Tuesday, May 20, 2008

"Dooooo Yoooooooooou Speeeeeeeeeeeeek Whaaaaaaaaale?"

Three guesses what we're watching right now ... and I'm only giving credit if you guess right on the first try.

Okay, okay. It's PARTIAL credit if you get it right the second time.

SO, where were we? Yesterday I changed a fouler-than-foul diaper. The usual stuff was going on. Kids wanted crackers, so I put some on the table for them. (Note to self: Wash off table today. You know it's gotta be bad when a two-year-old tells you that it's "too dirty." Feel shame, Llanna. LOTS of shame.)

ANNNNNND, as my dear little girl is running to the table she either smacks into something or trips (Note to self: Why does this always happen when you're not looking RIGHT. AT. HER?? Discuss.) ... I come (read: RUN) to see why she's screaming.

Well, her mouth is full of blood. (Which, as an aside, I accidentally typed "boof." Whatever "boof" is, I wish it had been in her mouth instead.)

I say a word (mostly under my breath) that I should not have said.
(Hey, what's the motto around here? Well, at the moment it appears to be "keepin' it real." I mean we've just discussed my tendency to revert to a bit of a potty-mouth when I'm under stress ... and the fact that I should call in a Hazmat team to tidy up my dining room table.)
(The other motto around here is probably my favorite quote from "Nacho Libre": "They don't think I know a buttload of crap about the gospel, but I do." ... Not that it has much of ANYTHING to do with ... well ... anything.)

I rush her over to the bathroom, sit her on the toilet seat, give her a cold, wet washcloth and assess the damage.

She's got a nice big split on the INSIDE of her lip. Near where her little back teeth are. Well, hey ... this is an improvement from last time when there was a big split THROUGH her lip, near the corner.

I give her some ibuprofen (since (1) it looks painful, (2) she's CRYING, for heaven's sake!; and (3) I'm not about to withhold the drugs. ... Especially because she's my PWESHUS BAYBEE ... and also, hey, children's ibuprofen is in a yummy liquid form ... and since it's going straight IN. HER. MOUTH., it might start numbing the pain SUPERFAST.) ... (And it appears that I'm totally right. Since she stopped crying right after she got her drugs and I picked her up and cuddled her for a sec.

Then I call Michael and cry to him ... and notice that there's a little blood on the OUTSIDE of her mouth ... where the split's gone through. BUT it's just a wee, little spot.

I wipe the blood away, put some antibiotic ointment on it, with a band-aid ... which starts her off crying again (but later? She doesn't want me to take the band-aid off. What's up with this? Discuss).

I do call the doctor's office, just in case. I stress that this time it's not near as bad as last time. I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing.

About an hour later (I guess. I wasn't paying attention to the clock. So sue me!), I get a call back. Yup, I don't have to bring her in (SCORE!!!!) ... and yes, the antibiotic ointment on the outside of the mouth is good. Just try to keep the mouth clean-ish (Which I was planning. I've been pushing the water.) ...

SO, in short, my mommy-instincts are correct. It's only taken a couple years, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.

As it's all starting to change. Like my kiddos? They're getting ready for potty-training. We're working at it ... but ... I mean, I won't miss changing smelly diapers ... but now I'll be at the mercy of these tiny little bladders.

But, yeah ... there was my big excitement for the day. That and the fact that my lady-parts ... not being so kind. So we went to Target to get some medicine to help my lady-parts feel not like they're in Hades. BUT, that's probably too much information.

BACK to pertinent info, Bucket and Bruise got their own buckets. And my Bucket told me she was going to build a castle with hers. She also really, really wanted the Hello Kitty sunglasses that I think are TOTALLY adorable. (If you see them, you'll recognize them.) But how does it happen that my tastes and hers are so close?? It's not like I've shown them to her and said, "THESE, my dear, are the cutest sunglasses EVER. You WILL like them." ... I don't really know how she started liking Hello Kitty that much in the first place. I mean, yeah, I have a few things. A fleece blanket from my in-laws, a Nana (HK dressed in rocker-chic fashion) keychain, a "How to Draw Hello Kitty and Her Friends" book ... And Bucket has a quillow from Mom C with HK dressed as a bunny. ... But she has lots of character-stuff that she's not all that into.

I mean, I like the Disney Princesses ... but Bucket doesn't show ALL that much interest in them. She likes her Princess light-up tennis shoes ... But ... maybe it's because she doesn't have a TON of Princess stuff. Who knows?

Am I at all sad that she loves Hello Kitty?
Especially when she sees HK and then, excitedly, turns to me and says, "Hello Kitty LOVE ME!"

I'm glad that she knows that she's loved. Even by Hello Kitty.

And, yesterday, while Bruise and Bucket were trying to use the potty chairs, we were talking. I was telling her (because her "owie" hurt) that no matter how bad we're feeling, that Jesus knows EXACTLY how we feel, because He's experienced all of our pain, sorrows, and afflictions. And that He suffered all these things because He loves us.

And Bucket lights up and says, "Jesus loves ME!!! ... I love Jesus!!"

Phew. I must be doing SOMETHING right.

The one person we don't love? Barney. That purple dinosaur is persona non grata in this crazy house.

Yet another thing I feel I've done right. ^_^

Bruise is starting to listen more. When I count (when he's doing something that he should. not. be. doing), he'll snap to attention when I get to "two." He knows that if I get past two, he's got something coming to him (and I'm not talking about Belgium truffles sent overnight, if you know what I mean. And I think you do).
(Like a stern look and a heaping plateful of disappointment. SO not that same thing as delicious, heavenly chocolate.)

So far, though, today has been good. My lady bits are not itching like hellfire(TMI, sorry. I'll try to warn you next time), the kiddos haven't drank poison or pulled bookshelves down upon themselves (not that they've ever done those things. Pulled a changing table down on themselves? Yes.) ... Life is going well.

I need to turn in Michael's and my ballots. And pick up a hold at the local library (not my FAVORITE one ... the one I have to drive to the next town over to go to).

And, yesterday was my sister-in-law (T2)'s birthday. Michael and I called her and ... well, we hadn't talked about what we were going to do. So he looked at me and I looked at him and he goes "Happy ..."
And I join in with the most terrible, off-key, horrendous version of "Happy Birthday," as he joins in .... I didn't know that he WASN'T planning to sing ... he didn't know what I was doing at first.

I think it's best summed up in my quip right before he ended the call:
"Well, THAT's not going to be on American Idol."
(TRUST ME. It was bad. But I think T2 will like it. ... Especially since her proposed ring tone for her mom's cell phone was the most purposefully off-key version of "Angels We Have Heard on High.")

(As opposed to the ring tone I did for Mom C: "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! It's Allanna!! Please pick up the phone!!!!!" <-- a="" about="" all="" amount="" an="" and="" as="" ause="" be="" br="" breath="" extreme="" face="" have="" i="" in="" it.="" it="" made="" my="" nice="" not="" of="" on="" one="" pleasant="" please="" recorded="" rude.="" s="" said="" say="" smile="" sure="" to="" urgency.="" with="">(Or, then, there's the ring tone that Michael recorded for him mom: "Mom, it's me. Your number one son. Answer your phone." It's all very nicely done. And he is the number one son. He's the oldest. Which is yet another reason we get along so well. ^_^)(I'm not lying. It really is a factor.)

Okay, I'm shutting up.

Expect one of those posts sometime this week where I pull out a whole crapload of other cute/funny/interesting/whatever links and videos. Because I was going through my bookmarks and I do have a ton of stuff to share.
And I want my bookmarks to be more manageable again.

Hey, I'm just keeping it real, okay? ^_^ You know I love you all.

And, Annette? I'm so flattered that you think I'm hilarious.
I knew I loved stalking you!! ^_^

And Melissa? You do SO love me. I'm not worthy!
And I adore you right back. Because you send me links like this:
Joss Whedon's Musical Supervillan Ready to Hit the Web!

I mean, how can anyone NOT love this???
(Cynthia, are you as excited about this as Melissa and I are?? Had you already heard about this?)


Fold My Laundry Please said...

Oooh! Oooh! Nemo! Finding Nemo! That movie came out around the time Ethan was learning his animal sounds. I would ask him what sound a cow makes. "Moooooo!" A dog? "Woof! Woof!" A cat? "Meow!" A whale? "Hewwoooo! IIII'mmmmm a whaaaaaaale!" It was adorable!

Cynthia said...

I didn't know about the sing-a-long! I'm very, very, very excited about it (I'm squeeling on the inside right now!!! I'm at work and since they already think I'm nuts, I prefer not to give them more ammo;). Anyway, Can't wait to see this!

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