Sittin' in mah robe, yeah ... so, so classy

What, what? I'm blogging without at least a WEEK going by between posts?!??

Craaaaazy-sauce ...

So, I blogged last on, what, Friday?

There hasn't been tons of stuff since then, really.

But I figured that I should blog.
My dreams are starting to get back to "normal" levels of weird (Thanks, Mother Nature! Glad to see you headed off again! Between the acne, insomnia, irrational emotions, and the CRAZY-BUTT dreams, I'm always glad when I return to not having a uterus that's sloughing off that layer. ... Of course, funny (TMI) thing: for a couple years, when they kids would ask what was wrong and I'd tell them that I was on my period, Bucket would crow, "You're PREGNANT?!???" "NO. NO. NOT pregnant. The opposite." And then I'd have to give them a pared-down (but still slightly-horrifying-if-you-think-about-it) version of what exactly goes on in a woman's uterus.

Yes, I've been pretty upfront with my kids about their bodies. I haven't yet gone through the DETAILS of sexytimes or anything (I refer to it, when talking to them, as "sex or sexual intimacy"). ... because, well, I'd rather that they ask me for THAT INFO when they're ready to hear it.

(Says the girl who read the encyclopedia entry about sex when she was six. "Mom, did you know the encyclopedia has bad words in it?!?? They say "penis" and "vagina!" ... Yeah, there's another reason why I use the clinical terms (mostly) when dealing with body parts. Don't get me wrong, I say butt and "frontbottom" and "dainty bits" and "boobs" and all that, too. but I make sure that my offspring are aware what things are really called.)

So, yes, my kids have heard (yes, even Bruise) the info that women have a layer of blood that lines the uterus JUST IN CASE an egg is fertilized, so it can implant and turn into a baby.

In other things I talk to my kids about -- we've talked about pornography (and avoiding it. Or what to do when they DO come across it), homosexuality (and that people who are gay or lesbian are still children of God and we need to love THEM. We don't have to approve of anyone's ACTIONS, but we are all more than our actions, so just freaking love everyone, OKAY?!?? ... Seriously, I don't get how folks do anything else. Weirdos ... who obvs need more hugs.), gun safety, sexual abuse (i.e., don't let people touch you against your will. And, if they do, TELL US. Daddy and I will ENSURE that they are dealt with. In a way that we won't end up in prison. And that their doctor will need to check out their private parts, but that if it makes them really uncomfortable, speak up. And, if anyone DOES ever do something, that's on THEM. It's not the survivor's fault. Seriously. Look in the Handbook for the Church. And, no matter what, you're never so far gone that the Atonement cannot help/heal you. Use it. And we'll still love you no matter what.), and abortion (We believe that it's taking a life. But there are a few times when it could be permissible [mother's or baby's life in peril OR due to rape/incest, which would be because someone overpowered the now-mother's agency ... Don't do it as a convenience because one wants to avoid consequences for one's choice -- that also counts for the guy who impregnates a woman. If you can't handle being a dad, don't ... ahem ... go through the motions. Get it? If you're not ready to be a mom, make another choice. Go play mini-golf or something. Because there's no birth control (other than abstinence) that's 100% effective. ... But, if you find yourself pregnant, there's support and help. Things happen. And it's not like anyone can get pregnant on their own. So we should all be a little more understanding. Everyone should understand that because there ain't NO ONE on earth right now who IS perfect. ...)

Okay, SO, that's a lot more than anyone really cared to know about my mothering methods.

But, yeah, I guess I should outline my main parenting goals:

1. Raise self-sufficient offspring:
   My kids need to know not just how to pass tests and binge-watch Netflix, but how to run a house, create and stick to a budget, cook, clean, schedule a doctor/dentist visit, and deal with the myriad emergencies that life will send them.
2. Raise spiritually-prepared offspring:
   They will need to have their OWN testimony and to be able to feel and recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I'd prefer that they learn from the mistakes of all who've gone before them so that they don't have to learn all the hard life's lessons on their own.
3. Raise offspring who know where to go for answers:
   Let's face it, I know that I'm not always going to be around. And, heck, I don't know even HALF of the answers. (Heck, I hardly even know the QUESTIONS in the first place.)
   I want Bruise, Bucket, Bubbles (and and others who may ever come along, if there ARE any) to know HOW to research and find information. And, for what they can't find on The Google, I want them to know how to research in BOOKS and through PRAYER and by asking OTHER PEOPLE for advice ... and to be able to compile it all to find the best answer for them.
4. Raise well-adjusted offspring:
   I know, when they come from such odd folks as their dad and me, this is a challenge.
   But my goal is that they can be COMPASSIONATE and caring and kind; that they can handle when life isn't always fun or easy.
5. Raise good citizens:
   If there's a bad law, I want them to go about peacefully and lawfully to make the changes that need to happen. I want them to be involved and to know what's going on -- so they CAN help be a force for good. I want them to have a desire to (and the motivation to carry it out) help others. 
6. Raise joyful offspring:
   I want them to be able to appreciate the good things, to have that attitude of gratitude. I want them to be able to find joy and peace in everyday things, to find CONTENTMENT. I want them to be able to see the beauty in a sunset, the waves of the ocean, a baby's laugh ... and to be able to share that happiness with all whom they come in contact with.
7. And I want them to use good grammar, too. And have marketable skills. And to only have the barest amount of sorrow that will allow them to recognize joy, the merest modicum of stress, fear, and anger so they can KNOW when they have peace ...
8. I want them to have cars that never break down, a bank account that covers all their needs without any overdrafts or debt, bodies that always work as desired and fit into whatever fashions they like best COMFORTABLY, a house where others are glad to gather, friends who are always loyal and honest, AND A PONY (or whatever else they want).

Yeah, I don't care if they're doctors or Nobel Prize winners ... but I want them to be happy, healthy, kind, intelligent, content, wise ... If they all want to be circus performers, that's fine, as long as they can all make enough to support themselves and their families (and maybe their parents ... in the lifestyle in which we'd like to become accustomed, ha ha ha).

Okay, I've blathered on about mostly nothing for long enough.
I should go get more laundry done, clean the hall bathroom and the kitchen (don't worry, I'll wash my hands between those two!), get a shower, read a book, and a million other things that all should BE done. Good times, right?

Even Longer (aka. "Not Dead YET")

Yeah, I'm totally sucking at ... well, really most everything. But especially blogging on a regular basis. (I mean, every day might be overkill ... but even just ONCE a week would be better, right?)

(Then again, I have some friends that haven't blogged in months/over a year ... so I SUPPOSE that I'm doing okay after all. But only by THAT comparison. And we aren't really supposed to compare ourselves to others all that much, right?)

(Whatever.)

OKAY ... so ... what all is going on.
So, let's see ... and I don't know that I'll be going in any particular order.

Forefront on my mind is that the Facebook group for my friend Kim McDaniel, the one who passed last month, might be closed/gone.

And, when I got that news the other day, I just about lost my breath. Because, well, it was one thing that we all had left of her. Sure, people aren't posting a whole lot. ... But, and I only know what I do, since I'm not THAT good of a stalker, but I know that I'd go and look over pictures that people had posted. Or reread some of the stories that people shared about her and her life/influence.
And, well, my first response was, "Oh no. I'm not ready." The thought of it disappearing into the void was like losing her all over again.

My mom was there when I read the post about closing that page. And, since she always has good advice (though I don't always take it), I did go and download some of my favorite pictures of Kim.
And I'll post what I shared, so that you can know a little more about my friend.

While Kim was living in [our town], I was blessed by the opportunity to be one of her Visiting Teachers (in fact, I was really bummed when she was transferred to another route). It gave me an opportunity to ask her if she was sincere when she announced at a ward social that she was into gangsta rap -- since it was announced in a tone that COULD have been sarcastic.

She was always full of humor. I'd say that she was a force of nature embodied -- she's great. It was a highlight to go visit her. I know that she was always very concerned about asking for any help -- feeling that people might/would feel that she was taking advantage. I never felt taken advantage of. In fact, in talking with other members of the ward, we would have loved to have had more opportunities to serve her and her family. We love them.

I loved sitting by her in Relief Society ... and I'll confess that when we sat together, I did not listen to the lesson nearly as much as I should. But we tried not to be too loud or distracting.One time, Kim came over for a baking day. We made cinnamon rolls. She ended up sharing a good portion of those she made with the staff at her doctor's office ... which is just like Kim. She was considerate and kind like that.

Tuesday, I was making some cheddar biscuits. And a thought forefront on my mind was, "Oh, when Kim's better, we have to make these together." (We were overdue for another baking day. We were going to have one together and try our hand at something savory. But it had been postponed for about a year, due to busy schedules and her health.) I knew that these were the biscuits that she and I should make together WHEN she was better. I didn't care if it would take a year, ten years, forty years ... but-- dang it -- we HAD to make these.

Then, the next evening, I got the news.

So, well ... thank goodness for the resurrection and all ... I'm just going to have to wait for a while longer to make those biscuits with her.

She and I would also trade links for funny videos on YouTube. One of her absolute favorites was the Jimmy Fallon/Will Ferrell "Tight Pants" skit. She's right. It is really hilarious.

I miss her. And our ward is really, really so sad that we didn't get to keep her for longer. Which speaks volumes about how wonderful she is and how much she means to us.

But, yes, there -- in a nutshell -- is my Kim.
Michael still thinks that I should have gone to the funeral. But ... well, I don't know. I don't like crying in public. I had responsibilities here. It was a really long drive ... And, more importantly, it wasn't going to bring her back.
But, using the Purex fresh-scent crystals, when I smell our laundry, it's almost like she's around. Just her scent.
Taking the warm laundry out of the dryer, it's almost like getting a hug from her. which still makes me feel special, since she was (self-professed) not huge on hugging people. But I would get hugs from her.

So, there's that. And I realize that it's been over a month. And that is a very long time. And a very short time. And I know that I wasn't as close to Kim as I should have been, as her friend. I feel that I SHOULD have been more aware ... more ... something. Better, anyways. 

And I know, also, that she'd tell me to cheer up and that I was doing fine. 
But it doesn't bring her back, you see. And I hate having to MISS people.
I mean, it's bad enough when people move away (or I move away). BUT we can always call, text, mail letters, connect on Facebook ... all that stuff. Or that we could manage to be in the same place at the same time and SEE each other.
Dealing with death, though ... I just don't like it that people go somewhere too far to contact directly (at least that I can't hear them or see them or hug them or whatever). It's just not fair that they go somewhere that I can't (at least not yet).

... 
...

Well onto less Allanna-is-a-brooding-sad-sack things.

Let's see what all I've been up to lately.

This morning, Bubbles was in the bathroom sink, having spilled all the mouthwash. 
I was ticked off, sure. But the bathroom DOES smell quite minty-fresh. So, there's that.

Bruise and Bucket had their Primary (Church Children's group for ages 3-11) Program last Sunday. 
They both read their lines very well (loud enough and clear). They sang with the rest of the kids. AND their Sunday School class (4/5 were there) sang the verses of one song, with the rest of the Primary joining in on the chorus. Michael and Mom were VERY impressed that we could HEAR Bucket quite well (since she's quite stage-shy).
It's really awesome to see how they're growing (and to see Bucket doing so much better in dealing with her nerves. ... Priesthood blessings DO help a lot).

Grandma I (the kids' great-grandmother) and Aunt S (Michael's aunt) came out for a visit, since they live quite a ways away (a couple thousand miles, anyways). We got to hang out with them a bit, never as much as we'd like. But it was good to see them. And we had some family snapshots taken, so that was nice.

We took the kids to the zoo a few weeks ago. There's some (a LOT) of construction happening. A veterinary/zoological  medicine school is going in. They're expanding the Asian elephant enclosure. The train tracks are being worked on. They were resurfacing some of the walkways ... So we did MOST of the zoo. (Not the elephants or the Pacific Northwest exhibits) ... I do rather miss some of the Northern-northern (Alaskan/Canadian tundra) exhibit. But we do quite enjoy having lions at the zoo ... so, well, it's a little bittersweet.
A nice plus, though, was that we ran into Jenny and Joseph and their kids at the zoo. It's been way too long since we've gotten to hang out, so just getting to see them was a bonus, indeed. ^_^

Bubbles had her flu shot. The rest of us should get ours.
Michael will be getting his other wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow ... FINALLY.
They're infected/bad and his last dentist (Aspen Dental, I'm looking at YOU) wouldn't pull them because "they're close to a nerve." So, instead of giving a referral or whatever, this dud was just going to let them rot. ... Which they have been doing for over a year.
Michael's been in a lot of pain.

He finally caved and called K, our brother-in-law, who's a dentist and specializes in extractions at his clinic. Sure, we'll be doing a bit of a road trip, but it'll be worth it for Michael to NOT be suffering on the daily. Poor dude.

The kids brought home their school pictures.
Bucket's looks great. Her hair is even STILL in place.
Bruise's, though, ... his hair's a little disheveled. But the biggie is that he has this half-smile (not showing his teeth at all, so it's almost a smirk) with DEAD EYES.
The boy almost looks stoned, poor thing.
So he'll have retakes this time. Crazy boy.

I had PTC (Parent-Teacher Committee) meeting last week. Took notes. Typed them up and got them back to the staff for translating into Spanish and putting on the website/facebook page. Go me, right?
Last month, the library at the school was PACKED full of parents.
This month, they forgot to schedule the robo-call from the school. So we had maybe a dozen people show. Oops.

Parent-Teacher conferences are coming up. We'll see how that goes. I think everything should be fine. Haven't heard anything bad (Except Bruise telling me that it's difficult to listen/write/speak Spanish. ... I hear you kid, says your mom who keeps trying to respond in German. Can we get the gift of tongues and interpreting of tongues happening here? It'd make it a LOT easier to volunteer in the classroom, translate the PTC notes so that C in the office doesn't have to, and deal with Mr. Ruidoso-Neighbor ... though, honestly, since the police went over, he's been quiet as a mouse. And I do hope that he continues that trend. Bless. ... If not, I gave him a blanket warning. And I'll totes call up our city's finest right away in the future. ... Michael says that he probably has a lot more respect for me now. ... I just want to know what all went down that one night that had at least THREE officers go to their house the next day. Dude ... did he take a swing at one or something?? No freaking idea.)

We had our last dinner with Sister Palmer. She's heading home, since she's reached the end of her mission. Per her request, we had scrambled eggs and German Pancakes/Dutch Babies (which let me FINALLY use my German Pancake pan that I received as a wedding present over a decade ago. :P). I also made biscuits (from a can) and gravy (not from a can) for the omnivorous diners (i.e., everyone else).

Last weekend, Michael drove down to help Dad and L move. They still don't have the keys for their newest place, but there was a place to put things in storage in their new town for the time being.
Dad actually called later to request that I tell Michael and [my stepdad] how much they appreciate their help. ... My dad isn't always quite so thoughtful. So, obviously, L is a good influence on him. Mom and I were pleasantly surprised by this incident. (Go Dad!)

Dad C had a bit of a medical scare ... at first we thought it was a kidney- or gallstone. Turns out it's an enlarged prostate. The doctors are keeping an eye on it.
And we're glad that it's nothing more serious.

While the missionaries (Sister Palmer and Sister Bent) were over on Tuesday, Bruise's spacer (for a tooth that was extracted a couple years ago) came out (again).
However, this time, instead of snapping off, it came off all in one piece, with the cap it is attached to.
I called their dentist's office yesterday morning ... and ended up rushing us all out there.
They glued back on the cap, so the spacer is all back in place. (There was no damage to the capped tooth. No sensitivity to water or air. Everything still fit perfectly.) Got Bruise and Bucket to school just over an hour late.
Bubbles used the potty at the dentist's office. Then wet her pants at home.
She used the potty at the restaurant, when Mom, Bubbles, and I went to lunch ... and filled her diaper at home.
... Maybe I just need to keep her out of the house more? :P

Nursery (the young children's class at church -- ages 18-months to 3-years) is going better. CH and I make a good team, I think.
We've had a smaller class lately. Meaning that there are between 9-12 children in the class (as opposed to the 15-18 that CAN/DO usually show up). And, since T (the other Nursery leader) takes the older ones (who'll be in Primary in January) for most of the two-hour-period, it's been a lot calmer.
We've mostly just been playing it by ear. Pretty lowkey.
Sometimes we get out the play dough or puzzles or cars and dolls ... we have snack and a lesson ... sometimes we have singing time. For the last 5-10 minutes, we sometimes play with bubbles (which makes me a little winded and we're both all drippy with soapy-water by the end of the block). But, yes, it's a lot better than my first month in Nursery.
And I have fun with CH. Lots of fun, really. We're of quite a similar sense of humor. That does help. And I've known her for nearly a decade, so that helps, too. It's a different dynamic, since she was in YW (Young Women's, the girls ages 12-18) and I was a leader (YW Camp director and then YW Secretary) ... but it's still pretty fun. Almost like having a little sister, I suppose.

I've started reading more books lately. That's a good thing. I've missed my daily escape.

Also, on Pinterest, I've gained some followers ... so let me brag.
A couple weeks ago, I got an alert that I Chad Hawkins started following me. And I was all, "why does that name sound familiar ...?"
ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE HIS BOOK (well, ONE of his books, "The First 100 Temples," since my Institute [Gospel Study] teacher, Brother Kirby was quoted in it) ... and I was then quite impressed.

Then, the next week, LDS.net started following my "Churchy Stuff" board. And I was quite chuffed.
THEN, I got a notice that my "Churchy Stuff" board has been added to those followed by LDSLiving.
Could have knocked me over with a feather, y'all. So I feel rather famous. Since I respect all three of those people/organizations.
Which makes me feel that I must be doing something right with that board. (Now just to IMPLEMENT all the awesome scripture-study and other skills/ideas that I've pinned, right? ... And to cook more of those yummy recipes from my cooking board ... and to work a lot of it off from my healthy-type-stuff board.)

The kids all have their costume-stuff. I didn't make anything. I let them all choose. So, there's not really any common theme or anything. Bruise has known what he's wanted to be for a year. Bucket went back and forth between about a dozen choices. Bubbles chose between two things ... I have no idea if I'm even doing anything costume-wise for myself. Oh well.

I think that's most everything that I should put in my brain-dump.

Well, that and I had a fun cameo in my Roxy-sis's dream the other night.
In her dream, she was at a family reunion (no, we're not really related), and started feeling light-headed and passed out, coming to with her cheek on the floor, unable to get up ... everyone was gone.
I prance in, drop a pile of kitty kibble in front of her nose, giggle, and run out.

Which is the kind of surreal thing that happens in MY dreams ... so, well, even when my dream-self goes traveling, at least she's pretty consistent. So, yeah. Good times, yo.

Paddleboats, Pinterest, Parenting, and Disappointment

It's been a busy last few (six) days.

I skipped the playdate last week ... Mom came up and we went out to McDonald's (the kids love it!) ... Bucket ate a salad instead of getting a kids' meal. Her choice. And they all loved playing at the PlayPlace.
We also went to Wal-Mart and got ice cream.

Thursday was a special bank day -- the kids get certain "dollars" for deposits into their savings account to buy some toys/things. And, once a year, there's a day that the toys are on a sale and all the kids who go to the bank get a goodie bag. ... And this was the first year we made it. Bruise got a light-wand (which Bubbles tripped while holding, so that didn't last too long) and a flashlight. Bucket got one of those little purses with a fake dog in it. Bubbles got a little white stuffed doggie and a light-up tambourine.

I also tried to be a good granddaughter and called my Nana. She really can't hear well over the phone, which is unfortunate ... but she did enjoy the fact that I called.

Friday, after we worked at cleaning up a bit, after Michael got home from work, we went to the local play-pool ... and played for a couple hours. Bruise and Bucket went down the huge waterslide a few times. Bubbles got to work on her swimming, since she wasn't wild about climbing on the kids' structure or the little waterslide.
Then she napped HARD at home ... about 4PM until about 10PM ... So we made sure she ate dinner. Then she and I watched cat videos on YouTube for about an hour and I put her back to bed for the night.

Saturday, we were pretty busy. Went to a few stores. Michael helped a family move in. Took the kids to the mall's kids' club (petting zoo, bubbles, painting, sidewalk chalk, and prizes this time. Bruise chose a Hot Wheels car. Bucket opted for little bracelets (which broke within an hour, really), and Bubbles got a little Winnie-the-Pooh puzzle). We took the kids to the paddleboats. Michael went with all three kids while I took pictures from the shore.
I was chatting with another gal. Who mentioned her father's name ... turns out she's the daughter of one of my stepdad's good friends from when my stepdad lived up here. So, we chatted about family (I went to the same ward as her younger brother) ... we're friends on Facebook now. She's a lovely person (I knew ABOUT her for years before we ran into each other. Everyone loves her. As they should).

Then we all went to Costco and to our ward (congregation) BBQ social.
We got home late ... the kids were in bed nearly two hours after their bedtime.
Michael and I watched an episode of Portlandia and soaked our feet.

Sunday started out pretty well. I didn't yell TERRIBLY much. *sigh*
But I also did totally lose track of time while checking my email then starting to read the lessons for Sunday School and Relief Society. Oops.
We were ALMOST late. We left twenty minutes later than I usually do ... but we were still there before the opening prayer. Which tells you how terminally early I am for church on a regular basis. Heh heh heh.

Monday, the missionaries (we have sisters in our ward right now) came over to do laundry. The kids and I had worked to keep the house clean. It worked. (Especially after all the work we did to clean the front rooms before my Visiting Teachers came over Sunday afternoon.)
Good times. We have three great sisters serving in our ward. And it's really nice for Bruise, Bucket, and Bubbles to develop friendships with them and to help serve them.

Mom called, telling me that it didn't look like she could come up this week ... which is doubly sad, since it'd be her birthday, too. So I called my Aunt J so she knew that the trip probably wasn't happening.

It's even sadder when your mom is trying not to cry over the phone. Poor mom. :(

Last night (being EARLY Tuesday morning, I wake up to the home phone ringing.
It's my stepdad. He's not speaking very clearly ... something about "hospital."

I'm awake and it's not even 2AM. I debate on what to do.
I call his cell phone, since he's obviously awake.
He tells me, slurring a little (he takes some strong meds), that he's fallen out of bed and has "broken his hip." Could I call Mom (in the bedroom next to his) and have her take him to the ER?
I tell him that I will. And that, if the paramedics DO end up coming, they'll have to break down a door, since he locks the doors.

So, I call Mom's cell ... she's asleep and doesn't answer (or her cell isn't in her bedroom ... they used to have working home phones, but my stepdad keeps saying that he'll fix the phone line ... and he hasn't. It's been a few months now).

So, I leave a voicemail on her phone, letting her know what's going on. And that I hope C hasn't really broken his hip. And that I hope it's really nothing, he gets back in bed, and she has a happy (relaxing) birthday.

I call HIS phone back ... which he doesn't answer ... which tells me that his hip is probably NOT broken, since you can't sleep through pain like that that quickly.

Well, about ten minutes later (I find out LATER), she checks on him ... and takes him to Emergency where he's adamant that he's broken his back. (He hasn't. Not even a fracture.) But the workers there couldn't understand him (slurring/garbled), but when Mom mentioned that he has been diagnosed with dementia, they're all, "Oh!! Yeah, that explains that. Since a fall off the bed wouldn't affect his speech like that."

So, Mom called at 6AM (probably when they got home from the ER) to explain and apologize. Apparently, he's done this to his kids. And he told Mom that she left him lying on the floor (screaming and calling) for hours. (Really, MAYBE 30 minutes. And he THINKS he's being loud, but is mumbling). So, yeah.

So, I had inspiration while in the shower. I called the local florist down there and had some flowers sent over for Mom's birthday. And then I helped do a kiva.org loan (An Ecuadorian gal now has that last bit of funding to start growing soybeans and corn).

Took that kids to their last swim lesson. Bubbles and I swam for a little over an hour, too.

And now I'm tired.
And still a bit bummed for my mom.
But ... oh well.

Have a great fall! ... Oh, I did that.

So, you're probably wondering the reason for the blog hiatus THIS time.

And I actually rather have an excuse ... and it's a really decent one.

No, I didn't go on vacation or was hospitalized with ebola or was in prison or anything fun/exciting like that.

No ... nothing quite like that.

SO, here's how it started ... Sunday (Sept 29), there I am, getting everyone (except Michael, who's already at church in meetings) ready for church. We're running a couple minutes later than I'd like (which, by the by, is still early, because I'm a freak like that). I make sure to grab the sign-up sheet so that I can be sure to get rides for a sister in the ward. I hold that in one hand (so it won't get wrinkled, since we need to make copies), grab my purse (with my phone and keys), and follow the kids out the door to the van.

I lock the back door and then start to go down the three stairs to the carport floor so I can get Bubbles into her carseat. The kids have already unlocked the van earlier. Bruise is climing into his seat. Bucket is by Bubbles so Bubbles doesn't go running off into the road as is the wont of a nearly 19-month-old.

And ... I miss a step somewhere in there. I don't know if it was that top step or the middle ... but all I know is that I went down. When I'm next totally aware of what's going on, I know that I'm at the bottom of the steps, my purse is next to me, the sign-up sheet (eventually) is on the other side of the railing (slightly mangled), and I'm in a pile at the bottom of the stairs and I HURT.

I thought I heard some pops when I was in my (very short, very sudden) flight ... and I make sure to wiggle my toes. That's a good sign. I try to rotate my right foot ... OW OW FLIPPITYFLIPPITYOW.

I grapple to open my purse and dig out my phone and call Michael to come and get the kids, because I can't take them to church and I'vehurtmyselfandI'lltrytogetintothehouseandithurtsandI'msorry.

I have Bruise close up the car, Bucket take my keys and unlock the house. They usher Bubbles inside and I drag/crawl/hop into the house and get to my computer chair (closest place to sit) and put my foot up on the other computer chair and try not to cry.

Michael got home, got me moved over to the couch, elevated and iced my ankle, printed out a non-wrinkled copy of the sign-up sheet, ran back to the church to get some things done AFTER putting (cranky) Bubbles to nap and getting the kids settled building a LEGO version of Samuel the Lamanite and me into an Epsom salt bath (where I posted a picture of my ankle onto Facebook. ... I'm such a hussy. Those are the only nude pics that'll be online ... and you can only see from my knees down).

Michael got back home and got me to the other couch, so I could be more comfortable and watch TV. And ... well, for the couple weeks, that's what I did -- rested on the couch, keeping my ankle elevated and applying lots of ice and compression bandages.

One friend has lent me her family's pair of crutches. I've gotten decent at using them.

Monday, Michael stayed home and took care of me.
Tuesday, Mom C took Bubbles for the day, since the kids were at school and Michael was at work, so I could relax.
Wednesday, Mom came up and took care of Bubbles and me.
We took Bubbles to her 18-months check-up ... we made quite the parade: Mom, pushing Bubbles in her stroller and me, bringing up the rear on crutches.
Dr. R also took a look at my ankle and pronounced it a good sprain with very little chance of a fracture ... which is what Michael had told me (and he's had his share of sprained/rolled ankles).

Friday, Bruise was receiving an award at a school assembly for reading, so we went, in our same little parade. We had to park a couple blocks away ... and, with the crutches and everything, I was ready to cry by the time they announced that we could take pictures, in the hallway (on the OPPOSITE side of the cafeteria where the assembly was. By the time we got Bubbles, Mom and me HEADED to take pictures, the students were heading back to their seats. ... So I just had Bruise stand against the backdrop curtain hiding the cafeteria prep and took my damn pictures and Mom, Bubbles, and I headed back home.

Later, I took a Percocet (left over from my kidney stone almost two years ago) ... and I felt so good, I tried putting full weight on my ankle.
Bad idea.
Which required more ice, ibuprofen, elevation, and time. Grrr.

I've been really blessed in that the last couple of weeks have been easy, church-wise: We had General Conference (which you can watch/listen to at home), so I didn't have to get dressed up or leave the house at all. I was able to sit at my desk or the couch and take notes/listen/follow the Bloggernacle/TwitterStake.
And last week was our Stake Conference, where we go to church and have a two hour meeting where you don't have to move to any other classrooms (And Bruise and Bucket were pretty darn quiet!! I was pleasantly amazed).

Which brings us to last week:

• Monday - I try to take Bubbles for the day. No go. I can't chase her on crutches.
  Thankfully, Michael's having a really slow day at work and comes home shortly after lunch.
• Tuesday - Mom C comes and gets Bubbles again.
• Wednesday and Thursday - My mom's up and takes care of us until the kids get home from school Thursday.
• Friday - The kids don't have school, so we make do until Michael gets home from work (Friday is the early day) ... And we take the kids to the LEGO KidsFest ... and I get to trade in my crutches for a wheelchair.

The KidsFest was great. Even in a wheelchair.
We would have brought a carrier for Bubbles (who mostly sat on my lap or Michael carried her) and I'd have brought a smaller purse.
We also would have brought a bag for all the freebie swag that Bruise and Bucket got (totally cancelled out the price of their tickets) ... and it was totally worth the price, regardless.

But, yeah, now I know how to use crutches AND a wheelchair.

Saturday, Michael cleaned out the shop/storage shed. The kids lied about cleaning their room ... so they had to do that and are off of Netflix/DVDs/Wii for the week.
As the kids were "cleaning" their room, RIGHT AFTER Michael left for a meeting, Bubbles came out screaming ... and with a mouth full of blood.
Turns out that Bucket "accidentally threw" her into her bed.

My response: "How THE HELL does one 'accidentally throw' someone anywhere??"

So, as it REALLY turns out, Bubbles climbed up into Bucket's (top) bunk and, instead of enlisting Bruise to help Bubbles get down the ladder, Bucket just hung Bubbles over the edge of the bed and dropped her into her pack-n-play ... which resulted in Bubbles biting her tongue BAD.

I did some Google-fu (and called Michael) ... it wasn't bad enough to take her to the doctor's about ... even IF I could drive her there, or IF Michael came home. Seriously, the next day, her tongue only looked like there was a papercut on it. I don't even see any marks as of yesterday.

We had her suck on a wet rag with ice. She had some acetaminophen and a nap ... then popsicles.

But, yeah ... between THAT and her getting stitches a month or so ago (which you can barely see the scar) ... well, combining that with my ankle AND that I was JUST off  my cycle ... It's a wonder that I haven't had a heart attack ... like I ALMOST did when Michael came in Saturday morning and I was running a bath (ALL BY MYSELF) and was about to slide myself into it and then SUDDENLY, without my being able to hear him coming, there's SOMEONE in the room.

Seriously, my heart nearly skidded to a stop.
Then I started to breathe again.

This week, I've started sleeping in again a bit. I've been exhausted ... and it's not like I've been DOING stuff. Maybe folding some laundry. But getting up so early (so early = 5:50ish AM), not napping really, having a crap cough that doesn't let me sleep, plus waking up whenever I want to roll over in bed ... yeah, I'm not getting as much sleep.

So, I started not waking up that early (which I was so that Michael could help me in/out of the shower and get my clothes, help me out to the couch, make sure that I had a phone handset and my bag of stuff (stuff = cellphone, lip gloss, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, Vicodin, Percocet [both leftover from that kidney stone incident of 2012 and appreciated during this time ... and I made sure not to take them if I was the only adult in the house, regardless of pain level. So, therefore, I think my future as a junkie is severely limited], Aspercreme,  ACE bandages, my ankle brace, a nail file, a book ... things like that.) ... so that I'd only really need to get up to go to the bathroom.

Eventually, we got me a couple of boxes of cereal bars so that I'd have something to eat during the day on days that my mom wasn't here (or if Mom C didn't bring me a doughnut), since -- on crutches -- I couldn't carry anything.

Bubbles likes to race-crawl me if I'm on the ground.

Yesterday, I managed to take care of Bubbles AND myself for the day. She demanded that I help her unload the dishwasher. I also started a load of laundry. And I overdid it by carrying her to nap ... since I wasn't using crutches for that. Just the ankle brace.

I started being able to walk on Sunday ... I first practiced between the couches in the living room. Then I managed to hobble from bed to the bathroom and back.

I moved with all the grace of a geriatric with a hip replacement post-surgery. And it's exhausting.
Mostly due to the sheer mind-numbing terror when I have to first figure out how exactly do I trust all my (considerable, let's be honest) weight onto an injured, still-swollen joint.

So, yeah, I was hurting again by yesterday afternoon.
Today, I've realized that I don't put on my ankle brace well. If Michael puts it on, that's fine. But when I put it on, I put it too tight or something against a bruised spot on my ankle (right against a bone, even) ... so that makes it HURT to walk.

I've babied it a bit today. BUT I was able to STEP (not HOP on my good foot but STEP), with my weight on my gimp foot, into the shower today. That hasn't happened since the 29th.

I also loaded up the washer, after moving clothes to the dryer. Loaded the dishwasher. Fed the cat and gave her water. My RS President (and friend -- same person) came over and filled my crockpot with a lasagna AND helped me fold (and put away) some clothes.

I am not good at getting myself food for breakfast and lunch. Here, it's nearly 4:30 and I still haven't eaten anything. I've had water. And cough syrup. Maybe I won't totally lose my voice from coughing like almost happened yesterday.

It's rather hard to relearn to walk. Mostly because it can hurt. And I really don't like pain.

In other news, Michael can tell when my drugs (Percocet or NyQuil) kick in.
On Percocent, I just am talking ... then I stop and announce, apropos to nothing, "I really like rosemary. But I can't grow it in this house. It's just too dim. ... Rosemary and firs have very distinctive shapes. They're a little similar ... but not the smell. Not at all."

Yes, I am just that special.
And I'm completely aware that I act strangely focused and quite nerdy when on drugs. 

Another example: I'm sitting on the couch, my foot is elevated on a pillow on Michael's lap. I'm working at rotating my ankle in as big of circles as possible to work on range of motion.

I'm staring at my foot/leg ... "It's no wonder that the Romans called muscles 'muscles.' It rather does look like there's something moving around in there. Might as well be mice. ... I'm glad it's not mice, though."

So, yeah ... that's most of the last two weeks done up in one LONG, rambling (but this is me. What else do you expect, really?) post.

Long story short - I busted up my ankle falling down a couple stairs on the way to church. It looked like a zombie leg, with all the swelling and bruising. It's getting better. I know now how to use crutches and I can navigate with a wheelchair. I'm learning to walk again. And I can actually take care of Bubbles by myself for a few hours at a time (the kids help A LOT when they're home).

I'm really ready to have a leg with NO swelling, bruises, or pain ... but I'm trying to be patient.
I suck at patience ... especially with myself, since usually I'm the one that people describe as "Oh, don't worry, she's stronger than she looks." But this ... this is not something that I can just cop an attitude and stubborn my way through. Or I'd have been walking last week. DEFINITELY.

In closing, here's a joke that Bucket made up:

Q: How does a hamburger fart?
A: WITH ITS BUNS!

You've got to admit, that is a golden joke.

... Does anyone know where to buy Pumpkin Spice Hershey Kisses? I kind of NEED to try them.

Creative Titles are Not My Priority Today

So, where did we last leave off?

Oh! With how I had no sleep, right?

So, Friday, after the text-to-phone-calls at midnight and the PMS-induced insomnia, I was ... tired.

BUT I got to get together with my bestie, Bri, and another bridesmaid and drive to a bigger mall (in another town) and look at shoes.
It was between silver, sparkly Vans and nude pumps ... the pumps won.
(Though I might have to go back and buy the Vans anyways. Or just invest in the silver Toms, since I love my multi-sparkle Toms so much. ... Then I'll need the blue ones, too. OF COURSE.)
So, even though the bridesmaids all have totally different dresses, we'll have matching shoes to unify us.
And, since they're a neutral, we can always wear them again with other things.
Just like I'll totally rewear my dress after the wedding.

Friday night was Bri's bridal shower. I won a prize by beating everyone else at British slang.
Not bad for a shut-in who's only traveled as far as Mississippi (to the south and east) and Victoria, British Columbia (to the north and west).
Upon accepting my prize, I wanted to thank the BBC, myriad Romance novelists, and various vloggers (Charlieissocoollike and Alex Day) ... and, especially Louise Rennison with her book series (starting with Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging). I could not have done this without you.
And THE GOOGLE. Thank you, THE GOOGLE. Thank you for all the webpages full of Across-the-Pond terminology that I've perused in the past to make sense of what I've read elsewhere. And to find really good not-naughty-word-(well, at least not naughty HERE. Since it's REALLY fulfilling to refer to someone who DESERVES IT as a wanker)-swears.

Hey, gratitude is IMPORTANT.

Saturday, we took the kids to their Primary Program rehearsal.
I sat in, for a bit, as one of the Primary teachers ... until he showed up.
They moved the kiddos from one bench up front to the OTHER SIDE ... so I couldn't see them at ALL from our normal seat. So I took Bubbles to change her diaper and so I could get my crying done with in private.
(Sunday, we SHOCKED THE WHOLE WARD by sitting on the OTHER SIDE of the chapel, so we could see our dang kids. Got quite a few remarks about that. ... No, I'm NOT LYING. Seriously, we're like CLOCKWORK. We get to church early and sit in the SAME SEAT every week ... except for, well, TWO times now. Yeah. I know.)

Then we went shopping and back home where Michael got a nap. Then I went to the church again for the General Relief Society Broadcast. We had some classes before the broadcast (I know now how to make corn tortillas ... Now, I should take that knowledge and DO it, huh? Especially since I have the ingredients! That corn flour I bought at least a year ago isn't going to use itself up, now is it??) and a dinner afterwards.

Then I went home and SLEPT.

Sunday, like I mentioned, was the kids' Primary Program. Bruise and Bucket did EXCELLENTLY.
My mom had called then up before and after school for the last couple weeks so they could recite their parts to her. And we worked on diction and volume and NOT SPEAKING TOO QUICKLY.
So they had their parts DOWN. And they were well-behaved up front. And they looked very nice, too.

Mom, Mom and Dad C, and T2 and her husband, W, and their baby daughter, S, all came. It was nice.
(Except that Mom and Dad C's car broke down on their way home! Eek!)

After church, we went home where we visited with Mom before she drove back home to take care of my stepdad. Then we changed and loaded up to go to Mom and Dad C's to visit with T2, W, and S while they were in town.
We visited, had fun, and watched The Avengers ... good times.
Then we headed back home to get the kids in bed in preparation for school Monday.

Monday ... what did we do Monday? The kids went to school ... Oh!! That's right!!
Monday was SUPPOSED to be payday ... but Michael came home and told me that their new office manager was still learning ... so no one got paid at all (No, we don't get direct deposit. That'd be a nice thing, though!) ... and he was amazed at how well I took it.
I was all, "Well, we still are in the black (not by MUCH). So ... we'll get paid tomorrow? I mean, we have enough milk to last us, right?"

(Yeah ... NOT in my character. Usually I FREAK THE CHICKEN OUT about money issues. But, for some reason ... I was ... okay.)

So, we ate biscuits and gravy. With maple-flavored sausage .... Yum .... maple .... Mmmmm.

Bubbles slept EIGHT WHOLE HOURS.
Too bad, though, that the eight hours started at 7 PM. Still! It was very nice!

Tuesday, yes, he got paid. I skipped Zumba so that I could go help out at Bruise and Bucket's school (which allows me to visit with the wonderful mom of one of their sweetest friends -- so, well, it's not totally altruistic. ^_^).
So, Robyn's son told HER that Bucket was his girlfriend. That Bucket and he sat by each other at P.E. and at lunch ... and she said he was cute.
Robyn had messaged me about it, so I could get Bucket's side of the story.

• Yes, Robyn's son is cute. EVERYONE thinks so.
  (And she's going to tell his mom that I said that this boy is downright ADORABLE.
  Seriously, he is. He is so darling. And his personality matches, too. Which is even more important.)
• Yes, they sit together at P.E. and Lunch. 
• Yes, they sometimes hug.
• EW!!! NO, they don't hold hands or kiss. That's GROSS.
• No, he's not her boyfriend. He's a friend-that-just-HAPPENS-to-be-a-boy. He is not a ooh-la-la-boyfriend (my term, not hers. But she liked it a lot).

The kiddos got home from school and, after reading for a little, went out to play with a friend.
And got to ride on a little electric bicycle/scooter with her uncle. (They wore their helmets.)
Michael got home and after eating dinner (Not as exciting. Chicken marinated in Italian dressing, rice, and green beans), we went grocery shopping. And bought a lamp to replace the one in the living room ... where the middle of three lights is nigh impossible to turn back off.
I put it together while he folded laundry as we watched a couple more episodes of The Walking Dead. (Almost done with season two! ... Too bad we don't have AMC so we could keep current. Oh well.)

Yes, we're THAT couple. The couple that cozies up or folds laundry while watching and chatting about the Zombie Apocalypse. We're so special.
(Seriously, he's the best thing to happen to me. I don't know of anyone else who'd willingly put up with me. Or give me such dang cute kids.)

Today ... I answered the door in my robe (after the kids had headed off to school) to a couple of gentlemen asking if there were any Spanish-speaking people in our home. Or in the neighborhood ... Which, um, no, none in our house (well, the kids are learning Spanish, but that's not what they were asking), and I don't know our neighbors well enough to really say. We always speak English to the ones that I know ...

I also ... well ... I got to discuss birth control with my uncle who's in his sixties.
He's met someone. And, well, they're looking into taking their relationship to the next level.
... And ... well ...

WELL, it's VERY flattering that he trusts me enough to ask my opinion. And, seeing as how Michael and I have been married for almost twelve years and we've only had three kids, it's true. I do know about birth control.
(I asked Michael afterwards, when I called to chat with him during his lunch break, if it was wrong to give my uncle advice and not be all, "Um, you SHOULD be married before doing all of that ..." BUT, at the same time, his last marriage was ... not great. I mean, when your spouse tries to kill you and, failing that, tries to get you put away in prison ... well, I figure that he might be a little gun-shy about marriage. And, since he was baptized into the church as an adult, he'd have sat through all the missionary discussions ... and he'd know the Church's stance on pre-/extra-marital sex.  So... yeah.
But, yeah, I just wanted to make sure that I didn't need to go talk to the bishop about leading someone astray.
Michael assured me that I was okay. And that HE was very glad that I was the one to have this conversation. ... It's cute how Michael isn't very comfortable having THE TALK with, well, ANYONE ELSE but me. This is why I CANNOT DIE ... at least not until our girls are married, right? [It helps that my mom is AMAZING and made sure that I knew that I could ask her anything and she'd give me an honest answer. Since she'd much rather that I be confident enough in her to ask her, as opposed to learning about sex from kids at school. So, yes, I've asked my mom LOTS of questions growing up. ... Also, I was confident enough to read about sciencey stuff {e.g., genetics, development, and reproduction} so that I know about my body... and my kids' bodies, in case THEY have questions.])

Besides it being a little ... strange ... to discuss prophylactics, et al, with a family member twice my age, I felt so sad for his lady-friend. She's gone into menopause ... but didn't ever realize that when you stop having any cycles, due to menopause, you stop ovulating. She hasn't had a cycle for ... five years or so ... and thought that because she still had eggs in her ovaries, she could still get pregnant.
Poor girl ... I mean ... I just feel bad that she's been worried about something that she (99% shouldn't) doesn't need to fret about.

So ... I guess if your kids ever need to talk about reproductive stuff and you don't feel comfortable doing it, hit me up. I will tell young'uns DEFINITELY that they should get married before exercising their powers of procreation ... but, if they need some info, I can talk about what I know ... or help them research it, too.

In other news, one of my friends had reserved a table at a restaurant a few states away (since we live in different states). The reservation was created over a month ago. A few days ago, the restaurant cancelled the reservation due to a private party happening. This is the reservation for celebrating a milestone birthday for her dad.
So, I offered, if she gave me the name of the place, to try and help out.

She supplied the name and town of the restaurant. I looked them up, found an email address, and wrote a complaint letter about the situation.

Within the HOUR, the manager emailed me back to apologize. He was headed off to a meeting and would respond as soon as he got out. He was glad that I had emailed him, since he was unaware of the situation.

A few hours later, he emailed back and offered a free dinner for my friend's group. I supplied her contact info (which I had asked her if I could in advance) and there you go!

My friend was rather pleasantly shocked that I'd do that. She hadn't even considered contacting the restaurant ... I mean, most people don't need to.

But, well, this is where I come in.
I strongly believe that if there is a problem ... maybe it's a problem because someone didn't know about it to prevent it.
So, like I did here, I brought it to the attention of someone who CAN do something about it.
I assume that it's not on purpose.
I ask for something to rectify the situation.
(Hey, I've read more than my share of posts on The Consumerist. I KNOW about complaint letters.)

So ... well, if you need a complaint letter written ... or help writing one ... hit me up.

I guess I've discovered my talents ... giving THE TALK and complaining. :P
(Well, crafting letters of complaint. ... I also try to craft "Thank You" letters, too. Those are nicer to write. ^_^)

Well, I should start housework or something, shouldn't I?
I mean, I already made it to the bread store (DUDE, I got THREE LOAVES of whole wheat bread for 99 CENTS. YES.) and got a great resolution for my friend via email ... That should get me a by, right?
If only. 

Reporting Back for Service!

Sorry for deserting you (yet AGAIN) ... Okay, let's see what I've been up to ...

• The kids had school pictures. I ordered everything online ... and printed out the picture passes for them.
  Somehow, Bruise's pass disappeared by the time he got to school. So I, between phone calls with an office aide (also mother of twins), got a QUICK shower, threw on clothes, printed out a new pass, and scurried over to the school, lugging Bubble's car seat, to drop it off. PHEW!!!!
  I was horribly sweaty by the time the whole ordeal was over!
• We helped landscape a park for our church's Day of Service a couple weeks ago.
  I now know how to spread mark mulch like a pro not-TOTAL-amateur.
  Bruise had fun helping Bishop H (from another ward. But we USED to all be in the same ward. He's known us since Bruise and Bucket were 1) drive a utility vehicle ... like how I used to get to "help" my Pop-pop drive the riding lawn mower.
• I taught the RS lesson a couple weeks ago. It went really well. Even though I had gals from the Stake RS in there. Ha ha ha. I barely had to talk, which was great. And I had TONS of participation from my awesome RS sisters. I wore Bubbles in the Moby wrap and she was well-behaved for the entire lesson ... besides trying to grab papers that I held. Ha ha ha.
  So ... sisters in RS think that I'm awesome for some reason. It's sweet that they're so delusional. :P
  Bubbles is happy as long as she's held. (I was hoping that she'd be asleep the whole time ... oh well. But she was happy and QUIET.)
  My favorite compliment was from our friend in the Stake RS Presidency. She liked that she couldn't even tell that I was reading the lesson as I was teaching. (Thanks, Mom!! You raised a good reader!!)
• I taught the kids' Primary class yesterday. There were four kids in there. It went well. Bruise and Bucket told me that I did a great job. ^_^ Awww!
• Our ward (but anyone interested is invited!) has started up a free Zumba class on Tues/Thurs mornings. I survive ... but, OH MY, is my face red by the end of the class. And I'm sweaty and breathing hard for what feels like FOREVER ... because I'm out of shape and have no stamina.
  But I've made it through a week of classes. And I'll be there this week, too. ... And hopefully, I can keep it up indefinitely! I've got some baby weight (and more) that needs to be sent packing!
• My Grampy and his wife (so, technically, my step-grandmother, but she's rather young for that ...) came up to visit. Which meant that I got my house clean. We had a nice visit and all went out to dinner.
• There was a funeral for a friend's father this weekend. Very sad ... I mean, I know that he's not hurting or anything anymore ... But we're going to miss him.
• The kids got their flu shots on Friday (Bubbles got the first of hers, since the first time flu shots are done in two doses for littles. She goes back next month for her other shot). They did pretty well. Not a whole ton of screaming and crying.
  Saturday, I went to Safeway and got mine ... bringing Bruise and Bucket back with me to see me get mine and if I cried. Which I didn't. However, I told them my tricks: Don't look at the needle. It hurts less. Don't tense up. It hurts less. Don't hold your breath. It hurts less ... AND I got an awesome bandage.
  I was telling the kids that I probably wouldn't get a cool band-aid like they had, since grown-ups usually just get plain ones. BUT!! The pharmacist opened another drawer and let me choose what kind of COOL bandage I wanted. (MUPPETS, all the way. So I sported an Animal bandage on my way out. Oh yes!)
  Now, I need to take the kids along when I donate blood ... so they can see that I can ALSO handle BIG needles. Since immunization needles are dinky in comparison to those ones.
• Michael and I watched Shuffle last night.
  It was REALLY GOOD.
  Michael wasn't surprised by bits, since he's pretty much Sherlock Holmes and can piece together everything. But the acting was really excellent. So was the soundtrack. The story was well-written ... I cried a bit. (Though I AM due for PMS anytime now, not going to lie.)
  Michael admitted that he ALMOST shed a tear or two near the end.
  But, really, it's an awesome story. I need to buy it.
  If you're wondering what else is kind of like it, if you've seen Validation (with TJ Thyne. The full short movie is on YouTube), it's by the same writer. And I love that one DESPERATELY, too.
  ... Also ... I may have a little crush on TJ Thyne. He just seems to be such a lovely, kind man.
  Reminds me of Michael, I suppose. ^_^
• I've been getting through some library books. Always a plus. Now, I'll need to return some tomorrow. And pick up another hold.
• I also have read through the first half of Schooled by Tali Nay. I bought it (1) to support her, since we went to high school together ... and (2) ... to see who I could recognize in the chapters about high school. (I was a year ahead of her in high school.)
  Well, except for the people in her class, I think I recognized almost everyone. And I got a chuckle of some of the name changes ... especially for the towns and schools.
  Mom asked if I found myself mentioned in there ... No. But Tali and I didn't cross paths a whole, whole lot. (Now, the question asked during the kissing scene from Music Man? ... I'll admit that, though not mentioned, that was totally Stevie and me talking. I think it was Stevie who made that remark ... whereas I? I was the one watching and muttering back to her, "Their jaws just moved in sync. Are they REALLY kissing? Like FRENCH KISSING?!?" ... Seriously, Stevie and I should have brought a microwave to have made popcorn as we analyzed. Gosh, it makes me miss her and the rest of the Comedy Troupe SO DANG MUCH when I reminisce like that. *sigh*)
  Now, I need to read through the second half of the book, where Tali's gone off to college ... and I won't recognize ANYONE, since we didn't attend the same college at all. But her writing is fun, so it'll be nice. I just won't get to feel all sneaky and tabloid-trashy reading it. ;P

I think that's about everything ... everything fit to print. Ha ha.

Yeah. At least, for now.

Oh, in other (NOT) news, I totally LOVE the Essie "Penny Talk" polish. I had it on my fingers last week. I had to redo my toes ... so now my toes are all pretty and shiny. Why is "Penny Talk" never in stock at the local Target? And why does it have to be a limited release?!?!?!??? Because, if I had a bazillion dollars, I'd totally be stocking up on it RIGHT NOW.
Just sayin'.

A small whirlwind of my life

So, I got all the dishes done ... and dirtied up some more.

Mom came up.
I made ice cream (Root beer flavored).
Michael's birthday was yesterday.
And I had a child sent home from school.

Where to start?
So, Mom came up and we were going to have a little Mary Kay party.
But Bri's BabyBug wasn't feeling good. So it's postponed.
(And Bri? You're NOT a bad friend. You're a good friend and a wonderful mom. It's all cool. ^_^)

Mom and I (and Michael, who was home by this time from his EQ meeting) watched Thor.
(Mom hadn't seen it before.)

Oh ... I should mention that I took Bruise to the doctor's on Monday. His Molluscum went CRAZY. So he has all these little bumps (and scabs from the ones that we popped) all over his arms, chest, back, and thighs. Poor boy.
We saw another doctor in the practice, since their pediatrician was busy ... but he ended up coming for a look.
Bruise's case is the worst that he's ever seen in his 20+ years of medicine. But, as he reminded us, Molluscum ALWAYS goes away.
We were told to

• Leave it alone (No scratching or popping any more bumps)
• Keep it covered
• Review the CDC handout

We were also told to have him eat healthier, since his immune system SHOULD have kicked in by now.
So he's drinking some fruits and vegetables ... and THIS SUMMER is the summer of getting him to enjoy vegetables. And SOUPS. Since it's EASY to get one's veggies by eating soups.

Bucket has a few (like 5-7 TOTAL) Molluscum warts on her. But they're not in spots that she can itch. And they will stay covered.

BUT, while Bruise was at school yesterday, he was scratching at a scab. And it started to bleed. And, with all the scabs from some, I'm pretty sure that the school thought that he had Chicken Pox (He was immunized, so that chance is slim) ... and their teacher is pregnant ... so I got a call.
But since he was scratching and had an open wound, they had me pick him up.
(I really kinda wanted to say, "What? Does the school not have ANY Band-Aids? I can swing by Costco. Get y'all a big box." ... But I didn't.)
Yes, Molluscum is contagious. IF YOU TOUCH IT. And if you don't wash your hands. But, really ... I don't wash my hands as well as I probably should. I wash, but not always for a full one-two minutes. STILL, I haven't gotten ANY. And I'm in contact with Bruise a LOT.

The reason why Bucket's gotten them, I'm pretty sure, is because they've taken baths together. And, despite my requests, they end up wrestling around and goofing off in the tub. (Now? It's TIME for them to have separate baths. I get it. My babies are growing up. *sigh*) That's the only way she could get them on her back.
Bruise is always kissing on and trying to hold Bubbles. She doesn't have ANY.

And, according to the CDC, there's no reason to keep a child out of school or daycare due to Molluscum.

The school did seem to feel a little better when they knew that he'd been to the doctor, so they knew it was NOT Chicken Pox. But it was the whole open sore issue ... *sigh* I just don't know.

I did ask Mom, since she's a retired teacher, if I had been in any way irresponsible by not telling the school/their teacher about Bruise's Molluscum. And she assured me that, no, it wasn't an issue ... until he was rolling up his sleeves and scratching. Which he wasn't supposed to do.
If their doctor had even mentioned letting their teacher/school be aware of it, I'd have definitely let them know. But ... it never even crossed my mind.

So, I picked him up and we went to Target and got some Ace bandages to wrap his arms in while he's at school so he can't scratch. Good thing school's getting out next week.
The whole thing exhausts me.

Of course, what's even funnier, is that as Michael and I looked at his arms ... it already looks WAAAAAAY better than it had even last week. So it's really a huge mountain out of a molehill, for the most part.

Michael's pretty sure that they called me without asking Bruise about what's on his arms.
If they'd asked, he'd have told them that it's warts. Which is what it is. He knows. Bucket knows.

Mom is pretty sure that they're just being a little paranoid. What with Chicken Pox and then the huge fears of blood-borne pathogens.

But we're working REALLY, REALLY HARD to get his immune system kicked up a notch with healthier eating and LOADS of prayer.

Especially since I'm not getting the kids into swim lessons until they're Molluscum free. (Or there are only the healing ones. No new ones.)

I really wish that I knew where he caught it. Just like I really wish that I knew how Bucket got head lice.

Oh well.

So, besides that, Mom and I went to Farmers' Market yesterday. We got goat cheese (feta AND chevre), fresh basil (which makes me house smell AMAZING), apple sauce and apple butter, fresh cherries, some beef (Michael had a delicious birthday steak for dinner. And I got to feel rather virtuous for having locally-grown/raised beef in the house for once. ^_^), sugar snap peas, and a cucumber. I think that's it. ... Yes. That was my haul.
Mom got two cucumbers ... and no steak.
But that's because the steak was Michael's present. Well, one of them. ^_^

Mom and Dad C (and Grandma C) came by as we were grilling up the steak and some burgers for the kiddos.

(Did I mention that we FINALLY got the grill?? We did! It came in on Sunday. Michael picked it up and put it together Monday night. It took TWO HOURS for him to put it together ... so that tells you how NOT-CLEARLY the instructions were written. But it's a good grill ... and it's ours.
Also, with the gift card that it came with, he bought himself some LEGOs. ^_^
He put his Tie-Fighter together while Mom and I were watching Thor.
Bruise is rather jealous. :P)

What was really cute was that they kept saying that Michael got the grill for his birthday.
No, we bought that for Memorial Day (not that it arrived in time. *sigh*) ...
We got him a DRILL for his birthday.
They got him some very nice shirts and a gift card for the movie theater. Always a great present. ^_^

And Michael was cute as he was almost as excited as I've ever seen him about something.
The drill and driver (came as a set) will be put to good use.

(FYI: The most excited that I've EVER seen him was when he learned that he passed his test to be a real engineer -- as opposed to an EIT.
Srsly, he swung me around. And that takes something. I'm nowhere near being one of those sweet, little things that weigh 90 lbs, soaking wet. ... And, really, with my bone structure, I'd look skeletal if I were that small. But I'm not happy about my BMI. Ugh. Let's not go there. Let's concentrate on how adorable it is when Michael's excited. Because it's ADORABLE.)

In other news, Jem! is on Netflix streaming.
I've watched about three episodes ... and, since I'm hormonal (nursing AND having the painters in) I almost started sobbing at one part.
One of the foster girls runs back into Starlight House to rescue the jar of money the girls are saving (which she had attempted  to steal from earlier). When she comes out, Jerrica tells her that it was a crazy thing to do and that ... *sniff, sniff* ... no amount of money could ever replace you.
And, oh gosh, I'm misting up ... This is so stupid.
These are CARTOON CHARACTERS ...

Yeah ... this is what Michael gets to put up with (and, strangely enough, he seems HAPPY about it. Probably because insane people are pretty entertaining. That must be it).
Lucky boy.

Oh, and ... well, this is the year that I start messing up Michael's age. I KNOW, really, how old he is.
But then I say, "Well, you're only 34."
No. No, he's not. I'm off.
By more than one year.

He just looks younger. That's it. It must be.
Or else I'm in denial that I'm as old as I am.

No ... because I'm starting to think of myself as older.
Even though, mentally, I still FEEL as clueless as I was at 16.
But, since I've passed 30, I just assume that I'm automatically 35. Not 31.

I'll chalk that up to having found my first grey hair.
In my EYEBROW.
A few months ago.

Yes. That's so, so special.

Also special?
While Michael and I were talking in bed last night, we were talking about NOT refusing to use big words.
Call Mathematics by their real names: ADDITION, SUBTRACTION, etc.
Michael's main beef is that when people refuse to use the big words, it makes awesome classes like Chemistry SCARY for a lot of people.
Whereas, if we're all used to using big words ... it's not such a big deal to lean about hydroxides and other things that use big words.
I have taught our kids that they have penises and vaginas (and I'm working on the term vulva, since that's the actual correct term for the part that you see ... and it'd be good to use the CORRECT-CORRECT term).
As I said that "they have penises and vaginas," last night, Michael was tired.
"No, they shouldn't. At least not both at once."
"Yes, honey," I sardonically drawled. "Because we only give birth to hermaphrodites in this family."

Yeah. We're special.

But, besides it being a matter of importance to use the correct terms for things, I also read that, according to some research (citation needed, I'm sure, since it was a while ago that I read it), children who use the correct technical terms for their private parts are less likely to be sexually abused. ... Something about the (potential-)abuser realizing that they'd give stronger testimony and are more aware of what is and isn't appropriate.

And, well, in a case like this, I'd rather be overly safe than sorry.

I do try not to be a helicopter-mom. I do try to foster independence in my children.
I want them to feel loved and secure ... but I also want them to KNOW that they have the ability to protect themselves. To be capable of making their own (hopefully GOOD) choices.
I want them to know that I respect their decisions ... I might not always agree with them ... but that they have the right and the ability to make their own choices.
I want them to know what they NEED to do ... and that, after that, they have freedom to choose and prioritize their wants.
I want them to be responsible citizens who help others around them to feel valued and appreciated. I want for my children to be strong. I want them to be healthy. I want them to be content in their place in life, to not regret many things. I want them to be educated, to have a love of learning. I want them to never stagnate in life. I want them to develop a good work ethic, to be able to support their families -- to have marketable skills (since life WILL throw challenges in one's way. It's not an IF. It's a WHEN) that they can take confidence and security in possessing. I want them to love the Lord, to have a love for the scriptures, prayer, and following the commandments because they WANT to (not just because it's something they are supposed to do) entrenched in their character. I want them to aim for Celestial marriage ... and, regardless, to live life in preparation of those covenants that they'll make in the temple. And, after their wedding, to show love and respect for their spouse. I also hope they'll marry people that we'll get along with, too. ^_^
I want them to be aware that they can ALWAYS come to Michael and me for love, support, advice, a listening ear/sounding board. I want them to never fear that we won't love them or that we'd shun or shame them. (I will admit that I am, at times, disappointed in my kiddos' choices. Sometimes I may not love them as fully as they deserve ... but I will always love them. It's my JOB. And I gladly accept that responsibility.)

I also want them to eat their friggin' vegetables. And pick up their crap. And not give me any sass. And not to psyche themselves out of things they need to do -- I want them to be able to acknowledge that they are afraid ... AND DO IT ANYWAYS. To PROVE to THEMSELVES that they CAN do it. Even if it's scary.

And ... well ... I, as a mother ... as THEIR mother, need to learn how to best model this for them. How to best support and encourage them. To give them a safe haven from anything else out there. To foster a love of learning and of loving those around them. To show them that, even if you don't LOVE it, eating healthily and exercising will not KILL you. ... Things like that.
I need to be better at it.

That's my girl ...

Bucket, this morning:

"Sorry! I'm farting ALL OVER!"

Yup. That's my girl.

okay, I'm going to write this ... today .... eventually ....

Seriously, EVERY time I start to get ready to blog today ...

nevermind. Bubbles needs me again. *sigh* Let me get her settled. Again.

So, Thursday, Bruise forgot his lunch. Left it sitting right on the counter. So I send him to school Friday with an envelope of money to pay for his lunch.
This morning? I find it, as I'm stepping out to walk them to the bus, on the front porch.
WEIRD.
But he BETTER take it to the office today. That's it!

The kids had a dental appointment Friday afternoon. Bucket has no cavities. Yay!
Bruise will go in to have the cavities on the backs of his front teeth treated ... so, in effect, he has no NEW cavities. Yay!

Now, here's the beef from this weekend (last couple weeks).
SO, May 19, we get a raincheck for a grill at Fred Meyer. They were supposed to give us a call when the grill came in by the 26th (as soon as they got a new shipment. Within the week, really).
They did NOT call.
The rain check had a wrong number written on it when I tried to call (on the 27th).
The WEBSITE had a (different) wrong number listed. Seriously??
I eventually found the RIGHT number (the rain check had the wrong prefix written. Understandable ... but, really?)

I talked to a great employee ... was promised that we'd be called. And told that the seasonal manager (since APPARENTLY our rain check wasn't in the home/garden section, but in the seasonal section. Which is locked. And the manager only works until 4 ... *sigh*) wasn't there.

We went back Friday (TWO WHOLE WEEKS. When we were told one week later ... There went our plans for BBQ during the holiday weekend. *sigh*) ... Nothing.
Sunday?

They FINALLY called. FINALLY.
Michael's going to pick it up today. Phew.
Because I was getting REALLY TIRED of being blown off by a store that can't even list its correct PHONE NUMBER on the COMPANY WEBSITE.

(What's REALLY sad? For me ... Christmas doesn't feel the same without shopping at Fred Meyer. Probably because Mom and I always seem to hit Freddy's for the sock sale on Black Friday. Well, whenever we have Thanksgiving together. So, like, every other year, now. ... So, WHY, Freddy's? WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME? WHY ARE YOU BLOWING ME OFF?? I LOVE YOU!! TAKE ME BACK! LOVE ME AGAIN!!)

(Now that THAT'S out of my system ... Phew.)

And Bubble is crying again. JUST as Freyja-cat has jumped, purring, on my lap.
Oh ... conundrum!!!!

Okay ... changed a diaper ... and she's screaming in her swing. *sigh* Just let me write!!!

Got the kiddos all signed up for the Summer Reading Program. We're currently reading HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban for story-story (bedtime story).

I got a new external HD ... Now I don't have to freak out about my full one. Phew!

(Bubbles stopped crying. She's still awake ... but not crying. PHEW!!)

I need to watch movies again. As soon as Avengers is on DVD (well, knowing Michael, THAT'S a Blu-Ray purchase), I'm ready to watch it again. (I'm actually ready NOW ... but it's expensive going to the movies).
I keep meaning to rewatch some that we already have. Hitch, Cinderella, Downton Abbey (season one. I'll buy season two in a couple weeks. ^__________^) ... AAAAAAAND I have a ton of things on the netflix Instant Queue. *sigh*

I'm really not all that exciting right now ... I need to do housework. And I need to figure out what to cook. I need a shower.
Yup. I'm a wild and crazy creature.

So ... yeah.
And I NEED to clean off my desk. And the counters.
I did paint my toes this weekend. And, while I was doing THAT, I was listening to Pandora radio on my phone while cleaning up the bathroom counters. They look better. It's CRAZY how much brighter the bathroom looks when the counters aren't covered in (figurative) crap! CRAZY!!

The kids only have this week and next week (well, Wednesday of next week) of school.
Then there are TONS of stuff to do (or that we CAN do) for summer.
They have a little "Multi-Sport Academy" which will let them try T-Ball, Biddy Ball (basketball), and soccer.
They want swim lessons ... so I should get them signed up for THAT.
There are also playdates to schedule and activities for Summer Reading Program and those offered by the Visitor's Association ...
There are places to visit ... and places to GO (The Zoo, OMSI, the Aquarium ... maybe drive up to Astoria/Tillamook/Seaside) ....
After we buy a tent soon, we'll go camping ...
There are TWO family reunions in July ... thankfully, both are local. One (mine) is just a couple miles away from our house. Phew!! ... That beats last year's, when we went camping (and I puked in the bushes at our campsite. Thanks, morning sickness, you witch.) and then we COULDN'T FIND THE PARK where the reunion was. And it's not like I had a number to call. (Unlike when it's been at a distant family member's HOUSE.) Grrrrr. Yeah. AND it was on a Sunday and, driving around to find it, I had to HUGEST CRAVING for Taco Bell ... we ended up picking some up on the way back home. And then I threw THAT all up. *Sigh* Very frustrating. ... But that won't be the case this time. Thank goodness.
(Instead, we'll just run over after church. Much better. ^_^)

And I'm taking Bruise to the doctor's. Those warts/Molluscum? They're not going away.
I'm tired of treating them. And Bruise is EVEN MORE TIRED of my treating them.
If it were possible, I'd be up for a chemical peel that'd allow us to start with new skin for him.
Stupid viruses.

Freyja-cat is still doing really well on her kitty-Prozac. Phew.

And Bucket's fish are all doing well. With the algae-eater, we haven't had to clean the tank at all. Iggy does a fine job at keeping it crystal clear and clean. And the kiddos LOVE when he is "in China." (Hanging out in the little decoration/house in the tank.)

So ... yeah. I should shut up and vacuum. And do the dishes. And clean the stove (AGAIN. It stinks. SO NASTY).

El Dia de los ninos/libros + This morning's excitement

Yesterday evening, the kids' school held a get-together with books, crafts, food ... Good stuff.

There were tables that you could go to. Each table taught about a different country/culture.
There were tables for China, Mexico, Germany, Brazil, Hawaii ... I think that's it.
Bruise didn't want to do many of the things. But Bucket was interested in checking things out.

There was also a book exchange. I traded in a couple of the books that the kiddos never read for some new books. (Well, new to us, anyways.)

The kiddos did both make a pinata. Not a REAL one. But a lunch sack crammed with newspaper.
They got to paint them. Bucket pasted some streamers on hers.
And THAT'S why I NOW know how to get Tempera paint out of clothing. (Their new Beavers shirts. Oy. But the stains are GONE.)

[IF you EVER need to get Tempera paint out of clothes, HERE'S how to do it:

• If the paint's still wet - BLOT and RINSE out as much as you can.
  If it's dry - RINSE and SCRUB out as much as you can.
• Put LIQUID LAUNDRY DETERGENT straight onto the stain(s).
  Let sit for an hour.
• Then soak the clothes in OXI-CLEAN and COLOR-SAFE BLEACH.

Then you SHOULD be okay. Oy.]

Bubbles was fine the whole evening. I wore her in the Moby wrap and she slept the whole time. No problems.

Michael and I watched "Cowboys vs Aliens" after the kids were in bed (and we were getting Bubbles to sleep). Meh. It's not my kind of movie. And I don't think we'd watch it again.
We do both agree that Daniel Craig should have kept his regular accent. Hearing him speak with an American accent ... was a little strange.

Bubbles slept well for the first part of the night.
Then, around 5 AM, she woke up and was kicking me in the back. I fed her, moved her so her legs weren't in my back, and flipped myself over so I could sleep.
SHE ROTATED AND WAS KICKING ME IN THE BACK AGAIN.

Now, I was REALLY tired (Allergies = I don't sleep as well. Ugh.), so Michael heard me throwing a bit of a fit, and took her out to the front room to sit in the swing as he headed out to do security for Seminary.
(LAST TIME for a while! HUZZAH!! Now we can actually BOTH sleep in on Fridays!)

I finally fell back asleep. Woke up for a quick shower, got Bucket's hair done (since I AM NOT taking chances for her to wear her hair loose and get lice again for a LONG while), got dressed, got the kids' lunches thrown together, fed Bubbles, changed her diaper and got her dressed AS THE ALARM went off that tells us to get to the bus.

We walked almost all the way to the bus stop.

"[Bucket], your backpack needs to be zipped up. *I go to zip it* Hey, where's your lunch?"
"I FORGOT IT!!!!!"

So she, Bubbles (in the stroller) and I RACE back to the house and get her lunchpail. Bruise waits at the bus stop with the other kids.
We get there as the bus is coming down the street.

YES, that was CLOSE.
But we made it.

I THINK that the kiddos MIGHT just understand WHY I ask them to make sure that they have all their crap BEFORE we leave the house.
But I could be delusional.

I think I'm going to work on making a chore chart for the family.
And I have just shy of a million other things to do (like read ALL my library books) ... *sigh*

And I have a cat on my lap who needs cuddles.
But it is pretty cute that she'll lick the inside of my elbow as I'm typing. ... Just so that I'm reminded that, "Hey. This is me, Freyja. You love me. You want to give me cuddles and skritches. NOW. Stop blogging. You NEED to give me some snuggles. NOW. ... NOW!"

I better get on that. STAT.

And another look into my life ...

So, yesterday, as Bri and I were preparing to get into our costumes for rehearsal, I couldn't find mine.

I had been assured that my costume had been sewed ... and it wasn't where it SHOULD be (with my nametag on the clothes rack) ... so Bri and I were joking around as we were about to track down the gal in charge of costumes.

"Well," I drawled, "I guess I'm just gonna have to go on stage in my NUDIE-PANTS!"

"Just make sure you have a head covering," Bri rejoined.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Because if I didn't have on my head covering, I'd totally look like a HARLOT."
(Since this is Ancient Israel, we're talking about.)

Then I realized that President C (our Stake President ... he's in charge of the wards/congregations in our immediate geographical area) was in the room ... and that I had said ALL OF THIS, not thinking, while he had been in here the WHOLE TIME.

And I sheepishly grimaced, "I probably should have said that in front of our STAKE PRESIDENT."

And he just came over and patted my arm.

Yeah, I think he's been around me enough to not be shocked.
That and he's our county District Attorney ... so it probably takes a lot to really faze him.

Maybe this means that I won't have to worry about any Stake callings (responsibilities) coming my way.
... Or else it means that I really DO need to worry about a future Stake calling. Since they already know exactly what they're getting into.
Oh, gosh, I'm going to be the female J. Golden Kimball of the Stake ...

Well, it's not like I haven't brought this upon myself. :P

Besides, Bri and I have already made jokes about her character (Mary) taking the ceremonial drink like a shot of liquor. (Heh, good jokes there.) OR about how if I DIDN'T wear my head covering (a veil) onstage, since ALL my appearances are when menfolk are around, I'd be stoned as a harlot.
(And, when talking about this, I always look down to my swollen abdomen and gasp, "WHO TOLD?!?" Since I never appear with a husband in this production, you know.)

"Yeah, Mary, take THAT as an object lesson of what'll happen to you if you don't behave!"
And Bri, Trish, and I snicker.

OR, in mentioning the fact that we're all supposed to have backstories about our character (especially those of us who are NOT Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, or Zecharias) ... So I came up with one.

So, our family comes from Tiberius (which I can remember the name of thanks to James T. Kirk. [Trekkie reference! Even though I am better at following Star Wars!]), which is along the Sea of Galilee.
My husband (WORKAHOLIC) is a trader of gems and metalworks. And we've started a speculative freshwater pearl market on the side. (Since I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA if there are pearls in the Galilean Sea. At all.)
And I just am left my my own devices in Nazareth (or Jerusalem, depending on the scene) while he's off making those boucoup bucks to support me and our developing child in the manner to which I'm accustomed.

But, IF anyone isn't happy with THAT story, Michael and I have a theory that my character was abandoned in Ancient Israel by the 16th Doctor, after I missed reuniting with the TARDIS. My own fault.
So, while I'm stuck there, I got married and knocked up. AND THERE'S A SPECULATIVE FRESHWATER PEARL MARKET ... because, dude, that is GOLDEN right there. I'm so proud of myself for coming up with that one.

Also, since I have a piece of rope as part of my costume, Bri votes that I find a sundial (a BIG ONE) to hang from that rope belt ... so I can be an Ancient Israelite version of Flava Flav.
Now, where'd I put mah GRILLZ??

But, yeah, somehow I don't see our costume gal being in favor of that.
But, well, YOU'LL know that I secretly a geeked-out, trapped in another time, Ancient Israelite gangsteeeeeeeeeeeeer. Yeah, boiiyz. Fo' sho'.

In other news ...

So, where did I leave off?

Bruise and Bucket's Parent-Teacher conferences went well.
We were a little worried that Bruise was put into such a low reading group (ReadWell Unit 4 ... He was through Unit 10 with my mom this summer. And, yesterday, I tried him on Unit 11 ... He did GREAT. Ready for 12, maybe higher) ... but the reason he's in there is because there's no reading group for anything between his current group and the group that Bucket is in (Unit 27).

THIS IS WHY BUDGET CUTS SUCK.

I'm just saying.

But they know everything they're being tested on (and more, to be honest). Their teacher, Mrs Y, was glad to know that they enjoy using the dictionary (Yes, I'm teaching how to use reference materials at an early age. That's how I roll, homeskillet.) ... Good times.

And we got them each a book at the Book Fair at school. (I love book fairs. I wish I had a bazillion dollars. :P)

So, Tuesday ... the big thing was that we took both the hedgehogs to the vet. And Phyllis is no longer with us.
But Sari is a healthy girl. ... And Michael and the kids went out for pizza. (Little Caesar's Cheezy Bread? YUM! Michael made the kids save me a piece) ... that was while I went to rehearsal.

But I don't have rehearsal Thursday ... it'll be nice to have an evening off from regular rehearsals ... since we now have practice Tuesdays and Thursdays ... and some Wednesdays in the near future.

Also, a cafeteria helper at the school deemed a lunch that I sent with my daughter as inappropriate ... and had her go get a school lunch (which we've been charged for).
Hello? I packed that lunch. It's not anyone's call if it's not appropriate.
So, I'll be calling the principal tomorrow.
(I've talked to the head cafeteria lady about the charge. I've also let poor Mrs Y know what's going on, since, if I were the teacher, I'd want to know. I know that they'll probably talk to the cafeteria helper about what is and is NOT her responsibility ... but I also want to make sure that this never happens again.)

Really, I posted about it on Facebook ... and WOW, people were pretty irate for me.
Which made me feel validated that I wasn't some hormonal, overly-sensitive, preggo lady. ^_^
I love my friends.

Freyja-cat had a vet appointment this morning. Just to get a Distemper/Feline Upper Respiratory shot. I get to take her back for the booster next month. After that, she's all caught up ... and won't need any shots for another year. Which is nice.
She was very well-behaved. Hated being in the pet carrier ... but, besides that? She's such a good girl. ^_^
I do have to say that we have some really wonderful vets here in town. I've received such wonderful service at both the clinics I've been at this week. That's been a nice thing.

Well, I need to go take the kids to their Well-Child Check-Up.
They shouldn't need any shots ... which will be very nice.
And then I can turn in library books. That'll be a good thing, too.
(If only I had read them all! *sigh*)

The things you find yourself saying as a mother ...

Oh, the things that happen when you are WORKING SO HARD to avoid giving into your baser instincts.

I do try very hard to avoid corporal punishment.
This does not mean that I am not tempted. ... Oh, believe me, there are times when I could gleefully strangle a munchkin.
BUT I DON'T.
Because I am a grown-up. Because I know better and I know there are other options. Because I don't want to go to prison (though, at times, it might SEEM like a welcome break ... I know that it wouldn't be. And I really do love my children. Even though sometimes, oh my, they make it easier to love them than others.)

SO ... they will not nap. They have timeouts. There is an understanding that they will not leave their room except for potty-breaks and dinner. They are to be IN THEIR BEDS AND QUIET ... not playing.

So, OF COURSE, when we go in there, their stuff is spread ALL OVER THEIR FLOOR.
Naturally.

And it's still there after they have dinner and put on pajamas and brush and floss ...

So I snap.

Do I spank them?
No.

Do I hang them up over a vat of eels and sharks?
TEMPTING, but no. I don't even know where to get a vat, let alone where to procure eels and sharks. And, my brain boggles at the logistics of stringing them up by their toenails over aforementioned vat.
I think I might need to lie down to balance out how much THOUGHT that would entail. Oy.

NO. I threaten to start taking toys away.

"You do not NEED dress-up clothes. You do not NEED stuffed animals. You do not NEED any toys that you cannot keep picked up and put away.
"There are children out there in the world that do not HAVE toys. They do not HAVE Wiis or television or Barbies or Legos. ... They have a STICK and a ROCK. And IF they are LUCKY, they MIGHT get a cardboard box every so often. And they are HAPPY TO HAVE THOSE THINGS."

And I would have kept my composure ... if Michael hadn't had to clap a hand over his mouth, close his eyes, and maintain an expression that is either holding back vomit or laughter.
(It was the second.)

So, Bruise starts to pray.
And I lose it. I'm snickering like a loon on nitrous oxide. DURING A PRAYER.

It's all Michael's fault. I'd have kept my self-righteous pomposity if he hadn't had to fight so much for composure.

... I mean, even now, I can't keep a straight face.

We got the kids to bed and he prods, "A stick and a rock??"

"I WAS THINKING OF CHILDREN IN AFRICA!!!" I pathetically defend my argument.

And then he TRIES to get through that World Aid song ... about how there won't be snows in Africa this Christmas ... but, yeah, about ten syllables into it, he's fighting back laughter as I blow my nose and wipe my eyes at  the ... well, there are no words to describe how ... SPECIAL ... that lecture I delivered to my children really was.

But, my dears, I did have to share it with you.

What's that saying? Something about being able to laugh at yourself ensures that you'll always be entertained?

I HAZ IT.

IN SPADEZ, I HAZ IT.