30 Things to do Before I Turn 30

Okay, I have just over two years ... but, knowing me and my penchant for procrastination, I really should get crackalackin'.

1. Get into a daily habit of personal prayer. And pray over all meals.
2. Ditto with the personal habit of daily scripture STUDY. (It's not called scripture skimming. And I need to remember that.)
3. Start (and maintain) some kind of exercise regime.
4. Set up a schedule for the kidlets -- so they have a time when they KNOW that we will work on school-type stuff.
5. Take a pottery class.
6. Take a chemistry class -- I used to be able to balance chemical equations. What happened?
7. Read more classics.
8. Have a facial at a day spa.
9. Try waxing. Professionally. (Tried a cold wax strip THING once. NEVER AGAIN.)
10. Get back into a habit of DOING housework -- Once I was totally on the FlyLady wagon. The house looked great. My husband felt loved (hey, a clean house is one thing in his love language. Crazy, I know! But I married him and want him to be happy.) ... It'd be good to get back in that habit again.
11. Write. Maybe I could try writing a novel. Or my memoirs. But I need to write.
12. Learn to SCUBA dive.
13. Take a dance class with Michael. I like dancing ... and I barely do it anymore.
14. Take the kids swimming.
15. Go on a family vacation.
16. Go to Hawai'i.
17. See the Aurora Borealis.
18. Get health insurance.
19. Buy lingere that makes me feel amazing when I wear it.
20. Make a souflee. Just so I can say that I've done it.
21. Learn to knit.
22. Sew something that doesn't fall apart.
23. Attend my high-school reunion.
24. Learn Gaelic.
25. Learn basic Japanese.
26. Sing in the Church choir ... I think the kids are getting old enough to do without that nap. 
27. Play with Play-doh more often. 
28.  Fingerpaint with Bruise and Bunny.
29.  Perform in some theatrical. It's been a while since I've done anything.
30.  Get our rooms painted in the house.

Let's see how well I do at getting these things done. And if I don't get EVERYTHING done in the next two years ... well ... I'll still be alive. And have soem goals to work towards.

Off to see the ... Turning Around

SO, we were ready to go to the aquarium. We'd gotten the kidlets ready and were dressed. We dropped books off at the libraries, picked up some sheetrock from Freecycle (if you don't know about Freecycle, you totally SHOULD. Awesome.) ... and we were driving and then ... Bunny's couch is so bad she spits up. And I get her a cup after wiping her off (it wasn't THAT bad) ... and the spews into the cup TWICE MORE ... once filling that little sippy-cup about HALFWAY.

Yeah, we are NOT making it to the aquarium today.

And she didn't get to stay in Nursery the whole time ... maybe for about one hour yesterday ... so she went to Priesthood meeting with Michael while I went to Young Women's. 

She's been coughing for a couple days. And it just got bad yesterday. Bruise is coughing a little, too. So today is our sick day. ... At least Michael's on vacation, so we can try to get to the aquarium tomorrow. ^_^

Poor little girl, though. And poor Bruise. They REALLY wanted to go "see tha fishies," as they say it.

But, hey, I'm a good wife and mother. I got a free sheet of wallboard (the sheetrock mentioned earlier) so Michael can repair the holes in the bathroom (NOT from us.), I found the clothes that Miss Bunny wanted to wear (which she's no longer in, since she peed herself -- poor, tired, sick-y girl) on Michael when we got back in the house ... I played with her as she took a warm bath, got her slathered with the Vick's Baby Rub ... and picked up a bagful of groceries to treat my little sicky as we were on the way home.

Yup, I stocked up on some ginger ale, grabbed cough drops that taste good, some more Vick's rub (since she's now old enough for the real menthol-rub), some Powerade mix ... and replenished the supply of string cheese for the kidlets.

Besides all that, Michael and I got a big Christmas present for each other -- we now can hear our movies as we watch them. We got a home entertainment system with new speakers. Putting it up entailed breaking part of our TV stand ... everything seems to have some casualty count, right? (But it still works ... the TV stand. And the sound system.)
It even has an iPod dock, which we didn't notice until we got it home and were setting it up. 

It makes me happy. I like being able to hear a DVD over the dishwasher. Or the children. ^_^

My neck's been hurting for the last couple days. Ugh. Someday I'd love to be filthy, stinking rich and be able to afford to go to the chropractor whenever ... or have a live-in massuse. Or both. And an accupunturist on call. Someday.

In other news, I got that chiffon shrug returned ... and have ordered the satin shrug to go with my bridesmaidmatron dress. One less thing to freak about. And I am checking into seeing if the local tux place is selling a tie to go with the Boy's tux. *sigh* Hopefully they are. But, if not, at least this place only charges $7.50/day for a rental of the tie ... as opposed to another place that was asking $30/rental.

Oh, and I was also like, the BESTEST wife evar(!!!!1!!one!!!!1!) because I *gasp!!* did the dishes!
I KNOW!! Totally GO ME!!

Now, I have a sick family to take care of. And I'm ready for a nap. 
But I'll probably read some blogs first, while the kidlets are engrossed in their Robots DVD (Thanks, T2!!).

Meme nabbed from Bri

Okay ... here goes ...

20 YEARS AGO (1988):
1. I was in 2nd Grade ... and my teacher worried that I had hearing problems 
(The problem was that I would be SO sucked into the book I was reading, I wouldn't hear my reading group announced. Oops.)
2. My dad lived up in Portland, taking independent living classes ... so I didn't see him so much.
3. I got my second first-prize trophy for the school's reading contest (tied for first the previous year)
4. I had the best time ever playing over at my cousins' house after school.

10 YEARS AGO (1998):
1. I was in my junior year at SUHS.
2. I loved swing dancing.
3. I worked at a grocery store ... being a courtesy clerk. I can still bag groceries with some mad skillz.
4. I was longing for one of my guy friends.
5. I went to prom with another guy friend ... which almost ended that friendship (after we decided to dance REALLY close to give my ex-boyfriend, who WAS staring, something TO stare at ... and my guy friend ... well, ... As he said, "Either you're the world's best actress or you really do love me." ... And I felt like a complete ... WRETCHED person for writing back "Um ... thanks for the compliment. I do enjoy my drama class."
Yes, I am completely wretched and mean. Because I really only liked him as a friend.

5 YEARS AGO (2003):
1. I graduated from college after the hardest term of student teaching.
2. I started a two-month sabbatical that consisted of laying in bed reading and watching the Sharon Osbourne show. (I still miss Sharon's show. I think she's darling.)
3. I was surprised to find that I graduated with honors. For some reason, I thought you had to BE in the Honors program to do that. I am a little bitter against two certain professors that I couldn't graduate with higher honors. Blech.
4. Michael and I celebrated our second anniversary.

5. I was sad that I wasn't able to make it to all the Insitute classes offered on my college campus. I still miss Borther Kirby's classes. 

6. It was a few months until I signed up to volunteer at the library of the town we lived in ... which I found that I LOVED. (Truly, few things get me to my Zen-zone than shelving books. Why is that?)
7.  ... I've blanked a lot of that year from my memory ... Sorry!

1 YEAR AGO (2007):
1. We celebrated the kidlets' second Christmas.
2. Michael and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary.
3. We were enjoying our first FULL year of being homeowners.
4. I celebrated the fact that I've kept the lily I received from my Nana (for being in the hospital/giving her some great-grandbabies ["I never thought I'd be a great-grandma!"] alive ... even with kids ... for two years!
5. Michael gave me my digital SLR camera. He looooooves me.

THIS YEAR (2008):
1. We replaced the carpet in the master bath with vinyl tiles. Something we'd meant to do for years.
2. Michael got a raise.
3. Bruce's rocket-thumb incident.
4. I've made friends with a few more people in my ward. Which is awesome.
5. I've enjoyed my calling(s) in Young Women's at church.  It's great to be with girls that rock. I feel younger (or else I feel ANCIENT, when I make a pop culture reference ... from before the girls were aware of pop culture. D:)

NEXT YEAR:
1. The kids turn 3.
2. Michael will take his Professional Engineering exam (to get his license) ... and he should pass it the first time. *hope, hope* And he'll be a REAL ENGINEER!
3. I'll be hurrying to complete a list (and do the things ON that list) of 30 things to do before I turn 30 ... since I'm good at procrastinating.
4.  We may go on a vacation.
5. We WILL paint the interior of the house. At least a few of the rooms.
6. I am going to get my own copy of "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" on DVD. Because I love it so.
7. We will go to the temple more often.
8. I will get medical insurance. (If Michael passes his PE exam, and gets that raise, we can afford to put all of us on his work insurance!) ^_^ Until then, I need to get on this. ^_^

Merry Christmas!

(Or, if you're not that religious, Happy Zombie Jesus Day!) (Because, even though it's terribly sacriligeious ... or is it blasphemous? [I always get those two mixed up. *shrugs*], it just makes me laugh. Even though He's not a zombie.)

I hope that you are all able to have a wonderful day with friends and family, that you have good health and fortune, that you are feeling blessed and treasured by those whom you love.

We've had a great morning, with my mom and aunt and Michael's family (we're waiting on a few members, though) here. Bruise and Bunny have been thouroughly spoiled (Read Disney Princess and Transformers Central here).

The chickens are in the oven, roasting (after brining during the night). The mashed potatoes were done last night. Now to heat up food and make a pan of gravy (after the chickens are done).

What did I get? Michael and the kidlets got me my own DVDs of Labyrinth (to replace my decade-old VHS copy. Not that I'm giving that up!) and MirrorMask. Mom got me (and the kidlets) a cloth calendar (so we can teach/learn days of the week and our months and weather). My aunt gave us a gift card to a restaurant (Hello Date night!!), BIL J got us a gift card to Borders (you see why I adore this boy. He's still single ... better speak up soon!! And if you're interested or have a friend who's interested, you'd better be amazing. Just sayin').  Mom and Dad C got us DVDs of Johnny Quest, which I'm not all that familiar with. But Michael assures me that it's a good series. Animation? I'm game! SIL T2 got us a DVD of Robots, which Bruise is excited to watch ... but not as excited as his present of the DVD of Transformers (the latest movie, with Shia LeBouf) which we're watching now. :P (He's also thrilled that Mutti and Poppi got him Season One of the newer animated Transformers cartoon. ^_^)

Bunny is very glad to have Princess Barbies and her own copies of The Little Mermaid and Cinderella. Right now, she's playing with Grandma, with a colorform-type dress-up Disney Princesses book.

I should run the dishwasher so we'll have plates and glasses and such for lunch/dinner/meals.

Merry Christmas! (Or whatever you do or abstain from celebrating! I can wish you a Happy Hannuaka, since it's still that holiday! :P) Be safe and happy and healthy!

Now it's official ...

NO, I am NOT PREGNANT.

But now I can actually BLOG about it (since there are people in my ward who read my blog) ... I'm the Stake Assistant Girls' Camp Director. And I have an AWESOME-POSSUM director to work with. (Shana is hilarious and wonderful! I'm ready to start a fan club to her. For realz!)

And, another thing that'll be nice is that I'll be able to go to (at least) most of camp, since the bridal shower that might have conflicted with it will be the weekend before camp. Phew!

But, yes, I have two callings again. ... And we're still looking for a Ward Camp director ... among other callings. And now I get to help Shana come up with some names for positions that are needed for Girls' Camp.

But, hey! It's SO nice that Shana and I are of the same mind about a lot of things. And she's so superfun to talk to.

In other news, I spent WAY too much time looking at vintage-y clothes on the interwebs. And why is it that the Brits seem to have the monopoly of DARLING vintage reproductions?

But, oh ... I WANT this! (and Michael even thinks it's darling!) [EDIT: Just as I post it, it's yanked from the site. It was a DARLING little babydoll with puffy/frilly knickers to go with it. Too bad you can't look at it. It was adorable. Like CuteOverload-worthy.)

And, if I'm going to be getting another swimsuit ... well, I'm SORELY tempted with this one (The top one).

But, yeah ... I've figured out that I have EXPENSIVE taste. Buggers! Since I don't have tons of pin money to throw around. :( Wah! My life is harrrrrrd!!!

Oh well. And, really ... if I'm going to have things that are that darling, I'd better start with the crunches and using the treadmill and such. 

In other news, my husband is funny. We were watching The Scorpion King last night ... and you know the one scene, where Matthias (Dwayne Johnson/"The Rock") was poisoned ... and the sorceress-gal is healing him? Yeah, Michael let me know that next time he's sick, he could handle that treatment. So much for paying his medical insurance premiums ... *rolls eyes* 

Other, other news ... I've completed ALL the Sudoku in Brain Age 2. Yup, I'm amazing like that.
I actually do better on the Advanced ones than I do with the Intermediate ones. Why is that?

Bruise and Bunny went to their cousin's birthday party this weekend. There was a pinata. Bunny is DANGEROUS when armed with a metal bat. No one was hurt ... but, gosh, I should get her into sports. Soon.

We cleaned up the house yesterday. Crazy how bad I had let it get. Sorry!

I really don't have an absolute ton to blog about. But it's been DAYS since I blogged ... Sorry that I'm all disjointed and stream-of-conscious-style-ing.

Oh, since I've been reading SuperKawaiiMama, I've done my hair in sponge rollers ... and I've done cute liquid eyeliner ... and, yeah, it does make me feel a lot cuter and more feminine. I also did Bunny's hair in rollers .... and I about got a toothache, she was just so darling. And her hair holds the curl a whole heck of a lot better than mine does. Oh well.

And, hey, if I drop some mum-flub, I should fit in my smashing Swing Dancing dress that I've had in my closet for YEARS. And it'd be nice to fit in that again. Without pressing at spots in unslightly ways (because TECHNICALLY I fit ... it's not just good enough for practical application ... since I don't care to have the fabric stretching across my pooch or bunching up in the back along the zipper. Just doesn't look quite right.)

Also, last night, I had the old My Little Pony Theme stuck in my brain.
Why?

Lastly: on over hearing myself and the fruit of my loins ---

At the ward Christmas Party, as part of the skit that was done, groups of the ward would be invited to all come up to the stage and sing a song. Bruise and Bunny went up with the Primary (the kids aged 3-11) to sing. 
Next were the Young Women (12-17 year-old girls) ... Bruise was fussing because HE wanted to go up again.
Me: *quietly hissing this because I know Anne, right behind me, is VIDEOTAPING this* Bruise, are you a young woman? Do you have a v@g1n@??
Bunny: *slightly LOUDLY* No, Bruise-y has a PEN!S. He no has a V@G1N@! Mommy and [Bunny] has V@G1NAS!!!

And then I died a little.

And, yes, it IS my fauly for teaching my children the anatomically correct names for bodily organs. (And, truly, it does help me release some steam by being able to shout --- not that I'd ever do THAT, of course, Nooooooooo ...--- "Stop playing with your PEN!S" at a certain nearly-three-year-old child in this household. Not that I'm naming ANY names *sends significant looks over toward certain child ... Not Bunny*)

But, hey, Anne said that it was COMPLETELY audible ... and that her family will enjoy that exchange upon future watchings.
Thanks.

I'll try to keep that in mind as my red face melts the city's snowfalls.

Things to share -- and the Interwebs won't listen to me.

**Okay, just so you know, there are some seriously weird spacing issues with this post. I've TRIED to fix it. But the intewebs are ignoring me. Mostly, I guess, because I don't do "threatening very well. SO, if you REALLY want to see the whole picture/video ... Just click on it until it takes you to YouTube or the original page. I really do love you!!**

Because I love Google ... and this was just too cool:

Because you can never have too many inspiring speeches:

And for reading fun (some language NSFW, sorry!!): Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. 

It made me laugh, the retitlings... And, no, I DON'T know all of the books. Mea culpa!

And this was just CUTE:

This guy singing, for some inexplicable reason, reminds me of Bri's husband.

Not that he'd EVER do anything like this. He's far too mature and accountant-ish for that. Maybe it's just something about the singer's facial expressions ... I don't know.

But, Bri, if you could have your Mr. Husband-guy DO that dance ... well, I'd totally owe you for a videotape of that. I'd never worry about depression, anyways. :P

I never fail to laugh about this story ... paying a bill with a drawing of a spider? Love it!!

And because I like pictures:

And, I don't have to be Democratic to like this picture. Just sayin'...

And, while I'm being a little political: here's the best reaction to Prop 8.
Do watch the video. It's the BESTEST!

This story made me all teary-eyed: A mom, dying of cancer, takes her kids on vacation ... snapping pictures with her (deceased) dad's camera in order to create a scrapbooks for them to remember their time together after she dies. While eating in a restaurant, someone breaks into their car and steals stuff -- including the camera. ... But it ends really well. It makes me feel a little less like a cold-hearted Scrooge. And want to trust the world *just* a little bit more.

If you're in the Holiday spirit and a little geeked-out, here are some cards for you!

Courtesy of my Cynthia, here is the latest Celebrity-endorsed Holiday song:

"PLEASE DON'T BOMB NOBODY THIS HOLIDAY" - By The Dan Band - watch more funny videos

(She especially enjoys the brief bits of the dancing talent of Nathan Fillon. 

... However, I was hooting with laughter due to Neil Patrick Harris.) And, don't watch it at work ... you do see a bra in there. Just giving you a heads up, okay?

Phew!! I think that's it!!

Here I am, shivering in sweatpants, fuzzy socks, and a thermal top (that I've apparently STOLEN from Michael's drawer. Bad me. Shame!!!) ... because there is STILL snow on the ground. But, hey, at least driving around should be safe. It appears that the ice has all melted from the roads.

Yesterday, Michael stayed home (since driving would have been SO dangerous!) ... so that made me happy. After a weekend where we (1) traveled and (2) he was gone a good chunk of Sunday doing his Home Teaching, it was nice to have a day where he was around and we could hang out and do some Christmas shopping.

We also had the kiddos play in the snow. In. Our. YARD!! (Last winter, we drove for over an hour to take the kidlets to play in the snow on their birthday. So, having snow On. The. GROUND!! was pretty amazing.

Bruise likes to EAT snow. When I was buckling him into the car to come home from church, he's all munching on something. And my hand comes into something wet. And COLD. And I half-screech, "Are you eating SNOW?!?!?" .... "Yeah," he replies.
Nutto child.

Bunny and Bruise have had lots of fun tossing snowballs. I'm mean enough that I pegged then both in the face with snowballs. I figure that it helps make up for all the crap they have given me the last three years (yes, I AM counting time in the womb, thankyouverymuch). And they think that being pegged with powdery snowballs is pretty funny. Most of the time.

It turns out that right now, Wall-E is Bruise's favorite movie. He's watching it for the second time today.

As we were reading a Nativity story the other day, Bunny points to the picture and says, "Look! Baby Jesus in an egg!!" ... You know how a simplistic-type drawing makes swaddling clothes look ... SO, I've been swadling Bunny's baby dolls in their old receiving blankets. And Bruise and Bucket carry around their babies.

It's almost enough for me to know that they feel ready to have babies around the house. But, oh, would I be ready? That and the fact that I wouldn't fit into my Matron-of-honor dress ... *sigh* I guess I have no choice but to wait to get knocked up again until after Mer's wedding. Since I am NOT spending another hundred dollars on a dress that would have no chance of fitting without a ton of alterations. 

Well, at least I could still wear the jacket that I have to get this weekend. *sigh*

That and I really SHOULD get some health insurance sometime. *double sigh*

I really need to clean the house. But, hey! My husband's awesome because he helped me fold a metric crapload of laundry. Now I need to fold a couple more loads of laundry, do the dishes, maybe start making cookies for our neighbors (since I really barely know any of them. Yeah, I know. I suck.), and I need to read at least three books today. At least the books are rather short. *phew!!*

Of course, with it being so cold ... I'm more than tempted to blow off everything and take a hot bath. Followed by digging out my flannel jammies and snuggling under a pile of blankets, complete with hot cocoa and those Swedish ginger cookies from Costco (OH! Those are GOOD!!).

I mean, it's really pitiful that I'm having to chafe my fingers warm as I'm sitting here typing. It's not like the heater isn't on. It is. It's just a cold day.

Also, I love how Bunny refers to the space created by the curtains and the toybox (almost like a little windowseat-haven) as her castle.

Also, also, I totally laughed the other day when she was trying to entice me to let her watch Aladdin the other day, "It haaaaas Princess Jaaaasmine in it," she wheedled. Where on earth could she have learned that? :P

In other news, as I WAS feeling less than Christmas-sy yesterday, we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special and Joy to the World ... and I cried, just a little. A happy cry.
Now I need to watch Mr. Kruger's Christmas [watch it online here - YouTube)(Hello? Jimmy Stewart?? I LOOOOVE him!!! I need to buy, like, ALL of his movies. Srsly).

But, yes. And I will probably be watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Mr. Kruger's Christmas" sometime this week. Because they make me happy. And I can make some egg nog and some cookies and sing carols and feel like it's Christmas. 
(Even though Nature has sent me that gag-gift. Time to break out the valerian! And, yes, it DOES seem to help a lot. I have actually been able to SLEEP, can you believe it?? And I don't quite feel like I have a head full of angry bees telling me what a loser I can be. ... I'll have to ask Michael if I'm showing less of the crazy. He'll give me an honest answer. ^_^) (Seriously, Love. I know you read my blog. Just tell me in the comments, so everyone won't be wondering. ^_^)

So ... since I'm curious ... what are some of your favorite Christmas/Holiday traditions?

Other, other news ... we hung stockings! They look very nice in a vertical line along a corner. Yay for my husband!

4:10 ... and awake ...

Just put Bunny back to bed (after letting her cuddle a while since she woke up wet ... then I had to change her sheet).

Not like I was really sleeping well before.

Why is it that a good portion of my nightmares concern a fake experience in high school --- where I haven't gone to a class (usually math) in WEEKS ... in so long that I can't remember at all when I last went to class ... and that I have CHAPTERS to catch up on in homework ... and I know that I'm going to get an F and that I'll be grounded and Mom will be disappointed. And I won't graduate or get scholarships or be able to go to college at all.

Because, IRL, I never skipped class. Not even in college (well, there was one day when I didn't go to Science. But that was because I got mixed up on which one day class was cancelled. I was in the same building, reading a novel in the hallway, on the mixed-up day. Oops.).

So, added to this was that I had a roommate and we had dorms ... and my roommate was Asian (must have been Japanese, based on name. All I remember is that she was NOT Chinese and that had something to do with her passport status, according to this running dialog by her parents) and her name was Suziki Gijo ... and I had such problems pronouncing her last name. I would walk the stairs chanting her last name under my breath just to practice it. And it was supposed to be pronounced like Zhee-BOH or something that didn't seem right to my Anime-trained ear.

And I was having a conversation with Frau Pingle (my RL HS German teacher) and I was having SUCH a hard time drawing on my German vokab ... And I almost called her by my college German teacher's name.

Once I woke up from all that, though ... it takes me a second to regain my state of mind. Because I am still, upon awakening from this bad dream series (since it happens pretty regularly), fretting about how to make up my math class.

Then I start to remember that I HAVE graduated from high school. Nearly a decade ago, now.
And college, five years ago. I don't have any classes where my grades will matter ... and I might never have any ever again.

But, really, what is UP with these crazy dreams?

And why am I still awake?!?

Good weekend, busy weekend

SO, I got most of the dishes done. Still have a crapload of laundry to fold ...

We got the van loaded up and drove a (very rainy) drive down to visit Nana, where I proceeded to totally slam the back of my head with the trunk door. Ow. I said a very bad word.

And, really, generally I do my best to avoid bad language ... but, oh my dears, when something REALLY HURTS, sometimes a bad word for "poop" seems to really help one get over a painful instance.

We had a nice visit with Nana ... the kidlets received their Christmas gifts from her (since she won't be coming up for Christmas. :( ) and have had much fun playing with them. Bunny's especially enjoying the set of play-dishes that Nana gave her. And Bruise is enjoying the battery-operated trucks.

We then went to my Mom's and my stepdad's house ... where we ate more. (Because, in our families, to love you is to feed you. Yes, food = love. And that can explain the size of my butt at present. Because, oh my dears, I am FULL of love.) The kids played, we put them to bed,  went to bed ... woke up in the middle of the night with a little boy who had pulled a certain appendage out of his diaper and was, therefore, SOAKED (at around 1 A.M.), then to a little girl who wet through HER diaper a few hours later ... and the little man was in bed with us for most of the night  ... his sister climbing in at around 5 or so ... So, yeah, I really could have slept better. :P

Woke up to find that snow had fallen during the night ... and kept falling in little flurries during the morning. Which was nice. Bruise and Bunny learned quickly the art of throwing snowballs.

We went to see my Dad and L ... Bruise did laps around the living room, Bunny watched cartoons with a near-hypnotic stare. We drove back to go to my cousin S's baby shower. 
In a card from her dad and her step-mom, her dad wrote, "You done me proud." 
(cue: Awwwww!! Because her dad, though such a SWEET, SWEET man, is not a very outspoken man. So, I just about near teared up over that.)

Then we left from there and drove back home. Which went pretty well. Especially since the kidlets slept a good chunk of the way home. (YESSSS!!!!) Filled up the gas tank ... which wasn't too bad, since gas is so much more reasonably-priced than a few months earlier ...
(Although I STILL long for the days when I started driving ... and it was at 99-cents/gal for a bit. *sigh*)

As we are at home, I go to get a package of Ramen ... and unleash an unholy avalanche of wrapped-noodle-packages on my head. Yup ... it appears that getting smacked in the head is my theme for the weekend. Let's hope that I break that habit today, yes?

Also fun -- As Bunny was playing with her dishes after we got home, I had her stuffed penguin toy. I had it ask her to hold it and hold it and hold it ... finally Bucket got a little fed up and says, "No. Not now. I'm cooking!"

Um ... I wouldn't know where she learned that from.

No clue at all.

(Good thing I don't have any recording devices live around here!!)

Hail the Prodigal!

It's not that I don't love you. Really, it isn't.

I've just been a little busy.

I can't even remember when I last blogged, so we'll do some bullet points (without the bullets).

- Saturday, I helped out with the creche for about an hour or so. I SCULPTED.
I am not a sculptor. I didn't know if I could.
But it turns out that the copious amounts of time I spent as a young'un, playing with play-doh, have paid off. Because when I made a little GOAT, people could TELL that it WAS a goat. And that made me feel good. Also recognizable: a camel, a dog, a cat, two mice, a bird (which bore a strong resemblance to a rubber ducky, which is neither here nor there, because ducks ARE a kind of bird), an owl, and a little shepherd holding a lamb. ... Which were all added to the previous sculptors' nativity scene. Which other people kept trying to give me credit for.

And did I mention that I did all that standing in Biblical-style wear?
Because I did. And it was fun.

Maybe I should take a pottery class. I've always wanted to. It'd be fun to learn to actually throw a pot (in a way that does NOT involve violence or tranjectory paths).

- Bunny told one of her Nursery leaders (at church) the story of Jonah, with minial prodding from me. She also has informed us that her favorite Scripture story is "de Akk un" ("The Ark one.") So now we know. :P

- My mom and aunt came to visit for a few days, so I HAD to clean my house. And I did rather alright, if I may toot my own sousaphone.

- When we went to a bra-fitting (which I've done before), Bunny kept telling me, "No, Momma, no!! Don't take your shirt OFF!!! Put on your shirt!!!" Which I found rather hilarious. And I promised her that in a decade or so, when she develops breastables, that I will take her to get a good-fitting bra.

-I noticed today that when I slouch, because I have that mom-pooch that takes over my WHOLE abdomen, I can look about six months pregnant. So I'd better not slouch. 
I also better start working out.

-My brother-in-law, C, had a kidney stone. 

-Storytime at the "big library" went well. Thanks be!

-We got a tree. And it's really, really nice. I need to water it.

-My cousin's baby shower is tomorrow.

-We're working our way through the TV series Pysch. It's pretty excellent. LOVED Season One. We're getting through season two.

Today, Bunny made me laugh by demanding that I say hi to her toy penguin. Then, she put on that fake-voice and had the penguin talk back to me. Total LAWL there.

Bruise is talking more and more. Yesterday he was SO! EXCITED! that he could spell and say a word in the letter 'O' book that Mutti (my mom) had printed out (I colored) and she put together with him.

Also, in the new PetCo, my mom had grabbed a little kid-sized cart, with the thought that Bunny would want to push it. Nope. My daughter climbed into the little cart. We tried to get Bruise to push it, since he LOVES to push carts. Nope! He climbs in with Bunny. ... So there I am, bent mostly double, pushing two toddlers wedged into a kids' cart.

Well, I need to do the dishes ... and I figured out why the house smells vaguely like pee when the heater's on (I thought maybe the cats peed in a vent -- happened at a different house, with a different cat -- or maybe one of the neighborhood cats was marking the heat pump as its territory ... Seems that my children  may be spilling their potty as they try to get it in the toilet, since they WANT to be independant.)  ... I've folded a little laundry ... but I have so much mroe to do ... and, truly, little-to-no desire to DO it ... but I'd love to have it done. 

On the bright side, I read my newest issue of Cosmo (yay for a free subscription offer!). Meh. There are always a few things that are fun ... but mostly not. Which is why I like Glamour, instead. Which is still another guilty pleasure.
As is blogging. ^_^

Funny quotable from last night ... as Bruise and Bucket were giving us our hugs and kisses good-night, Michael says, "Wow, little boy. You have soft lips!"
(Hey, I already knew that. I try and get as many kisses from Bruise as I can. Before he gets old enough to want to have nothing to do with me. Or tries to put worms in my bed or something.)

Another funny: It's hilarious when my kids sing in the shower. They were BELLOWING their ABCs. Which was pretty awesome.

Map Tag

So, my Bri tagged me ... the gist is you go here and make a map of which states you've visited (For me? A sorry few, considering how long I've lived here in the U.S. -- my WHOLE LIFE!!). Then you tag whoever you want.

Well, here's my map:

create your own personalized map of the USA or write about it on the open travel guide

And, I'll let you know, I've also been to British Columbia, a very lovely province. And I'd like to go to PEI, since I have a soft spot in my cold, shrunked heart for a certain spunky, red-haired orphan that I wanted to BE!!!

create your own personalized map of Canada or write about it on the open travel guide

And for the tagging? Well, if you know me at all, you know that I'm not going to force you to do anything that you don't want to do. ... BUT if you DO want to do it, just leave me a note in the comments, okay?

She's growing up, isn't she?

Here's a conversation between Bunny and myself the other day:

Bunny: Mommy, I wear my princess shoes (sneakers with the Disney Princesses on them) when I get married.

Me: Huh? Um, I think your feet will be a bit bigger then. We can get you some bigger Princess shoes, okay? When are you planning on getting married?

Bunny: I get married in dad TEMPLE!! (points to the picture of the Portland Temple on the wall).

Me: That's good. I'm glad that you want to get married in the temple. That's where Mommy and Daddy got married ... but I actually asked you WHEN you wanted to get married. Are you getting married today?

Bunny: No.

Me: Tomorrow??

Bunny: No.

Me: Before Christmas???

Bunny: YES!

Me: Um, Bunny, If you want to get married in the temple, you have a few years to wait. You can't get married in the temple until you're AT LEAST sixteen (with parental consent ... which, if it's up to Michael, probably won't be forthcoming until she's at least thirty. :P), if not eighteen or older. ... Hey, who are you going to marry? Is there a boy you have in mind?

Bunny: *goes over to her brother* I marry Bruise!

Me: No. No. That is wrong and ILLEGAL in so many different levels.  ... ... Is there another boy that you're NOT related to that you want to marry already?

Bunny: *thinks*

Me: How about [Boy in their church class ... born on the same day. From a nice family. His mom would be a fun lady to be related to through marriage. Even though she's cuter and skinnier. But I can handle that. It's not like it's a CONTEST, right?]?

Bunny: Okay!

So, yeah ... my little girl has watched Cinderella (or, as she says it, "Swinder-Lella) too many times and is planning on LEAVING ME ALREADY!!!

Good thing that she isn't quite adept at writing her own name. You have to be able to do that to get a marriage license.  And I don't think that she has quite enough to afford one, anyways, in her piggy bank. Phew. ... That and she and whoever she got married to ... well, they can't afford an apartment, especially without any credit history. Phew!

At least Bruise assures me that he's not in any hurry to get married. Phew.

(And Bunny and I have just had a conversation where she said she wanted to get married so that she could go to school. Once I told her that she didn't have to be married to go to school, she was willing to live with us for a few more years. Phew.)

Geez, am I THAT bad to live with? :P

Duuude ...

Best. Day. Ever. 

For this guy. 

Good for him!!

And I love how Drew Carey's SO excited for him, too. That made me happy.

Nabbed from John Green's website ... It's a meme ...

Since I don't have anything AMAZINGLY wonderful to post (Sorry, still waking up), I'm going for the survey. And if you click on this post's title, you can read John's hilarious answers. (I think his answer to #21 is my personal fave. #7 is great, too.  Nerfighters, ftw!!)

1. What's your name?
Allanna ... and has been since the day I was born. Would have been for longer, except the doctors were SURE I was a boy.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
I would LOVE to go through life in adorable sundresses with sleeves ... but I usually settle for jeans, a couple of T-shirts (layering=good) and socks with running shoes or Birks (beacuse here in Oregon, you can do that. The Oregon thing that I don't usually do -- shorts with a parka. Mostly because I wear capris. And I can wear jeans year round, most years. So ... don't look at my legs when direct sunlight hits. You'll regret that until the snow-blindness wears off.)

3. Last thing you ate?
Um ... I had Spanish rice with chicken cooked in a tomatillo salsa. It was yummy. May also have some for breakfast.

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
I don't know. Probably Hell's Kitchen, since I would find hearing the staff being yelled at VAIR distracting. Especially for how much it'd cost to get in there.

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
"Okay, whatever. I've got a good book that I need to finish. And one, just in case I do finish it in transit."

6. Last person you hugged?
Bruise. He was snuggling on my lap.

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
I would certainly hope that Michael does. 

When he's not picking apart my botched pop-culture references, that is. :P
(I obviously do not know the difference b/t Exorcist and Poltergeist ... and my sports references leave much to be desired. But y'all still love me, right??)

There may be other people ... but that'd all kinda of messed up. Seeing as how I'm a happily married lady with babies and all.

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
Back in the day ... I might. After I'd met them in public about eleventy times. I'm kind of neurotic. And against being killed by a psycho ... stuf like that.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
I love that I don't pluck my eyebrows to remove unibrow.
I pluck for shaping the underbits of my brows.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
I think it was going through the drive-thru at McDonald's.

11. Who is your best friend?
My Michael. But I have other wonderful friends.

12. What time of the day is it?
8:31 A.M.

13. Who/What made you angry today?
I would say more annoyed, per se ... but my children. Because my house is all messy and they hit each other. 

14. Baseball or Football?
Neither, really. ... I'm not all that into sports. But we did have a great time taking the kids to a baseball game last summer. 

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes. Alone.

16. Favorite type of Food?
I really do love me some mashed potatoes. I could take a pot of mashed potatoes and curl up in a corner and be insanely happy.

17. Favorite holiday:
I really do love me some Christmas -- says the girl who cried while telling her babies about Jesus last night. Because, oh, I really do love Jesus. Because He is SO awesome and selfless and wonderful. And I'm so glad that my babies love Jesus, too.

18. Do you download music:
(said a la one of the guards in Labyrinth) Um .... yeeeees?

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yeah ... but they're always looking dirty on the bottom.
So ... I care, but not all that much.

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
I really don't have much of an opinion of them.
But I do think that you should get a trusted opinion of the translation thereof BEFORE you get one done.

21. Would you date the person who posted this?
Since John Green and I are both happily married (to other people), I'd say no. Not that he isn't a wonderful guy.
But it would not be right not proper. But I will happily hero-worship from afar. ^_^

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Do you count when I fell asleep on Michael's lap as he was driving us back to our college town ... and when I woke up, he was singing?
(Shut up, I do count that.)

23. Do you love anyone?
Yes'm!! VERY much!

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
Uh ... I guess. I don't know. I've never been attracted to anyone due to colored contacts.
Every so often I think of trying some on ... mostly for costuming purposes.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No. Because (1) it's expensive and (2) I have this fear that I'll pee myself while doing it.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
No.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Only if you count a slightly-creepy uncle (by marriage) who was inebriated.
Yeah, that's all levels of weird.

28. How many pets do you have?
Two cats. Four pets total, if you count the kids.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
I think my stepdad would qualify. And I have family that would fit the bill in a few ways. 

30. How is the weather right now?
Chill, but clear.

31. What are you listening to right now?
The kidlets watching Wall-E and my sporadic typing.

32. What is your current favorite song?
At this exact moment, "Peace on Earth/Little Drumer Boy" by David Bowie and Bing Crosby ... and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" performed by Tori Amos.

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Right now, Michael and I are in between episodes of Season One of Psych ... and I also watched The Children's Hour, which is not a happy movie.

34. Do you wear contacts?
I never have.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
My friend Dianne's ... where she fully spoiled me as I went over to see her new die-cut machine and borrow Biblical-type garb for the Creche tomorrow.

36. What are you afraid of?
Spiders. Having no money. Being alone (as in Michael dying and leaving me by myself. I don't want that.)
I also get weirded out when guys hit on me. Possibly due to question #27. ... In one way it's flattering. In another it's totally messed up.

37. How many piercings have you had?
My ears have been pierced twice. I'm (STILL, for around eight years) letting the second holes grow back.

38. What piercings do you want?
I have all that I want.

39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
If you're to a point where all your problems can be solved by (if) you have the money to throw at them ... they're not that big of problems, are they?

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I've never ordered anything at Starbucks. I've only really been in one. And that was to ask for a job application. I didn't get the job. Probably because I've never made a cup of coffee. I don't think I've ever POURED a cup of coffee.

(But I have had a few sips in my life. Because I'm a terrible person who is going to Hell. ((Joking!!)) But I like coffee candy ... and coffee-flavored ice cream!)

41. What Magazines are you reading?
I enjoy mental_floss, Glamour, Sunset ... and my guilty pleasure is Cosmo.

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
Yes. More than one. I rather liked the rifle ... the shotgun freakin' HURT!!

43. Are you missing someone?
Yes, I miss many people. Nostalgia hits me hard. I'm not always great about dealing with change.

44. Favorite TV show?
House, Bones, Fringe, JEOPARDY! (And on DVD -- FIREFLY ftw.)

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
No. I really don't. I do like Final Fantasy, though.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
I used to get asked if I was Mayim Bialik -- from Blossom, back in the 90s?
It's the nose, really.

47. What celeb do you look like?
I don't really know. I mostly just look like ME ... like people won't see me for years (and I'll have changed hairstyles and all) and then they'll see me and be all, "Allanna!! You look JUST THE SAME!!"

Maybe you guys can tell me who I look like.

48. Who would you like to see right now?
My Pop-pop. Because I really miss him. And my Grandma Darlene. Because I miss her, too. But, somehow, i've dealt with her death much better. Why is this? I love her just as much.

But John the Beloved would be pretty awesome, too. 

49. Favorite movie of all time?
The Last Unicorn. Or maybe Labyrinth. ... There are others, but those two are about tied for first.

50. Do you find yourself loved?
Yes, very much so.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
*shifty eyes* Yeeeeah ... But, like, who HASN'T?!?

52. Favorite smell?
Books, Michael, my kids when they're freshly washed from the shower, Ginger-cat's fur (yes, I'm sick in the head. Deal with it), lots of food smells ... nutmeg ...

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Butter and salt, please. I can't go being all HEALTHY or anything!!
But I'll also go for kettlecorn!!

54. What's something that really bugs you?
How much consumerism is present at Christmas.
And people who don't like Christmas. You don't have to BELIEVE in JESUS ... but allow us the right to believe as we choose. It's not like we're doing this JUST to offend you. (I'd like to celebrate Hannukah and those other holidays, too! Other cultures are fun!)

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
I liked him back when he still looked like himself ... He's so ... different now. Why can't we go back to before his nose fell off and he became rather odd??

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
Taco Bell. Mostly because Mom and I always claimed it was our favorite restaurant (because we could always afford it. :P) ... and I really do NOT like BK's fries.

57. What's your favorite perfume?
I'm still looking for one. I really enjoy Bath and Body Work's Rice Flower and Shea ... because not everyone wears it, it's a scent that Michael actually likes, and it's soft and pretty. And because not everyone wears it, it's nearly impossible to find. :(

58. Favorite baseball team?
No real idea.

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
No. Nor do I want to.

60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
Maybe 30 hours?

61. Last time you went bowling?
It's been a few years. Before the kidlets were born ... OH!! I remember ... it was during ... um ... 2004 or 2005. It was a Young Marrieds' activity for church. I wore a cute hat. (With EARS on it!)

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Curled up like a cat in the middle of some guy friends' living room in their apartment. I was wearing footie pajamas. It was college. I can't think of anywere that would be stranger.

63. Who was your last phone call?
Michael, as he was out buying groceries.

64. Last time you were at work?
That would have been at least two years ago, if you're talking paid employment. 
If you respect my career as a SAHM, I'm ALWAYS at work.

65. What's the closest orange object to you?
There's a sparkly orange Halloween pencil not two feet away from me at this given second.

And, yeah ... that's the end of the meme. It's only taken me about 30 MINUTES to do that, what with my children NEEDING my attention every five minutes or so. *sigh*
I love my kidlets. ^_^

Things that make me happy ...

SO, in back story, my drea friend Katie, called in a favor -- would I be willing to participate in the creche for her stake (Heck yeah!) ... and so I'd need some Biblical/Ancient Israelite-type garb. Which I didn't have. 

(Now, if they needed someone in 1940s or even 1920s wear, I could have done that. Geez, how inconsiderate of our Lord and Savior to not be born in a era that I have clothing styles from! :P Yes, I'm courting hellfire for that.)

SO, I call my friend, Dianne ... who not only has stuff, but also made letters for the YW bulletin board AND gave me scrapbooking paper and curtains from IKEA ... and is in all ways completely awesome.

In between that time, I've chatted with Roxy about out bridesmaid-ing duties and the clothes and all. She's glad that I was able to put in my two cents to get us shoes that cost $15 ... rather than the $43 shoes (which are LOVELY, don't get me wrong ... but after spending over $100 on the dresses, we're feeling the pinch of the economic situation, if you get my drift).

(Even better for me? These shoes are just about exactly the same as a pair that I have. Which I've gotten the $30+ use out of ... and look very well for thier age. So I'm SAVING another $15!!)

AAAAAANNNNNDDDD!!! I called up David's Bridal and they WILL alow me to trade in the (VERY SHEER) chiffon shrug/jacket for a different style that will cover my garments and look better!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!

(Also, my dress -- well, top and skirt -- fit quite well. Maybe I can just get Jo-Jo or Dianne to hem it for me ... and I'll be GOLDEN!!)

And I only have to buy a TIE for Bruise to wear ... Bunny's flower girl dress is all taken care of... I'll need to buy some nude-colored sheer hose ... I'll do Rox's and my hair and make-up ... thi is going to be good. 

(Well, it'll be GREAT once I get the bridal shower completely planned. And we'll have fun, regardless on the girls' night out that we'll have -- I don't have to go to a bar!! I can take the minor bridesmaid home!! And I have wonderful other friends who are compiling lists of the good bars that the bride and other bridesmaids can go to!! I am ON FIRE!!!! This is going great!!!)

I'm, like, maniacally-giggly-happy ... I don't have to swallow the cost of a shrug that won't work. I DON'T have to buy expensive shoes (not that I wouldn't like to buy shoes ... but I want my babies to have Christmas presents w/o their mom being a complete insomniac over how we'll pay off the credit cards and all. You know what I'm talking about, right?). I'm feeling GOOD. And it's so nice!!

AND!! And!! I found an online program that works GREAT for turning the .pub files that I have the YW calendars in into .pdf files! Yay!!!!! Now I can get those emailed out!!! Score!!!!!

The only way things could get better is if I simutaneously receive a gift of thousands of dollars AND a third bedroom spontaneously appears in our house.

(See, self ... good things happen when you actually read the scriptures, you doof. Do it more often, okay? It's MUCH cheaper and better for you than Prozac.)

But, yes ... in a nutshell, I have excellent friends. Excellent, I tell you!!
And I love it when I can save money. It makes me INSANELY happy.

Like new-book happy.

Also, also: If you haven't watched the TV show Psych, you seriously should. We watched two episodes yesterday. It's flippin' HILARIOUS and I like it very much.

As you were.

When they're NOT working that nerve ...

I like it when my children work hard to communicate well.

Bunny came in a minute ago in a different shirt. When she saw my calculating expression ("Why isn't she wearing  the shirt we dressed her in this morning????"), she said (and used very nice hand motions to stress the importance of her statement:

I have new shirt on, Mommy. My other shirt got wet.  My sparkle-shirt got wet, so I put on new shirt.

And I asked her, levelly, "HOW did your other shirt get wet?"

I spray my hair to comb it in the bathroom. And my sparkle-shirt got wet.

"Okay. Your hair looks very nice. Cany ou put this bag of hair pretties on your bathroom counter, please?"

Or how Bruise was singing earlier:

A-B-C-D- Little Star ... How I wonder -E-F-G

Yeah, there are times (in between the wanting to rip out my brain to STOP. THE. WHINING. or the bemoaning the time that I could be sleeping/reading/not buying diapers) that being a mom is TOTALLY where it's at (And, no, Beck. I do not have two turntables and a microphone.)

(And, yes, everyone else, I do totally realize how much that lyric-quote has dated me.)

Sad news

As I've linked in the title, our oldest apostle, Joseph B. Wirthlin has shuffled off this mortal coil.

He was 91. His wife died almost three years ago ... so, on the one hand, it's awesome that they're reunited and all ...

But, dang it! I really LIKE Wirthlin. Because he's all sweet and nice and I like him!!

And I know that I'm being completely selfish (and I'll continue to be, so don't try and tell me that I'm not. I've accepted this fact), but I get SAD when people die ... because I don't want them to leave me. And I MISS them.

I mean, I know that we'll all be ressurected and all. But I still get sad. I'm still sad about President Hinckley (I LOVED that cute, wonderful old man), and conference just doesn't seem the same without Elder Neal A. Maxwell and his extensive vocabulary.

And, hell, I get all teary-eyed and verklempt with how much I miss my Pop-pop and Grandma Darlene.

I do have a testimony of the ressurection -- that death is not the end of existence, of love, of family or other relationships.  I know this. I have faith in this knowledge. It gives me hope.

But it still totally bums me out. Because I hate having to say goodbye for a period of time. (Hell, I get all sad when my friends move away ... and they're still alive!!)

So, yeah. I'm going to miss Elder Wirthlin and his conference talks. I'm glad that he's back with his wife and that he went easily at the end of a long and full life ... and that he had some family there. I'm glad that he was able to continue living life up to the last.

But I don't have to be happy that I don't get to see him in General Conferences anymore, right?

(Maybe this is because of how I tend to "adopt" friends as psuedo-family. I think of a good deal of my school teachers as almost-aunts and -uncles ... President Hinckley was practically a grandfather/father figure ... President Monson has taken on that mantle ... and the apostles are rather like uncle-figures, too.  Is this messed up or just ... I don't know. It's how I seem to work, anyway. Maybe this is why I just don't get racism and crap like that ... under it all, we are all the family of the human race, children of God ... why can't we just get that through our heads and start treating each other like it, dammit?)

(*sigh* For a post where I talk about faith, tesitmony, and the church, I sure swear a lot. Why is that? Discuss.)

Strange questions

My stepdad, who has known me for HOW MANY years ... well, he asked my mom, 
"So, is Allanna a natural redhead?"

Um, my hair isn't red. And there was only, like, ONE YEAR when it was ... I've been sporting my natural hair color for the last, what, two and a half years. 

Most of the time that he's known me, I've been a blonde. 

Sometimes I really wonder how bad his head injury is. 
Good thing I love my stepdad.

Strange questions

My stepdad, who has known me for HOW MANY years ... well, he asked my mom, 
"So, is Allanna a natural redhead?"

Um, my hair isn't red.

Belated Thanksgiving stuff

I think that from gorging myself so during the holiday, that I've gained about ... oh ... ten bazillion pounds.

But when you're surrounded by delicious food, what is a girl supposed to do?!?!?

BUT, I kept meaning to get around to making a list of things I'm thankful for this year ... and, by golly, I'm going to do it!!

1. My family - I've got a wonderful husband that puts up with me all the time, children that (mostly) make me laugh, and relatives that love me and treat me well. It's GOOD.
2. My sister-in-law that made juvenile jokes with me as we tried to make up storylines that made the scenes in "Stephen King's The Stand" a little more child friendly
   "Oh, they're HUGGING. Isn't that nice??" "And that face he made right there? That's because Michael Keaton totally just let one rip." "Yeah, I'd make that face, too. Especially if I lost consciousness like he did." "Oh, I think he's taking a nap. ... After playing in the fingerpaints and getting messy."
3. HAM. Because it is delicious.
4. Holding H, because (even though I didn't get baby envy, but) it seems like maybe I've learned something by having two babies of my own. (If you haven't read it already, RUN and get a copy of "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Seriously. LIFESAVER!!!!)
5. Seeing my Nana ... and that Bunny gives her hugs and kisses readily.
6. That my kidlets are as excited to see my family as I am.
7. That my kidlets pray for their whole family
8. That, when Bruise prays, he says "Big Grandpa" instead of "Great-Grandpa." It makes me laugh.
9. How Bunny tells stories. It must be in the genes.
10. How I can see bits of my childhood self in my children.
11. That I have the chance to help them be better/cooler/less-crazy-in-the-head than I was/am.
12. Church. Because it makes me happy. ... Even though some of my family and friends don't understand how it can.
13. I'm able to serve with the Young Women. It feels like home. It's like my reward for serving in Cub Scouts (I was not always the most effective ... or the best fit. I enjoy my girls so much. I get the chance to get to know them ... which I never seemed to get to do with the boys.)

Going with that, here's the story for today --

I was sitting on the couch in one of the foyers in the church. K and J came and sat by me and we chatted. Then A.O. came and sat on my lap and said, "Hello, Santa!" in this silly three-year-old-type voice.

So, I give a "Ho! Ho! Ho! What would you like for Christmas?" in the gruffest, Santa-iest voice I can do (i.e., not all that low, gruff, or masculine).

And she says, "I want a pony! Can you give me a pony?!?"

And I go, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" ... because I'm NOT promising her a pony. I don't know if her parents have room for one. And it's not like I have a pony, anyways, to give her.

And she starts cracking up. ... So, whenever we saw each other for the rest of the day, we'd be all, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" to each other. And then we'd crack up and laugh like loony laughers.

And THIS is why I have such an awesome calling. I get to have such fun with my girls.

And the leaders, the other adults, are fun, too.

For example, I was up late ... working on the calendar for YW. And K, our YW prez, had me make some changes (hey, they had to be made. It's not like she's making up stuff for me at the last minute). And in her email, she's all, "I bet you're cursing my name about now, huh?"

So I typed back, "No, I'm not cursing your name. I may happen to be sighing and making significant glances in your general direction ... but that could just be coincidence. :P"

Or how D, one of the teachers, laughed when, in our meeting this afternoon, I described something as "sucktastic." (Well, it WAS!!)

I've got a good bunch. It's tres awesome.

"Humiliation Galore!"

This is not a story that I really relish sharing ... because it'll ruin ANY mental image you have of me being the dainty and feminine creature that I do *try* to be.

But it's just so funny that I'll share it anyways.

First things first: I do not like the fact that I fart. I am a GIRL. Girls do not fart. ... And IF we did, they'd smell of roses and chocolate-chip cookies.

(When dating, you could tell if I was really comfortable with a guy when I'd eat with gusto in front of him [I seriously INHALE food. I eat FAST. Really. I had a girl STARE at me eat my freshman year of high school because she was AMAZED that I could eat that fast without, I don't know, choking or something.] and when I'll use the bathroom when we're together. Because girls don't have bodily functions. We just check out lipstick and hair. *nods* Yup.)

SO, what brings up this story is that (1) I'm getting over a visit from Aunt Flo, per se. My body is returning to normal. But that, combined with (2) my Nana's addictive baked beans ... well, let's just say that I'm not quite my delicate flower self. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

But, Michael and I and the kidlets are in the living room at Mom and my stepdad's. My stepdad, C, is by the TV, in the chair. Michael is in another chair near the piano and I am across the narrow room, on the couch. The kids are flitting through the room like ferrets on a sugar high (Okay, they're not that bad. But they don't stay in one spot for long). ... And ... well ... you can guess what happened. There was no noise ... but there were some noxious fumes. And I didn't want to bring any attention to it ... A minute passes.

Then C goes, "Woah, you might want to change somebody's diaper!!"

I flush a deep red, but try not to say anything ... and I ask Bruise (because, hey! Maybe it IS time for him to get a clean diaper!), "Bruise, are you stinky?"

"No."

"Did you go poopies?"

"No."

I have him come to me so that I can check (because he doesn't always care to TELL me when he IS  sporting a dirty diaper). Sure enough, he's a clean and fresh as a toddler's bumoley can be.

C, by this time has left the room to go ... somewhere. Maybe to tell Mom how stinky her grandchildren are. I don't know. I confess to Michael that I'm the reason behind the stench.

"Why didn't you say so to C?"

"... I didn't want to have to admit it!!!!" I plaintively bleat.

C comes back, "So did you change a diaper?"

"Oh, it was just farts," I assure him.

"Wow."

-----------------------------

Later, my mom's back from resting ... C's out somewhere ... and Michael's with us, watching TV.
I confess to Mom ... who about cries with laughing about my status as a gas giant ... and how C had reacted to everything.

Yeah, my mom loves me. And is sworn to secrecy to not let C know that it wasn't the kids.

So, um, don't tell anyone, okay??

Because I'm a lady. And ladies do not have bodily functions. We are delicate flowers. We'd go into fits of vapors if you even insinuated that we might have ... orfices. Ew!!

But, um ... if you do smell something ... well, I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY!!!!!
*flees in shame!!!!*

Holy Flying Pumpkin

So, let's see ... it's been DAYS ... busy days, since I have blogged.

Now to figure what all I've been up to ...

Wednesday morning was full of cleaning the house, finishing packing, and IMing with Damien.

I also made my first REAL cheesecake. A pumpkin cheesecake. (Go to Ree's site: The Pioneer Woman. It's there.)

Bruise "helped" me make it ... by asking to taste everything that went into it.

"Whazzat??"
"That's brown sugar."
"I haz sum??"
"Okay, buckeroo. Knock yourself out" (As I give him about 1/8 tsp. Hey, I love me some brown sugar. Ate it as a snack one year when I was around seven. Had THREE cavities at the dentist's that year. Oy.)

And, gosh, if he didn't go hog-wild over the pumpkin puree. This boy loves him some pumpkin.
And he enjoyed the fingerfuls of cheesecake batter while it baked ... and before I loaded the last load in the dishwasher.

Bunny watched Cinderella while I went rather nuts and vacuumed and wiped off the TOP OF THE WASHER AND DRYER  ... just in case anyone looked at it and JUDGED ME or something. (Hey, when you have in-laws staying at your place while you're not there to do last-minute cleanings? Well ... if you're me, you go a little crazy.)

Got the place nice looking. Michael's even complimented me on it. Repeatedly. (Since he knows that I'm not all Miss-Merry-Homemaker, like, at ALL.)

Got a calling. It hasn't been announced yet, so I'm keeping it on the DL. But it should be good. And I don't have to give up my YW secretary gig. (Score!!!)

Got to see my cousin, D ... who I haven't seen for a while. I mean, I saw him just over a year ago ... and I barely recognized him. Since I keep this mental image of him as he's like TWELVE. And that's ... oh... a DECADE ago. Geez. Sucktastic cousin = moi. But he laughed about it. Because he's pretty awesome. It was good to catch up with him.

Saw another of my cousins and his wife ... and their baby. Got to hold H (their daughter). I wondered if my kidlets would be jealous. Nope. Bruise walks on by, checking out what's going on. Bunny, however, patted H's head. I asked her if she wanted a baby brother or a baby sister...

She wants both. At once.

Just like Bruise and Bunny.

SO, if it's up to her, I'll be dropping another litter. 

At my dad's, Dad and L got the kidlets a couple of remote-control cars (a school bus and a fire engine). They LOVED them. Bruise especially enjoyed it when I'd drive one and CRASH it into him. Over and over and over. As he'd crawl in a circle ... SLOWING DOWN to let the fire engine crash into him. Weirdo boy. 

It's good that he finds ways to have fun so easily.

My mom's getting over being sick (mostly due to her asthma). Her ears were a little plugged, which led to interesting segues in the conversation

Me: Nana's broken toe is doing better.

Mom: Nana has a boyfriend? REALLY? How nice!

Me: BROKEN TOE.
Mom: Wow, I didn't know that she was looking for a boyfriend.
Me: *louder and VERY clearly enunciating* A BROKEN TOE!!!
Mom: Huh? She has what?? OH!!!

Yup. It's always a good time going home. :P We always have something to laugh about.

Prodigal Blogger

Okay, okay I'm back.

And I'll make up for my PROLONGED ABSENCE (Yes, Bri, I read your comment. :P)

But first, a meme. An ABC of meme-ness-essence

A- Attached or Single- Very much attached. And happy to be that way.
B- Best friends- Michael, my Mom, Terra, Bri, ... Katie, Dianne ... and others. I have excellent friends.
C- Cake or Pie- YES! Jim Gaffigan is right that cake is da bomb. If you haven't seen his stand-up on cake (and how it compares to pie, go thither!! Make haste!!!! Because it is HILARIOUS!!!)
D- Day of choice- Any day that Michael is home. And that I don't have a meeting.
E- Essential Items- lip gloss, books, the interwebs, deoderant, clean underwears ...
F- Favorite color- I'm really digging teal. But since it's the holidays, I love me some fir green, holly-berry red, icy blue, and silver-snowy-white.
G- Gummy Worms or Godiva Chocolate- Depends on my mood. I love me some choccy ... but sometimes a girl NEEDS some gummy worms.
H- Hometown- Canyonville
I- Indulgences- Bubble baths, painting my nails (esp. toenails), blogging (where ELSE do you get to be completely self-absorbed and talk for hours on end and people LOVE you for it?!? :P), reading, shopping, going to see a movie...
J- January or July- January is fun because the kidlets have their birthday. And I can wear sweaters. ... But in July, I can take them to the community wading pool. And not have to pay to heat the house ... And, oh! There are FIREWORKS! ... I really can't decide.
K- Kids- The munchkin brigade: Bruise and Bunny (formerly known as Bucket.)
L- Life is incomplete without- My family. My religion. Sugar. Books.
M- Marriage Date- March 23
N- Number of Siblings- None biologically. 4 stepsiblings. 4 siblings-in-law, with another two added through marriages. And, let's see, at least ten friends that I've "adopted" as siblings. ^_^
O- Oranges or Apples- I like me some Fuji apples. And mandarin oranges.
P- Phobias or Fears- Spiders can freak me out. And I don't like scorpions much either. I also get jumpy in large urban areas with lots of strangers. I'm not much of a city girl. The 'burbs are about as much as I can handle. How sad is that??
Q- Quotes- "When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm even better." Mae West. ... I also like C.S. Lewis, Dorothy Parker, J. Golden Kimball ... and I LOVE to quote movies.
R- Reasons to Smile- I'm breathing. There's nothing in my life that couldn't be solved with just a little more money ... and if your problems can be solved by just throwing money at them, well, they're not THAT big of problems. (Now, if only I HAD all that money avaliable to throw at my problems.... Hmmm...)
S- Season- I like them all, really. Spring and Autumn allow me to wear sweaters. Summer is great when I can swim. And eat fresh peaches. And RASPBERRIES!!!! And winter is Christmastime. And Thanksgiving. ... And I love to eat ... so ... yeah.
T- Tag Friends- No. I refuse! You can't make me!!!!!! (But, hey, if you really want to do this, go ahead. Whatever blows your skirt [or kilt] up.)
U- Unknown Fact About Me- I've never had braces.
V- Very favorite Store- If I had unlimited funds, I'd love to go to Borders/Barnes and Noble, Sephora, Toys R Us ... and then do some clothes shopping -- Sears, Penny's, Macy's and Target.
W- Worst Habit- Oh, I have too many to pick just ONE!!
X- X-ray, Ultra-sound or Mammogram- I think my ultrasounds were the coolest. Cooler than my X-rays, anyways ... haven't had the mammogram experience yet.
Y- Your Favorite Food- Um ... Mashed potatoes? Macaroni and Cheese? I like comfort foods, I guess.
Z- Zodiac- Aries

Meh.

[Dude, how did I end up with so many drafts left unpublished? I'm not really like that. Here's the last one.]

One load of dishes down. Two to go. (Maybe one and a half, maybe.)

Need to vacuum, tidy up the house, pack, clean the catbox, fold and put away clothes, clean up the master bath ... don't eat my children (after Bunny ripped up the corner of a book, it was pretty touch-and-go ... and Bruise refused to take a nap [Not that Bunny did, either] and is MR. CRANKY_PANTS!!!!) ... And I'm tired. I did read a book and take a little nap. 

I also need to try and make a cheesecake. I told my mom that I was planning on doing it. I have everything that I NEED to do it ... I just have to get the kitchen cleaned enough to do it. 

And then REclean it after I do it.

And I hate packing. I always forget to pack something. Once it was clean underwears for me (Good thing my folks all have washers and dryers). Once it was socks or pajamas for Michael.

I usually seem to remember to bring everything for the kidlets. Knock on wood.

I'm tired of whining. I'm tired of the house being messy. I'm tired of not being done with my to-read pile (And with over 1,000 books on it, I don't think I'll be finishing anytime soon).

I probably would feel a little better if I had gotten a shower today. 

Insomnia strikes again!! Lady-stuff and poop discussed. (The poop's not mine, though)

So ... this is not the most MALE-FRIENDLY post ... so, um, if you're not sporting double X-chomosomes, just be aware, okay? I'm not TRYING to skeeve you out. I'm just saying it like it is, okay?

First - I hate my period. Because it fills my head with angry bees, for lack of a better term. I'm hormonal. Moody. I lack motivation ... unless it's the motivation to get depressed about what a jerk/loser/poeser I am, etc., etc., so forth.
Yeah, not a great time to be me.

BUT, here's something funny:

So, I'm the type that I would rather be open with my kids about human biology and such, you get what I mean? It's not like my kids stay away when I'm in the bathroom ... In fact, that seems to be the time that they SEEK ME OUT. (Note to self: Why is that? Srsly, what gives?!?) ...

So, I'm inserting an article of "feminine protection," per se, with the kids quizzing me about completely unrelated things. And Bunny asks, "Mommy, what that??" as I'm tossing away the garbage.

So, to let her know that Mommy's not hemmoraging or HURT or anything, I calmly explain that ladies, when their bodies are able to have babies, bleed. It's totally normal and happens once a month. It doesn't hurt. It's nothing to worry about.

"Ladies? Bleed?"
"Yes."
"Not daddies?"
"Nope, not daddies."

... And later, when I was in the bathroom, she points out and says in a tone full of pity and compassion, "Oh, Mommy, oh. You bleeded your panties. Poor Mommy. Next time you get M."
(Because when Bunny or Bruise pee or poop in their diapers, that's pretty much the talk we give -- 'Too bad you went in your diaper. Oh well. Next time, when you go in the toilet, you can earn an M [M&Ms]'). It made me laugh.

AND I did give her the talk about NOT talking to people about my cycle ... that we do NOT talk to people about our private regions, per se. (I use the anatomical names for them ... which is why, on occasion, my son has come up to me and pointed out his pen!s. ... At least I know that he's listening. As, when I put a diaper on him, he'll tell me that his pen!s needs to be down.)

Oh!! Oh!!! Bruise went POOP on the TOILET!!!!! YES!!!
YESTERDAY night!!!

So he's been happily working at wearing his underwear (insert Bunny's adamant "[Bruise] no wear panties. [Bruise] wear UNDARWAAARES!!!!!) -- Transformers and Thomas the Train, and playing with his new Bumblebee robot.

And, since when the kidlets go poop, I give them five Ms (as opposed to the ONE they get when they go pee) ... I gave Bruise his five hard-earned Ms ... and he immediately gave two of them to Bunny. (cue: AWWWWWWwwwwww!!!!!1!) He didn't have to do that. I know that I wouldn't have. But it was very sweet and warmed my cold, dead heart.

Well, I'm starting to get tired. And COLD. So I'm going to head to bed (again).

But that new pillow is totally doing its job. Yay!

Michael pulled a muscle in his back Sunday, though. Booo!

He stayed home from work to recuperate. (whispered yay!! ... because I like having him home.)

I've gotten through a few books this weekend (double-yay!)
I've also folded a LOT of laundry (another double-yay!!)

I haven't done dishes (Booooooooo.)

Michael still loves me (YAY!!!!!)

I need to pack tomorrow. And make a cheesecake. And have FHE (Family Home Evening). And do the stinkin' (starting to be literal. Ewwww.) dishes. And take the kidlets to storytime. *sigh* I can do it. I can do it. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ....

Can I take credit for that?

You know how people always try to create a word to enter the normal lexicon? ... You know, they say it over and over so that their friends start to use it, then THEIR friends start to use it ... and it spreads ...

How people try to do that?

I think I might have done that. I'm really not sure.

I know that when I coined a term about five years ago, everyone I used it around (and I used it when it came into conversation ... not JUST to use it) loved it, had never heard it before ... and I just read the word in an online article. About James Bond ... Yeah.

The term I created one day was to describe a slutty guy ... because the English language is SADLY lacking a term for it. We have such a double-standard. It's a supposed good thing for guys to sleep around ... but, even after the sexual revolution of the 70s, it's a bad thing for women to do it?
(See, my personal opinion is that NOBODY should be sleeping around. And if you can't manage not to, then FREAKIN' take responsibility for it. And that if it's bad for girls, it should be JUST as bad for boys).

So, I used the term "man-whore" ... because it fit the criteria that I needed. ... And now it seems to be used more and more prevelantly ... Probably thanks to my friend, Karen, who was OVER THE MOON about this gem of a phrase (if I may modestly pat myself on the back. It IS a good term. Especially when passing along Hollywood gossip ... or talking about some literary characters. ifywim. aityd.).

So, yeah ... if you hear the term "manwhore/man-whore/man whore" ... Dude, that was aaaaaaaaall me.

Too bad I can't earn royalties or something for it. *sigh*

But, really, go ahead and tell me what a genius I am for creating such an awesome word.
Because I am just that humble. *wink*

In which I chillax, (still) confess, and rejoice (or work towards it. *grin*)

As assigned by Katie, I shall now write about things that make me happy. 
(And I will also promptly get all teary-eyed about it. I HATE it when Aunt Flo is in town. Because I turn into the craziest woman EVER. No lie!)
(No, really. You can ask Michael. He'll be honest with you!)

So, here goes -- Things that make me happy/Things for which I am grateful:

• Ice cream (As I am shovelling mouthfuls partaking in its excellence and grandeur.
• Chocolate ... especially truffles. And I have extreme longings for the Nutmeg Cremes that were made by a (unfortunately TOO short-lived) candy shop/restaurant in my hometown.
• My family. Because they love me. Even when I am crazy-PMS-woman. Even when I'm a teenaged punk, being all wannabe-rebellious.
• My friends. Because they often know exactly what I need (Katie, thank you again. You're a total rock star. Luv you!!!). Because they make me laugh. Because they make me think (Yes, Brookie-kuns, that's for you!). Because they're just awesome and everything that's wonderful.
• The Church ... because it makes me happy. I like being a daughter of a perfect Father. I like that familes and marriages don't have to be limited to this mortal state. I like that Jesus loves me, even if/especially when I'm feeling unloveable and insignificant.
• Books. Because they're always there and always the same. Better than a dog, since books don't crap on your carpet or eat out of the litterbox -- but they're steadfast and true!
• Shoes -- It's SO much easier to find a pair of shoes that fit and look great than when you're shopping for clothes.
• Make-up - Same deal as the shoes. Cheap, easy, and makes you look/feel super-cute, especially if you're feeling fat. (YES, I am shallow.)
  (I'm not going to tell how many of my lipglosses have been purchased out of "I wanted to buy a shirt/dress/pants, but NOTHING LOOKS GOOD ON ME!!!!!!" ... I also have shoes that are bought for that reason. ... All before we had kids and I had some cash to burn, but still!)
• Baths - When I need a time-out from being a responsible mom, I put the kids down for a nap, run some hot water, throw in pretty-smelling stuffs, and relax with a book... Often looking at our next point --
• My painted toenails. I've come to realize that I feel MUCH more feminine and much more "me" (rather than "a mom" or whatever) when I've painted my toenails. (Why is this?) It's such a small and inexpensive luxury, but it does me a world of good. Even when my little piggies are ensconsed in socks and shoes, just knowing that I have painted toenails is quite a pancea.

That's the ten that Katie stated was the minimum requirement ... Shall I go on? (YES, I do believe I shall!)

• Mexican hot chocolate (or my cheapo-approximation thereof, which is an excellent cure-all: Make your instant hot cocoa, add cinnamon and nutmeg. Breathe deeply. Enjoy.
  And, hey! No hangover! :P)
• Dancing ... though I haven't danced for a while. I really do miss swing-dancing. So, when I drive the kidlets around and we're listening to my iPod, I try to mentally choreograph what I could have done in high school. And, oh, it makes me long to go dancing. My Lindy-Hopping skills are, sadly, quite rusty, though.
• The smell of new books makes me happy. So does the smell of old books for that matter. It smells of ... promise and potential, in the case of the former. The latter, of age and history and soupcon of mystery. (Did I spell that correctly? I don't spell French words all that well.)
• Walking on the beach -- that whole sand-between-my-toes thing ... Best done in warm weather (at least here) ... and it's a really nice way to exfoliate (TOLD you I'm shallow. Really! Not hiding it from you!)
• Massages - the BESTEST thing about when I was in a bit of a car accident? The acupuncture and massage. Oh, the acupunture was good and helped ... but, oh, those massages were divine. I miss Marilyn. (She was a GREAT conversationalist, too!) It's totally excellent, feeling like your muscles are made of butter. Ah, yes.)
  (So, if I go back to school, I'll either be getting a Master's degree in Library Science ... or get a Massage Thereapy license -- 'Cause it's great to make people feel so good.)
• Blue. It's all fresh and open and ... it just makes me happy. Especially teal.
• Green makes me happy, too.
  
• And yellow.
• And pink. 
• Purple, too.
• I like comics. And graphic novels. And manga. ... Could be because they're books. :P
• I like the smell of coconuts ... it reminds me of summertime.
• I love to read magazines and catalogs ... probably a sign of mental illness of something ... and the piles of them are seriously cramping our bathroom's style ... but I love to read about things that I usually don't know about ... or see what people are wearing (maybe there's something that I like) ... and I can go through most catalogs and appreciate stuff in there, and manage not to feel all down that I can't go out and BUY it all right now (or ever). I think I have the most fun flipping through catalogs and picking out what I'd get my mom or a friend or for Michael. I don't know why, but it's wildly enjoyable and makes me happy.
• Free samples. I love me some free samples. It's like a PRESENT ... and most of them are prefectly-sized to go in a purse or diaper bag or for travelling. And did I mention they're like presents?
• Unexpected compliments. It's always nice and refreshing to receive a compliment. (No, if only I could receive them with more grace. I'm working on it!)
• Kittens. I love cats ... but, oh, I miss when there were kittens ... that stage of before-the-eye-and-ears-opened vunerability ... or the stage of kitten-toddlerhood (where they walked into walls, mirrors, furniture ... the little "mews" ... It just melts my cold, dark heart.)
• I, for one, LOVED the face that my Bunny would make when she was fresh from the womb. While we were still in the hospital, she'd finish eating ... then pull away and take a small look around, then ROLL HER EYES -- like she was saying, "I got pulled out of some comfy uterus to come HERE?!? Geez." or something. It totally busted up my puffy, drugged, exhausted self.
• Or how Bruise was just this little jaundiced sleepy bear. He had a total little-old-man face going on ... which was how I immediately knew that I named him well. The name totally fit him. Phew!
• Cats purring. It's like nature's Zoloft or something. The world could be falling down around my ears ... but give me a purring cat and it's all good.
• Having my kidlets fall asleep on me (just one at a time, now, since they're SO much bigger) is also really relaxing.
• Older SNL skits -- The church lady, especially. I have fond memories of watching Dana Carvey as the church lady with my mom. We brag to each other when we get to pull the "Could it be SATAN?!?" line at church. (I got to use it a couple weeks ago!! Squee!!)
• Snark -- especially when it's so well-deserved. Smart Bs are excellent for romance-novel cover snark. And Eric is excellent for satire. And it just makes me happy.

I do feel lots better now. And I have to go "liberate" my children from that torture I refer to as "naptime." 
Give me strength. :P

And I need to make dinner. *sigh*

Wish me luck!