Saturday, January 30, 2010

Just to get it all off my chest

First confession: I've been really pissy lately. There's no way of sugar coating it.

And here are a few of the things behind it (at least the ones that I can put a finger on):
  • I'm getting close to my stupid period. And it makes me crazy in the head. My head is full of angry bees -- Angry, evil bees that tell me that I'm fat and lazy and that nothing is right. And that nothing will BE right. And, WHY THE HELL can I be left alone in some cave somewhere where I will eat my body weight in chocolate and Fritos ... and emerge in about a week twenty pounds (give or take) heavier and full of self-loathing.
  • I'm seriously, totally bummed about Oregon's voters passing Measures 66 and 67. Okay, truly? I couldn't care less about 66. We don't make anywhere NEAR $250,000 in our family. And, really, I don't know if anyone I know does. Besides Bill Gates. But that's probably why he lives in Washington ...
    But Measure 67, which totally boots the taxes on businesses? It scares me. There are going to be family farmers put out of business. Michael's company might be put out of business. We're STILL in the middle of this stupid recession and NOW the few companies that ARE looking at doing business here in Oregon are pulling out because of these CRAZY-HIGH taxes. ... Taxes that I highly doubt will ever make it to the schools and public services that they're SUPPOSED to fund. ... Yes, I'm jaded and depressed. I REALLY BELIEVE that instead of creating these new (and RETROACTIVE?!?) taxes, our state government should just take a pay cut (or A FEW) to counteract ALL the times that they've recently voted to give THEMSELVES RAISES.
    I'm just sayin'. Especially since these raises are coming as they demand that teachers take pay cuts. "For the children." ... Yeah, right. I'm ready to start a movement that makes our state government a VOLUNTEER position. ... Okay, I'm not, really. But I think they are overpaid and underworked. If they can't create and stick to a viable budget, KICK THEM OUT. And fine them for all that they've gone over. That's how we mere peons are treated, right?
    *headdesk. headdesk. headdesk.*
  • I'm still bummed that Gingi's dead. And that my children KEEP. BRINGING. IT UP. If they didn't bring it up about once a day, maybe I could get over it faster. I don't know.
  • My children are whining.
  • My house is never fully clean. Part of the reason is that I'm a sentimental idiot and HATE to get rid of things. Part of it is that I don't have lots of money, so I don't want to get rid of something that MIGHT be useful. Because, per Murphy's Law, when I finally get rid of something that I haven't used in forever, THAT's going to be when I really need it. And then I'd have to buy a new one. And I can't afford that. Whatever it is.
  • I hate money. Or, more honestly, not having money. I would LOVE to be all caught up on bills, have money for a trip somewhere, able to buy some fun things ... But it's not in the cards right now. I know that this experience is to HELP us and to TEACH us something. But it's really, REALLY wearing thin. I want this stupid recession to END. I want my husband to be able to be paid what he deserves ... which isn't happening because things are tight for EVERYONE. I'm not trying to be selfish about all this. I want the recession done and over with for EVERYONE. ... That all said, I'm grateful for the blessings that we receive from paying out tithing. There's no way at ALL that we should be able to afford to be even where we are without it. So, yeah. that is that. Money situation = EPIC SUCK. Tithing = MADE OF AWESOME.
  • I hate being all pissy. It isn't fun. I want to be a fun person. Like how I was before I worried about money and acting like a boring type of grown-up. I don't always feel that I'm as interesting as I used to be.
Okay, now that I've got all that off my chest, just pet my hair and tell me that I'm still a pretty little tulip and that you do still love me ... even thought I'm a whining whiner and have my head full of angry bees.

I'm off for some Tylenol or something.

3 comments:

Our Army Life said...

*petting hair* "you're a Pretty Tulip", and everything will work out eventually! HUGS! :)

Cynthia said...

*petting hair too*

I love you and hang on. Everything will work out, just await and see ^_^

leilani said...

*petting hair*

"You're a pretty tulip and we still love you."

I know how you feel and we'll get through it. You're just vocalizing for all of us. :)

*HUGS!*

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