Thursday, June 12, 2008

What a day ...

I mean, is started off so WELL ...

1. I got to sleep in until nearly seven. SEVEN A.M., y'all. That's like a MIRACLE!
2. I've JUST ABOUT caught up on the dishes. One unload/reload with a handwashing of my preshus pots and pans, and we're good to go.
3. Today's my mom's last day of work.
4. Last night's episode of SYTYCD was good. Michael especially liked the Mia Michaels routine danced by Katee and Joshua.
I'm developing some idol-worship of Twitch. He's just the NICEST guy. I <3 him.

And that Comfort? Lawsy me, she had me laughing. She's a riot.

We're eager to see how America voted.

We got through Bell, Book, and Candle ... It could have been better. Michael just couldn't get into it.
And we also stayed up a little later than we should have to get through another episode of Heroes.

BUT, to bring us all to the same page ...

SO, I took the kidlets over to the library early so Bruise could play with that bleedin' train table. Bucket amused herself by playing with the doill house again. Since no one else was playing with it, I think she made a great decision. (Although, I do worry that she's not interacting a ton with the other children there. But she's usually totally fine, so I'm not THAT worried. Not like I might be about Bruise as he SCREAMED when another little boy started playing and *GASP!* TOOK A TRUCK THAT BRUISE WAS NOT PLAYING WITH! Oh Em Gee, y'all!)
I even tried to be a good mom and tell him when it was five-till-storytime. Another fuss-fit. I've managed to drag him into the storytime room ... and he's flailing and whining and crying on my lap. I give Bucket the option of sitting with the other kids while Bruise and I stand in the back so I can get him into SOME modicum of calm.
"No. I stay Mommy." is her reply. *sigh*

AND THEN Bucket starts FREAKING OUT because I'm not going and sitting down with her. And that's when (about a minute into storytime) I decide, "You know what? Screw it. I am NOT dealing with two kiddos throwing a FIT. If they want storytime, they're going to flippin' BEHAVE. And they're not. So I'm playing my meanest mommy in the universe and we're flippin' going out to the CAR, dammit."

And so, in the short walk from the story room to the outside of the library, I gave the librarian the CD I WAS going to check out (No way I was gonna stand in that line while I'm holding a blubbering little boy and dragging a screaming little diva) ... and Bucket SCREAMS at the top of her lungs as I steam ahead of her, "NO!!!!!1! I STAY EYE-BEE-LARRY!!!!!" (Hey, that's how she pronounces it. And it's cute.)

I'm a mean, mean mommy because
1. I don't let the kidlets push the buttons to automatically open the doors (the handicap-access buttons, whatever you call them).
2. I get them outside and try to explain why we are NOT going back into storytime. As they scream and fuss and cry, I just give up, shuttle them down the sidewalk to the car, and buckle them in. Amid more screaming.
3. I YELL at them to get them to LISTEN to me. I lay out EXACTLY WHY we are leaving. I give them some guidelines to follow in the future. I give them the option of NOT getting to play with the train table EVER.
4. We go to Target so I can buy stuff for Fathers' Day (for Dad C, my stepdad, and my dad) and a birthday card for my youngest cousin. I hiss at them to shut up whenever I get irritated with them kicking each other or fighting over who gets to hold what. Yeah, I know. I should TOTALLY write a parenting book!! I mean, Doctor Spock would TOTALLY be in awe of my mad parenting skillz. Word. I can totally smell the future. It smells like Fritos. And what's that? I know that odor ... PULITZER, baby. That's what I smell.

So, I'll be cranking out some Fathers' Day cards ... and finishing up the dishes ... and making the kidlets' beds (they both wet through last night. No biggie. This is why I'm in love with the fact that their mattresses are covered in plastic. Absolutely genius.) ... and putting away all the clothes that Michael helped me fold last night (LOVE that man).

So, yeah. It's been a crazy day so far. I think that I'm going to, first, finish a couple of books. Then, I'm going to finish the dishes. Then I'll start packing ofr our little trip to visit everyone (Not EVERYONE, everyone ... just Mom and Dad C, Nana, Mom and C, Dad and L, my younger cousins ... just them. Because this is gonna be one dang short trip. I'm a little tired just thinking about it, really. Wish us luck, okay?). And I'd like to get on the treadmill again. Try and get a habit going (again).

And, you know, I might just try to take a nap. Yelling at my children as much as I've done this week? It's exhausting I tell you. I need some frakkin' bon-bons to keep up my energy. :P

But, yeah ... fold some more clothes, pack, read, dishes, dinner ... vacuum (after I pick up the travesty that used to be our living room ... it's all good.

But I did make a Target employee snicker a little ...
Her: Are you having a good day? Anything I can help you find?
Me: I think I'm okay ... Nothing a couple of straitjackets and muzzles won't fix *with a pointed look at my kidlets*
Her: ... Well, we do have some stickers in the front if that'll help. *smiles*

Yes, I like Target. Yes, I do.

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