"Dooooo Yoooooooooou Speeeeeeeeeeeeek Whaaaaaaaaale?"

Three guesses what we're watching right now ... and I'm only giving credit if you guess right on the first try.

Okay, okay. It's PARTIAL credit if you get it right the second time.

SO, where were we? Yesterday I changed a fouler-than-foul diaper. The usual stuff was going on. Kids wanted crackers, so I put some on the table for them. (Note to self: Wash off table today. You know it's gotta be bad when a two-year-old tells you that it's "too dirty." Feel shame, Llanna. LOTS of shame.)

ANNNNNND, as my dear little girl is running to the table she either smacks into something or trips (Note to self: Why does this always happen when you're not looking RIGHT. AT. HER?? Discuss.) ... I come (read: RUN) to see why she's screaming.

Well, her mouth is full of blood. (Which, as an aside, I accidentally typed "boof." Whatever "boof" is, I wish it had been in her mouth instead.)

I say a word (mostly under my breath) that I should not have said.
(Hey, what's the motto around here? Well, at the moment it appears to be "keepin' it real." I mean we've just discussed my tendency to revert to a bit of a potty-mouth when I'm under stress ... and the fact that I should call in a Hazmat team to tidy up my dining room table.)
(The other motto around here is probably my favorite quote from "Nacho Libre": "They don't think I know a buttload of crap about the gospel, but I do." ... Not that it has much of ANYTHING to do with ... well ... anything.)

I rush her over to the bathroom, sit her on the toilet seat, give her a cold, wet washcloth and assess the damage.

She's got a nice big split on the INSIDE of her lip. Near where her little back teeth are. Well, hey ... this is an improvement from last time when there was a big split THROUGH her lip, near the corner.

I give her some ibuprofen (since (1) it looks painful, (2) she's CRYING, for heaven's sake!; and (3) I'm not about to withhold the drugs. ... Especially because she's my PWESHUS BAYBEE ... and also, hey, children's ibuprofen is in a yummy liquid form ... and since it's going straight IN. HER. MOUTH., it might start numbing the pain SUPERFAST.) ... (And it appears that I'm totally right. Since she stopped crying right after she got her drugs and I picked her up and cuddled her for a sec.

Then I call Michael and cry to him ... and notice that there's a little blood on the OUTSIDE of her mouth ... where the split's gone through. BUT it's just a wee, little spot.

I wipe the blood away, put some antibiotic ointment on it, with a band-aid ... which starts her off crying again (but later? She doesn't want me to take the band-aid off. What's up with this? Discuss).

I do call the doctor's office, just in case. I stress that this time it's not near as bad as last time. I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing.

About an hour later (I guess. I wasn't paying attention to the clock. So sue me!), I get a call back. Yup, I don't have to bring her in (SCORE!!!!) ... and yes, the antibiotic ointment on the outside of the mouth is good. Just try to keep the mouth clean-ish (Which I was planning. I've been pushing the water.) ...

SO, in short, my mommy-instincts are correct. It's only taken a couple years, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.

As it's all starting to change. Like my kiddos? They're getting ready for potty-training. We're working at it ... but ... I mean, I won't miss changing smelly diapers ... but now I'll be at the mercy of these tiny little bladders.

But, yeah ... there was my big excitement for the day. That and the fact that my lady-parts ... not being so kind. So we went to Target to get some medicine to help my lady-parts feel not like they're in Hades. BUT, that's probably too much information.

BACK to pertinent info, Bucket and Bruise got their own buckets. And my Bucket told me she was going to build a castle with hers. She also really, really wanted the Hello Kitty sunglasses that I think are TOTALLY adorable. (If you see them, you'll recognize them.) But how does it happen that my tastes and hers are so close?? It's not like I've shown them to her and said, "THESE, my dear, are the cutest sunglasses EVER. You WILL like them." ... I don't really know how she started liking Hello Kitty that much in the first place. I mean, yeah, I have a few things. A fleece blanket from my in-laws, a Nana (HK dressed in rocker-chic fashion) keychain, a "How to Draw Hello Kitty and Her Friends" book ... And Bucket has a quillow from Mom C with HK dressed as a bunny. ... But she has lots of character-stuff that she's not all that into.

I mean, I like the Disney Princesses ... but Bucket doesn't show ALL that much interest in them. She likes her Princess light-up tennis shoes ... But ... maybe it's because she doesn't have a TON of Princess stuff. Who knows?

Am I at all sad that she loves Hello Kitty?
NO.
Especially when she sees HK and then, excitedly, turns to me and says, "Hello Kitty LOVE ME!"

I'm glad that she knows that she's loved. Even by Hello Kitty.

And, yesterday, while Bruise and Bucket were trying to use the potty chairs, we were talking. I was telling her (because her "owie" hurt) that no matter how bad we're feeling, that Jesus knows EXACTLY how we feel, because He's experienced all of our pain, sorrows, and afflictions. And that He suffered all these things because He loves us.

And Bucket lights up and says, "Jesus loves ME!!! ... I love Jesus!!"

Phew. I must be doing SOMETHING right.

The one person we don't love? Barney. That purple dinosaur is persona non grata in this crazy house.

Yet another thing I feel I've done right. ^_^

Bruise is starting to listen more. When I count (when he's doing something that he should. not. be. doing), he'll snap to attention when I get to "two." He knows that if I get past two, he's got something coming to him (and I'm not talking about Belgium truffles sent overnight, if you know what I mean. And I think you do).
(Like a stern look and a heaping plateful of disappointment. SO not that same thing as delicious, heavenly chocolate.)

So far, though, today has been good. My lady bits are not itching like hellfire(TMI, sorry. I'll try to warn you next time), the kiddos haven't drank poison or pulled bookshelves down upon themselves (not that they've ever done those things. Pulled a changing table down on themselves? Yes.) ... Life is going well.

I need to turn in Michael's and my ballots. And pick up a hold at the local library (not my FAVORITE one ... the one I have to drive to the next town over to go to).

And, yesterday was my sister-in-law (T2)'s birthday. Michael and I called her and ... well, we hadn't talked about what we were going to do. So he looked at me and I looked at him and he goes "Happy ..."
And I join in with the most terrible, off-key, horrendous version of "Happy Birthday," as he joins in .... I didn't know that he WASN'T planning to sing ... he didn't know what I was doing at first.

I think it's best summed up in my quip right before he ended the call:
"Well, THAT's not going to be on American Idol."
(TRUST ME. It was bad. But I think T2 will like it. ... Especially since her proposed ring tone for her mom's cell phone was the most purposefully off-key version of "Angels We Have Heard on High.")

(As opposed to the ring tone I did for Mom C: "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! It's Allanna!! Please pick up the phone!!!!!" <-- a="" about="" all="" amount="" an="" and="" as="" ause="" be="" br="" breath="" extreme="" face="" have="" i="" in="" it.="" it="" made="" my="" nice="" not="" of="" on="" one="" pleasant="" please="" recorded="" rude.="" s="" said="" say="" smile="" sure="" to="" urgency.="" with="">(Or, then, there's the ring tone that Michael recorded for him mom: "Mom, it's me. Your number one son. Answer your phone." It's all very nicely done. And he is the number one son. He's the oldest. Which is yet another reason we get along so well. ^_^)(I'm not lying. It really is a factor.)

Okay, I'm shutting up.

Expect one of those posts sometime this week where I pull out a whole crapload of other cute/funny/interesting/whatever links and videos. Because I was going through my bookmarks and I do have a ton of stuff to share.
And I want my bookmarks to be more manageable again.

Hey, I'm just keeping it real, okay? ^_^ You know I love you all.

And, Annette? I'm so flattered that you think I'm hilarious.
I knew I loved stalking you!! ^_^

And Melissa? You do SO love me. I'm not worthy!
And I adore you right back. Because you send me links like this:
Joss Whedon's Musical Supervillan Ready to Hit the Web!

I mean, how can anyone NOT love this???
(Cynthia, are you as excited about this as Melissa and I are?? Had you already heard about this?)

Some random videos

This first one makes me miss those school and church dances.

These two are too cool fo' school, dawg. I would totally crush on them if I were about a decade younger.



And here are some guys. I know them from high school.
And now I'm about crying from laughing. And missing them rather badly.
Check out this video: DragonMonkey



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The narrator? I've only known him since second grade.
Dragon Monkey? I first met him in junior high. He's just as hilarious (if not more so) when he's not playing a martial arts character.
And the contender? I still crack up about things that he's said.

I also found that another of my high school friends got together with another mutual friend (his old roommate) and they went surfing together. they also have a video on MySpace.

And, dang if I'm not feeling all nostalgic and crap. What would I do differently? What would I have done the same? How much I miss my old group (Hint: Theater freaks rock so dang much. We didn't need to drink at our parties. We were already a little crazy). ... And then there were my church friends who I never get together with enough, either. *sigh*

Well, I need to actually get productive today. There's a lesson to be planned for the Cub Scout Pack meeting (Even if I sometimes forget that I'm cubmaster, that doesn't mean that anyone else is going to let me get away wtih not having crap planned. Right? Right. So onto planning and executing those plans. ... Now I have a mental image of myself guillotining my Pack Meeting Plans. Ha ha ha.), dishes to be done, books to finish, meals to cook (Okay, who'm I kididng? MEAL to be cooked. I barely cook ... unless I get a strong desire to try something new or to make something that I REALLY want to eat) ... oh, and I need a shower. No denying that one.

So, let's get moving. Fun, fun, fun.

Silence ...

My blogging silence is not because I've ritually disemboweled myself due to the stress and shame of the last weekend.

No, I've been a little busy. My mommy's visiting! She goes back home tomorrow, so I've been taking advantage of the time we have together ... even though I did spend a good deal of today at the computer, catching up on blogs, as she completes Sudokus in the rocking chair.

AND!! She bought me moisturizer. Because she loves me.

AND!!! I roasted a chicken. AFTER I brined it. And it was beautiful and tasted really good. And I made mashed potatoes from scratch.

When I asked Michael if he had any suggestions, his response was: "More often??"

Yup, I'm all domesticated. I rule.

The kiddos have new winter hats that fit. (I chose them out at Target while the kidlets and Michael held down the fort. Mom tried not to snicker too loudly as I tried on toddler-sized hats. And then a REALLY cute little girl's Nordic-style hat (with TASSELS!!).

So, now I'm brewing a chicken corpse for broth. It should be good. ^_^

In case you were wondering about that last thing that I was freaking about (the possibility of offending/uncomforting that one awesome girl), I called her Saturday. If she was offended, she was totally cool. She told me that, no, we're fine and that I shouldn't worry at all about it.

(Hello!! I TOLD you she was cool. ... And she knows that I think she's cool. Since I only told her like, oh, THREE times. So maybe she's scared that I'm a total stalker.)

(But I can totally handle that. Because my friends and I love that Garrens Comedy Troupe cover of "Happy Together." The one that reworks the lyrics so it's TOTALLY a stalker's song. And it's excellent.)

And the parade went well. Even though the people were punks and DID NOT JUDGE OUR FLOAT. They told our driver (Since I wasn't there. I was able to hang with the family and take some pictures. Woo-hoo!) that he should have gotten there on time for the judging.

HELLO?!? He was there when registration STARTED. Looks like it's someone else's screw-up. Don't pass the buck onto us. We're Cub Scout-people. We're HONEST and crap.

Oh, and I saw my cool mentor-teacher (not the one that had me stressed enough that I was puking daily and wishing to die. NO. This was the sweet, funny, wonderful one). And I was able to introduce my mom to her. And K (since that's her first initial) told me that once I want to start subbing or anything to let her know. And she was totally thrilled for me to be able to be a SAHM.

See why I LOVE that woman? She's totally sweet and lovely. And she and I GET each other. And did I mention that she's so nice?!? Because she totally is. I could start a fan club.

I should. If it wouldn't be too stalker-esque.

But, yeah. Things are going better. I should get the booth for Lock-In totally planned out. And then totally plan the Blue and Gold Dinner. And then I can take a breath. Before having to TOTALLY plan the Pinewood Derby. And then all the other stuff. *phew*

Yeah. And I'm still going to try and keep my mouth shut more often while visiting teaching.

Just in case.

Yeah.

When I'm not trying to keep my kidlets from getting into trouble. Or stealing my cell phone.