Thursday, January 15, 2009

If I had a clever title, I'd employ it HERE.

We tried Preschool Storytime ... which isn't terribly different from Wobbler Storytime, really. ... We didn't make it through the WHOLE time, but we did get to run into some of our library friends that I hadn't seen for a while. Which was nice.

Right now, I should (1) turn on the dishwasher and (2) fold some more clothes. Then I should (3) take a bath or something ... I'm ending my monthly age of insanity. And, even with Valerian, I'm just not feeling half as even-tempered as I did last month. (Which is yet ANOTHER reason why I feel like bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. No! Don't drop that hat! NO!! NOOOOooooOOOO!!! *bawls*)
Okay, so I'm not QUITE to that point ... but I'm sure not quite on top of my game.

And, since I'm already irritable, I find myself getting even MORE torqued when my dear, sweet, angelic babies WHINE AND SQUABBLE AND ARGUE AND SCREAM.
And then I find MYSELF yelling and fuming and grumbling and being entirely unlovable.

And what is the deal with my darling little girl PEEING HER PANTS EVERYDAY?
She can do WONDERFULLY at the library ... then she'll mosey, at home, to the bathroom and completely empty her bladder, in her clothes, NEXT TO the ********@@#$#@)&*()#@$)(#@)_* toilet.

Yeah, I really have no idea what profanity-laced curse that is supposed to be. Maybe it's like in Home Alone where the robbers are all "Fricker-fracker-*something-even-LESS-audible*"? I don't really know ...

And I'm waiting for that wonder of wonders ... the day when my angel boy finally decides that he's done with pooping in his diapers. I think that next week, I'm just putting him in those plastic pants. If there's a mess, I'm hosing them out in the sink ... and tah-dah! They're clean and ready for another go.

But, really ... I love my children. Why am I such a grump-a-lump? 

Oh, also? I feel fat.
It's like when PMS Geisha is all, "Does this obi make me rook broated to you?" But SO much more. And I don't even have any Funyuns ... not that I LIKE Funyuns ... But, gosh, I could go for some Doritos. Just not the plain ones. They're not an abomination ... but there is something of a travesty about them. *sigh*

But, NO ... my newest jeans? Yes, they don't fit all that great. When they fit FINE, like, last week. And I'm UBER-aware of the ROLL of FAT I have over the waistband ("Thanks, body! I'm all grateful that you hosted the presence of two babies at one time ... but let's just have that skin shrink, like a TON, please. I know that I'm not planning on wearing a bikini anytime soon ... like, EVER, but could we stop hoarding all this skin?? kthxbai.")
And ... yeah, just more of the same. I hate feeling fat. Because, overall, I'm not FAT ... I mean, yes, my BMI is more than where it should be. Hell, it was even when I was dancing and working a physically-strenuous job and being all physically active and all. I'm never going to be skinny. Not even Audrey Hepburn-skinny ... let alone Calista Flockhart or Paris Hilton skinny.
But, oh, sometimes I'd like to.
Because then I could buy cute, cheap bras. And cute, inexpensive underthings. And I'd like to go shopping for clothes again.
(Right now, I like to shop for shoes and make-up ... because shopping for those things don't make me feel fat. ... And it's been this way for a few years now. Ugh.)
("Self-loathing, hey ... how about you just put your sleeping bag here. I have a feeling that you're moving in for a while, eh?? Do you want a smoothie? How about a cuppa herbal tea?")

YES, I AM mentally-crazy enough to have fake conversations with my body and my self-loathing. Joy. ... Just a few more days and then the bloat will be gone and the mental health number will descend into safe territories.

Totally off-topic, I think I want to go to the zoo or the aquarium this weekend. That'd be nice. Road trip! 

Okay, off to do laundry and dishes and reading and relaxing (before my meeting tonight).
I can do this. 
(Actually the meeting should be, for the most part, fun. The two gals that I'm meeting with are GREAT. Seriously EXCELLENT. ... If only there weren't, you know, a MEETING.)

(Yes, I KNOW that the unoffical Fourteenth Article of Faith is "We believe in meetings, we hope for meetings, if there is ANY purpose for which there COULD be a meeting, we will strive to hold a meeting." ... And with my personal distaste for meetings ... yes, I'm a bad Mormon. and we haven't even talked about how I love coffee-flavored candy and ice creams. Yup, on the fast track to Hades ... that's me. :P)

1 comment:

Kate the Great said...

If you need to talk potty training tips, give me a call.... you surely remember how hard it was to get FP to stop having accidents.

Wanna take the kidlets swimming sometime next week?

Counting ...

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