Sunday, February 19, 2012

Crazy Dream Chronicles ... Part "Waiting to Expel My Parasite"

Yesterday, as I took a nap, I dreamed.

I dreamt that I was sitting at my computer, in my underoos. Then I checked in my bottoms and there was my baby. She was bald and tiny and red ... Undeveloped enough not to really have eyeballs or whatever. But there were arms, legs, a body, and a head. All attached in the usual way. Connected to me via cord.
So I lifted her out of my underwears and nursed her. No biggie.
Obvs, surfing the web is the ultimate in painkillers/distraction.

(If only it COULD be that easy.)

In real life, yesterday BabyGirl's been doing her impression of a Dervish. She goes spinning around in my uterus. Mostly settling transverse ... right along the tightest seam of my most comfortable maternity pants. So, not the most comfortable ... but, well, tranverse MIGHT be better than breech. Less to turn, right?

The other dream that I remember having last night ... there were multiple parts.
My mom was up. My friend T had called her to chat. Mom had to run to some meeting. Michael had put tons of stuff in our yard (which, in my dream, was actually fenced in enough to use as storage ... Still uncovered. So I was ticked that MY bicycle's seat ended up in the back yard and NOT under the carport. ... He so wouldn't pull anything like that in real life.) -- Bicycles, frames for DIY race cars ... it was insane.

We also, for some reason, had this HUGE shelf of fish stuff. There were two tanks that were WAY TOO FULL. In one of them, the fish started going all "Wild Kingdom" and eating each other. Weird.
There were two SMALL open tanks. With TINY, TINY (about the size of one's hand) dolphins. The other tank, had a puffer fish in it. But it was too full for him to ever puff up.

And there was a kitten on one of my childhood blankets (I do still have this one -- The BLANKET, not the kitten. I'll have a human kitten soon enough). But she had fleas. And I couldn't get the fleas all dead. That was frustrating.

And the couch was all covered with folded laundry that I needed to put away ... And, yeah.
There was another part where I was surfing?/skateboarding? along the I-5 corridor just south of Roseburg (I'm SO familiar with that stretch, since it's between the BIG town [Roseburg] and my hometown ... so it is something that I know. Like the back of my hand. When I DON'T have an IV in there, that is).

In other news, I may have nested. After my nap, I cleaned up the bathtub. And most of our shower (forgot to scrub the mildew off the inside of the shower door. I would have started tackling the bathroom counters, except it was time to eat dinner.

I also cleaned a good portion of the kids' bathroom while Michael installed the dual-flush conversion kit.
Now that toilet WORKS like a REAL toilet. I always figured that the toilet in that bathroom was possessed, since you'd have to flush and HOLD the handle to get anything to fully go down the ... pipe?/drain?/whatever.
But it WORKS now. It was the flapper being the issue the WHOLE time these last few years.
That is not an issue anymore.
So I'm hoping that THAT bathroom is going to start smelling a WHOLE HECKUVA LOT better. STAT.
(And it helps that the sink and mirrors look a whole lot nicer. I still need to at least spray out the tub/shower in there. And sweeping and mopping would NOT go amiss. But ... I'll have to wait for the next bout of energy for that.)

I'm not going to church today. After this weekend, I'm pretty bushed. And, if anyone asks about BabyGirl, I don't want to take the chance that I'd burst into tears of frustration. I am NOT a pretty crier. It's all redness, blotches, and copious amounts of mucus. And I only have a couple pocket-packs of tissues in my bag.
That and ... well, what if my water breaks at church? Even if I'm wearing a pad, one of my nurses told me that, with the amount of fluid in there, I should POP ... and, well, I really don't want to make a mess. Since, well, everywhere that I'd be (besides the bathrooms, really. Since I don't have any reason to be in the serving area) is carpeted. And that'd be messy. And probably gross.
Especially since I'd be sitting on either a pew or a padded chair or a couch. And it's not like THOSE are easy to clean, either.

Also, my feet are so swollen. I only fit into a couple pairs of shoes. And, with a skirt ... it's not like I can hide my feet. Not even from myself. ... And I'm sick of looking at them. And I can FEEL the tops of my feet (where they're most swollen) JIGGLE as I walk. Ew.

So, BabyGirl, as of my waking up this morning (well ONE of the times I've woken up. I think it was around 4 AM ... didn't get up until 7), was vertical ... but I can't tell which end is head and which is her butt.
(Maybe since she's been such a little butthead this pregnancy. ... Unkind, I know. But it had to be said.)

I also noticed more discharge this morning ... but I don't know what color amniotic fluid is. Could just be that I'm dripping more than usual with this butt of a child pressing on my bladder. I have no idea.
Why can't they just send a sonogram machine home with me?
Or, there is a app (at least in development) that I read about for the iPhone that would allow doctors to use their phones to do ultrasounds ... but, including the transducer, it's only like ... well ... $8,000.
So, yeah, since I have a Droid and not an iPhone AND I don't have an extra $8,000 or so lying around ... it's not going to happen.

So ... yeah. I'm just going to take it easy, figure out if I'm going to make it through the church block (time frame) without going into labor. I have a contraction counter on my phone. Just in case. I think I'll nap. Or fold laundry. Or clean the bathroom counters. We'll see.

But, for the most part ... I feel ... quiet. Not nervous. Not frustrated. Just ... quiet.
That's not to say that I feel at all PATIENT.
This is ME we're talking about.
But ... I feel quiet.
Maybe it's the calm before the storm. Who knows. Maybe it's my body getting ready to psych me out again.

Oh dang. I feel tickles down in my pelvis. I think she's breech again.
Dammit.
Stupid punk butt child.
Obviously, I should go stand on my head or something. Maybe play Adele or something at my crotch.
Grab bags of frozen vegetables and pile them on the top of my swollen abdomen. Grrr. Oh well.

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