Sittin' in mah robe, yeah ... so, so classy

What, what? I'm blogging without at least a WEEK going by between posts?!??

Craaaaazy-sauce ...

So, I blogged last on, what, Friday?

There hasn't been tons of stuff since then, really.

But I figured that I should blog.
My dreams are starting to get back to "normal" levels of weird (Thanks, Mother Nature! Glad to see you headed off again! Between the acne, insomnia, irrational emotions, and the CRAZY-BUTT dreams, I'm always glad when I return to not having a uterus that's sloughing off that layer. ... Of course, funny (TMI) thing: for a couple years, when they kids would ask what was wrong and I'd tell them that I was on my period, Bucket would crow, "You're PREGNANT?!???" "NO. NO. NOT pregnant. The opposite." And then I'd have to give them a pared-down (but still slightly-horrifying-if-you-think-about-it) version of what exactly goes on in a woman's uterus.

Yes, I've been pretty upfront with my kids about their bodies. I haven't yet gone through the DETAILS of sexytimes or anything (I refer to it, when talking to them, as "sex or sexual intimacy"). ... because, well, I'd rather that they ask me for THAT INFO when they're ready to hear it.

(Says the girl who read the encyclopedia entry about sex when she was six. "Mom, did you know the encyclopedia has bad words in it?!?? They say "penis" and "vagina!" ... Yeah, there's another reason why I use the clinical terms (mostly) when dealing with body parts. Don't get me wrong, I say butt and "frontbottom" and "dainty bits" and "boobs" and all that, too. but I make sure that my offspring are aware what things are really called.)

So, yes, my kids have heard (yes, even Bruise) the info that women have a layer of blood that lines the uterus JUST IN CASE an egg is fertilized, so it can implant and turn into a baby.

In other things I talk to my kids about -- we've talked about pornography (and avoiding it. Or what to do when they DO come across it), homosexuality (and that people who are gay or lesbian are still children of God and we need to love THEM. We don't have to approve of anyone's ACTIONS, but we are all more than our actions, so just freaking love everyone, OKAY?!?? ... Seriously, I don't get how folks do anything else. Weirdos ... who obvs need more hugs.), gun safety, sexual abuse (i.e., don't let people touch you against your will. And, if they do, TELL US. Daddy and I will ENSURE that they are dealt with. In a way that we won't end up in prison. And that their doctor will need to check out their private parts, but that if it makes them really uncomfortable, speak up. And, if anyone DOES ever do something, that's on THEM. It's not the survivor's fault. Seriously. Look in the Handbook for the Church. And, no matter what, you're never so far gone that the Atonement cannot help/heal you. Use it. And we'll still love you no matter what.), and abortion (We believe that it's taking a life. But there are a few times when it could be permissible [mother's or baby's life in peril OR due to rape/incest, which would be because someone overpowered the now-mother's agency ... Don't do it as a convenience because one wants to avoid consequences for one's choice -- that also counts for the guy who impregnates a woman. If you can't handle being a dad, don't ... ahem ... go through the motions. Get it? If you're not ready to be a mom, make another choice. Go play mini-golf or something. Because there's no birth control (other than abstinence) that's 100% effective. ... But, if you find yourself pregnant, there's support and help. Things happen. And it's not like anyone can get pregnant on their own. So we should all be a little more understanding. Everyone should understand that because there ain't NO ONE on earth right now who IS perfect. ...)

Okay, SO, that's a lot more than anyone really cared to know about my mothering methods.

But, yeah, I guess I should outline my main parenting goals:

1. Raise self-sufficient offspring:
   My kids need to know not just how to pass tests and binge-watch Netflix, but how to run a house, create and stick to a budget, cook, clean, schedule a doctor/dentist visit, and deal with the myriad emergencies that life will send them.
2. Raise spiritually-prepared offspring:
   They will need to have their OWN testimony and to be able to feel and recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I'd prefer that they learn from the mistakes of all who've gone before them so that they don't have to learn all the hard life's lessons on their own.
3. Raise offspring who know where to go for answers:
   Let's face it, I know that I'm not always going to be around. And, heck, I don't know even HALF of the answers. (Heck, I hardly even know the QUESTIONS in the first place.)
   I want Bruise, Bucket, Bubbles (and and others who may ever come along, if there ARE any) to know HOW to research and find information. And, for what they can't find on The Google, I want them to know how to research in BOOKS and through PRAYER and by asking OTHER PEOPLE for advice ... and to be able to compile it all to find the best answer for them.
4. Raise well-adjusted offspring:
   I know, when they come from such odd folks as their dad and me, this is a challenge.
   But my goal is that they can be COMPASSIONATE and caring and kind; that they can handle when life isn't always fun or easy.
5. Raise good citizens:
   If there's a bad law, I want them to go about peacefully and lawfully to make the changes that need to happen. I want them to be involved and to know what's going on -- so they CAN help be a force for good. I want them to have a desire to (and the motivation to carry it out) help others. 
6. Raise joyful offspring:
   I want them to be able to appreciate the good things, to have that attitude of gratitude. I want them to be able to find joy and peace in everyday things, to find CONTENTMENT. I want them to be able to see the beauty in a sunset, the waves of the ocean, a baby's laugh ... and to be able to share that happiness with all whom they come in contact with.
7. And I want them to use good grammar, too. And have marketable skills. And to only have the barest amount of sorrow that will allow them to recognize joy, the merest modicum of stress, fear, and anger so they can KNOW when they have peace ...
8. I want them to have cars that never break down, a bank account that covers all their needs without any overdrafts or debt, bodies that always work as desired and fit into whatever fashions they like best COMFORTABLY, a house where others are glad to gather, friends who are always loyal and honest, AND A PONY (or whatever else they want).

Yeah, I don't care if they're doctors or Nobel Prize winners ... but I want them to be happy, healthy, kind, intelligent, content, wise ... If they all want to be circus performers, that's fine, as long as they can all make enough to support themselves and their families (and maybe their parents ... in the lifestyle in which we'd like to become accustomed, ha ha ha).

Okay, I've blathered on about mostly nothing for long enough.
I should go get more laundry done, clean the hall bathroom and the kitchen (don't worry, I'll wash my hands between those two!), get a shower, read a book, and a million other things that all should BE done. Good times, right?

If I had a post's title ... Well, it'd be here ...

I have been EXHAUSTED the last couple days.

No, I'm not pregnant (DAWN.)
(For those of you wondering why I have that parenthetical remark, THIS parenthetical remark will explain that my friend, Dawn, will always jump to asking/hoping that her friends are with child. She once started a rumor that I was preggo-my-Eggo on my Facebook wall with her usual guess. I still love her. Even though it was a tricky situation diffusing that rumor. While people are CONGRATULATING me on having something in my uterus that I didn't have at all. :P ... Good times, good times.)

I don't know why I've been so ... well, no, I do have an idea...

• Tuesday night/morning, Bruise and Bucket woke up around FOUR AM(!!!) to go to the bathroom. They were VERY noisy and then Bucket thought the bathroom door was locked and freaked out (It wasn't. She didn't even end up USING the bathroom!). Michael took care of it. But I woke up and was awake for a while.
• Bubbles isn't consistently sleeping through the night ... but she's getting better. For the most part.
  Still, most nights I do wake up at least once to feed her. Sometimes twice.
• This morning, I woke up EXHAUSTED ... thinking that it was an hour later than it was. Stupid sunlight. Stupid Daylight Savings. It was nice not having to LEAP out of bed ... and I did manage to get a good deal done by the time the kids needed to get out to the bus stop. Phew!

Speaking of, this is what I did this morning:

• Woke up. Went back to doze for a little.
• Fed Bubbles.
• Made the kids' lunches
• Called their school so I could write a check for the balance of their hot lunch accounts (Since tomorrow's the last day to have a balance). Wrote that check. Bruise is entrusted to take it to the office.
• Got Bubbles out of my bed.
  Changed her diaper ... She had a blow out.
  Her hair was all gross at the back (sweat, drool, and milk), so she got a bath and a cute outfit.
  Brought her out to the living room to play.
• Got the kids' homework folders filled and had them put them in their backpacks.
  Got their reading logs put in there, too.
  And Bucket's reading homework.
• Jumped in the shower with less than twenty minutes to get ready to take the kids to the bus.
  Showered, shaved my underarms, brushed teeth, combed hair, got dressed, put on makeup (light foundation, concealer, blush, eyeliner, some eyeshadow, mascara, lip gloss, and powder).
• Put on flip-flops (Remember when we used to call THOSE thongs? Oh, the good, ol' days.) and my Moby wrap. Grabbed my phone. Logged Bubbles' morning activities (diaper, bath, vitamins) ... and headed out the door!

Oh, and I did a little Draw Something before calling the school.

Aaaaaaand now I've just put Bubbles down for a nap. Yeah, I'm not making the Volunteer Breakfast at the kids' school. I'm already late ... I fed Miss Bubbles once we got home. And ... yeah. Just not making it. Oh well.

Yesterday was overall good. Just tiring.
I woke up, ate the leftover Chicken Tikaa and coconut rice for breakfast (leftovers? Yum!!) and drank some water. Put on my Moby ... and got the kids to the bus. Then I drank some more water and loaded up Bubbles into her carseat.
Why would I do all that?
Because I was donating blood!

My iron is back to great. 13.6, I think. The normal, healthy range for women is 12.1-15 ... so I fall in the upper middle. Yay!
And I filled up my bag really fast.
I felt fine. Not at all dizzy or clammy.
Just like I really, really, REALLY wanted a nap.

I wore Bubbles in my Moby. Facing out while I answered questions ... and she got fussy. Then I turned her so she was all snug. And she fell asleep and drooled on my shoulder while I lay down to fill up a bag.

She did get quite a bit of attention.
"There's a baby! Did you see?" "Yes!"
"Oh!! A Baby!! We don't usually get to see babies here much!!"

Yup, she is a bit of a conversation starter. ^_^

So, our library's Summer Reading Program starts tomorrow.
And the kiddos have a dental check-up ... which might explain part of my dream last night.

In my dream, my lower teeth were a little more wonky than in real life (not to brag, but my teeth are pretty straight. Straight enough that dental hygienists have asked if I've had braces. Which I haven't. I do have two crooked-ish teeth right in front on the bottom, but they're not very bad.) ... The lateral incisor (yes, I had to look it up) was pushing the central incisor OUT of the gum.
THEN the canine AND that pesky lateral insicor got chipped. Badly enough that my canine was off down to the gum.
(And I'm losing my dental insurance tomorrow in real life. Fun.)
So ... yeah. There I am with THREE problem teeth. One that's rotating out of the gum, one sheared down to the gumline, and one that's all sharp and broken.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!?!???

I also dreamed that I missed one of my besties' birthdays. It was the day after.
Michael and I were at a toy shop, and they had these cute book-like cards. And books ... The Free Comic Book Day issues of the Serenity comic were in bags that started at a thousand dollars. Very depressing.

I was going to get T (my bestie) a card. But which one? And I should get her a present! Like a DVD! But I hadn't seen her for a while ... and I don't know which DVDs she already HAS or which ones she doesn't have and would really like! VERY SAD AND STRESSFUL!

So, yeah, I should totally call her. In a half hour or so, since she told me once, with her job, never to call before ten. But, that WAS before her son started school ... Still ... I'll stick to it until she tells me differently. ^_^

So, yeah.
To sum up, I'm a crazy-dream-having, Moby-wearing, blood-donating fool.
Who's really, really tired.

Aftermath

The kids were caught up on shots ... except for their flu shot.
There was no record of a current flu shot.

So, Bruise cried ... then, as he hopped off the table, gasped, "That didn't hurt. Only a little!"

Bucket ... screamed in my ear.

They're both healthy ... they'll never be the biggest kids for their age. But their percentiles are consistent. Nothing to worry about.

And library books are turned in.

I also was reading the handbook for their school.
There is no standard that must be met for cold lunches ... so, more proof that the cafeteria helper overstepped her bounds.

Nice to get even MORE validation.

I'm ready for a nap. As little girlie-fetus is turning somersaults in utero. Silly girlie.
(Also, I had to take my anti-nausea pill this morning. I didn't throw up ... but my body was sure trying to. Just wasn't bringing up anything. Not even the water I had drunk shortly before. Crazy body.)

Bruise and Bucket's Fifth Birthday Party EXTRAVAGANZA!!!! (Part Two -- The CAKES!)

(If you find yourself bored by all the talking, just jump down. There are pictures. I won't be offended. Promise!)

We try and let the kids choose each year what kind of cake they want.

Bucket and Bruise have known for a couple MONTHS how they wanted their cakes decorated: Hello Kitty and Captain America's shield, respectively.

I also ask for their input on what kind of CAKE they want. You know, chocolate, yellow, pink, white ...

I think that Bucket's opted for a Funfetti (white with rainbow sprinkles) nearly every year!

Friday morning, I realized that Bruise still hadn't decided on a cake flavor! And the party was tomorrow! And I needed to bake his cake today!! (So we could decorate it after getting home from another party!!)

I wasn't WORRIED, per se. I can (and do, on occasion) bake cakes from scratch. I actually prefer to. It's not like they're HARD or anything. If you have all the ingredients. And I try to ALWAYS have ingredients on hand for basic things.

"So, Bruise," I asked him. "What kind of cake do you want?"

"CAPTAIN AMERICA'S SHIELD!" He declared.

"... Yeah, I know that. ... But what KIND of cake do you want? To eat ... Chocolate? White? What?" I pressed.

And then ... then he said...

Those fateful words ...

"I want a BLUE cake."

"Oh. Okay ..."

And then I had to find a way to make my firstborn son a blue cake.

So, I did what any loving mother would do.

I turned to THE GOOGLE.
And I was inspired to Google "Blue Velvet Cake."
Since a RED Velvet cake is a real cake. I've even eaten it before.
Maybe a BLUE Velvet Cake really existed.

And *ding-ding-ding*, IT DID!
Paula Deen has made one! And so have some other bloggers!
So, I printed out a recipe (Not Paula Deen's. Hers was my second choice) and got to work.

I mixed up the boxes of Bucket's Funfetti cake and baked those in my GIANT glass dish.

Then I started mixing stuff for Bruise's Blue Velvet Cake ... and I used EVERY. LAST. DROP. of blue food coloring in the batter (so Michael and I had to run by the store on our way back home that night so we'd have coloring to make the frostings).

And it was a BLUE CAKE. (It could have been blue-er ... but it made my Bruise-boy a happy little man. Which is what I strive to do.)

Of course, Michael had requested that I bake Bruise's cake in the springform pan, to make its removal easier, so Michael could decorate it.

(NOTE TO SELF: Put the springform pan ON a cookie sheet. When the batter is first in there, it's not firm enough to stay in there on its own. So, yeah, I got to clean my stove later. But it was just a minor failing. It DID turn out fine in the end. ... I learn this by experience so YOU don't have to. You're welcome. :P)

SO, after Michael and I got home and put the kiddos to bed, we got to work decorating the cakes.

Bucket's was rather easy. I frosted it with storebought frosting (Vanilla, of course). I BAKE the cakes, Michael decorates. It's a system that works well for us. (He doesn't get as easily frustrated as I do. And he's tapped into all that artistic talent. Bucket does NOT get it from me. I can't take credit for it at all. *sigh*)

Michael put a crumb coat of homemade cream cheese frosting on the trimmed blue cake. Then I just had to add food coloring to storebought cream cheese frosting so Michael could pipe (and smooth) the stripes and the center circle.

And I also got the bright idea (I call it TOTAL INSPIRATION) to make marshmallow fondant (which, it so happens, is really easy. I should know. I never made it before. And it IS really super easy).

The fondant became a star, a bow, and a little yellow nose.

Of course, my hands were stained with blue and yellow spots. And then looked like I committed some foul murder from all the red coloring that I kneaded into the white fondant. (Hello Kitty's bow was more PINK than RED ... but Bucket was still VERY happy. Phew!!)

I used a cookie cutter for the star. I freehanded the nose. Michael had to do the bow.

When I start cussing a la Firefly ("GORRAMIT!! Stupid piece of GUSSAH!" (No, I cannot spell it.), that's Michael's cue to shoo me away and make it look pretty.

We're such an awesome team. :P

But, within a couple hours, we had the piping done and fondant placed. Then we put the finished cakes in the other fridge (where there was room. And so the icing would firm up a bit.)

In the morning, the kids came out and peered over the counters to see their cakes.

I had cleaned up only a little (saving it for the morning, obviously. Since, thankfully, spending the last week or so cleaning the house DID get it into some semblance of order. Phew!) , they found only a little bit of our handywork on the counter.

On a plate were the trimmings from the blue velvet cake and three balls of colored fondant (red, white, and yellow).

"Is this our cake??" Bucket finally ventured.

"Yes, THAT is your cake." Michael quipped. (They say not to use sarcasm with your kids. But it is, on occasion, HILARIOUS.)

"... ... Wow." They said and looked QUITE disappointed.

Later, as I cleaned, I put the fondant and trimmings into the garbage. Bruise walked in and, aghast, gasped, "Mom??!? Why did yoo put my cake in da GAH-BAGE???"

I laughed. (I COULDN'T HELP IT!) And I told him that THAT wasn't his cake. His cake was fine and was somewhere else.

And we brought the cakes out before guests started coming.

And the kiddos were pleased.

Here they are, in all their epicurious glory!!

*drumroll, please!*

...

...

...

Voila!

Bruise's Captain America's Shield

Bucket's Hello Kitty
(modeled after a REALLY CUTE laptop sleeve.)

Witness the blue interior!!

When you turn five years old, it's MANDATORY to have cake for breakfast, right?

Okay, okay, so it was WAFFLES for breakfast.
Cake was for lunch.

No, I'm not joking.
(Sorry, Michael! You still love me, right? It's what they WANTED for lunch! And it was their BIRTHDAY!)

Blearing awake ... to blog

So, where did we leave off, really?

Tuesday? Yes, Tuesday afternoon is where I need to pick back up. *sigh*
Jenny and I went for a walk around the park while Bruise and Bucket played.
And that was cut short due to two factors (Jenny's young'un was getting cranky ... and Bucket HIT A LITTLE BOY IN THE HEAD. *headdesk*) ... I put her in timeout as soon as the other moms around told me, while Jenny and I did a last lap, and then it was MANDATORY NAPTIME after she SCREAMED and CRIED and WHINED  for me to carry her all the way home.  *martyr look to the heavens* ... Not that she TOOK that d*** nap. And Heaven knows she NEEDED it...

And I needed to drive some folks out to the church in the next town  for Roadshow practice. I'm glad that I had another adult in the car, since I always get lost trying to find the church building in that town. (I don't go out east that way a whole lot. Especially since I can't afford chiropractic care. But my chiropractor out there is GREAT! ... Of course, I know a really good new one in the next town to the west, too. Not that I've ben able to afford to see him, but I've known him for years. ^_^)
SO, as I was saying, I started dinner ... and it ended up burning the crap out of itself after I left and Michael was talking to Miss Bucket-girl about why she hit the boy at the park (Because she did't want him to go down the slide and he did it anyway. NOT A GOOD REASON.)

Then, of course came storytime that I missed.
I teased Michael about it:
"So, Hon, I bet you read the title 'Bluebeard' and thought, 'Hey! A PIRATE story!'"

"Yes, pretty much," he admitted. "I mean, I REMEMBERED that he wasn't a really nice guy ... but I didn't remember the story much. And then it just kept getting worse and worse ... and I kept waiting for a moral. And there wasn't one. So I just finished with, 'That's kind of a HALLOWEEN story!'"

"Well, at least the kids didn't have nightmares. ... Still, honey!"

"Hey, it was right there in between Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella!! I didn't think it'd be that bad!"

*I think for a sec* "Ohhhhh .... it's a Perrault retelling, huh?" *laughs* "... I'll bet you're impressed I figured that out without thinking ."

And, yes, readers he was.
Of course, I do have to admit to being very well-acquainted with fairy tales, especially with this volume of fairy tales. I bought a set of Collier's The Junior Classics at a used bookstore years ago. Because my mom has a set. and I love it so. I grew up reading it. Primarily Volume One: Fairy Tales and Fables. They're sorted by country, just for your information.

Yes, I am a bit of a fairytale geek. Especially Grimm's Fairy Tales.
No wonder I'm sooooooo remarkably well-adapted. (/ sarcasm)

After storytime Wednesday, we did the usual -- McDonald's and I volunteered. Bucket behaved herself at the park while Mom watched her and Bruise.

Then I came home and we ran errands. We picked up stuff with the wonderful coupons that I had from Bath and Body Works (Bruise especially loves the Peppermint Twist fragrance). I picked up yarn to make my hat for Halloween (I started yesterday! I'm maybe 1/7 done. Phew!!), we went to Costco (where Bucket kept asking us to buy her a toy. No. She already got spoiled by the library ladies.) and then home to make dinner before Michael had to leave for his meeting.

So, Bucket got a little purse that was left and never claimed from the library's lost and found. And she wanted it to be JUST. LIKE. A. BIG. GIRL'S. ... So we put her Barbie compact (mirror and comb) in it. And a Hello Kitty lip gloss. And a little nail file. And a travel-sized tube of lotion. And one of Michael's old insurance cards. Mom gave her a Pocket-Bac from Bath and Body Works, too ... As we got gas at Costco, she piped up from the backseat, "I need a phone for my purse!!"
As Mom and giggled, I told her that she could use her Cinderella cell phone that is in her box at home.
(She's FOUR. She doesn't need a cell phone. Not a real one.)

(And, seriously, it's ADORABLE how much Bruise LOVES the B&BW Twisted Peppermint scent. He kept bringing up candles and testers of that scent to smell. How cute is he?? And he's being REALLY sparing with his Pocket-Bac. As opposed to Miss Bucket, who used hers up in 24 hours. ^_^)

Thursday, the kiddos had their doctor's appointment. Dr. R told me that they're VERY HEALTHY KIDS. (Phew!) And the kiddos did warm up to Dr. R (they haven't seen him for almost two years. Oops!) finally.
He is a really great guy. I'm glad he's the kids' pediatrician. ^_^

Then the kids had FIVE SHOTS EACH. (I opted to get their flu shot done and out of the way at the same time. I'm such a sadist.)
Bruise was brave ... he barely whimpered for the first two. The last three? He was crying and needed a snuggle. Poor dude.
Bucket? Started crying before the first needle touched her. I really can't help but laugh. But I did try to help them both, holding their hands and talking them through breathing through the pain.
And my mom was there to help and to supply Tootsie pops. And I nabbed stickers for them on the way out.

I was supposed to have a Stake Young Women's meeting last night. So I got dinner ready (something that couldn't burn. This time) and got dressed. Then I checked the online calendar, since I hadn't received an email about the meeting ... and it obviously got cancelled. YAAAAAAY!!!!
(I hate going to meetings. I am selfish with my time. I'll admit it. I'd rather be at home, putting my kiddos to bed.)
Of course, since the kiddos refused to nap earlier, they both conked out before we finished our chapter of Harry Potter.

And, that's really about it for now ...

Oh, and I "fixed" a friend's computer. Her web browser wouldn't load YouTube videos or run Pandora ... I was suddenly inspired and updated Java and Adobe Shockwave Flash ... EUREKA!! Yes, I don't often feel inspired, so I HAD to share. ^_^ Now, if you know of some good freeware DVD decoder, so she can watch dvds on her computer, that'd be AWESOME. (Windows Media Player isn't doing it. Bollocks, huh?)

About my week ... About a week ...

Okay, so it's Monday. And I really blogged last Tuesday ... so what's gone on ... Can _I_ even remember?

Wednesday, Mom came up. As is usual. And totally welcome. We took the kids to swim lessons and then to the library for storytime, then to McDonalds ... where we had another less-than-stellar encounter with their peers.

It wasn't ALL bad. There was one little girl, about the kids' age, who enjoyed playing with them. However, there was a group of older boys. Maybe ten? And they were all there with one lady. Who was much more interested and involved with her iPhone (or whatever), complete with earbuds popped in, texting away, than in keeping an eye on the play structure.

Bucket came to us crying. Because the boys had laughed at her.
Yes, she HAS inherited my skin (soft as rose petals and just as thin. Even metaphorically. *sigh*).

They laughed at her because she told them that she was four. At least, that's all we could get out of her.
Still, NOT COOL. Making kids cry? NOT COOL. Not well-played.

Later, the boys decided that a portion of the playplace was THEIRS -- Their fort or whatever. They weren't letting the other ... um ... twelve or so kids in it or around it at all.

So Mom and I (with out background in education showing) got up and  ... well, Mom handled it later.
I took care of this time.
Using the stern teacher voice (aka "Mess with me and I'll make your life a living Hell where the angels will weep for you AND I'll call your parents" tone), I told them that  ... how exactly did I put it ... Oh well, I was a little caught up and pretty much told them to play nicely and SHARE or to get out.
Yes, I was pretty fed up. Kids were crying  ... and these kids were big enough NOT to need to be taking over the playplace at McDonald's. If they needed to be bullies, they could go to the mall or down to LA or something. I had had enough.

Later, when they were acting up again (and this isn't just to Bruise and Bucket. We try and look out for the other littles, too), Mom was the one who told them to behave.
And their mom (or whatever, since I think that at least one of the boys wasn't from that litter) barely looked up from her phone. *sigh*

Some children's parents. *rolls eyes*

And, yes, I do talk to Bruise and Bucket about NOT SCREAMING in the playplace. They're generally pretty good about playing nicely with others. But, oh my, INSIDE VOICE is not a concept they're learning very easily. *sigh*

Then I volunteered at the library as Mom took the kiddos to the park to play ... and they came in a bit early since the transients around the park decided to have a top-of-the-lungs profanity match. As children were playing. Mom had left her phone in the car -- or she'd have called the police to get the guys calmed down. (I told her that, if it ever happens again, she could come to the front desk at the library and call. They'd help her out.)

Then, the kids watched the magician for the Summer Reading program.
HE HAD A BUNNY. (Can you tell what I REALLY liked?)

(THE BUNNY. Such a nice bunny. And pretty. And sedate. ... I kinda want a bunny.)

Then we picked up some groceries and went home and made dinner.
And had ice cream cake to celebrate my Mom's birthday.

She's 29 now. We're the same age. Isn't it swell????
(Of course, about ten years ago, someone asked my aunt  -- Mom's younger sister -- if Mom and I were her daughters. :S)

And I had Mom bleach some more highlights in my hair. At first, I felt VERY like Sweeney Todd -- you know, that stark white streak against the dark hair?
I overall like it ... but I ... Well, I think that within a month or so, I'll just go platinum and get it over with. ^_^

It's just hair ... and I am having fun with it.

 .... Oh, at storytime Wednesday, Bruise was on my lap. I had rearranged the Jibbitz on his Crocs. He had me take the Jolly Roger one off his shoe. He was holding it and I really didn't want him to lose it. I asked him to give it to me.

"Say da magic word!"
"Um ... what?"
"Say da magic word!!"
"...Please?"
"No. Dat's not it."
" ... Thank you?"
"No."
"Abracadabra?"
"Not it."
" ... What's the magic word?"
"Erff."
"Earth??"

And he handed it right over.

Yeah ... That's almost as good as him running around the other day with a water pistol, "Kill shot!!! Kill shot!!!!"

... I think I figured it out. On one of the shows they watch, the DVD has one of the previews for "Date Night" (with Steve Carell and Tina Fey), and Steve Carell's character does that bit about, "Oh no! He turned the gun! That's a kill shot! Kill shot!!!!" ... I'm pretty sure THAT'S where THAT came from.

Yup, this is what excellent parenting looks like. Yup. Totally made of awesome. Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss.

Thursday .... what happened Thursday? Mom left after we got back from swim lessons. She and I did some online shopping and got some good deals online. Some clothes for the kids (Christmas!) and some new shoes (for me! Sandals!!) ... and some shirts since Shade Clothing's going out of business. At least until the economy is better.

I was starting to feel kinda puny. Scratchy and itchy throat.

Wished Mom a happy birthday. Unlike on Wednesday ... when I wished her a "Happy Your-Mother's-Labor Day!" ... Sometimes I wonder why anyone puts up with me ...

It's because I'm just so, so special. That must be it.

Michael and I watched Chuck in the evening . We got through Season 2 now. Chuck is an awesome show. Just sayin'.

Friday, I drove Michael to work 9kids came with), went home, got the kids ready for swim lessons. After swim lessons, we came home and packed up  ... then we headed back to pick up Michael. Then we drove down to visit family.

I had taken an allergy pill ... but just felt pretty miserable. I slept a bit on the way down. And was thoroughly crabby when I woke up (the kids were being SO loud).

We visited with Nana -- and she gave me two bags of cough drops.
We visited with Dad and L ... who also gave me cough drops and some money to buy medicine.

The kids and I did play in Dad and L's pool. L got some cute pictures and complimented my swimsuit. I didn't get very wet. Mostly just my legs. The pool was only about two feet deep.

We went to Mom and Cecil's. After dinner, I was really feeling poorly, so I went and laid down. I was feeling REALLY cold, hunkering in the blankets with my jeans and a long-sleeved shirt on, so Michael gave me his socks. I was running a fever. FUN. And I slept on and off for at least an hour, until the kids came to bed (turning on the light, being noisy ... the usual). Mom read them their bedtime story, since my voice was pretty much dead, and we all went to sleep.

I think that I slept and sweated out the worst of the bug, since when I woke up, I did feel much better.
Mom had me do a couple Nebulizer treatments Saturday, and Cecil gave me a bottle of cough syrup.
The kids watched cartoons, played, and waded in the pool at Mom's.

After an early dinner, we headed back home. And stopped by Walgreen's where I picked up saline solution packets for my Neti pot ... since using the Neti pot helps a LOT. (I also picked up deodorant and ... guilty pleasure ... DCT (Daily Contitioning Treatment) Blistex lip balm. I LOVED it when I was in high school. I thought that they'd stopped making it. I saw it at Walgreen's a couple months ago. And, hey, I'm sick. And part of being sick is having nasty, dry lips. And it was SO worth it. I love this gloss.)
(No, Blistex doesn't know me from Adam.  I haven't received any free products or kickbacks or anything .... though, hey, if they'd LIKE to send me swag, I'd totally accept. I love lip schmear!!)

When we got home, we discovered that ants had totally taken over the kitchen counter. GROSS. So I went all nuclear on them with the OrthoMax spray (Hey, it's MY version of chemical warfare!! And this weekend, dude, those ants are gonna GET it. We're bombing under the house. They're going DOWN. And I don't mean to the corner store. We're so gonna bring it. And I don't mean a hostess gift.)

(Can you tell that I'm a little loopy from having to catch my breath from coughing and from the DayQuil I downed a couple hours ago? Yeah ... THIS is yet another reason I don't drink or do drugs. I get buzzed from DAYQUIL!!! This is so stupid!)

Sunday, Michael sat on the stand (and had early meetings) so I managed to get everything together for taking the kids to church, [trying] not to hack my lungs out throughout church, and teach the lesson to the Beehives (the 12-13 year-olds' class) during the last hour.

Good thing I was feeling better ... ^_^

The kids SAID that they'd take a nap after church.

LIE.

Oh well.

This morning, I let the kids watch shows until I could roll out of bed (sleeping off the shot of NyQuil from last night) and then I got dressed and ready.
Thankfully, the kids were already in their swimsuits for class, so I just had to do up Bucket's hair. And I still had 30 minutes to spend on Facebook and STILL get to class on time.

(Unlike Thursday, where we were ALMOST late. Oops. Lost track of time!)

The kids had another instructor today. She's good with the class. (The other regular student showed up again. Phew! I was worried that maybe kids were dropping out or something. And this other munchkin-girl is GOOD. Tiny thing, but she LOVES swimming.) ... Bruise and Bucket tell me that they like the guy-instructor best ... but I think this gal is good, too.

Then we came home and they watched a couple shows, had a snack, and played in their room. Which is now .... well ... trashed.

I'm trying to work up the motivation/energy to clean up. I need to dust and sweep, and put away laundry, and do a load of dishes ... and fix dinner ... and clean up their room. Or not.

And I dealt with a bit of a melt-down when we were leaving the Star Wars activity (arts & crafts and games) over at the local library. I managed to deal with that AND to get the kids into the library's book sale room. I paid eight dollars for:

• a DVD of "The Truth About Cats and Dogs"
• a paperback copy of "The Eight" which my Jonnie-Bean lent me ages ago and I very much enjoyed.
• a copy of "Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging" since it is HILARIOUS
• two hardback bilingual picture books for the kiddos. One's about ambulances. The other's about rescue boats.

Overall, not half bad at all for the library shop.

My aunt, this week, had to cut a trip to the coast short. She had an ingrown toenail that became infected. And, since she has Rheumatoid Arthritis, she doesn't heal quickly.
Yesterday, she had to go have the bandage changed .... and went to the ER.
I don't know what all has gone on since then, but there was talk last night about her toe being removed. There's blood poisoning and her bone is infected.

So ... if you could say a prayer (or, if that's not your bag, send her good wishes/thoughts/mojo or healing energies or whatever), I'd appreciate it.

Yeah ... I always have some kind of drama. 

-------------------

In completely unrelated news, I REALLY like the Trader Joe's Rooibos Chai. (Rooibos tea isn't TEA-tea ... it's a tisane. Like herbal tea ... and I LOVE chai!!!) ... You know the Oregon Chai concentrate? If you add plenty of honey and a splash of milk, this tea tastes just as good as the latte from concentrate. ^_^ Yum!

While having the plague (or whatever fresh Hell-type virus this is), a cup of Rooibos Chai latte does help. 

No, I'm not receiving anything for this. I had to PAY for my little box of tea from Trader Joe's. And the electricity to heat up the teapot (which we also bought ... years ago, after I accidentally melted the last two teapots that we had.), and the water bill, and the milk from the grocery store. And the jug of honey (also from the grocery store ... not the COOL honey from a family in our ward). Oh! And the SPOON with which I STIR my tea. 

Just for clarification. ^_^

I will report about the girly post -- No ingrown hairs or anything thus far. There are places where I've had to pluck a few hairs ... but nothing really terrible. I've read that once you wax a few times, you'll get to where the hair is all growing on the same cycle. And that would stop the need to pluck any areas. But I am enjoying not shaving. That's a big bonus. ^_^

Okay ... I can't think of anything more to write. I need to make dinner and clean the house. And go lay down or something. Sleep really is my drug of choice when I'm sick ... it's so cheap! I love that ... now, if only I didn't have to watch my kids ... :P And THAT's probably why I'm sick in the first place. Since I do try and be here and awake for them. (Since, even if I DO fall asleep around here, they don't let me sleep long -- if at all -- during their waking hours. *sigh*)

A post of many titles

This post could easily wear many titles, such as:

• In which sleep eludes me (since it's about 1:30 AM and I WENT to bed around 11).
• Why you shouldn't allow your four-year-old to eat a hot dog, two glasses of juice, five dinner rolls, two bowls of ice cream and apple crisp ... and THEN take them to the park right before bedtime.
• If my daughter throws up anymore, I have threatened to give her a suppository.
  (Yes, we DO have some. NO, this will NOT be the first time she's ever had one.
  NO, I'm NOT looking forward to administrating this dose.)
• I'm almost out of clean dishtowels.
• The curse of Saturday the 14th (since she managed to wait until almost midnight).
• The "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!!!! *HURK!*" -- Repeat every thirty minutes. At least three times.
• (Okay, that second time was due to a nightmare. THEN, she STILL threw up.)
• (The last puke was her lunch. Which confused me at first.)

So, yeah ... where did I leave off blogging? Oh, yes ... the great ant fiasco.

Joy.

Since then, I've still had odd dreams off and on. I'm not remembering them well enough to really report on them. However, the last doozy was Wednesday night -- One of my friends was working at an animatronic wax works ... and we got to sneak in (a LOT of us) after it closed. ... And you couldn't tell who was real and who wasn't. Parts of it, Michael told me, sounded a LOT like "Westernworld" ... But I don't think I've ever watched that before.

Still, it was strange and unsettling.

Tuesday, I spent cleaning up the house a bit. But mostly procrastinating.

Wednesday was the usual thing: Mom came up, went to storytime, (OH! Our books, mostly food storage and freezer meals, from Amazon came in. That was exciting!) took the kids to McDonald's, volunteered while the kids played at the park (The kids ate just about their WHOLE Happy Meals. BRUISE ATE ALL OF HIS!!!), we took them to the summer reading program (Legos this week), we bought them those big/wide pencils so they can practice their penmanship more easily, we went home and ordered pizza, Michael came home and didn't have an EQ meeting (but he did still have to go to a meeting later with Bishop), we watched SYTYCD ... That's it in a nutshell ...

Oh, and some young'un BIT THE CRAP out of my son's arm in the PlayPlace. Just about broke through the skin in a few places. 

Seriously, if I had lived about fifty years ago (when I wouldn't have gotten arrested for that sort of thing), I'd have climbed in there, extracted that three-or-so-year-old by his ear and dragged him over to his mom (chatting across the room and out of sight-line of her kid) BY HIS EAR and given him a good shake or two while fiercely intoning that "WE DO NOT BITE."

Hey, I'm a mama bear. You do NOT eff with my kids.

Good thing that my mom was there. While I sent hate-glares at the offender, she remarked that he seemed off ... like, perhaps, learning disabled or something.

Bruise got over it (and I slathered some hand sanitizer over the bite. Just in case) and went back to play with Bucket. They both were instructed to give Biter-Boy a wide berth.

Some people's children.
Some children's parents.

*sigh*

Thursday, we went to storytime as Mom headed home. Then we joined up with Katie and her crew of boys. We followed her to their new home where I got to touch up her new haircolor (She's got THICK hair. Thick enough that she NEEDS two bottles of dye. ... I'm trying not to be jealous. ^_^). Bucket and I got to play with her iPad. (It is nice. I just need some friend to let me play with their Droid now. Any volunteers?) The kids all played outside and then with the Wii in their family room.
After a tractor ride, we headed back to our place where I fed the kids and they went to nap without any arguments (AND THEY SLEPT!!) while I cleaned up in preparation for some high school friends to drop by.
Obviously, I must have the week wrong. Or they got busy. But, hey! The house was clean and the kids took a nap!!

Then I had to wake up the kids after a couple hours' nap so I could schlep them over to church for my RS meeting and Visiting Teaching interview.

Then we headed back home, where Michael was, fed the kids and put them to bed.
And watched the finale of SYTYCD. Truly, any of the top 3 (or even the top 4) could have won and I'd have been fine with any of the results.

......

Great, she threw up again.

The suppository went well. MUCH easier than I had anticipated. Having a bumoley that's a few years older (and larger. In a good way.) really helps. That and the fact that she's able to understand that this is medicine that will help her not throw up any more. *sigh*

I really did not /DO not want to be up at 2 AM ... but, hey, if she FINALLY falls asleep for realz this time, maybe I can, too.

----

Back to where I was ... Oh! That brings us up to what WAS today. And what is now, technically, YESTERDAY. *sigh*

Got up before Michael left for work. Let the kids eat yogurt while I worked at making sure they didn't mess up the house any. Thought about walking to the mall to do errands. Remembered that today's the start of our heatwave, so thought again. ^_^
Michael got home, so I gave him a haircut. We started dinner. We invited another family in our ward, one that we didn't know all that well. We made Chicken Parmesean, spaghetti alfredo, ceasar salad (from a bag), rolls, and hot dogs (for the kiddos).
The food turned out. ^_^ We ate and had fun while the kids ate and played. Then we walked to the park to get the kids all played out so they'd sleep.

(Famous last words in our case.)

Michael finished another disc of NCIS and we went to bed.

As soon as I fell asleep ---- "*scream/cry* MO-OOM!!!"
And, as we rushed into the kids' room, there's Bucket ... heaving her dinner all over the carpet.

We get her cleaned up, get the floor cleaned up, and head back to bed.

Half an hour later,  she screams for me again. Because, as she declares in her sleep-addled state, "I can't catch [Bruise]!" And she pukes a little more.

Another 30 minutes go by, I JUST manage to drift ........ and then ...... "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!"

I try not to burst into tears.

REPEAT of the vomitorium ... with bringing up Spaghettios from lunch (TMI, I'm sure. Hey, who's the mom who's lost hours of sleep?? Bear with me. This is stream of conciousness writing here at this point. You should be proud of the fact that I'm THIS coherent.).

Michael gives her a father's blessing as we have her hurk up anything else in her stomach into the toilet. Which gets clogged. AGAIN.
(I HATE that toilet. Really. I really, really hate that toilet. ... But, hey, at this point, using the plunger? I'm SO good at that.)

She's got her fun croup-y cough. We give her some DM cough syrup. Get her settled back in bed.

Michael grabs the wastebasket from our bathroom, empties it and puts it by her bed. Just in case.

I TRY to fall alseep. After ten minutes of LAYING THERE, trying (among things) to slow my heart-beat so it's not CRASHING IN MY EAR as my ear is on my pillow, to calm my brain with music -- playing memory of Claire de Lune, Moonlight Sonata, Ave Maria in my brain ... Nothing's working.

So I get up and come out here. Might as well blog, right?

Half an hour later .... "MO-OOOOOOOM!!!!!!"

Pukes into the trashcan, I get her to the bathroom for another sip of water. She has to pee. I get her there. Grab the suppository, do my best to cut the blasted thing in half. Get her situated over my lap, squirt some vaseline on her bumoley, and ... well, that went considerably better than when I'd do it on a changing table. ... I get her back to bed and situated with the trashcan. JUST IN CASE and come back to write and write and type and type this all out. *sigh*

My eyes hurt. My brain is still on FULL PANIC ALERT, though. And it's almost 2:30 AM ... 

I want to cry. But that would take energy. And it would make my eyes hurt more.

I also have to pee ... but that would require going back through the bedroom and maybe waking up Michael. Again. Since he did wake up when I got up out of bed ... He asked if there was anything wrong.

"No. I just can't sleep."
"Anything I can do to help?"
"No. I'm going to go to the computer. Thanks, though."

So, yeah. Just checking Facebook and blogging. 

Sleep is for the weak, right? 

My day ... let me show you it

Today I:

• woke up to tell my son to go back to bed because it was too early to get up. TWICE.
• made pancakes for my husband and children.
• made a stew in the Crock-Pot
• Somehow hurt my finger doing that ... I held the knife incorrectly and, somehow, gave myself a blister/split/thing. And it doesn't feel good.
• Michael took the kids with him so he could have the oil changed in the truck
• Which gave me some free time ... to browse the internet, check email and Facebook, and correct a bit on a flyer for Young Women's.
• I took a shower and got dressed.
• We went and picked a total of five pounds of blueberries (the kids each had a coupon for one pound of u-pick blueberries for free from one of their summer reading programs).
• Bruise ate him pound before we got back home.
• I rejoiced in the fact that I don't have to change his diaper. :P
• We went to Borders where I bought a book and a friendship bracelet kit 
• (No, I HAVEN'T GROWN UP. What????)
• We also used coupons to get each of the kids a glitterball for free. Bucket's is larger and full of iridescent strips. Bruise's is small and lights up when bounced.
• Bucket fell IN TOTAL LOVE with a Hello Kitty travel activity set. 
• We stopped by the mall to let Bruce look at Legos.
• Bucket and I went to Bath and Body Works so we could each use a coupon to get the new Dark Kiss travel-sized lotion. (Having children = free labor and ability to use that second coupon. ^_^ Wish I had thought of it when I was getting the free travel-size of Forever Sunshine a couple months ago. At least, I'll know that I can do it next time. ^_^ ... And, yes, I will share with her. ^_^)
• Bruise settled on some Star Wars Legos. He has his own rocket ship now. 
• Don't ask me which one it is.
  Ask Michael. He could tell you.
• I realized that I REALLY wanted fresh bread with dinner.
• So I made these skillet rolls.
  Since I don't have a skillet that's oven safe, I used a glass pie plate. It worked fine
  They were delicious
• The stew turned out really well, too.
• I finally found the bay leaf.
  In my ... um ... third bowl of stew.
• I felt the NEED to blog ... especially since I know that my Brooke will get on my case if I forget too often.
  ESPECIALLY since I helped convince her to start blogging again so I'd have a good example to follow. ^_^ She's kept her part of the bargain, so I can't slip up, either. ^_^

I think that's just about everything.

The party report

So, I went completely sick in the head over cleaning my house ... meaning that it was pretty darn close to spotless. Or as close as I get.

I even cleaned the master bathroom. JUST IN CASE. And we stayed up to fold the mountain of laundry in our room. JUST IN CASE.

Friday, we went to the zoo. It was SO COLD. Cold enough that a good deal of the animals were inside, sleeping where it was warm. But, on the bright side, it was nearly deserted. Which was great due to my emotional state (Dear Mother Nature, I hate you. Smoochies! Signed, Allanna.) ... And the tiger was out, walking around, which was nice.

Then we went to the party for my Roxy's youngest daughter, since she's born three days before Bruise and Bucket. Good times. Pizza, pinata, cartoons, Sunny Delight ... My kids did NOT want to go home. But, alas, we HAD to ... Michael and I still had to make their cakes for THEIR party.

Bruise asked for a chocolate cake with a Decepticon symbol on it. He also wanted it to be a round cake. Thank goodness for my Pampered Chef round cake pans. I made his cake from scratch (but we used storebought frosting on that one. Except for the Decepticon. That was homemade buttercream. Dyed purple. Which is the hardest color to make, I think. I'm SO buying purple gel coloring for next year). It turned out well enough that my mother-in-law was raving about its texture! Go me!

Bucket's cake was made from a box -- Cherry Chip. Rectangle. With homemade pink sour cream frosting (which, together, taste pretty amazing), trimmed with storebought vanilla frosting and a few of MY little Disney princesses figurines (Belle, Ariel, Cinderella, Mulan, Aurora, and Pochahontas. Bucket was sad to learn that I don't have ANY Snow White figures. It saddens me, too.)

Michael took care of the decorating of the cakes. I did a crumb coat on Bucket's cake and made and colored the frostings (the ones that didn't come in jars). I think we got to bed by around 11:30 Friday night.

Saturday, we finished cleaning, Michael decorated the cakes, then we went to lunch with most of Michael's family.

When we got back, Mom (my mom) and Julie had arrived and had let themselves in. My dad and L (my, for all purposes, stepmom... if Oregon had common-law marriages, anyways. ^_^) were out, waiting in the truck. Oops! We were supposed to be home to let them in! I was very sorry about it, since Dad was obviously disappointed. But L told me to "get over it" since they hadn't had to wait very long at all. Phew!

One of Bruise and Bucket's friends, H, and one of his big sisters and his mom (whom I get to work with at church) were able to come as well. So that was fun. Of course, Bruise and Bucket's cousins were there. They had come in the morning with Michael's folks ... so it was an energetic party. Our children are very spoiled.

Some of the presents received:

• A bouncy horse
• Dress-up clothes (Bucket)
• A dress (Bucket)
• Money
• Legos (Bruise)
• Transformers (Bruise)
• DVDs - Mulan, Meet the Robinsons, The Fox and the Hound, and season two of Transformers: The Animated Series (with the cool, Manga-esque art. ^_^)
• Paints, smocks, and paper
• They each got an outfit (Bucket's has a purple shirt and pants, Bruise's has blue/gray camo pants and a Transformers shirt)

Really, my kids are spoiled. Michael and I got Bruise some Transformers cars (they don't transform, but they do have the corresponding Transformer on the bottom of the car.) and Bucket got a pair of hoop earrings, since she's had her piercings long enough to be able to wear them.

After most people went home, we waited around for C and A to come to trade cars with Michael's folks. During that time, Dad C helped me work on my computer. And, after C and A both got here, C helped us get it running.

(So, yes, you've read that right, I have a working computer again. I even have it loaded with most of the programs that I need on it and connected to the internet. I still need to get it connected to the external HD ... get the latest pictures of the kiddos transferred onto that.) ... Of course, I really do need a new monitor. This one's older than my BAYBEES ... and is showing it. The screen is ... wiggly and jumpy. So it's good that I'm not all that susceptible to motion sickness. Or I'd be BLUUUURGH-ing all over this keyboard. Ifkwim. Aityd.

So, yes. All in all, a good success. Phew!!

Now to gear up for the next one. 364 days until the next party, give or take. ^_^ I can do it.
(For someone who can talk easily with people, I really do seem to be a bit of an introvert now. I am still so tired after being social with so many people. Crazy, huh? But it's wonderful to have so much of the family together. I was so glad that my dad and L managed to come. ^_^)

And again with the apologies ...

Yes, it's been DAYS since I blogged.

Epic suck = me.

Here's the part where I make excuses:

• My mom came up and, truth be told, I have a very good time hanging with her ... so I tend to neglect you, my dears. You do know that I really do love you, right?
  But this is my MAMA. And I love to hang with her so!
• My mom helped me instigate the consequence of "the naughty chair" where little children who are not obedient or pleasant (especially those that are not EITHER) get to have a time-out (one minute per year of life) until they realize the errors of their disrespectful ways and give me a kiss and an apology and go on to do what is required of them
  
  This should be instigated in Congress. STAT.
  
  
• I've been trying to get caught up on the dozens of books that I've checked out. I know that it's not a personal FAILURE to return a book without having had read it.
  It still feels that way a bit. ... But I'm getting better.
• Mom and I have been cooking a little and working on teaching the kids to read and do maths (YES, I use the term "maths." Because I AM a pompous American. :P)
  
• Michael and I took the kiddos to OMSI yesterday to the new Science of Fear exhibit. We had fun. Even though Michael laughed at me because I psyched myself out in the "fear of animals" booth. ... HEY, I find spiders and scorpions rather unsettling.
  However, I wasn't phased much by the fear of loud noises or the fear of falling booths. All in all, quite fun. You should go!
• I skipped choir because I was a slacker and was trying to un-freeze myself (after a bowl of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge sauce *le sigh*) by taking a nice, hot bath ... while my darling offspring took a lovely nap.
• I'm going to need to close this up so that we can have Family Home Evening ... and then read the kids a couple chapters of "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe." (When they take a GOOD nap ... and we have time, I am not against rewarding them with more C.S. Lewis. ... It's a bit of a reward for ME, too. Free time AND more Christian allegory? Sign me up! In triplicate!)
• Bucket's enjoying her dance class. Maybe this week, I'll be able to take pictures of Bruise and Bucket participating in it WITHOUT holding my hands (and, thus, making it impossible to take any pictures).

I also am working more on my Personal Progress ... I haven't done even half of it. But I did tell the Mia Maids that I'm working on it. And K.A. gave me a fist bump ... which made me feel like Gus on Psych (HILARIOUS show!). And, hey, C gave me a shoulder-rub, which was AWESOME (I think that I carry most of my stress in my shoulders ... and they KILL me! UGH!! I should really do more Yoga or something.)

I still need to design about 11 birthday cards for Young Women's (we have quite a few November and December birthdays) and finish the November calendar (it's designed ... LOVE Ms Publisher. LOVELOVELOVE it.), I just need information from the leaders. ^_^

And I need to finish DO my Visiting Teaching (I've been such a slacker! ... Well, sorta. I've designed a CUTE little card to give to all our VT sisters with a quote from the October VT message on the front and my companion's and my phone number on the back. And I have a GREAT idea for what to make for a treat. I just need to DO it and get stuff scheduled and all. And I'm ticked at myself that I've let it get to be the TENTH and I haven't DONE IT YET. ... Yeah, I'm a bit of an overachiever. I like to have it done RIGHT AWAY, so that I can't slack off. And so that I don't get down on myself for not doing it sooner. ... I have issues.)

(And, no, I'm not always the greatest visiting teacher. I sure wish I was. When I was in the U-wards and I had my friend, Cami, as a companion, we were ON FIRE. It was awesome possum. I've had some great companions since Cami ... but it's not quite the same. And since the kids were born, it's a little more diffi--CHALLENGING.)

And I am still struggling with daily personal prayer and scripture study. It's not like I don't KNOW that it's important. It IS. I just really suck at it. STILL. I mean, I should be TONS better at doing all this. But I'm working on it a lot more right now. Which is better. But I'm definitely not great, by ANY definition. Just room to improve, right?

So, yeah .... that really covers a lot of what all I've been up to .... when I've been neglecting you all. Well, all that and Facebook. ^_^

So, yeah ... if you miss me tons, just look me up on Facebook. I'm usually there. All too often. :P

Is it Fall Yet Already?

Wow, when I'm renewing library books and I was AMAZED at the date it is TODAY, I know that time's going by WAY too fast sometimes.

Let's see ... since I last blogged, what's been going on?

We went down south last weekend to visit my dad and stepdad since this week is BOTH of their birthdays. (Dad's was yesterday. My stepdad's is Thursday.) Went down Friday morning and came back up Saturday evening. Kinda short visit, but a good time. We had to miss my stepdad's family reunion, since it was at the same time that we needed to be back here for church. But I was able to visit with my stepsisters Saturday. Then we got to see my Nana on our way home.

(Have I mentioned that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being close enough geographically that my kids have great relationships with their grandfolks? ... Speaking of, I REALLY need to be better about taking the kids over to see their great-grandfolks here in town. I really suck at it.)

Thursday, at storytime, Bruise surprised me by actually participating more in storytime than he has in the past. He actually followed directions for the songs ... even though he did stay close to me the whole time (instead of sitting up with Bucket and the rest of the kids). But that was a nice surprise to me.

I got a few changes to my visiting-teaching route. I still have two of the same sisters on my route (though one is moving next month) ... and I have one "new" sister to visit. However, that shouldn't be too hard, since I see her quite a bit, since she's the YW president (and, as her secretary, she and I email back and forth almost daily :P). I did lose H, my VT companion, which makes me sad. Now I'll barely see her, since she's so busy teaching a Sunday School class at church. My new companion hasn't had a lot of experience Visiting Teaching ... We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Yesterday, we cleaned the house and the kids took a nap. Then Michael took us out for a drive. We ended up driving our past Sweet Home to the Green Peter Dam. (And I got Bruise to say, "Dam rocks," to refer to rocks that Bucket was trying to kick around onto the dam. Ha!)

Then we headed back into town for dinner at Carl's Jr (the kids were ENTHRALLED that there's a STAR there. McDonald's doesn't have a STAR. :P) and a bath and PJs for the kiddos ... and then we had family home evening.
(I know! Go us!!)

I've also been reading a bit ... had to do that book review. JUST making the deadline for that one. ^_^ I also bought the LEGO Indiana Jones game for my DS. And I played it and played it and played it. ... I wonder if I should buy the Batman one? It'd be fun to play the Catwoman LEGO figure. ^_^ Of course, I think that Dr. Layton and the Mysterious Village would be fun, too.

(Also: LEGO Indiana Jones? Pretty cute ... if you're into LEGO figures. Just sayin'. I like him best as his professor self.)

(Also: When we were driving to the coast at the end of August, Michael had on his glasses as he drove. He got a little weirded out that I kept STARING at him. And I was all, "*sqee!* I've got a handsome husband!!" ... I know! I'm such the geek! I love it when my man wears glasses.)

Well, I need to get ready to take the kids to storytime. And I should be productive and, idk, do the dishes and fold the laundry and read a TON of books that need to go back. (Or do that other book review for Thomas Nelson books.)

... In other news, I've got Bucket watching Fairie Tale Theater. I LOVED that show when I was a little girl and it came on Showtime. Probably my favorite thing EVER from Showtime. The only episode I'm missing on DVD is the party where Shelly Duvall falls and hits her head ... I know that if I wanted to pay like $100, I could buy the COMPLETE collection and have that episode. But I know that I have it taped off of TV from like, 20 years ago. Maybe when I'm rich, I'll get that one. And Bucket can have this DVD set. ^_^

(I also NEEEEEEEED to buy The Storyteller collection. You know, that set by Jim Henson? Yeah, I need that one, too.)

Perhaps that was a little premature ...

Okay, so naptime hasn't been any easier since that ONE TIME. *sigh*

Oh well.

We went to the zoo yesterday. We asked Bucket, on the way home, what part of the zoo was her favorite. "The animals."

She was able to narrow it down to the hippos (since she sleeps with her stuffed hippo, Carl. And we have NO idea why his name is Carl. No idea. I asked her once what her hippo's name was ... and it is Carl.) and the Zebras ... mostly due to the Z in "zebra." Those of you who know Bucket will know WHY it's so special.

Bruise liked the birds. We actually forked over some cash to buy the little juice/sugar water/whatever cups to feed the Lorikeets. Bucket FREAKED THE CHICKEN OUT when one of the birds shook some of the juice (for lack of a more specific term. Since I didn't drink any of it, I really don't know what it is) over her head.

I did get nipped by one Lorikeet. Not a big deal. Bucket kissed it better for me.
I did get some nice pictures of the birds. That made me happy. Bruise thought it was HILARIOUS to be surrounded by screaming birds.

And, dude, lorikeets have such a WEIRD tongue(via WikiBooks). It looks like a little BRUSH on the end. I mean, I understand that it'd help them eat the juice ... and whatever they eat in the wild. Nectar, I guess. But, land sakes y'all, it looks a bit strange.

I think that Bruise likes the birds since he's started to let me do his hair in a faux-mohawk. He calls it "up hair" or, as Bucket calls it, "birdie hair" since it makes him look like a little boy crossed with a Cockatoo. It's even funnier (at least to me) when he's sporting his "birdie hair" and Bucket is all glammed out with a conservatice, little-girl updo and a dress ... and he's looking like he belongs to a whole 'nother household.

I need a good, strong gel so that it'd last all day. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong: I wet his hair, apply gel, and comb the center into the middle for the wanna-be mohawk. 
Yes, I really let him go out in public with his hair like this. It makes up for all the whining I put up with. And he looks SOOOOO CUUUUUUTE!!

My mom's always after me to spike his hair. If I find a good gel, I think I will. He's getting to where he's letting me DO stuff to his hair, instead of always having it combed into the default Young Republican (not anything wrong with that, since I am a R, myself :P) ... It's nice to switch it up.

I'm almost caught up with the dishes. Maybe one BIG handwash load and I'll be DONE!!
And then I'll rope Michael into helping me fold Mt. Laundry on our bed.

After a couple more loads go through the washer and dryer.

I meant to finish raking the front yard today ... not gonna happen, with how dang COLD and wet it is outside. Although I MAY go out and give the Japanese Maple a bit of a trim.

And then I should read at least two books. We'll see how that goes. But, hey! At least the house is LOTS cleaner (thanks to the awesome motivation of my husband.) ... I mean, I did manage to clean up the junk counter and my desk ... But, oh, there's always SO much more to be done. And I never want to do it.

Holy duke ... I think that the kids might just be asleep. Which is much better than it was about twenty minutes or so ago ... when I was all pissy about maybe losing an earring (of one of my FAVORITE pairs of earrings ... but I found it a minute later) and, as I walked by their bedroom where they STILL hadn't fallen asleep, but were up talking and PLAYING, I just screeched, "JUST GET IN YOUR DAMN BEDS!!!" at their door. Then Michael talked to them ... and they CRIED because they "not WANT to go to bed" (But they're sure cranky enough to NEED to, iykwim, aityd). Then, later, as they played again, I just opened the door, stood there and said in my dangerous-low-slow-don't-mess-with-me voice, "This is your last warning. Do you want me to come in here again? NOW, get in your bed. Pull up your covers. Close your eyes and shut your mouth. Go. To. Sleep." ... And, since I don't hear them right now .... I think they might have actually followed my instructions. WOW.

But, yeah. I looked up a series of church books for the kids. I like the three that we have so far. There's another three that I want to get (out of five available). Me? Want to buy more books? Pshaw! 
Yes, I know that I have a problem. But I can't help that I love books so much. They make me happy!! And they don't make me as fat as my love for food ... of course, it'd be really nice if I had a little shelf for books or magazines on my treadmill. If I did, I might be about twenty pounds lighter ... and that'd be very good for my mental health number. ^_^

Okay, to read!! I hear the siren call of written language.

Oh. Em. GOSH.

It's taken three years, one month, and thirty-two days ... but I might have just figured out the secret to nap time.

Leave the damn door open.

My house is really rather in shambles. The new library is open, I'm trying to finish reading books helter-skelter, and I'm semi-addicted to Vampire Wars on Facebook (my clan is nine mebers big [read: kinda small] but I'm up to level 23. I tried Fashion Wars, but it was kinda dumb. And I didn't care for Dragon Wars much. But Vampires?? I like it.

Still ...  So, I'm getting the kids ready for storytime this morning. Rox calls. Yes, we'll get together while we're up north to go to the zoo. We get it so that I have directions. I have maps (so there will not be a repeat of LAST Friday where Michael and I were driving around Salem ... me driving, him navigating, me FREAKING THE CHICKEN OUT BECAUSE I DRIVE CRAP IN BIG CITIES). ... and I notice that it's just about time for storytime to start ... and we're still in the house.

So I hustle the munchkin brigade out the door, in the van, drive down the street (well, practically) to the NEW! AMAZING! LIBRARY! and we have fun at storytime ... except for the part where Bucket trips coming in and scrapes her knee.

Bruise gets to play with the train table (which was remarkably NOT crowded today. Crazy.) while Bucket and I sit and read Chickerella about three times. (Obviously, I know how to pick a book.) Then I load everybody back into the van (After we ride the elevator over and over again. And Bruise about pokes some poor old man in the testes as he [Bruise] isn't looking where he's going [the poor elderly chap was ENTIRELY TOO AWARE of this happenstance. Oh, but I couldn't help but laugh. Can you really blame me??] as he's trying to run up the stairs.

(Note to self: Next house = Must have stairs and elevator. Or at least a dumbwaiter. Keep dreaming.)) and we go to Costco and get gas. And bananas, potatoes, tangerines/mandarins/whatever-the-H-you-want-to-call-them, gravy mix, and a package of those chocolate muffins that are about half the size of your head.

Then, as we've gotten home and are heading to the street to check the mail (or, as we call it, "checka mail" -- Oh, how my Toddler-ese vocabulary has GROWN!!), Bucket runs down the driveway and scrapes her OTHER knee! 

And oh!! The screaming!! The agony!! The minute possibility of blood!! (Okay, so there was some visible blood ... but it's not like it even shows up on a napkin or anything.) So we grab the mail, I carry in the food while Bucket screams and shrieks, and I patch up her knee.

Talk to Mom on the phone. Talk to Dad on the phone. (For two people who haven't been together in YEARS, they sure called in sequence. Why is that?) Bucket's band-aid came off while I was chatting with my dad ... SCREAMING. (Whereas, before that, the children were quite peacefully communing with the siren vocal stylings of Disney's Snow White. And had each worked on eating a muffin as large as their HEADS.) So I took care of that. This is why I really SHOULD remember to pick up a ginormous package of Band-Aids at Costco next time.

But the kids wanted a bath. So a bath they got. And then I instituted reading time ... and I read them two books (I know, how awesome am I? I actually LEFT THE COMPUTER and SPENT TIME WITH MY OFFSPRING. I should get, like, a friggin' Nobel Prize or something. *rolls eyes*). And I told them that it was nap time. And Bucket asked me to leave the door open ... and I said, "Okay, as long as you stay in bed. If you get out of bed, I have to close the door, since I need to work at cleaning up the house." And they agreed. So, the door is open. I ran a load of laundry, cleaned off my crap from the small counter (it still needs work, but it's WAY better) ... and am taking a break before I think about cleaning off my disaster area of a desk and doing another load of dishes and folding some laundry and reading another book (or two, since I have a metric crapload of literature due back at the library in the next week. *sigh*).
Bruise did play in his bed for a while ... but last I looked, he got bored and, since he was (noticeably) tired, he's asleep.

In other news, we've gotten ourselves a membership (which explains the trip to Salem) at the A.C. Gilbert House (and, via that, OMSI and a few other Science Museums. Hey, with a membership at these places, it came with a coupon sheet for a few other museums -- There's a two-for-one coupon for the Portland Children's Museum. Cool, cool. I think the kidlets would like to go there sometime.) So, Saturday, we went to OMSI with bil (brother-in-law) J and Mom and Dad C. The kids had a great time ... Bucket even conked out in the car on the way home.

Sometime, Michael and I will ditch the kids and go up ourselves to check out the DaVinci exhibit. (And, crappit, I totally forgot my camera this time!! Grr. Oh well. I still had a great time.)

Bucket looked at the fetal development exhibit with me. She's rather amazed that she was ever so small. Come to think of it, so am I.

Okay, I've got to close this up. My house isn't going to clean itself. Even though I really, really, really, RILLY wish it would. (Oh, my dears, I DO so wish it would. But it never does. And I don't think it ever will.)

So ... yeah.

And, hey, if you want me to make you something crafty-crafty ... or maybe just half-crafty, since I'm not all that crafty (Hey, just keeping it real.), you should sign up on the previous post. There are three spaces left! You know that you want to make me wrack my brain to figure out something that I feel talented enough at to DO for someone else! Or, hey, you could just NOT ... and let me be all lazy. I'm pretty easily pleased.

Insert clever, yet relevant, title HERE. Thanks.

What did I just do, you may ask?
(Or you may not KNOW that is what you're SUPPOSED to be asking. ... Okay, so ask it!!)
(There. See? Not that hard. And now I can continue ...)

Well, I've put the kidlets down for a nap (So WHAT if Bruise slept for over 12 hours straight yesterday? What of it?!?) ... and after about a half-hour, Bunny is SCREAMING.

So, I pad my pajama-bedecked self in there ... and she's crying and screaming about "Bruise *unintelligble* me!!"

I pick her up. I quiz her, "Did he BITE you? Did he HIT you?"

Finally, I get it out of her -- He pulled her arm.
And I look ... she's cradling that elbow with her other hand ... CRAPPIT.

I try and get her elbow un-dislocated ... and she's screaming and not-so-cooperative ... Not that I can blame her.  It's not something that's happened to me, but it sure seems painful.

Finally, "Sweetie, would some medicine help?"
She tearfully nods.

I get the children's ibuprofen, give her a jigger of it (Okay, so I DON'T know my liquor-stuff well enough to know if it is REALLY a jigger. I just WANT to uwse the word "jigger" in here, okay? It's a funny word. It rolls off the tongue, okay?!? ... Yes, I'm still a little testy. Sorry. ... I'm not TRYING to take it out on you. You know that I love you. Dear reader, you are very important to me. I'm just a little worked up. On edge. I'm trying to get a handle on myself. So, if I'm a little snarky and sharing the same temperment as a rabid, wounded badger on steroids ... I'm just really sorry, okay?)

... where was I? ... Oh, yes ... 'Give her a jigger of' the ibuprofen ... and get her calmed down ...

Wait, back up a sec. As I'm getting the ibuprofen, I'm quickly saying a prayer to REMEMBER how Dr. N taught me to reset Bunny's elbow. I'm able to go through the motions ("Straighten the arm. Rotate to palm-up. Bend the elbow. Okay.") and I go to my daughter, give her the drugs (It just sounds SO much more film noir to say it that way. MUCH cooler than "I gave her a dose of children's Motrin" ... right?)
(And, yes, it IS a drug. I was in D.A.R.E. when I was younger. And I totally rocked the whole "passive vs. assertive vs. aggressive" chapter. I was asked if I had read the chapter ahead of time. Nope!)

... AND then I hold her elbow in one hand, go through the little procedure, and *pop* it's back into the joint.

She just about immediately stops crying.

I'm so glad that I don't have to take her to the doctor's office. Phew.

Besides that, I'm tying to plow through my library books and such.

We tried watching Mad Men. Meh.
At least the clothes are great in it. But, the rest of it?
Well, okay ... it's nice to see YoSafBridge in something. It'd be cooler if it were a show that I enjoyed, though.

Oh well. I'm going to close up and watch Persuasion ... especially since I took the time and websearches to learn how to pronounce Ciaran Hinds' name. (KEER-ahn, for the record.)
And, besides, it's a nice reward to me for being a smart mom who can reset a joint. (But just THAT one, really. I may be able to put a shoulder back into place ... But the lower joints? Or the wrist? I'm no help there.)

(And, the pop of it going back into place is so small that it's not gross. Maybe just because this is my baby girl.)

Ugh. I need a shower. And to fold baskets of laundry. And wash loads of dishes. And to sleep hours of naps. And to read piles of books.

Blech.

Off to see the ... Turning Around

SO, we were ready to go to the aquarium. We'd gotten the kidlets ready and were dressed. We dropped books off at the libraries, picked up some sheetrock from Freecycle (if you don't know about Freecycle, you totally SHOULD. Awesome.) ... and we were driving and then ... Bunny's couch is so bad she spits up. And I get her a cup after wiping her off (it wasn't THAT bad) ... and the spews into the cup TWICE MORE ... once filling that little sippy-cup about HALFWAY.

Yeah, we are NOT making it to the aquarium today.

And she didn't get to stay in Nursery the whole time ... maybe for about one hour yesterday ... so she went to Priesthood meeting with Michael while I went to Young Women's. 

She's been coughing for a couple days. And it just got bad yesterday. Bruise is coughing a little, too. So today is our sick day. ... At least Michael's on vacation, so we can try to get to the aquarium tomorrow. ^_^

Poor little girl, though. And poor Bruise. They REALLY wanted to go "see tha fishies," as they say it.

But, hey, I'm a good wife and mother. I got a free sheet of wallboard (the sheetrock mentioned earlier) so Michael can repair the holes in the bathroom (NOT from us.), I found the clothes that Miss Bunny wanted to wear (which she's no longer in, since she peed herself -- poor, tired, sick-y girl) on Michael when we got back in the house ... I played with her as she took a warm bath, got her slathered with the Vick's Baby Rub ... and picked up a bagful of groceries to treat my little sicky as we were on the way home.

Yup, I stocked up on some ginger ale, grabbed cough drops that taste good, some more Vick's rub (since she's now old enough for the real menthol-rub), some Powerade mix ... and replenished the supply of string cheese for the kidlets.

Besides all that, Michael and I got a big Christmas present for each other -- we now can hear our movies as we watch them. We got a home entertainment system with new speakers. Putting it up entailed breaking part of our TV stand ... everything seems to have some casualty count, right? (But it still works ... the TV stand. And the sound system.)
It even has an iPod dock, which we didn't notice until we got it home and were setting it up. 

It makes me happy. I like being able to hear a DVD over the dishwasher. Or the children. ^_^

My neck's been hurting for the last couple days. Ugh. Someday I'd love to be filthy, stinking rich and be able to afford to go to the chropractor whenever ... or have a live-in massuse. Or both. And an accupunturist on call. Someday.

In other news, I got that chiffon shrug returned ... and have ordered the satin shrug to go with my bridesmaidmatron dress. One less thing to freak about. And I am checking into seeing if the local tux place is selling a tie to go with the Boy's tux. *sigh* Hopefully they are. But, if not, at least this place only charges $7.50/day for a rental of the tie ... as opposed to another place that was asking $30/rental.

Oh, and I was also like, the BESTEST wife evar(!!!!1!!one!!!!1!) because I *gasp!!* did the dishes!
I KNOW!! Totally GO ME!!

Now, I have a sick family to take care of. And I'm ready for a nap. 
But I'll probably read some blogs first, while the kidlets are engrossed in their Robots DVD (Thanks, T2!!).

Insomnia strikes again!! Lady-stuff and poop discussed. (The poop's not mine, though)

So ... this is not the most MALE-FRIENDLY post ... so, um, if you're not sporting double X-chomosomes, just be aware, okay? I'm not TRYING to skeeve you out. I'm just saying it like it is, okay?

First - I hate my period. Because it fills my head with angry bees, for lack of a better term. I'm hormonal. Moody. I lack motivation ... unless it's the motivation to get depressed about what a jerk/loser/poeser I am, etc., etc., so forth.
Yeah, not a great time to be me.

BUT, here's something funny:

So, I'm the type that I would rather be open with my kids about human biology and such, you get what I mean? It's not like my kids stay away when I'm in the bathroom ... In fact, that seems to be the time that they SEEK ME OUT. (Note to self: Why is that? Srsly, what gives?!?) ...

So, I'm inserting an article of "feminine protection," per se, with the kids quizzing me about completely unrelated things. And Bunny asks, "Mommy, what that??" as I'm tossing away the garbage.

So, to let her know that Mommy's not hemmoraging or HURT or anything, I calmly explain that ladies, when their bodies are able to have babies, bleed. It's totally normal and happens once a month. It doesn't hurt. It's nothing to worry about.

"Ladies? Bleed?"
"Yes."
"Not daddies?"
"Nope, not daddies."

... And later, when I was in the bathroom, she points out and says in a tone full of pity and compassion, "Oh, Mommy, oh. You bleeded your panties. Poor Mommy. Next time you get M."
(Because when Bunny or Bruise pee or poop in their diapers, that's pretty much the talk we give -- 'Too bad you went in your diaper. Oh well. Next time, when you go in the toilet, you can earn an M [M&Ms]'). It made me laugh.

AND I did give her the talk about NOT talking to people about my cycle ... that we do NOT talk to people about our private regions, per se. (I use the anatomical names for them ... which is why, on occasion, my son has come up to me and pointed out his pen!s. ... At least I know that he's listening. As, when I put a diaper on him, he'll tell me that his pen!s needs to be down.)

Oh!! Oh!!! Bruise went POOP on the TOILET!!!!! YES!!!
YESTERDAY night!!!

So he's been happily working at wearing his underwear (insert Bunny's adamant "[Bruise] no wear panties. [Bruise] wear UNDARWAAARES!!!!!) -- Transformers and Thomas the Train, and playing with his new Bumblebee robot.

And, since when the kidlets go poop, I give them five Ms (as opposed to the ONE they get when they go pee) ... I gave Bruise his five hard-earned Ms ... and he immediately gave two of them to Bunny. (cue: AWWWWWWwwwwww!!!!!1!) He didn't have to do that. I know that I wouldn't have. But it was very sweet and warmed my cold, dead heart.

Well, I'm starting to get tired. And COLD. So I'm going to head to bed (again).

But that new pillow is totally doing its job. Yay!

Michael pulled a muscle in his back Sunday, though. Booo!

He stayed home from work to recuperate. (whispered yay!! ... because I like having him home.)

I've gotten through a few books this weekend (double-yay!)
I've also folded a LOT of laundry (another double-yay!!)

I haven't done dishes (Booooooooo.)

Michael still loves me (YAY!!!!!)

I need to pack tomorrow. And make a cheesecake. And have FHE (Family Home Evening). And do the stinkin' (starting to be literal. Ewwww.) dishes. And take the kidlets to storytime. *sigh* I can do it. I can do it. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ....

Life and More Videos

Today, while Michael was at the Priesthood session of General Conference, Bruise hops up to where I'm reading on the couch and proudly proclaims, "Mommy see! My pen!s!"

I look at him for a sec, working out what he's said ... and there, peeking over the front of his diaper is his little pen!s. 

I had to work VERY hard to compose myself ... especially as Bruise and Bucket were BOTH cracking up about this ... to tell Bruise that his pen!s STAYS in his diaper -- you don't go around SHOWING it to people -- and that if it comes out again, I'll have to give him a spank or send him to his room.

Another exchange that happened earlier today was when Michael was making a little jump rope for Bucket (she started jumping without a rope, proclaiming, "Look! I jump rope!!" ... Something that, as it happens, NEITHER one of us has taught her) -- cutting a little nylon rope and melting the ends with a lighter so they won't fray.

We gave the talk of, "Is that cold?" "No, HOT!" is the reply. And then, Bucket really gets going.

"No, Daddy. You NO touch that. It's HOT. You NO touching it!"

Me: Bucket, what would happen if Daddy touches it?
Bucket: It HOT. You no touching it, Daddy.

Me: What would happen? Would Daddy cut himself?
Bucket: No, Daddy, You no touch it. You NO burn Daddyself!!"

My kids make me smile. Especially when they're all INTENSE about us not getting hurt. (And they're little less cute when they're HURTING us ... like Miss Buckety-Bucket reverse head-butts me [head-butts me with the BACK of her head] on my cheekbone in the middle of storytime. Owwww.)

And one less-than-cool parenting story --

Bucket didn't want to take a nap. So on her way to her room, she rips a piece of paper off the panelling in the hallway.
When Michael asked WHY she did that (and to my credit, I didn't yell or threaten. I just gasped and covered my mouth and told Michael what she did by mumbling though my fingers -- it's not like we're not planning to paint the wall soon, anyways. But still!!), Bucket simply said, "To make Mommy Daddy mad." .... Ouch.

And here are some more links that I've been keeping for you:

L'Amore: A very funny piece of work about (wait for it) Love:

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

Birds of Britain - Not always the most correct, per se ... :

The new dieting craze (nabbed from my wonderful Cynthia):

And, on discussing the joys of the English language pronunciation and spelling: