Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Insomnia strikes again!! Lady-stuff and poop discussed. (The poop's not mine, though)

So ... this is not the most MALE-FRIENDLY post ... so, um, if you're not sporting double X-chomosomes, just be aware, okay? I'm not TRYING to skeeve you out. I'm just saying it like it is, okay?

First - I hate my period. Because it fills my head with angry bees, for lack of a better term. I'm hormonal. Moody. I lack motivation ... unless it's the motivation to get depressed about what a jerk/loser/poeser I am, etc., etc., so forth.
Yeah, not a great time to be me.

BUT, here's something funny:
So, I'm the type that I would rather be open with my kids about human biology and such, you get what I mean? It's not like my kids stay away when I'm in the bathroom ... In fact, that seems to be the time that they SEEK ME OUT. (Note to self: Why is that? Srsly, what gives?!?) ...

So, I'm inserting an article of "feminine protection," per se, with the kids quizzing me about completely unrelated things. And Bunny asks, "Mommy, what that??" as I'm tossing away the garbage.

So, to let her know that Mommy's not hemmoraging or HURT or anything, I calmly explain that ladies, when their bodies are able to have babies, bleed. It's totally normal and happens once a month. It doesn't hurt. It's nothing to worry about.

"Ladies? Bleed?"
"Not daddies?"
"Nope, not daddies."

... And later, when I was in the bathroom, she points out and says in a tone full of pity and compassion, "Oh, Mommy, oh. You bleeded your panties. Poor Mommy. Next time you get M."
(Because when Bunny or Bruise pee or poop in their diapers, that's pretty much the talk we give -- 'Too bad you went in your diaper. Oh well. Next time, when you go in the toilet, you can earn an M [M&Ms]'). It made me laugh.

AND I did give her the talk about NOT talking to people about my cycle ... that we do NOT talk to people about our private regions, per se. (I use the anatomical names for them ... which is why, on occasion, my son has come up to me and pointed out his pen!s. ... At least I know that he's listening. As, when I put a diaper on him, he'll tell me that his pen!s needs to be down.)

Oh!! Oh!!! Bruise went POOP on the TOILET!!!!! YES!!!
YESTERDAY night!!!

So he's been happily working at wearing his underwear (insert Bunny's adamant "[Bruise] no wear panties. [Bruise] wear UNDARWAAARES!!!!!) -- Transformers and Thomas the Train, and playing with his new Bumblebee robot.

And, since when the kidlets go poop, I give them five Ms (as opposed to the ONE they get when they go pee) ... I gave Bruise his five hard-earned Ms ... and he immediately gave two of them to Bunny. (cue: AWWWWWWwwwwww!!!!!1!) He didn't have to do that. I know that I wouldn't have. But it was very sweet and warmed my cold, dead heart.

Well, I'm starting to get tired. And COLD. So I'm going to head to bed (again).
But that new pillow is totally doing its job. Yay!

Michael pulled a muscle in his back Sunday, though. Booo!
He stayed home from work to recuperate. (whispered yay!! ... because I like having him home.)

I've gotten through a few books this weekend (double-yay!)
I've also folded a LOT of laundry (another double-yay!!)
I haven't done dishes (Booooooooo.)
Michael still loves me (YAY!!!!!)

I need to pack tomorrow. And make a cheesecake. And have FHE (Family Home Evening). And do the stinkin' (starting to be literal. Ewwww.) dishes. And take the kidlets to storytime. *sigh* I can do it. I can do it. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ....


Cori said...

Ohhhh...do I remember the potty training years. A bit of advice - Don't put cheerios in the toilet for your little boy to try and sink. My little boy sunk his, then promptly stuck his hand in the toilet eating the ones he could catch....yuuuuuuck! I still get sick thinking about it and this was 16 years ago!

Brooke said...

It sounds like your cycle might be more than just the average amount of disconfort and insanity. I would suggest you go see a doctor about this, but I know you dont have insurance. Damn pre-eclampsia.

I have noticed that when you are on your period it seems to dominate your whole world. Sweetie, I think your PMS is more prevalent than the normal individual. It isnt a bad thing.... but a doctor could help.\

you cant go to a doctor though, so DR Brooke will have to help. Valerian Root is supposed to calm you down when PMSing. You can buy it in pill supplement form (I bet GNC has it). Exercising while PMSing helps. Stay away from sweets and fats (I know you are making a cheesecake...I would still eat it...haha).

Good luck

and let me know if you get your Ms

Allanna said...

Cori - Yeah, That would be pretty foul. I try and teach the kidlets not to EVER reach in the toilet. ^_^

Brooke - Yeah, I should take some Valerian. I used to take it. Probably should again.
And exercising is something I keep meaning to do. It's good to have an extra reminder.
I usually forget that since my cramps aren't dehabilitating, that my PMS might be rather more intense than other gals'.
However, Katie's suggestion of writing down things that make me happy was a big help, too.

Maybe I'll be much happier after I've gone through menopause. :P Who knows?

Allanna said...

And Bunny's given me imaginary treats. So, I guess that's my Ms. :P

Cynthia said...

Oh honey, I know PMS can be bad! I'm a total bear during that time! People who really know me can tell it's that time of the month just because I get really impatient with them. I can also be very very short and sometimes, I can also be rude! We should create a club of some kind : "The PMS bears" or something like that!

What I do is take some valerian and TRY to relax (not always easy to do with 2 kids I guess but hey, just taking a hot bath and reading can help)

What I can do is give you a great big hug from thousand miles away ^_^

Allanna said...

Yes, Cynthia, we should start a club of PMS lady-bears! That's an excellent idea.

And I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who goes a little bit crazy that time of the month. ^_^

Anonymous said...

I'm in withdrawl... I miss the wit and cynicism. Where is it!? It's been gone for over four days... BRING IT BAAAAAACK.

(P.S. I know you were away. But I know you're home now... Gimme da bloggins!)

(P.P.S. I am not crazy. KTHXBAI!)

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