Monday, October 26, 2009

Some vague ennui

Y'know, whenever I use the term "ennui," my brain automatically and immediately sends me back to my senior year of high school -- namely, to a report I wrote for Biology 2. (We had to do two reports for that class. One had to be about a hereditary condition. So I researched [more] about Usher Syndrome, since I'm a carrier of that. The other report was about a communicable disease. I chose to write about the plague/Black Death/y. pestis ... One of the symptoms of the plague is a feeling of ennui.)

(You'll be glad to know that I probably do not have yersinia pestis since I haven't been petting squirrels in petrified forests or anything risky like that. In fact, we seem to have successfully eradicated that stupid infestation of fleas that we were suffering from a few months ago.)

However, I've just been ... yeah.

I don't know whether to chalk it up to the change in the weather or that the days are shorter or it could be related to my (joy of joys) lady cycle *glower*... But I haven't felt very ... chipper or anything. I've taken Valerian and my vitamin. I did Pilates this morning ... and, I can tell you in all honesty, I really can't remember the last time I exercised on purpose. ... Well, it might have been in August or September. Maybe.

I like Halloween. I have no idea on what to dress up as.
I might just pull a last-minute crap costume ... like grab some glitter and hairspray. Look! I'm a (ala Meyer) vampire! But, if I do that, I should buy some fangs or something.

(Really, I'm tempted just to buy some fangs and make a little sign that says, "Do NOT ask me to sparkle." Yeah, I'm original like that.)

If I had more time/more money, I'd love to put together something cool ... maybe Steampunk. I could wear a corset! But since I have neither time nor money (nor, really, TALENT), that's not going to happen.

And, sadly, I don't fit into my old clothes from high school (Huh. Do you think that is at ALL related to the fact that I don't exercise often? /sarcasm), or else I'd have quite a few options. I have my Swing dance dress (and I could figure out how to do Victory rolls!!) and some saddle shoes. Or a Victorian-style girl's dress (too short and simple to be a lady's dress). Or the cheongsam I wore for my high school graduation. ... I might even have some of my old bell-bottoms, since I enjoyed the noveau-vintage movement.

Well, if you have any neat ideas for me, spill 'em!

And, no offense, but I don't want to be a Cereal Killer. That's been so overdone. If I have to be something cliche, I want it to be insanely clever.
Yeah, no pressure. Geez, I'm such a jerk. Pay no attention to me. It's not like I seem to hold myself to a higher standard than anyone else.

... I could always just steal Bucket's Snow White headband and try to copy MichellePhan's cute Snow White makeup look from her YouTube video.

So ... yeah. My life, let me show its vast levels of excitement.

Oh, now it looks like I've borked my foot up. I was lacing up the back of Bucket's Snow White costume and then my ankle is ... borked up. Hopefully a hot bath, a couple loads of dishes, folding the laundry, and sweeping and vacuuming are just the prescription that I need.
(It's feeling a little better. It feels like it needs to seriously POP or something. I probably just had my weight centered on a tendon or something stupid like that.)
Oh, now that it's been a couple minutes, it's better. Phew.

I know, I'm such a whiner, huh?

I need to seriously make some goals for my life. Maybe that'll make me feel better. That and following our Stake President's suggestion (for the whole stake, not just me. Phew!) of reading the Scriptures more and praying more. (Hey, if I get ANY done, it's a VAST improvement of what I'm currently doing!) (I'm just saying. And it's not that I don't have a testimony of the importance of all that ... I do. I just REALLY suck at it. And I NEED to do WAY BETTER.)

I had a gal tell me yesterday that the reason she called me to ask for help was that I'm such a good person.
I told her that flattery would get her EVERYWHERE.
(I mean, I'm FLATTERED that she thinks that I'm a good person. ... But, between you and me, my dear, I leave a LOT of room for improvement.)

Michael carved the kids' pumpkins last night. Bucket demanded a kitty and Bruise wanted an Autobot symbol on his. They look good. I'll try and post pictures. (Most likely, they'll be on Facebook. If you don't have me added already, I'll give you a HUGE hint: my blog address is my username there. Or just search for my name. If that fails, just comment and I'll try and help. ^_^)

My mom's coming up tomorrow (Yay!) and I'll start my volunteering at the library on Wednesday (yay! Although I'm nervous about that. It's been, like, FOUR YEARS since I was volunteering last! Crazy!!!!)

And I'm trying not to freak out too much about Jury duty ... especially since it won't be until DECEMBER or JANUARY ... and, then, maybe not even at all!
(But, since one of my friends has received a summons for the same term, I could technically have Joseph in the same jury. ... If he and I are on the same jury, do you think we could pass notes to each other? Jenny, would you support that action? :P)

Yeah, I really handle the unknown WELL, don't you think?? (It's totally acceptable to answer honestly. Honestly being: "No, you crazy lady. You don't accept change well at all. Isn't that why you haven't had more kids already? If you keep on this way, when Bruise and Bucket graduate, you're going to totally have yourself an empty nest. And THEN where will you be??")
(Answer: probably in a corner crying and petting my own hair and wondering how MAH BAYBEES grew up so fast. Or maybe I'll just hole up in the bathtub with books. It's a toss-up.)

Okay. Time to stop kvetching and time to start spending time with my little Snow White and Optimus Prime (they're playing dress-up) and teaching Bruise to write his name ("I need help!"). And doing some praying and scripture stories in the morning. To help fulfill my nurturing duties. And to help get some of those blessings that I DESPERATELY need. *tight grin*

Hope that everyone's having a good day! Don't bork up any part of your bodies, okay??


Anonymous said...

I love love love your idea of dressing up as a vampire with the Don't ask me to sparkle sign!

It's so you!

If you really don't have any idea, there's always the gipsy route : long skirt, flowy top and a scarf in your hair. Very simple, very cheap and always efficient! It's just a suggestion though! I'm still voting for the vampire...

Bex said...

Wow, thats an interesting/crappy thing to be a carrier for. How did you find out? At least its not too common, right?

Allanna said...

Rebekah, I've known since I was little that I'm a carrier for Usher Syndrome since my dad has it. There's really no danger for my kids to have it since I'm not married to a carrier. ^_^

While I was pregnant, I found out (due to the blood work that had to be done) that I'm ALSO a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. Joy!

So, yeah, I'm a carrier for TWO crazy hereditary conditions. ... At least I can start warning my kids early what surprises their DNA might have.

Jennifer said...

You guys should totally pass notes :) just don't get held in contempt of court - I don't want to have to bail you guys out of jail ;)

Our Army Life said...

I say wrap yourself up in aluminum foil and go as a baked potato... hey you wanted an idea...
Don't worry about your SEVERE depression...j/k... 'this too shall pass'. Anyway.... Luff yas!

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