Best Laid Plans and other random bits

Okay, so I last wrote on Thursday ... what's happened since then?

Friday -- We cleaned the house and fed the missionaries. We had nachos. If I do that again, I want a fondue pot or something that can handle a can of Sterno underneath it. The cheese sauce (melted Velveeta with some salsa tossed in) kept cooling and congealing. Not so fun. But it was tasty. It was a meal that Bruise actually ATE, so that was a huge success, no?

Saturday -- Cleaned the church building. One gal had come and cleaned the night before (since she had to work that morning), so Michael and I emptied the garbages in the classrooms, vacuumed the classrooms, and cleaned the four bathrooms that hadn't been cleaned. Oh, and I wiped out the drinking faucets. (For those of you not in the know, ward members are assigned to clean the ward buildings. And there are lists of what duties you need to do. In our building, we have three wards. Each is assigned one sheet of duties. One will have to wash windows, pick up any garbage outside, and vacuum and sweep the chapel and hallways and cultural hall and stage. Another ward will be assigned to clean the bathrooms, serving area (like a kitchen -- except we're not supposed to do meal prep in there. Legal reasons, you know? Crazy litigious society that we live in!), and vacuum the classrooms and empty the garbages there. ... I don't really know what all the other ward is assigned. We've only ever been cleaning the building when we've had either of those two sheets of responsibilities. ... And, after you (and whatever other people in your ward) are done with your sheet ... and you've signed off on all the duties, you call the person assigned over it and report to him. And you're done!

After that, we took the kids home for a nap. Which they didn't take. :(
Then, in the afternoon, there was a free nutrition workshop at the local library. With FREE CHILDCARE. Bruise happily played at the library's train table for about an hour and a half. Happy as a pig in the mud. Bucket would go back and forth between playing in the children's section of the library and then coming to sit with us in the presentation room/storytime room.

And, since she was with us when the food was served (our presenter, from OSU Extension Services made a healthy chili and pear quesadillas. Yum!) and was happily chowing down, we had our picture taken and put in the paper.

There we are. You can JUST see Michael's sleeve next to Bucket. Luckily, our names aren't attached to the image (they were in the paper, so I'm not giving you the link for that. Sorry! Just trying to protect my sweet babies from potential Weirdos (of the nasty-nasty sort)), so I can share the picture with you.

Truly, I think I look horrible. I'm not wearing a lick of make-up and the bold red of my jacket's totally reflecting off my pale-pale-glow-in-the-dark skin. And, heavens above, but could I smile? If I smiled and lifted my chin, I'd avoid looking so fat-in-the-face. *sigh* I know. I'm my worst and cattiest critic. Oh well. (I just REALLY need to work out. *sigh*)

Sunday wasn't all that eventful ... still enjoying the Family History course that we're in. I still have my work cut out for me. But, hey! It looks like there's been some work done on my mom's side. Work that she and I haven't done ... cool, huh?

Now, to yesterday. I had great plans for yesterday. I was going to get up, clean the house -- finish up the dishes, fold some laundry, vacuum, dust the living room, sweep/dust mop ...

Well, I did dust the living room. And I did a load of dishes. Everything else? Fell by the wayside.
I read with the kids. A chapter of The Book of Mormon (hey, we have to start somewhere, right?) and some Mo Willems books. We love us some pigeon books ... and anything else he writes, really. ^_^ I think we're going to have to buy his whole oeuvre of kids' books.

Bruise did take a nap when I asked. But Bucket? WAS. NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN.

Eventually, I really just lost it. She was in her room most of the day, SCREAMING and throwing tantrums ... even after Michael got home and took her for a drive. During which they discussed "Princess Behavior."

I did have dinner made. And, per Michael's suggestions before he was able to come home, she spent a while in the naughty chair in my bathtub so that I could keep an eye on her while I showered (there's a separate shower stall in the master bath).

It was NOT a very good day. At all.

But Michael, bless his heart, brought home ice cream for me (and him). He totally deserved it, too, with how much she screamed and fussed. We didn't read story-story (A chapter of "The Last Battle"). She, due to her attitude, also didn't get to listen to the scripture story. Bruise and I cuddled, him on my lap, and read about Christ and the ten lepers together.

I had remarked to Michael that, after a day like today ... Well, I almost wished that Bruise was an only child. He was SO good. At one point, I was in their room, sitting next to Bucket, in the hopes that she'd settle down and FALL FRICKIN' ASLEEP (which, you can surmise, she DIDN'T). Bruise stirred from his nap, turned over, saw me, grinned and waved at me, then rolled back over and went right back to sleep.

When he woke up, yes, I let him out of their room to play. He deserved it. And, gosh, he handled it well that the DVD player isn't working, so he couldn't watch the show that he wanted (usually the kids FUSS like nobody's business when something like this occurs -- usually a DVD from the libraries won't play. And I have to withstand the WHINE of DEATH). Bruise, though? He took it in stride (what a GOOD nap can do!!) ... and, instead, he played without a show. And was very happy to watch the kids' programming on OPB.

When I had told Michael how GOOD Bruise had been, Michael -- ever the optimist -- told Bruise, "You've been a very sweet boy. Don't let it go to your head."
(Yes, I LOVE my husband.)

Bucket, however ... well, I think that she ended up getting tired out enough by all the fussing and whining and SCREAMING that she finally went to bed around 8:30. When, usually she's nodding off in bed around 8PM. *sigh*

And then she threw up this morning. Into the toilet. I'm SURE it was due to the stress that was yesterday. She had a few cold showers and a few spankings and a few timeouts. Okay, a HELL OF A LOT of timeouts.

Yeah. I'm still ready for a nap. And a working perfectly DVD player. I mean, really, it's just over a year old. What's the deal with technology HATING me so much this year? Especially when I love my technology so????? *sigh*

So, yeah. If you can just pray that Bucket will return to the sweet princess that she usually is ... and that technology stops hating me. And, hey, if you can give me tips to motivate myself to exercise. And get off my duff and get the laundry folded. And how to stay sane ... well, sane-ish, anyways, I'd REALLY, REALLY appreciate it.

Just about as much as I appreciated Michael's bringing me a pint of "Americone Dream" (since, dude, it's got a picture of STEPHEN COLBERT on it!! :D Yup, I got myself a keeper. ^_^)

Funny aside ...

Sometimes your kids, as they're learning to talk, have very ... ENDEARING pronunciations.

Right now, the best one is how Bruise pronounces "ice cream."

Let's just say that it sounds like a trucker-type-language term for Desitin.

So if you hear it, be aware that we don't say "@$$" in this house. And that he really wants a frozen treat ... not not a "pah-sick-ell." Nope. The kind that can come in a cone or a dish.

Not treatment for diaper rash.

Just so we're all on the same page.

kthanxbai.

In which I gripe ... and then am very humbled

Let's get the griping out of the way first, okay?

In regards to other drivers, I just want to use the quote, "Lack of planning on YOUR part does NOT necessitate an emergency on MINE."

If you are putting off merging until the last second, don't expect me to be as happy and patient as if you'd put on your blinker right away. OR been in the correct lane in the first place.

And I say this even though I'm not great at parking and made a few people wait while I executed a three- (maybe five-) point turn in the library's parking lot. ... But I TRIED to wait until there weren't TONS of cars around. I try not to impose my crazy on everyone around me. (Part of my crazy is being unable to aptly gage space and distance ... and, therefore, I live in mortal fear of backing up into other cars or structures.)

Also, when I was volunteering yesterday, there were TONS of books. I arrived to find about four carts (one was only half-full. And already in the lobby. The rest were in the adjoining staff room). So I pull out one of the full carts, thinking to myself that I can totally just grab books off of TWO carts to shelve as easily as one. I push the mostly-empty cart in front of me and pull the FULL cart behind ... and it tips over and spills its load of around 60 alphabetized books. Because I'm JUST that awesome and effective.

(Two patrons immediately asked if they could help me. I said yes. And one of the library staff came and helped me put the cart back in order, assuring me that these carts are really "tippy" and that this has happened to everyone.)

But, yeah. Since the library had been closed for Martin Luther King (Jr)'s birthday on Monday, we were still catching up. It happens after every holiday (the week after Thanksgiving, when the library has been closed for TWO days is KILLER. I wasn't there for the aftermath of Christmas or New Year's this year. But I recall when I volunteered before, shelving the new [2 week checkout] books, it was rather ... crazy).

The kids are lying less. Which is good.

Bucket started ballet class. And proclaims to love it. (Bruise agrees. And he's technically in the class, too.) But you wouldn't know that if you'd seen her at class yesterday.
Bucket is most likely the youngest in her class, since it's for 4-6 year-olds and she did just turn 4. She has a church-friend in the class, which is nice. Bucket is, though, definitely the smallest. And, as with most new things, she was really reticent about joining in at first. She did participate with the group in the warm-up and the cool-down sections. However, the bulk of the class was spent either sitting on my mom's or my lap -- or (and this was much more preferable) practicing along with the girls as she stood next to our chairs.
Bruise didn't participate at all. I finally kicked him out of my lap so I could take a few pictures of Bucket being in class (and I SHOULD have taken the picture of her, tear-streaked, cuddling in my mom's lap). So, he ended up sitting in a chair next to me for 80% of the class.

Still, when both kids left class to walk to the car, they both proclaimed to Mom and me how they LOVED dance class.

Now, here's where I am very humbled. Lately, I've been kinda pissy (really, that's the best word for it, I'm sure) about our situation financially. We have credit card debt. We wouldn't have this debt if people in charge of the economy hadn't gotten greedy and screwed over the rest of the nation. If we didn't have this debt and things weren't so stretched, life would be a lot easier. ... We still wouldn't be the kind of family that could afford a yearly vacation with air travel or anything ... at least, not without saving lots and lots. We don't have tons of food storage. We don't have flashy cars or big screen TVs. Heck, right now, we're back down to ONE working computer. We don't have a Wii, nor do we have plans to buy one in the immediate future. When I get new clothes, it's almost always because they are gifts. When I gain weight (which has happened since this time last year), I have fewer and fewer clothes that look good on me. ... And, even with trying to be grateful for the good things, I find myself getting caught up in the sucky stuff:

• bills, bills, bills. And they're never all paid off , really. Because as soon as we get them paid, the NEXT one comes in.
• My kids are slowly trying to drive me mad -- lying, ordering me about like some plus-sized Cinderella (and HELL if I'm going to put up with that!)
• I've been sleeping wrong (or something) which has resulted in REALLY sore shoulders and neck for me ... which only adds to my cheerful, sweet disposition ... of wait, it doesn't. It leaves me PISSIER THAN EVER.
• Did I mention that my computer, which had started WORKING AGAIN, died AGAIN?
• I still miss my Gingi-cat. And I tear up about how much I miss her just THINKING of it. And I wonder if I'd rather NOT feel these emotions ... and if I could give them up, would I? Or would it be disloyal to her somehow? And it doesn't help that Diana-cat isn't much like my Ginger. Or that, every so often, I'll catch a glimpse of something pale out of the corner of my eye and, immediately, think that it's her ... and then I have to remember that it's NOT. And that I'm not really putting forth enough effort to perfect myself so that I can be utterly assured of getting to the Celestial Kingdom (because I'm one of my harshest critics. If not THE harshest) ... and if I don't make it there, I might not get to hang with my Gingi much.
  
• I get frustrated with myself for thinking the above. But have I gotten fully motivated to read my scriptures more (let alone really STUDY them)? I am praying a little more ... I could EXERCISE and get some endorphins.
• We're reading "The Last Battle" and things are so ... bleak/bad/suckified/crap. I KNOW that it gets better. I really do. It's not just faith because I've read this book before. MULTIPLE TIMES, even. But reading it aloud to the kids (because I have read it aloud before when it was just Michael and me, driving along) .... it just makes it (and life) seem more bleak/bad/suckified. Yesterday, I read some of Mo Willems pigeon books instead. Because they're lighter and funny and I just couldn't handle reading about Shift and his wicked designs.

I know, overall, it's stupid stuff. Nothing really that having a few fistfuls of money won't solve. And, truly, if throwing money at a problem solves it, it's not that huge of a problem.

Which brings me to this:

HAITI.

You can throw money at it, but not everything's being solved.

But the kids' pediatrician is doing what he can. He took action. And that's another reason why I love and respect our doctor.

http://www.gazettetimes.com/news/local/950a075c-05a3-11df-871b-001cc4c002e0.html

http://gazettetimes.com/news/local/article_b7120bfc-0665-11df-8899-001cc4c002e0.html

Here he is, volunteering and DEALING and HELPING with all of this.

Some people amaze me.
Most people amaze me ... Most people rise up and make great choices and DO great things.

They're not all greedy and power-hungry.

I have to remember this. Even when the actions of a powerful FEW affect the honest MANY.

There are good people. LOTS of good people.
If only we (If only I) could be more like them.

Then the would wouldn't feel like it's just so crap.

Here are a couple more examples that make me tear up ... but in movie form:

Sound of Hope:

Lost Generation:

Today, I'm grateful for: good examples, proactive people, that I DON'T live in a place that's war-torn or suffering from massive natural disasters. My healthy family who loves me. Our church.

Trying to get rid of my stinking thinking ...

Okay, ... So as I'm sitting here being a tab bit impatient and down about my computer and the fact that we're not just sitting here watching the monkey money roll in, well, I remembered hearing one of the General Authorities give a talk.

A talk involving lyrics from one of the songs from Fiddler on the Roof (which, coincidentally, is the first musical I ever remember seeing. At the high school that I attended. I think I was around ... six? seven? Around there, anyways).

And I *THOUGHT* it was Elder Jeffery R. Holland who gave it.

So, I'm searching and searching for it. Can't find it.

Because it was Elder Dallin H. Oaks.

Oops.

But, yeah, whenever I get all, well, pissy about my lot in life, I tend to recall this bit of the talk:

I love the musical and motion picture Fiddler on the Roof. There a wonderful Jewish father sings “If I Were a Rich Man.” His memorable prayer concludes with this pleading question:

Lord, who made the lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am;
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan,
If I were a wealthy man?
(lyrics by Sheldon Harnick [1964])

Yes, Tevye, it might. Let us give thanks for what we are and for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality.

And, yeah, it helps me to recall that I am NOT omniscient. I am given this trials because they're something that I need to endure. There's something in here that I'm supposed to learn. Hard as it seems, I am going to get through all this crap ... and I'll be all the better for it.

Like I was discussing with Michael the other day, it WOULD be really nice if our prayers were answered instantaneously (like the lights on our dashboard in the van. After Christmas, when Michael got gas, the dude there didn't close the gas cap all the way, so our "check engine" light came on. AGAIN. And it takes forever to turn back off. So, if had been a couple weeks. I was starting to get worried. [Okay, I was CONTINUING TO WORRY.] And THEN one of our doors was REALLY acting up. When we'd make a turn, it'd activate the light in a set of microsecond strobes. Not good. So we had to turn off the overhead lights in the car. THEN it stopped even RECOGNIZING that that side door was closed at all. ... So, what could we do but pray? ... And clean all the sensor bits with some rubbing alcohol. ... So we did both. And, really, within a week, the "check engine" light turned itself off. The sensors started working again. I can even leave the overhead lights on so that I can tell when a door is ajar without having to turn on the car. That little annoying red streak isn't showing up saying that a door's open when it really isn't. Phew!!)

Any, yeah, wouldn't it be NICE if all prayers were answered so expeditiously? I mean, it wasn't INSTANTANEOUS, but it was fast.

And, then, if a prayer couldn't be answered, if you could get a note explaining WHY it just wasn't going to work.

But then, on the other hand, that'd totally negate the need for faith. And so it just would't work. *sigh*

... Still ... it would be kinda nice.

But, yeah. I just need to figure out what I need to be learning and FREAKING DO IT so that I can totally get through all of this. And then, we can only hope, business will completely turn around, we'll get out of all debts (except, perhaps the mortgage ... and I'm fine with that), and I'll get A PONY! (Okay, not really. But maybe a gerbil or a frog or something? Something that I can handle cleaning up after ... Which means that it must make really SMALL messes. *sigh*)

... Okay, while the children are happy with their Little Einsteins DVD (after, thankfully, the DVD player has decided to cooperate. Sometimes it just really seems to hate me. *sigh* But it just needs a little time-out and it'll work again.), I should get into gear and go read my scriptures and pray and stuff.

I at least need to express my gratitude that the DVD player's working and that I was able to find that talk that I needed to.

Because I needed that reminder to be grateful for the trials that I have. They're for my good. I KNOW this. I just need to accept it and to learn what I need to learn so that I'll be able to get THROUGH this.

.....

Also, how am I going to get through reading "The Last Battle" without sobbing like a perfect idjit?? Because it's so frustrating in the beginning ... Shift is such a jerk ... *sigh*

Just pray that I'm going to get through everything and learn whatever it is that the Lord wants me to know asap. I'm positive it'll help.

*headdesk*

It's just been a little nuts around here.

Friday ... what DID we do Friday? I think we just cleaned house and laid around. Michael was still getting better from the cold that had kicked his butt Wednesday. Saturday, we went shopping for a birthday present for Bruise and Bucket's friend, H ... and to H's birthday party (Fun stuff).

I had a little cash, so I did buy a few things for myself. A copy of the Jan/Feb mental_floss magazine (since my subscription expired. D:), a journal for utilizing in my quest to develop a habit of scripture study, The Latke Who Wouldn't Stop Screaming (by Lemony Snicket, what more needs to be said? I love this book.) ... milk, a copy of Glamour ... I think that was really it.

Sunday was church. Michael's still both the Executive Secretary and 1st counselor in the EQ. So he's still having to do the meetings in the morning. I got us dressed and to church on time. The kids enjoyed playing with their paper dolls from thingsaltered.com. Bucket has a fairy pocket with Whisper and a couple sheets of her clothes. Bruise has (from my Dianne) the brown haired brother. And they played well with them, when they weren't fighting over (1) who got to sit in my lap and (2) who got to hold the little temple schedule booklet from 2008 (Unfortunately, i normally had the one from last year in my wallet. And I had taken it out. Guess I'll be grabbing it out of my bedroom to put into the church bag).

We started a new Sunday School class about Family History and Temple Work. Michael and I knew a bit of what out teacher was talking about, so he was filling things in from our old PAF file onto new.familysearch.org and downloading the new program that we're going to be using. The Church used to use Personal Ancestry File (PAF), but now they're using RootsMagic. You can download the basic version (RootsMagic Essentials) for free ... which fits our budget quite well. If you want the full version with all its bells and whistles, it's $29.99, so I hear.

Just so you know.

Oh, and the nice thing about RootsMagic is that it's fully compatible with everything that you've filled in at new.familysearch.com. And you can import your old PAF files into it. Which is nice and saves you some time.

After church, we watched the BBC version of The Silver Chair, since we had just finished it last night. (The book's better ... but I'm sure that you already knew that.) Then we started "The Last Battle." ... And, oh, just reading that first chapter ... Gosh, the world is really falling to crap, isn't it?

After the kids were put to bed ... and we had a discussion on proper nighttime behavior (lately, the kids will wake up in the middle of the night and try to crawl in bed with us in the wee small hours of the morning. Or coming to us and whining how they need to go potty) ... So I told them that, hey, if the sun is not up in the sky, they are NOT to get into bed with us/me. If they have to go potty in the middle of the night, they don't have to tell us. They also need to use THEIR bathroom, not ours. If the sun isn't up, they're not to cross our doorway. A little harse, but with how little sleep we get with them in bed ... especially if we've ... and we're not so covered ... ahem ... but you get my drift, I'm sure.

So ... then Michael and I watched "Earth Girls Are Easy," which was pretty cute. And young Jeff Goldblum? I'm not going to complain. I like him. *grins*

As we were watching it, we had the lights flicker due to the wind outside. And, well, what would you know ... this morning, my computer won't start. CRAP!! Crappitycrapcrapcrap!

Well, at least most of my stuff (besides my new booksmarks and the new roll sheets I had altered for YW) is backed up. *sigh* But STILL!!! I JUST got it running.

I cried a little.

And, since I had a sore throat last night (which still isn't ALL gone), I took some NyQuil. And I feel ... other ... this morning. I could sleep for another few hours. ... But I'd be feeling a bit better if my damn computer would freaking work! Grrrrr.

Looks like I'm going to have to rely on the kindness of my friends and family. Michael'll look at it when he gets home.

As you can tell from the previous post, I finished my latest book review. Not a bad book at all. However, the depressing thing is that over at Booksneeze (the new name for Thomas Nelson Book Bloggers), there's no books that I feel like reading. :( This is what happens when you procrastinate. If I had gotten it done even last week, I could have read a little Amish romance-thing. And it sounded good. *sigh* oh well. My loss.

So, yeah. It's not quite Allanna and the Awful, No-good, Very bad, Horrible Day (or whatever), but it's not the best day that I've ever had.

At least Michael's in the habit now of leaving his laptop, so I'm not cut off from everything. *sigh*

But, gosh, I just want MY computer! And, while I'm at it, I want all the files from my OLD HD, too! This way I'd have ALL my old bookmarks and everything that I've worked on during the last year. *headdesk**headdesk* *headdesk*

Time for prayer, scripture study, and trying not to let my dear children get on my nerves.
And let's do clean the bathrooms and get the kitchen into some semblance of order again. (It's about halfway there. Phew.)
And let's do finish folding the laundry and getting it put away. And perhaps I'll get off my duff and work up some endorphins by actually exercising. Not a bad plan.

But, really ... would it be so bad ... would it spoil some vast, eternal plan, if I were a wealthy [girl]?

Review: Rick and Bubba's Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage

Rick and Bubba’s Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage tells of what Rick and Bubba (and their wives) have learned in their own marriages – and from watching others’ relationships. They give short, to-the-point lessons infused with plenty of humor. The lessons are rather simple, but easily applicable to anyone’s life.

I enjoyed this book overall. There were a few things that Rick and Bubba discussed that I should work on in my marriage. Their writing didn’t ever feel preachy or condescending … More like two funny men (and their wives, who chipped in some advice on occasion) discussing life. The only think that bothered me a little is that sometimes Betty comes across as a little … gruff and less-than-charitable. However, “The Book of Blame” (a bonus chapter) had me snickering to myself.

Overall, I gave it 4 out of 5 stars. I would have adored it if Betty hadn't seemed to snippy when she talks about her husband, Bubba. Though, her griping about his weight could just have come across as such because I'm heavier than I should be and am a bit sensitive about it. We can't all be aerobic instructors.

As a Thomas Nelson book reviewer, I received this book free to review. This has been my honest and unbiased opinion of this work.

-----------------------------------

If you are interested in reviewing Christian-genre books, go to booksneeze.com and sign up.
Yes, this is one of the ways that I feed my addiction. ^_^

Nothing huge to report...

No real progress made in my goals. Meh.

Did a load of dishes. Need to fold laundry. Managed to refrain from going ABSOLUTELY FRAKKING POSTAL on my children.

(Note: Why are our children LYING to us? WHY???)

Getting further in my book-review book. Might have it up and posted by this weekend. Maybe.

Got caught up on the mental_floss blogs. Finally. Still kinda sad that I lost all the fifteen bazillion bookmarks that I had on my old hard drive. But, hey, that's life.

Besides, how many of those bookmarks was I really using? (Now, if I had about 2-3x our current income, I would be much more miffed at losing all the wildly fantastic bookmarks I had accumulated. Right now, I'm just sad for not having the cool website where you could read children's books -- like Lemony Snickett's "The Latke Who Wouldn't Stop Screaming," which is my absolutely favorite Hanukkah story of all time. OF ALL TIME!! ... Or a few games and videos ... *sigh*)

I think that I'm just going to have to give up on Bruise and Bucket taking naps. Which sucks for me. Especially since they ARE grumpy little snots at times. But I mostly love them. :P

One last chapter in "The Silver Chair." Then it'll be "The Last Battle." When Bucket asked what we'd read after that, Michael and I said that we'd discuss it. I offered Harry Potter as an option. Both kids opted for that. (After that, I might pull for Edward Eager's "Half Magic" and the accompanying books. Since I have all of those.
But, who knows? Maybe we should do Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain ... though that would mean that I'd really HAVE to learn to pronounce all of those Welsh names. And I'm really crap about Welsh pronunciation. It'd be nice to improve, though. Really nice.

Wow ... I'm really boring today. Like INSANELY boring. Ugh.

Complete and total non-sequitur: I really love Mo Willems' books. Especially the Pigeon series. And Piggy and Elephant. They just totally rock.

Michael's cold (which caused him to stay home from work on Wednesday) totally came back with a vengeance today. So it's been a mostly quiet day. He let me sleep in (which was really nice), then I let him get a nap. Quiet day.

Even though twice this week, I've had people accidentally call (in once case) and text me (in the second. And this was on purpose) early in the morning. Crazy, huh?

No wonder I slept in until, like, nine-ish. So nice.

... Ugh, If I hear much more whining, I think I will witness my head spontaneously explode. I just can't handle it so much right now. Especially after the lying and refusal to take a nap. And the tantrums.

If only straight jackets and duct tape were acceptable forms of discipline. If only ...

I sound like a Marsh-Wiggle. Full of cheer and cock-eyed optimism, that's me. /sarcasm.

Okay ... time to scrounge together some dinner. Ciao, my dears.

New Year's Goals -- Progress (and the lack thereof)

1. I am doing a little better on reading my scriptures and praying. I have a testimony that it's important ... so I should better really make it a habit that I don't have to THINK about, huh?
2. My computer is running. The monitor ... not so healthy. But, hey! I'm on the internet, I have most of the programs that I desperately want loaded on it. Now, to back-up EVERYTHING every month (or every couple of weeks. JUST so that I don't freak out when this ever happens again.) ... And to save up for a new computer. And a netbook. And an iTouch. Since I love me some technology.
3. I still need to review all the YW manuals and guidelines. I'm going to get on that.
4. I need to set up my VT appointments. But I've read the lesson. That's something, right?
5. I have not worked out at ALL, really. Any exercise that I've gotten has been purely accidental. Like cleaning the house or walking around the zoo. I haven't turned on an exercise DVD or anything. :(
6. My house IS loads cleaner. I do have a plan for the dinner calendar for last week and this week. I've been doing the FLYlady daily missions.
7. I haven't done anything about Bruise or Bucket's baby books. Or Gingi's grave marker. I'm not doing the 365 photo project. I haven't given a thought to NaNoWriMo (well, one thought. A totally different plot point. Which will lead me to sobbing when I'm writing it. Because I'm a sentimental idiot. But I can handle that. It'll be cleansing and ... well, hopefully, it won't be complete drivel. We'll see.
8. I've done one of the book reviews that I needed to do. One more. Then I can get a new book. The one downside of this book reviewing is that my choices are so limited. The options are often nothing that I've had on my TBR list. But that's not a bad thing, really.
9. We still need to attend the temple this month.

Yeah, I know that we're only two weeks into (and not even quite THAT yet) 2010 and I'm worried about my progress in my goals. Yup, sick in the head.

Heck, it's NOON and I've still not showered or picked up the photos that I have waiting at the store (so I can give them to my Nana when she comes to visit tomorrow). *sigh* I had best get on all that.

*sigh* I can do it. ^_^

The party report

So, I went completely sick in the head over cleaning my house ... meaning that it was pretty darn close to spotless. Or as close as I get.

I even cleaned the master bathroom. JUST IN CASE. And we stayed up to fold the mountain of laundry in our room. JUST IN CASE.

Friday, we went to the zoo. It was SO COLD. Cold enough that a good deal of the animals were inside, sleeping where it was warm. But, on the bright side, it was nearly deserted. Which was great due to my emotional state (Dear Mother Nature, I hate you. Smoochies! Signed, Allanna.) ... And the tiger was out, walking around, which was nice.

Then we went to the party for my Roxy's youngest daughter, since she's born three days before Bruise and Bucket. Good times. Pizza, pinata, cartoons, Sunny Delight ... My kids did NOT want to go home. But, alas, we HAD to ... Michael and I still had to make their cakes for THEIR party.

Bruise asked for a chocolate cake with a Decepticon symbol on it. He also wanted it to be a round cake. Thank goodness for my Pampered Chef round cake pans. I made his cake from scratch (but we used storebought frosting on that one. Except for the Decepticon. That was homemade buttercream. Dyed purple. Which is the hardest color to make, I think. I'm SO buying purple gel coloring for next year). It turned out well enough that my mother-in-law was raving about its texture! Go me!

Bucket's cake was made from a box -- Cherry Chip. Rectangle. With homemade pink sour cream frosting (which, together, taste pretty amazing), trimmed with storebought vanilla frosting and a few of MY little Disney princesses figurines (Belle, Ariel, Cinderella, Mulan, Aurora, and Pochahontas. Bucket was sad to learn that I don't have ANY Snow White figures. It saddens me, too.)

Michael took care of the decorating of the cakes. I did a crumb coat on Bucket's cake and made and colored the frostings (the ones that didn't come in jars). I think we got to bed by around 11:30 Friday night.

Saturday, we finished cleaning, Michael decorated the cakes, then we went to lunch with most of Michael's family.

When we got back, Mom (my mom) and Julie had arrived and had let themselves in. My dad and L (my, for all purposes, stepmom... if Oregon had common-law marriages, anyways. ^_^) were out, waiting in the truck. Oops! We were supposed to be home to let them in! I was very sorry about it, since Dad was obviously disappointed. But L told me to "get over it" since they hadn't had to wait very long at all. Phew!

One of Bruise and Bucket's friends, H, and one of his big sisters and his mom (whom I get to work with at church) were able to come as well. So that was fun. Of course, Bruise and Bucket's cousins were there. They had come in the morning with Michael's folks ... so it was an energetic party. Our children are very spoiled.

Some of the presents received:

• A bouncy horse
• Dress-up clothes (Bucket)
• A dress (Bucket)
• Money
• Legos (Bruise)
• Transformers (Bruise)
• DVDs - Mulan, Meet the Robinsons, The Fox and the Hound, and season two of Transformers: The Animated Series (with the cool, Manga-esque art. ^_^)
• Paints, smocks, and paper
• They each got an outfit (Bucket's has a purple shirt and pants, Bruise's has blue/gray camo pants and a Transformers shirt)

Really, my kids are spoiled. Michael and I got Bruise some Transformers cars (they don't transform, but they do have the corresponding Transformer on the bottom of the car.) and Bucket got a pair of hoop earrings, since she's had her piercings long enough to be able to wear them.

After most people went home, we waited around for C and A to come to trade cars with Michael's folks. During that time, Dad C helped me work on my computer. And, after C and A both got here, C helped us get it running.

(So, yes, you've read that right, I have a working computer again. I even have it loaded with most of the programs that I need on it and connected to the internet. I still need to get it connected to the external HD ... get the latest pictures of the kiddos transferred onto that.) ... Of course, I really do need a new monitor. This one's older than my BAYBEES ... and is showing it. The screen is ... wiggly and jumpy. So it's good that I'm not all that susceptible to motion sickness. Or I'd be BLUUUURGH-ing all over this keyboard. Ifkwim. Aityd.

So, yes. All in all, a good success. Phew!!

Now to gear up for the next one. 364 days until the next party, give or take. ^_^ I can do it.
(For someone who can talk easily with people, I really do seem to be a bit of an introvert now. I am still so tired after being social with so many people. Crazy, huh? But it's wonderful to have so much of the family together. I was so glad that my dad and L managed to come. ^_^)

Four Years Ago ...

Four years ago, I had spent all night laboring.

Four years ago, about the time that you two came into my bedroom this morning, you made your appearance into the world.

Four years ago, I found my life changed forever ... As cliche as that sounds, it really is true.

Bruise, my firstborn, you still push and shove your way through life. Not much has changed. you're still my little grumpy/cuddle/hungrybear. You're all boy ... though you scream like a girl (as you're oh-so-proud to declare).

Right now, your goal in life is to become a Transformer. Preferably an Autobot. However, you also want to be "Dark Aver" (Darth Vader).

You've grown taller and more talkative. You're sweet as can be ... except when you're being a punk. (And, NO, I couldn't possibly guess where you'd get THAT personality trait.)

You've grown to love singing -- Your favorites are "I am a Child of God," "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam," "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," and The Imperial March.

You stage epic lightsaber battles in the living room ...

You are, most times, an extreme delight. I'm glad that you're my son and that I have the opportunity to be your mother.

Bucket, my princess, you were the child I first held and first nursed. You seem to go through life with a grace and ease that I can only envy ... And I can't even do that. I hope that you always maintain your confidence ... and use your charm for good and not evil. ^_^

You are a remarkably pretty little girl -- your smooth, creamy skin and shiny curls. And you match your looks with your intelligence. Which sometimes worries me.

You love to be helpful and to try and be a second mother to Bruise. You're a born nurturer. As well as a born flirt.

You're already starting to read ... which floors me. You are so motivated to go into school already that it kills me that you're going to miss the cut-off date for Kindergarten. You are driven -- to the point where I am aghast at how stubborn you can be (Not that I'd know WHERE you could have learned a personality trait like THAT).

Bruise and Bucket, I'm so glad that you're both healthy, smart children. That you are surrounded by family and friends who adore you. (Truly, whenever I go anywhere without you, people will ask where you are. I am, for a good part of my existance, [Bruise] and [Bucket]'s mother. I can handle this.) I am so glad that you are lucky enough to have a daddy who loves you and plays with you.

When I don't get out of bed before you get up (which is, to be perfectly honest, most of the time), you run down the hall to hop into bed and cuddle with me. You beg me to play your favorite Facebook games (Happy Aquarium is there at the top of the list). We're working our way through The Chronicles of Narnia (right now, we're in the middle of "The Silver Chair") and debating on what to read for bedtime stories after that ... Even though you, Bucket, seem to fall asleep before the chapter's done each night.

I don't quite know what this year will bring for you. Hopefully, the economy will turn around so we can spoil you both much more. I'd really love to buy you the bunk beds that you covet ... and a doll house and a train table ... Heck, while I'm thinking big, how about a bigger house with a playroom? Your own computers? A Wii? An Xbox, so you'll know what it is after quoting that scene with the black crane in BBC1's "Walk on the Wild Side" (Daytime ... Nighttime!!). And, hey, after you were both so well-behaved when we saw "The Princess and the Frog," if I had the money, I'd take you out to the movies a lot more often.

Still, even without tons of money, it's fun being your mother. Even though I often lose patience and find myself yelling and getting frustrated. ... Even so, I do love you both very, very much.

Many happy returns, my sweet ones.

Crazy Dream Chronicles - It's a TWOfer!

Now, I apologize that I don't remember ALL the details from my dreams. But, considering that I had TWO different dreams on the SAME night, ... well, maybe that'll be somewhat appeasing.

First dream -- I dreamt that I got back from volunteering. And there were Mom, Bruise and Bucket, like normal. Except that Mom and Bucket were sporting very DIFFERENT hairstyles. My mom was missing a chunk of hair in the front. About a palm-sized area was cut away. Bucket's hair (which is really about to her waist when wet (when it's dry, it springs back to about three inches shorter) was cut up to her shoulders ... except for one piece over her left shoulder, which was the same length as normal. It appeared, especially with Bruise's untouched haircut, that BRUISE somehow got hold of the clippers and went to town on his Mutti's hair and then sliced off most of his sister's hair with the scissors.

Good thing it was just a dream, right??

The SECOND dream -- Considerably more interesting. Especially since nothing at all horrendous happens to my family in it.

And I think that my Cynthia will very much approve of this dream.

It was like a mash-up of Castle and Supernatural, in that the police had conscripted the aid of Sam and Dean Winchester in solving some cases.
Now, the really depressing part of writing about this dream is that there were, like, THREE cases. And I don't remember the details! I remember, in the last one, those Winchester boys and the villianess (and her assistant) were in some industrial-type kitchen (like in a restaurant or a school or something) and they were trying to slice up Sam and Dean (who were trying to apprehend them and get the confession out of the one gal) and Sam, I think, turned the tables on her and asked how she'd like her uterus sliced out ... since, as I do recall, the main reason for her crime spree was that she was with one guy ... and I think she got pregnant by him. And she killed him and the unborn baby because she was holding out for her Mr. Darcy because what she wanted (more than a Mr. Darcy) more than ANYTHING, was to live at Pemberly. Yeah, she was a messed-up little chickadee, huh?

THIS is what happens after my rampant case of insomnia (Thank you, Mother Nature, you little whore. :P)

OTHER results of my insomnia and my raging hormones:

• My kitchen is CLEAN - wiped down the cabinets, swept/scrubbed the floor, the counters are clean, the cupboards reorganized. I'm SICK in the head.
• Cleaned the kids' bathroom. We're talking microfiber towels and anti-bacterial Windex. EVEN ON THE FLOOR. I soaked their toothbrushes in bleach water. ALONG WITH THE TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER.
• The front parts of the house are cleaned and vacuumed.
• I did that book review yesterday. I read that book ALL Monday night.
• My desk is lots cleaner.
• I have the YW calendars started through March.
• I have almost all the laundry in the house washed and dried (but not folded or put away. *sigh*)
• I'm freaking out about getting the laundry room organized. And cleaning our bedroom and bathroom. Since those are the last bastions of clutter and uncleanliness. God help me, it's going to be quite a chore.
• I also am determined, amid all that cleaning, to read and review the last book that I have for Thomas Nelson. Then I'll be able to order away for some other free book.
• I also am down to having only one unread book from either library. Yes. One library book between two libraries that I haven't read. I've actually gotten caught up on all the ones that I NEEDED to read (even though, before Christmas, I did turn in quite a few that I hadn't yet read. I was just feeling lots of pressure. After this weekend, though, I'll be checking out books. And, hopefully, getting through all of them. ^_^)

THIS is what Mother Nature (sometimes I really HATE her) does to me.

I don't totally mind the being-totally-productive part. It's nice when Michael comes home and tells me how awesome I am -- having the front part of the house, INCLUDING THE KITCHEN, clean and dinner made. Yup. Impressive. Doesn't always happen as often as I'd like it to. :( Especially, what with my two munchkins, it's totally a full-time, continuous, never-ending job. Lord love my little monsters.

Especially after my dear sweet cherub smeared one of her new liquid lipglosses ALL OVER THE COUCH CUSHIONS (which are now in the wash with a healthy dose of a laundry detergent/color-safe bleach/Oxi-Clean cocktail). Yes, she did that JUST NOW. *sigh* chants to self "I love my children. I love my children" amid deep, yogic breaths.

I'm not doing quite as great on my goals/resolutions for 2010. I'm going to be working on that.

Probably, I should print them all out onto a list and stick that up in the bathroom ... That would probably help, no?

Let me get on that. STAT!

The Sweet By and By - Sara Evans (Book Review)

The Sweet By and By is about Jade, whose upcoming marriage is swiftly approaching. She debates whether or not to invite her mother, Beryl – who is just about Jade’s polar opposite, a free spirit who enjoyed Woodstock, in comparison to Jade’s staid existence as a shop owner and the soon-to-be wife of a lawyer who often suffers from panic attacks. Before Jade’s marriage, she has to come to grips with her past and her family – as well as adapting to the differences in the family she’s marrying into. Will Jade be able to let go and heal from her past or is her upcoming marriage going to fail before they even exchange their vows?

Overall, I mostly enjoyed The Sweet By and By. The family dynamics in both Jade’s and Max’s (her fiancé) families were interesting. Also, having a novel with romantic elements but without premarital intercourse was a refreshing surprise. The writing is clear.

However, as I read, the plot seemed to all move along well enough until about three-quarters of the way through. Then it all seemed to rush into a huge climax … and then peter out a little. The pacing in the beginning worked well. Toward the end … I just am not so sure about it.

The plot is original enough. Some events are a little predictable, but not too many. The characters are original and have believable dialogue. Still, with all the strong points, I don’t know that I would re-read this novel. But, if you’re looking for a quick read without graphic language or sex scenes, this might be the book for you.

I am a reviewer for Thomas Nelson Publishing. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for this book review. This review is my honest and unbiased opinion.

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If you want to review books for Thomas Nelson, here's their website: http://brb.thomasnelson.com/join

They do mostly Christian fiction and non-fiction. You can request one book at a time. After you review it on your blog (and you can create a new blog just for reviewing these books) and on a consumer website (e.g., Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, etc.). They'll ship you your book for free.

Right now, I still have one more book to review (I've been procrastinating terribly). This book, I was able to get because, every so often, Thomas Nelson will offer (on a first-response-first-gets system) a bonus book. Usually due to the fact that this book is a new book that they're publishing. And getting reviews put out on its first day helps. ^_^

This is my ... what, fourth book review for them. So, obviously, that means that I've gotten four free books. And, after you review the book, you're free to keep it or give it away or whatever.

This review, is the first time that I've reviewed a fiction work. All the others have been either Non-fiction or self-help.

(Coincidentally, I didn't enjoy this novel as much as I liked the other books I've reviewed. Probably because I have higher standards and read a heck of a lot more fiction. :P)

But, yeah. If you want to get some free books. And you don't mind writing around 200 words and posting it two places (so, all in all, depending on your writing speed, maybe one hour of work in exchange for a book), go for it!

(Sometimes it's not just books. My friend, Katie, who also signed up with Thomas Nelson, got to review a DVD with her kids.)

Figured that I'd share the wealth. And, really ... if I worked harder, I'm sure that I could have received at least double the books that I have currently gotten. Speaking of, probably within the week, there'll be another book review. So that I can get a new book. ^_^

Good-bye, 2009. Hello, hello 2010.

I can totally admit to the fact that I tend to live in the past. I can AGONIZE over choices that I could have (maybe SHOULD HAVE) made at various points in my life. ... I still get VERY peeved when I see all the changes that have occurred in my hometown. I know, I know. The world does NOT revolve around me and my inflated sense of nostalgia ... I'm trying to come to terms with this fact.

I also cannot believe that it's been a year since I was flitting around town, scrambling to find edible glitter and the correct food colorings for Bruise and Bucket's birthday cake and cupcakes for their third birthday.

I also can't believe that it's only been a matter of months since the recession started. THAT, my dears, feels like it's gone on FOREVER. The bad kind of forever (as opposed to my feeling like Michael and I have been married for forever. That forever makes me happy. And almost wipes out how I agonize over what COULD have happened if I HAD kissed K in that play during the Ren Faire when we were sophomores. Could I have had a date for Prom my Junior year ... and then P and I wouldn't have had our friendship go all weird there for a while. But then he (P, not K) and Rox wouldn't have gotten engaged ... and he wouldn't have cheated on her ... Yeah, I don't know. Would things have been better? Or just different. And I probably wouldn't have liked myself all that much, since I WAS dating F right then. Not that he had a problem with my stage-kissing boys. Which was good, since I was in theatre ... But he and I really didn't suit. We didn't (and still don't) have all that much in common. (Truly, we have even less in common now. And I still think about the fact that I owe him a form punch in the nose for taking advantage of a friend of mine ... But that's neither here nor there, now is it?)

We should take down the Christmas tree soon. I need to get a picture of it. I feel bad that we really didn't get presents for the kids this year. Stupid recession hitting us hard. But, hey, they really didn't notice that at all. They got their yearly ornament (or, in this year's case, a set of ornaments each) and they received more than plenty from their family who loves them very, very much. (Costumes, dolls, Transformers, pajamas, lightsabers, cars, Lincoln logs ... good stuff. Yes, my babies are SPOILED.)

We bought their birthday presents today. Nothing really huge. I'll post what they got on their birthday.

Michael's getting a new calling. Glad that it's not me. I freaking LOVE my calling. I'll be so absolutely depressed and dejected when I have to give it up. So, yeah, we'll have a few changes happening around here ... even in our family schedule. Nothing really, really huge ... just different.

Bruise and Bucket start Primary this Sunday. What's nice is that one of their Nursery leaders is now their teacher. And I get the other in YW with me. I love them both ... and I'm so excited to have one with the YW. She totally makes me laugh so hard. (Seriously, you have not LIVED if you haven't played Scattergories with her. HILARIOUS!!)

In my YW Presidency meeting yesterday, it was brought to my attention that I had accidentally moved my birthday to be the same day as our president's. She and I have a couple days in between our birthdays. I played it off, citing that (1) I'm quite fallible and (2) that I wanted to be her TWINSIE!!! We had a good laugh about that. ^_^

I should use the pasta maker that I got for Christmas. It'll be a good thing. Get me off the computer more. And fresh, homemade noodles will be yummy and healthy and (most importantly) CHEAP.

I've been reading (Dexter in the Dark, Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog, Shakespeare's Landlord ...) and proofreading paper for a friend of mine. (LOVE the "Track Changes" in MS Word. Makes it easy to proof papers online.)

Michael and I went to the temple. And saw Sherlock Holmes (GOOD. Liked it a lot. I'm ready to own in on DVD.) Boxing day, we went with Michael's family and the kids to see "The Princess and the Frog." First time taking Bruise and Bucket to the movie theater. They did really well. Phew! Maybe we can make more of a habit of this. ... When we have money to do so. ^_^

BUMMER THING: My daughter, who takes after her mother in the area of childhood tact ... well ... My mom emailed me last night, letting me know that Bucket was talking about my mom's rear. And using the words "really, really big." Which had really hurt my mom's feelings.
If Bucket hadn't been asleep, I think I would have dragged her out of bed and raked her over the coals, vented my spleen, read her the riot act, and really have let her have it. Since she was asleep, we waited until we were all up and awake and had a DISCUSSION. And touched on this DISCUSSION repeatedly. We DISCUSSED using KIND WORDS and what is and is not appropriate to discuss.
(I can say that she takes after me because, as a child, I kinda offended/hurt my Pop-pop by getting after him and his smoking habit. ... I'm sorry that I hurt his feelings. But, deep inside, I really was right. Because he died of lung cancer. ... I really would give near anything to have been wrong. Sucks, huh?)
But, hopefully, Bucket will stop "trying to be funny/silly" and treat my mom with more respect. (And my mom felt like maybe SHE was being too sensitive. No. My daughter just needs to learn tact and how to filter. STAT. She's not allowed to hurt my mommy's feelings. That's that. Or else I'll be SORELY TEMPTED to handle it how my mom handled it back in the day when _I_ questioned why her posterior was the size it was. ... She slapped me across the face. I learned REAL FAST not to ask THAT question again. ... I don't want to do that, though. It's kind of my last resort. Let's pray that I don't have to resort to it.)

That's mostly the whole catch-up ...

I should, like, I don't know, write down goals or crap for this year. (Hope for more goals and less crap. ^_^

• Really, for real, make a steady habit of personal prayer and scripture study.
  This shouldn't be such a struggle. But, for me it is.
• Make a steady habit of exercise. Because _I_ am tired of being out of shape.
  And, really, how am I supposed to be a good example to my kids if I'm not making exercise a priority? ... Yeah, that's what I thought. Thanks.
• Back up all my stuff to the external HD once a month.
• Review the guidebooks and stuff for YW (Our YW Pres recommended this)
• Attend the temple at least 1x/month.
• Maybe start doing FLYlady again ... it'd be nice to have a consistently cleaner house.
• Plan meals out at the beginning of every week (or, even better, every MONTH) -- so that I will have an idea of when to start dinner and what to shop for and all that.
• Get my computer up and running again. *sigh*
• Maybe do that 365 picture thing ... Just maybe.
• Be prepared for NaNoWriMo this year. ... Since I lost all my previous work, do you think that I should restart the plot that I had going this year? Since I'll have some time and all, I could easily revamp and make an outline and, I don't know, have NAMES PICKED OUT FOR CHARACTERS and stuff?
• Finish Bruce and Bucket's baby books. BECAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO BE FOUR. THEREFORE IT'S DEFINITELY TIME FOR ME TO GET THAT STUFF DONE.
• Finish the two books I have from Thomas Nelson publishing and review them. So I can get another free book to review, and so on and so on and so on, worlds without end, Amen. (Was that sacrilegious? Or blasphemy? I'm not TRYING to be so, just so you know.)
• Get my girly-bits examined and a general check-up. Since that'd be a good thing to do. Not enjoyable, per se. But good, preventative medicine.
• Make a little marker for Gingi-cat's grave.
• Update my address book in Gmail ... get everyone's physical addresses added into that, so that, should anything happen, heaven forbid, I will still have people's addresses.
• I want to get my visiting teaching done every month. Not just for the numbers ... but because I feel better when I know that I've done what has been assigned to me. I hate feeling like I've dropped the ball.

Well, I think that's enough for now. *sigh* We'll see how well I do. And, hey, since I've shared these goals with you, you get to help keep me accountable.
If I fail, don't rub my nose in it, TOO much. Just enough to keep me humble. Not so much that I'll be calling every doctor I know, trying to get a prescription for Valium or anything.

Happy New Year's, everyone! Let's hope and pray for a year of health, love, and some material wealth. ^_^

Or, at least, that things will be getting better and better ... as opposed to the contrary.

In which I talk about a dissapointment ...

So, yesterday, I was so thrilled that FINALLY my hold on TrueBlood came in at the library.
I've really enjoyed that series by Charlaine Harris (and the other books of hers that I've read. I really like her style. It's fun!)

So, Michael and I pop in the first disc. I think we watched maybe a half-hour before we're all, "Um, no."

I was taken aback by all the cussing. Harris' books aren't like that. Sure, there's SOME. But nothing like what the screenwriters put. And I do NOT need to see a couple of people totally going at it nekkid to know that Sookie's brother is a total player.

I know that they always say, "Show it, don't tell it." But, my dears, that's for LITERATURE. I don't have to know EXPLICITLY what sexual acts a character does to know that s/he gets around. You could have a narrator or another character or two mention it. Which Harris does.

Yeah. Total disappointment.

As I muttered after I switched it off, "At least I have ice cream." Because Michael's awesome and brought me home a pint of Ben and Jerry's Brownie Cheesecake. (He almost grabbed me the AmeriCone Dream, since it's made to support Stephen Colbert's charities.)

So, yeah, the night wasn't a total waste. But, grrrr. It really ticks me off that HBO did that to the Sookie Stackhouse books. The books are quite a bit tamer in language and ... stuff. For the most part. I mean, yes. There's some steamy stuff. But people aren't throwing around the f-bomb willy-nilly like in the show.

(I understood it in Dexter, since I watched the pilot after LOVING the first book. THAT, now, was faithful to the book. There IS language in there. And Jeff Lindsay, the author, does explain why certain characters use the language that they do. So I'm okay with that. ... Still, it's why I don't watch the series.)

[RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: While I really don't like hearing vulgarities or profanity in shows, I don't care so much if I'm reading it. ... I seem to auto-edit. Unless it's really vital to the content/meaning of the statement. I don't know why. But it's what I do. I'll notice if there's language in written media ... but, overall, I don't mind it so much as I do when I HEAR it.]

Michael, bless his dear heart, was really taken aback by TrueBlood since he misunderstood which book series it was about. He was under the impression that it was based on L.J. Smith's Vampire Diaries series (which is a YA vampire series published when I was a girl. I remember reading Smith's books as I walked home from school in Jr. High. Or during classes [when my work was done, of course] in high school. Her books are one of my guilty pleasures. And, truly, I love her books. Whereas, I tolerate Twilight.) ... No wonder he was shocked.

(You have to give him points, though, for knowing that there is a show based on those books. It's on the WB CWTV. And called "The Vampire Diaries." ... I've heard that it's good. But that it doesn't stick to the plot lines in the books. I'm willing to give it a shot.

So, in my opinion, TrueBlood = EPIC FAIL.

If I can't even make it through a pilot without having to turn it off ... well, you've lost any chance of me watching the show.

It ticks me off something fierce, too. Because I was really ready to LOVE it. If it didn't have gratuitous sexxxins and tons of cussing. (I can handle a few sh**, maybe one f-bomb every couple episodes, ... I can totally handle "crap," "hell," and "damn" ... If you're gonna cuss a bunch, though ... Either don't do it or be cool like Firefly and do it with different words (C'mon, we TOTALLY know what they're saying when they use terms like "gorram" or "rutting.") or insults in Mandarin (I totally used "gosa" ["crap"] in the shower this morning).

So ... yeah. I think that you get my point. That I was not impressed with TrueBlood.

And I really, really wanted to be!

(Just like how I wanted to LOVE Mad Men ... and, truly, the costuming and props are DIVINE ... but, DUDE, EVERYTHING's about sex. sexsexsexsexsex ... Meh. We didn't even complete the whole season before losing interest. And it even had YoSafBridge in it!!!!!!!! And I love her!!! ... If you don't know who YoSafBridge is, you have not watched all of Firefly. Go forth, do so. Love it. Those are your commands.)

Now, I'm giving HBO one more chance. I'm going to check out season one of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. Because I love, love, love, love, love that series.

(Seriously, this is a book series without swearing and sex scenes. I feel uplifted and happy when I read any of the books. This book series is a total GEM, I tell you,. It's really different from anything that I've read before. And I love it. Have I mentioned that????)
So, HBO, if you've screwed this one up, you are dead to me.

(Signed, Allanna -- who wishes that all movies would be PG-13 or lower. 'Cause I don't need to be seeing people in their altogether or hearing the f-bomb, well, EVER. Thanks, smooches, bye!)

In which I step in a wet spot on the carpet ...

So, I woke up as Michael was getting ready (a time which I refer to as "the butt crack of dawn," which has a kind of poetry to it. ... Not really. The poetical-ness-essence. I DO refer to the crazy-early part of the day as what I said above.) and I couldn't fall back asleep.

So I went online and looked at ornaments to see if there are any that I really, really want to get for Bruise and Bucket. Since I try to make sure that we buy them an ornament every year. Relating to something that they like. Hallmark has NO Transformers ornaments. LAAAAAAAAME. Bucket likes enough things that I can find her an ornament just about anywhere. And Hallmark's a little out of the budget right now. So I may just scrounge at Target.

But, since I'm up before the kids are, Michael talked me into getting a shower before I have another chance to replay the fiasco that was yesterday afternoon. *rolls eyes* If the kids had just LISTENED and taken that nap, everything would have been fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

But, yeah. I get my shower. The kids come in while I'm taking it and belting out Disney songs. I get dried off and dressed. We watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special (in which I almost fall asleep, since I've been awake since around 5 AM. TOLD YOU it's the butt-crack of dawn) ... which takes up to about 8 AM.

The kids get to eat burnt cookies for breakfast, since I really don't care. I go and start making the big bed and Bucket's bed in the kids' room (washed the sheets on the guest bed ... and Bucket had an accident a couple nights ago, which necessitated washing HER sheets again. *sigh*). And, as I went to put the fitted sheet on the big bed, I stepped in a spot of wet carpet.

I ask the kiddos what this is ... Is it pee? Is it water? And, of course, I get two different answers. Both blaming it on the other sibling. Joy. So, I turn off the show they're watching, make them lie in bed for a timeout, make the beds, and have a TALK about LYING.

Bucket eventually caves -- the wet is pee. From her. From last night. Because she was mad at Mommy and Daddy. Because we didn't read to them from The Silver Chair (which, coincidentally, was part of the punishment for the folderol that was yesterday afternoon).

Yup, this is my life, ladies and gentlemen. This is my life.

I have errands to run. Do I really feel like going out and getting gas, going into town to get my library book and a few presents, heading to Target to get ornaments, or even staying home and baking with little liars in tow?

Hells to the NO, my loves. Hells to the NO.

What I really would love, love, LOVE to do is just grab a bottomless mug of Irish Creme-flavored steamed milk, wrap myself up in a cocoon of my down comforter, and read and do crossword puzzles.

While my children leave for a prolonged trip on a space shuttle.

Although, truly, in real life, after about two hours without them, I'd start to miss them and regret sending them into deep space without a cell phone or long underwear.

So, I suppose that I really shouldn't partake in this fantasy.

Though a steamer made with Irish Creme-flavored syrup does sound utterly divine. Perhaps I can make that my reward after I clean the house and get my errands done.

I don't like being this mean, unhappy parent. It's not something I enjoy.

Why can't my children just LISTEN to me for a change? It wouldn't be half as irritating if I didn't love them and KNOW that they are really decent kids.

*sigh*

Yup, listen to me, everyone. Then call the WAAAAAAAAAAH-mbulance. Yes, I know that I'm being whiny. I'm totally aware of this. It doesn't make me any happier than it makes you.

Today would be a perfect day for a zombie uprising. Too bad that I'm too much of a wimp to use the shotgun well. (Hey, it HURTS. Especially when you don't hold it positioned properly and the kickback gets you right in the boob. OWWWWwwwWWWWwwwww. ... Not that I speak from experience or anything ... *shifty eyes*)

Okay. I better get to baking and doing the dishes and putting on a clean, dry pair of socks (to replace the pair I had to throw in the laundry. Ew.) and getting the kids ready to brave the wild outdoors. And make dinner. And get ready for the holiday. And get my Visiting Teaching done. And read my scriptures and say COPIOUS, MYRIAD PRAYERS that I'll get through this, that life will be all happy-fun-times-with-rainbows-and-unicorns ... and that I won't be tempted to throttle my dear. Little. Darling. Children.

(Ha. When I was typing "darling," I accidentally typed "darnling." Freudian slip on the keyboard, you think?)

Maybe I should be all crazy and go buy the soundtrack to Glee and sing along. It might help.

In which I say "gorram" a lot. And then I lick the spoon.

Don't get me wrong. I love the holidays.
Like, I tear up when I sing songs about the Baby Jesus. I LUV da Baby Jesus something fierce.

So, today, after the folderol that occurred this afternoon, I manage to start cooking. I made the batter for chocolate crinkles. I made the centers of the peanut butter balls (Buckeyes) with the recipe that I STOLE from my dear Dorie. I'm making the brownies from Black Apple... I have a few things going on (and, all the mean time, I'm yelling at the kids' door for them to just take a dang nap!!!!!).

I am NOT Martha Stewart. Not in the least.

• Martha does not do her cooking in an untidy kitchen.
• She doesn't do it wearing sweats.
• She has her hair properly coiffed. Not uncombed like a savage heathen.
  (No offense to any heathens among you. I'm using hyperbole. Please don't be offended by the use of cliches. You know that I love you.)
• Martha has a proper double boiler for when she's dipping the PB balls. She doesn't just place a random glass pie/casserole dish on top of a saucepan and hope that it works.
• Martha also doesn't say "dammit" or "gorram" every gorram time she burns her arm with the steam coming up from the makeshift double boiler.
  (Which in my case is rather often. The cussin' and the burning of my arm. It's a Christmas miracle that I have any skin left on that arm.)
• She also isn't a complete flub at putting parchment paper into glass baking dishes for the brownies (At least the recipe is easily doubled and only really dirties one dish in the preparation. And they're soooooooo good).

Yes, it's a good thing that my children are mostly in their room so they don't hear me say gorram about eleventeen gorram times.

And then, as I'm getting the brownies in the oven and licking the spoon (BECAUSE I CAN!), I try to think if I've eaten anything today besides the tidbits of cooking, (Oh, yeah, I had a very good sandwich earlier) (But the fact that I have to HAVE this conversation with myself is what brings me to the inevitability of my future where I will contract Type II Diabetes. )

And I then I lick that spoon some more. Because if I'm gonna suffer Diabetes, I might as well enjoy my life (and all the sugar, sugar, sugar, simple carbs, sugar, simple carbs, sugar) as best as I can.

Before it's all ripped away from me ... leaving me alone and senseless. Like Bertha Rochester, but not so violent, I hope. More forlorn, I think.

Pitiful, huh, that my future will be that of some crazy woman in a Gothic novel.

If I wasn't so spent what with the spider that was in the sink this morning as I was doing the dishes (BUT IT WAS THERE!!! AND IT COULD HAVE BEEN A BROWN RECLUSE AND THEN, IF IT BIT ME OR THE KIDS, WE'D HAVE ULCERS OR SOMETHING ICKY ON OUR SKIN!!!!!!), the aforementioned folderol, and the fact that my children APPARENTLY HATE ME BECAUSE LISTENING AND OBEYING IS JUST TOO MUCH TO ASK OF THEM!!!!!!!! ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I can't wait for Michael to be home so he can pet my hair and call me his pretty little tulip and I can pretend that I'm dainty and sweet and lovely. And then he can bake all the cookies, so I don't have to look at any baked goods for a good hour or so.

I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of my kids not napping. *sigh* I'm tired of spiders being in my house. EVER. If I wanted them in my house, I'd go out and buy engraved invitations for them. Have I done that???? NooooOOOOoooooo. Why don't those dang arachnids get the point? *sigh*

Though, I do feel a little self-righteous that spellcheck didn't know the word folderol (I did have to check the spelling. I was wicked-close. So there!)

Then I remember how many times I've said "gorram" ... thus cementing my place in Hell.
(I joke. Repentance is still possible. Thanks be!!! ... And that's one reason we celebrate this season.)

But, yes. I think I'm ready for a nap. Or some brownies. .... Or eggnog. Yum. I think I need some posthaste!

Sometimes my life is ... insane.

SOOOOOOO ... My mom-in-law's friend was going to drop a package by our house for us to take down to Michael's folks.

I FINALLY get around to getting a shower. The kids are not quite napping, so I am singing and not listening for the door.

Next thing I know, as I'm putting a robe on over my bathtowel is that someone's in the hall.

Turns out that MIL's friend is worried since my daughter (who doesn't want to take a nap) is crying in the window (next to her bubbly and happy brother) and calls my MIL, who lets her know how to get into the house since I'm not answering the door (being in the shower and all, of course).

Michael calls and is like "FINALLY, you've answered the phone. Mom's worried! Grandpa and Grandma are going to check on you."

So, I respond full of maturosity and poise (read: with cursings and threats to our strong-willed daughter) and assure him that I'm okay as I throw on any quick clothes that I can, since I've finished entertaining my mom-in-law's friend in two towels and a robe.

I call my MIL, to assure her that I'm okay and to give her the backstory. Then I proceed to give my girl-spawn a FIRM talking to, involving raised voices and ending in the too-calm, icy, hiss that you dread ever hearing from a parent.

My children are hunkered in their beds waiting for the other show to drop.

My tears of anger have not spilled over.

I'm wearing sweats and haven't combed my hair.

I may never take a shower again.

I may invest in an extra-large pet carrier for my children. And keep it in a deep dark basement.
(note to self: buy a basement. Preferably one that is deep and dark. And somewhat soundproof. ... Those baby monitor that we got when the kids were born will come in handy.)

As I told my MIL, "There go my chances for getting karaoke installed in the bathroom."

The kids, after my copious amounts of yelling/talking/hissing, are pretty quiet.

Yes, my life is awesome.

And if this scenario appears in any movies, I'm totally suing for that. This is MY life. If I'm dealing with this amount of crazy, I'd better be compensated for it. I'm just sayin'. It's not like I'm going to say, "No, you can't use it." But if you do, I'm not going to say no to receiving tens of thousands of dollars when you sell your manuscript. ... And that fee is per instance of my life. Just so you know.
(Swiper, no swiping!!)

Now, I would stick my head in the oven. But we have electric, so it'd just ruin my hair.
I think I'm going to take some drugs (read: a couple of Tylenol) ... since I have a wild headache.

(Seriously, people without children, kids are the BEST birth control. ... I do mostly love my hellacious devil-spawn *gritted teeth* little angels ... but sometimes I could envision myself gleefully dancing over their prone forms. A sailor's hornpipe, per se.)

(This is why the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, made kids so funny and cute and sweet. So that, on the occasions when they fail to be ANY of the above, we don't kill them. Like hamsters do.)

(This is also why God created the intertubes. And Tylenol. And chocolate. And books. ... As rewards for not killing our children. :P ... I really do love them. I just wish that I could have children AND what small semblances I had left of my sanity. At the same time. ... but you can't have everything. Where would you PUT it?)

*headdesk*
*headdesk*

*headdesk*

Ten days later ...

I'm doing better on being in the holiday spirit. I read The Little Book of Christmas Spirit by John Hilton III (it was a free download over at DeseretBook.com). Today, I read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to the kiddos.

The blue truck (the work truck) was running oddly on Wednesday, so Michael took the van. Mom and I went into town with the kids, ate at McDonalds (with the INDOOR PlayPlace), and while I did my volunteer stint, shelving holds, Mom took the kids to ANOTHER indoor play area (and the kids had a BLAST - Even though a CERTAIN CHILD had a poo incident. ... NOT the same child that had a pee incident after the Christmas parade. They take turns, so it seems).

What else have we done? We went to Storybook Land (lots of little displays of Christmas scenes and vignettes from stories and nursery rhymes ... and SANTA!). Mom and I renewed her Costco membership (and bought lots and lots of good food!) ...

Mom and I wrote replies to the kiddos' letters to Santa. Bruise and Bucket liked that Santa wrote them back. ^_^

I colored my hair today. It was getting ... weird-looking. To me, anyways. So, instead of being the light marmalade shade that it was getting to be, I colored it to a chestnut hue. And I like it better. I do keep thinking of trying to get it a real medium-type brown. I've never really been a brunette ... We'll see.

Read some books. I just finished Souless (Gail Carriger). THAT was a fun little read. Supernatural/Regency era/steampunk/romance/mystery. (Jenny and Cynthia, I think you'll both really like it. Aubri, if you have time, you'd probably enjoy it, too. ^_^) ... There are a few steamy scenes. I wouldn't be letting my almost-four-year-olds read it. But I really enjoyed it. There are some laugh-out-loud bits in there, too.

I've been wasting spending a lot of time on Facebook. Dang addictive games. I think I'm going to have to quit some. Even though I really like them.

Haven't gotten an OS loaded onto my computer yet. If I can't get it done this weekend, I'm not going to get to it until after Christmas. And then I might borrow Jenny's husband. Since Jenny DID offer the use of Joseph's mad skillz. ^_^

My mom bought me new jeans last week. I am still TOTALLY STOKED. My old jeans ... well, half of them have HUGE, GAPING HOLES in the right knee. And I felt kinda shlubby wearing them. My new jeans look so nice. And I don't have that nasty ... issue ... where the zipper and seam ... are really tight ... and it looks tacky... and it's embarrassing and kinda gross. (camel toe. ew.)

So, yeah, that's most of what all is going on here. Reading and facebooking and wearing new jeans and sporting a new hair color.

I should paint my toes. Like, RIGHT NOW.

Oh ... most of my nails have broken. Occupational hazard when shelving carts of books. Oh well.

Also, we're almost through The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. We should be starting The Silver Chair on Sunday night.

Oh ... in other news, this week, Bucket got through all the word cards in her "Magic Word Box." I was impressed. She'll be reading this time next year. Crazy, huh?

Getting into the Groove

Things are mostly going well. (I mean, we have a house, we're pretty healthy ... my computer's still not up and running ... But still.)

Friday was a little busy. We got up, went out to get a Christmas tree (and I made sure to put up a note for the UPS guy to leave the package (my new hard drive)) and a wreath. We stopped back by the house in order to drop off the tree (since we couldn't close the van all the way with it sticking out like it was. ^_^) and I ran around to the front of the house to hang up the wreath ... and intercepted the UPS man with my package. He seemed pleasantly surprised that I wished him a "Merry Christmas."

Then we took the kids over to the dollar store so they could pick out a gift for each of their cousins ... to help them remember that Christmas is about GIVING, not getting. (Also Michael had the kids send me an email telling me what they wanted to get for me. Bucket would like to give me a princess. Bruise wants to get me a light saber. ^_^). Bruise had a little trouble figuring out that he was getting something for his cousin that SHE would like. And Michael didn't want ME to choose what she should receive. So we made a compromise: I would give Bruise an option, "Would ___ like THIS or THAT?" And he'd choose. And we did this a few times. And I think that, yes, she WILL like what Bruise picked out.

Then we went home and put up the tree. And had the kids attempt to take a nap. Some of our attempts are more successful than others, get my drift? :P

That evening, we took the kids to the Creche and then to the lights set up at the local Pepsi plant. Bruise was rather a pill (putting it mildly) at the Creche, but after grocery shopping, he cheered up.

When we got home, the kids refused to get ready for bed until we had decorated the tree. So we did that with "help" from the kidlets. (And some "help" later from Diana-cat ... who thinks that the God's eye I made about eight years ago is put on the tree especially for her to knock down and chew on. *glowers*)

Saturday, we tried to load XP on my hard drive (and FAILED. Repeatedly. Oh well. I'm sure that I have some wonderful techie friend who'll come save this damsel in distress. Sometime. ^_^) and picked up the house and eventually bundled up the kids to go downtown to the holiday parade (and the lighting of the community Christmas tree).

It was cold ... but not absolutely freezing. And, as we were about to get back in the car (skipping the free holiday concert, since the kids were tired and cranky), a certain little child had an accident and peed through his/her clothes. At least this said child wasn't IN his/her carseat when it occurred.

Sunday was ... pretty normal. Our Bishop has strongly counseled us to start (if we haven't already BEEN ... *shifty eyes*) praying EVERY DAY for those who we Visit- or Home teach. (Along with the people whom we serve in our callings -- for me, that means praying over the Young Women by name every day. And, I'll admit that I've been horribly lax about it. Because, face it, I can be lazy. But I'm doing MUCH better). And, as part of our Visiting Teaching, we have been assigned sisters (who don't have/do not want Visiting Teachers) to pray for.

The two sisters that my companion and I have been assigned ... I don't know them at all. But I do hope, like I've prayed, that they'll feel the Lord's influence in their lives and know that He loves them.

I still don't totally, totally feel completely in the holiday groove ... but I'm getting better. I'm almost finished with reading Shepherds, Why This Jubilee? by Jeffery R. Holland and that has helped. I've dug out all the Christmas-y Children's books to read with Bruise and Bucket. I'll read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (Barbara Robinson) and The Forgotten Carols (Michael McLean) this week. Those always help. Even if they make me cry. But it's a good cry. And it's usually just what I need.

Leaving church yesterday, Bucket had quite the bloody nose. Like, it was on her jacket sleeve, cheeks, and FOREHEAD before I realized what had happened. She looked like a car-accident victim there for a sec. We ran the kids out of the church to the car as fast as we could, as I cupped my hand under Bucket's nose to prevent any blood spots on the carpet. THEN, after I got her wiped off a little and some Kleenex in her nose, she had to go BACK INSIDE to go potty. *sigh*

I finally watched Romancing the Stone last night. It wasn't bad. But, golly-gee, there's quite the amount of language in there!! And, for parts of it, the kids had gotten up from their nap and were watching it while cuddling with Michael and me. So I'm all, "So kids, are those NICE words or MEAN and NAUGHTY words? Do you want to use nice words or mean words?" No, I'm not mentally unwell at ALLLLLLLLLL. NOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOO. Where'd you ever get THAT idea?

Today, I HAVE to do the dishes and laundry. And clean up the tornado-aftermath that is our living room.

Also, I think that Charlaine Harris is one of my new favorite authors. I'm almost fully caught up with the Sookie Stackhouse series (the ones that are the basis for TrueBlood ) and I read Grave Sight (the first of another of her series) this weekend. I really like them. Yes, they do have sex in them ... but they're much better than Twilight (to me, at least). If Twilight's like bubble-gum, Harris' works are more like .... dark chocolate hot cocoa. Or something.

Okay. Now to go be productive (on those Facebook games ... :P)

Not feeling it ... yet (Feedback PLEASE)

Now, I'm going to confess something: We are living in a material world ... and I am a material girl.

I shouldn't be. I know that there are many, MANY things in this world that are better than what money can buy. ... But, sometimes, I just feel a little bad that I don't have a trust fund/money tree/ something.

Right now, I've done NO Christmas shopping. Because we haven't had the money to do so.

And I HATE not giving gifts. I love to give gifts. Giving gifts at Christmas makes me happy. If I were in a financial situation to do so, I'd spoil my family.

And, at this moment, since I can't do that, I feel a little down ... and not very Christmas-sy at all.

Which is really stupid. I mean, did Jesus come to earth to give everyone a gift card? I think not. He didn't come to give material legacies. And, therefore, I shouldn't feel like a loser because i don't know what to get for my grandfolks, parents, and nieces and nephew ... let alone for Michael (Though, really ... for him? I have a very easy, inexpensive option. Hurr hurr. <-- Michael, you didn't read that. And if you did, just act surprised if that's all I get you.)

I'm having a little trouble finding a quick, easy solution to this dilemma of feeling a bit Scrooge-like and off this Christmas season. (Every other year, I've HOPPED to on the day after Thanksgiving to crank up the Christmas tunes, since Michael is STAUNCHLY against Christmas music before Thanksgiving's over. Every other year, you can find me gearing up for decorating and getting a tree put up and gifts bought [and wrapped sometime before Christmas morning] ... But this year? I know that it's only three days into December ... but I'm ... just not feeling it so much. And it kills me. I know that, yeah, most of my music is on that other hard drive ... but i might have a good chunk backed up on the external. So, perhaps tomorrow, after I install the new hard drive and get it running, I'll be able to crank up the Christmas tunes. And, if I can't get them playing THAT way, I do have Pandora or last.FM, which would work. ...)

So ... I am asking, what are you doing/what do you do to feel the Christmas spirit?

What are some favorite Christmas songs? (I, personally, prefer the less secular ones. I know, I'm a snob. I put up with Rudolph, Frost, and the Chipmunks for the kids' sake. Snoopy, at least, has that whole "Peace on Earth" message. But, if I'm listening to Christmas music, I want to hear about Baby Jesus ... or, at least, about that warm feeling inside. And if you try and tell me to listen to "Christmas Shoes, " I will give you the TEACHER LOOK that I've perfected by student-teaching and being a mother.

THIS is that look, as done by Tommy Lee Jones:

I don't want to give that look. Please don't make me give that look.

(FYI: Other "Christmas" songs that will incur that look are "Last Christmas" by Wham! and ... oh, I don't remember, since I've spend the last 330-or-so days trying to rid it from my brain. And, for the present moment, it's seemed to have worked. Thanks be. Let's not mention those songs. Let's do pretend that they've never existed.)

But, please, please, PLEASE -- Give me some good ideas of things that I can do to get out of this funk (this funk that I can only hope to attribute to that evil ***** Mother Nature. [Dear Mother Nature, I hate you. Stop making me a crazy, heinous witch every month. Stop making me be all bloated and overly-sensitive. Also, if it's going to be this FRAKKIN' COLD, let it snow. just enough to make a snowman. Thank you. Sincerely, me.])

Here are the things that I HAVE done:

• drank chocolate-mint Rooibos tea (YUM. Dianne, you have awesome friends. Since they are how I ever learned that such a wonderful creation exists.)
• Set up the Nativity scenes that I have -- my Playmobil one, my Calico Kittens one, and the kids Little People one.
• let the kids watch "Frosty the Snowman" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
• Put up TWO Advent calendars (so what it we used one last year ... it's about the NATIVITY. So it should totally be used again!)
• I sat and sang some songs with the kids. But they weren't very amenable to that. Impatient little hellions. (Good thing I mostly love them, right?)
• I've talked to the kids about WHY we celebrate Christmas.
• I'm gearing up for St. Nicholas' Day ... Dec 6. Put out your shoes!
• We're going to go to the Community Nativity Festival this weekend. (If you're in the area, you should totally go. Seriously.)
• In our town, there'll be a parade, lighting of the community Christmas tree, and a concert on Saturday.

I mean, I have some good things to do to help me get into gear. I even plan on making some cookies for our neighbors. Even the ones that we haven't really met. Who is going to be sad to receive cookies? It should be a good thing, right? I hope.

But, really, if you have some secret formula for feeling all warm, fuzzy, and full of Christmasosity, pass that knowledge on my way. I'd appreciate it.