Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What would you suggest?

There I was, my dears, surfing my usual array of blogs ... and the phone rings.

So I answer it.

Now, usually I have a decent ear for voices ... I'll KNOW that I know who you are ... and I'll chat with you until I can make sure that I really can put your name with your voice.

And I'm a chatty-type of person.

So, I pick up the phone ... no one speaks, but I can hear stuff going on, so I stay on the line and say, "Helloooooooo? Hello??" and start singing the Jeopardy theme ... and I'm about to give it up, when a guy's voice says, "Allanna?"

"Hi! Yes, this is she."
"Um ..." I say, "What's up?"

And this guy is a soft talker ... so I can't quite figure out who he is. Almost sounds like my Ty-bro ... but not quite, because Ty would be making me nearly pee my pants with his jokes and conversation.

Also, Bruise comes over and is trying to get me to give him certain papers and things from my desk, which is NOT GONNA HAPPEN, so I ask soft-talker-dude-on-the-phone to speak up. MORE THAN ONCE.

"Your voice is sexy," he tells me. 

WHAaaa?? Seriously, what the H?!? WHERE in Hades or otherwhere does it seem like an appropriate or smart or whatever thing to do to tell some person (who's happily MARRIED and SURROUNDED BY HER CHILDREN) this??

Point: It's NOT.

FACT: I have a semi-healthy amount of self-esteem. However, there are not many people (especially guys) that I would feel comfortable with telling me that I am/sound/look/smell/whatever "sexy." ... I think that Michael's 90% of that list. I have some guy friends who are wonderfully platonic and decent that would not be ... WEIRD/PERVY/WHATEVER by telling me this. ... I can only think of ... well, maybe two. Three -- two that are practically my brothers (through our own adoption of each other) and one who is gay.

Yeah, completely weird-making. 

So I told this soft-talker that I thought he had the wrong phone number, GOODBYE. *click!*

I'm thinking that it was this magazine sales-guy who had called back (this was MONTHS ago) the next day, just to chat ... and it promptly got strange. And I told him that it wasn't appropriate and I thought it was a good idea if he didn't call back. Like, EVER. (Which, for me, is rather mean.)
It did sound like him. And he did seem to have this problem with me feeling weirded out. 
(The conversation went like this:
Me:Um, I really don't think that my husband would be comfortable with us having this conversation. [Meaning: Dude, you're weirding me out. I don't like it. And Michael wouldn't like it ... especially because it's weirding me out.]
Him: Do you have to tell him?
Me: [Thinking: Oh HELLS, YES, since you said THAT.] Yes, I tell him just about everything. I see no reason to hide anything from him. He's my husband.
[And, yes, I DO tell Michael just about everything. He's my bestest besty-friend])

So, yeah. I don't have Caller ID on the line that this soft-talker guy called on. I think he may have called again after I went to the shower. 

... Yes, I did what any normal woman would to after being phone-accosted:
I scrubbed out the shower stall and got dressed for my mother to come over.
Completely normal.

I also texted my husband and told him that I missed him. Because, dude, if he were here, he'd have told that soft-talker-stalker-dude what for.
Gosh, I wish Michael were here.

SO, my dears, what should I do? I'm hoping that soft-talker-dude NEVER calls again.
If he does, I'm going to tell him that this is entirely inappropriate and to never call here again.
I might try to get his name and information so that I can get the police involved if I have to ... but I worry that asking for that would only encourage him.
Maybe I could tell him that I died. And that this is her twin sister. The bounty hunter. Who's a double black belt in Judo and specializes in armed combat. Who served time for disembowling a dude, years ago, who called her sister a lightskirt. And who wouldn't have any issues taking out a hit on the guy who called her previously and propositioned her for phone sex. (Okay, it wasn't phone sex ... but it didn't feel like he was just making an innocent observation.)

INNOCENT OBSERVATIONS that wouldn't make me feel all yucky --
"Your voice sounds:"
  • melifluous
  • lilting
  • husky
  • raspy
  • angellic
  • fluting
  • mild
  • well-modulated
ANYTHING like that would be acceptable.

Anything sounding like flirting? Not quite so welcome.


I don't know WHY I get so freaked out by this. 
I'm just hoping that being firm about my version of "these are not the droids you're looking for," might have given him a little wake-up call that this is not any kind of attention that I'd welcome.

I think I'm going to curl up in a ball and pet my hair, okay?
Or, since my mom'll be here anytime, maybe I should do a load of laundry and finish up the dishes.

Or I could finish reading "Dearly Devoted Dexter" and imagine that Dexter would take this guy out if I needed him to. Yup, I do really like that sociopath. Something about how he TRIES to act like a normal person and how he LIKES and PROTECTS children ... and he tries to take care of his foster-sister and his girlfriend ... I just like it.

I don't watch the show, since we don't get that channel ... and we watched the premiere online (well-done, really ... but I don't care to hear that much cussing. Or else I'd probably watch Deadwood or something. Firefly is really about my speed, as far as language goes. ... However, for some reason, I can READ it and it doesn't seem to have such the impact. Why is this? ... Probably because I can edit it a little as I go. Whereas, when other people are SAYING it, it's a little jarring. Why is that?), but I do like the books better. Judging by the premiere, the television series stays pretty faithful to the books. Hard to judge from just one episode. You'll have to ask someone else, really.), but the books are good. I'm reading the second one right now. The first was EXCELLENT.

Talked to my mom. She says that I handled the soft-talker-dude well. *whew*
Hopefully this is the last time. I really hope so.

Any advice?


april b said...

Oy! Scary! I highly recommend caller ID, and then blocking the number the next time he calls (if there is a next time, you did a good job telling him to go away). All of this for a couple of bucks to your phone company. If this was on your home line (not the cell), you don't even have to have caller ID, just call the operator and have the last number blocked. Until then, maybe start screening your calls?

Kate the Great said...

Oh ho ho ho.... Next time he calls just give him my number. I will mess with his head so many ways that when I'm done with him, he'll go crying to his grandma. I don't like people who play phone games.

I have another name for them, but for the sake of delicate readers I won't post it here.

You did a good job though. Way to not take his ick!

xcedra said...

if he calls again you can *69 him as long as he was the last call in, I don't think you then have to call the number. What you do with the number is up to you, but I might call dispatch and say that I was getting harrassing phone calls from the number and your worried about a stalker and you have young kids. Maybe they would call him and scare him enough to make him back off???

Keep in mind I am paranoid about this sort of thing, that why I don't answer calls from numbers I don't know, well that and to dave minutes.

Fold My Laundry Please said...

Call your phone company. There's another *number, I think it's *75 but I'm not positive, that sends a message to the phone company that it is a prank/offensive call. If they receive 3 or more alerts on the number, the police get involved.

Anonymous said...

Oh babe... police, phone company, and Heavenly Father... those are the people you need to talk to.

I would start with the phone company. Give them a call, and maybe, if you can remember the time it happened, they can narrow it down for you. Maybe even figure out who it was?

That's yuck, and it gave me a bad feeling in my tummy.


nicole said...

i had this stalker type guy that would call me a bunch, and i got the police to trace it, then changed and blocked my number. i realize changing your number might be a little extreme at this point, but the dude that was calling me would call a bunch of times a day, so i had no other choice. i'd say, if he calls back again tell him very firmly not to call again or you'll be notifying the proper authorities and hang up. then if he does push it again, immediately hang up the phone and call the police. if you have a phone book, there are the *numbers usually in the front. it'll tell you the *number and what it's for. when i did it, it was *73 or something like that that would connect you to the local pd and they could trace the call. i remember because there's a recording as soon as you call that says that the call is being used for legal purposes, and are you sure that you want to report the number. stay on the line if you are sure you want to take legal action, or something like that. and then you tell the dispatcher that you have received several harrassing calls from this person, and you have asked them to stop and they didn't. they'll trace the last number to call you and investigate.

good luck girl! i hope he leaves you alone for real. stalkers are scary!

Counting ...

HTML hit counter - Quick-counter.net
EU Users: This might use cookies. If it does, let me know and I can work on getting one that doesn't.