The FUN part of the costume ... where I act like a complete dork. As is usual.

The fangs in all their $14.99 glory.
You have to melt this plastic-wax stuff and then mold it onto your teeth.
They actually stay in pretty well.

They kinda freak Bucket out a little. Heh heh heh.

So, here's a close up.
Doesn't it look like I'm checking to see if I have anything (spinach, clotted blood, etc.) in my teeth?

Finally! I manage to smile with fangs!
And showing fangs.

They are a little sharp, you see.

RAWR!! I'm a vampire!

And now I've got the "Time Warp" song stuck in my head.
It's just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the RI-I-I-I-IGHT!
With your hand on your hip
you bring your knees in ti-i-ight!
But it's the pelvic thrusts

that really drive you INSA-A-A-A-ANE!!!
Let's do the Time Warp again!

And, yes, I'm aware that I (as a good girl) should not know that song nor its accompanying musical. And, even if I knew the song, I should deny that knowledge.

But I'm just not that good, I suppose.

If I could get hold of a DVD of the TV version of it, I'd watch it, like, ALL THE TIME.

I friggin' LOVE it.

(The reason that I have it stuck in my head is due to yet another misheard song lyric. The ACTUAL lyrics in that song go "I remember doing the time warp ...", but I've always heard it as "I'm a vampire, doing the time warp...". Yeah, must be some wishful thinking. And, YES, I did only just learn, like two seconds ago, that I was mishearing the lyrics. At least I found out MYSELF this time, instead of having it pointed out to me. *sigh*)

But, the fangs are not all of my costume. I figure that I'll do some Goth-y type makeup and black nail polish (mostly because I like black nail polish) and dress like a (extra curvy) high-schooler with lots of glitter.

On Halloween, though, I'll have about the same get-up (maybe more everyday makeup) and use some seamstress chalk to write "Don't ask me to SPARKLE" on my shirt.

Or maybe I'll just steal Bucket's Snow White headband and go as UNDEAD SNOW WHITE.
Mwhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Or something.

Some vague ennui

Y'know, whenever I use the term "ennui," my brain automatically and immediately sends me back to my senior year of high school -- namely, to a report I wrote for Biology 2. (We had to do two reports for that class. One had to be about a hereditary condition. So I researched [more] about Usher Syndrome, since I'm a carrier of that. The other report was about a communicable disease. I chose to write about the plague/Black Death/y. pestis ... One of the symptoms of the plague is a feeling of ennui.)

(You'll be glad to know that I probably do not have yersinia pestis since I haven't been petting squirrels in petrified forests or anything risky like that. In fact, we seem to have successfully eradicated that stupid infestation of fleas that we were suffering from a few months ago.)

However, I've just been ... yeah.

I don't know whether to chalk it up to the change in the weather or that the days are shorter or it could be related to my (joy of joys) lady cycle *glower*... But I haven't felt very ... chipper or anything. I've taken Valerian and my vitamin. I did Pilates this morning ... and, I can tell you in all honesty, I really can't remember the last time I exercised on purpose. ... Well, it might have been in August or September. Maybe.

I like Halloween. I have no idea on what to dress up as.
I might just pull a last-minute crap costume ... like grab some glitter and hairspray. Look! I'm a (ala Meyer) vampire! But, if I do that, I should buy some fangs or something.

(Really, I'm tempted just to buy some fangs and make a little sign that says, "Do NOT ask me to sparkle." Yeah, I'm original like that.)

If I had more time/more money, I'd love to put together something cool ... maybe Steampunk. I could wear a corset! But since I have neither time nor money (nor, really, TALENT), that's not going to happen.

And, sadly, I don't fit into my old clothes from high school (Huh. Do you think that is at ALL related to the fact that I don't exercise often? /sarcasm), or else I'd have quite a few options. I have my Swing dance dress (and I could figure out how to do Victory rolls!!) and some saddle shoes. Or a Victorian-style girl's dress (too short and simple to be a lady's dress). Or the cheongsam I wore for my high school graduation. ... I might even have some of my old bell-bottoms, since I enjoyed the noveau-vintage movement.

Well, if you have any neat ideas for me, spill 'em!

And, no offense, but I don't want to be a Cereal Killer. That's been so overdone. If I have to be something cliche, I want it to be insanely clever.
Yeah, no pressure. Geez, I'm such a jerk. Pay no attention to me. It's not like I seem to hold myself to a higher standard than anyone else.

... I could always just steal Bucket's Snow White headband and try to copy MichellePhan's cute Snow White makeup look from her YouTube video.

So ... yeah. My life, let me show its vast levels of excitement.

Oh, now it looks like I've borked my foot up. I was lacing up the back of Bucket's Snow White costume and then my ankle is ... borked up. Hopefully a hot bath, a couple loads of dishes, folding the laundry, and sweeping and vacuuming are just the prescription that I need.
(It's feeling a little better. It feels like it needs to seriously POP or something. I probably just had my weight centered on a tendon or something stupid like that.)

...

Oh, now that it's been a couple minutes, it's better. Phew.

I know, I'm such a whiner, huh?

I need to seriously make some goals for my life. Maybe that'll make me feel better. That and following our Stake President's suggestion (for the whole stake, not just me. Phew!) of reading the Scriptures more and praying more. (Hey, if I get ANY done, it's a VAST improvement of what I'm currently doing!) (I'm just saying. And it's not that I don't have a testimony of the importance of all that ... I do. I just REALLY suck at it. And I NEED to do WAY BETTER.)

I had a gal tell me yesterday that the reason she called me to ask for help was that I'm such a good person.
I told her that flattery would get her EVERYWHERE.
(I mean, I'm FLATTERED that she thinks that I'm a good person. ... But, between you and me, my dear, I leave a LOT of room for improvement.)

-------------

Michael carved the kids' pumpkins last night. Bucket demanded a kitty and Bruise wanted an Autobot symbol on his. They look good. I'll try and post pictures. (Most likely, they'll be on Facebook. If you don't have me added already, I'll give you a HUGE hint: my blog address is my username there. Or just search for my name. If that fails, just comment and I'll try and help. ^_^)

My mom's coming up tomorrow (Yay!) and I'll start my volunteering at the library on Wednesday (yay! Although I'm nervous about that. It's been, like, FOUR YEARS since I was volunteering last! Crazy!!!!)

And I'm trying not to freak out too much about Jury duty ... especially since it won't be until DECEMBER or JANUARY ... and, then, maybe not even at all!

(But, since one of my friends has received a summons for the same term, I could technically have Joseph in the same jury. ... If he and I are on the same jury, do you think we could pass notes to each other? Jenny, would you support that action? :P)

Yeah, I really handle the unknown WELL, don't you think?? (It's totally acceptable to answer honestly. Honestly being: "No, you crazy lady. You don't accept change well at all. Isn't that why you haven't had more kids already? If you keep on this way, when Bruise and Bucket graduate, you're going to totally have yourself an empty nest. And THEN where will you be??")
(Answer: probably in a corner crying and petting my own hair and wondering how MAH BAYBEES grew up so fast. Or maybe I'll just hole up in the bathtub with books. It's a toss-up.)

Okay. Time to stop kvetching and time to start spending time with my little Snow White and Optimus Prime (they're playing dress-up) and teaching Bruise to write his name ("I need help!"). And doing some praying and scripture stories in the morning. To help fulfill my nurturing duties. And to help get some of those blessings that I DESPERATELY need. *tight grin*

Hope that everyone's having a good day! Don't bork up any part of your bodies, okay??

Sinks are fixed!! Michael bought a plumber's snake/auger/thing and it did the trick. Phew!!
Having a handy husband is, like, the BEST THING EVER.

I realize that I forgot to talk about Bruise and Bucket's last dance class. She wore her Snow White ballerina outfit (from an eBay shipment my mom got ^_^) and had a BLAST learning the arm positions of ballet. She and Bruise wouldn't let me take lots of pictures.

Me: (stands maybe two feet away to get a full-body length shot of my daughter)

Bucket: No, Mom!! I need you here WITH ME!!
Me: WHAT? I'm a FOOT away from you! Where do you think I AM?? TIMBUKTU????

Bruise, for the second week in a row, named the teddy bear (each of the children gets to hold a teddy bear to help them do stretches) "Poopybuns."
Yup, that's my boy.

Bucket, on the other hand, has gone through Disney Princesses names -- Ariel, Belle, Snow White ...

At the end of class, Bucket wanted to help Bruise put on his shoe. And he didn't want HER help. So I had a wonderful tantrum from the BOTH of them. *sigh* And, of course, they wouldn't take a nap. FUN!!

But then my mom came up the next day and it was good. And we bought books and I got signed up to volunteer and Michael fixed the sink.

Thursday, we had a slumber party with the kids. We ate dinner, had a Scripture story, and settled on the couch with some popcorn (and some summer sausage and cheese) to watch The Princess Bride (since they asked to watch a Mommy and Daddy show). They really enjoyed it (this time. We tried sharing it with them a few months ago, but they couldn't sit still through much of it) -- the fact that there's a PIRATE and SWORDS and a PRINCESS were highly appreciated.

Then we made up the big beds (my old daybed which is in their room has a trundle. Michael took the daybed and I took the trundle, which I covered with piles of blankets) and bedded down for the night. And the kids actually let us sleep for most of the night!

Yesterday, we went into town to take the kids to a free trial for soccer lessons. We can't afford lessons just yet (unless there's a SIGNIFICANT twins discount), but Bruise and Bucket did really well and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. (Makes me REALLY long for when I have the money to let them be involved in myriad activities. *wry smile*)

Then we returned some library books (and I turned in my volunteer application) and went grocery shopping. We were going to take the kids to the pumpkin patch, but we were HOURS early and it was POURING, so we had to take our (now grouchy kids) (and their grouchy, hormonal mommy) home.
Not so much fun then. But Michael and I got to watch episodes of Chuck, so it wasn't a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day overall.

I got to do some dishes. And laundry! So that was good, since I didn't really get to do those much at all the other day.

Today, Michael sacrificed being able to go out on a boat to go crabbing with the EQ (Elders Quorum -- i.e, men 18+ at church) in order to hang with us and take the kids to the pumpkin patch. Bruise didn't get to "help" drive the tractor on the hay ride this year, since it was REALLY busy. The past couple years, when we've gone, we've gone earlier in the month. And, when it's less busy, usually the drivers make sure that every child on the ride who would like to drive the tractor gets a chance. When it's this busy, though, they can't make so many stops to switch the drivers. :( Oh well. Bruise took it REALLY well (which rather makes up for the fit he's currently throwing because he does NOT want to take a nap at all). He was all smiles and picked out a 9 lb pumpkin. Bucket chose one that was 7 lbs. The one I chose was 11 ... and they're all very pretty and golden orange.
(One man that we saw got a 53-lb pumpkin. FIFTY-THREE POUNDS!!)

Then we bought fresh sugar-cinnamon coated doughnuts and a gallon of apple cider. YUM!

Now, the kids are in bed to nap, I've changed out of my mud-smeared jeans and soaked shoes, my belly is full of lovely doughnuts and fresh apple cider ... my husband is here ... it's nice.

Oh, yeah, and I've been summoned for jury duty. I've never been called for jury duty before. All I really know about jury duty is that it's my civic duty ... and bits from Hollywood (Runaway Jury and Pauly Shore's Jury Duty are the first movies that come to mind) ... well, I remember learning a little about jury duty from my high school government class a DECADE AGO.

So, yeah ... I'll have something to blog about in a couple months. Yay?

That's really about it ... I think.

Sink, sank, sunk

Two of our sinks in the house are ... rather crazy at present.

The good news is that the dishwasher worked!
The bad news is that the sink in the laundry room somehow ended up with some of the dishwasher's waste water in IT. WEIRD.

It started with the kitchen dual sink just transferring draining water into each other. Now, I guess that the laundry room sink was lonely, so it had to get in on the action.

But, on the bright side, the bathroom sinks, showers/tubs, and toilets all work.
(So, worst case scenario, I just do the dishes in the dishwasher and drain the laundry room sink OR I could just do the dishes in the bathtub.) (At least until Michael fixes it.)

Mom was very proud of how calm I've been over the whole thing. (I've been calm, even though I'm full of UNBALANCED HORMONES [FUN!!!!!] {NOT.} because Michael was here to be my knight in shining armor and worked at getting the sinks fixed.)

Let's see, what else has gone on .... ....

Tuesday, Mom and I (and the munchkins) went to look for used books. There used to be a Book Bin here in town. But we couldn't find it (since the local parent's news referred to it as still being here, so I had no reason to think that it wasn't!) and we stopped in the Chamber of Commerce building to ask after it ... to find that it really WAS where I thought it had been ... and that it hadn't been there for a couple YEARS!!

But the kind people at the CoC did recommend a couple good bookstores here in town, one of which was in walking distance. And we were able to get a few good books there. (And we went to the OTHER Book Bin, over in the next town, on Wednesday and bought lots and lots of wonderful books there.)

Mom and I were reading through the synopses of the Oz books on Wikipedia (she had printed it out) and were rather laughing quite a lot ... especially at a few of the Ruth Plumly Thomspon summaries ... My mom's now DESPERATE to read "Kubumpo in Oz" about Prince Pompadour of Pumpernickel and Kubumpo, the Elegant Elephant.
I will be on the lookout for Glinda of Oz (Baum's last book. It's supposed to be quite a bit darker than his usual, since he wrote it as his health declined) and Jack Pumpkinhead of Oz (by Plumly) who meets Snif the Iffin (a griffin who has lost his "grr" <-- Seriously!!! That's a character's name and description).

Later, we went grocery shopping and bought the kids some new vitamins. Marvel Spiderman vitamins -- three flavors, three characters: Cherry Spiderman, Grape Capt. America, and Apple ... as mom read it ... "The Incredible HUNK."

Oh, we were giggling like mad!

And it didn't help that as we walked though another aisle, I whispered to mom that she should be SO grateful for my self-restraint, because I COULD have slapped an old man's butt and run up so that he would have thought that SHE had done it.
And she whispered back that maybe, if I HAD done it, she could have told him that he was the Incredible Hunk.

Oh, we have a good time together.

Yesterday, while we were getting dinner ready, Mom was making up gingerbread dough (since she and the kiddos had read "The Gingerbread Man" together. I didn't have enough molasses (since I never usually USE molasses unless I AM making gingerbread, which I OBVIOUSLY don't do all that often) ... we substituted what I didn't have with some corn syrup (which later necessitated using another couple cups of flour so that we could roll it out).

Mom mixed up all the ingredients and then told me, "Okay, you can do the next step," thinking that I'd be rolling it out. HA! I looked at the directions and the next step was to chill the dough for at least an hour!
(And I was glad because it let me finish getting my spice cabinet organized. ... and making the list of all the spices that I need to buy. Like ground cloves and dried rosemary!!!)

This morning, we made the gingerbread men (and women) before Mom had to take off (and we went to storytime). As I mentioned, we had to add TONS of flour to be able to roll the dough decently. But the cookies turned out well. And I actually had some frosting in the fridge, so I didn't have to make any. ^_^ Bruise and Bucket had a good time decorating cookies ... Bucket made a "Scary Temple" with candy corns all standing up on it.

(On another one, she said it was Bruise ... and it had a candy corn standing up around the belly-button area. I remarked to Mom that I was glad it wasn't any lower. I think that Mom blushed. Then she chided me for being ill-behaved. :P)

I have a Stake YW meeting tonight. I know that it's important to go to meetings ... but GOSH I have GETTING to them. I know that once I get there, I'll have a good time and all .... but it's the GETTING there part that kills me. At least, this time, I'm going by myself ... so, if I need to, I can cut out a little early so I can get home to watch BONES ... since I know that I'm going to miss being here for the kids' bedtime story (We're now reading "A Horse and His Boy." ... And it's been so long since I've read it. *sigh*) (.... Oh well, I'll just have to read that chapter Friday morning or something).

If the sinks were working, I'd just go and put everything away and finish getting the dishes done. But since they aren't, I'll read instead. (Oh, boo!! Right?? :P)

What ... 500th post? You've got to be kidding me!

I was just going to blog about the last few days ... and then I realized that, gosh, I've somehow reached a 500th post here at Blogger (not counting the umpteen-hundred that I've had at previous blogs - LiveJournal and Diaryland).

No, I can't have made 500 posts. That's just crazy.
Crazy enough that it could be true.

*sigh*

So, to commemorate this occasion, I should probably do something kind of special.
I'll do the 100 things about me. In a bit of Becket-like stream of consciousness.

1. As scared as I was of ever having kids, I really have trouble remembering what life was like before Bruise and Bucket.
2. But I do know that it was a LOT quieter.
3. It used to be that I'd qualify a day as a "good day" if I got through at least one book.
   Now it's usually based on IF the kids have taken a nap, so I have time to read and clean the house.
4. Michael always remarks how tense I am when I drive. I used to enjoy driving. Now it's just a time to listen to music as I take the kids places.
5. I am a carb addict. I love bread. And cookies. And cake. ... Which isn't a huge surprise to look at me. I also love those simpler carbs. Which is one reason I love the holiday season. It's all about EATING and CANDY and BAKING!! Yum!
6. I need to make a habit of exercising. STAT. (So I can JUSTIFY eating myself into a stupor this holiday season.)
7. I also have just scrapped the scripture study/personal prayer log that I've been working on for Personal Progress. I want one that isn't a half-@$$ed effort. I want one that is really going to get me in a habit of doing it for real ... so that I'll have a really good daily habit. For the right reasons (Not just to get my mom to sign off a goal).
8. I can be a perfectionist.
9. But I'm really lazy, so a lot of the time I find myself getting frustrated and throwing my hands in the air and taking a (sometimes permanent) break.
10. I FRAKKIN' LOVE my calling as YW Secretary. It just makes me happy. I work with AWESOME people.
11. I feel guilt that I don't read to my kids more/haven't taught them to write all their letters/they're not doing basic sums on paper/I haven't spoken to them more in German (so they will find it that much harder to be bilingual)/I don't take them out to the parks more ....
12. But it doesn't stop me from being on the computer all that much. So I guess I don't feel THAT guilty.
13. I should feel more guilty that my kids love the money song from Cabaret. And slightly guilty that Bruise asks/begs me to sing "the honey song" (because once when putting honey on their toast, I started singing "Honey, honey" by ABBA.
14. I thought about being a History major. Because it'd be pretty awesome to be a museum curator or something. But it'd be HARD to get a job as that.
15. So I went into Education, since that was a safe bet.
    
16. And also, I'd get to learn how to deal with kids.
17. And then I found that I really am not a great fit for the classroom.
18. Well, at least I found that out before I signed a contract.
19. I hate ants. Well, if they're in or on my house. If they're outside, just minding their own nest, I think they're fine. I blame that on "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" and how the kids befriended that ant. Or else I might REALLY hate them. Well, except that I really loved playing SimAnt. Good game.
20. Yeah, I like computer games and video games.
21. Even more than my husband. And he's the one who brought the Playstation into our marriage.
22. Before that, all I had was my computer and my Sega Genesis. (Yes, I AM that old school.)
23. Then, Michael spoiled me by getting me a PS2 for my birthday back in 2003. Good times.
24. I'm always confused by the fact that he can't play a video game for longer than about 20 minutes without getting bored. ... That'd never fly for playing Final Fantasy!
    
25. I really like the Final Fantasy games.
26. I'm still COMPLETELY STOKED that I beat FF9 back in, what, 2002 or 2003?
27. Yes, that WAS a long time ago.
28. Hey, if I put my mind to it, I could get to the end of FFX and FFX-2 ... I'm rather close.
29. But I'm totally stuck early on in Kingdom Hearts ... and that one's really geared for kids!
30. But I've gotten through the Lego Star Wars and Indiana Jones games on my DS.
31. And YES, I am very pleased with myself.
32. Oh, my flip. Did I REALLY just make a tenth of this list about video games?
33. Well, I guess it goes to show you that I really am a nerd. ... Well, a geek.
34. The difference between the two is that geeks have better social skills.
35. I live in the past a lot.
36. Mostly because I wish that I wasn't such a lamebrain for so much of it.
37. People compliment my writing. And that makes me feel special.
38. I try not to let it go to my head, though.
39. Michael says that I'm the only person whose voice totally shows through in my writing. Really, I do write JUST like I talk.
40. And I'm a bit bitter that not all my writing teachers APPRECIATE that. It's not like I talk badly or anything. I can be quite eloquent!
41. Firefly quotes make me happy.
42. They're like my mental litmus test: If I'm too depressed/sad/upset to quote Firefly WATCH OUT.
43. I wish I were smarter.
44. And more confident.
45. And a snazzier dresser.
46. And in shape ... seriously, my mum-tum bums me out. And my thighs aren't helping.
47. Yes, I am kind of vain. In the way that I want to measure up and be cute like all the people I'm around.
48. I should be a better example to my kids by exercising more.
49. And not complaining about my crappy self-image.
50. But I've never been skinny-skinny.
51. And having a big chest hasn't really been totally conducive to making me feel like I fit in.
    Because it's FREAKING ANNOYING to have to buy expensive bras just to get some that fit. Grrrr. (Makes me almost wish that I were flat enough to just wear tank tops or something underneath.)
52. But I really need to learn to accept my body for what it is. And appreciate it.
53. Or to get off my duff and learn to love like motivate myself to exercise.
54. Even though it makes me sweat.
55. And I can feel my fat jiggling as I do it. Ugh. Could I just wear a full-body slimmer as I exercise?
56. I should shut up about complaining like this. It's annoying me. (And if you're annoyed, too, I don't blame you at all.
57. I feel kinda dumb when I bear my testimony in front of people. Mostly because I feel like I should be expounding something amazing ... but I suppose that maybe I'm not quite as trite and childish as I feel I am.
58. I have no issues with the fact that I still pray like a 5-year-old.
59. I still have my prayers answered, so I figure that Heavenly Father approves. ^_^
60. I'm sure glad that He's not too picky.
61. It'd be nice to be a LOT more spiritual.
62. No matter what people say about my church, I do know it IS true. It makes me happy. My faith comforts me. And I figure that they're all free to believe what they want to believe.
63. It hurts me how little love is present out in the world -- If people loved each other and knew how precious we all are, there wouldn't be near as many terrible things happening. I just don't get how people can be so MEAN and TERRIBLE to each other (e.g., the situations with Kevin [my friend's brother who was murdered] or Brooke Wilberger or those sorts of things). It boggles my brain.
64. I think, and this is me probably being all naive and kinda dumb and oversimplified, that it must be really, really lonely to have same-sex attraction. I just want to give homo-/bi-/trans-sexual people a hug because they really need it. They're great people and I love them. But I do believe that the act of procreation is reserved to be used in marriage. It's not their fault that they're attracted to someone they can't get married to. They need extra love and understanding. ... At least, that's MY opinion of it.
65. I figure that we're all just here, making our way through life ... and more than enough are very hard on ourselves. We should cut ourselves (and other people some slack).
66. With the exception of those that don't give a crap who they're hurting ... or who ENJOY hurting others. I know it's not Christlike at all of me to think this, but I feel that those individuals don't have a place in the gene pool. (I know. I'm NOT at all perfect. I've got room to grow.)
67. I think the Dali Lama is ADORABLE. I don't always agree with every single thing he's said. But he's SO CUTE!!! And he's, like, HAPPY ... ALL THE TIME!!! I wish I could be more like that. (If he had kids, I think he wouldn't yell at them. But if he did, every once in a while, I wouldn't count that against him.)
68. I like it when my kiddos play together.
69. It makes me really irritated when they antagonize each other.
70. Sometimes I wonder if I've lost myself in motherhood ... if I'm any less interesting.
71. Then I wonder, if that's the case, is it really a terrible thing? I mean, I never wanted to be the breadwinner or the most famous person or anything.
72. Sometimes my kids CRACK. ME. UP.
73. I fear that the day will come when Bruise won't demand kisses from me. Or that Bucket won't want to talk to me. ... And that helps me to persevere through those times when I want to devour them like hamsters do when the hamster mama is just. TOO. STRESSED. OUT.
74. Shelving books is relaxing to me. That's why, if I go back to school, I'm totally getting my Master's in Library Science. ... Well, that and so I can be cool like my Cynthia. ^_^
75. I also consider getting licensed in massage. Because massages make people happy. And it's NICE to make people happy.
76. Makeovers make people happy, too. So I almost think about going to beauty school like my Bri.
77. I'm in awe of so many of my friends and family. They're really awesome. And I'm not just saying that. Seriously, if you're having a bad day, ask me for something cool about you. I'll have something. You might want to give me a minute. I could give you something totally trite right away, but I'd like to consider and come up with something amazing about you. Because everyone has at least ONE (if not dozens) of wonderful things about themselves.
78. I often think of myself as a grammar-Nazi ... but then I worry about making TONS of grammatical errors myself. And I start to feel trepidation about just WRITING. ... Then I get over it.
79. You'd think that since my dad and uncle are blind and hard-of-hearing that I'd be a lot more comfortable around people with disabilities. I'm not always. And it makes me feel bad.
80. Artichokes still kinda scare me. Katie, if you make them, I'll try them (Since I know that you know what you're doing). But give me time to psych myself up for the experience.
81. I'd think about skydiving or bungee-jumping ... but my main concern is that I'd wet my pants and have to walk around in pee-pants until I could get dry clothes. And what if I had to drive somewhere to gt them? Getting pee on someone's (or my) CAR? Ewwwww.
82. I don't really care for the writings of Joyce Carol Oats. I know that lots of people think she's all that ... but after forcing myself through SEVEN HUNDRED PAGES of her book about Marilyn Monroe, I really felt like pulling an Oedipus and ripping out my eyes.
83. I like Edward Gorey and Ogden Nash ... I like a lot of poetry. Not because I'm deep. I don't often understand it. I just like the rhythm and word choices.
84. I think I'd have to check myself into a mental ward if I didn't have the internet. I use it for just about everything -- research, finding recipes, comparing prices, reading, entertainment ... I pink, puffy heart me the internet.
85. Sometimes I wonder if I'd really be that much happier if I were a size 6 (see, I don't even need to be a size 0! I could be a size 8, which is still smaller than where I am now) ... I mean, it'd be easier to find clothes that would fit and look better. And I wouldn't be having my obstetrician (back in the day, NO, I'm NOT pregnant now) getting so after me about my weight. It'd be NICE ... but would I be that much happier? And why does it matter to me so much?
86. If I could cook like any celebrity, I think I'd want to be most like Paula Deen. When I was in the midst of morning sickness, I was over at my friend, Terra's, watching her show. And I was HUNGRY, watching her cook.
87. If I can't be like Paula Deen, then I want to be like Ree Drummond. Yum!! She's hilarious and amazing. And I blog stalk her like nobody's business.
88. I like to color with crayons. Especially Crayola crayons. Call me a brand whore all you like on that ... they're just better.
89. If I hadn't stopped watching R-rated movies, I would run out RIGHT NOW (well, if I had someone to watch the kids) and watch Zombieland.
90. Since I'm not doing that, I really would like part of my celestial reward (for my upstanding behavior in making that sacrifice) to include copies of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I'm just sayin'. ^_^
91. I would love to have a pet tiger. That never needed to use a litterbox or eat. Because all that would get wicked-expensive. I just want one to cuddle with and to purr.
92. You know, now I HAVE to be really good and work on having good habits so that I can be with my Gingi-cat again. And I'm a little worried that I won't measure up. Which makes me sad.
93. Yeah, I wouldn't mind writing a book. But I don't know what to write about. And I wouldn't want to be accused of plagiarism.
94. I'm so over Hollywood gossip. I wish that people'd report more on the GOOD stuff that people (and they don't have to be FAMOUS people, even!) do. I do not CARE about which starlet is showing her crotch by not knowing how to get in a car like a lady. ... And when these things happen, I'd rather not reward them with attention ... Unless it's to get them into charm school or something of the like.
95. Yes, I'd have liked to go to charm school. Maybe I'd feel more ladylike and charming than I already am.
96. I think it'd be really awesome to find out that I suddenly had the talent to play multiple instruments. But not at the same time. That'd be going overboard, don't you think?
97. I'm glad that my husband loves/puts up with me. I really don't deserve him. But I'm glad that he sticks with me. He's awesome like that.
98. Every so often I think about scrapbooking. I have friends that scrap and are amazingly creative. But then I realize that this is ME that we're talking about. If I do it, it's going to be digital. So I don't tear up stuff in frustration. Just keepin' it real, y'all.
99. I tend to pronounce "wash" like my Nana does: "WARsh." I didn't used to.
100. I wish that I could get a LIGHT teal DSi ... yes, the SHADE of the color is important. I don't know why. It just is.

And, there you go. 100 quite random things about me. I hope that you aren't scared or anything. Now I need to be ready for when my Visiting Teachers get here. Because they're really fun and I love being Visit Taught (I've been blessed with really awesome VTers in this ward. I do still miss Anne and Katrina. But I love that Dianne and Becky get to see me. ... I should plan a get-together so that I can see Anne and Katrina again soon. ^_^)

Okay. I'll blog about regular stuff soon. Okay?

Thursday was full of saying good-bye to my mom, going to storytime, taking the kids over to one of my Visiting-Teachees' house (where my companion and I helped her finish packing and cleaning), then putting the kids down for a nap (They had been GREAT, sitting and watching cartoons while L and I packed and cleaned. YAY!!!) ... and skipping the RS service night (what used to be called Enrichment. And before it was called THAT, it was called Homemaking), because I was EXHAUSTED.

Yesterday, we went to pick up Michael's paycheck (since payday this month was on a Friday ... and he doesn't go into work on Fridays right now. And we really couldn't wait until Monday to get some money. ^_^) and drove down to take the kids to Wildlife Safari (where I used to go as a girl ... And I've had friends who've worked there. I interviewed for a job there. It would have been rather exciting to be able to put on a resume that I worked with big cats in a show. But it wasn't to be. Oh well. At least I had a very cool job opportunity, no?)

Of course, as we remembered to bring the camera to Wildlife Safari, I did NOT remember to check the batteries on the good camera. *sigh* So, we'll have to go back again (which isn't a huge deal, since Mom got a membership for her, C and US all to go together if we want) to take some better pictures. But I think that my little point-and-shoot camera from before the kids were born (Thanks, both sets of parents!! It was a GREAT Christmas present!!) did a decent job. We took lots of pictures, anyways.

Then we came home and picked up the house and got ready for feeding the missionaries. I made Fettuccine Carbonara (BACON!!!!) and, at Michael's bequest, vanilla pudding (straight from the mix). Michael cooked up some Chicken Parmigiana. Yum!

(I can say that since I'm eating leftover carbonara noodles for breakfast. Hey, it has eggs and bacon in it!!)

Holy crow ... Bruise was sitting on the arm of the couch and fell and hit his head. He's okay. No concussion. Phew.

And, last night, it was SO HOT!!!! I had to open a window in the bedroom so I could fall back asleep after Bruise wet his bed last night (it's been WEEKS since he wet the bed. Poor, tired, tired boy. He was screaming. Michael was holding him (after I stripped him down and put him on the toilet ... and then I went and was remaking his bed. The only casualties of the pee? His sheet and PJs, of course, and his stuffed lion, Aslan <-- YES!! I LOVE that he renamed his lion [originally Scar] to the name of the coolest lion EVER!!!!!!!) and trying to figure out why Bruise was SO MAD. And, while Michael got clean underwear and PJs for the boy, I talked to Bruise a little.
We went back to bed and Michael's all, "He wouldn't tell me what his bad dream was about."
And I was all, "He didn't have a bad dream. He was upset that he had wet the bed."
(Yes, it's crazy enough that I know what kinds of questions to ask a screaming boy at midnight or so ... The questions went, "Did you have a bad dream?" *shakes head* "Are you mad that you wet the bed?" *nods* ... Thank goodness for inspiration!)

ALSO, in publicly being grateful for blessings: YAAAAAAAAAY for the power of prayer that some totally BOGUS charges brought against one of my dearest besties and her husband were dropped (they were being charged with criminal misconduct in regards to their kids. And, if you even LOOKED at them, you'd know that was a crock of buffalo chips, iykwim ... aityd). But the charges have been dropped. PHEW!!!!!!!

Today, we're going to meet the kids' cousins up at a pumpkin patch ... so I had BETTER charge up my camera's battery. .... Okay, it's plugged in. Phew.

In other news, Bucket now has a stuffed pink flamingo which she has JUST named Julie (after my aunt) and Bruise got a little toy semi-truck from Wildlife Safari. ... Currently, they are sitting and watching Return of the Jedi as Michael's helping (along with quite a few of the EQ and High Priests in the ward -- Have I mentioned how awesome my ward is? Because they really rock) my Visiting Teachee move.

.... As of yet, I've done 1/3 of my Visiting Teaching. I need to make appointments with the other two sisters. I have some VT swag all ready for them ... it's just the appointments that need to be made.

Oh!! Funny thing Bruise said!!
-As we were driving up to Wildlife Safari, there are all these white plastic bucket-things with ghost faces drawn on.
Bruce, ever the observer pipes up, "Wook! Dose ghosts can't wave. Dey have no hands. Only heads."
(Seriously, he cracks me up! I'm so glad that he's talking so much! I mean, at first, he never really had a chance to talk. But those times when Bucket's busy or still taking a nap, it's HILARIOUS to spend one-on-one time with him. I love it when I overhear Mutti (what they call my mom) reading and discussing stories with him. ... It's probably because I already KNOW that Bucket's capable of such conversations and all.

But, yeah, I love their senses of humor.

OH!! Oh!!!!! Have you seen this?

I've trained the kids to do that first part ... the "DAYTIME! Nighttime. DAYTIME!!" And it amuses me so, so, so much! What makes it even better is then they reply, "No thanks. I've got an X-box." And then they follow it up with, "Mom, what's an X-box?" Seriously, I could eat them up with a SPOON, I tell you!!

Crazy Dream Chronicles, Part "In Which I Prove What a Complete Dork I Really Am!"

So, last night, I dreamt that I was with Michael at this ... carnival-thing?

And at one booth, there was Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry! How cool is that?? And they were giving out autographs! And I got their autographs!

Then, later, when Michael and I were at the mall, we saw Hugh Laurie headed one way and I quickly went to him and said "hi" and that we had been (and, hey, in my dream we HAD been) in a music video together. (Like as scene dressing. We had been in gold paint, dressed as Egyptian royalty. And I have no idea how I got THAT gig. It was completely left unexplained in my dream.)
And he was all, "Oh, yes. I was wondering how you were doing." (And he had his American-Dr. House accent, not his luscious-usual voice ... but still!)
And I completely went Dork-Allanna and was all, "Oh! Here's my card! It's got my blog address on it, if you have time or want to read it or whatever. Tell your wife hi and all!"

And Michael's next to me, all bemused at how flustered and fan-girl I am around HUGH FRICKIN' LAURIE!!

And I'm all about to text Bri to tell her WHO I had just seen and that he KNEW who I WAS ... and, hey, I got HIS autograph. And STEPHEN FRY's, TOO!!

But we had to hurry and run through Target because we had to make an appointment at this wedding planner-business that we were running. And the bride-to-be we were meeting, after we got there and were waiting for her and her folks to come it, collapsed in the entryway of our office .... and then her hair changed color. And I was worried that she was dead. And I startted to dial 911 ... and really wished that Nathan Fillion as Castle was there to help (though I've only seen one episode. Still, you've got to admit that as Capt. Mal, he's totally dependable and rather trustworthy.) ...

It turns out that she was mostly fine. But I think that her family was pushing this wedding or something.

Sorry, hey, I was still trying to figure out when to cal Bri to report that I MET FRIGGIN' HUGH LAURIE!! (And trying to figure out if it was a dream when I met him or if it really, really happened.

And then I woke up. And I had no autographs. Or my own wedding planning business. Not that I'm dreaming of being a wedding planner. ... Although Michael and I have discussed that if I could put a wedding-planning business together, I'd totally rope Dianne and Bri into it. We could offer packages -- planning, photography, makeover -- all in one place! It'd be kinda cool, right?

-----------------------------------

In other news, my mom's up. And she laughed when I told her about my dream.

Not that I blame her at all. I KNOW that it totally and completely outs me as the nerd that I really am.

And I made potato chowder last night. And bread. The bread was braided and had fresh rosemary in the dough.

Yeah, you totally wish that you were over last night, don't you? ^_^

Oh, and I made a sort of monkey bread, too. It needed more of the melted-butter/caramel-like sauce. But it has diced apples in it! And was really good with ice cream!

So ... yeah.

Oh, and I got the house pretty clean! Woot!!

I'm semi-at-'em ... but I don't know that I'm AWAKE

Okay, I'm up ... and blogging. Not that I have a ton to blog about.

I could tell you that I really like Meg Cabot's "The Mediator" series ... about a girl who sees/helps ghosts ... and is transplanted from NY to California due to her mom's recent remarriage. They're fun books.

Or I could tell you about Nailtiques ... and how, since I started using it (and I don't always remember to apply the liquid protein EVERY day), I did notice (yesterday) that I haven't had nails this long since I was preggers (since, when you're pregnant, those freaky hormones give you wicked-good nails and hair. I've been missing those great nails ... the ONE TIME IN MY LIFE when I have ever had long-ish, strong nails. And it left the building along with the thirty-or-so pounds of bloating. *sigh* Buh-buh, bloat. Don't let the door hit you on your way out! ... But WHY did you have to take my pretty nails with you????).

I mean, I could tell you that when I ordered their little catalog (which, truth be told, is rather small), I was a little confused by the packaging when it did arrive ... it was ... BULKY.

Because, included with the catalog/pamphlet and the ordering card were samples of their non-acetone polish remover AND a little 1/8 oz of their #2 nail protein. (I had wondered why they asked for which nail protein you would want to use. I kinda thought that maybe it was just for informational purposes. It's nice to be wrong.) ... I mean, really! If I were to BUY that sample in their store, it'd be $5 ... and the polish remover runs $3. So they GAVE me for FREE a whole $8 of product! Isn't that amazing??? And it seems to work REALLY well!
(And really, their prices are pretty decent! ... If I had money, I'd be ordering a few things. I keep drooling over their sampler kit and their nail files. ^_^)

So, yeah, if you want to give them a try, GO FOR IT! And if you can support them by buying something, TOTALLY GO FOR IT! I'm completely thrilled by the customer service they gave to someone just LOOKING at their products. ^_^

Yeah, I'm still waking up and am REALLY this excited about a product.
(I've ALWAYS wished for long, healthy nails ... and it always seemed like SUCH a pipe dream. This gives me hope. ^_^)

Okay. I'm going to try and do some more dishes and housework ... get the house into a semblance or order before my mom comes up tomorrow, take the kids to Bucket's dance class, read a couple of books, schedule my VT, and do some more Personal Progress.

Nothing much, right? :P

And again with the apologies ...

Yes, it's been DAYS since I blogged.

Epic suck = me.

Here's the part where I make excuses:

• My mom came up and, truth be told, I have a very good time hanging with her ... so I tend to neglect you, my dears. You do know that I really do love you, right?
  But this is my MAMA. And I love to hang with her so!
• My mom helped me instigate the consequence of "the naughty chair" where little children who are not obedient or pleasant (especially those that are not EITHER) get to have a time-out (one minute per year of life) until they realize the errors of their disrespectful ways and give me a kiss and an apology and go on to do what is required of them
  
  This should be instigated in Congress. STAT.
  
  
• I've been trying to get caught up on the dozens of books that I've checked out. I know that it's not a personal FAILURE to return a book without having had read it.
  It still feels that way a bit. ... But I'm getting better.
• Mom and I have been cooking a little and working on teaching the kids to read and do maths (YES, I use the term "maths." Because I AM a pompous American. :P)
  
• Michael and I took the kiddos to OMSI yesterday to the new Science of Fear exhibit. We had fun. Even though Michael laughed at me because I psyched myself out in the "fear of animals" booth. ... HEY, I find spiders and scorpions rather unsettling.
  However, I wasn't phased much by the fear of loud noises or the fear of falling booths. All in all, quite fun. You should go!
• I skipped choir because I was a slacker and was trying to un-freeze myself (after a bowl of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge sauce *le sigh*) by taking a nice, hot bath ... while my darling offspring took a lovely nap.
• I'm going to need to close this up so that we can have Family Home Evening ... and then read the kids a couple chapters of "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe." (When they take a GOOD nap ... and we have time, I am not against rewarding them with more C.S. Lewis. ... It's a bit of a reward for ME, too. Free time AND more Christian allegory? Sign me up! In triplicate!)
• Bucket's enjoying her dance class. Maybe this week, I'll be able to take pictures of Bruise and Bucket participating in it WITHOUT holding my hands (and, thus, making it impossible to take any pictures).

I also am working more on my Personal Progress ... I haven't done even half of it. But I did tell the Mia Maids that I'm working on it. And K.A. gave me a fist bump ... which made me feel like Gus on Psych (HILARIOUS show!). And, hey, C gave me a shoulder-rub, which was AWESOME (I think that I carry most of my stress in my shoulders ... and they KILL me! UGH!! I should really do more Yoga or something.)

I still need to design about 11 birthday cards for Young Women's (we have quite a few November and December birthdays) and finish the November calendar (it's designed ... LOVE Ms Publisher. LOVELOVELOVE it.), I just need information from the leaders. ^_^

And I need to finish DO my Visiting Teaching (I've been such a slacker! ... Well, sorta. I've designed a CUTE little card to give to all our VT sisters with a quote from the October VT message on the front and my companion's and my phone number on the back. And I have a GREAT idea for what to make for a treat. I just need to DO it and get stuff scheduled and all. And I'm ticked at myself that I've let it get to be the TENTH and I haven't DONE IT YET. ... Yeah, I'm a bit of an overachiever. I like to have it done RIGHT AWAY, so that I can't slack off. And so that I don't get down on myself for not doing it sooner. ... I have issues.)

(And, no, I'm not always the greatest visiting teacher. I sure wish I was. When I was in the U-wards and I had my friend, Cami, as a companion, we were ON FIRE. It was awesome possum. I've had some great companions since Cami ... but it's not quite the same. And since the kids were born, it's a little more diffi--CHALLENGING.)

And I am still struggling with daily personal prayer and scripture study. It's not like I don't KNOW that it's important. It IS. I just really suck at it. STILL. I mean, I should be TONS better at doing all this. But I'm working on it a lot more right now. Which is better. But I'm definitely not great, by ANY definition. Just room to improve, right?

So, yeah .... that really covers a lot of what all I've been up to .... when I've been neglecting you all. Well, all that and Facebook. ^_^

So, yeah ... if you miss me tons, just look me up on Facebook. I'm usually there. All too often. :P

Drain ... Oh.

I'm sorry that I haven't blogged all that much lately. I really haven't felt like I've had a lot to say.
And I hate blogging about my whining-whining-whining ... because that's usually BORING.

Still, I apologize for my silence. It's not you, it's me.

Yesterday STARTED out well enough ... which gave me some hope.
The kids actually participated well (even BRUISE!) at Bucket's little dance class. And that was GREAT! I was heaping praise and hugs like they were on a clearance sale, y'all.

They even got to play at the park next to the building where Bucket's class is.
Then I got them home, and fed them Goldfishes ... and then I attempted to put them to nap.

Which was like a repeat of Saturday afternoon ... and the reason I barely left the bed Sunday (thank goodness for General Conference. Boo for not getting to hear much of it ... But yay for the Church posting the mp3s YESTERDAY ... so I've listened to two of the Sunday morning talks. And I'll be listening to more pretty soon.).

Saturday (and yesterday) was mostly spent hoping and wishing and fretting and threatening that the kids take a %*&()$)@*&%&%(*!$ nap!

Which they didn't.

And their whining and subordination and blatant disregard for me saps me of the will to live.

I called Michael. Read books. Took a bath. ... And still, with all those good things, I was a slug when he got home.

I cried.

We didn't read ANY of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe like we do most other nights. I couldn't even fathom working up the energy to read aloud, let alone do a half-***ed effort at the different voices. (And we're going to meet Mr. and Mrs. Beaver! I can't NOT work to make them awesome!)

I had Michael give me a blessing. I really needed it.

We're skipping storytime today. I know it sounds bad, but I really couldn't care less. I just need to turn in a lot of books ... which I should do as soon as I throw on some real-people clothes. And I will. I need to.

We've taken quite a few of the kids' toys away as a consequence. I'd like them to earn them back. Perhaps I'll just start a big tally -- for each time they obey without whining or talking back, they can earn a point. Ten points and they can earn back a toy (and GOSH, they've got a ways to go!) ... when they DO whine and talk back or flop (I'm looking at YOU, Mr. Bruise), I get a point.

... I forsee myself getting a LOT of points ... I wonder what I should have them forfeit? Probably watching shows. They love to watch shows. ... Oooooh, I could also have them give up ANY choice of music in the car. (They usually get to listen to their songs [i.e., "Jack songs" = Anything from the soundtrack for The Nightmare Before Christmas] on the way somewhere. Then I get to listen to whatever the heck I want to listen to on the way back. Unless I'm feeling especially generous.

I usually don't feel all that generous.

Even though I DO like me some Danny Elfman. Man's a friggin' GENIUS.

Slightly funny:
Bruise: [petting Diana-cat] Diana is [Bucket]'s cat. Gingi is my cat. My cat is DEAD.

Yeah, I think he might miss my Gingi-babe almost as much as I do.

It kills me that I already have started to forget the exact feel of her fur, her scent, the exact sounds she'd make.
It's not like my grandfolks that have passed ... where, every so often, I'll catch a whiff of the smell of Grandma D's house or a hint of cigarette smoke (which will always remind me of Pop-pop) or the musty smell of the attic from Nana and Pop-pop's old house ...

No. But every so often, Ging will appear in a dream. Which simultaneously comforts and saddens me. As opposed to when I dreamt of Pop-pop and was just comforted.

See? I told you I wasn't that funny or amusing right now. I just feel drained and tired.

It's a good thing that my mom's coming up today. Or else I'd just let the dishes and laundry pile up and throw some food at the kids and hole up in my bed or the bathtub or something.

Bucket just drew a flower in the hand of the princess in her coloring book. Impressive.
She drew a picture of her brother yesterday. It was cute. Then she added hair, so it was then HER. Which was also cute.

I need to design birthday cards for my Young Women. I'm not feeling incredibly inspired. Usually I can crank out some cute, personalized cards for my girls pretty quickly (LOVE MS Publisher) ... but ... I'm just not feeling it.

I was wondering if I just used up all my creativity in designing a cute handout to give to my VT sisters (And, if I may be so bold, it IS cute. I asked Michael about it, like, FOUR TIMES.) ... but it's been about 18 hours ago ... and I still don't have any great ideas.
It's not like I don't love these girls ... I DO. I just .... I don't know.

Michael found a pair of his old jeans for me. That's cool. They fit and they don't make me look as squeezed into my jeans as my other pairs of jeans. (Srsly - WHY THE AITCH are women's jeans all practically denim LEGGINGS with a heavy seam in the crotch and pockets? Ew. They make me feel superfat. And, yes, I could lose some weight ... but a good deal of it is all that stretched-out skin from carrying mah BAYBEES. So I refuse to feel as fat as I could. ...butIstillfeelabitfat.)

Besides, most of my jeans all have a hole in the right knee. I think it's because I sit a certain way at the computer (with my right leg crossed over my left most of the time).

Well, I need to get dressed and stuff.

It's cold.

I'm tired of crying. I don't care if it's because I miss my cat, the change in the weather or tides or something, the stress of having dear, sweet children who REFUSE TO EFFING LISTEN TO ME; or the stupid economy or maybe I AM just PMSing ... who knows. I'm just tired of it.

Still, my husband is awesome. And he's a really good cook. And laundry-folder (Hey, I did some too). And house-cleaner. And disciplinarian.

I'm really lucky that I have him.

Even if I feel rather like a complete failure in most other aspects.
At least I'm a total winner in choosing myself a spouse. Totally.

Now, I just need to shape up in, like, EVERY other area of my life.

No biggie, right?
*rolls eyes*