Quarantine Ramblings

So ... It's been about a month since the kids were sent home from school. And it's been almost 18 months or thereabout since I last posted.

Yeah ... it's not like anything has happened in the meantime. Because stuff has happened.

Bruise and Bucket have had two birthdays (They're FOURTEEN). Bruise has long hair (past his shoulders now. Bucket's hair is much shorter. I gave her an undercut yesterday.

Bubbles is now eight. She was baptized ... that almost didn't get to happen. Mom, Michael, the kids, Bishop, and I were the only people who were able to attend in person. We were also able to broadcast a live feed over Zoom, thanks to a friend in our ward (congregation). So Bubbles is now an official member of the ward, with a membership number and everything.

Mom gave the opening prayer, Michael baptized Bubbles, Bruise and Bucket were witnesses. I helped her get dried off and dressed. After Bubbles was confirmed and given the gift of the Holy Ghost, I gave the closing prayer ... and started crying during it. It's just been ... a lot going on.

If I were to say that my anxiety isn't doing great ... that wouldn't be a complete lie. I am still mourning Nana's passing. Now I am also mourning all the opportunities that my kids (and other people) are missing out on. We've postponed Bubbles' friends-party (she wanted a science party ... I have all the goodies for it, really ... for when the social-distancing-thing is over) indefinitely.

One of my best friend's mother passed very unexpectedly at the end of February. She had just gotten the all-clear from her doctor to start flying again. Then she had a pulmonary embolism. No one could have seen it coming. We attended the funeral before the pandemic hit. My friend looks SO much like her mom. It was good to see people ... but not under such circumstances.

One of Michael's uncles also passed. The funerals were a few days apart. Again, it was good to see family. But not for a sad occasion. And two funerals in one week is ... draining.

Bucket has been going to counseling for a couple months. It's been good. She was depressed (due to anxiety ... doesn't that sound familiar? Ha haaaa....) ... but she's getting back to her usual self. It's good for her to be able to handle her emotions better. And she tells her counselor and me how much I should get counseling. She's not wrong. But she has better insurance coverage, ha ha ha.

We've started the whole distance-learning-thing in earnest now. It's ... going. Bubbles is in a dual-language immersion program. And the other language is Spanish, which none of the adults are good at. And Bruise and Bucket dropped Spanish at the end of last year ... so it's interesting. Especially the writing assignments.
We finally got their workbooks in the mail yesterday. (Bruise and Bucket got 8th Grade Reading, Language Arts, and Math. Bubbles got a Summer Bridge from 2nd-3rd Grade in English). Bruise and Bucket also have two-week packets for Science (Genetics for now) and Social Studies (the Alamo). They should be receiving information on how to do their Algebra as an independent study since all of the eighth grade is doing the same math currently.

I sewed some masks. It was not quite a comedy of errors ... but since my sewing skills are not what I would describe as brilliant, it was definitely a bunch of learning experiences.

We went down to my mom's property and cleared out a dumpster-full of all the crap that my stepdad "collected" and left in the yard. The back yard is mostly mowed. The side yard is nearly cleared. We still need to weedeat and mow the front and creek-side parts of the yard. And clean out the rest of the junk in the big shop and the side yard. Lots of yard work, since we couldn't ever find anyone who would be willing to do it. *sigh* But it's looking a lot better.

We've been getting a lot more birds in our yard. There was a crow the other day. We also have ducks from the lake. We see a lot of duck orgies happening. There were two ring-necked doves on the fence this morning. Lots of juncos, a goldfinch, sparrows, chickadees ... sometimes we get a hummingbird or two, some swallows.

Michael is (mostly) working from home. He goes into the office once a week to check messages (and forward those on to coworkers). Mostly, he's in the furnace room on his computer. We got the furnace room a bit more cleaned and organized, so that gives him an ersatz office. He's got wifi, electricity, and is close to a bathroom ... the concrete floor is cold, but he can wear his slippers.

Bruise has been on a big heist-movie kick. He's watched quite a few: Going in Style, Ocean's 11-13 (with Brad Pitt), The Italian Job (the one with Mos Def), Catch Me if You Can, ... I'm almost worried that I've managed to raise a criminal mastermind. Thankfully, this child has strong Gryffindor tendencies, so if he doesn't follow through on becoming an anesthesiologist, he might go into crime prevention.

Bucket has been reading a lot. And watching shows, mostly on Disney+ and Netflix. She and Bubbles will do online Zoom dance classes with their studio during the week. Or Bruise will take Bucket for a jog/walk around the lake.

Bubbles and I have been working our way through the Little House books. I've been reading them aloud to her. We got through Little House in the Big Woods. Now we're a few chapters into Little House on the Prairie. She's enjoying them.

I've been reading the Abhorsen books (by Garth Nix) to Bruise and Bucket. We finished Sabriel last week and are about seven chapters into Lirael. It's slower going since the books are much longer. But it's nice to have the time and opportunity to share some of my favorites with them. Bruise is reading the last book in the Arc of a Scythe series. Bucket is in the second book now.

Since he doesn't have to commute to work everyday, Michael has more time to read. He's been rereading Weiss and Hickman's Chronicles of Dragonlance trilogy.

I've not been doing so well at getting through books. You'd think that I would have been able to jump on the chance to have more time to read ... yeah, not so much. I'm in a bit of a book slump. Doesn't help that the libraries are all closed for coronavacation.  I've gotten few a couple books, but nothing like my usual pace when life isn't so busy.

I try and check in on my Ministering Sisters. One lives in an assisted care facility. One is turning 90 this year. Two are sisters. And I gained another who has some health issues, so already didn't get out much. Thank goodness for texting (except for the oldest gal who I actually do call to check up on and chat with). I don't know that I'm the most effective Ministering Sister. I hope that they all know that I do care for them and am here to help.

I have taken baths to relax. I should paint my toenails. I always feel better when my toes look like I've made an effort.

My dreams ... I don't' usually remember them. But I do recall bits of one that caused me to wake up laughing. I was with Moss (from The IT Crowd). And he kept mispronouncing something ... and it involved the word fork ... maybe "enforkled?" But it was so funny and he was hilarious ... that I know that I giggled myself awake at least once.

......... Oh my freaking HECKK ... these writing assignments might just be the death of me.
Between Bubbles' Spanish writing assignment, Bucket just losing her data (it's not showing up ... then I DID find it. Huz-freaing-zah), and Bruise totally broke down crying over not knowing how to even start that dang assignment (so I sent him out for a walk around the lake ... it didn't really work.).
I did offer to be their stenographer (except that I don't write in shorthand. Though, my HS Choir teacher did know shorthand. He told me that he would leave notes for one of his teachers and she'd respond, also in shorthand).


And I just FINALLY finished cooking one of the worst-looking coffee cakes of my life. I was supposed to take 40 minutes to cook. I had doubled it ... and it took over two hours  ... and it's really not even cooked all the way through. Even though the flavors are okay, I am NOT going to add this to my repertoire of recipes. Yeah. It's really wet still. AFTER TWO HOURS AND TURNING UP THE HEAT. UGH.

So, yeah. There's been enough tears and I'm really done with this morning.

And I need to go pick up dirt for the garden. And I don't want to do ANYTHING anymore today.

Do over, maybe?

I'm sure I had a clever title here somewhere ...

So, yeah, my blogging has been totally intermittent (a word which here means "craptastically rare and sporadic").

So, for the last six weeks or so, I've been sick.
It started out with what COULD have been either a sinus infection or allergies.
I tried treating it like either ... meh.
Bubbles ended up getting a bit sick (FEVER TIME!) and I took us to the doctor.
They were pretty sure it was a virus, since that's been going around the WHOLE valley. Fun, fun.
I got myself a moderate Prednisone prescription.
Yeah, no dice.
Went back and got the BIG GUNS of steroids. It helped. A little
Went back and got a refill for my Albuterol inhaler (for when I come down with Bronchitis) ... eh.
Went back, ordered myself a Nebulizer on Amazon ... that helped a little.
Went back, got a Z-Pak ... my sinuses are feeling GREAT now. Still hacking.

And when I say hacking, I'm talking that, if I'm not careful, I easily cough until I trigger my gag reflex. Blarrrghghghgh. Not so fun. I like my tooth enamel. I want it to STAY.

So, went back to the doctor yesterday. Got a second set of x-rays done  ... yeah, there's still some inflammation in my upper airway (not as BAD as it was, but still enough that I'm the QUEEN OF WHEEZING, yo. --- I just took my inhaler about 20 minutes ago. Still wheezing on the exhale. Sometimes I ALSO wheeze on the INHALATION. Yeah, I'm THAT GOOD.)

And I called into the Pulmonary Center this morning. I have myself an appointment for pulmonary testing this afternoon. Go me, right? Is this asthma? (Possible. My mom has it. She was diagnosed at 30. I JUST turned 36, so it's totally possible.) Is it something else? If so, my doctor is wild to know what's up.
(She, like me, wants to know what the chicken is UP in my upper respiratory airway. Let's get this dealt with. ... If I WASN'T going into Pulmonary testing, she'd have prescribed me a steroid inhaler. But, as she said, "I want them to hear THIS ... thing." She's great. I pink, puffy heart my doctor.)

So ... plans for the day?

• Finish loading the dishwasher. Run that!
• Do another load of laundry!
• Get showered and dressed.
• Take Bubbles to storytime. Hopefully see my friend, S, there.
• Eat lunch.
• Grab the blue tablet and take Bubbles to Pulmonary testing with me. (Should take about 90 minutes.)
• Race home and beat the big kids home from school.
• Make dinner.
• Not cough on everyone.

And maybe read some books in the meantime.

I did check with my nurse, when she called with the number for the testing clinic. I'm cleared to be around people (even pregnant ladies). "Just ... don't cough on them."
Me: "Yeah, I try not to cough on anyone, pregnant or not. It's pretty rude otherwise."

Yup, give me my etiquette medal, since I cough in an empty room --- then APOLOGIZE.
(But, since my doctor could hear me (in the patient room) from the hallway, maybe it's not such a bad thing, right?

Okay. Let's get stuff done.

Bouncing Back ... but not LITERAL bouncing because ... um ... REASONS.

Daaaang, yo. It's been a long time since I last blogged.

Seriously ... six months? I'm sorry. I just haven't really had anything that I felt like was a decent contribution. (I've posted on Facebook ... but that's really been most of it).

Okay, what all are the BIG things that have happened since I last posted? ...

• The big kids went back to school.
• I'm still taking notes for PTC ... managed to be late, like, TWICE ... which is not like me.
• Bubbles is going to MusicMakers once a week (it's this free, cute music and activity class. We sing. We have an activity. They play with a parachute. They eat a snack and listen to a story. She loves it. I enjoy it, too. Everyone's supernice.)
• Bubbles is also in ballet class. She enjoys it. I enjoy watching her. She had her first recital in December. Her class was adorable.
• The kids did manage to get their room clean a couple times. Is it clean right now? ... Let's pretend you didn't ask. We'll all be happier.
• Bruise and Bucket got themselves GROUNDED off their tablets. AGAIN.
  We're waiting for them to work off enough points. It's slow going. Oh well.
• I got a new computer. It's nice and fast. 
• Our heat pump went out right at the beginning of the cold snap. We've used space heaters and are doing fine.
• I've decided to go through the hard, painful parts of grieving over that one situation that I've been all sad-sack about. I had messaged her around Christmas. She messaged back a couple weeks ago ... that I (somehow) really betrayed her trust. I'm still not sure what I did. But I apologized for hurting her, whether or not I did it knowingly.
  I mean, I HATE the idea that I would do something that could cause enough hurt for someone to cut me entirely out of his/her life. I can't think of anything that I've done ... and, if I did it NOT on purpose, ... well, that really sucks.
  
  I mean, honestly, I'm frustrated over the situation. I really would have hoped that, close as she and I were, she would value our friendship enough to tell me asap that I did something, so that I could apologize for it. ... And, honestly, I feel that I've spent the last 18-ish months defending her ... when she didn't feel that our friendship was worthwhile enough to contact me and tell me that I was a jerk and allow me the chance to make things right.
  
  And, after she did contact me back (and refrained from letting me know what I did), I took a look back on things and realized that, for a long time, as much as I love and value her as a person, our friendship has been ... stressful. I always had to worry about what I said or how I said it, since she has a tendency to take offence at things quite easily.
  
  So, I still love her as a friend and I really miss our friendship, especially toward the beginning, when we had SO much fun and laughed so much and I didn't worry that I'm a terrible jerk of a person and that I can't maintain a friendship (which, I know is illogical. I'm friends with people that I've known since grade school. One of the girls I went to high school with -- we're friends on Facebook --, when I said that I was annoying in high school, she argued that I wasn't. Which is incredibly sweet of her (and I don't know how true it is ... because, frankly, I could be VERY annoying).
  
  But, yes, I think that Heavenly Father is sending a lot of tender mercies my way. I know that I need to continue to love this girl (and I do), but I'm getting to the place where I'm able to attain a lot more peace than I've felt for a while. 
• I actually did some more social-type things. I went to my ward RS (Relief Society) meeting and learned about budgeting and food safety and cardmaking. And it was really fun.
  I contacted a friend and had social time with her. We chatted and she's excellent with advice and I felt so very much better.
  I went to the Stake RS meeting, where we made newborn kits for another friend to take down to Guatemala in the summer (she and her husband do a lot of humanitarian work there). And I found that I have a natural talent at getting the air out of ziploc-baggies packed with baby gear (MY TIP: before you completely seal the bag, LAY ON IT. Having the amount of mass I have, I just smush it with my breasticles and muffin-top. THEN you seal it. ... It's nearly perfectly flat and looks like you hit it with a vacuum-sealer. .... I finally found my secret talent!)
• Bruise and Bucket are almost through with their first semester of violin lessons this year. Their concert is coming up this week.
  Last fall, they were in dance club at school. They learned some Swing and Salsa. Bucket is continuing dance club. Bruise is going to be in soccer club (of COURSE).
• I started doing Duolingo again. I finally got all caught up (and past) where I had left off months and months ago. It took me a while (a month!!) of doing it every day. Do I feel confident in my 49/49% fluency in Spanish? Hahahahahahahaaaaa-NO. But I'm getting better and that's something.
• Michael's been CRAZY-BUSY lately. It means that the Sabbath really IS the day of rest.
• I bought sweatpants yesterday. I may never take them off.
  Soooo comfy AND THEY HAVE POCKETS.
• Bruise and Bucket turned 11. They just keep growing and everything.
  I need to do a birthday post for them.
• Bubbles was SO UPSET that THEY had a birthday and she didn't (she has to wait a couple months, poor kid), so we made a paper chain to count down to her birthday.
• I've been listening to a LOT of Hamilton (the edited CD and mixtape). Love it. I keep waking up with random songs stuck in my head. And, apparently, we're Lin-Manuel Miranda fankids, since we also play the Moana soundtrack in frequent rotation.
• Bruise got his Webelos badge and Arrow of Light ... and is now in 11-year-old Scouts.
• Bucket got glasses for reading the whiteboard in school.

I mean, all in all, it's just a collection of busy nothings.

But it's my life. And I'm feeling more comfortable in it again.

And, thank you for reading. I'm grateful for you.
Just wanted you to know.

Still not dead yet!

Wow ... my last post was ... TWO WHOLE MONTHS AGO?!?

I mean, I knew it'd been a while ... but, wow. Okay.

Why haven't I blogged? Well, lazy covers it. That and I'm not the most exciting person.

I'd been reading more. Fell out of that. Caught up in Facebook games and life, I suppose.

Let's see ... what's the bullet list?

• I turned 35. 
• One of my friends got a place of her own and is moved in ... and out of her ex-husband's place. Thank goodness.
• The big kids (Bruise and Bucket) finished fourth grade. They passed. ;)
  They had a great year, actually. They're looking forward to next school year.
• We have been going around to a lot of places in town.
  Our city does a cute little scavenger-hunt-but-not activity during the summer.
  Kids of all ages can get a "passport" at the Visitors Association, then go to each of the places/events (like a couple local festivals) listed and get a stamp at each one. Then, bring your passport back at the end of the summer. Each stamp = 1 entry in a drawing for prizes.
  One year, Bucket won a gift certificate for the local paint-your-own-pottery place downtown. Last year, she won vouchers for the local bounce-house.
• The kids have been watching more and more of the Studio Ghibli films (Kiki's Delivery Service, Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro) ... we just got Only Yesterday (FINALLY released in North America!) and Spirited Away is on its way to our door (that's my favorite one).
• My stepdad's dementia is getting worse ... as it does. It's really stressful for my mom. And I don't really know what to do about it.
  My Nana finally got moved into the memory care place ... and she's liking it very much. I need to write her a letter ... and I've been putting it off. Like a jerk.
• I've had some doozies of dreams. I don't remember much of them, really.
  In one, I had such bad head lice (but the kids were FIIIIIINE!!) that it looked like moving dandruff on my head from a distance. Gross.
  In last night's episode, there was a crazy drought AND zombie apocalypse ... and there was a dad living on an desert island with at least one daughter ... and he was wanting her to help him die so that she'd have food to outlast all the awful times ... Yeah, my brain is weird.
• Got a few sunburns ... and maybe a heat rash on ONE arm. Now it just has these little pale bumps on it. I don't like it.
• Michael and I went through and weeded out stuff we've already watched on our Netflix queue. I know, we're SO ADULTY.
• Mom and I ordered a full box of Horrible Histories for the kids (and ME!) ... this way they'll be more ready to play Timeline (a tabletop game where you put historical events in order. It's fun. Unless you don't LIKE fun and/or history. Then may the angels weep for you ... because history is AWESOME! ... Remember, I grew up devouring the Little House on the Prairie books and Anne of Green Gables. I love me some historical fiction. I also love learning, because I feel that it makes me a more interesting person. When I don't learn something new, I feel BORING. And I don't like that. I want to be DAZZLING and full of SPARKLING bon mots!
• We've been playing a lot of tabletop games. Betrayal at the House on the Hill is a favorite of this household. Forbidden Island is awesome (we need to also get Forbidden Desert). We've played a few versions of Timeline (We traded our copy of American History to Mom and Dad C, since that's the one that Mom C likes best. And she had accidentally ordered the Historical Events (world history) version, which she didn't like as much. So we traded. And we also ordered a new copy of the American History version. Since it's fun. And it helps the kids to learn, too. While having fun). ... Gloom is good. We have a couple versions of Fluxx. I splurged on Pandemic (and my mom actually liked that one, though we've yet to play an episode that we've actually won. lol.) ... Yeah, the family that plays together, stays together.
• We've cleaned the house a lot. Especially the kids' bedroom. Oy and vey, let me tell you. But they're doing a lot better on it. 
• The kids were grounded for just about forever ... tablet/honesty issues ... I keep hoping that we're past that. We'll see.

Okay, that's most of what all I can really remember to blog about. I mean, I did get to help chaperone their class field trip the last week of school ... and that was fun. I had a blast goofing off with some of the other moms. Good times, right?

We've gone to the pool a bit ... which is why I have gotten sunburns (well, that and a picnic lunch we had at a historical flour mill in the area).

Oh ... did I mention that I had cut off SO MUCH of my hair? I was TIRED of, when washing it, it feeling like STRAW and GROSS ... so almost all the colored bits are gone. It was a pixie cut ... it's growing out a lot, almost to a bob now. And I have a few blonde highlights left. I lost the last of the purple (it had faded to a whisper of lavender by the end). And I have nearly all virgin hair for the first time in DECADES. It's kind of weird. That and you can see, if you look closely, my greys at my temples (and in my eyebrows, if I don't pluck those).

But, yeah ... and I'm wearing a lot more leggings/jeggings. Even when you can see my dangly tummy through it. Because, dang it, I'm 35-friggin-years-old. I want to be comfortable.

So, yes, I'm crotchety in my old age. And in need of more naps. ^_^

Anything that I've left out?

Ocean of Emotion

What have you missed since I last blogged?

Not a whole bunch. Me being lazy and reading a lot.
My mom getting the munchkin brigade to CLEAN THEIR ROOM.
Michael and I applied for our passports ... not that we have a trip planned yet or anything.
I cut my hair (it needed it. Now, instead of being between my shoulderblades, it's jaw-length. And, overall, it feels healthier).

Michael and I went to Chef's Night Out in Eugene.
I, of course, FREAKED OUT before heading down ...

• What do I wear?
• It's a stinking CHARITY EVENT (Don't get me wrong, I love philanthropy)!
  There will be men with their TROPHY WIVES there!
  I will bring shame upon Michael!Shame on his company! Shame on his cow!
  (He doesn't have a cow, you say? WELL, THERE'S THE ONE THAT I'M HAVING NOW!!)
• What if I'm overdressed? What if I'm underdressed?
• What if I have to TALK to people and I say something declasse? 
• What if I spill my drink or food?!?
• Do I look like I'm trying to hard?
• ... Oh, hell. Fix the undereye makeup. Add some damn green liquid liner. It'll distract from the waves of fear and desperation you're giving off.

You think I'm kidding ... the plethora of rabidly-begging-for-input texts that I sent Michael and the tear-stains on our coverlet prove otherwise.

By the time I got down there (after wonderful C [who I Visit Teach] came to watch the kidlets came over, Bruise and Bucket arrived home from school, and I kissed everyone good-bye), after some en-route car karaoke, I was better-prepared mentally to deal with ... people.

I should say that I DO like people. Dealt with in small groups, I'm FIIIIINE.
But, well, when I don't know them and I'm not performing as someone else and when I feel fat and I'm on my period and there are angry bees that hate me in my head ... I'm ... vulnerable and more than a little sick-in-the-head.

Just keeping it real for you all.

I mean, usually, I can accept that, yes, there's more of me to love than average. I've got curves that won't quit. I love food ... and don't love to exercise. Or sweat, actually. Give me a book, a BLT, a rainy day, and a cuppa rooibos chai ... I'm a happy camper.

Put me into a social situation that involves dressing up more than in a jersey knit ... with strangers ... who have money (our tickets were given to Michael's company since they worked on an awesome project to combat hunger) ... and, well, I go into crisis-social-mode, obvs.

Good times, good times.
Once we GOT there ... and the pre-event schmoozing was over (so I didn't have to pretend like I knew what I was doing there), I could be proactive and go on the hunt for sampling bazillions of yummy things (I'm not that into chicken livers or pork pate. Good to know. But, DANG SON, I found some Ginger Lemonade that I can buy over at Market of Choice ... now I have TWO go-to drinks there [The other is the Rose Lemonade that you can pry from my COLD. DEAD. HANDS. ... though I also like the Dry Sodas -- esp. Lavender, Rhubarb, and Blood Orange.]).

Michael and I practically ate ourselves sick ... but there were SO many things to try ... and we hadn't even tried them all. And we didn't have seconds of anything!
(The Wild Duck cafe's Beer-Cheese soup? Yum. And there was a cantaloupe salsa with avocado. And a roasted-carrot chicken curry. And a rosewater panna cotta. And a sweet potato cobbler with lavender-caramel sauce ... and more ... and it was all really good).

See ... social events = STRESSFUL.
Food events = GOOD.
So, once it changed to a FOOD EVENT, I was good. No more stressful than getting lunch at the county fair, right?
(OH gosh, I sound like some antisocial bumpkin ... probably because I am rather a somewhat-antisocial bumpkin.)


Also, my Nana has been moved into an assisted-care home. With her dementia, it had to happen.
But, still ... I ...

I'm supposed to write her a letter every couple of weeks ... because I know that I want to keep in touch with her. And she can't hear well enough over the phone. And she doesn't have a computer, let alone know how to email or anything.  ... But ... it's tough. I don't always say how I feel. Because I don't want to be all "Hey, Nana. Your dementia makes me mad. I love you. But dementia sucks. And I know that it has to be worse for you. But it's sad. And it makes me feel like I've lost you and am mourning you before you have died. Because it's like part of your IS dying NOW. And I hate that. And it makes me feel selfish that I'm griping about the fact that I still HAVE you and I CAN visit you ... and it's not the same. ... Even if I could visit, which I try to when we can ... there's a part of me that wants to break down and cry about your state of being you-but-not and I just want to go back about 18 years to when I could walk with my dad down to your house and you'd feed Sarah, David, and me strawberries-fresh-from-the-garden with a splash of cream and a heaping spoonful of sugar. And Sarah and I would dress up in your costume jewelry and nightgowns and feel so grown up and we'd go and "help" Pop-pop mow Mrs. Weatherbee's field and tramp about in the garden and everything. I miss the smell of the attic at your old house back home. I miss riding in the backseat of your peach-colored Chrysler. I buy Freedent gum to keep in my purse because that's what you always had. And coffee candy. Even though it makes me feel like the most rebellious Mormon girl. Because these things remind me of being a little girl at your house during summer afternoons. And I was so very content then, without grown-up responsibilities ... and I really miss that. I really miss you. And I HATE that dementia has taken you away from us ... from me ... before death has. Because it makes me mad. And it makes me sad. And it makes me feel powerless and vulnerable and ineffective. Because I have NO IDEA how to fix this or what to do... I mean, I GET that I need to rely on the Lord and all. But it's not the easiest thing to do all the time. And I'll be walking in a store or in the library and I'll be hit by this WAVE of GRIEF, hard enough that I find myself breathless, reeling in its wake ... and I ... I ... I just don't know what to do.  And I don't like that. And I don't know if it will be any easier when you're fully gone or if I'll just feel more guilty for not knowing how to appreciate you more while you are here. I love our visits, even if you are more and more childlike each time I see you ... I'll admit, though, that after I get into the car to go, I mostly just want to curl up into a ball in a corner somewhere or lose myself in a story ... because I don't know how to handle losing you more and more. And that makes me feel selfish. And guilty. ... But I'm glad that you ARE around. That Bruise, Bucket, and Bubbles get this chance to know you here, as their great-grandmother. That they are able to witness your love for and fondness of them. That they're able to catch some time with you. I barely knew any of my great-grandparents ... so I know how lucky they are. I think I'm mostly just mad that, even though I've got my heels dug and and am shrieking for you not to go, that the dementia keeps dragging you away, piece by piece, until I'm grasping at the grains of sand running through my fingers as those grief-waves wash over me, leaving me soaked and chilled and frustrated-to-tears by my ineffectiveness. But I love you. And I want you to know that one fact. If you know nothing else, I just want you to remember, to KNOW, that we love you."

...

I mean, I could write that to her. It'd be honest. And one reason I don't like the letters/cards that I send to her is because they seem disingenuous ... all prattling on about how we love her (true) and what the kids are doing (true) and that we're fine (true) and we miss her (all too true) ... but that elephant is in the room and I am averting my eyes from its presence. And that feels dishonest. But it doesn't feel proper/kind/whatever to bring it up -- "I hate dementia. Dementia sucks. Dementia is ... I don't know what it is, but I don't like it." ... even if I did say those (true) things ... it might upset Nana more than it'd change anything else. So ... well, I don't see the point of doing it. 

I don't really know of anything else I ... strike that. I can report that Michael and I have now been married 15 years and ... some-odd days. I'm refusing to math right now.
And we went to the coast and ate good food and bought clothes.
I now have a rainjacket that fits me. And has a hood.
Michael got some new slacks, shirts, and ties.
We ate Monte Cristos at Gracie's Sea Hag ... and they were worth the wait and the effort!
We also went to Ripley's Believe it or Not ... just like on our honeymoon (but it was MUCH better weather this time).

And, I had signed up to sub for a Relief Society Lesson.
I figured that, hey, I'm teaching Sunday School ... why not just add on another lesson, right?
Originally, it was for March 6 - Joseph Smith.
Then it was bumped to March 13 - The Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Okay.
THEN it was rescheduled to be the Teaching for Our Times Lesson - "Strengthened Through His Atonement" by Dallin H. Oaks.
And, did I mention that it was Easter Sunday? The Sunday that our Ward choir was performing in Sacrament meeting?
Yeah, no biggie, right?

Well, I crammed. A LOT. I'd been studying multiple talks by apostles and people (all the ones that Elder Oaks referred to in his talk. And a few more. Because WHY NOT?) ... including an excerpt from Lighten Up by Chieko Okazaki.

Well, I referred to the outline I wrote. The classroom clock wasn't working. My phone (with its clock) was in my purse. Along with the tissues that I really needed.
But the sisters all participated in the discussion.
People said that it was good.
I survived.
And I'm glad that it's over.
But it felt like it went well.

And I was VERY tired that evening.

And THAT's really, as far as I can tell, all I really have to report. 

Now, I should write that letter to my Nana.

Did you know that my scroll button, when I scroll really fast, sounds rather like a duck? 'Cause it does.

No, I'm not dead.

I wasn't in a coma. Or in prison. Or stuck in a well, waiting for Lassie to fetch help.

Nothing that exciting.

I've just been ... lazy? busy? busy-lazy? lazy-busy?
I don't know.

I have been reading more. So that's something.
I've been trying to get caught up on the bazillion bookmarks I've saved either to my OneTab (LOVE that Chrome extension) or to my list of saved links on Facebook.

I cleaned my desk off (well, mostly. But it's a VAST improvement).
I worked on the "junk counter" ... so that's better.

I'll work on the kitchen, since it's a sty.

I've gotten most of my Visiting Teaching done. Not bragging ... but it does take a little time.
I do my Visiting Teaching, not because I want a trophy ... but because I really want the sisters I've been assigned to visit to KNOW that they matter, that someone loves and cares about them. It makes me sad that not everyone gets Visiting or Home Teachers who are willing to sacrifice a little time to make sure that those sisters/families know they're important enough to merit that sacrifice.
(Which reminded me to go and fill out the VT Survey in my inbox. Which is NOW done.)

Most Christmas presents are bought. Some are even wrapped (not all of them. Not yet. Soon, though).

The good news, I won't be on my lady-cycle on Christmas.
The bad news = I spent a few days FREAKING OUT because I wasn't feeling the true meaning of Christmas ... and I'm not able to go spend Christmas Eve at Nana and Pop-pop's or Christmas morning at my Grandma's house ... and I miss the SMELLS of those places. And you can never go home again because time only goes ONE direction and I hate that and I miss being a child and I miss the feeling of Christmas when I was little ... and  ... and ... and ...

So, well, it made a LOT of sense in a few days. Joy.
(But I have a trunk of my Pop-pop's that spent nearly 40 years in their attic. So it smells like that.
And I discovered that one of the tables from Nana's house has a drawer that smells like their living room at Christmastime ... so that's nice. I wish I could totally bottle those up. Just in case. But I'll accept these as answers to prayers, anyways.)

We had our ward Christmas party. Bubbles had her first dance performance (some of the 2-6 year-olds did a little dance to the hot chocolate song from "The Polar Express"). She had a blast ... though it was a little touch-and-go at times. But, for the majority of the time, she loved it. So that's nice.

I've been teaching my Sunday School class. And I'm bummed at the fact that I'm only keeping one of my students for next year (The rest will be in the 14-15 year-olds class).
And, as I said to Michael today, I've been blogging ... but for them. Because I love them more (no offense. I love you guys, too. And I'll stop being a jerk to you. Pinkie-swears!).
And, it's not even like I've been blogging that well for them, either.

I've gotten through most of my library books. So that's a nice thing.
My main goal is to read my books and not get any more fines ... for, like, the next twenty years or so.

I volunteered a couple times at the kids' school. I've been taking Bubbles to storytimes.
I used to be caught up on dishes and the laundry. That's not the case anymore. Sorry.

We did our family portraits ... just need to get them sent out to people. And the rest of the presents wrapped up.

I (finally) painted my nails.

Bucket and I made brownies a few nights ago.

Michael and I ate cheese. Lots of cheese.
Yeah, I'm sure that we've done other stuff ... but it's been over a month since I blogged and my brain is falling apart. Seriously, it's after 2:30 now and I still haven't taken a shower. And I NEED TO.

We put together our Doctor Who LEGO sets (Michael got me my own. He's sharing his with the kids. Because he's a GOOD DAD). And they had to go and buy the Ant-Man set ... because Bucket NEEDED to get "a messed-up looking dog." (Don't worry, Bruise was totally on board with this, too.)

Bruise earned his Bear patch in Cub Scouts. Now to bust our butts and get him what he needs to finish a couple other things (and hope that our Cubmaster had some arrow points for his uniform, since he earned them, but they've been discontinued).
Aaaaaaaand, I need to sew some patches on. I'm behind.

Well, that's all that's in my head for now.

Just be excellent to each other. I'm tired of news stories and  Facebook posts about people being jerks. There are only so many cat videos that I can watch to combat that ... don't make me find more. Thanks.

Some better excuses (for lack of posts) ...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's been DAYS (over a week!) since I last posted.

And here will be my litany of (semi-rubbish) reasons ... or, in other words, my regular kind of post.

So, since I last posted ...

• I've been keeping up with Duolingo, Khan Academy, Typing.com, and a bit of Rosetta Stone.
• I've NOT been keeping up with a habit of reading scriptures ON PURPOSE, definite sincere prayers, writing in my prayer journal, or much of anything spiritual. I mean, I'm TRYING ... but when I fall off the wagon, it takes me a little to get caught back up. #SucksToBeMe
  But I'm going to get back on board.
• I got caught up with the dishes. For, like, a day.
• I started doing laundry again. Just in time, since guess who ran out of underthings?
  ... Well, it WOULD have been me, but thank goodness I did laundry!
• I got to go up and hang with my Sis, Roxy (We call each other "sis," not because we're biologically or legally related, but because we KNOW that, deep down, we HAVE to be family. I mean, really, there's no other explanation for how weird we both are. Which is only compounded when he hang together -- even just chatting on Facebook. It's special. So very, very special.). We went to Powell's and bought books. Then we went to her favorite comic book store and I found the Jem and the Holograms Outrageous Annual. Then we went to eat Thai food. Bubbles was pretty well-behaved. There was one little breakdown when I didn't buy her LEGO or DUPLO, but it wasn't a full-blown tantrum. And she was VERY collected when, as we were driving (slowly), her door slid open. Yup, good times.
  It'd been a while since Roxy and I had been able to hang out. And it's always wonderful to spend time with her.
  On the way home, though, Bubbles had me sing "Tomorrow" (from Annie) about a million times ... and, eventually, she fell asleep for her much-needed (but rather short) nap. It was a good day.
• I got to take Bubbles to a birthday party for one of her friends from church. It was very fun.
  Bubbles is eager to go back for a playdate soon.
• PTC (Parent-Teacher Club) was moved up a day (Unfortunately, not all the parents got the message. Whoops!) and I took notes there.
• Bubbles and I made it to storytime at the library TWICE this week.
• My Visiting Teaching companion and I visited two sisters yesterday. It's always great to get to talk to them. (Yes, Bubbles was good for them. It helps when she plays on my phone. Ha ha.)
• My Mom came up to visit yesterday. And that was good. I taught her some basics in editing a PDF file.
• Bruise decided to switch from the cello to the violin. He actually practiced yesterday! and it'll be easier for him to transport on the bus (Let's face it, the 1/2-size cello is still nearly as tall as he is.)
• Bucket got a comb stuck in her hair last night. (LESSON: Don't comb your hair in bed in the dark. Please?) We got it out without her losing much hair.
• I finished some books. (And I started to take advantage of the fact that my Goodreads app on my phone lets you find (most) books by scanning their barcode.)

This morning, I called the school to let them know that Michael and I will pick up the kids after school (we're going to the pumpkin patch) ... and I got an answer that I'd emailed about yesterday
(long story short: I'd like to volunteer to help out with an upcoming fundraiser during school hours. I had to go to three people to find out if it'd be cool if Bubbles tagged along. Yes. THEN I needed to know what time Bruise and Bucket would be participating, since I'd PREFER to be there at that time. SO, I emailed and asked when [different animal groups, since that's how we keep track of the bilingual groups, since they have TWO teachers, from DIFFERENT continent ... which would be the grade that Bruise and Bucket were in LAST year] had specials (Music/P.E./Technology) ... It wasn't until about five hours later, I was standing in the middle of Fred Meyer and it hit me ... I HAD ASKED ABOUT A DIFFERENT GRADE'S SPECIALS. Whoops. ... So I had to send ANOTHER EMAIL to the gal, apologizing that I'm a complete dork and that I really DO know what grade my kids are in ... and she laughed and gave me the RIGHT time for MY kids' groups. *headdesk*)

And, with that in mind, it was great when the School-Family Liaison (who's a wonderful lady and the other gal's mom, by-the-by) asked me, "So, I'll be seeing you here at school today, then?"

 "Um, I wasn't planning on being there ... why?"

"It's the Jog-a-thon."

"I thought that was on the 30th. Isn't it?"

Then we both had a tense second where we glanced at our calendars and wondered, "What day is it? WHAT WEEK IS IT?!??" And we both started laughing.
Yeah, it's been a bit of a crazy month, so, yeah.

And I'm glad that I'm not expected at school today, since I'm still not showered or dressed.

I keep having really strange dreams.

Wednesday night, I had a two-parter ... I don't recall the other part as much. Mostly a bit surreal. A friend of the family announced that she and her husband were getting a divorce. And it was shocking, since they're both much older. But she assured me that it was fine. "We haven't done much stuff together for years. ... Besides, he'll be dead soon, anyways." O.o (No, that's so not the case in real life.)
But in the MAIN part, Michael told me that he wanted a divorce. And I spent (in my dream) most of the day in a sad funk ... then I finally knelt next to him as he sat in the green chair and tried to address him very seriously, which was hard since he had multiple cotton swabs stuck in his ears and nose (he took them out in a bit, though). And he reconsidered ... because it'd be too hard to pack up all our stuff ... and told me that he'd just been under a lot of stress lately. And we were cool again.

But, in real life, he did have to put up with me asking multiple times, "We're cool, right? You don't want a divorce, right? Because you'd tell me if you were unhappy, RIGHT?!??"

"We're cool. And maybe you should avoid Chinese food before bed. That dream sounded stranger than usual."
(See? He's totes used to my wacko dreams.)

Last night, I endured some crazy dreams, too.
In one, I was a teenager-y babysitter for a lot of kids. And I woke up (in my dream) to find that one front-section of my hair was about six inches shorter than the rest ... and sticking straight out to the side. The rest of my lock was lying on the bathroom counter. (I blame Bucket's comb adventure for that.) ... But I wasn't worried when I woke up, because my hair in my dream was a different color (a medium dark brown).

The other part of my dream was that I was in a hospital/compound-type area, carrying around my (huge, even in real life) purse, and I had to decide whether I was going to desert it (and whether I could chance taking my little, injured (maybe comatose) sister with me when I did ... or would I get caught). And there were people turning into zombies or something. And a lot had their hands cut off, but not the blades on them ... (which dream element is from a factoid that I read from a friend's feed on facebook about this Native American who, in the 1500s, had his hands cut off by the Spaniards ... so, when they came back, he led an army against them, with blades tied to his arms. Hard core, right? ... his name's Galvarino (lots of language in the write-up, be warned), by the by).

But, yeah, it wasn't the most relaxing of dreams.

I'm still trying to deal with the fact that I was unfriended by such a close friend ... but, well, obviously, I was more invested ... and I cognitively know that it's more of a reflection on her than of me. But, drat it if I don't miss her.
And I don't want to block her on Facebook, but it's ... really sad when I see that she's commenting a LOT more lately on posts of mutual friends.

But, yeah. If that's the worst thing that's gone on, I'm sure that I'll get over it. Eventually.

Oh! In happy-making, when I was at Powell's, not only did I find books to buy (like that was a worry. No, it wasn't), but I also found the violet-flavored mints and gum that I'd been really wanting to try ... AND they had some more of the LEGO Movie character keychains ... so I picked up UniKitty in her spacesuit (I already have angy UniKitty and BiznisKitty ... I did ALMOST pick up the seasick UniKitty one, but ... SPACESHIP!!!).
And, when you touch UniKitty's face, her horn will light up. So, when I went to make sure that Space UniKitty's horn works, I was a little shocked (in a good way) that HER HORN LIGHTS UP BLUE!!!

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

But, yeah, that's most of what's all gone on lately.

Mom's coming up today.

I have half the dishes done.
I'm sporting a 98% mastery of 5th grade math (yes!) on Khan Academy
I'm halfway up to getting caught up on scriptures.
I did Duolingo.
Still need to do Rosetta Stone; that'll be later.
I worked on Typing.com ... mostly so that I can run my kids' noses in HOW AWESOME THEIR MOM IS, WHAT?!??

Tomorrow, I'll have a meeting with the kids' teachers about what wasn't discussed at Curriculum Night (a lot ... because we only had 45 minutes scheduled. Yeah. Not the teachers' fault at all. And, well, as an Ed major and daughter of a teacher, I have lots of questions. And I made sure to let them know that I AM on their team and willing to help out with anything that I can!) ... then a few hours (where I'll clean the house and prepare Sunday School lessons and stuff) until I donate blood.
Then the big kids will get home. And there's a fundraiser for their school at a local eatery. AND it's the Strings program's kick-off (Go to the school, get instruments and music books, etc) ... and by then, it'll be time for bed.

Just in time to get up, get everyone dressed, do a quick devotional, run Bubbles to Grandma's house, run the kids to school, and volunteer for School Picture Day. *sigh*
It'll be good ... it's just a LOT of walking and crowd control.

But Michael will pick up Bubbles after work, so I won't have to run into the next town TWICE. Then, it'll be time for grocery shopping and cleaning the house a little more, making sure that we're prepared for General Conference (making cinnamon rolls, maybe?) ... then it'll be time for a good weekend.

Conference, doing part of the annual fire department scavenger hunt between sessions, more conference, ... we're going to try and take some cookies to a (less-active) friend's house (I don't know if HE knows that he's our friend ... but he will now, won't he? Mwhahaha), Michael will go to Priesthood session at the Stake Center (so he can actually pay attention) ... I'm considering having the kids watch it with me at home (yay streaming!) ... then Sunday will have the last two sessions of Conference. And I'll be more ready to study this conference than I have been before.
(This year, I did a 40-day challenge before Conference, where I read a talk a day (more or less) so that I am now more familiar with what was discussed and what I should know.
I also took my copy of the Ensign to Staples and had them laminate the front and back covers and spiral-bound the whole thing. It's such a great idea. As soon as November's Ensign comes out, you know what I'll be doing. And investing in more highlighters ... I had four highlighters, so I used them. Orange was quotes/stories, pink was suggestions/counsel, blue was blessings promised, and yellow was ... everything else. I really could have used at least one more color ... but I worked with what I had at the ready.)

I should go put on my face since I have a Visiting Teaching appointment to go to in a bit.
Don't want to scare anyone, ha ha ha.

Heinz Brand Catch-Up (j/k)

Okay, what have I been up to?

About 5'5" ... same since sixth grade. Har har har ...

But, really, let's see ...

Friday, was a little busy ... Michael got home from work after Bubbles and I were trying to get the house a wee bit cleaner (limited success, though). We finally watched "Home" so we could return it to his cousin. (Very cute. And not just because I think Jim Parsons is funny.)
Then we made sure that our temple clothing fit (and, no, my skirt didn't. I need to lose some inches for sure to get it to fit well).

We picked Bruise and Bucket up from school and took all the kids to Grandma's house (to spend the night. FREEEEEEDOM! Don't get me wrong, I love our kids. But it's nice to have a date-date without any children around) and headed up to Portland.

We stopped by Deseret Book. I got a new temple skirt (elastic waistband, so it's a little more forgiving) and I also picked up a copy of the Teaching, No Greater Call manual, since it's often referred to in the lesson outlines for my Sunday School class. We also saw on a crazy-good sale (nearly 75% off) a book that's by an author that we like (and his wife).
(Sure enough, I was able to find what I was searching for in the hardcopy manual ... so I can be better prepared for my lessons.)

We didn't end up needing to bring our temple clothes, since we opted to do Initiatories for the family names that I had in my bag (What? You don't print out family records, have the baptisms and confirmations done, then carry the uncompleted cards in your purse for a year? *bad great-granddaughter/great-niece*) ... I now have the Initiatories completed for two of my great-grandmothers (both of whom I actually met. One, Betty, died when I was four, but I remember her a little. The other one, Alma, I met the summer before my freshman year of high school ... It was due to that visit that I have a soft spot for reading the World Weekly News. :D). Michael had three names (great-grandfathers and my Nana's brother). I also did five names that aren't from my family ... they were all Hungarian and some of the ladies in the records were nearly 300 years old.

After the temple, Michael and I went to Outback Steakhouse (first time -- he had a gift card). It was good (especially the Coco-berry smoothie). We also tried the Bloomin' Onion. He had a sandwich and I had tacos. Everything was really tasty ... spendy, but good. I couldn't finish what I had ordered, so we had leftovers. LOTS of leftovers.

Saturday, we didn't sleep in ... we grabbed a voucher for Free Museum Day and headed up to the Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum. Michael had never been ... and it was a good time to go, since we could get in for free. It's a lot different going there without kids (you actually have time to read the signs, OH. MY. GOSH.) and I was able to lead him around a bit. We looked at nearly everything ... though it took us nearly four hours.

Then we stopped by The Pita Pit (our favorite) on the way to pick up the kids.
After we got home, I was tired and COMPLETELY FORGOT about the General Women's Conference broadcast. Whoops!

However, while Bruise and Michael ran to Target and the grocery store, Bucket and I cleaned out the kitchen fridge. Ew.

Sunday was mostly good. We had church. I taught my second lesson in my Sunday School class ... and was observed by the Ward Sunday School President (no pressure, right?) ... I emailed him later "So ... how'd I do?"

He responded, "How do you THINK you did?" (Can you tell that we're friends?)

I typed back, "Well, if you're judging success on how well we stuck to the lesson outline, abysmal.
"But, the students were participating and asking thoughtful questions ... It felt pretty good."

And he the told me that, yes, EVERYONE was participating (even one student who often doesn't) and that he agreed that it went well. Phew!

After we got home from church, I put on the YouTube feed of the Women's Conference session and took my notes on that. Bucket was ... a bit surly. I'm chalking it up to the fact that the kids and their cousins were up until 11 on Friday night. Because of that, and the fact that Bubbles was SHOUTING due to not wanting to fall asleep, we sent the kids to bed a little early ... where they all climbed into ONE bunk and Bruise ended up getting hit in the face by Bubbles, which caused him to bite his lip and there was BLOOD ... and Michael took care of that because I was on the phone with my mom.

(I'm so helpful. As Michael is steering Bruise to the bathroom, I call after them, "Put a drop of Helichrysum on it. It'll help with the bleeding," and assure my mom that, no, she doesn't need to hang up, Michael's got this, it's all cool.)

Michael and I are now four episodes into Gotham.

Jumping back, Michael took the kids to a baptism (Michael had been asked to give a talk at it) ... Bucket, though grumpy, opted to go Visiting Teaching with me. We met my VT companion there and we chatted while waiting (and waiting) for the sister we'd come to teach. She'd forgotten that we were coming (again ... After last month, where we waited for around 15-ish minutes, I thought that I'd cover my bases by texting her this morning. Apparently, I need to text right after church. Ha ha). she did come home ... 45 minutes later, but that was fine. K and I got to talk books in the meantime, so that was fine.

Bucket, though, had snitched my tablet out of my purse without asking, even though she had brought a book, so I wasn't thrilled about that. I instructed her that she SHOULD ask every time. And reminded her of the fact that she's grounded, so she KNOWS that the answer really is no. *sigh*

But, yeah, that's really most of Sunday.

Today ... I should clean the house.
I also need to run out and pick up milk.
And I need to pick up a card for a (retired) coworker of Michael's. A's wife passed on Friday.
Even though the company will be sending a card, Michael strongly feels that he should also send one from our family. And I agree. A was one of Michael's mentors when he started working at his company. It's good to let him know that there are bunches of people thinking of him.

I also wrote a couple of posts for my Sunday School blog ... I should email my students and let them know that those posts are up for them. And get the other email addresses for my other students. Wouldn't it be nice to let them be involved, too? :P

Then I should get caught up on reading my scriptures and get back in the habit of saying more prayers. And I should read the other manuals and prepare more for my class ... the usual.

And work more with Bubbles on reading and writing and numbers and colors ...

But I'm still loving my hair. ^_^

Yo-yo-yiggity-yo

Yeah, I know it's bad when my MOM says to me, out of the blue, "So, just how long has it been since you blogged?"

A long time.
A DANG long time.

So, let's see what's gone on, in a nutshell, since then.

CUE THE MONTAGE!

• My mom had another birthday. She's 29 again, which makes it awkward ... since I'm older than her. I know, I know ... She CLAIMS that she's 39 again now, but that only gives me four years and a few months until I catch up again.
  (Joking, joking ... she admits to her age. And not just because she gets a discount at the bread store. I just like to give her some ribbing about her being younger than me.)
  (And you have to realize that this is coming from ME ... the girl who still claims that her Nana is 57. Since Nana was 57 for YEARS. When she turned 80, I even sent her flowers that said "Happy 57th Birthday, Nana!" which REALLY confused her for a bit. And not just because she has dementia. Once I explained that I really DID know that she's NOT 57, she did think it was funny.)
• Bucket is worried about her Betta fish, Blue. His fins are getting really beat up. And he's not as active. But we've had him for a few years, so We're just going to make his end-of-life days as pleasant as possible. ... So I should probably clean out the fish tank.
• I was caught up in doing the dishes for a little while. Not anymore. And I have laundry up the wahzoo happening here (I have underthings in the wash so that I'll HAVE underthings tomorrow. Yeah, that's probably TMI ... but I WAS concentrating on getting the KIDS' stuff cleaned first. Oh well.)
• I was released from my calling as Nursery Leader in our ward (church congregation in Mormon-speak). I did FINALLY get that bulletin board (Apparently, they had installed a bulletin board MONTHS ago ... in some other room in the building. Ha! But ours was installed  on the 6th. And I busted my buns to get the bulletin board planned and put together before I was released ... which was officially done last week.)
• My new calling at church is Sunday School teacher for the 12- and 13-year-olds. There IS a manual, but it's online and there's just GUIDELINES as far as topics go. I feel quite ill-prepared ... but we'll see how it goes. (Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husbands, 'cause Allanna's in charge of teaching the youths!)
• I got together everything for Bruise and Bucket's registration for the local Strings classes. Bruise will be in the Beginners' level class again. Bucket has moved up to Intermediate. And I have their registration filled out, their scholarship applications done, the check written out ... so we're ready to turn this in before the due date!
• I started doing Khan Academy more. I've mastered K-4 math and am 74% through 5th grade math. (I had originally thought to start with Algebra. HA HA HA. No. My skills are waaaaay too rusty. But y'all should be proud of me for persevering. Math was not my forte ... because I feel quite intimidated by it. But I'm working my way through it.
• I'm also back into doing my DuoLingo ... but only German and Spanish. With my 15-day streak (so far), I got caught back up with all my skills and have even surpassed where I had been. It tells me that I'm 42% fluent in Spanish and 31% fluent in German. So that's nice.
• I FINALLY got our Rosetta Stone program installed on the computer. The main problem that I had was when I tried to install from online, the language packs were ALL incomplete. So I had to have their Customer Service help me (She deleted the incomplete packs and let me reinstall them anew from the discs I have). Phew!
• The kids FINALLY cleaned their room. FINALLY.
• Bubbles is starting "Mutti Preschool" -- My mom is now working with Bubbles to make sure that she's learning the skills she'll need for Kindergarten. Yesterday, they made a poster with a picture. They concentrated on words with the letter "o." Mom was actually impressed by how much Bubbles has already learned (huzzah!) ... though, little Homeskillet there really likes to make poop-jokes. So there you have it.
• I'm determined to change my hair again. People like the light blonde ... but, well, it really just doesn't FEEL like me. And the upkeep is a little crazy, since I don't like having visible roots that much. But it was a good experience.
• We went to the local Renaissance Faire last weekend. Bruise came home with a new wooden sword and shield. Bucket adopted a new "pet" dragon (I've taken to referring to her as "The Babysitter of Dragons."), and I got some perfume oils. Bubbles didn't make any requests, but she did wear her cloak from last year nearly the entire time.
• After the Faire, the kids went home with Mom C (who watched them) while Michael and I bought LEGO Minifigs (I totally have the banshee now. And she's awesome!) then went out to dinner with our friends Mark and Lacey (who are finally moving a lot closer than they've been!). It was lots of fun to get together with them.
• My van died on Thursday morning. Bubbles and I had driven (not far) to go shopping (Bruise needed a new watch -- and I got one on clearance for only a couple more dollars than just getting a watchband cost ... and I had bought and returned TWO watchbands by that point ... and I needed flour after having made 5 batches of playdough for the Nursery cupboard [If you really care, here's the rundown: Pink/Vanilla-scented, Orange/Wild Orange-scented, Blue/Peppermint-scented, Green/Lime-scented, and Purple/Lavender-Vanilla-scented]) ... so it was good that it was within walking distance and that I did have a stroller in the back. I locked up the van and left it in the parking lot and waited for Michael to get home from work to jump it so we could get it home. ...
  Friday, we took it to Les Schwab (after jumping it AGAIN) to see if it was the battery (which was under warranty) ... AND IT WAS. So, $3.55 later, I have a BRAND NEW battery in my van WHICH RUNS. I had such a crazy amount of relief running through me that it's a wonder I didn't faint. I know that it's totally a first world problem and all ... but I'm glad that it was fixed before I have to run the kids to Strings lessons (and, eventually maybe, LEGO Robotics in Bruise's case) AND that it was such a cheap fix. SERIOUSLY, it was awesome and I'm really thankful, since we'd been PRAYING a lot.
• Bad news - one of my aunts has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
  Good news - Her MRI showed that it's just that one bit and it should be taken out and treated and stuff soon. Another answer to prayers. Phew.
• Bubbles is a bit low in her iron-count, so I need to be working to get her to eat more iron-rich foods. But she's 28 pounds now (at 3 1/2 years), so that's good.
• Bruise had a few Cub Scout meetings. Last week was the bicycle rodeo. ... Bruise and Bucket have outgrown their bikes. Looks like Santa knows what to get them, huh?
• Michael got another promotion ... "But it doesn't come with a pay raise," he told me. And that was ... okay. I mean, it's great that they can charge more for his work and it's more responsibility ... then we learned that, no, it does have a raise. Which is nice. 
• We went to a friends' house for dinner Monday night. Another family in the ward who we like and have worked along with the parents in different callings. We had a BBQ and talked a lot and it was fun. The kids (theirs and ours) were jumping on the trampoline. Their 14-year-old son and I talked a bunch.
  (He's a joker, which is fun. I went to shake his hand and he finagled it so that I grabbed his forearm instead. Which made me laugh like when Robert Gere shuts the necklace box on Julia Roberts' hand in Pretty Woman. You can watch that on YouTube, that clip, if you don't know the reference.)
• Did I mention that Michael's spoiled me with LEGO?
  He bought me the Mystery Machine and the Big Bang Theory set. They're sitting on my printer right now. ^_^
• I was feeling so chipper friday, after the van's battery was replaced, that Bubbles and I baked Orange and Raspberry Sherbet cookies (it was out of a boxed mix). She had lots of fun. And I did, too, with my cute sous chef.
• Other, further back catch-ups: We met with my friend, Brooke, for lunch; we went to Pioneer Days in my hometown with my stepdad's nephew and his wife (both LOVELY people. Jeff, my step-cousin, REALLY wanted to buy "the princess" [Bubbles] cotton candy ... which he did. And, golly, that cotton candy was GINORMOUS. Jeff would have bought more than one, and I'm so glad that he didn't! It was big enough for our family to share ... I have a picture of Bubbles "helping" to hold it and ... well, it looks nearly as big as SHE is!); we went swimming at the local outdoor pool a bunch; Bruise and Bucket finished up their swimming lessons with Bob at the indoor pool ... We went to the Art and Air Festival (no henna tattoo this time). The kids and I went with Cousin Kathleen and her son to the Air and Space Museum in McMinnville. We got to visit Nana and that side of the family. We now have Nana's other couch. I had a PTC meeting (I have this month's coming up TOMORROW evening) where we met the new principal. We went to the kids' Open House at school and met their teachers. The kids have started school (Fourth graders. I have TWO fourth graders!). I got Visit Taught, which hadn't happened in a LONG time. We had a playdate over at Robyn's -- Bruise and Bucket played with her kids (Bubbles did for a bit then played on my phone) and Robyn and I got caught up and worked at setting up a shelf for homeschooling ... which is bittersweet, since Bruise and her son are besties and have always been in the same classes ... until now *sigh* ... It just means that I need to be more proactive about setting up playdates, right?
  Michael and Bubbles and Bucket also went to the Stake Daddy-Daughter camp-out last month. They had a great time.
  And Bruise had fun staying up late and getting to eat ice cream OUT OF THE CONTAINER, which was pretty awesome. ^_^
• We're working our way through The Chronicles of Narnia (saying that always makes me think of that SNL music video, "Lazy Sunday"). We're now into Prince Caspian, which means that (since we started with The Magician's Nephew) we're nearly halfway through the series.
• Michael and I are reading through the rest of L.J. Smith's Forbidden Game series. We just started the third and final book last night ... so, in a few more days, I can actually TALK to him about it. (TBH, he's still waiting for me to read through a few books [*cough**cough*The Scorch Trials, The Death Curse, The Kill Order, Hollow City, Jackaby, The Westing Game, etc *cough**cough*] so we can talk about THOSE.)
  He's also reading Code Name Verity and Ready Player One (we started that one together, so he's nearly halfway through it).
  I still need to also read The Night Circus before it's due back at the library. And I have, like, a metric ton of other books in my TBR pile. #BibliophleProbs
• I've been working to be better at reading my scriptures and praying and all ... so I have a prayer journal going. It seems to help me focus a little more as I'm writing my prayers down. I still say prayers, too. In case you were worried.
  I'm getting close to finishing Numbers in the Old Testament. Doctrine and Covenants were harder to get through, since it's not at all in chronological order. But, if I keep with this reading schedule, I'll be through the Standard Works by next fall.
  And I'm also more than halfway through the 40-day General Conference reading challenge. I try to stay a day ahead ... so when I got THREE DAYS behind, you know that I fell off the wagon there for a bit. BUT I'm caught up ... just need to get a day ahead again.
  

And so, you see that between taking care of kids, taking care of the house, trying to stay abreast of studying scriptures and foreign languages (well, just two for now), and getting sucked into Facebook and the internet, I didn't MEAN to neglect you. It just happened.

Now, I should do some math, German, Spanish, and then go shopping and drop off the kids' Strings registration and application for scholarships, then get Bubbles fed and down for a nap and read my scriptures and conference talks and pray and write in that journal and .... maybe take a nap, too.

Your "What's-Gone-On-In-the-Last-Two-Weeks-If-You-Really-Care" Update

So, yeah, it's been two weeks since I last blogged.
(Way to go, me ... sounds like I'm starting with a confession. I'm not Catholic, but I do have some friends who are ... and it's not like I haven't seen movies where a character is in Confession ... I digress. Like I always do.)

Okay, since June 9th ...

Well, I WANTED this to be a fun, chatty post, since I got back in touch with my high-school Theater teacher (also taught Writing for College, which was a great class, too). (No, I'm NOT trying to suck up, okay? I really did enjoy those classes AND having him as a teacher/friend. Geez, you guys.) ... where was I? Oh yes ... AND I would have really preferred, since I told him that I have a blog and he said that he'd be glad to read it, to have something witty and funny and well-drafted ... but, well, it is what it is (didn't Vonnegut say that? I find myself saying it a lot. And I think it's a quote ... Whatever. I've just gotten up and I can't brain yet).

Sorry, Mr. A. I really did want to be clever and awesome. But, well, at least you know that I didn't hire a ghostwriter or anything, right?

SO ... the kids are out of school for the summer. Bruise and Bucket had their well-child check-up. They're current on their shots (Bucket had pumped herself up to be prepared for a vaccination, though I was pretty sure she didn't need one, so she was bummed NOT to get a shot. ... Yup, that's my girl).
That's how we started Summer Vacation -- go to the doctor's, then take the kids' to Grandma's house (while Mom and Dad go to a meeting [read that: get to a meeting rather late because the guy in charge of getting information only told us the [City] Stake Center, not an address. So we went to the church building in [City], then had to call our sister-in-law to figure out where we (and another ten cars) SHOULD be ... which meant that we were BARELY on time. Which meant that Michael had to listen to me grouse about how I HATE being late. Poor guy. At least we got to eat at the Pita Pit for dinner, so it wasn't terrible. And the meeting was good [about missionary work]).

Backtracking -- the kids had a fun time at their class trip to OMSI. I was feeling guilty about not going with (but then I'd have to run Bubbles up to Mom C's, run the kids and myself BACK into town, drive up to OMSI -- most likely carpooling, so then I'd have to drop off everyone BACK at the school and run BACK UP to Mom C's, AND THEN go back home) ... however, since I found myself being VERY GOOD FRIENDS with Mr. Toilet that day, I didn't feel so guilty.
(I would have said that I didn't feel so bad, but that would have been a lie. Since I was NOT feeling good by any means. Not for a while.)

I've agreed to be PTC (Parent-Teacher Club) Secretary for the 2015-2016 school year.
Sounds like the meetings will be moved to Tuesday evenings, which mostly work better for me. Michael can pick up the kids (and take Bucket to her Activity Days twice a month) ... I'd better prepare a metric crapton of slow cooker meals.
It also sounds like there'll be a morning meeting once a month. I'm sure they'll get used to me in pajamas, schlepping my brood in. (I jest, I jest. But I WILL be rocking a ponytail with my I-threw-this-on-right-before-running-to-the-car ensemble.)

Before the kids went down to stay a week with grandfolks (they stayed with my dad and L Monday; then, until Friday, they were with my mom and stepdad), we did the kick-off for the city summer activity/scavenger hunt/passport program/thing. It's actually really fun. You get a little passport and go around (mostly downtown) and collect stamps from participating businesses. At some places, you need to do something to earn your stamp. At others, you get to make something (like at the paint-you-own pottery, you paint a little trinket [which you'll come back later to pick up, after it's been put into the kiln and cooled. Or, at a coffee shop/deli, (at least last year) kids made their own, free, Italian soda. Or you had to shoot so many baskets on the court at the YMCA. Stuff like that]). Some are out a little ways -- in one, you go to a historic mill, which makes a nice day trip. it's fun to go on the tour and into the little interpretive center -- grind some flour by hand. Maybe feed the chickens and turkeys ...

But, yeah, Bruise, Bucket, and Bubbles had fun spending the week with grandfolks. They all came back happy, tired, and sunburned (I know they did put on sunscreen. They were JUST in the sun that much).

While they were gone, I had high hopes of laying in bed and reading all day (like I could do pre-kids). Instead I did small bursts of cleaning ... and got my hair colored.
Tuesday, I went through the kids' outgrown clothing and got that sorted. Then I went to the salon for my appointment. I'm now even blonder (working towards platinum, since that's one of the [few] colors I haven't done) and sporting some fun streaks. We tried to do teal, purple, and pink ... but the pink didn't take at all. So I have fun teal and purple streaks (hadn't done purple streaks before. I've done teal, but only on the bottom-most layer of hair. And that was years ago) happening.
Then Michael and I went to see Jurassic World (which was good despite not starring Dr. Ian Malcom. Though, trivia says (and I missed it), that Jeff Goldblum's picture IS featured on a couple books held by two characters in the film).

Wednesday, I cleaned up the house a bit and organized a freezer (which NEEDED to happen, because I was sick and tired of foisting off an impeding avalanche EVERY time I opened that stinkin' freezer), since we were feeding the missionaries. One of the elders is going to be going home soon. Which is a bummer (for us) since he's really fun. But we know that his family misses him, so we'll deal.
After dinner, we went to Home Depot to go pick up supplies for Thursday evening ...

Thursday, I spent around four hours cleaning up the kids' room. Two bags of stuff to donate. Another FULL bag of trash, countless passes with the vacuum on every bit of floor that I could reach, cleaning off the BIG shelves ... and their room was clean. BUT ONLY HALF OF THEIR ROOM.
(We worked on the other half of the floor and the closet on Sunday. Happy Father's Day, Honey!)

Then I went shoe shopping. I ended up with a pair of sneakers (goal), a pair of dress shoes (secondary goal), a pair of nice flip-flops, and a new shirt (bonus!) And some new socks. And a swim cap to protect my dye job (which sort of worked).

Thursday night, we spent building Bubbles's new bed, since she bent the frame of her (used) toddler bed by jumping on it. Whoops. Michael cut the boards, I sanded the boards. We ran to Home Depot again (another board and more sandpaper). We bolted the thing together and screwed down the plywood ... If a bomb should happen, that bed might burn to the ground. But it'll burn to the ground as a thing SOLIDLY BOLTED TOGETHER. Doesn't even shake or shiver when I sit on it.

Friday, I went to work with Michael. I helped Paige (the office manager) by collapsing cardboard boxes (which brought back memories as I used the boxcutter. Even though it's been around 20 years, I still know how to employ boxcutter safety. Thank you Shop Smart and your [kinda boring] safety videos). Then we took out the recycling ... which, being Paige and me, was filled with giggling and nearly dropping bags of precariously-piled bags of magazines and newspapers. She's totally fun to hang with. And I got to meet her son in the survey department (Lest you misunderstand, this is NOT a large company. I think they have about 15-20 employees. But I hadn't met everyone ... usually since, if we come with the kids, I work to take the kids out to the stores in the complex or the park, so that Michael can actually get some work done. That and we never can turn down a trip to Trader Jo's. :P).

After work, we got lunch (even though Cafe Yumm did mess up our order a little. It was still delicious.) and headed down to my hometown. We collected the kids so we could check into the hotel (and give my mom a chance to rest -- between taking care of the kids AND my stepdad [who has dementia], she was exhausted. Poor girl).

We checked in, got settled, waited for my aunt and my cousin's daughter (who Aunt J is taking care of this summer) to come, then we went swimming.
Since I mentioned that my swim cap mostly worked, instead of having nice delineated technicolor streaks, they turned into more ... mermaid hair. Which isn't BAD by any means. Just a little different.

After that, we got dressed and ready and headed back to Mom's for dinner.
After eating and the kids (Cousin + my munchkin brigade) playing, we headed back to the hotel, took a small tour of the casino, and went to bed.

Michael joked that, "Hey, maybe this is the room that Mike Rowe stayed in a few weeks back." But I had to break it to him that, no, THAT hotel is the one across the highway.
(Though, it WOULD have been awesome to be able to make that claim. Heck, I think that THAT hotel should get a little brass historical event plaque for the door: "On ___, 2015, Mike Rowe slept in this room." We could use the added tourism, I'm sure.)

Saturday, we started back fro home, making a stop at Wildlife Safari (If you have a membership at the Oregon Zoo [Ours is almost ready to expire], you can get your admission for 1/2 price. #TheMoreYouKnow) So we made it worth our while. Then we scouted some stores for another LEGO set that's all sold out up here. No dice. And we got some fast food for the drive home.

We got the sad news that Michael did not pass his HUGE engineering test that he took back in April.
He'll be taking it again, next April.
Please send prayers, good thoughts, happy muju, whatever.
Passing this test (next year) will make him a full-fledged Civil Engineer.
Which is what he's been working for.
(I'm just irritated that OSBEELS is dumb in not letting you know your actual score or what you missed or anything. Just a Pass/Fail. Which isn't very helpful. How can you gauge how much you need to improve? Bah.)

Bubbles loves her new bed. The kids are enjoying their clean room (still need to go through three dressers -- hoping to get Bucket's clothes into ONE dresser, so that the other dresser can START housing Bubbles's clothes -- getting THOSE out of OUR room -- AND one set of shelves. THEN they will have a CLEAN-clean room.
And they'll just have to do maintenance on it ... or face the wrath of a frustrated mommy. (A fate worse than death!)

We wished everyone (Michael's dad, my stepdad, my dad, and my Grampy) a happy Father's Day on Sunday. The little craft that the kids in Nursery did for the dads was well-received (the kids did a handprint on a page that said "Daddy, I'm hooked on you." We added a googly eye and orange lips to make the handprints into fish. I made it about as simple and easy as possible. just had to ink up the kids' hands, make the prints, wipe off the hands, let dry, draw on lips with an orange marker, glue on the googly eye, and let dry. Most of them were even done last week. Even better).

Yesterday, we did some chores while Michael was at work. Then we went to a Health Fair, to the library, and back home. The big kids worked on Duolingo (Spanish) and khanacademy (math) and read a bit. And played outside with a neighbor.
Then we went to their swim lesson, where they had fun with Bob.

Today (and the rest of this week) will be more of the same -- housework, not forgetting everything they learned last year, playing ... and doing some of the town passport program.

As I type all this out, I realize that I have a vaguely boring life. But ... well, I like it.

Because, unfortunately, there are much worse alternatives.
Like what happened in my hometown Saturday night.

I don't know how much it's been on the news, but there was a shooting.
In my small hometown.
Which left my cousin's best friend's husband dead.
By his nephew (who was one of my classmates since Kindergarten).

Both the victim, JP, and BF, who shot him are family members of a couple that are in my home Ward (church congregation, if you're not LDS) family.
J is the son of this couple. B is their grandson.

And we're just left reeling. Because ... how could this have happened?
My cousin's BFF went from having a perfect, happy family to being a widow in seconds. And she witnessed the whole thing. I can't imagine how she's feeling.
And poor N (the mom/grandma) ... because she and her husband are some of the nicest, kindest people around ... nobody deserves for this to happen, least of all them.

I keep hoping that this is just some crap nightmare. But it's not.

And I can't wrap my head around this.
BF was a nice guy.
When we were in Kindergarten together, after school, we'd walk the block north from the school, then part ways (he towards his grandma's house about a block away to the west, me further north to my house).
"See you in a million years!" he'd call as he crossed the street.
"No, see you tomorrow," literal-minded little me would call back.

And, in middle school, when he was in the popular group and I was not ... One time, in P.E., he came up to me after another less-than-pleasant bout of existence with some of the in-crowd kids.
"You know," he told me, "you could be popular."
"What?" I replied. As quick on the uptake as ever. Typical Allanna.
"You could be popular, too. If you drop [friend's name] as a friend."
(I mean, I didn't make that choice. But I knew that BF didn't have to tell me that. And that he did because he saw what was going on. And I was sure that he remembered how we were friends in elementary school ... and that ... well, it's not the type of thing someone without empathy and caring would do.)

Even on Facebook, now, people are all commenting that they can't believe that BF would ever do something like that. He was So-and-so's friend. He was always a good guy. ...

... what happened?

And I keep wondering if there was something that I could have done.
I mean, after middle school, we weren't close or anything. We were in the same school and we'd say "hi" to each other when we saw each other. But we didn't move in the same circles, really.
But I always thought of him as a friend.

I mean, I was DOWN in our hometown that day.
If I knew then what I do now, I'd have worked to track him down and talked to him.

But, I mean, what could I have said ... "Hey, later tonight, don't shoot your uncle. AT ALL. Not even once, let alone a bunch. M'kay? That'd be great. So, how's it been going for the last decade or so? You doing okay?"

Not very realistic, I know. But ... could I have been a better friend to him? Was he even on Facebook? I could have sent him a friend request ... let him know that I always remember him fondly, since we were friends a long time ago. That I appreciated that he offered me that chance at being in the in-crowd when nobody else really seemed to care (except jumping at the chance to make my friend's life pretty awful).

Michael tells me there's really nothing that I could have done differently.
Which is true. Unless I had a time-machine or something ...

Which then makes me wonder WHY this happened? HOW could this happen?
This is the kind of thing you read about.
It's not something that you can prepare yourself for in advance (well, not and remain mentally healthy).

And I find myself, squatting to find refried beans or tomato sauce in the pantry cupboard and wondering, "What am I doing with my life??? Why am I even here ... what's the significance of my existence right now? I should be doing something ... and ..."
And then I have to get on with my life because I have three kids who need to be fed and a husband to assist and a cat to snuggle (so she won't get all anxious and pee in the laundry pile or over-groom herself. Seriously, I cannot believe that out of all of us, it's the CAT that has a prescription for Prozac. Obviously, this is the perfect cat for me. Obviously.)

However, I think that it's time to escape into a book sometime today.
I have a pile of library books that need to be read ... but I'm feeling the need to jump into a tested-and-true old friend. Something familiar. Something safe. Something that will be good to read while Bubbles is napping.

I mean, I have faith that there's an overall plan. And that we all are going to learn and grow from this ... horrible ... happenstance.

But, still, I really wish it hadn't happened at all.

When I am benevolent dictator of the world, all conflicts will be dealt with hugging-it-out. Or maybe pie-eating contests. Or staring contests whilst eating dark chocolate (unless one is allergic. To chocolate. I've not yet heard of anyone being allergic to staring ... but what do I know?).

Okay, it's been ages and ages since I last blogged.

And I don't even really know where I SHOULD start. So we'll go for the middle and flesh things out from there.

I looked at my last post ... the van was fine. When Michael got home, he turned the ignition and it started right up. Yeah, it must just like him better. Or I left a light on and then it was able to charge itself up enough or something ... But regardless, I got to take it out to the next town and have a by-myself-Ulta-shopping trip and come home. And we made it to pick up the kids from Strings practice and all. So that's that.

Since then ... it's been over a month ... Sorry.

Um ... okay, time for bullet points:

• Still in Nursery. I'm now the head honcho of the Nursery leaders (taking over for one whose life is ... a bit complicated right now. She's been trying NOT to get a divorce, but, well, ... yeah. I feel terrible for her. Especially since, on Facebook, her spouse is making it sound like she's being really unreasonable. And, as a child from a broken home, I GET that sometimes you do all the work that you possibly can, but if the other half of the marriage isn't willing to also meet you halfway, ... you get really burnt out.)
• Found ONE louse on Bubbles's head yesterday morning. Treated her (yay for Licefreee!, it's seriously THE BEST) and washed her bedding and all. Haven't seen anything else on the other kids. And, since my mom was up, she checked MY head ... we're all clear. Bubbles must have picked that one up from another Nursery friend OR from the carpeted floor (a gift from the previous ward's Nursery class, maybe?). Regardless, I'm glad that it was JUST the one and that it's over. ... If I never see another louse in my life, it'll be too soon.
• The kids are almost out of school. They had their big end-of-the-year awards assembly.
  Bucket was recognized for participating in the GOTR 5K (with Michael as her running buddy) and running the most laps in the PM group, participating in Strings, writing in English, reading in English, music, and good behavior and attendance. Bruise was recognized for participating in Strings, good behavior and attendance, and most laps run in Track Club.
• As mentioned above, Michael and Bucket participated in the GOTR 5K a couple weeks ago. They walked it, for the most part. But they had fun. Bucket's ready and excited for the next time she gets to do it. And I'm thinking that Bruise and I might also register for the 5K so we can do it as a family (with Bubbles in a jogging stroller).
• One of Bruise and Bucket's teachers this year was baptized into our church. We were able to attend her baptism ... since Mrs. K is ALSO the stepmother of one of our friends (Brooke and I have been friends since late 1999. And I only JUST put it together a couple months ago that they're family. Mrs. K and I are thrilled at the extra connection ... well, I think she's thrilled. I know that I sure am).
• We had a brush with Poison Oak. Good times. (NOT.) Last month, as we cleaned up one side of the yard, we pulled out a vine. And Michael started itching. He thought it was just hives from Oak or something. ... Then, the day of the kids' Strings Concert, Mom and I noticed a rash on Bruise's FACE. So I took him in. The physician's assistant knew right away from my arm and Bruise's face that it wasn't hives ... So Bruise went on Prednisone. And it cleared right up. Michael's hands and arms cleared up pretty well ... but my body freaked out. I had it on my forearms (I was wearing gloves but only a short-sleeved shirt), a bit on one ankle, and on one breast (from scratching, I guess). And then my left arm started to swell and was hot to the touch ... so I went in and saw my lovely, lovely doctor. And then I went on Prednisone, too. And WOW, it worked really well. I don't know if it was just the immensity of my relief at not ITCHING CONSTANTLY or what, but I was pretty loopy (like, VICODIN-loopy) for the next 24 hours or so. Good times.
• Bruise and Bucket are done with Strings for the school year. Bruise seemed to get a little burned out at not being absolutely awesome at it (but, if he chose to practice the cello, that'd go a long way). Bucket seems to have natural talent with the violin ... which is why she'd been asked to perform in a couple extra assemblies this year.
• Bruise did really enjoy participating in the 3rd-grade lunchtime LEGO Robotics club. He's already put in his application to join the official 4th/5th grade teams.
• You could probably already tell that both those two enjoyed running, whether in Track Club or Girls On The Run.
• Bubbles is talking more and more. She likes to laugh and dance. She feels that any day is vastly improved by wearing a tutu. And her tantrums and pouting are quite epic. ("Though she be little, she be FIERCE," as stated by Shakespeare.) But, for the most part, she's quite sunny and personable ... and, if she's wearing panties, she's staying dry quite well.
• Michael and I will be building her a new bed, since she's broken/bent-beyond-repair her (used) metal bedframe for her toddler bed by JUMPING on her bed.
• We've replaced our curtains in the front room with new curtains with NEW rods. The old curtains were patterned like the bark of birch trees. One was sporting a cut (thanks to a toddler Bucket). And the old rods were ... old and falling apart. We now have oil-rubbed bronze double rods (for the light-reducing curtains and the sheers -- now the kids can't bend/break the tension rods that the sheers used to hang from). It looks MUCH better. And we feel SO OLD/ADULT having actual window treatments and all.
  Michael also built me a bookshelf in the front room. We took down the kids' folding tables (that were just piled up with their STUFF) in the front room ... We have a LOT more open space now. It feels a lot less cluttered ... and we moved one bookshelf into the dining room, where it's filled with school-type things (workbooks, etc.). And I cleaned up the big bookshelf in the bedroom ... it's not at all organized, but you can SEE books now, so that's a good thing. And I'm surviving without it being alphabetized like it's always been. But that's a project for when we build in a bookshelf there instead, I think. 
• I still miss my friend, Kim M ... I know that it's been a while since she passed. But I keep finding myself missing her. A few days ago, I watched "The Decoy Bride," which we had watched when we made cinnamon rolls together ... not that she overly enjoyed it. Poor Kim. But I found myself missing her so much later that evening.
• One of my friends was in the state for a short visit. But she was busy enough that she didn't call or text me. And I hadn't called or texted her because I didn't want to interrupt any of her plans and visits with her other friends. I mean, I miss her, yes. But I get that she has a PACKED schedule and that it's not all about me. I don't want to be a needy friend. But I am bummed that I didn't get to see or talk to her at all. But, well, that's part of being an adult and all, right?
• Michael had his birthday. We got him the Blu-rays of the Jurassic Park trilogy. And a Jurassic Park shirt to go with it. We also ate cheesecake. And went out for a birthday lunch to eat Mexican food. It was a good day.
• Sunday, after church and some cleaning, I was just exhausted. So I ended up laying down for a nap. And I woke up nearly three hours later. Whoops.
• I've been working to keep up with Duolingo. I'm learning Irish, French, Spanish, and German. I find German easiest, since that's what I studied in high school and college. I've gotten much better with Spanish. I'm still not very good at French, but I'm getting better ... especially at reading it. And I'm rather pants at Irish. Its grammar structure and even word structure are so very DIFFERENT from any of the other languages that I'm learning. But I'm enjoying it all for the most part.
  Oh, hey, since I actually logged on to it on my computer (instead of my tablet, as usual), I can tell you that I'm 30% fluent in German, 47% fluent in Spanish (how did that happen?), 24% fluent in French, and ... not fluent enough to even GET a percentage point for Irish (not surprised, ha ha).
• I've also got Bruise and Bucket started on working on KhanAcademy.org ... I figure that earning new avatars AND competing with each other is a good way to get them to keep learning this summer. Maybe it'll even help them prepare for their school testing ... we'll see. and they can even work on learning to program (which will help Bruise with the LEGO Robotics club. IF he's accepted, that is).

Okay, I think that's most things. Hopefully.
I'm tired and out of the ability to craft words together well ... or so spellcheck is telling me. Ugh. Whatever.
Time to go do dishes or something useful. Maybe nap ... napping sounds good.

Catching up ...

You can be assured that I'm NOT dead. Just ... busy/lazy/both.

So, we left off with Bubbles about to turn three.
That totally happened.
We had a pre-party with Mom and J (C didn't come. Wasn't feeling like traveling). The kids all got some presents and had fun being with my mom and J.
The party-party was on the weekend.
Our friend, Robyn, made a delicious duo of Frozen cakes. One was Anna and one was Elsa. And they were awesome. Our family was really impressed. (As they should be.)

Let's just list a lot of the rest that I've neglected to blog about (until now):

• I went to a (boring, but educational) meeting about the new state testing that Bruise and Bucket will be doing. We'll see how testing goes. ... I really kind of hate meetings. But, hey, at least Robyn was there (and her friend, D), so I had some friends to talk to. AND I was able to return Robyn's dishes (from the cakes) back to her.
• Bruise lost his Bear (Cub Scout) kerchief slide. Oh well.
• Bucket's started Girls On the Run. She's enjoying it a lot. Michael's training to run the 5k with her. Because, we know that I'm not a happy runner ... especially since my stupid ankle is still kind of stupid (but healing bit by bit, right?).
• Bubbles is talking more and more. Which is nice.
• We have new missionaries ... elders, not sisters now. So, they can't come over to wash their clothes, but we've taken them out to dinner and have gotten to know them a bit. Good guys. I like them. (Also, it's SO WEIRD to be older than the missionaries. And, Michael and I keep getting closer and closer to reaching the age of the missionaries' parents! Oy and vey! I'm like the CRYPTKEEPER!)
• So, you know how I mentioned a few months back that we FINALLY bought ourselves a new mattress (for the first time ever? How we'd only had hand-me-down mattresses before)? Well, we FINALLY bought box springs for that mattress. ... And we splurged on one of those adjustable beds, which has helped a lot with Michael's heartburn. The kids think it's the COOLEST thing, being able to raise the head and foot of the bed. Freyja-cat likes that she can hide UNDER the bed.
  (We had thought of buying some risers, so we would have more under-bed storage ... Yeah, NO. Our bed is CRAZY HIGH. Like 6-8 inches above our nightstands. We need taller nightstands now. #It'sAlwaysSomething).
• Michael and I had our 14th Anniversary. We headed down to Ashland. We ate at Larks (brunch ... it was a splurge, but SO WORTH IT. There was a salad that we split. Michael had the Farm Platter. I ordered the pear and bacon sandwich ... SO FREAKING GOOD.) We also stopped by The Pita Pit, which is always delicious. We tried an Asian restaurant by Lithia Park, which was okay. (Hard to compete with Larks, not gonna lie). We also watched the Oregon Shakespeare Festival's "Much Ado About Nothing." ... Very fun. Dogberry on a Segway. I don't have to say much more, really. ^_^ And we FINALLY made it to the Oregon Caves (no windows exploded in the process ... unlike LAST time Michael and I wanted to go, when Bruise and Bucket were wee ones). We also bought a lot of books ... are you really that surprised?
• Last week was the kids' Spring Break from school.
  Michael took Monday off and we took the kids to watch Frozen Fever/Cinderella ... then I had them watch "Ever After" for a compare/contrast. (They don't know which version they like better. ... I don't think I do, either.) Cleaned house on Tuesday. Mom came up on Wednesday and we took the kids out to lunch and to a toy store. Thursday was a mostly lazy day, but we did go to Costco and buy "Into the Woods." Friday was a WIC appointment and hanging around. 
• Michael's done a bit of home improvements around the place. We have our hanging door (with mirror on the inside) up for our master bathroom. He also installed a new deadbolt and door knob (the deadbolt is one of the key-code types. Best thing EVER). He cleaned the gutters (we need Home Depot to stock more of the gutter sponge-things so that they STAY clean. Get on it, Home Depot!!).

And that mostly brings us up to the present. Bruise and Bucket are at school. Bubbles is watching a Barbie DVD. I need to do dishes and laundry, prepare a meal for another family's dinner, read library books, call a grandfather to wish him a happy birthday ... stuff like that.

Maybe get a nap where I DON'T dream. That sounds like a good idea.