Good thing you still love me, right?
I couldn't sleep last night.
I'm sure it had NOTHING AT ALL to do with the fact that I had two HUGE cups of Dr. Pepper when we went to McDonald's yesterday. (My mom came up, since it was a no-school day.)
Of course, after I finished the ebook I'd checked out on my library app, I checked our bank balance.
And FINALLY Michael's paycheck came through before any overdrafts (way to cut it close, right?) ...
Still, it was pretty frustrating, since he is supposed to get paid on the1st and the 16th ... and this is the NINETEENTH DAY of the month. I thought that direct deposits were, you know, scheduled in advance and all that ... but, yeah, whatever.
I hate adulting sometimes.
Especially when you don't have tons of liquid assets (that you THOUGHT you'd have) the morning of your twins' birthday party.
(Good thing it was a small, family party ... They'll get together with friends ... sometime. Especially since one of their friends doesn't celebrate birthdays, so she couldn't come to a BIRTHDAY-thing ... but she COULD come to a playdate-thing, I'd hope.)
But, yes, tender mercies of the Lord: =No overdrafts. (phew.) We had cash that covered (and had some leftover) lunch for us, cake and ice cream and drinks (and plates, napkins, and cups). We had enough food in the house to cover meals without scrimping. Our bread wasn't moldy. The milk hadn't gone sour. (And, even if it HAD, Bubbles is still receiving WIC, so that's nice).
I came to a conclusion, which I wasn't thrilled about ...
Michael and I keep thinking about (someday) building our "dream home" and what we want in it.
We go about this VERY DIFFERENT WAYS.
His way = design a floorplan. Ask me if I like it and what I'd prefer to see. I waffle on the whole thing.
My way = Create a Pinterest board. On it exist NO floorplans. Rather, it's filled with ideas for decorating and organizing. Or cool ideas to integrate INTO rooms. Again, not what Michael had in mind when I told him about that board.
SO, as I was thinking (in the shower, since that's where I do my best thinking for the most part nowadays), I realized that a big reason that I haven't planned on designing actual SPACES (besides my crack spatial skillz /sarcasm) is because deep down, I'm scared that we'll never have the money to actually DO it. And that realization ticks me off, since it feels like, in a way, I'm doubting my husband and his ability to provide for us ... which is stupid. And I DON'T LIKE doing stupid things.
Last week, I was crap at studying (let alone READING) my scriptures. I need to do it. I KNOW I need it. I have a class to prepare for, let alone that it's a GOOD thing that we've been COMMANDED to do.
This week has been better so far.
After church, I holed up in our room for a couple hours -- changed the sheets, looked at the lessons to be covered, read through next week's Relief Society lesson, caught up in the BoM365 (read the Book of Mormon in a year) schedule ... It was nice. I felt productive.
Yesterday morning, since I wasn't in any rush to get dressed or whatever, I started looking through the lesson I'll be teaching in RS in a couple months (Originally, it was going to be lesson 5, about Joseph Smith. BUT, due to needing to reschedule things due to a Stake Broadcast added into the calendar, I'm now teaching the lesson about the Atonement and Resurrection. It's a great lesson (not that the JS one wasn't ... but I like this one a lot and am not at all upset that I get to teach it)) and I read a conference talk, since I do need to go through those a few times (I didn't highlight in my November Ensign yet. Later).
I do need to work on saying sincere prayers ... and having formal, little prayers ... as opposed to just little statements of gratitude or what I need. Prayer is more of a conversation with our Heavenly Father, so said our High Council speaker on Sunday. It's not like text messaging (that's what I'm telling myself).
I'm still having dreams, every so often, about that bestie who's dropped out of my life.
I mean, yeah, I still miss her. But ... well, in my dreams, she's always ignoring my presence or trying to actively avoid me. And, usually, I find her and tell her point blank that I still love her, that I miss her, that I hope for the best for her.
They're not the most happy-making of dreams. But, at the same time, I'm not sobbing or irate or whatever else when I wake up. So ... yeah.
I'm enjoying my new class of students (in church, you usually change classes based on your birth year. So, I have all the students who are starting 2016 as 12- or 13-year-olds. I had a lot of students (all but one, actually) during that last quarter of 2015 who had or would turn 14 before January 1st.
I miss my old class, yes ... but I'm having fun getting to know a new bunch (and making sure that I get everyone's names right).
The Sunday before (being the 10th), tradition continued ... in that I had another adult join my class (usually for observation. It's enough to make a girl nervous!). So far, I've had our Ward Sunday School President (who's a friend, so that's not so nerve-wracking), the STAKE PRESIDENT (a little more nerve-wracking, though I know him and I know that he's not scary ... You make a joke about going onstage in your nudie-pants, and realize that the Stake Prez is in the room and HAD to have heard you ... and you apologize ... and he tells you that it's okay ... Yeah, one has to admit to oneself that he's not going to be shocked by anything else you do. So that's out of the way. Yay?), a friend who was visiting your ward for the day (I practically dragged her to class, so I happily brought that upon myself), the bishop, one of the members of the bishopric, ... and now the STAKE SUNAY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (who I didn't know at all).
So that was kind of ... nerve-wracking.
But he said that I did fine.
In fact, my Ward Sunday School Prez reported to me on Sunday that (1) he didn't have anyone lined up to observe my class (That's fine. I told him. Next week. It's tradition!) and (2) that Brother ___ was impressed with my teaching.
So, that's nice. Because Brother ____ sure didn't have to say that. ^_^
I guess it's a good thing that I brought a handout for the class. And that I printed up strips with the scriptures to read on them. And that I tell my students about great resources to help their scripture study. Because if there's one thing I love (besides the gospel, since I do love it bunches. And my family, ditto), it's books. Or knowledge available on the interwebz.
I know there's more to report about. but my hands are tired of typing. I'll do more later.
But sooner than a month from now.