesday), then noticed that Michael had started working on a Lego set that Bruise found a little too daunting to tackle on his own. He beelined RIGHT PAST ME.
Bucket, however, saw me right off and just about tackled me with a hug. THEN she checked out the bike she had to run past.

The kids got their homework done ... and I was starting to feel a little ... off.
I had been sent home without any pain medication, so I took a dose of extra-strength Tylenol and took a nap. I woke up a couple hours later (around 4), after Michael had taken the kids out to ride their new bikes. (Bucket was SO GLAD not to have to use her tricycle anymore.) ... I felt better ... for about an hour.
Then I called the clinic and Dr. C faxed in a prescription to Target. We picked up the prescription of Vicodin and I took one around 7:15, as we went to use the kiddos' coupons for free kids' meals at Burgerville. We ate and I waited until 9:15 to take another Vicodin.
(I had noticed at the hospital that Vicodin tended to take the edge off about 15 minutes after taking it. Then it'd REALLY kick in about 25 minutes after that.)
I gave the second pill an hour to kick in ... which it didn't.
And I was hurting pretty badly.
So I called the clinic again, and they had me come back to the ER (then L&D) ... where I was dehydrated again, despite drinking at least 3L of water that day ... because I had thrown up at least three times (I had thrown up at the house ... and then had Michael pull over three times on  the drive to the hospital ... where I threw up twice out of those three times).

I apologized over and over to Michael that I had to go back to the ER. And I felt like maybe I just wasn't having enough faith ... and that's why this was happening ALL OVER. What wasn't I learning?!?!?

But they got me set up in the same room we had vacated just a few hours earlier (about ten hours). They monitored BabyGirl again, got a clean urine test via catheter (since the last one was inconclusive due to all the skin cells in it. Oops.), started the saline again (since I couldn't pee ... it hurt and I wasn't passing anything anymore), got a catheter started, started the Fentanyl again ... And I tried to sleep through the pain. Again.

So, it turns out that it's not uncommon after passing a kidney stone for one's ureter (the tube from the kidney to the bladder) to swell, due to the trauma, and to re-block the kidney.
And, as you probably guessed, that's exactly what happened in this case. And why it was so dang painful. AGAIN.
And the only thing to do in that case, since there's no surgery or anything needed, is to manage the pain and wait it out. ... Which we did.

And, well, it did make me feel better that Bev and the other nurses assured me that with how much Fentanyl I needed to get from wiggling-to-find-some-less-painful-position-and-puking-into-the-biohazard-bags (I also ended up throwing up in the bathroom biohazard/garbage can in my hospital room. Yup. I was a mess ... trying to suck down water to flush out that rogue kidney ... and unable to keep stuff down while I was in pain), I NEEDED to be at the hospital. That, no, I wasn't being a pansy at ALL.
Which did make me feel a little better. (The Fentanyl ... now THAT and the Percocet ... I felt TONS better with those, too.)

They moved me into a postpartum room the next morning (Thursday), where I stayed for observation until Friday ... when I was released. With a prescription for pain medication. Just in case.

Thursday, I got to have an x-ray done ... I even got to get it on CD. In it, you can see my rogue kidney, still a little blocked ... but there aren't any stones to be seen (so it was just that dang, swollen ureter).
You also can see BabyGirl lying transverse, one shin bordering my kidney, the other pointed straight up toward my diaphragm, and one arm crooked down into my pelvis. She even has her head turned so you can JUST make out her eye and nose sockets and a grinning jaw.
Silly little minx.
(If you're on my Facebook, you've probably already seen this picture. It still cracks me up.)

And I got home after Michael got off work and came by the hospital to pick me up. (I found myself watching more than one episode of Toddlers and Tiaras ... how sad is that! I think I might have a little addiction to that show. Which is REALLY sad. I can handle loving What Not to Wear and things like that ... but this? This seems to go beyond the pale, wouldn't you say?)
We picked up my prescription and some Milk of Magnesia (since narcotics can ... slow certain processes down. To a standstill ... and part of my lingering backache, I was pretty sure, was due to constipation.), then we picked up the kids' birthday cake and headed home ... to relieve my Mom for the weekend (she has my stepdad to take care of and church callings to fulfill in her own ward).

I found it rather funny that Mom and L would ask if we were cancelling the kids' party.
What? I've only been in the hospital twice this week! The house is relatively clean ... we're serving cake and ice cream, a veggie tray and a meat-and-cheese tray (all purchased) ... the only stress-inducing thing is keeping the four cousins that will be there entertained ... And MICHAEL's in charge of THAT.
I technically didn't HAVE to be there ... but I am glad that I was. It was a nice, low-key party.
I don't say that it was QUIET ... because with six kids in a small house, it's NOT going to be quiet.
Unless they're all tranquilized. ... No. I won't do that. No matter how tempting. :P

Now, the worst thing about being in the hospital, for me, was having to drag my IV stand (or take just the IV bag) to the bathroom every 1.5 hours or so. That and not being able to cuddle with Michael. Hospital beds just aren't wide enough for that.
I can handle being woken up at least every four hours for my vitals ... I can handle being strapped to the fetal monitor for at least 30 minutes to make sure that BabyGirl is doing fine.

Now, it IS a little easier to get out of a hospital bed than out of our bed. BUT ... I don't have to have an IV. AND I get to have snuggles with Michael AND with Freyja-cat. (Purr therapy ... it's some of the best.)
And, since we don't have cable, I'm not so tempted to try to catch an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. :P

I still am a little sore from one IV site ... and my feet and calves have swollen to a size more fitting of some body carrying another hundred pounds than I currently do.
Which is sad for me ... but since my fingers and face are still slim(ish) and my blood pressure was fine, I'm just glad that it's not preeclampsia. AGAIN.
Been there, done that, have the stretch marks and sagged-out skin to prove it.

But, hey, I ended up with two healthy kiddos who are now six.
And, in a few more weeks, I'll have another healthy little girl to add to our family.

I still am behind on my sleep ... but it's good to be home. It's REALLY good to not be in pain.
And, as Dr. B, the urologist, stated ... if I ever have another kidney stone, I'll TOTALLY recognize what's going on. (I just hope that I won't have to.)
He also is pretty sure that this is all pregnancy-related. So I don't have to change my diet or anything. Just make sure to drink LOTS of water. Which I am.

But, yeah ... that's how I spent most of the week. Doped up.
But, on the EXTRA-BRIGHT SIDE, we're registered for the hospital for when BabyGirl arrives.
And I also have two gals who I can call to take me to the hospital in case I go into labor when Michael's not here and I progress fast enough that I can't drive myself in. So that's a plus, too.
Michael's able to sleep at night now. ^_^
In our nice, comfy bed. ^_^

 

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

This picture is a few years old ... Judging from the play kitchen behind me, it's probably circa 2009.

But I like this one. Even though I'm blonder in it than I've been for a while.
But I kinda like my emo-bangs. And I love my eye makeup in it.

Day 15 - Put your ipod or shuffle on - first 10 songs that play

Ugh ... I'd prefer a redo ... but I'm too lazy to run out to the car to grab my iPod with the music that I listen to more often.

So, you're just stuck with what I have on my computer (which I don't always listen to. Just so you know.)

1. I Hope They Call Me On a Mission - Popcorn Bopping: Dance Along Mixes of Favorite Kids' Songs
   (From my mom for the kids)
2. Freak Out - Avril Lavigne
   (I don't know this one ... Yeah. I'm that uncool. I'm not familiar with all her works. I do like her song about not sleeping with a guy just because he wants to, though.)
3. Mambo Italiano - Janice Hagan
   (This is a song that got me to BUY this CD. Over at the Happy Cooker, a kitchen/entertaining goods store in the next town over. It's not in business anymore, though. Stupid economy. But I like this one.)
4. A Strange Way to Save the World - Michael Crawford and Twila Paris
   (From the album of Christmas songs sung by Michael Crawford. And I heart Michael Crawford.
   As The Phantom [of the Opera ... not the guy in a purple bodysuit with a magic skull ring]. As Cornelius Hackl. As himself. I'm a fan. And have been ... since ... um, since I was around eight or nine.)
5. My Brain - Weezer
   (From my Jason-head, Michael's youngest brother. I actually haven't listened to it. I'm most familiar with their first album. I heart me "Buddy Holly," "Surf Wax America," and "My Sweater.")
6. Our Place in the Cosmos - Symphony of Science
   (Cementing my geek-cred ... Auto-tuning at its finest ... with some of the most amazing brains. Love!
   ... Though, I think "We Are All Connected" is my favorite. Thus far.)
7. Walking on the Sun - Smash Mouth
   (And THIS takes me back to high school ... Good times.)
8. Adeste Fideles - Bing Crosby
   (THIS is what happens when I don't deselect all the Christmas carols in iTunes. I have quite a few. And, really, the crooners are awesome. They help make the season cozy.)
9. Hold On - En Vogue
   (Not my most favorite of their songs ... I really love "Free Your Mind," "Whatta Man," and a few others a bit better. But, really ... you can't go wrong with En Vogue.)
10. Love Thing - Spice Girls
    (I am NOT going to be ashamed for listening to -- and LIKING -- the Spice Girls. But, well, there are other songs of theirs that I liked a lot better. ... And, I DID buy Geri Halliwell's CD when she went solo. Ginger was my favorite. Closely followed by Baby. I refuse to be ashamed.)

Possible TMI ... Okay, be assured that there's TMI

Bruise walked in on me taking a bath.
"MOM ... what are those things??"
"Um, my nipples?"
"No, Mom. They're BROWN."
"Yeah, sweetie. When ladies get pregnant, their nipples get darker. ... When babies are born, can they see very well?"
"... No."
"Exactly ... so this helps the baby to see where to go for the milk. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah.  ... Um ... I need batteries."
"Daddy knows where the batteries are. He can get them for you."

YES. We are special.
And I try to be honest with my children.
Even when they don't allow me the basic privacy that I'd prefer.
Oh well ... maybe his wife will be glad that he knows what's going on when they're expecting a child.
I can always hope.

Bucket is getting pretty excited to be a big sister. Which is nice.

I also learned that Milk of Magnesium is useful as a laxative.
Maybe a little TOO effective. Good thing I only had two small doses yesterday to kick my intestines into gear after all the narcotics I had to have this week.

BabyGirl is a mover and a shaker. She WAS head-down at my last OB visit.
Now she's spending a good deal of time lying transverse. I'll give her two weeks to lie however she wants ... then, since it'll be getting a little too crowded, she had BETTER return to her head-down position.
It's fun to watch her move through my belly skin, though. Especially in the bath. She moves a LOT when I take a bath.

I prefer to sleep at home than in the hospital. Even though the path to the bathroom is shorter, and it's easier to roll out of a hospital bed (and there's cable ... which ends up, sadly, with me watching "Toddlers and Tiaras"), I much prefer having to hook my heel on the side of the bed and drag myself out ... without an IV in tow.

I think that IVs are my least favorite things about being admitted into the hospital. I don't mind the needles ... it's just unwieldly, having to either drag around an IV stand or to unhook the bag(s) from the stand and hook them onto the bathroom door hook when one needs to ... answer the call of nature (which is OFTEN).

Due to the amounts of Saline pumped into my system, I now have the feet and calves of someone weighing about a hundred pounds more than I do.
At least it's not due to preeclampsia.
But, oh, my skin feels STRETCHED OUT due to the swelling.
Still, it will pass. As long as I keep hydrated and do some light walking.
At least, that's what one of my nurses assured me.

I've learned that one of my responses to extreme pain is vomiting.
I also whine and cry (unless I've vomited enough to be dyhydrated enough that I can no longer produce tears).
I mostly have a desire to lie down in a cave, without the energy to lick my wounds, and await Death.
And I also can start to shiver. A lot. Enough that Michael had to ask, "What is that sound?!??"
Oh, nothing ... just my teeth chattering. At least I didn't knock out a filling or anything.

I apologize a lot when I'm ill or need stuff.
I kept apologizing to Michael for needing to go to the ER. For not being able to handle the pain on my own.
I apologized to the nurses who had to come give me Fentanyl. Or who had to check my urine/strain my urine. ... I hate feeling needy or like I might be inconveniencing anyone.
But, really, when I'm ill or anything, I feel like my body's betrayed me ... and it SHOULDN'T do that.
Yeah, I have control issues. I'm aware of the fact.

I got to learn differences between Vicodin and Percocet. I still am amazed at what all I get to learn. Learning is good. And, when you're nice to nurses, they're so cool and kind. And they tell you stuff. Which is awesome.

Seems like the old wives' tale about heartburn is true. On the last ultrasound, the technician mentioned that BabyGirl has hair. Rather a bit of it. That was nice to know. Hopefully it all stays.
(Hopefully it's got a reddish-tint ... but we'll love her no matter the shade.)

But, hey, when the nurses tell you that it was good that you came in (hey, if you need THAT much medication to get pain under control, they figure that you've earned your stay. Or something. And they're very sympathetic. And most have a very good sense of humor, too.), you should believe them. ^_^

Well, I'm really tired. And this post is mostly going ... nowhere, really. But these are things that I've been thinking.
And Bruise's concern about my breasticles was just too funny.
Bucket will tell me about how cute my belly and belly button are ... which is sweet. Very sweet.
But, really, if she starts telling me how "cute" my swollen feet and calves are, I'll KNOW that she's not being completely honest.

Good night, everyone. Time to lie down and put my feet up, drink at least another liter of water, and read until I'm unconscious. Then snuggle with my wonderful husband.

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Our favorite take from our 2009 Christmas photo shoot.
Taken by Michael's lovely sister, T2.
The kiddos were almost 4 here.

Can I just say that I love my family?

This also includes my in-laws and my extended family. Just so you're clear.

But, yeah, my immediate family (the ones that I married or birthed)? We are a special, special, little bunch.
And that's what makes life fun.

Even if it makes reading a chapter of story-story (what we call bedtime story ... as opposed to reading Scriptures, which is also part of the bedtime routine) take about twice as long as it should. :P

But, hey, the family who can laugh and make wonky faces for posterity together stays together.
And has a darn good time in the meanwhile.

I mean, really. You can't argue with SCIENCE. :P

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

I don't know of anyone who's hurt me recently.
I try and surround myself with good people. And, usually I succeed.
(It's easy to find what you're looking for ... and I try and look for the good. It makes me happier.)

Oh, hey ... here we go:

Dear left kidney,

WITHER THE FRIES?!?
Seriously, what did I ever do to you?
Thanks for passing one stone.
But, seriously, being blocked TWICE in one week?
That's SERIOUSLY NOT NICE.
It hurt. Freaking bad.
And I spent Bruise and Bucket's sixth birthday in the hospital due to you.
NOT COOL.
Then, after being out the hospital for a matter of hours (okay, so like, about ten hours), I had to go BACK and stay for the pain meds since passing that one stone got you all swelled up again ... which caused the second blockage. You pansy.

But, hey, thanks for getting back to normal. Even if it took the better part of a week. And I got to learn the difference between Vicodin and Percocet. And, hey, since we were there TWICE, we got all the paperwork taken care of for registering for the hospital when BabyGirl is born.
And I got to see BabyGirl on the x-ray that we took of you. ... So that was kinda cool.

Awwwww ... I just can't stay mad at you. Yeah, I still love you.
But, please ... don't form any more stones. Or get blocked up again. Because that really, really hurts.
And I prefer not to be curled up on my bed, unable to find a comfortable position ... or vomiting. Because, apparently, pain can make you throw up. A lot.
Like, to the point of being dehydrated.
And that's not good at all.

So, hey, let's agree to get along. Because, if I'm in the hospital that long, I find myself watching "Toddlers and Tiaras." And ... well, let's just not go there.

Also ... being doped up? That makes grammar hard.

Let's be friends again.
     Allanna

Day 12 - How you found out about blogging and why you have a blog

I got behind again ... and I'll tell you why. Later, though. Because I'm really tired.

I first found out about blogging from the girlfriend (at the time) of a friend of mine.
SHE had a blog. And I read it. And I thought it was such a cool idea.
An online diary ... where other people could read it.

This was back in ... what? 2001? ... That sounds right.

So I started out in Diaryland. Then tried LiveJournal. And Blogger ... And Wordpress.
So far, Blogger's been what I've stuck with after the kiddos were born. Since I could easily post pictures there (If I had been able to host pictures for free on Diaryland, I might still use it. Oh well.)

Why do I blog?
It's a creative outlet.
I enjoy it.
It lets my friends (and friends I haven't met yet) keep tabs on me.
It gives me a place to muse over issues. Or to share things I've found online.

I read a lot of blogs ... I enjoy getting a glimpse into other people's lives.
I tend to be a lurker, since I don't often comment. I usually don't feel that I really have anything that important to contribute (it's easier to just "like" something on Facebook or YouTube. And, well, I'm lazy. :P).
But if I DO have something to contribute, I try and make sure that I've used correct spelling and grammar ... or else I annoy myself.

I think that should answer everything.
I could be wrong ... but my Vicodin is kicking in. So I'm finishing this up. And the post for the 13th.

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

A picture to my Bri. I ran into her little brother at a church dance (Michael and I were chaperoning.)
He agreed to take a picture with me and text it to her.
Even though it was nearing midnight her time.

My HS girls and me (in blue) at my Senior Prom 1999.
I have awesome friends.

So, here are some more pictures ... for some reason MOST of my pictures of myself with friends are on Facebook (go figure) ... and I can't easily find them on my hard drive to post (and they won't post to my blog, since my blog is PUBLIC and my FB is PRIVATE ... so ... yeah.)

But ... there you go.

I have awesome friends. (And siblings of friends. I really didn't expect Bri's little brother to be so gung-ho with my idea to send her a pic of us at the church dance. ... It was a LOVELY, pleasant surprise that he was TOTALLY on board with the idea. ... And it was great of Michael to take that one with my (old) crappy phone camera. ^_^)

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you're bored, happy, sad, mad, etc.

Since I'm feeling lazy (and in a bit of pain ... more on that later), let's see if I can just copy out my most played playlist on my iPod (What I listen to in the car).

Aaaaaaand ... it's not going to work.

Okay. Let's see ... off the top of my head a VERY short list of what I find myself listening to often:

Creepy Doll - Jonathan Colton
Skullcrusher Mountain - Jonathan Colton
These Dreams - Heart
Alone - Heart
Love Me Dead - Ludo
Stay - Lisa Loeb
The Show Must Go On - Queen

And, as a bonus, the songs that I find stuck in my head the most ... and I don't know why:

The Girl from Impanema
The score from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (since Bruise was playing the Lego game on the Wii)
The theme from Dexter ... I don't watch the show (too much cussin' in the premiere) ... but I like it.

And that's about it ... my brain is not up for a huge bunch of thought.

And I'm sorry that I missed blogging this post on time. It was NOT supposed to happen. Ugh.

So far ...

Today has been ... semi-productive.

I've gotten all the RSVPs for the family party ... So Michael and I have plans for food and entertainment for the kids. QUIET indoor entertainment OR, if the weather's nice, we can have them go play at the park.
(PLEASE PRAY FOR GOOD WEATHER. This way we'll have kids who've gotten all their wild hairs out of their systems. And that's always a plus. ... And it lets the youngest two cousins present be able to join in with the big kids.)

(If it's crappy/cold weather, I checked out a book of games ... and I'm going to be reading it the next couple days.)

I did not run my errands while the kids were at school.
I thew one load of dishes into the dishwasher (I know, it sounds repetitious to me, too.)
Transferred laundry over and did another load (Now I reap the benefits ... I get to wear my favorite maternity pants).
And I cleaned up my side of the bed. ... I'll be able to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night and NOT step all over scattered paperbacks/magazines/plastic bags ... Yeah, it was crazy.
And I talked to my mom about what we'll do with the kids before Michael gets home tomorrow.

Then the kids came home and we went to the bank (where they FOUGHT! OY!), the library (where I FORGOT to turn in the one book ... but it's not due until Sunday. And I checked out more books. Yay! I like books! They make me happy.), and we got milk at the grocery store. Then we went home, I fetched the mail, and we laid down.

And I chatted with my T, who called.
And then, after the kids got up (not a REAL nap ... but a rest. And I was willing to go with that.), my dad called and we chatted.

And I've been having the kids help me unload the dryer ... and I'm making PROGRESS on the laundry.
Now to unload the dishwasher and do another load of dishes. I'm still procrastinating that.

But, hey, I've almost finished the breastfeeding book that I've meant to read for the past while. (Yes, I know I'm a veteran lactivist ... but I figure that I can use a refresher course. Just in case. I like to cover my bases.)

I need to get the kids' Thank You cards ready ... especially since they'll owe TWO cards to Grampy.
And I have a couple thank you notes to write. So I should get that done. One more thing off my list of MUST BE DONEs.

Now it's time to head out and take the kids out to dinner.

I need more weekend in my weekends ...

We had a busy time this last weekend. Good-busy for the most part ... but exhausting and busy, also.

We went to a birthday party for my Roxy's youngest. Traffic getting there was a little hairy ... but that's Friday afternoon in the big city for you!
The kiddos had a great time (of course). And it's always nice to get to chat with my Roxy and her husband.
They also had another boy and his dad over.
As we talked with the dad, it happens that (1) he's LDS and (2) we have quite a few friends in common. How funny is that!!
So Roxy and I have joked about how she's surrounded by Mormons. :P
(We also joke about how her parents were convinced that I'm a member of a cult ... Truly, that's one reason why I usually slept over at HER house ... So they could keep tabs on us. Make sure that we didn't scrifice any goats or chickens or do any arcane rituals or whatever. It's funny ... in a kind of pitiful way. But still, we can laugh at it.)

We didn't get home until pretty late. Bucket fell asleep in the car on the way home. So I fed her fish that night.

Saturday was supposed to be their oldest cousin's baptism ... but it's been postponed since her dad's work wouldn't give him the time off. But that freed up our morning so we could buy a present for another birthday party.
We ended up missing a friend's wedding reception ... I was exhausted already and the times for the birthday party (which the kids were REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO) and the reception overlapped a good deal.

The birthday party was very fun. Cosmic bowling (with black lights and kid-friendly music videos) ... Bucket won the first game (partly due to a scoring error the computer made. It declared that she had a strike when half the pins were still there. Not that anyone was really caring about scores. I mean, the bumpers were up and everything, since these are Kindergartners playing!). Bruise would have officially won the second (with a GENUINE spare) ... but right as he knocked down the rest of the pins in his set, the computer shut down (since the lanes were only rented for a certain amount of time, not for a certain number of games, you see) ... Which would have beat their friend T's score by ONE POINT.

It was nice to talk to T's dad, we met him at the last birthday party we went to (being T's party, of course).

Bruise and Bucket really enjoyed the bowling ... I think we'll have to take them back sometime.

We got the kiddos ready for bed and then Michael snuck out and bought their birthday presents. We'll put stuff together tonight, after the kids are alseep. Then the presents will hide in the truck until Michael gets back home ... so that he can see the kids get them. ^_^

Yesterday (Sunday), we made it to church on time. And I almost fell asleep so many times during Sacrament meeting ... so Michael took me home where I rested. I couldn't fall fully asleep for any length of time ... but I did make my list of what to take to the hospital ... and I packed my toiletry bag ... just to get a start on things.
Then, after Michael and the kids got home, we went and dropped by a little present for a gal in the ward for her birthday. Then we fed the kids ("we" = Michael) and took a nap (THAT "we" = Michael and me).
Then Michael had to run out and assist giving someone a blessing. Then he came home and we had Family Home Evening ... and he had to run out to attend a Fireside (it was for all the adults ... but I was TIRED and we hadn't set up childcare ... and it would have gotten out RIGHT at the kids' bedtime. I wasn't the most thrilled. Especially since Bruise and Bucket have school today).

Today, I had the kids get dressed and THEN they could watch a show before school. I packed their lunches. And we had JUST enough time to get their shoes and coats on (and brush Bucket's hair) before we had to get out to the bus (where it was a couple minutes late. We have pretty heavy fog today. ... Yesterday, there was even a fog alert!).
Tomorrow's their birthday ... and I think Bucket is bummed that I haven't planned a kid-party ... I wish that I could ... but I don't have the energy to do one. And Michael gets home late enough that planning one for AFTER he's home ... it'd be too late. It really would.
But, hey, at least my Mom's coming up ... and they get free swag (we'll take them out for lunch and ice cream and pick up a cake for after dinner ... it'll be good) ... So Bucket should cheer up a bit.

But, since the kids are at school, I should get a jump on housework, get a shower, run to the store, the bank, and the library ... And maybe, once I've gotten all THAT done, I can get a nap.
(Even though I slept through the night ... waking just to move elastic bands from clothes OFF my ginormous belly, I'm still TIRED. Oh well.) We'll see.

Oh, and I need to clean up my side of the bed (being the floor that looks like the bookshelf is molting, book by book. *sigh*) ... Wish me luck!!

Little dream bits ...

Last night, I dreamt that my Bri's folks had an antique-type shop.
And I had $50 or so dollars.
And I bought a couple CDs, a dress, a baby wig (for BabyGirl), and I YEARNED for a vintage coat and bag.

And ... I think it was in Ashland, Oregon.

Yeah.

The other night, I dreamt that I was with one of my Young Women (who's now in college) and we walked out of a church (with a messed up parking lot) to look for the van. Michael had to go drive home and get the van AND the truck. And I wondered who'd drive the other vehicle.
Michael showed up with the van ... and then the truck pulled up. And changed from the blue truck into a HUGE grey truck ... and Pop-pop was in it. Wearing a grey-and-pink plaid shirt. And I couldn't quite climb up the side of the truck to give him a hug through the open window, but I was able to climb up enough to give him a kiss on his arm. And we talked. Just a little. As I tried not to cry.

He said he was doing fine. That it's been a while since we did any ordinances (at the temple) together ...
(I still need to get him sealed to his parents. And, in time, to Nana ... but she's still alive [Thankfully so!] and not yet a member of the church ... so that'll come in time.)

It was really nice to get to see him. I don't often find Pop-pop in my dreams ... but it's comforting when I do. Especially when he assures me that things are well. I do notice that he looks the same ... but a little different. And it's really nice to hear his voice again.

Maybe this is the trade-off I get since he didn't live long enough to see any of my kiddos be born (Pop-pop passed away almost five months after Michael and I got married. We didn't have Bruise and Bucket until after our fifth anniversary.)

But, yeah ... sometimes my crazy dreams feature something really nice. And I was glad for the opportunity to see/visit with Pop-pop again.

Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the past few days

I'm going to be upfront about this ... I am HIGHLY unmotivated at present.

So my proud things? Are SMALL.

But here's a listing ...

• I'm REALLY HAPPY to have found that taking Zantac helps prevent/stop my heartburn AND my cough. No more cough-till-you-gag-and-vomit for me! (I hope!)
• I'm still glad that Grandma C REALLY liked the present that we got for her. Phew!
• I'm proud of myself for remembering to give Michael the Target gift cards (that we earned from spending so many $ or buying so many of a certain item ... in this case, deodorant) to use on buying the kids' birthday presents.
• I remembered to report a Relief Society visit. Like a good girl should.
• I worked through issues that I was having yesterday. Stuff in the past that doesn't matter ... but I feel better about it.
• I slept through almost all of the night last night without having to get up to pee ... until Michael's alarm went off. That's HUGE.
• I packed my toiletries for when I go to the hospital to have this child ... I haven't packed the rest.
  And I still need to order nursing bras and my Bengkung.
• I have the kids' lunches packed. That's a good thing. Now to keep doing it for the rest of the week/month.
• We finished "Mitch and Amy" ... so now to pick up the last two Ramona books from the library today...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand ... I think that's it. Like I said, it's not a whole lot.

While the kids are in school today, I need to run errands. Pick up milk (we're OUT now ... *sigh*), get the Ramona books ... Then do at least two loads of dishes, plan dinners, do loads and loads of laundry, vacuum, pick up the desks and counters ... drink a crapload of water ... oh, and get a shower. A shower would be good BEFORE I run any errands. *sigh* I can do this.

Well ... I think that covers everything!

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and when you'll accomplish them

Oh geez ... Goals?? When I feel THIS unmotivated?

Okay ... sure, whatever. Here goes ...

• Read and do a book review on that free book that's been sitting by my bed for MONTHS.
  Then I can get a new free book. *SIGH* Can I get this done ... next week?? Maybe??
• Plan FHE for tonight. There's not a lot of planning ... but I should figure out a treat for it.
  Then I should look over the next few lessons ... just to be prepared.
• Do my Visiting Teaching. Because it's important. And I have a deadline. So I should at least make appointments this week. Once I check with Jennie and make sure that my route hasn't changed.
• Read my freaking scriptures and remember to pray. This is a day-by-day thing ... and I NEED to make it a habit. 
• This week, I WILL break out my prenatal yoga workout. It will be helpful, I am sure.
• Paint my toenails. This week. I'll feel girly-er ... and that'll be nice. So I'll have something to distract me from feeling like a sore whale ... or a bear that needs to hibernate.
• Catch up on the dishes and clean the front rooms (again) ... This WILL be done by Friday afternoon. Because the kids' party (family only ... I feel a little bad ... but, gosh, I don't have the energy to plan a big party. YET) is on Saturday.
• Make a menu plan. Maybe one for the next month or so. I should do that this week. 
• Help Michael put together the kids' presents. Monday night.
• Catch up with the laundry. By Wednesday.
• Go to the Verizon store and figure out WHY the weather report/location on my clock widget won't work. ... Sometime this month. Maybe. Obviously, it's not the highest priority.
• Finish reading "Mitch and Amy" (Beverly Cleary) to the kids. Return it and pick up my holds from the closer library. Then return Lego Pirates (Wii) to the other library and pick up THAT hold ... So I NEED to read that darn Paul Revere book STAT! ... This week. Monday for one ... Maybe Wednesday for the other. I should check the game's due date.
• Buy the Pack & Play for BabyGirl. Also buy a sling (I want two ... a Moby Wrap and a Peanut Shell). And a diaper bag that I can use and will be able to use later as a purse. (My old one is BEAT UP. And I really would like one with some water-resistant fabric on the outside. The things that you learn...) This month/early next month.
• Go through the old baby clothes and organize them ... Keep out ones for BabyGirl (and any future babies), donate what I really won't use again. ... After the kids' party. 
• Pack my hospital bag. JUST IN CASE. In ... two weeks?
  Make sure to remember lip gloss. In case they make me wear the oxygen mask during labor again.
  That mask dries out your lips/mouth like nothing else!
• Order cute nursing bras and a Bengkung for postpartum. Within the next couple weeks, I think.
• Clean/organize our bedroom ... after the kids' party. Unless I'm suddenly caught up with housework in the company quarters and have enough energy to manage it before then.
• Get my hair cut. It needs it. I haven't had it cut for ... has it been the better part of a year already? That's insane. Ugh.

.... And that's it for now ... since I'm now distracted by watching Freyja-cat's toes twitch in her sleep.
I wonder what she's dreaming. Sweet kitty.
(Also, am I the only one that thinks it's ADORABLE when cats hold their head with one paw as they sleep? I mean, I don't put it past me ... being a freak of nature and all ... But, yeah ... I thought I'd throw that out there.)

I mean, I know there's TONS of stuff that I need to get done ... and I will ... somehow. Before I have a third child in this house -- who will torture me with sleep deprivation ...
(Though, hey, once she's OUT of my uterus, I should be able to create a decent blog-name for her ... so that's a good thing, right?)

But, yeah.
Today, I'll catch up on dishes, do a few loads of laundry, FHE, read my scriptures, say some prayers. Maybe make appointments for VT ... make a preliminary list of what to pack for the hospital (start packing what I can) ... see if Bri can give me a haircut sometime this month.
Then I can start knocking everything else off the list.
Like that dratted Paul Revere book that's lying there, mocking me. Grrrr. I just want to get it read and out of the way. But I dread actually DOING it. (What's wrong with me?)