Oh. Em. GOSH.

It's taken three years, one month, and thirty-two days ... but I might have just figured out the secret to nap time.

Leave the damn door open.

My house is really rather in shambles. The new library is open, I'm trying to finish reading books helter-skelter, and I'm semi-addicted to Vampire Wars on Facebook (my clan is nine mebers big [read: kinda small] but I'm up to level 23. I tried Fashion Wars, but it was kinda dumb. And I didn't care for Dragon Wars much. But Vampires?? I like it.

Still ...  So, I'm getting the kids ready for storytime this morning. Rox calls. Yes, we'll get together while we're up north to go to the zoo. We get it so that I have directions. I have maps (so there will not be a repeat of LAST Friday where Michael and I were driving around Salem ... me driving, him navigating, me FREAKING THE CHICKEN OUT BECAUSE I DRIVE CRAP IN BIG CITIES). ... and I notice that it's just about time for storytime to start ... and we're still in the house.

So I hustle the munchkin brigade out the door, in the van, drive down the street (well, practically) to the NEW! AMAZING! LIBRARY! and we have fun at storytime ... except for the part where Bucket trips coming in and scrapes her knee.

Bruise gets to play with the train table (which was remarkably NOT crowded today. Crazy.) while Bucket and I sit and read Chickerella about three times. (Obviously, I know how to pick a book.) Then I load everybody back into the van (After we ride the elevator over and over again. And Bruise about pokes some poor old man in the testes as he [Bruise] isn't looking where he's going [the poor elderly chap was ENTIRELY TOO AWARE of this happenstance. Oh, but I couldn't help but laugh. Can you really blame me??] as he's trying to run up the stairs.

(Note to self: Next house = Must have stairs and elevator. Or at least a dumbwaiter. Keep dreaming.)) and we go to Costco and get gas. And bananas, potatoes, tangerines/mandarins/whatever-the-H-you-want-to-call-them, gravy mix, and a package of those chocolate muffins that are about half the size of your head.

Then, as we've gotten home and are heading to the street to check the mail (or, as we call it, "checka mail" -- Oh, how my Toddler-ese vocabulary has GROWN!!), Bucket runs down the driveway and scrapes her OTHER knee! 

And oh!! The screaming!! The agony!! The minute possibility of blood!! (Okay, so there was some visible blood ... but it's not like it even shows up on a napkin or anything.) So we grab the mail, I carry in the food while Bucket screams and shrieks, and I patch up her knee.

Talk to Mom on the phone. Talk to Dad on the phone. (For two people who haven't been together in YEARS, they sure called in sequence. Why is that?) Bucket's band-aid came off while I was chatting with my dad ... SCREAMING. (Whereas, before that, the children were quite peacefully communing with the siren vocal stylings of Disney's Snow White. And had each worked on eating a muffin as large as their HEADS.) So I took care of that. This is why I really SHOULD remember to pick up a ginormous package of Band-Aids at Costco next time.

But the kids wanted a bath. So a bath they got. And then I instituted reading time ... and I read them two books (I know, how awesome am I? I actually LEFT THE COMPUTER and SPENT TIME WITH MY OFFSPRING. I should get, like, a friggin' Nobel Prize or something. *rolls eyes*). And I told them that it was nap time. And Bucket asked me to leave the door open ... and I said, "Okay, as long as you stay in bed. If you get out of bed, I have to close the door, since I need to work at cleaning up the house." And they agreed. So, the door is open. I ran a load of laundry, cleaned off my crap from the small counter (it still needs work, but it's WAY better) ... and am taking a break before I think about cleaning off my disaster area of a desk and doing another load of dishes and folding some laundry and reading another book (or two, since I have a metric crapload of literature due back at the library in the next week. *sigh*).
Bruise did play in his bed for a while ... but last I looked, he got bored and, since he was (noticeably) tired, he's asleep.

In other news, we've gotten ourselves a membership (which explains the trip to Salem) at the A.C. Gilbert House (and, via that, OMSI and a few other Science Museums. Hey, with a membership at these places, it came with a coupon sheet for a few other museums -- There's a two-for-one coupon for the Portland Children's Museum. Cool, cool. I think the kidlets would like to go there sometime.) So, Saturday, we went to OMSI with bil (brother-in-law) J and Mom and Dad C. The kids had a great time ... Bucket even conked out in the car on the way home.

Sometime, Michael and I will ditch the kids and go up ourselves to check out the DaVinci exhibit. (And, crappit, I totally forgot my camera this time!! Grr. Oh well. I still had a great time.)

Bucket looked at the fetal development exhibit with me. She's rather amazed that she was ever so small. Come to think of it, so am I.

Okay, I've got to close this up. My house isn't going to clean itself. Even though I really, really, really, RILLY wish it would. (Oh, my dears, I DO so wish it would. But it never does. And I don't think it ever will.)

So ... yeah.

And, hey, if you want me to make you something crafty-crafty ... or maybe just half-crafty, since I'm not all that crafty (Hey, just keeping it real.), you should sign up on the previous post. There are three spaces left! You know that you want to make me wrack my brain to figure out something that I feel talented enough at to DO for someone else! Or, hey, you could just NOT ... and let me be all lazy. I'm pretty easily pleased.