Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Hey, it's only been, like, FIVE days since I've blogged! Score!

Let's see ... what all have we done since I last posted?

Friday - We took the kiddos out to the Halloween party at my library. Then we came home and I went out Visiting Teaching. And that went well. And then I got home, we started making dinner, and Michael's folks came over to visit (not to eat. They already had dinner.).

Saturday - We got the kids ready and took them (and Mom and Dad C ... and we went with C&A and their kids, the cousins) trick-or-treating downtown.
[Aside: Why are people spelling these things "tricker treat" or "trunker treat" ... It boggles my GrammarNazi brain. *sigh* Oh well]

C&A's family all had cute homemade costumes.
C: Batman
A: Wonder Woman
B: Poison Ivy
I: Batgirl
Little C (different name, same initial): The Joker (This 2-year-old Joker was a huge hit. I'm trying not to be jealous. :P)
Baby H: Harley Quinn

Michael didn't dress up at all.
I wore my Jayne Cobb get-up.
Bruise was Darth Vader (and had me do his make-up so he looked like Vader UNDER the mask. This was last minute, or I'd have tried to get some white facepaint, too. I managed with just black kohl eyeliner and brown eyeshadow.


Bucket was a "pink Misty cat" ... and I did her makeup quite a few times this weekend. This was what was worn to go Trick-or-Treating ... it wasn't the most intricate, but it worked.

And, yeah, I need to get some NOT FAT pictures of me as Jayne Cobb to share. But I don't have any just yet. 
Tough beans, y'all.

The kids and I went to the OTHER next town over after lunch with the family. I needed to visit Cousin Pennie. She showed the kids the guinea hens and the steers that Tom raises. We traded family history stuff. I gave her what Uncle Steve sent up ... and she gave me the wedding portraits of my great-grandparents to give to Uncle Steve.

Seriously, these wedding portraits are HUGE. Each is about two feet tall. It's crazy!
I'll take pictures soon. I just have been ... busy and tired and in a funk the last few days.

After that, we headed back home, got the kids ready AGAIN, and headed over to visit Bri ... and we ended up being about an hour late to the church Halloween party. It was really crowded and the games were ending. And we went and did about five minutes of the Trunk-or-Treat in the parking lot .... And Bruise (who I had. Bucket was with Michael) was ready to go home. Or, just to the car to snuggle, at least.
But Bucket was done about a minute later ... so we went home.

And, really, no one got my costume. I mean, Dianne did after she thought about it (which is some consolation). And Bri knew it ... and her mom got it ... but, yeah ... it was rather a letdown, since it was a bit of effort on my part.

I mean, explaining my Jem costume was expected. Jem hasn't been on the air for about 20 years. Last year's costume (fangs and glitter = Twilight vampire) was slapped together at the last minute. This year? I spent about two weeks getting everything planned and gathered .... and, yeah, it was a disappointment.
I'll get over it.

Sunday was ... Sunday. I wore cute tights to church (that had to be held up with a pair of panties over them. "One Size Fits All"???? No it doesn't.

YOU LIE!

...

I had a meeting after church ... and then we folded the mountain of laundry in the bedroom, watched She-Ra, went Trick-or-Treating at the neighbor's house, and then, in the evening, we watched Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and handed out candy. We had about, what, 8-10 Trick-or-Treaters ... not too bad.

And we took out the garbage.

Yes, we're that exciting/hardcore.

But, then, I looked SO FAT and NOT ATTRACTIVE AT ALL in the two pictures that I saw of myself in costume. So ... Yeah, Monday was spent in a funk.
I went to do the Yoga Booty Ballet video I checked out from the library. Between the kids getting up to pee and answering the phone, I gave up.
If someone offered me liposuction for my thighs and butt and a full tummy tuck in exchange for my soul, I'd have been sorely tempted.
Dude, my period was LAST WEEK ... what's up with this????
Is this a November/Monday thing? Whatever it is, it sucked.

And I was all peeved that we only have the water heater set high enough that I run out of hot water halfway through filling up the bathtub. 

Stupid body issues. Stupid emotional rollercoaster.

So, yesterday was mostly spent crying, cleaning up the house a little, crying some more, drinking water, moping because the health challenge this week is about eliminating empty calories in one's diet (ON THE EXACT SAME DAY THAT I WANT TO BURY MY FACE IN A FEED BUCKET OF CALORIE-LADEN GLUTTONY) ... so I ate cottage cheese and honey-flavored Greek Yogurt with pumpkin/flax seed granola until I felt nauseated ... and I STILL wanted CANDYCANDYCANDY. But I didn't eat any. And I was OH SO PLEASANT to be around (<-- That there? Total sarcasm. TOTAL.) ... and I read a few more chapters of Beyond Heaving Bosoms after plodding through about 1,300 words for NaNoWriMo.

No, I don't know where it's going.

And I asked Michael what men think at the beginning of relationships. He didn't much care for that.

So: question for you, if you want to just satisfy my curiosity. And you can totally just email me if you're embarassed. I won't tell anyone.
What is the first thing you do/did you think when you see/saw an attractive member of the opposite sex?

Me? I always wondered if he was a good kisser and what it'd be like to kiss him.

Someone else who won't be named. But is a guy: What she looks like undressed.

(Are all guys like that? Just wondering. I wouldn't know. I'm not a guy.)

(And I really suck at picturing people naked. Really. It's like they're wearing black underoos.)

(If I didn't demand that I have a modest costume, it'd totally be HILARIOUS to have a black bra and black panties that read, in big, bold, white, capital letters: CENSORED. Don't you agree?)
(It could just be me.)
(Wouldn't surprise me. I'm kind of a total weirdo.)

(BUT, I totally couldn't wear that to a church Halloween party. NO. FLIPPING. WAY. Because it'd be inappropriate.)
(But I still find it rather hilarious.)
(Because, obviously, I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.)

But, yeah. To sum up: Yesterday was spent in a funk.

Today, I need to make two dinners -- one to take to a friend's house. I will go running/walking/whatever with Jenny (where I will breathe like a beached whale, since I've not be exercising by myself much. I just am not all that motivated.) ... and I will finish a load of dishes. And maybe fold some laundry. And drink 32 oz. of water.

And not eat the leftovers of THREE GINORMOUS BAGS of leftover Halloween candy.
(Because they're not Reese's PB cups, it's a little easier. ... And, am I getting totally OLD? Because Wonka's Bottle Caps don't taste as great. But I did eat all the packages of Gummi Bears before this health challenge.)

(WHAT?? They're LOW-FAT.)

(Yes, I am making a point of living in denial. ... Why can't I look like Romy and Michelle when THEY go on the diet of eating gummi bears, candy corn, and  ... something else. It's been a while since I've seen that movie. ... Speaking of, maybe I should get mono. That'd be "the best diet ever." ... Except for the fact that I can't afford to go to the doctor to get antibiotics ... Oh well.)

Okay, I think I've talked enough in parentheses.

I should finish up, do the dishes, and crank out at least one thousand words for NaNoWriMo ... *sigh*

3 comments:

Hilary said...

You totally cracked me up! I imagine that you sorta whisper when you talk in parenthesis! Hehe!

And I, too used to wonder how the opposite sex kissed. Never imagined them naked. So it must be a guy thing!

I know how you feel about negative body image issues! I have them every single day! It's a daily struggle for me especially since I struggle with anorexia. So yeah, I know exactly how you are feeling. Ever want to talk, let me know!

(So anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I think you're fantastic because you make me laugh! And I know that if we ever actually knew each other or lived by each other, we'd be friends. I think you're just as silly as me because I totally laughed super hard about the CENSORED outfit you described! I am totally with you on that)!

Allanna said...

Hilary - We so have to meet in real life sometime.

You totally sound right up my alley. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks the "Censored" costume is hilarious.

And thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one who doesn't always love her own body. *hugs*

The Webb Clan said...

A. I LOVE Greek yogurt with honey. But it has to be the fatty kind of Greek yogurt, non of this "non-fat" stuff, it just kills the taste. I justify the calories with how good it is for you.
B. What I thought about when I saw an attractive man BEFORE marriage... um probably visions of Rhett grabbing Scarlet and laying one on her. "You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how."
and C. I love that you talk in parentheses! (I feel like I do that too much too.) :)

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