After the Storm

After everything yesterday, my eyes hurt. My face hurt.

I did take that shower that I wanted. I cried in there.
And I scrubbed the hell out of the shower stall. It's VERY clean.

Michael's taking things really well. He's feeling much better physically. And he's got that eternal perspective going on ... And, really, as one of my friends (again, I seem to be good at surrounding myself with folks with eternal perspectives. It's a gift. Really.) said, Grandpa is probably happy to be free of his old, aching, sick body for a while.

It's not like he TRIED to abandon all of us or anything.
But I will miss him something fierce. Because he was very, very wonderful.
One thing that's truly awesome about the family I married into, they are VERY welcoming.
My father-in-law, Dad C, calls all of his daughters (biological AND married-in) "DEAR DAUGHTER!" (Really, he says it all in caps. And, even with his calling A, T1, T2, whoever J will marry, AND me that, it still is completely sincere and makes me feel special.)

Grandpa would greet all of us with a hug. And would rib us a little if he had to ask (if we were talking to someone else or not paying attention). And he appreciated my ... less-than-Celestial sense of humor.

Once, at C&A's, for one of their kids' birthday parties (Must have been B's party, since we were talking about all the Disney princesses that were on her cake. And which ones were cutest/most marriageable material for the present menfolk. Yeah, I love my family.), I told a joke that Michael told me:
Q: Why do mermaids wear seashells?
A: Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

A's dad was shocked at first ... Obviously, I'd done well at making a good first impression. Then I had to open my big mouth. Ha ha ha.
Now he knows the real me. :P

GRANDPA LAUGHED.
And then had to suppress it so he wouldn't have to tell Grandma why he was laughing.

And he still loved me just the same. Even though I have no filter. :P

Now both my son's namesakes have passed. Michael mentioned that last night.
That stinks. But we named him well. Both his great-grandpas that he was named for were excellent men.

BUT, as I was going to say, I woke up this morning (after crying more last night) ... strangely calm.
It hasn't lasted perfectly. But it's better.

I am making my way through the stages of grief. I already went through denial:
*in the shower* "I wasn't there. Maybe it didn't really happen. I didn't SEE him die. He could still be alive."

Anger:
*scrubbing FURIOUSLY in the shower*

I'm still not totally over it ... but everyone's been so wonderful and supportive.
A family that's been friends with Michael's family for AGES brought over cookies yesterday evening.
(No wonder the mom was the Compassionate Service chair at church. She's really amazing. ... And their kids are great, too. We're friends with more than one. ^_^)

I'm not wearing waterproof mascara today (or waterproof anything), so I can't bust into uncontrollable sobbing.
Yes, I am that vain.

It's about time for church, so I need to brush my teeth. And then we'll see how it goes.
Hopefully Michael's fever is going away.