What would you suggest?

There I was, my dears, surfing my usual array of blogs ... and the phone rings.

So I answer it.

Now, usually I have a decent ear for voices ... I'll KNOW that I know who you are ... and I'll chat with you until I can make sure that I really can put your name with your voice.

And I'm a chatty-type of person.

So, I pick up the phone ... no one speaks, but I can hear stuff going on, so I stay on the line and say, "Helloooooooo? Hello??" and start singing the Jeopardy theme ... and I'm about to give it up, when a guy's voice says, "Allanna?"

"Hi! Yes, this is she."
"Hi"
"Um ..." I say, "What's up?"

And this guy is a soft talker ... so I can't quite figure out who he is. Almost sounds like my Ty-bro ... but not quite, because Ty would be making me nearly pee my pants with his jokes and conversation.

Also, Bruise comes over and is trying to get me to give him certain papers and things from my desk, which is NOT GONNA HAPPEN, so I ask soft-talker-dude-on-the-phone to speak up. MORE THAN ONCE.

"Your voice is sexy," he tells me. 

WHAaaa?? Seriously, what the H?!? WHERE in Hades or otherwhere does it seem like an appropriate or smart or whatever thing to do to tell some person (who's happily MARRIED and SURROUNDED BY HER CHILDREN) this??

Point: It's NOT.

FACT: I have a semi-healthy amount of self-esteem. However, there are not many people (especially guys) that I would feel comfortable with telling me that I am/sound/look/smell/whatever "sexy." ... I think that Michael's 90% of that list. I have some guy friends who are wonderfully platonic and decent that would not be ... WEIRD/PERVY/WHATEVER by telling me this. ... I can only think of ... well, maybe two. Three -- two that are practically my brothers (through our own adoption of each other) and one who is gay.

Yeah, completely weird-making. 

So I told this soft-talker that I thought he had the wrong phone number, GOODBYE. *click!*

I'm thinking that it was this magazine sales-guy who had called back (this was MONTHS ago) the next day, just to chat ... and it promptly got strange. And I told him that it wasn't appropriate and I thought it was a good idea if he didn't call back. Like, EVER. (Which, for me, is rather mean.)

It did sound like him. And he did seem to have this problem with me feeling weirded out. 
(The conversation went like this:
Me:Um, I really don't think that my husband would be comfortable with us having this conversation. [Meaning: Dude, you're weirding me out. I don't like it. And Michael wouldn't like it ... especially because it's weirding me out.]
Him: Do you have to tell him?
Me: [Thinking: Oh HELLS, YES, since you said THAT.] Yes, I tell him just about everything. I see no reason to hide anything from him. He's my husband.
[And, yes, I DO tell Michael just about everything. He's my bestest besty-friend])

So, yeah. I don't have Caller ID on the line that this soft-talker guy called on. I think he may have called again after I went to the shower. 

... Yes, I did what any normal woman would to after being phone-accosted:

I scrubbed out the shower stall and got dressed for my mother to come over.
Completely normal.

I also texted my husband and told him that I missed him. Because, dude, if he were here, he'd have told that soft-talker-stalker-dude what for.

Gosh, I wish Michael were here.

SO, my dears, what should I do? I'm hoping that soft-talker-dude NEVER calls again.
If he does, I'm going to tell him that this is entirely inappropriate and to never call here again.
I might try to get his name and information so that I can get the police involved if I have to ... but I worry that asking for that would only encourage him.
Maybe I could tell him that I died. And that this is her twin sister. The bounty hunter. Who's a double black belt in Judo and specializes in armed combat. Who served time for disembowling a dude, years ago, who called her sister a lightskirt. And who wouldn't have any issues taking out a hit on the guy who called her previously and propositioned her for phone sex. (Okay, it wasn't phone sex ... but it didn't feel like he was just making an innocent observation.)

INNOCENT OBSERVATIONS that wouldn't make me feel all yucky --

"Your voice sounds:"

• melifluous
• lilting
• husky
• raspy
• angellic
• fluting
• mild
• well-modulated

ANYTHING like that would be acceptable.

Anything sounding like flirting? Not quite so welcome.

Ew.

*shudders* 

I don't know WHY I get so freaked out by this. 
I'm just hoping that being firm about my version of "these are not the droids you're looking for," might have given him a little wake-up call that this is not any kind of attention that I'd welcome.

I think I'm going to curl up in a ball and pet my hair, okay?

Or, since my mom'll be here anytime, maybe I should do a load of laundry and finish up the dishes.

Or I could finish reading "Dearly Devoted Dexter" and imagine that Dexter would take this guy out if I needed him to. Yup, I do really like that sociopath. Something about how he TRIES to act like a normal person and how he LIKES and PROTECTS children ... and he tries to take care of his foster-sister and his girlfriend ... I just like it.

I don't watch the show, since we don't get that channel ... and we watched the premiere online (well-done, really ... but I don't care to hear that much cussing. Or else I'd probably watch Deadwood or something. Firefly is really about my speed, as far as language goes. ... However, for some reason, I can READ it and it doesn't seem to have such the impact. Why is this? ... Probably because I can edit it a little as I go. Whereas, when other people are SAYING it, it's a little jarring. Why is that?), but I do like the books better. Judging by the premiere, the television series stays pretty faithful to the books. Hard to judge from just one episode. You'll have to ask someone else, really.), but the books are good. I'm reading the second one right now. The first was EXCELLENT.

Talked to my mom. She says that I handled the soft-talker-dude well. *whew*

Hopefully this is the last time. I really hope so.

Any advice?