Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!!

I WOULD post pictures ... but I really haven't taken any YET.

We went to our church's Halloween party last night. Bruise loved the games. Anyplace that encourages him to throw stuff = AWESOME.
Bucket enjoyed the games, too. She also loved eating apple slices.
(Don't tell Bruise, but right now our monkey-girl has better aim than he does. But he has a bit more enthusiasm. So I guess it evens out.)
The only letdown is that since Michael and I were always holding or corralling a kiddo, I didn't get a single picture while we were there.

I plan to make up for that tonight.

Tonight's going to be busy. Once Michael (who has the van today) gets home, we'll be off to the mall for tick-or-treating, then to the Boys and Girls' Club for our neighbor's son's church's celebration (Hey ... there's free hot dogs, popcorn ... those inflatables that you jump in, AND a big sack o' candies?? Count me in! And it's open to the public. Good stuff.), THEN we'll drop by our neighbors' house, since she specifically asked us to bring Bruise and Bucket by. And they are TOTALLY good people.
(Note to self: Remember to ask them over for dinner sometime.)

After tonight, I think that things will start to slow down. For about a week. Then I can start to get us all ready for visiting family and Thanksgiving. AND there's the prep for the Veteran's Day parade. Give me strength.

I mean, I know that I can make it. It's just getting to the point where I know for a fact (instead of taking it on faith) that I can make it.

And, not to brag, but I was looking at a picture that Michael took of me (as I was scraping out pumpkin guts so he could carve a Jack-Lantern for the munchkin brigade) ... and dang if I don't look rather skinny. When did this happen??

Not like I'm about to be fitting in my jeans from high school or anything, but I'm looking pretty good, if I do say so myself. Which is a nice surprise.

I'm almost caught up in my library books. Which is nice. Since I'm tired of having 20 books that are approaching their due date ... When I've only read, like, THREE of them.

Trivia about me: I feel a little guilty when I have to renew a book.
Yes, really. And it doesn't make sense at all. I KNOW.

SO, in short, I'll post pictures later. The kiddos enjoy eating candy (at first, Bucket didn't like how it felt on her teeth. But she's over that now.

(Note to self: MUST have kiddos brush their teeth. Don't forget!!)
(Unrelated note to self: Cut Michael's hair.)
(Another unrelated note to self: Stop worrying. It's going to be fine. If we run out of candy IF that many trick-or-treaters come by, make cookies. Assure kids that you didn't spit/sneeze/shed in the batter. And that there aren't razor blades or crap or whatever in there, either. If they don't believe you ... well, they're missing out on some good cookies.)

You know what I always really miss this time of year?
The Halloween episode of My So-Called Life.

I found it on tv-links recently. Just as good, if not better, than I remembered.

(Note to self: Next year, plan costume for self. It might be fun. Instead of scrabbling around the house for anything that MIGHT be costume-y. Really.)
(Related note: Start planning the kidlets' birthday party. Get a theme, plan the invites, and decide on food. You'll feel so much better. THEN -- WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BUY THEM????)
(Omiheck!! I've got to buy Christmas presents!!! Crapity crap!!!! *head exploding*)

Excuse me. I fear that I'm suffering from technical difficulties.
I'll be back probably tomorrow with pictures and an un-exploded head.
Probably.
I hope.
Maybe.
Ugh.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Trivia about me ...

Just in case you didn't know ...

Sometimes I feel like I live in a huge game of MadGab.

I'm way too good as mishearing song lyrics.

Michael still laughs that I thought "Big Yellow Taxi" contained the line "Baby be nice and put up a parking lot."

Hello!! When the guy from Counting Crows sings it, it DOES sound like that.
It wasn't until after I was married that I learned it really says "They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Michael: What's nice about putting up a parking lot??
Me: I don't know ... maybe they are wearing new shoes?

Friday night, as we were out shopping, "Night Fever" by the BeeGees came on.

I learned, yet again, that I don't know songs.

For that chorus part after "The feeling is riight!!" ... Well, I couldn't tel what they were saying. So I just tried to make sense of what the sounds COULD be. And, no, I DIDN'T know the title of the song. Even though I gladly listen to disco.

So, I always hear it as "Niiiiighteeeen Niiiiiighteeee Niiiiiiii-hhh" ... Nineteen ninety-nine. Good year. My graduation year. Cool, cool.

NOT THE LYRICS, so I learned.
They actually are just saying, "Night fever, night fever."

Ugh.

And, then I had to ask Michael about "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson.
He didn't know what Jacko was saying either ... but he was sure I was wrong.

As I'm looking it up:

The CORRECT lyrics are "Keep on with the force, don't stop, don't stop 'til you get enough."
What I hear:
"Rock on, be a p0rn star, don't stop 'til you get enough."

*headdesk*

*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*

Pictures ... Part Four - The Temple

And, finally!! The pictures I took at the temple. (Since, on the last post, the pictures at the temple was [obviously] taken by Michael.)

First, the fountain. The kiddos love water, love fountains.
Shortly after this picture was taken (or was it right before?), Bruise walked into the mud. *rolls eyes*
 


At the reflection pond.
(Truly, this is Michael's and my temple. We got married here ... and it's so fun/different to be taking pictures of OUR KIDS at the same spots where our wedding pictures were taken.)
 

Still, they're pretty dang cute.

Since Michael was corralling the kidlets, I tooke the opportunity to try and get some pictures of the temple itself.
 

*sigh* Such a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful place.

And here's what you see as you get back onto I-5.
 



Funny aside: One of my friends in college (not a member of our church) referred to the temple as "Mormon Disneyland." ... Since it's right along I-5 and you can totally see it as you drive by.

It stikes me as even funnier since, truly, it is probably the happiest place on earth.
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Pictures ... Part Three

Another picture from the hay ride:
 

My little girl is so pretty. I know I'm a little biased.
But still!!

And here are Bruise and Bucket on the frog at the local carousel workshop.
 

One of their aunts is volunteering there. She's carving a hoof for one of the horses ... and they may incorporate one of her drawings (a fairy) onto another of the horses.
Some people have all the artistic luck.
*swallows some little green-eyed feelings*

What the munchkin brigade never do enough of:
 

Probably having to do with the fact that Bruise climbs out of his crib multiple times. And sometimes crawls into Bucket's crib and wakes her up.
And then I don't get to sleep in or finish a book or fold that ever-growing pile of laundry.

 
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And here's the kiddos and me at the temple after my college roommate's wedding downtown.
(Hey, if we're going to the big city with the kidlets, let's take them to the temple, too! Especially since, last time, when we went to the zoo, they fell asleep before we left Hwy 26.)

One more installment of pictures to come!!

Pictures ... Part Two

Here's a few of the pictures I took while we went to get our pumpkins a couple weeks back:

Bruise LOVED riding the tractor (he did get to "drive" [on Michael's lap] a real one on the hay ride).
 

VROOOOOM!!!


 

Bucket blowing me kisses after she got her turn on a (non-moving) tractor.
This picture was taken about a minute after she threw a little fit because Bruise wouldn't share the steering wheel with her.

 

Chillin' like a villain on the hay ride.

 
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Both the munchkins having fun running around the pumpkin patch. Bruise enjoyed his freedom to wander. Bucket stayed close to us and seemed to like the green pumpkins.

Pictures ... Part One

I did promise pictures, right??

Well, don't say that I never post pictures. Because I do. When I'm not being so incredibly lazy, lazy, lazy.

 

Bruise is here to PUMP. YOU. UP.
(Seriously, though ... When the kiddos and I went to my mom's, he would NOT stand for Bucket to be on the elliptical. It was HIS SPECIAL ... His pressssssssssssshiousssssssssssss)

 

Sometimes I take a picture. And am remarkably impressed at how well it turned out. Score!
Besides, if I showed you Bucket in close-up, not-cell-phone resolution, full glory ... well, it'd be like looking at Zeus. With the whole bursting into flames because you. just. can't. HANDLE. the. Adorablility!!!
Consider yourself lucky. I'm protecting you. You totally owe me. :P

 

Someday, I'm going to get the boxes cleared out from our front room. And my stepdad will bring up the piano. And the children will be happy.
And people won't think that we're in the process of moving out. (How could we be?? We're still moving in!!)
(Yes, it had taken us nearly a year. Which is very pitiful.)

 

And here's Bruise's "Grinch face," as I like to call it.
But he does look darling in the Mr. PotatoHead glasses, no??

More pictures to come. Cross my heart and lick my elbow!
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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Blog PIF

I stole this from Dianne (if, by "stole" you mean she told me to sign up on hers ... so it's not very good stealing at all. ... I'll never get my place in the eighth circle of Dante's Inferno. Crap.)

BUT, as I learned today, PIF means "Pay It Forward." And here's the main jist:

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

Now, since I'm not a Craft McCraftersons like many of my talented friends, when those lucky three commenters sign up, I'll get to wrack what little of my brain I have left to figure out a nice little prize.

(HINT: Suggestions are welcome. If you know something that I do well ... and you'd like me to do that something, I'm up for it. I have no pride ... well, very little ... left. It's not below me to be a performing monkey for my adoring fans. :P)

... Now I'm really trying to figure out things that I'm good at:
- self-disparaging humor
- reading
- ordering free magazines (You really should see the pile on the toilet in our room. It's amazing. A good foot-and-a-half or magazines and catalogs)
- small (SMALL) home repairs (e.g., something with a screwdriver or hammer. Maybe a drill)
- admiring other people's talents
- finding videos on YouTube (Today the kidlets watched puppies before church. And a monkey teasing two young tigers. I think it was really a gibbon, not a monkey ...)
- being a bit of a geek. Like how I was discussing viruses with my cousin yesterday ... since I'm excited that scientists have found a way to neutralize HIV in the body, not just in labs. ... And I haven't really studied anything, really, regarding rDNA since high school. And I really should, since I kinda miss that stuff.
- making my cousin laugh. It makes me happy.

Yeah, those are hard things to wrap up and send someone, huh?

Don't worry. I'll figure out something. I mean, hello! I'm so Net-Girl! I'll ask my bestest friend, Les Internettes, for an answer. :P

My goodness, I must be waaaaaaay in need of sleep. If I sound to you how I sound to me ... Maybe I'll just order that straitjacket in a size medium (my chesteses can be a little squashed. Maybe they'll shrink?).

(Great, now I'm talking about my boobs again. Shutting up!!!!!)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

One of these things is not like the other ... Or not quite as "like" as the other ...





But, WAIT!! That picture of me was at a totally different resolution!!
I mean, hey, the picture of LaDonna was said to resemble Michael and me evenly.
(We all know that she'd look JUST like me. If we were the same race. I mean, Helloooo ... Allanna -- LaDonna --- We're related! [That's an Ozzy Osbourne story. If you haven't heard it, ask me. It's AWESOME. I miss the Sharon Osbourne show.])

Try THIS!


and ... Well, it looks like Bucket DOES resemble us equally.
Never mind ...

This Just In --

My daughter just ran over to me, "Mommy!!!!"

And had me "taste" her concoction of string and M&M wrapper, mixed with the space bar of a keyboard.

She was very proud of her cooking prowess.

ADORABLE. Simply ADORABLE.

----------

Also, Bruise loves music. Especially music played by a full orchestra.

He loves him some string instruments.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Hodge-Podge

I've taken lots of pictures this month. But, when I tired to make a rather photo-heavy post yesterday, only four pictures would load.

So I threw a hissy fit and said, "FINE!! If you aren't going to load my friggin' pictures, I'm not posting today. FINE!!"

SO, if you want pictures, email me or message me. And let me know how large of a file you can receive. Since I'm kinda burnt out and if it's not going to fit, I probably won't send it again. Because I'm a punk.

BUT I did get my pack meeting done, a book read, and dinner in the crockpot yesterday.
I did NOT do the dishes or fold the laundry. Or put on make-up. (Like the Wolf and Bear Scouts of our ward give a lick.)

When I got back from the meeting, I was kinda bummed. Just a little funk. I don't know why.
When I get this way, I always ask Michael if he thinks I'm depressed or bi-polar (since it's not like there's not a bit of a history of mental issues in my family. Nooooooooooo. NOTHING like that!! *shifty eyes*). And he assures me that, no, I act the same as always. And that I'm just too hard on myself.

STILL, a couple weeks ago, we took the kiddos to a local farm to get pumpkins and to go on a hayride (Bruise got to "drive" the tractor -- sitting on Michael's lap-- for a little. He LOVED it.)(Also, a Painted Lady butterfly and a ladybug landed on him. Maybe because he was wearing a BRIGHT yellow jacket.)

Last weekend, Michael and I finally got to the temple. It's been such a long time. We're trying to get back into our pre-pregnancy habit of getting to the temple once a month. Especially since we've found a great sitter. She's so good that you have to ask for her in advance ... I was lucky that I asked about two weeks in advance.

We also went to my college roommate's wedding. (This is the roommate I had in the dorms at college. As opposed to the three roommates I had in the next town, since I like the University ward better. So I moved into the boundaries. Since I am a punk.)
During the last month, that makes it two Catholic ceremonies I've attended (Kevin's funeral being the other. Besides a Mass I attended when I was in the Ed Program in college, for an assignment in diversity). K was thrilled to see the kiddos. And it's been so long since I last saw her ... the kidlets were just born last time we were together.

Meeting K's husband (B), he shook ym hand and told me, "K's told me so much about you!"
Me: "Lies. All lies."
B: "No, everything was good."
Me: "Exaggeration. She's way too nice."

Yup, Allanna, THAT's how to take a compliment. Yup.


After making the stop at the reception, we also drove by the temple so that the kiddos could walk around. Bucket and Bruise loved picking up leaves that had fallen on the sidewalk. Bruise left the sidewalk and got all muddy. Bucket wanted Michael to carry her most of the time (not anything new, there).
I got some good pictures of the temple and some flowers and some not-too-blurry ones of the kids.

Again, if you want pictures, I can send you some. Just as long as I have your email address. Since, like I've said before, I'm feeling far too lazy to actually post them here.

BUT, maybe I'll post them in different blogs.
Even though I've used about half of my blogger storage. *sigh*

I've voted. I still need to mail off my ballot.

I yell at my kids too much.
I need a shower.
And to fold a metric crapload of laundry.

And, YES, that IS a scientific measurement.

Fully based on Llanna-ology.

I enjoyed last night's episodes of Bones and House. Michael and I cheered when the "token Black, Mormon Doctor" went off on House. (And I like how House's old crew are still around.
I was sad when "Bosley" was rejected, though. I really liked him. And I'm bummed that the plastic surgeon is still in there. He irks me.

You know what else irks me??
That the coupons in the Papmers diapers are not for other diapers, but for the PULL-UPS. Wither the Fries?!?

I want to, NEED to, buy DIAPERS for my kidlets. NOT FRIGGIN' PULL-UPS.

Anyone want some pull-ups coupons? Preferably in exchange for Pampers diapers coupons?
Anyone have Pampers diapers coupons that they want to pass on to me??

That's all I have to say right now.
Maybe I'll post pictures to Flickr ... I'll let you know what I do.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Easy things ...

Now, since I'm not rolling in the monies, and I figure that you probably aren't either (unless, maybe, you're Scrooge McDuck) ...

Here are some easy-peasy ways to help others without having to part with grocery/diaper/rent money ... and, even better, these are all through my lovely friend, Le Interweb:

FreeRice.com - Test your vocabulary. For each word you get correct, ten grains of rice are donated by advertisers (whose adverts are on the bottom of the screen) and distributed by the UN World Wood Program. There are 50 levels of vocabulary terms ... they say that most people don't get past level 48. I usually get stuck around level 43. So galling!!
Still, even if you get a question wrong, you can still play and donate. So far, I've donated 2,000 grains of rice. And I feel a little bit smarter to boot.

Using the same way to generate revenue, but no word games, is this family of sites:
The Hunger Site - donates the value of about one cup of food.
The Breast Cancer Site - donates a mammogram to a woman in need.
The Child Health Site - donates medical care for children in need. When I first found out about this group of sites, it was vitamin A shots that were covered through the donations.
The Literacy Site - Helps children "attain literacy." Again, when I first started clicking here, it would donate the cost of a book.
The Rainforest Site - Each click helps preserve a little over 10 square feet of rainforest.
The Animal Rescue Site - with a click, you help donate food to animals in shelters.

With the sites above, you also have the option ... if you feel like shopping, to buy products advertised on each page's store to help donate more funds towards that cause.
And they like people to only click once per day. But I'm not saying that you're limited. *shifty eyes*

So, yeah. I don't always feel like I, as just one person, make a huge difference in the world ... like my actions make much of an impact.
And, since I don't have tons of cold, hard cash lying around, waiting for a purpose ... I try to be proactive in less-expensive ways. Besides, in my case, I'm online SO MUCH that I might as well do something worthwhile with my time. Right??

And this is something that you can do without having to figure out how you're going to afford milk/gas/diapers while doing something for people outside your home.

Anyone know of any other great ways to help save the world without breaking the bank?
Any proactive ways to help people outside your immediate family?

For things a little closer to home, I would suggest voting responsibly (BRAG: I read through the voter's pamphlet. I still went with my gut, but I did try to work my way through some legal-ese AND saw who was in support of which side of the issues).

And Michael thinks that I'm amazing for emailing my congressperson. Um ... it's email. And usually, through MomsRising, I have a form letter that I can tweak. So it's totally and completely easy.
One time our representative voted against how I hoped he'd vote. The last time, he's strongly for the issue that I wrote about (strengthening school and public libraries. ^_^).

So ... yeah, that's it.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Eye don't know ...... Yes, that's punny. It's a quiz. And my brain's TIRED.






What do your eyes reveal about you?(PICS!)Updated
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Diamond Eyes

You are full of confidence, just don't let it go to your head. Its great to know your worth it! Isn't it:D Just remember those of us down here. You are probably quite popular.


Diamond Eyes


58%

Anger


50%

Passion


50%

Mysterious


33%

Eyes full of Pain


33%


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

My Son ...

SO, this morning, as I'm paying bills (an act which incurs nausea), I had to leave my desk and use the facilities, per se.

I've had to start making a habit of moving my computer chair away from my desk so that Bruise won't start typing on my keyboard, stealing my Post-It Notes, or (as has happened), shut down my computer.

As I return from the bathroom, I don't see Bruise at first. Bucket (who's presently singing along to the theme from Elmo's world. She's pretty much on-key. Nice.) was being good as gold, sitting in the living room and watching her shows.

I hear Michael's voice via cell phone. And I wonder why.

Bruise is sitting UNDER my desk, with my cell phone pressed up to his ear, chatting with Michael.

M: Hey Bruise
B: Daddy. Ba ya da da ba ... (continies to chatter while I talk to Michael. Since the phone has been set [by Bruise] to spakerphone, I don't even wrestle it away)
Me: Honey, this is what Bruise does while I go to the bathroom.
M: All by himself?
Me: Yeah. He's even got it on speakerphone.
M: Really??
Me: Yes, that's how you're hearing me. He's got it pressed up to his ear and everything. How does he know to do that [meaning turn on the speakerphone]?

I mean, really. He could have dialed any of nine numbers ... but he got the speed dial for Michael and turned the speakerphone on.

I'm impressed.

Now, if he starts texting, I'm going to worry.

Later, when my mom called, I was able to let each of the kidlets have a phone so they could "talk" (meaning Bruise chattered and Bucket solemnly regarded the phone and gave little smiles when Mutti directed her comments to Bucket). And, since the phones were also on speakerphone, I got to talk to my mom at the same time, which was very nice.


Well, as far as the rest of the day goes ... I need a shower, to fold four+ loads of laundry and put them away, finish the dishes, cook dinner (if not lunch), make one more appointment for visiting teaching, get the kiddos to brush their teeth (CONFESSION: I'm really, really bad at this. HINTS ARE WELCOME, nay, ENCOURAGED), finish some books, ... And Bruise says that it's time to "deet," so I'd better go.

And since they were up nearly an hour early, I'm hoping, hoping, HOPING for a nice long nap. (From them. Maybe for me, too.)

Things that ROCK sumpreme

But I'm SO SAD and DEVESTATED that Igudesman and Joo don't tour the U.S.A. (at least, not yet).

Witness the absolute AWESOMENESS that they are!!

And, without further ado, clips of their acts from "A Little Nightmare Music." Which make me laugh. And feel that all is right with the world.







here's the full trailer for the show:


Um ... I may have a little crush on Joo ... Just sayin'.

There are more videos on YouTube ... which makes my sad heart sing ... but I'm going to make you find them yourself.
I would highly recommend "The Piano Lesson" clip. And Igudesman performing "I Will Survive."

They're good people.
And Bruise is ENTHRALLED by classical music.
And Michael and I know that when we (finally have money enough to) plan our trip to Europe, we're SO going to see Igudesman and Joo in concert.

And maybe these guys:

Something to infuriate me today

THIS.

Oh, I'm glad that the so-bad-that-I-can't-even-come-with-a-name-terrible-enough-for-him is caught and will be prosecuted.

And that the girl is all right ...

But, oh, the mother never even knew that her daughter had been ...

Yeah.

If you read through the comments, you'll see that mothers are a vengeful sort.
Don't cross us or mess with our cubs I mean KIDS. Or we WILL go all mother bear on you. And we'll have no qualms about leaving your scattered remains covered with scatological matter and to be picked over by vultures and other scavengers.

But, ARRRGH!!!! WHY the FRINK do THINGS like THIS happen?????

(I know, I know, it's because people have agency and trials are for our own good and growth and all ... but STILL!!! The girl was way too little, practically still an infant!!!!)

The man's a sicko.
For something like this, I'd say that the electric chair is too kind.

I vote for the death of a thousand cuts.
Administered AFTER various forms of medieval torture.
By a sadist who loves puppies and babies. And has a vendetta against child molesters.

Don't worry.
I'll be immediately posting something to charm and soothe you from this travesty.

(Sometimes I just really hate people. Even "dumb, savage animals" don't pull this kind of crap. *grumbles about how like should be more like CuteOverload and less like Silence of the Lambs*

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Something to make me smile ...

I have to post something good now, since I was all sad and gloomy and philosophical and stuff just a sec ago.

I found out about this today.

The LOLcat Bible


Yes, it is a bit (okay, a LOT) sacreligious. BUT it's funny.

And funny things make me smile.

And I need to smile.

And LOLcats are things that make me happy.

And it's late and I should go to bed before Michael wakes up and realizes that I'm not there ... and he'll come out and give me that look ...

... the one that says, "It's the middle of the night and you're ON THE COMPUTER??? Twelve-step program, anyone???"

And I'll have to lamely reply, before he says a single word, " ... I ... couldn't sleep."

And then he'll remind me that there are more ... um ... productive ways to encourage the sweet waves of slumber to engulf my consciousness, per se.

...
... OR I could play a game online until my eyes start to burn.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Things that make me sad

I was (finally) reading my copy of the August issue of Glamour magazine. (YES, I AM fully aware of what month it currently is. ... I've just been busy and reading BOOKS that are due at the library in the meantime.)

And, in this issue, is a story of a hospital in the Congo. Where Dr. Denis Mukwege treats all these women who've been raped by soldiers in the civil wars going on there.

There are NINE YEAR OLD GIRLS who've been gang-raped. There's a woman whose brother was beheaded IN FRONT OF HER because he WOULDN'T rape her for the soldiers. She had to ingest his waste products and eat the flesh of a child ripped from its mother's womb by these soldiers.
There's a woman who, after being raped ... the soldier fired his rifle up her vagina.

I ... how can we as human being DO this to one another?

People in the Congo are making sure that the gorillas are being protected.
But when they are asked "Are you doing anything to protect these women?" ... They have no answer ... It doesn't even really occur to them.

Sex, a thing which is sacred and beautiful ... an act to show love and communion ... is being used as a cheap weapon of hate and terror.

These women are being raped in front of their families. Their poor husbands often cannot deal with this. They are forced to be helpless, they can't protect their loved ones. The children ...

I ...

I often am far too guilty of staying in my own little bubble of my world. I live in my little house, watch my children, read comics and celebrity gossip and emails from my friends on the internet ...
I've grown complacent. I like to think that the world is a good place. That things are all right.

But they are not.

Things like this should NOT happen. They should NEVER happen.

Michael and I talk about proper punishments for sex offenders here in this country. I would say that they should be castrated ... however, that wouldn't solve the problem. Truly, near-total dismemberment might be an option. And they can pull themselves along the dirty streets like the maggots that they are. (Oh, and when I say dismemberment, I include the tongue in the list of body parts to lose. Yes, I AM that vicious. Don't mess with me, 'kay?) ... Kind of like Wesley's "To the pain!" in the Princess Bride. ("My God! What is that thing??") That could work.
Michael would like to see them parachuted to some island commune in the middle of nowhere. (You don't have to die, but you can't stay in any community where you can harm someone innocent.)

I do check the National Sex Offender website. I try not to worry when I'm emailed (since I'm signed up to receive emails when offenders move in or out of the community) that offenders are moving in.
I try to memorize their faces from the grainy mug shots ... try to read between the lines and see what their preferred victim type is ... would I need to protect Bucket or Bruise ... or myself.
I think about investing in pepper spray. In moving somewhere else. I thank my lucky stars that one of our neighbors is a retired policeman.

I know that I can't live me life in fear about things that might never happen. But I want to protect my family ... to avoid the bad things. To keep my children from experiencing anything that I might never be able to forgive myself for not keeping them safe enough, close enough.

I miss being a child in a small town. I was carefree. We didn't lock our doors. Not even our cars when we went shopping (well, not in town. When we went to bigger towns, yeah ... but not in our town. Now I make sure that our doors are locked at night. We lock the cars all the time. ... When did the world stop being a safe place?).

Would I be happier if I hadn't read the article in Glamour? If I hadn't been reminded that the world is NOT a fairyland full of candy and sparkles and fun?
If the only things I had to worry about were paying the bills, getting the dishes sparkling, the clothes clean and sweet-smelling, educating the kiddos before they hit public school ... and when to visit family and friends?

I might ... but it's not like even then I'm not aware of bad things ... like my friend's brother being murdered. My hometown and the surrounding boonies are supposed to be SAFE, dammit. People aren't supposed to go to parties and go missing and be dead.

Of course, people aren't supposed to go in for heart surgery and end up dying because a doctor didn't do everything right. Surgeries are supposed to GO RIGHT so that your great-grandchildren meet you.

...

...

In other news, I'm voting for Oregon's Measure 50 (the one about raising the cigarette tax to cover healthcare [primarily children's healthcare] and smoking cessation programs. If you've looked at who's for it and who's against it ... well ... Big Tobacco's the one pushing for it not to pass. They'll be losing lots of current and NEW smokers. Smoking will be a real luxury, not so commonplace.

Yeah, Big Tobacco, I'm against you. Going after children with your Joe Camel, putting additives in your tobacco to hook people more, killing my Pop-pop before I ever got pregnant so there was no chance that he'd get to meet or hold his great-grandchildren.
You're going down.

And I'll be laughing to myself all the time I'm voting.
Because I don't respect nor like you one bit. And I'd love to see your companies fold, fold, fold and fade away.

You want me to like you?
How's about you use some of that $10 billion you've spent on advertising against measure 50 and solve some problems like genocide and rape or something.

I would start to respect you.

You could at least do like ten thousand kiva.org loans.
It'd be cool. Nerdfighter-esque, even.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

More Street Cred Than Kevin Federline

Still they can't compare with Weird Al's "Couch Potato" or "White and Nerdy" ... but they've got potential.



Nabbed from the ever-so-clever-at-finding-hilarity Chilihead.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Another funny for you

This was a great find from Neatorama.



Enjoy!

Motherhood Meme

I totally nabbed this from another blog that is a regular read of mine.
Since she didn't have question 7, I tried to find it on another site ... I didn't try all that hard ... and I gave up. Oh well.

1. How long have you been a Mom?
21 months and three days ... or just over two years if you count the whole incubating.

2. How many children call you Mommy/Mom/Mama?:
One. Bucket does. Bruise calls me Daddy.
I hope that this will soon change.

3. Girl? Boy? or both?
One of each. Worked well. I was so worried that I'd have to paint infant toenails or dot them with permanent marker ... But, thankfully, the good Lord in his wisdom gave them different plumbing. And incredibly different looks. Phew!!!

4. Did you know what you were having?:
Not for sure until the doctor and ultrasound technician told us. I had no idea that I'd ever have twins (and we learned that one EARLY on -- about seven weeks along).
Michael and I did the old wives' tale-trick using a ring and a piece of string. Sure enough, it was confirmed by the technician that we were having a boy and a girl.
Shpooky!

5. How old were you when you became a Mom?
24

6. How long were you in labor?
I'm not entirely sure. I wasn't wearing a watch (too swollen for it to fit) and there wasn't a clock in the room. I'd have to ask Michael. I remember starting to really feel it before 10 that night (at least that's when I got my first dose of Stadol while waiting for my epidural --- which wasn't near strong enough ... but that's a whole 'nother story, chickies!). I gave birth just before 8 A.M. ... so, around 10 hours, I guess. I wasn't in much of a state of mind to keep track anyways.

Like, I said ... no question 7. If you find it, please send it here. I'll answer it.

8. What was your least favorite thing about labor?
The red-hot shootings of pain in my thighs. WHICH I had to keep pressed up against my chest around my ginormous twin-filled abdomen (my thighs, that is, not the pains. Thought they were there too.)

9. Do you want more kids?:
Yeah, I've always wanted a large family. I'd like to have more. I liked being pregnant. Being pregnant with twins was really fun ... except for the preeclampsia and the being a high-risk pregnancy thing.

10. Do you plan on having more soon?:
Define "soon." Not immediately ... but after the kiddos are talking well enough to express their needs. AND ARE POTTY-TRAINED. (Or else we'll be living in a cardboard box.)

11. Does daddy change diapers?
Oh, yes. And very well. And without complaint.
I shouldn't take him for granted. He's a good one.

12. How many times have you been peed on?:
Quite a few times. I got it once in the face from Bruise. Bucket's peed on me twice THROUGH her diaper (once at church, once at the zoo). But those are NOT the only times.

13. Barfed on?:
Too many times. Yes.

14. Is your child named after anyone?
Bruise is named after Michael and my paternal grandfather's.

15. How did you come up with their name(s)?
Bruise's name we had picked out before we got married. Bucket almost ended up named for my grandmothers' middle names ... but it just didn't feel right. So we went through baby names and decided names we liked ... then went through their meanings ... and THEN the HARD part was getting her middle name.
Girls' names are harder to pick out. I don't know what we would have done if we had had two girls.
(We still have a boy's name that we're saving for their little brother.)

16. When your child(ren) gets in trouble, who is the bad guy?
It's pretty equal. But Bruise cries more when I lay down the law.

17. And who is the good guy?
We're both the good "guy." We try and take turns.

18. What is the longest you have been away from your child(ren)?
Maybe around eight hours for Bucket. Bruise ... around 24 hours (He was under observation during the time I was on mag sulfate ... I'm still a little bitter about it. I wanted to hold him the day he was born, dammit.)

19. Kids bedtime routine?
After dinner, there's bathtime. They get dressed after a brief stint of nude racing and jumping on the couch (only nude on their part, thanks very much). Around 8 p.M., we have the last "deet" of the night, I carry Bucket to bed. Bruise climbs into his crib after Michael wrangles him into the bedroom. We turn on the nightlight, pray, give out goodnight kisses, and turn on the humidifier after we tuck the munchkin brigade into their cribs. I blow kisses as we leave the room and tell them that we love them. And they wave and say "buh-bye." Or scream. It depends.

20. Are your toes painted?
Not right now. For a few weeks. I almost painted them today. Last time I painted them, they were a creamy, bubble-gum pink with a sheer aqua topcoat.

21. Last movie you saw in the theater?
Transformers (for Michael). Before that was Harry Potter 5 (for the both of us).

22. Last time you had a date?
August. We went to a wedding.
We'll be going to the temple this week, though.

23. One thing you will not give up just because you are a mom?
My time online. This is why Bucket now knows how to turn on the TV ... AND how she knows to turn the TV off as the opening bars of the Barney and Friends theme begins.

24. One thing you did give up now that you’re a mom?
Volunteering at a local library. I really miss it. I miss the parking pass I got for doing that, too. I'm going back though. Soon. Before a year's up. *nods* It's a temporary sacrifice.

25. Best Mom you know?
There are many moms that I look up do and try to emulate. My own is one of them.
I mean, really. I survived my childhood and adolescence. She deserves a frickin' MEDAL.

There you go!

Now I'm really wondering what question 7 was ....