Friday, October 23, 2015

Dream Resolution (I originally wrote "Resolution Dream," but this ordering makes it sound more like Revolutionary Girl Utena. And you should always go for that. If you're me, at least.)

Last night, I dreamed again.

I was in some play/theatrical thing ... maybe something Shakespearian.

It was, apparently, some sort of presentation ...

But I was in it with another guy and girl.

I remember at one point thinking, "Oh! I should take off my [wedding] ring, since my character's not married. Whoops!"

And... something happened where EVERYONE, cast and audience, had to go out into the foyer.

I found myself standing next to, among the throng of people milling about, that friend who unfriended me on Facebook.

"Hi," I said to her.

She didn't really respond, but she did look at me.

"Hey," I said. "I don't know what I did that hurt you so much. But, whatever I did that I did that offended you and hurt you so badly, I want to apologize for it. I've never meant to hurt you. I love you and I want you to be happy. And I get that it might mean that I'm not a part of your life. But I do want to tell you that I'm sorry."

And she let me hug her. And we stood next to each other in the shoulder-to-shoulder line that was being formed.

And I feel more peaceful.
I wonder if I should send her a message ... just so that she knows that I don't really know what I've done ... but that I never have meant to cause her any pain. And, if I've done that, I never did it on purpose and I'm sorry that I took actions that ever caused her suffering.

I get that maybe she does need more time.
And that, very possibly, she'll never want to be as close as we used to be.
But I think that I'm ... okay ... again.

It never feels "good" or anything when you have someone turn from a BFF/sister-of-the-heart into someone-that-I-used-to-know. And, regardless of how another friend described the situation, I can't think of this (ex?-)friend as a frenemy ...

In other, completely unrelated news, I sewed a cloak for Bucket's Halloween costume. ALL BY MYSELF.

YES, I SHOULD have lined  it, hemmed it, whatever ... but it's made of felt and she wasn't picky.
And it's done.

Michael and I still need to finish Bruise's shirt for his costume ... that'll take some time and energy. At least we bought everything we'll need.

I'll need to make the clasp to hold Bucket's cloak closed. But, hey, at least Bubble's costume is all done. I even found a little stuffed animal for her to carry around with it, to complete her costume. Phew!

Okay, I should go take Bucket to her violin class soon.

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