Thursday, June 03, 2010

On being an aunt again ...

My niece was born this morning at 7:54 AM.
(Obviously the doctors were on schedule, since my SIL's C-section was scheduled to start at 7:30.)

She's 5 pounds, 9 ounces and 18-1/2 inches long.

Mom C sent me a picture on the cell phone.

This is a good thing.

I remember the first time I became an aunt. With this little baby's oldest sister.

As an only child, I was completely and totally resigned to the fact that I'd NEVER be an aunt. EVER.
(Obviously, I never considered the fact that I might marry someone with siblings. That's me. Completely egocentric.)

And, so, when my first niece was born, I really had NO. FRIGGIN'. CLUE as to HOW to be an aunt.

I really wanted to be the cool aunt. One that she could come to for advice as a teenager and all ...

But, seeing as how I was (again egocentric) and a little bitter about not being able to have the first grandbaby (Because, dammit, I'm older. Just saying. ... And, yeah, I'm still a little bitter that, on my dad's side, all [two] of my younger cousins are taller than I am. Didn't used to be that way. ... And, really, things aren't looking so good for me on my Mom's side, either.) ... Well, let's just say that it's hard to be a cool aunt when you're a bit resentful and trying to hide it.

Of course, it was really helpful that I had to opportunity to email with one of my aunts (who I do think of as my "cool aunt" ... even though she left our family (since she divorced my dad's brother) before I got to use her as a confidant, really.
But I asked her if she ever felt that way. Since my mom did have me before Aunt S had her two kids.
No, she never felt resentful in regards to my mom and me ... but she did feel that way in her family, since one of her siblings beat her to having kids.

And, knowing this, I felt better. I knew that I wasn't alone. And that I wasn't the only person to feel bad (and feel guilty about not feeling more positive).

So, when the second niece was born, I was pregnant with my duo ... and that did change things. (Of course, it did help that I had the first grandson on this side. On my side of the family, I was the first to pop out any kids. Not hard when you're an only child, I assure you. And my step-sisters had their kids a bit ago. I think the last was born when I was in high school or college.)
(And, oh, my Nana was so cute when I let her know we were expecting. "I never thought I'd live to be a great-grandmother!" *lol* And now she has three great-grandkids ... since my Cousin S has her son, too.)

Of course, this second niece and I have never really seen eye to eye ... We have very conflicting personalities. ... Of course, talking with family, it seems that I'm not the only one to feel that way. Ha ha ha. But, yeah. I'm SO NOT the cool aunt with her.

I'm still getting used to my nephew. He's so QUIET (and who could blame him since he has TWO very verbal older sisters?) ... so I never really know what he's thinking.
And, also, I'm distracted by my own kiddos.

So ... well, maybe this little miss will think I'm a cool aunt.

She certainly is unlike her siblings (I don't think that there have been HALF the scares during pregnancies with ALL the others put together. We were worried that she had a birth defect at one point. Then there's the fact she had to be delivered by C-section ... all the others were natural [mostly because my SIL has FAST deliveries]).

Hopefully I'll be cool enough that she won't just think of me as "[Bruise] and [Bucket]'s Mom, the chubby aunt."

(Argue as you will, but I am much more "zaftig" than Michael's sisters or sister-in-law. And, unless J marries an Amazon, I do outweigh them all. ... I try not to think about it all the time. I mean really, Michael married himself a pale, pale, educated blob. ... Yeah, that link takes you to a picture of what I FEEL I look like when compared to his sisters. If I really think about it.
It just captures the pale excesses of skin and the large nose. ... And THAT is why I do my darndest to NOT dwell on the fact that I am not cut from the same cloth as my dear, sweet, darling sisters-in-law.)
(Because, face it. It's downright depressing. ... And I don't like to be all sad.)

(Of course, if I really took up exercising, I could change that. Right? ... Although, I'd be tempted to FIRST tone up doing weight-lifting. This way, when I FINALLY start shedding fat, I'd have these nicely toned muscles to show for it. Instead of blobbly, skinnier appendages. I'm just saying.)

BUT, back to the topic at hand ... It'd be nice to be a cool aunt. Maybe this is my chance.

Though, honestly?
It's SO much easier when they start talking.
Just saying. ^_^

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're not a blob! And I do totally understand the feeling you described. Post miscarriage, I'm almost 100% certain that I won't be able to be the one to give birth to the first grandchild/great grandchild... :-( It kinda does suck a bit.

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