Why I'm so bushed ...

Exhibit A (prior to haircut):



I mean, seriously, he's sporting the Hank Green haircut (when Hank's let it get a little long. I totally sound like a stalker, but hey! I LIVED for Brotherhood 2.0 last year.)

Post-haircut:


I mean, really ... I know that I might be a little biased, but my little man is frakkin' ADORABLE! Is he not amazingly handsome?? (Brad Pitt, eat your heart out! And Hugh Laurie, you've got some serious competition ... Especially if my son ever develops that plummy Brit accent. *fans self*)

Now, since I've alluded to it ... WHY, really, am I so bushed? Why am I tired? Has he stopped sleeping through the night? No, I mean, he'll sometimes wake and need to be put back in his bed/tucked in/taken to the potty ... but nothing serious there.
Has he started running down the street? Well, really, I'd have to take him outside (or leave the screen door unattended. There was that one time ...), but everything's cool there.

No. Here's the deal. I'm at the computer. Michael's in the kitchen. Backs are turned for a second. And THEN, crying, blood, and a general cry of "whither the fries?!?!?"

Michael rushes Bruise to the bathroom to try and assess the damage. I scan the kitchen -- no knives left out, no kitchen shears or scissors left in his reach (Not even if he started to climb the counter), no sharp edges on the dishwasher, cupboards or fridge. What could it be??

Bruise is calling for me, so we try to calm him down, clean Bucket's face (so maybe my hands will stop shaking -- I can handle blood. I do get nervous, though. And adrenaline ... well, it's pumping just RECALLING yesterday. So I'll be correcting this entry a LOT), cuddle Bruise while Michael tries to hold the thumb-pad skin-flap down and slow the bleeding. After about a minute, Bruise lets me hold him under one arm (while he's sitting at the bathroom counter) and I can put a bandage over his thumb and tape it in place. (All those first-aid classes I took with mom -- since teachers have to know first-aid -- are in my mind. My first priority is to stop the bleeding. And I gave him some ibuprofen. If it were less serious, that would have gotten him calmed down asap.) I've already called the doctor and we're ready to meet him in the next town as soon as we can get there.

The bandage I have on there is working. And a popsicle calms him down. We try to quiz him on what happened, how he sliced his thumb (No pictures of that. Sorry. I figured that my first priority was to stop the bleeding. You got pictures of Bucket's lip because the bleeding had stopped and was under control. Not this time.) ... He wasn't giving us answers that we could piece together. We tried to figure if he had cut it on the cupboard (it didn't LOOK like a pinch, but maybe?) or some hardware on the fridge or dishwasher ... Bucket kept trying to talk to us ... Not that she knew what had happened. Finally we gave up and let her tell us the story of Jonah ("The fish spit Jonah out. *retching noise*" ... That's my girl).

We get to the clinic. Dr. R takes a look, complimenting my taping job (as we took off the tape, it starts to bleed again. At least, with all the bleeding, we know it's a clean wound. Something good, right?). With how the cut is (the pad is sliced to the nail on one side), they wouldn't do sutures (stitches). Instead, we get what's called a "pressure bandage." Pretty much, with a bandage and that stuff they use to secure the bandage after you give blood ... that stretchy-stuff. I don't know the name for it ... Bruise is given what we call the "Cookie Monster Thumb." (It's blue and it's a much more comforting name for him. He loves him some Cookie Monster.)



He'll wear that for three days. Wednesday, I get to take him back into town and get the dressing changed and see what else needs to happen.

I feel the onset of more wrinkles and some grey hairs. Seriously, I could have a case of the vapors sometime.

But, for some good news, sister-in-law T1 is engaged. We'll have a wedding in September. And we'll lose her to the big city up north. She better come visit often, though.

Okay, from just typing all that (and reliving bits in my head), I feel the need to lie down. And maybe get a massage. Or, at least, just breathe deeply and hug that little man of mine and put him in a bubble where he can't ever get hurt again.
And Bucket can be in a bubble, too. I don't think I can handle them getting hurt anymore. Skinned knees are one thing (Bruise got a couple last week), but slicing and dicing?

Oh, and he did let us know what happened after we got home. We have a cupboard that doesn't always latch all the way (you know, those child-safe latches? Well, don't always depend on those. Especially around too-smart-for-their-own-good children). Bruise had cut his thumb on the blade of a food processor.

Yeah.

Sharp.

But, hey! At least we didn't have to go to the ER. That would have killed me. I hate how expensive that place is. And the wait!! And the cost!!

This is why I love our clinic. They have a doctor on-call for emergencies.

Now, I'm going to curl up in a corner, pet my hair, breathe deeply, and hope that the pain in my arm is just from stress and carrying around my heavy children. Or sleeping on it.

(I checked. It's just a sore muscle. Feels like I got kicked by a horse. Because I don't want to have a heart attack.)

Yes, petting my hair helps. I have soft hair. *pets hair*

Let's hope that I have absolutely NO excitement the rest of this year. I don't know that I can handle it.

Really, I can get more than enough excitement from books. Let's keep it that way.

Unless someone wants to give us an all-expense-paid trip to Disneyland.
I might be able to handle that.

Friends in Blog Places

So, here's the deal, I have this friend who blogs under the handle (is that the blog-word for it? I'm really not quite with it. Which is a story for another post, once I've uploaded a picture or two.) Vanilla Joy.

(And, yes, I'm jealous that her blog title/blogger name is that adorable. It totally fits her. I've known her most my life ... We grew up down the street from each other, in fact.)

BUT, the main thing is that during the summer, she's planning on having some giveaways via her blog.

And, well, this is a really good one. Because I need some new sunscreen for the kidlets and that's ONE of the facets of this giveaway package. Yes, it's a PACKAGE.

So, get your heinie over to her blog and check it out!

This is a smorgasboard of coolioso stuff. Bagel-fuls (her breakfast of choice), a Lil' Rinser (for the bathtub ... and handy when someone has a forehead wound. Wish I had this when Bruise gave himself that little scar by his eye. Oy.), and a Lil' Swimmers package (swim diapers, suncreen, sun sensors, bucket, and beach ball).

But, yeah, I'd like to win this package.

If you want a chance, hie thee over to her blog. Post about the giveaway on yours. Leave a comment. It's that easy.

And is it bad to admit that I hope that not too many people do? It would help my odds of winning this. ^_^

But, really, I adore her. She totally deserves the publicity, so go and do it!
And while you're there, tell her I say hi. ^_^

Nabbed from "Prissy"

It's time for my ABCs!!

A = ADVOCATE FOR: Tolerance of people (if their behavior isn't hurting anyone, then that can be tolerated, too). I think that we can be far too hard on each other. Let's play nice, people.

B = BEST FEATURE: Um, I could say my eyes. I have pretty eyes. And my teeth are pretty straight. I have soft skin. And I like my hair. And I enjoy my nails when they're painted prettily. So, um, take your choice.

C = COULDN'T DO WITHOUT: My family. If I didn't have them, my mental health number would be much, MUCH higher.
And books. I HAVE to have my books. And the internet. And sugar. And water.

D = DREAMS AND DESIRES: To be completely out of debt. To try my hand raising bees. To travel. To have new furniture (or at least stuff that's not stained, okay?). To go on a mission with Michael (maybe a service mission). To get through my TBR (to-be-read) list of books (It's going to take a LONG time, that one. Since I'm constantly adding to it). To have a clean house ...

E = ESSENTIAL ITEM: A good book. And lip gloss.

F= FAVORITE PAST TIME: Reading, laughing with my children, hanging with Michael, watching movies

G = GOOD AT: Either making people laugh or totally weirding them out. Usually, it's the former. I also am good at talking to people (I prefer to talk to individuals, rather than groups). Griping (hey, I'm not proud of it!). Freaking out about the strangest things.

H = HAVE NEVER TRIED: SCUBA diving (but I WANT to), surfboard-surfing (I went bodysurfing once), going to a gym (I'm love to but, Hello!!, EXPENSIVE!), getting waxed (again, I'd like to ... I get sick of shaving. But it's expensive and painful).

I = IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: Pay off the van (and get a new one -- why not?), school loan, house (how about a new one there, too?), and any other debt. Get some decent savings for the kids and ourselves. Take a vacation (or three. How about Disneyland, Hawai'i, and some time in Europe? Or Japan?). Get Michael the Corvette he's been longing for ... buy clothes and a pool. Sound good?

J = JUNKIE FOR: Fresh raspberries, chocolate, Nacho Cheese Doritos, Red vines, sour patch kids ...

K = KINDRED SPIRIT: BriBri ... and Michael's my complement.

L = LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I want to learn Gaelic. And Japanese. And Setswana.

M = MEMORABLE MOMENT: Seeing Bruise after he was born and KNOWING that we picked the right name.

N = NEVER AGAIN WILL I: Forget to put sunscreen on my children.
I love them, I should protect them. They shouldn't be at risk for melanoma.

O = OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: Buying books.

P= PERSON I MOST ADMIRE: Probably Jesus. I mean, it's kinda cliche ... but, still. He's definitely made of awesome.

Q = QUOTE: "I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I WILL end you." - Captain Malcolm Reynolds, "Our Mrs. Reynolds," Firefly ... but in, like two seconds, it'll change.

R = REASON TO SMILE: When Bucket says, "I smell Mommy!" Then she smells me and declares, "Peeee-yoooo! *retches*" ... Hey it's pretty adorable.

S = SORRY ABOUT: Hurting people's feelings. Makes me aware of how much I suck.

T = TAG SOME FRIENDS: No. Just do it of you want to. I'm not gonna force anyone to do it. But if you DO choose to, let me know. I love reading people's answers.

U = UNINTERESTED IN: Listening to one. more. SECOND. of whining. I think it's naptiiiiiiiiiime!!!!!!!

V = VERY SCARED OF: Being in debt.

W = WORST HABIT: Worrying. And losing my patience (I really don't have that much. It gets lost a lot. I have a problem with that. I should go find it now).

X = X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: I think I've discussed this before. I also want to hit Williamsburg, Virginia; Disneyworld, Victoria, B.C. .... and lots of other places.

Y = YESTERYEAR DECADE OF CHOICE: There are too many. I mean the 40s were excellent for dancing. The 20s were so carefree (until the stock market crashed. Stupid guys trying to buy all the gold!) ... but the 80s? Best candies. What I wouldn't give for a package of Bonkers. I remember LOVING those.

Z = ZODIAC SIGN: Aries

Okay, so if you want to do it, go for it!

More random things that I almost forgot to post. But didn't. Well, not anymore.

Have you ever wanted to talk with that cool Jamaican patois? I know I have.

(And that could be because I'm a freak and a total accent-whore. Hey, just keepin' it real.)

But here! Look!



Yup, it makes me happy. Now I can talk like Brad Pitt in those couple of scenes in the hospital in "Meet Joe Black." (I think Pitt's at his handsomest there. And the whole idea of the plot? Love it! Because, like I said, I'm a bit of a freak. And I seem to really love stories where Death is personified. Dunno why. I just do.)

And here's an awesome chemistry video. It lets me get my geek on. Totally makes me laugh.



I totally love the Jello-bit. And the Mr. T-wannabe.

And at a site that I go do often, but don't usually say the name -- but, really, it's full of snark and about books, especially romance novels (a weakness of mine), but this is an excellent art bit that they showcased: The Beauty in Books (book sculptures -- really, it's much cooler than that sounds). Seriously, go check it out. It's quite fun.

And if you like commerical parodies, Nerve.com has a collection of the 50 Greatest Commercial Parodies. Some are not quite ... um ... family-safe. But they are all pretty funny.

Officially summer ...

Wow, we've got ourselves a bit of a heatwave. It went from, what, some pleasant 80-degree days jumping up into the nineties. (I feel for our folks in Southern Oregon. Michael's folks are probably "enjoying" the triple digits this weekend.)

Yesterday we took the kidlets over to the park with the wading pool. The lifeguard there has a set of twins. They're seven now ... She assured us that it does get easier. ^_^ It sounds like her twins don't quite get along as much as Bucket and Bruise do.
(It melts my heart when they give each other random hugs. And, when one of them hits the other one, I mandate hugs and kisses. And kisses. And kisses. Until they both break out in giggles. And all is forgiven. Yep, that's how I roll.)

I also talked with a gal with a SWEET accent. As we talked, I said, "I adore you accent. Where are you from, Scotland?"
I GOT IT RIGHT. Score for me. But she was very cool. Traveled a lot, been stateside for over a decade, likes Alexander McCall-Smith ... Very fun.

Today, we went to the Farmers' Market. I bought a pint of raspberries. They're all gone already. Seriously, ripe raspberries? They're my crack. I could eat my weight in them. I would have tried to ration them ... but I had Bruise and Bucket competing for the ripe, raspberry deliciousness. Hey, I DID share, so I do deserve that Nobel prize ... but my generosity ONLY goes so far.

I'm really ready to get Bucket a new swimsuit ... but first I should go through their clothes from last year. She really hasn't grown all that much. That'd save us around $10 ... Just enough to cover buying a little pool for the backyard.

The backyard which is now UNDER CONTROL!! (Thanks be to our church youth and to the generous gift of that weed-eater. Score!) I mean, we still have TONS of work to do on it ... but, oh, it actually looks like we give a crap about it!

We cleaned up at the church today. As the first people there, we got to choose what we wanted to do. I opted for the bathrooms - Yeah, it's a bit of work, but I like to have clean bathrooms. And since I'm a mom, I'm all about cleaning off the changing stations and using air freshener ... Yeah, can we say OCD? Yup, I can start to approach it at times and about the strangest things. (Having enough toilet paper? I could probably fill my ENTIRE HOUSE AND VAN with the stuff ... and I'd still worry about running out at an inopportune time. Because I'm good like that.)

Oh, it looks like that Aunt Flo of mine is vacating my life, for a time. Thank goodness. And I'm still being all good about not nursing my babies. My baaaaaabies. Yeah, they're growing up. I mean, Bruise did bring out the Boppy pillow the other day. And Bucket does still try to demand that I give her the good stuff ... Yesterday, they were swayed with pasta with Alfredo sauce and spinach. Woot. (They didn't eat as much as they did of the Tuna Helper last night, with added "brokky" <-- These children are CRAZY about asking for broccoli. If only Bruise ate as much as he asks for.)

I got to pet a drone bee today. He was nicely fuzzy and vibrated like a kitten on sixteen espressos. (At the Farmers' Market, there was a booth with honeybee information. And since I love reading the beekeeping adventures of Birdchick and Mr. Neil Gaiman, I dragged the family to see them.)
Bruise and Bucket wouldn't touch the drone (even though he didn't have a stinger. Male bees don't), but they did enjoy watching the worker bees in the little wood and glass case as they buzzed around, filling the honeycomb.

Sometimes, I want to have a beehive of my own.

And then I wonder if I'm channeling Marie Antionette ... how she had her little farm. Just for the thrill of milking a cow and growing a turnip and all that.

But if would be nice to have some fruits and vegetables that I know are not at all in danger of carrying E. coli or Samonella. I mean, a sun-ripened tomato? Yummmmm. Fresh peas and green beans? My own (free) raspberries?? That are full of summer sunshine-flavor?

There was a booth that offered meat products ... and shares in animals. We could buy a turkey or some chicken or some cow-flesh. Or BACON (Maybe some fatback. As Jom Gaffigan says, "It's supposed to be like bacon on steriods.").

(Yes, I could never eat kosher. I likes me some bacon. And mixing dairy and meat. Yup, I'm a total goy.)

Well, I should go and get Bruise out of my room before he starts putting on my heels and messing up my bathroom counter again.

Enjoy your heatwave, everyone! I hope you all have a nice, cool place to relax!

Bonus conversation between Michael and me:

As we pass a group of kids selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts for $8/box-

Me: Well, I guess that's not too bad. If there's a dozen per box, then it's only 75-cents per doughnut. ... Whatever happened to the days of the 35-cent doughnut?

Michael: They've gone the way of the dinosaur.

Me: *bitterly* And my nostalgic childhood.

Yes, I still long for the times of idyllic youth. When excitement was attained merely by heading down the concrete stairs to the creek by my house, when I never worried about money or the economy, when my biggest worry was how long I'd be grounded for not cleaning my room ... or how long it'd take me to find that overdue library book.
Back when I was flat. And sported some dang-heavy bangs.
Back before I had wrinkles and cellulite and stretch marks.
When it always seemed that every princess found her prince and lived happily ever after, villains were easily recognizable by their black hats and mustaches -- and the sinister way they had of curling said mustache and laughing maniacally; when heroes always triumphed, when America was "The land of the free and the home of the brave" and the only people who didn't believe that we were the good guys were Nazis and Communists.

Yeah, once I grew up, things really stopped being simple and clean-cut. Why is this? Why can't it always be as sweet and simple as childhood?

Ugh, I hate being all downer-iffic. I need some more raspberries. That and a good, free, not-crowded swimming hole within a couple miles.

Link-a-dink-a-doo ...

Okay, so it is on the record that I am not the only one who likes the Discovery Channel's version of "I love the whole world." -- Witness the brilliance of the xkcd strip. (Michael read it this morning and left it up for me. I love that he knows what I like.)

Here's a neat little video -- (from Neatorama) The Silver Swan's an automaton built in 1773. It gives two performances a day. Seriously, it's over 200 years old, people! It still works! I'm amazed.



Another funny (at least to me. What can I say? I like the absurd.): Garkov - Garfield comics using Markov-generated Garfield dialogue. This mental_floss covers it well. Makes me laugh.

Yet another video making its rounds on the internet:



It just makes me laugh.

And this Washington Lottery commercial is probably my favorite lottery commercial (It's MUCH better than the Oregon Lottery one with the lady in her giant, gold-plated bathroom. What skeeves me out is that she gets on this gold golf cart after flushing her toilet, drives it, THEN washer her hands. There could be HEPATITIS ALL OVER THE STEERING WHEEL!!!1! COME ON, PEOPLE! THIS IS CATASTROPHIC! AND GROSS!)

But this one? It's good.



Oh, I forgot to mention, I found that on Cute Overload. And this is from CO, too. I think it's cute.



And for a little off-site linkage, Planet Tozer -- Amazing how these planets are actually photos of soap bubbles. They're shot by a photographer named Jason Tozer. SO cool.

Color Sense Game - What's your color sense? If you're thinking of redecorating, this could be helpful. ^_^ It's also kind of fun.

Also from Neatorama, the Japanese game show, Hole in the Wall, is coming to America.


Doesn't it look kinda fun??

Speaking of fun, the new Disneyland attraction -- the dream home of the future!
Description over at modmom. It sounds kinda cool. Yet another reason I have to get back to Disneyland sometime.

Not quite safe for the kiddos, but these Jane Austen comic strips totally make me laugh. Like Laff-laugh.

And then, this article at Neatorama was pretty cool: "Bacteria Eat Waste and Poop Out Oil."
It might only be so cool to me because a couple days before I read it on Neatorama, Michael and I were talking ... and he's all, "Back to the future had the right idea. We need to start turning our waste into fuel." And he was telling me about how it was in the movie and how it would be if there were some way to transform our garbage into oil or whatever fuel that we'll be using. And, lo and behold, this pops up on Neatorama. Seriously, people, my husband's all smart. (He says that I'm smart. He's not half-bad himself, if you want understatement.)

So, yeah ... that's it for links right now. Hope they all work and everything! (They should, since I just opened them all .... but who knows? Things do change and whatnot.)

Okay, I need to clean up the house and get a shower and read some library books and stuff like that.

And take a nap.

And, if you were curious, it's been nearly a week that I have not nursed my children. I thought I was going to be all sore and missing it ... but, really -- summer weather? It's time. Especially on days that I'm cranky due to heat and allergies. I think that they're doing okay. (Bucket asks ... mostly due to the routine we had, but she's coming to grips.)

Blearing through the antihistamine ...

Really, this is the first year that I'm all, "Whoa. Allergies are like this? How do people handle it?"
I'm actually taking some benadryl every so often ... and I'm kinda in a fog most of the time. And I'm so sucking it up at blogging. I really do love you. And I really DO mean to tell you SO much more about my life and all ... and share about a metric crapload of links with you.

Today, my Bucket made me laugh so hard that I about couldn't breathe. She was sitting on my lap after her bath. I was putting on her pajamas ... and she was talking about how the flowers on her PJ top smelled yucky. (I mean, really ... They're IMAGES. They don't stink. But, you know Bucket, she's got a mind of her own.)
And suddenly, it morphs into "I gonna smell Mommy! Peeeeee-yoooooooo! *retching sound*"

I seriously have got to get this on tape. When I do, I'll share it with you all. Because I seriously about wet my pants over this.

... Really, though, I don't stink. I mean, I took a shower and brushed my teeth and wore deodorant and EVERYTHING. I smell good, really!! She was joking, I tell you!

Bruise is talking more and more. He made it through storytime yesterday (which was a special musical presentation for the preschoolers) and the regular storytime today pretty well. If they started acting up, all I had to do was threaten to take them out. Then they behaved. Phew!

In other news, Mary Murphy (on STYTYCD) has been wearing MUCH more appropriate styles for her. Phew. And Neil Lithgow, in a leather jacket? Who does he think he is, Neil Gaiman? (KIDDING! He was fine.)

Well, Michael's telling me that I HAVE to go to bed. And you know me ... I'm a docile creature, always obedient and sweet ... never rocking the boat.

*laughs hysterically*

I mean, I'm not totally DISobedient ... and I'm not a terrible homemaker (I mean, sure, I leave MUCHO room for improvement. But, hey, I did some dishes today! We have clean spoons and forks again! (I TOLD you that I was being all sluggy from the benadryl. You believe me now, huh. And how does one spell benadryl? Am I spelling it correctly? I mean I COULD go and LOOK IT UP ... but I'm all lethargic and weak. But I can breathe. And I can swallow without it feeling like a huge ball o' HELLFIRE is lodged in the back of my throat.)

*sigh* I'm tired. And I am not being a good typist. And I'm REALLY tired.

But, oh! I finished Pretties by Scott Westerfield today. I'm totally digging that dystopian-future-thing he's got going in that series. AND they had Specials AND Extras at the library ... so I can finish the series soon.

And I still have to read Sheri's book so I can return it to her sometime. Oh, so many books ... so little time.

But, now, off to bed I go!! See, Honey? I listen and obey!

It's just kinda in the Lord's on time. Sorry!

Good things

So, to make up for the downer of the last post, here are things that are good:

- I got a perfect score on the Piano Player on Brain Age 2. Boo-ya!

- I guy driving through the library parking lot today commended me for taking my kids to the library at such a young age. It's nice to be told that you're awesome. ^_^

-Thanks to Jenny's tip-off about the dollar section at Target's latest selection, the kidlets now have a little lunch-set. They have a lunch sack, sandwich box (Bucket's got an extra little snack box in hers), water bottle, and ice pack. Bruise's is Disney/Pixar Cars. Bucket chose Hello Kitty (She almost chose the Disney Princesses ... but Hello Kitty won out. Barely.) (Again, thank you Jenny! You're amazing!)
(And all of you that are not Jenny, you're amazing too. Really!)

- I got some cute pictures today, upon returning home from the park, of Bucket with dirt on her face. It made me laugh. Especially when I asked her how she got so dirty and she replied: "I da know," in this cute, flippant style.

- How when the kidlets get up, they'll come to my room to wake me up. Bucket will say, "Hello, little mommy." And Bruise will climb into bed to snuggle with me (and, if there wasn't any noise, I think he'd fall back asleep again sometimes).

- The kidlets are REALLY getting into using their imaginations. They'll come up to me, asking for different foods (or Band-Aids, as Bucket did just a minute ago) and I pretend to give them ice creams, oranges, water, milk, chocolates, etc ... and they're pleased as punch to make these giant chomping noises as they "take a bite" of these, um, delicious treats.

- My children love to be tickled. They ask for it. And they ask/beg/plead for more.

- The smell of sunscreen on warm child-skin. (Can you tell that I was a GOOD mom and actually remembered to put sunscreen on my kids?)

- Their little voices saying "please," "thank you," and "I love you." And Bucket's prayers. She demands to pray every night. We lead her along. Sometimes Bruise joins in (as we coach Bucket) ... but he is still working on his attention span. ^_^

- My children doing their animal noises. They're silly little people.

(And just about everything about my husband. Even if he's too honest about some things. ... Like how I don't always smell like roses and chocolate-chip cookies.)
(Note: Don't judge that comic by the art there. Jacques has really evolved in his style. A LOT. He totally admits it, too. Seriously, go to the current comic. There's no comparison. ... And there is a reason why it's called Questionable Content ... but I'm a rebel like that. Blame Bri. She got me hooked on it!)

- Episodes of Firefly. Even when I'm all hormonal and (in general) pissy, you can tell I'm feeling better when I whip out the Firefly quotes.
Or, really, ANY movie quotes. If I'm quoting movies, I'm (as a general rule) doing well. (As Cristall would totally know. ^_^)

Yeah, overall, life is good. We made it through storytime (barely), had a lunch at the park, I took a bath to recuperate from storytime ... I need to figure out what to make for dinner (I know I'm going to be roasting "brokky" ... and Bucket has asked for [surprise, surprise] "noo-nuls" [noodles] ... now to figure out the rest. *sigh*)

Now to read to the kiddos and figure out what's for dinner.

Things I don't like ...

In random order, and off the top of my head:

- Using the snot-sucker (aka: bulb syringe/nasal aspirator) on Bucket.
Reason: She screams. I have now stooped to rewarding her with some chocolate chips. Just to, you know, sweeten the deal. I can't help it that she appears to have some hay fever and is snottiling away (you know, breathing where you hear the snot rumbling in the nasal passages -- and hey, what's with me inventing words. Do I think I'm Mia Michaels [another judge/choreographer on SYTYCD]?) ... So I'm doing what I can.

- Wiping Bucket's bottom. Again, she screams. Not because she has a diaper rash, but because she has some moral objection against having her lady-bits cleaned with a wet wipe.
(Whereas I have a moral objection to her having yet another diaper rash. Curse that porcelain, delicate skin of hers! ... Well, not really. But curse daiper rashes, for sure!)

-Breaking up yet another skirmish between the kidlets. It's like I'm a frakkin' referee. If I'm going to have to be a ref, I'd better darn well have that swell whistle and vertically-striped shirt. (What? Vertical stripes are slimming, right?)

-Cleaning up puke. It's just gross, y'all. What more can be said?
(Thankfully, this one happens a LOT less. A heckuva lot less.)

- High gas prices. Because the rising price of oil drives up the price of everything else. Curse that OPEC. Curse them a lot.

- Bruise's tantrums. (Just let him start communicating in a way that doesn't involve screaming, tears, and slamming himself headfirst into the ground. Please. That is all I want. ... Well, that and a sizable trust fund or other monetary gift. ... Hey, I'm just keeping it real. And I know how lucky I am to have no problems that cannot be solved by having more money. It's a decent place to be. ^_^)

- Right now I don't like a certain neighbor of ours. Let's just say that he'd LOVE for our neighborhood to be under some Home Owners' Association ... and he'd be just too pleased to be president. He was going to report our really nice neighbor to the city for having some wood leaning up against a fence ... a fence that isn't touching his property. He told that neighbor that he was going to report us for our yard (Yes, I'll totally admit that I'm not one that keeps up with yardwork. I have two toddlers. I have a house that I attempt to clean. I have a husband gone for a good 12 hours four days a week. Yard work is not my highest priority. We don't have a lawnmower, or I'd try to mow our weeds. Whine, whine, whine. But, really. If he has a problem with it, he had better come bring it to us first.
And, really, if it's THAT important to him, he could OFFER us the use of a lawn mower. Or offer to work on it himself. Or offer to chip in for a babysitter so that I don't have to deal with my children trying to run headlong into the street as I try to pull weeds or rake up stuff.
Yeah, since I don't really remember his name, I've taken to calling him "Mr. HOA" (pronounced HO-uh, since HOA = Home Owners' Association) in my head and when I gripe about the stupid situation to Michael.

So, yeah, Tuesday saw Michael spending some time outside in the yard (after he took some Benadryl) working on the weeds. Eventually I joined him ... with the kids (and they MOSTLY stayed on the sidewalk. Mostly). Later, when the kidlets stopped paying attention to us and obeying our bellowed orders to stay on the damn sidewalk, we put them in the house where they watched us through the screen door. Until we went to put the tools away (around the back of the house). We came inside. It's quiet, too quiet.
Bruise had opened the screen door and they were walking around the house.

And, yet again, you see why this whole situation pisses me off.
The yard does look like less of a blighted jungle.
But my children could have been killed, run over, or kidnapped. And that's with BOTH parents home. Gah.

But I will say that I found sufficient motivation in tearing out those weeds by imagining that each root was Mr. HOA's blighted HEAD.
(Homocidal much? Only about once a month, really. Grr.)

But yeah. That's the crap stuff. Figured I'd get it off my chest. And hopefully in a way that y'all can laugh at it.

Oh, and I worked in the yard hard enough that my snot was all gross and full of dirt.

I bet that you REALLY wanted to know that.

So, last night, Michael and I were sitting on the couch, watching SYTYCD.

He made some remark about Mary Murphy's (one of the judges) dress ... It showed LOTS of cleavage, was leopard print with little sheer-black poofs of "sleeves" that hovered about halfway down her upper arms ... and was paired with black and gold Betty Rubble - style beads (I mean, that's the best I can describe it). It was ... different.

Finally, about halfway through the show, I'm so distracted by it that I just have to question it -- "What IS up with Mary's hooker-dress??"

Michael: THAT's IT!! I KNEW something was wrong about it!!

Later, as I'm feeling the general ennui that comes before Aunt Flo drops in for a visit, I made another remark:

Me: I don't LIKE it when I'm all hormonal.
Michael: I don't like it when you're hormonal, either.

Cue my hysterical laughter. I don't know what it was, but, oh my, it was the perfect thing to say.

See? I may be overly sensitive about 99.3% of the time ... but I can take a joke, too!!!

In other news, I went to a playdate yesterday. I ran into my friend Jenny at storytime yesterday ... she invited me along to her ward's playdate. The kidlets had a BLAST. Bruise was all about the tire swing (I spun him around so much that he totally FELL DOWN SIDEWAYS ... and I laughed so hard I couldn't pick him up for a sec. Bad me. I know.), while Bucket was having a blast trailing after Jenny's daughter (Bucket loves hanging with the older girls). And Jenny's daughter was so nice about it. She even remembered Bucket's name from when we came over to their house a few weeks ago.

To gild the lily, while I hung out with the other moms (in that brief period of time when Bruise wasn't demanding that I push him on the swings), Jenny referred to me as her "reading goddess." Aww! I was touched, even if I played it off by saying it was only because I have about a thousand (no joke) books on my TBR list at Goodreads. ^_^

I also had dinner ready when Michael got home last night. Woot for me!! I made this chicken pasta dish from The Pioneer Woman. Now, I used chicken breasts instead of thighs and I used different noodles ... and I didn't have fresh herbs ... but it was really good. I mean, Bruise -- my son who only PICKS at dinners -- ate just about all that was put in front of him! He ate all the little pieces of chicken and all the noodles. There were only some small bits of diced tomato left on his plate! If that's not a glowing review, I don't know what is!

(Also, I MUST cook some broccoli tonight. the children were distressed that I hadn't made it last night. Yes, my children clamor for "Brokky." Yes, I KNOW that this is not normal. Yes, I enjoy the hell out of it. And, yes, I know that they get it from me. I heart me some "brokkies.")
(And seriously, if you want the easiest recipe for roast broccoli, let me know. I could post it. It's SO supereasy and delicious. Bucket would eat her weight in roasted broccoli if given the chance.)

Another reason I'm aware that Aunt Flo is coming by? I'm not sleeping well. I can't fall asleep before, oh, ONE IN THE FRAKKIN' MORNING. Grr. And when my kidlets are waking up around six-thirty-ish ... Yeah, I consider it quite the proof of what an excellent mother I am that I, who require around 7-8.5 hours of sleep, am dealing with whinings and tantrums as well as I am on five hours of sleep.

Another thing to be mentioned: I do NOT get my son. I love him. I adore him ... but I sometimes do not GET him.
CASE IN POINT: He started smacking his sister yesterday. REPEATEDLY. Like six times! SIX. DIFFERENT. EPISODES.
What? I can't quite consolidate this Bruise with the one that not five minute earlier is climbing on my lap and giving me the sweetest little-boy kisses. I kiss him on the lips. He'll gently take my head, turn it to the side, and give me a little smackeroo on my cheek; turn the mommy-head, give a smackeroo on the other cheek.
(Cue: Awwwww! <-- and not at all ironical. It's seriously enough to bring some tears to my eyes. Because in a few years, he's going to refuse to have anything to do with me. And I'll be standing there with my bleeding, beating heart in my hand as he races out to play or off to school, calling that he's too big to give/get kisses.)
(And that's when I'll yell after him that, by golly, I changed his diapers and got his urine in my eye, dammit. He had better give his mother a kiss!!!!1!)
(Because, yes, I AM classy like that.)

Oh, I bought the kidlets each a little no-spill bubble container-with-wand on Monday. Monday night, Bruise loses his.
I feel bad giving Bucket hers, because he tries to steal it to play with.
Michael wants Bruise to accept responsibility for this -- either by finding the stupid thing (Hey, Bucket and I prayed that we'd find it. It's gotta turn up sometime. Sometime. Soon would be good. Especially since I've gone through the whole house looking for it. But he HIDES things in the strangest places!)
So, either Bruise can FIND it (unless he left it on the sidewalk or something and someone walked off with it) ... OR he can take the two dollars out of his piggy to buy a new one ...

Is it bad, though, that I just want to buy some spare ones so that I'll always be able to find a couple of them? Or the bigger-sized ones (but those are $5 as compared to the $2 ones that we bought) so that they're harder to hide/lose?

Oh, for a less-limited income so that I could spoil my babies!

(And, yeah, I'm kinda worked up about this whole situation of not-finding-the-bubbles because, like I mentioned, I'm a bit hormonal. It really sucks. Why can't I be on a nice, even keel?? Stupid part of this mortal experience. Gah. I'll put up with it ... just because I kinda have to. But I don't have to enjoy it. Female power and earth-mother-stuff my heinie.)

Not about rocket science. At all.

SO, here's some more wonderful, wonderful things (Well, at least I think they're wonderful) to share with you.

Neatorama is spoiling my inner Marvel geek: There are frogs that sport claws, a la Wolverine (aka Logan)!! Squee!!

Also from Neatorama (are we detecting a trend here?? Hmm ...): What happens when you put your cellphone in the microwave.


(Yes, it is not to be taken seriously. But still. Fun? Oh, yes!)

Britain's Got Talent, as featured on (yet again) Neatorama.
Seriously, you HAVE to watch these two videos. I think the first one is better ... but, oh, the music ... and the dance moves ... I pink puffy heart these guys.
And, yet again, I'm a little jealous of those Brits and their TV shows.
Like the quiz shows featured in this (again, Neatorama) post.
(And don't forget QI!! I heart Stephen Fry! And quiz shows! And trivia! ... For an episode, check YouTube here:)



Why is this NOT aired in the States? Are we Yanks just not good enough to DESERVE more awesome quiz-type shows? What am I supposed to do when Jeopardy isn't on? I mean, really, y'all.

And, for those who are tempted by the dark side, this was pretty neat:


(I wish that I could program my printers to do that. Or any song, really. It'd be kinda neat. ... And couldn't you imagine, people walking up to my husband's cubicle, drawn by this tune? ... I mean, he's already got the two monitors, so he can pretend he's an evil genius in his secret lair. -- Okay, it's not the REAL reason he has them, but he does display the Dilbert strips about it. ^_^)

And, last, Great Art Parodies ... by Joel Schick. I really want to get some of these and put them up in the kiddos' room. That would be made of awesome.

And I'm done. Now to REEEEEEEEAD while the kids are semi-contained and should be napping.

Back to you, Bob ...

Again, again, I've neglected you.

It sucks, I know.

But, to make up ... here! My Ty-ty sent me this. I adore it!



I love it when my friends know exactly what I like. And the fact that I can share it with you?? It just sweetens the deal, no?

Well, what's gone on? We went to visit family (My Nana, my mom and stepdad, my dad and his girlfriend), came back and visited with Dad and Mom C, their cousins came over to play ... went to church where I lead Senior Primary singing time for the first time EVER (No, it is NOT my calling. I was subbing. It went okay, though), celebrated Father's Day ... got caught up (and behind again) on the dishes and laundry, finished season 1 of Heroes, watched a video we borrowed from my mom (27 Dresses ... It was cute) ... but only AFTER we FINALLY finished all the DVDs we borrowed from Seph and Jenny. (Go us!! Now I can return them to her!)

I do have more to say, including a bit of a rant (be forewarned) ... but I'm closing up so I can get the kidlets ready for storytime.

(I stayed up LATE last night. Couldn't sleep. So I'm not totally with it. AND I've spent about a half hour looking for Bruise's new spill-proof bubbles ... I know where Bucket's is ... but his? *Poof!* It's, in Bucket's words "issapeer!" ... She and I said a prayer, so I know it's gonna turn up SOMETIME ... but I'd prefer it to be sooner, rather than later. Especially since I walked around our yard in my robe and underoos. Hi, it's me. Just your resident crazywoman. Yeah, call me Mrs. Rochester ... Bertha for short.)

So, where was I? Yes, to get dressed. And get the kidlets dressed. And with more food in their bellies so that we won't (hopefully) have to leave storytime amid tantrums. AGAIN.

What a day ...

I mean, is started off so WELL ...

1. I got to sleep in until nearly seven. SEVEN A.M., y'all. That's like a MIRACLE!
2. I've JUST ABOUT caught up on the dishes. One unload/reload with a handwashing of my preshus pots and pans, and we're good to go.
3. Today's my mom's last day of work.
4. Last night's episode of SYTYCD was good. Michael especially liked the Mia Michaels routine danced by Katee and Joshua.
I'm developing some idol-worship of Twitch. He's just the NICEST guy. I <3 him.

And that Comfort? Lawsy me, she had me laughing. She's a riot.

We're eager to see how America voted.

We got through Bell, Book, and Candle ... It could have been better. Michael just couldn't get into it.
And we also stayed up a little later than we should have to get through another episode of Heroes.

BUT, to bring us all to the same page ...

SO, I took the kidlets over to the library early so Bruise could play with that bleedin' train table. Bucket amused herself by playing with the doill house again. Since no one else was playing with it, I think she made a great decision. (Although, I do worry that she's not interacting a ton with the other children there. But she's usually totally fine, so I'm not THAT worried. Not like I might be about Bruise as he SCREAMED when another little boy started playing and *GASP!* TOOK A TRUCK THAT BRUISE WAS NOT PLAYING WITH! Oh Em Gee, y'all!)
I even tried to be a good mom and tell him when it was five-till-storytime. Another fuss-fit. I've managed to drag him into the storytime room ... and he's flailing and whining and crying on my lap. I give Bucket the option of sitting with the other kids while Bruise and I stand in the back so I can get him into SOME modicum of calm.
"No. I stay Mommy." is her reply. *sigh*

AND THEN Bucket starts FREAKING OUT because I'm not going and sitting down with her. And that's when (about a minute into storytime) I decide, "You know what? Screw it. I am NOT dealing with two kiddos throwing a FIT. If they want storytime, they're going to flippin' BEHAVE. And they're not. So I'm playing my meanest mommy in the universe and we're flippin' going out to the CAR, dammit."

And so, in the short walk from the story room to the outside of the library, I gave the librarian the CD I WAS going to check out (No way I was gonna stand in that line while I'm holding a blubbering little boy and dragging a screaming little diva) ... and Bucket SCREAMS at the top of her lungs as I steam ahead of her, "NO!!!!!1! I STAY EYE-BEE-LARRY!!!!!" (Hey, that's how she pronounces it. And it's cute.)

I'm a mean, mean mommy because
1. I don't let the kidlets push the buttons to automatically open the doors (the handicap-access buttons, whatever you call them).
2. I get them outside and try to explain why we are NOT going back into storytime. As they scream and fuss and cry, I just give up, shuttle them down the sidewalk to the car, and buckle them in. Amid more screaming.
3. I YELL at them to get them to LISTEN to me. I lay out EXACTLY WHY we are leaving. I give them some guidelines to follow in the future. I give them the option of NOT getting to play with the train table EVER.
4. We go to Target so I can buy stuff for Fathers' Day (for Dad C, my stepdad, and my dad) and a birthday card for my youngest cousin. I hiss at them to shut up whenever I get irritated with them kicking each other or fighting over who gets to hold what. Yeah, I know. I should TOTALLY write a parenting book!! I mean, Doctor Spock would TOTALLY be in awe of my mad parenting skillz. Word. I can totally smell the future. It smells like Fritos. And what's that? I know that odor ... PULITZER, baby. That's what I smell.

So, I'll be cranking out some Fathers' Day cards ... and finishing up the dishes ... and making the kidlets' beds (they both wet through last night. No biggie. This is why I'm in love with the fact that their mattresses are covered in plastic. Absolutely genius.) ... and putting away all the clothes that Michael helped me fold last night (LOVE that man).

So, yeah. It's been a crazy day so far. I think that I'm going to, first, finish a couple of books. Then, I'm going to finish the dishes. Then I'll start packing ofr our little trip to visit everyone (Not EVERYONE, everyone ... just Mom and Dad C, Nana, Mom and C, Dad and L, my younger cousins ... just them. Because this is gonna be one dang short trip. I'm a little tired just thinking about it, really. Wish us luck, okay?). And I'd like to get on the treadmill again. Try and get a habit going (again).

And, you know, I might just try to take a nap. Yelling at my children as much as I've done this week? It's exhausting I tell you. I need some frakkin' bon-bons to keep up my energy. :P

But, yeah ... fold some more clothes, pack, read, dishes, dinner ... vacuum (after I pick up the travesty that used to be our living room ... it's all good.

But I did make a Target employee snicker a little ...
Her: Are you having a good day? Anything I can help you find?
Me: I think I'm okay ... Nothing a couple of straitjackets and muzzles won't fix *with a pointed look at my kidlets*
Her: ... Well, we do have some stickers in the front if that'll help. *smiles*

Yes, I like Target. Yes, I do.

I've neglected you ... again.

My poor little blog. My poor, poor, poor friends ... I'm sorry for neglecting you. And I wish that I really had something to show for it.

I mean, last week I had actually caught up with the dishes. I am not at that point now. I also have about ten loads of laundry to fold because I'm a Loser-McLoserpants and have neglected it for so long.

I got behind on reading blogs (and therefore, Sorry Melissa!!, I haven't been commenting on blogs much ... Well, less than usual ... I'm a bit of a lurker by nature, really). I am behind in the movies that are getting to be due at the libraries (thank goodness, though that there are only two, really. Well, one feature-length (Bell, Book, and Candle ... My friend, Roxy, and I performed a scene from the play for Skills Fair in high school. I've read the play, but I didn't ever see the movie. --- Watching the movie, I think that Rox should have played Gillian and I should have played Queenie ... My Gillian was a bit sweeter than Kim Novak's. And Roxy played Queenie a little more deviously. ^_^) AND Season One of Heroes. (I love me some Hiro. He's so sweet and darling. Yeah, I'm a bit of a Japan-ophile.)

I wish I could say that there's a complete and total reason that I have been neglecting this blog (and, therefore, all of you). I guess I could blame it on the kidlets ... they've been waking up hella-early. And so, yes, I've been tired. Staying up to watch Heroes or a movie or So You Think You Can Dance ... then the kidlets waking up around six ... when my body got spoiled by them sleeping until around 7 or half-past that.

Still, it's a sucky excuse. And I don't really buy it. I haven't had TONS to write ... But I'll try to catch up. Here are my bullet points:

- I have a nephew. And he's got a decent name. Not too common and not too "[Brother-in-law's-name]-what-were-you-thinking" (This is my brother-in-law who, Lord love him, wanted to name a child "Doctor" ... just for kicks and giggles. And joked about naming our nephew Methuselah if he came out with a beard. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother-in-law. ... But, to be completely honest, there are times that I DO NOT get him. And it makes me glad once again that I'm married to Michael.

Really, stinking, truly, incredibly happy.

(Ha ha on me. C (that brother-in-law) called me up and invited us to go to the park with him and our nieces and nephew. As Bruise kept calling C "Dad," he and I both confided in each other that it's good that we're not married to each other. As he puts it, "You're too independent for me." I had to agree. ^_^ I really am. I'm pretty headstrong. And I sometimes cut my hair short. ... Also, he's skinnier than I am. And I rather live by that one quote in While You Were Sleeping, "If you fit in my pants, I will kill myself." He still weighs less than I do ... and he's complaining about how much weight he's put on. :P)

- I won a little give-away. I am now the proud (and surprised) owner of my own paperback copy of The Yiddish Policeman's Union. Hey! Now I won't have to put it on hold. I've been wanting to read it for a while (And with nearly a thousand books on my to-read list,. ... No joke, check out my Goodreads list if you think I'm kidding, I thought that I'd be waiting for over a year before I could put it on hold.)

- When Bucket saw her cousin B, over at the hospital, when we went over to see their newest cousin, she and B ran toward each other and gave each other a HUGE hug, as Bucket spouted out, "B!! I MISS you!!!"
I about melted right there. SO cute.

I THINK that's about all I have for now. (And this has taken he HOURS to write ... because I had getting-ready-for-storytime, storytime, getting-back-from-storytime, getting the kidlets snacks, going out to the park, coming back from the park, putting the kidlets to NAP (Thanks be!!) ... and I'm rather exhausted now, myself.

If you're dying for information of any sort, just comment or email me and I'll be up for suggestions. At this point, I'm just about dead on my seat (since I AM sitting down) ... and I'm pointedly ignoring the messy state of my house. I have a nap to take, books to read ... then I'll worry about dishes to do and LAUNDRY TO BE FOLDED. Ugh. It never ends.

(BONUS STORY: We got to storytime a little early. And at this library, the library is opened a little bit before storytime starts. So I take the kidlets to look for some books that I want to read ... and a lot for them to read.

Bruise gets settled in playing with the BRIO-type trucks and train table-thing. Taking him away for that to go to storytime? Which Bucket REALLY wanted to go to?

Yeah, lets just say that poor Scott, the storytime librarian, commented to Bruise that life really wasn't that bad. And that they were really going to have fun. (Which Bruise DID, don't get me wrong.

But he was READY for storytime to be over. And when we got back to the children's section? Oh, horrors! There were "TOO MANY PEOPLE" at the train table. So he cried a little more. And played with the kitchen set and the doll house very happily.

Oh, heavens, I am going to need to put some serious moolah into that boy's therapy fund ... with how he carries on and on, I KNOW that I am seriously establishing my "Meanest Mommy in the Universe ... and maybe even meaner that THAT" cred.)

(And no, I have not yet devoured him. Nor have I hung him by his toenails over eel-infested waters.)

(Not that I wasn't tempted. ... Hey, I'm just keeping it real, okay?)

Promised post

And, YES, I am aware of my amount of personal suckage for not posting earlier.

(But, on the bright side, I'll have some more time since I'm not playing Travian anymore. Also, hey, not to brag, but guess who scored as a 20-year-old brain on Brain Age? ... To keep me humble, I'm 25 on Brain Age 2.)

BUT here are links, link, and more links. With maybe a movie or something thrown in. Because it's been a while since I've posted.

First, a new (not always safe-for-work-or-kids) comic that has won me over:
A Spam a Day - It's pretty much what the title says. The artist (Oezi) takes a subject line of spam that he's received and draws a fitting pictoral version. Most often, like as in Spamusment (HERE's my absolute favorite there), it's a much more naive take on what's being offered. However, some things you just can't clean up. ^_^ But I still get quite a good chuckle out of these sites. (Note: Spamusment hasn't been updating for a while. But if you haven't been there before, they have LOTS in their archives.)

If you liked the Chuck Norris endorsement for Huckabee (and if you didn't, you're probably a Communist. JOKING!! But, really, it makes me laugh. LOTS.), you will most likely enjoy Chuck Norris' "If I were elected Vice-President."
I would post a selection of it ... but I don't want him to come after me. Even if I'm totally complimenting him. So, really, do go check it out. It's very fun. And I'm ready for a Chuck-ocracy, myself.
(It does not hurt that my Nana has a bit of a crush on Chuck. I think it's ADORABLE.)

This is for Sheri (Since it's in reference to one of her favorite songs) ... and it's also to send you to GraphJam.com -- By the same people who brought you icanhascheezburger!):


more graph humor and song chart memes

Random Einstein quote alert!!

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Okay, back no our "normal" program. ... Well, as normal as it get around here as I fling around links willy-nilly.

From mental_floss, the Internet has made it a little harder for people to get away with being rude or doing illegal things. Sometimes, though, we have to watch the vigilante justice ... Though it is kinda satisfying to see some people having to own up to their actions.

Here's another good site to laugh at ... and then realize that you've spent over an hour there ... *blush* -- Not Always Right (the link takes you to one of my [for now] favorites).

And, to close for now because HEY! I've got a nephew!!... Well, I can't get the code to embed the video. So just follow the link: Guitar Hero On Tour commercial.


OH! And for Cynthia and Melissa: "Why I Love Fox" (featured on Whedoneque):



Okay, now I've got to go. Take care you all! I'm gonna be seeing how jealous the kidlets get of their new cousin.

Back to having sweet children

What just happened:

(I had told the kidlets that there wouldn't be any snacks until after their show's over. They've been snacking a lot.)

Bruise comes over to me and says, "Mommy. Cracker? Cracker, Mommy? Cracker?" in his sweet little lilt of a voice.

I look at him for a sec and ask, "What word am I looking for?"

"Pwees?"

I give him another even glance, then hold out my cheek. "Kiss?"

He give me a very sweet (and DRY, even!) peck on my cheek. And then scoots ahead of me as I get up and get him a couple animal crackers.

He takes two of them and hold out his other hand.

"Oh, you need some for Bucket?"

He nods.

I give him a couple for his sister. He shows me the first two in his hand and tells me, very point-of-factly and seriously, "Bruise." (Hey! he used to NEVER say his own name. This is PROGRESS, people!)

And he quickly thanks me and runs off to deliver snacks to Bucket and to sit on the couch and eat.

And he runs back just now to collect his toy car, show it to me, and run back to enjoy the further adventures of Buzz, Woody, and Jessie.

And Bucket? She's been even more liberal with hugs and kisses. Especially when she senses that I'm not the most thrilled. And she tells me that I'm a "happy lady mommy."

She's a very sweet girl. And so is her brother.

And it's a bonus that they like to be tickled and have play balls lobbed at them. They'll be a force to be reckoned with when they start playing dodgeball, I tell you what.
And Bucket? I think she's going to enjoy soccer. Especially since she'll yell out to me as she zooms by, "I be kickin' da BALL!!" (Yes, she does sometimes talk with the syntax of a Rastafarian. What? She's darling.)

Oh, and they like to help me unload the dishwasher. And watch me tidy up the bathroom. And they think that it's HILARIOUS when I vacuum. Good for them. ^_^

I'll post soon with all the links and such that I've been saving for you all. Be aware. But right now I'm enjoying my sweet babies.

Why I am NOT a great mom ...

Okay, you know that I'm all about keeping it real.

And that's why I'm going to post this. Even though my mother, bless her heart, is CERTAIN that I'll be ostracized and hated ... or that someone might leave a very trollish comment.

Suffice it to say that with the combination of my lady-cycle AND the fact that my dear, precious (or is it PRECOCIOUS) children have been waking up about an hour earlier than usual ... without taking a good nap during the day ... this weekend, ... Well, let's suffice it to say that I was NOT on my A game. (Or is it "A-game" ... I wouldn't know. Why do I use these sports analogies? I have no idea at all what I'm talking about.

Now, usually, I'm a decent mom. I don't beat my kids, I try and control my language around them, no one's been seriously hurt on my watch, I can pop a dislocated elbow back into place with some aplomb... I mean, I let them watch too much TV ... and my house isn't the cleanest (Hey, I'm strengthening their immune systems, okay??) ... But usually I'm a rather decent mom.

(Although, as my friend BJ pointed out the other day, I often act more like a big sister to them ... as I bopped them in the head with their large playtime balls. We were having a great time. And Bruise and Bucket were retrieving the balls so that I could lob them at them again and again. And they'd smack me in the head with the balls, too. Laughter all around. Hey, at least, they're not going to be all freaking out in sports when balls come flying at their heads ... Not that I ever am like that. *shifty eyes*)

BUT, Saturday night? About my worst evening of parenting.

Bruise and Bucket climbed over the gate into Michael's and my room. Bucket's towel was in our toilet. There was water on our unsealed vinyl-tiled floor. They were not listening to me. I lost my cool.

I hollered at them. They didn't get their before bed nursing. They didn't even get pajamas. I put diapers on them, sent them to bed, gave them a STRONG talking-to.

And, because I'm TRYING to instill some routines, I gave a quick prayer of "Help Bruise and Bucket to sleep through the night. And help Mommy not to kill them."

THEN, since we've started reading scripture stories to the kidlets before bed ... and I hadn't brought in one of their storybooks ... NOR did I want to spend much more time in there while they whimpered and whined (because, hey, I'm the meanest mommy on the whole entire planet ... and maybe the universe at large) ... well, imagine this scene:

Me: sitting a few feet from their beds. Delivering this in a very snappy tone.

Okay, Tonight's story is about the Tower of Babel.
Some people thought they'd be all CLEVER and build a twoer to get to Heaven. Is that how we get to heaven? *Bucket nods* NO, it is NOT! you get to Heaven by obeying the commandments and by being good. (Well, that and accepting Christ as your Savior ... but I'm trying to get this done quickly, not to discuss all the theological points of our religion with my children before I devour them like hamster moms do.)

So, God knocked down their tower and changed everybody's language.

The lesson: Don't piss God off. It's never going to end well. Good night!

And then I close the door as I leave ... and check on Michael as he cleans the grill we "inherited" ... the one that as he cleaned it ... well, the grilling surface turned to dust, since it hadn't been cleaned. And that was AFTER he got the mold off of it. Oops.
Rust, it's a killer.

I told him what I did. He was glad that the kids were in bed. And he took over putting them BACK in bed duties for most of the night.
And, bless his heart, he supports me ... He kept telling them, "You need to LISTEN to Mommy."

(Also, Bruise woke up around midnight, to go potty (most of which, truly, was already in his diaper ... but you've got to admire his persistence. He demanded that I turn the bathroom light on. Mind you, you can see decently with the nightlight in there ... and when I DID turn on the light [Mostly to shut him up, since he was getting a little loud and I didn't want him to wake Michael or Bucket], he covers his eyes and goes "Ow. Ow. Ow." And I did tell him that I had warned him. Maybe he'll remember that Mommy sometimes DOES know what the crap she's talking about. ^_^)

But, yeah. Sometimes I'm a good mom.

Sometimes I really suck.

But, overall, my children do love me. And they seem well-adjusted. Thank goodness.
And I do love them. Which is why I haven't devoured them like hamsters do.
And why I let them wake me up at six-fifteen in the frakkin' morning.

Even if my son bothers my senior-citizen cat until she poops on the windowsill in our bedroom ... And, really, I couldn't get mad at her at all. Heck, I was just glad she didn't pee on our bed again.

(And poor, Ginger ... She didn't know what to make of the fact that I laid down next to her in the living room and told her that she WASN'T in trouble. If you've never seen a cat be completely confused, you've missed out. Her expression was all, "Okay, okay ... Where the hell-o are the cameras? They've got to be filming this. ... Or is she really for real? Really? I'm not going into the shower stall? I'm not being yelled at?? For real?? Really?? ... I still don't believe it. ... I'm just going to sleep out here tonight. And maybe the next week ... Until the other shoe drops...")

But, hey ... the kidlets took a nice nap yesterday. Michael and I woke up to find that we had slept for THREE HOURS! ... And, yet, I was still tired. But, oh, I was so glad to get that sleep.

Especially since I had to get up, what, three times last night? *sigh*