Sunday, January 22, 2017

Bouncing Back ... but not LITERAL bouncing because ... um ... REASONS.

Daaaang, yo. It's been a long time since I last blogged.

Seriously ... six months? I'm sorry. I just haven't really had anything that I felt like was a decent contribution. (I've posted on Facebook ... but that's really been most of it).

Okay, what all are the BIG things that have happened since I last posted? ...

  • The big kids went back to school.
  • I'm still taking notes for PTC ... managed to be late, like, TWICE ... which is not like me.
  • Bubbles is going to MusicMakers once a week (it's this free, cute music and activity class. We sing. We have an activity. They play with a parachute. They eat a snack and listen to a story. She loves it. I enjoy it, too. Everyone's supernice.)
  • Bubbles is also in ballet class. She enjoys it. I enjoy watching her. She had her first recital in December. Her class was adorable.
  • The kids did manage to get their room clean a couple times. Is it clean right now? ... Let's pretend you didn't ask. We'll all be happier.
  • Bruise and Bucket got themselves GROUNDED off their tablets. AGAIN.
    We're waiting for them to work off enough points. It's slow going. Oh well.
  • I got a new computer. It's nice and fast. 
  • Our heat pump went out right at the beginning of the cold snap. We've used space heaters and are doing fine.
  • I've decided to go through the hard, painful parts of grieving over that one situation that I've been all sad-sack about. I had messaged her around Christmas. She messaged back a couple weeks ago ... that I (somehow) really betrayed her trust. I'm still not sure what I did. But I apologized for hurting her, whether or not I did it knowingly.
    I mean, I HATE the idea that I would do something that could cause enough hurt for someone to cut me entirely out of his/her life. I can't think of anything that I've done ... and, if I did it NOT on purpose, ... well, that really sucks.

    I mean, honestly, I'm frustrated over the situation. I really would have hoped that, close as she and I were, she would value our friendship enough to tell me asap that I did something, so that I could apologize for it. ... And, honestly, I feel that I've spent the last 18-ish months defending her ... when she didn't feel that our friendship was worthwhile enough to contact me and tell me that I was a jerk and allow me the chance to make things right.

    And, after she did contact me back (and refrained from letting me know what I did), I took a look back on things and realized that, for a long time, as much as I love and value her as a person, our friendship has been ... stressful. I always had to worry about what I said or how I said it, since she has a tendency to take offence at things quite easily.

    So, I still love her as a friend and I really miss our friendship, especially toward the beginning, when we had SO much fun and laughed so much and I didn't worry that I'm a terrible jerk of a person and that I can't maintain a friendship (which, I know is illogical. I'm friends with people that I've known since grade school. One of the girls I went to high school with -- we're friends on Facebook --, when I said that I was annoying in high school, she argued that I wasn't. Which is incredibly sweet of her (and I don't know how true it is ... because, frankly, I could be VERY annoying).

    But, yes, I think that Heavenly Father is sending a lot of tender mercies my way. I know that I need to continue to love this girl (and I do), but I'm getting to the place where I'm able to attain a lot more peace than I've felt for a while. 
  • I actually did some more social-type things. I went to my ward RS (Relief Society) meeting and learned about budgeting and food safety and cardmaking. And it was really fun.
    I contacted a friend and had social time with her. We chatted and she's excellent with advice and I felt so very much better.
    I went to the Stake RS meeting, where we made newborn kits for another friend to take down to Guatemala in the summer (she and her husband do a lot of humanitarian work there). And I found that I have a natural talent at getting the air out of ziploc-baggies packed with baby gear (MY TIP: before you completely seal the bag, LAY ON IT. Having the amount of mass I have, I just smush it with my breasticles and muffin-top. THEN you seal it. ... It's nearly perfectly flat and looks like you hit it with a vacuum-sealer. .... I finally found my secret talent!)
  • Bruise and Bucket are almost through with their first semester of violin lessons this year. Their concert is coming up this week.
    Last fall, they were in dance club at school. They learned some Swing and Salsa. Bucket is continuing dance club. Bruise is going to be in soccer club (of COURSE).
  • I started doing Duolingo again. I finally got all caught up (and past) where I had left off months and months ago. It took me a while (a month!!) of doing it every day. Do I feel confident in my 49/49% fluency in Spanish? Hahahahahahahaaaaa-NO. But I'm getting better and that's something.
  • Michael's been CRAZY-BUSY lately. It means that the Sabbath really IS the day of rest.
  • I bought sweatpants yesterday. I may never take them off.
    Soooo comfy AND THEY HAVE POCKETS.
  • Bruise and Bucket turned 11. They just keep growing and everything.
    I need to do a birthday post for them.
  • Bubbles was SO UPSET that THEY had a birthday and she didn't (she has to wait a couple months, poor kid), so we made a paper chain to count down to her birthday.
  • I've been listening to a LOT of Hamilton (the edited CD and mixtape). Love it. I keep waking up with random songs stuck in my head. And, apparently, we're Lin-Manuel Miranda fankids, since we also play the Moana soundtrack in frequent rotation.
  • Bruise got his Webelos badge and Arrow of Light ... and is now in 11-year-old Scouts.
  • Bucket got glasses for reading the whiteboard in school.
I mean, all in all, it's just a collection of busy nothings.

But it's my life. And I'm feeling more comfortable in it again.

And, thank you for reading. I'm grateful for you.
Just wanted you to know.

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