If I had a clever title, it'd go here

I woke up a little earlier than usual. So I'm actually showered already.

But I put on pajamas, so don't be THAT impressed.

Today, during morning devotional with the kids, we got to talking about the whole "don't just love those who love you." (paraphrased from Matthew 5:46-47) ... and I told Bruise and Bucket (and Bubbles, if she was listening) that you can't just be cliquish. And that sometimes, yes, people will act like jerks ... but we have to remember some things:

• S/he is still a child of God.
• Maybe there's something going on in his/her life that we don't know about.
• We can always pray for guidance in helping us understand why [whoever is acting like a poophead] is doing what s/he is doing, so that we can use that inspiration/knowledge to speak to his/her heart ... so that they'll know that we care and are trying/wanting to help.

And Bucket's eyes went wide as she told me, "Mom. That is what I needed to know how to solve a problem with someone at school."

Okay. Phew.

My main goal in doing morning devotional with the kids is that (1) they'll get some scripture-time/pondering-time (nearly) first thing in the morning, (2) they'll have some spiritual armor on to help them through the day, since I can't be there to help guide them constantly (it'd be exhausting and overbearing. I'd rather be reading, truly. :P), and (3) we'll have some time together so that I can have some idea of what's going on in their lives.
There are some other goals, too, of course, but those are the biggies.

And, well, learning that this IS helpful ... it's very validating.

I also had Bruise and Bucket do their Spanish reading in the morning today ... and I had them read scriptures, since we have those in Spanish. And, since today is NOT early release, so they have an hour less to work on homework-stuff and housework after school. (It's only going to get HARDER once Strings lessons and LEGO Robotics start ... *sigh*)

Other things in my life --

I FINALLY got the correct email address for one of the students in my Sunday School class. I misread two letters as numbers ... and his mom was having a devil of a time with it. But she and I persevered ... and I've FINALLY succeeded in emailing him. Phew!

Last night, Michael and I started a bath for Bubbles (Bucket wanted a bath by herself) ... and we both got distracted. When Michael checked on Bubbles, the tub was about an inch from overflowing. Bubbles was happy as a pig in the mud, with the water up to her neck.
(She had been asking to go swimming, so this was pretty much her own private pool. Ha.)

Of course, this was something that needed to be made into a Facebook post, so I grabbed my phone and ordered her to "Cover your parts!" And, well, my Facebook friends seemed to enjoy what we shared of our crazy life

I'm still TRYING to feel prepared for Sunday's lesson.
Right now I'm printing out talks, lessons (for October), and ... well, anything that I think might help me to be more prepared.

We'll see how it goes. I still need to make a questions box, though ... just in case.
Or, until then, my students can just slip me a piece of paper or stick it in my bag or something. I'll find it ... eventually. :P

Michael and I made it to Curriculum Night at the kids' school the other night ... and I left with more questions than answers.
Don't get me wrong. I REALLY like their teachers. But when I asked about what Bruise and Bucket are going to be learning in Social Studies and Science, I was only told that it's integrated into the Math and Language Arts, due to how little instructional time is available vs what all needs to be taught.
Yes, it's an answer, but not exactly what I asked.
(I was looking for something more like, "Well, we're not teaching Social Studies and Science on their own, due to time constraints, but we have integrated units on [countries, cultures, animals, earth science concepts, etc] within the Language Arts and Mathematics that we're teaching." Or something like that.

We also learned, just before we left, that Bruise HAD been falling asleep in class. ... Which was due to his and Bucket's sneaking the tablets into their room. Which lets us know that it was going on for a little while. And that they REALLY can't be trusted with their tablets (which is ANOTHER reason why their tablets have taken a vacation to stay [indefinitely] at my mom's house). *sigh*

So, yeah, I was THAT PARENT and sent a LONG email with the other questions that we didn't have time to address (or fully address) ... along with offers that Michael and I are more than willing to help out in whatever ways we can. If the teachers don't have time to grade homework, it's not like I'm incapable of that (well, maybe slightly incapable in Spanish, since I'm only 46% fluent, according to Duolingo ... and I think they might be giving me too much credit) ...

I just want to know what's going ON.

But we're glad that the kids DID bring home homework packets Tuesday. Math, cursive (since it's not required for Common Core, it's not taught in the classroom), and a Spanish reading assignment with a multiple-choice assessment for comprehension. This is along with a reading log with student-set reading goals for reading in English AND Spanish.

Bruise and Bucket ALSO brought home a sheet about Typing.com with their log-in information so they can practice at home (optional) ... Bruise's didn't work, so I had to make an educated guess at the Technology teacher's school email (I got it right) and she let me know that Bruce's username was already taken -- and gave me the new username, so we were able to log him in. Phew!

I also read over the sheets that the P.E. and Music teachers had prepared.
The one surprising thing was that the P.E. teacher stated that if students come to P.E. without appropriate footwear (athletic shoes), they wouldn't be able to participate AND receive a failing grade for that day. ... I ran that by my mom, a retired teacher, and she said that it didn't sound legal. So, in my email to their kids' teachers, I mentioned that I was concerned about the kids receiving failing grades since my daugher OFTEN wears sandals/boots/non-athletic shoes to school and I hadn't been made aware of which days she has P.E., so I can't help her with that.
(And the P.E. teacher is a first-year teacher, so I don't want to lambast him with anything ... but, instead of stating that parents could just ask their children's teachers about which days they have P.E., it'd be cool if he'd put a small schedule on there with which animal groups have P.E. on which days. ... Yes, kids are sorted by groups with animal names. It makes it easier to keep track of which class they're in, since around 2/3 of the students are in TWO classrooms with the Bilingual program.)

Yes, I know, I know. I'm a hard woman to please.
I'm aware.

I'm also a woman with a headache, so I should go pop some acetaminophen and rub some essential oils on my temples ... and get dressed so that I can take Bubbles to storytime. And clean the house. And fold and put away more laundry. And wash more laundry. And prepare my lesson(s). And read books. And feed my family healthy things. And ...

Well, I've started a second blog ... but it's geared for the Sunday School class that I'm teaching (and their families).

In it, I'm researching and answering questions that they ask in class.
And, since I'm not a scriptorian (at least, not yet), therefore unable to always give the appropriate scripturally-backed answers that these questions deserve, I figured that this would be a good way to address these questions and foster more learning for my students.

That, and if you really want to know what quotes I like from General Conference, you could follow my Twitter feed. Because that's the main reason I have Twitter, to follow the Twitter Stake during Conference. (It's a great way to learn the General Authorities' names, if you miss the words on the screen. And some folks on Twitter are awesome at bringing up sites with these people's background and stuff.^_^ )

Yesterday was ... a day. I was tired. I didn't do much housework. I did get caught up on the dishes. The kids are still grounded. I need to do more laundry.

And I'm just irritated by the whole mess.
Especially when I see UNWORN, CLEAN CLOTHES in the laundry.

So, the kids are now going to be doing their own washing and folding and putting away their clothes. At least until they stop putting clean clothes they just don't want to put away into the laundry.

Which means that I'm going through all the "dirty" clothes and taking out Bubbles's clothes to wash.

I'm just so dang tired of all this dreck.

Especially since every day that I have to talk to them and remind them and FOCUS THEM on the tasks at hand is a day that DOESN'T count toward them getting ungrounded.

They took about two hours to "clean" their room (There was improvement ... EVENTUALLY).
They moved all the chairs from the dining room into the kitchen ... and didn't vacuum (until NOW because I had to yell to get them to do it).

I am already tired of having to take away the remote before they get up so that they aren't tempted to watch shows.

I'm glad that Mom's coming up today. I need something to distract me from all this.

I also need to write letters to my Nana and to Gramma I ... it was in my calendar for yesterday, and I didn't do it.

I did get caught up on reading conference talks and my scriptures ... but I'd feel a heckuva lot more spiritual if I didn't have to harp and nag at Bruise and Bucket to JUST FOR THE LOVE OF PETE GET THINGS DONE WITHOUT HAVING TO BE TOLD IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE CHORE CHARTS HANGING ON THE DOOR THAT YOU COULD LOOK AT OH WAIT YOU DO! THEN GET THINGS DONE SO WE CAN HAVE A HAPPY, PEACEFUL HOUSE AND I MIGHT NOT FEEL TOTALLY DRAINED OF THE WILL TO LIVE.

And Bubbles wanted to wear a swimsuit yesterday. So... she wore a swimsuit.
She's REALLY bummed that the outdoor pool is closed (and has been closed for two weeks. And won't open until at least Memorial Day weekend). Poor kid.

Well, it's time to do devotional and all that. Or else it's time for my head to explode ... Either or.

But I did finish my book and did my Khan Academy (83% complete in Fifth Grade Math), Duolingo, and Rosetta Stone ... so that's ... something. That and with my blogging on the Sunday School blog and all, I should feel like I've been productive. Meh.

The good, the bad, and the frustrating ...

It's been a good and bad last few days ...

I had forgotten to update my digital calendar that we had signed up to feed the missionaries ... Whoops!
But we got the house much cleaner and dinner made and had a nice visit with them.

I got my hair recolored. It's SO much better. I really didn't feel like myself as a blonde-blonde. And I didn't like my roots being so OBVIOUS (#ImSoVainIBetIThinkThisSongIsAboutMe).
I am still rather blonde, but I have some brown lowlights put in there that make my skin tone looks worlds better and it feels a LOT more natural. (It can read more grey, though, in some lights ... but I can handle that). I also got new purple streaks in the middle (aka "peekaboo streaks"), which are really fun.

I finally got around to painting my nails and toenails -- my fingernails are mostly nude, with a few accent nails that have a glitter topcoat on them; my toes are a deep violet.

Did I mention that Bucket's Betta, Blue, passed? Well, he did.
And I cleaned out the fish tank and we now have Falcor, a Dragon Scale Betta (He's got a light-teal body and deep-red fins. Quite pretty. He seems well-behaved like Blue).
He and Iggy (the Pleco) seem to get along well enough.

I am behind on dishes and laundry again. As usual.
I'm almost through my "for fun" book (The Night Circus). I'm enjoying it. But it's due on the 24th and I REALLY don't want more fines (I paid over $15 in library fines last week. FUN! Not.).

We went out on Saturday and bought some used LEGO (the kids each made a minifig and I picked up the two minifigs from retired series that I'd been YEARNING for [The movie star (Series 9) and the Hazmat guy (Series 4)]. Then we went to the LEGO store and the kids got more LEGO, even Bubbles got a Duplo kit. And we dropped by Deseret Book (and ran into Bruise's Cub Scout den leader), and went out for a LATE lunch (the kids' Summer Reading coupons sure came in handy for a free Kid's meal at Applebee's EACH) and headed home.

I taught my first Sunday School lesson with the 12 and 13-year-olds. I had five students. They're pretty fun. It's nice having a class that can TALK with you. We didn't really stay on the month's subject ... but we did talk about the Second Coming and repentance, so it was pretty good.

I also got permission from the Sunday School President in our ward to follow inspiration and start a blog to discuss (and confirm with Scriptural answers/references) what we talk about in class that I don't have ready answers/references to.
(FACT: It's a pet peeve of mine when people pass around doctrine that isn't confirmed. Like the Mormon Myth (which has been denounced from the First Presidency) that people from other dispensations of the gospel will bow to us. OR that Joseph Smith said that "if people could see through the veil to the Telestial Kingdom, they'd be killing themselves to get in." (Attributed, but unverified. Researched AGAIN, here.) ... But, yes, I'm not a fan of the "faith-promoting rumor." I prefer facts that can be verified. But that might be partway because my main Seminary teacher, Joan, demanded "Scriptural Answers," answers that were backed by scriptures.)

Also, the BAD part of the weekend ... Bruise and Bucket got themselves in to TROUBLE.
Bruise has been visibly exhausted lately. Bucket hasn't been much better.
We found out WHY ... they've been sneaking in their tablets (Strike ONE) at night into their room (STRIKE TWO) ... and they KNOW that this is against the house rules.

So, they're grounded. Indefinitely, but at least for two weeks. No tablets (It's a good thing that I have self-control, or I'd have broken them in front of those two jokers. ), no TV/Netflix/Movies, no going out to play, ... and they HAVE to do all their chores (without being reminded) for two weeks. I also want them to be reading their scriptures, writing a letter of apology to their dad and me, copying off the section in For the Strength of Youth about "Honesty and Integrity" into their journals ... along with the Honesty section in True to the Faith and a few scriptures referenced.

This isn't the first time that this has happened. And, obviously, they haven't really learned not to do it. We had a talk at the dining room table this morning, where I did NOT yell (I'm getting better, see?), but I DID tell them that I was so disappointed in them that there aren't words in the human language to express it. And I told them about the consequences (being grounded AND their distancing themselves from Heavenly Father and making it VERY hard for the Holy Ghost to be with them ... making it VERY hard to have a happy family, since their actions show a huge amount of disrespect for their parents, their little sister [whose sleep is also affected AND who tries to emulate their actions], and THEMSELVES. Because when you make bad choices and are dishonest, you are showing a lack of respect for yourself.) ... so, we were all down and unhappy. But I did make sure to let them know that I do love them (which is why I'm so disappointed in them) and to give them hugs before they left for the bus.

But here's how their lives are going to look for the next while:

• Get up, get ready for school. Make sure lunch is packed.
• Morning devotional. Read scriptures. Pray. 
• Chores/Workbook
• Go to school.
• Come home. 
• Chores/workbook/homework/RosettaStone/KhanAcademy/Duolingo/Nap
• More chores
• Dinner/Showers/Family Scriptures/Prayer/Sleep

It's not going to be tons of fun.
And I've told them that as soon as Daddy or I have to point out what's not been done, that their two weeks is restarting ... even if they've managed 13 days straight. These resets are going to be harsh. And part of this is that they are going to show their godly sorrow (sorry for making a bad choice, NOT just for getting caught. Because they should be most sorry for their decision's effect of taking them farther from God and hurting themselves and others) and have a GOOD attitude here at home.
No whining, no complaining/rolling the eyes/stomping ... We are going to have a HAPPY, PEACEFUL HOME WHERE THE SPIRIT CAN DWELL -- OR BUST.

However, I think that the "no-tablets" rule is going to be good. There will be fewer distractions (for Bruise, especially) and they won't get sucked into watching shows so much.

Well, I need to go "pack a lunch" for Bubbles. And I should go clean up ... especially vacuum, since Bubbles got into some glitter that Bucket "accidentally" left out (that Bucket never asked to get into in the first place). And I should finally clean the fridge and sort a million cupboards ... but I really just want to either nap or read or redo yesterday night and  warn those older two within an inch of their lives that Daddy and I are NOT NEARLY as stupid as they seem to think we are.

Ugh.

But, at least, I'm caught up again on Conference Talks and reading my scriptures ... I should read a billion other manuals and prepare for next week's class ...

Even if I DO have to teach every week now, my class is fun. AND I get to go to Relief Society again. I've really missed that.

I'll survive today ... and the next few weeks. I know I can ... because I'm going to be reading my scriptures and stuff and PRAYING LOADS.

Never say I never gave you nuthin'

I'm not promising that I'm going to be an every-day-ish blogger or anything ... but I'm trying to do better than once-a-month blogging.

There's not a whole, whole lot to report, really.

Michael's dealing with a bit of a skeleton crew at the office. R was in the hospital at the beginning of the week (possible heart attack -- he's now at home, recuperating. I've been saying my prayers). T's wife is sick (with two tinies at home to take care of. And her mom works, so either T stays home with her or comes home early). P has something that is taking her out of the office. B will be gone for at least a day ... so things there will be interesting. And very, very quiet. At least, it sounds like everyone in the Surveying department will be there ... but that just leaves, what maybe three other people? It IS a rather small company.

I got caught up in dishes yesterday. The laundry is ALMOST done being put through the washer and dryer ... which means that I have, like, oh ... I've lost count of how many loads I need to fold. Oh well. But it NEEDS to be done. And, I do have lots of clean underoos now, so that's a nice thing. Especially if I want to take Bubbles to Storytime today (I'm sure that everyone at the library would APPRECIATE if I wore clean clothes, right?)

Yesterday was a good, but busy day.

• Got up, showered, dressed.
  Organized the papers for the big kids' Strings registration and scholarship applications. Got a BIG envelope to put them in.
  Put that with my purse.
• Did the usual morning stuff with the kids: Made sure that Bruise and Bucket were ready for school, had a morning devotional with them (we had the short devotional out of a great little book that I bought for that purpose AND went through their Sunday School lesson for next week [The Pentecost]. Got them off to school.
• Bubbles and I hung around. I did Khan Academy and browsed Facebook a little. Called and set up an appointment with Becca to have my hair colored on Friday. 
• Bubbles FINALLY got dressed and we left to do errands ...
  Dropped by the school to turn in the Strings packet for the kids.
  Went to Wal-Mart to buy cereal (We also picked up plastic containers for the cereals, apples, some pants for Bubbles, salads for lunch (Bubbles's insistence), and a Cherry Dr. Pepper.
  After Wal-Mart, we stopped by Old Navy and got more (clearance) leggings and a (clearance) pair of flip-flops for Bubbles. She also got an orange bouncy ball out of the giant gumball machine thing.
  Went to Ross, since I've been wanting a new purse for weeks. I found a suitable one. It's BIG (so I can also put a book/church stuff/multiple tablets/the kids' junk that they give me to carry/whatever in it). It has a shoulder strap! And it's in neutral enough colors to go with nearly anything.
  AND, while there, I also picked up a little zipper case for my sunglasses, so they won't be all linty/scratched up in my bag; another little zipper pouch for my random supplies in my purse, AND(!!!!) a new wallet. I LOVED how my old wallet was set up. But it's getting OLD. Like YEARS OLD. But I found one, same maker, SAME LAYOUT/DESIGN, different colors ... and I snatched that puppy up.
  Then I let Bubbles play at the little indoor playground place, per her request, which allowed me to trade out purses and clean my old purse out.
  Then, we went to Target for dresses for Bubbles. We got her one dress, some pants, two shirts, a little stuffed O the Owl (from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood), season eight of The Big Bang Theory, some of the Star Wars stuff on clearance (an R2D2 USB/miniUSB cable for me, since it's handy and so cheap as well as a Darth Vader power stick for Michael - half price!)
  I also picked up two bulbs for Bucket's lava lamp (which has been bulb-less for months).
• Bubbles was ready to go home by that point, so home again, home again, jiggety-jig.
  We ate our salads and read some books and she laid on the couch to take a nap (sorta) while I perused the Google for haircolor inspiration.
• Bruise and Bucket got home and we went to the park, since it was early-release.
  Then we went back home and worked on cleaning the house and getting dinner ready.
  Michael came home, we ate, and then he took Bucket to Activity Days (church fun activity for the 8-11 year old girls. The boys have Cub Scouts, so this is what the girls do) and stopped by Target to get more of the Series 14 minifigs (Now we have all but the werewolf (#1) and the skeleton (#11) ... who are now decorating Michael's haunted house.
• Then everyone went to bed. Michael and I watched movie trailers on his phone and read a few more chapters in our current book (The Kill - L.J. Smith) and went to bed.
  After he fell asleep ... and I couldn't sleep, I got caught up  in my scripture-reading schedule and perused facebook some more.

Today, will be a day of folding laundry, doing Duolingo, Rosetta Stone, Khan Academy, working with Bubbles on literacy and counting, cooking, cleaning the fridge (maybe), taking out the catbox, preparing for my Sunday School lesson, and reading a couple conference talks (one from April's conference and whichever one from October 2014 that I want ... I should have done that last night. Whoops).

And now that the kids are all up, I should make sure that the big kids are ready for school (and brush their hair and teeth) and do morning devotional with them. And do more (and fold some) laundry. And get that dang catbox cleaned.

But I really do want to finish reading Scorch Trial  and The Night Circus and the Carol Burnett articles in the TV Guide that I picked up (so I can give it to Mom. She and I have a longstanding adoration of Carol Burnett. I remember watching "The Phantom of the Opery" and other shorts on TV when I was younger than Bruise and Bucket. Good times. Someday, I'll invest in the DVDs of the Carol Burnett Show. And I will watch the crap outta them).

But yeah ... that's about it for now. So ... yeah. *shrugs*

Yo-yo-yiggity-yo

Yeah, I know it's bad when my MOM says to me, out of the blue, "So, just how long has it been since you blogged?"

A long time.
A DANG long time.

So, let's see what's gone on, in a nutshell, since then.

CUE THE MONTAGE!

• My mom had another birthday. She's 29 again, which makes it awkward ... since I'm older than her. I know, I know ... She CLAIMS that she's 39 again now, but that only gives me four years and a few months until I catch up again.
  (Joking, joking ... she admits to her age. And not just because she gets a discount at the bread store. I just like to give her some ribbing about her being younger than me.)
  (And you have to realize that this is coming from ME ... the girl who still claims that her Nana is 57. Since Nana was 57 for YEARS. When she turned 80, I even sent her flowers that said "Happy 57th Birthday, Nana!" which REALLY confused her for a bit. And not just because she has dementia. Once I explained that I really DID know that she's NOT 57, she did think it was funny.)
• Bucket is worried about her Betta fish, Blue. His fins are getting really beat up. And he's not as active. But we've had him for a few years, so We're just going to make his end-of-life days as pleasant as possible. ... So I should probably clean out the fish tank.
• I was caught up in doing the dishes for a little while. Not anymore. And I have laundry up the wahzoo happening here (I have underthings in the wash so that I'll HAVE underthings tomorrow. Yeah, that's probably TMI ... but I WAS concentrating on getting the KIDS' stuff cleaned first. Oh well.)
• I was released from my calling as Nursery Leader in our ward (church congregation in Mormon-speak). I did FINALLY get that bulletin board (Apparently, they had installed a bulletin board MONTHS ago ... in some other room in the building. Ha! But ours was installed  on the 6th. And I busted my buns to get the bulletin board planned and put together before I was released ... which was officially done last week.)
• My new calling at church is Sunday School teacher for the 12- and 13-year-olds. There IS a manual, but it's online and there's just GUIDELINES as far as topics go. I feel quite ill-prepared ... but we'll see how it goes. (Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husbands, 'cause Allanna's in charge of teaching the youths!)
• I got together everything for Bruise and Bucket's registration for the local Strings classes. Bruise will be in the Beginners' level class again. Bucket has moved up to Intermediate. And I have their registration filled out, their scholarship applications done, the check written out ... so we're ready to turn this in before the due date!
• I started doing Khan Academy more. I've mastered K-4 math and am 74% through 5th grade math. (I had originally thought to start with Algebra. HA HA HA. No. My skills are waaaaay too rusty. But y'all should be proud of me for persevering. Math was not my forte ... because I feel quite intimidated by it. But I'm working my way through it.
• I'm also back into doing my DuoLingo ... but only German and Spanish. With my 15-day streak (so far), I got caught back up with all my skills and have even surpassed where I had been. It tells me that I'm 42% fluent in Spanish and 31% fluent in German. So that's nice.
• I FINALLY got our Rosetta Stone program installed on the computer. The main problem that I had was when I tried to install from online, the language packs were ALL incomplete. So I had to have their Customer Service help me (She deleted the incomplete packs and let me reinstall them anew from the discs I have). Phew!
• The kids FINALLY cleaned their room. FINALLY.
• Bubbles is starting "Mutti Preschool" -- My mom is now working with Bubbles to make sure that she's learning the skills she'll need for Kindergarten. Yesterday, they made a poster with a picture. They concentrated on words with the letter "o." Mom was actually impressed by how much Bubbles has already learned (huzzah!) ... though, little Homeskillet there really likes to make poop-jokes. So there you have it.
• I'm determined to change my hair again. People like the light blonde ... but, well, it really just doesn't FEEL like me. And the upkeep is a little crazy, since I don't like having visible roots that much. But it was a good experience.
• We went to the local Renaissance Faire last weekend. Bruise came home with a new wooden sword and shield. Bucket adopted a new "pet" dragon (I've taken to referring to her as "The Babysitter of Dragons."), and I got some perfume oils. Bubbles didn't make any requests, but she did wear her cloak from last year nearly the entire time.
• After the Faire, the kids went home with Mom C (who watched them) while Michael and I bought LEGO Minifigs (I totally have the banshee now. And she's awesome!) then went out to dinner with our friends Mark and Lacey (who are finally moving a lot closer than they've been!). It was lots of fun to get together with them.
• My van died on Thursday morning. Bubbles and I had driven (not far) to go shopping (Bruise needed a new watch -- and I got one on clearance for only a couple more dollars than just getting a watchband cost ... and I had bought and returned TWO watchbands by that point ... and I needed flour after having made 5 batches of playdough for the Nursery cupboard [If you really care, here's the rundown: Pink/Vanilla-scented, Orange/Wild Orange-scented, Blue/Peppermint-scented, Green/Lime-scented, and Purple/Lavender-Vanilla-scented]) ... so it was good that it was within walking distance and that I did have a stroller in the back. I locked up the van and left it in the parking lot and waited for Michael to get home from work to jump it so we could get it home. ...
  Friday, we took it to Les Schwab (after jumping it AGAIN) to see if it was the battery (which was under warranty) ... AND IT WAS. So, $3.55 later, I have a BRAND NEW battery in my van WHICH RUNS. I had such a crazy amount of relief running through me that it's a wonder I didn't faint. I know that it's totally a first world problem and all ... but I'm glad that it was fixed before I have to run the kids to Strings lessons (and, eventually maybe, LEGO Robotics in Bruise's case) AND that it was such a cheap fix. SERIOUSLY, it was awesome and I'm really thankful, since we'd been PRAYING a lot.
• Bad news - one of my aunts has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
  Good news - Her MRI showed that it's just that one bit and it should be taken out and treated and stuff soon. Another answer to prayers. Phew.
• Bubbles is a bit low in her iron-count, so I need to be working to get her to eat more iron-rich foods. But she's 28 pounds now (at 3 1/2 years), so that's good.
• Bruise had a few Cub Scout meetings. Last week was the bicycle rodeo. ... Bruise and Bucket have outgrown their bikes. Looks like Santa knows what to get them, huh?
• Michael got another promotion ... "But it doesn't come with a pay raise," he told me. And that was ... okay. I mean, it's great that they can charge more for his work and it's more responsibility ... then we learned that, no, it does have a raise. Which is nice. 
• We went to a friends' house for dinner Monday night. Another family in the ward who we like and have worked along with the parents in different callings. We had a BBQ and talked a lot and it was fun. The kids (theirs and ours) were jumping on the trampoline. Their 14-year-old son and I talked a bunch.
  (He's a joker, which is fun. I went to shake his hand and he finagled it so that I grabbed his forearm instead. Which made me laugh like when Robert Gere shuts the necklace box on Julia Roberts' hand in Pretty Woman. You can watch that on YouTube, that clip, if you don't know the reference.)
• Did I mention that Michael's spoiled me with LEGO?
  He bought me the Mystery Machine and the Big Bang Theory set. They're sitting on my printer right now. ^_^
• I was feeling so chipper friday, after the van's battery was replaced, that Bubbles and I baked Orange and Raspberry Sherbet cookies (it was out of a boxed mix). She had lots of fun. And I did, too, with my cute sous chef.
• Other, further back catch-ups: We met with my friend, Brooke, for lunch; we went to Pioneer Days in my hometown with my stepdad's nephew and his wife (both LOVELY people. Jeff, my step-cousin, REALLY wanted to buy "the princess" [Bubbles] cotton candy ... which he did. And, golly, that cotton candy was GINORMOUS. Jeff would have bought more than one, and I'm so glad that he didn't! It was big enough for our family to share ... I have a picture of Bubbles "helping" to hold it and ... well, it looks nearly as big as SHE is!); we went swimming at the local outdoor pool a bunch; Bruise and Bucket finished up their swimming lessons with Bob at the indoor pool ... We went to the Art and Air Festival (no henna tattoo this time). The kids and I went with Cousin Kathleen and her son to the Air and Space Museum in McMinnville. We got to visit Nana and that side of the family. We now have Nana's other couch. I had a PTC meeting (I have this month's coming up TOMORROW evening) where we met the new principal. We went to the kids' Open House at school and met their teachers. The kids have started school (Fourth graders. I have TWO fourth graders!). I got Visit Taught, which hadn't happened in a LONG time. We had a playdate over at Robyn's -- Bruise and Bucket played with her kids (Bubbles did for a bit then played on my phone) and Robyn and I got caught up and worked at setting up a shelf for homeschooling ... which is bittersweet, since Bruise and her son are besties and have always been in the same classes ... until now *sigh* ... It just means that I need to be more proactive about setting up playdates, right?
  Michael and Bubbles and Bucket also went to the Stake Daddy-Daughter camp-out last month. They had a great time.
  And Bruise had fun staying up late and getting to eat ice cream OUT OF THE CONTAINER, which was pretty awesome. ^_^
• We're working our way through The Chronicles of Narnia (saying that always makes me think of that SNL music video, "Lazy Sunday"). We're now into Prince Caspian, which means that (since we started with The Magician's Nephew) we're nearly halfway through the series.
• Michael and I are reading through the rest of L.J. Smith's Forbidden Game series. We just started the third and final book last night ... so, in a few more days, I can actually TALK to him about it. (TBH, he's still waiting for me to read through a few books [*cough**cough*The Scorch Trials, The Death Curse, The Kill Order, Hollow City, Jackaby, The Westing Game, etc *cough**cough*] so we can talk about THOSE.)
  He's also reading Code Name Verity and Ready Player One (we started that one together, so he's nearly halfway through it).
  I still need to also read The Night Circus before it's due back at the library. And I have, like, a metric ton of other books in my TBR pile. #BibliophleProbs
• I've been working to be better at reading my scriptures and praying and all ... so I have a prayer journal going. It seems to help me focus a little more as I'm writing my prayers down. I still say prayers, too. In case you were worried.
  I'm getting close to finishing Numbers in the Old Testament. Doctrine and Covenants were harder to get through, since it's not at all in chronological order. But, if I keep with this reading schedule, I'll be through the Standard Works by next fall.
  And I'm also more than halfway through the 40-day General Conference reading challenge. I try to stay a day ahead ... so when I got THREE DAYS behind, you know that I fell off the wagon there for a bit. BUT I'm caught up ... just need to get a day ahead again.
  

And so, you see that between taking care of kids, taking care of the house, trying to stay abreast of studying scriptures and foreign languages (well, just two for now), and getting sucked into Facebook and the internet, I didn't MEAN to neglect you. It just happened.

Now, I should do some math, German, Spanish, and then go shopping and drop off the kids' Strings registration and application for scholarships, then get Bubbles fed and down for a nap and read my scriptures and conference talks and pray and write in that journal and .... maybe take a nap, too.

"A Funny, But Sad, Story"

I was talking to my (great-) Aunt Judy this morning.

As we chatted, she was telling me about my Nana's dementia (since I haven't been down to visit Nana for a while. I write her letters, since her hearing's not very good anymore ... and so that Aunt I (who takes care of Nana) can read them and know what's going on, too).

And here's this story, which happened in the not-too-distant past ...

Nana: [Pop-pop/Nana's husband]'s come back.

Judy: (not knowing if this is the dementia or not) Oh?

Nana: Yes, he's sitting right there on the porch. He's come back to collect his social security.

Judy: Well, okay.

Nana: (matter-of-factly) He's going to get in trouble for fraud, since he's been dead for thirteen years.


I have to admit that this exchange has me tickled. It's just such a Nana thing to say, that last line.

Like once, in a conversation with her a few years back, she was telling me about some distant cousins who adopted a little girl from China.

Nana: So, they're both ladies ... well, which one's the husband and which one's the wife?

Me: Um, I think that you just refer to them as 'partners.'

Nana: Oh, that makes sense. ... I don't know why they call homosexuals 'gay.' They don't seem very happy.

(That's where I had to work really hard at not bursting into peals of laughter.)

I love my Nana. She's darling.

And, hey, even if she's waking up at 1 AM to make Pop-pop some coffee and lunch, if she's woken you up, hey! you can have a midnight-ish snack, right?
(Which is better than, say, having someone with dementia swear that they've been stabbed or that people are creeping around the house ... and then shooting a hole in the door. ... So I've heard.)

But, yeah.

Some cute things

After my last post got kind of heavy, I figured that we needed some levity.

(Cue Auntie Mame belting "We Need a Little Christmas" ... but not exactly.)

So, yesterday, while Michael was on his commute home, there was traffic. Like adding 20 minutes to his 45-minute commute.

As I hung up with him, Bubbles was asking where Daddy was.

Me: He's stuck in traffic, sweetie. There's a lot of cars that aren't moving much right now.

Bubbles: *gasps* Dat's not KIND!

Me: And there were two fire trucks and an ambulance. People probably got hurt.

Bubbles: Oh no! Dat's bad! Not kind!


So... she's got the idea that bad = not kind.
Which isn't a bad way to think about it.
Since I figure that if I teach my kids to respect others and be kind and to love them, well, the world will be a better place for it.

Also, Bubbles went everywhere in her Princess Sofia dress, dress-up shoes, and crown yesterday.
It was pretty adorable ... something that only a toddler can really pull off (because those shoes are SMALL).

As she practiced dancing in the front room, she'd conclude her dance number.

Bubbles: Okay. Say "yaaaaaay" and clap hands!

Me: "Yaaaaaay!!" *claps*

Bubbles: Good job! Good job, Mommy! You did it!


Everyone's mentioning that she's talking a lot more and much better.
She's a funny little munchkin.

Your "What's-Gone-On-In-the-Last-Two-Weeks-If-You-Really-Care" Update

So, yeah, it's been two weeks since I last blogged.
(Way to go, me ... sounds like I'm starting with a confession. I'm not Catholic, but I do have some friends who are ... and it's not like I haven't seen movies where a character is in Confession ... I digress. Like I always do.)

Okay, since June 9th ...

Well, I WANTED this to be a fun, chatty post, since I got back in touch with my high-school Theater teacher (also taught Writing for College, which was a great class, too). (No, I'm NOT trying to suck up, okay? I really did enjoy those classes AND having him as a teacher/friend. Geez, you guys.) ... where was I? Oh yes ... AND I would have really preferred, since I told him that I have a blog and he said that he'd be glad to read it, to have something witty and funny and well-drafted ... but, well, it is what it is (didn't Vonnegut say that? I find myself saying it a lot. And I think it's a quote ... Whatever. I've just gotten up and I can't brain yet).

Sorry, Mr. A. I really did want to be clever and awesome. But, well, at least you know that I didn't hire a ghostwriter or anything, right?

SO ... the kids are out of school for the summer. Bruise and Bucket had their well-child check-up. They're current on their shots (Bucket had pumped herself up to be prepared for a vaccination, though I was pretty sure she didn't need one, so she was bummed NOT to get a shot. ... Yup, that's my girl).
That's how we started Summer Vacation -- go to the doctor's, then take the kids' to Grandma's house (while Mom and Dad go to a meeting [read that: get to a meeting rather late because the guy in charge of getting information only told us the [City] Stake Center, not an address. So we went to the church building in [City], then had to call our sister-in-law to figure out where we (and another ten cars) SHOULD be ... which meant that we were BARELY on time. Which meant that Michael had to listen to me grouse about how I HATE being late. Poor guy. At least we got to eat at the Pita Pit for dinner, so it wasn't terrible. And the meeting was good [about missionary work]).

Backtracking -- the kids had a fun time at their class trip to OMSI. I was feeling guilty about not going with (but then I'd have to run Bubbles up to Mom C's, run the kids and myself BACK into town, drive up to OMSI -- most likely carpooling, so then I'd have to drop off everyone BACK at the school and run BACK UP to Mom C's, AND THEN go back home) ... however, since I found myself being VERY GOOD FRIENDS with Mr. Toilet that day, I didn't feel so guilty.
(I would have said that I didn't feel so bad, but that would have been a lie. Since I was NOT feeling good by any means. Not for a while.)

I've agreed to be PTC (Parent-Teacher Club) Secretary for the 2015-2016 school year.
Sounds like the meetings will be moved to Tuesday evenings, which mostly work better for me. Michael can pick up the kids (and take Bucket to her Activity Days twice a month) ... I'd better prepare a metric crapton of slow cooker meals.
It also sounds like there'll be a morning meeting once a month. I'm sure they'll get used to me in pajamas, schlepping my brood in. (I jest, I jest. But I WILL be rocking a ponytail with my I-threw-this-on-right-before-running-to-the-car ensemble.)

Before the kids went down to stay a week with grandfolks (they stayed with my dad and L Monday; then, until Friday, they were with my mom and stepdad), we did the kick-off for the city summer activity/scavenger hunt/passport program/thing. It's actually really fun. You get a little passport and go around (mostly downtown) and collect stamps from participating businesses. At some places, you need to do something to earn your stamp. At others, you get to make something (like at the paint-you-own pottery, you paint a little trinket [which you'll come back later to pick up, after it's been put into the kiln and cooled. Or, at a coffee shop/deli, (at least last year) kids made their own, free, Italian soda. Or you had to shoot so many baskets on the court at the YMCA. Stuff like that]). Some are out a little ways -- in one, you go to a historic mill, which makes a nice day trip. it's fun to go on the tour and into the little interpretive center -- grind some flour by hand. Maybe feed the chickens and turkeys ...

But, yeah, Bruise, Bucket, and Bubbles had fun spending the week with grandfolks. They all came back happy, tired, and sunburned (I know they did put on sunscreen. They were JUST in the sun that much).

While they were gone, I had high hopes of laying in bed and reading all day (like I could do pre-kids). Instead I did small bursts of cleaning ... and got my hair colored.
Tuesday, I went through the kids' outgrown clothing and got that sorted. Then I went to the salon for my appointment. I'm now even blonder (working towards platinum, since that's one of the [few] colors I haven't done) and sporting some fun streaks. We tried to do teal, purple, and pink ... but the pink didn't take at all. So I have fun teal and purple streaks (hadn't done purple streaks before. I've done teal, but only on the bottom-most layer of hair. And that was years ago) happening.
Then Michael and I went to see Jurassic World (which was good despite not starring Dr. Ian Malcom. Though, trivia says (and I missed it), that Jeff Goldblum's picture IS featured on a couple books held by two characters in the film).

Wednesday, I cleaned up the house a bit and organized a freezer (which NEEDED to happen, because I was sick and tired of foisting off an impeding avalanche EVERY time I opened that stinkin' freezer), since we were feeding the missionaries. One of the elders is going to be going home soon. Which is a bummer (for us) since he's really fun. But we know that his family misses him, so we'll deal.
After dinner, we went to Home Depot to go pick up supplies for Thursday evening ...

Thursday, I spent around four hours cleaning up the kids' room. Two bags of stuff to donate. Another FULL bag of trash, countless passes with the vacuum on every bit of floor that I could reach, cleaning off the BIG shelves ... and their room was clean. BUT ONLY HALF OF THEIR ROOM.
(We worked on the other half of the floor and the closet on Sunday. Happy Father's Day, Honey!)

Then I went shoe shopping. I ended up with a pair of sneakers (goal), a pair of dress shoes (secondary goal), a pair of nice flip-flops, and a new shirt (bonus!) And some new socks. And a swim cap to protect my dye job (which sort of worked).

Thursday night, we spent building Bubbles's new bed, since she bent the frame of her (used) toddler bed by jumping on it. Whoops. Michael cut the boards, I sanded the boards. We ran to Home Depot again (another board and more sandpaper). We bolted the thing together and screwed down the plywood ... If a bomb should happen, that bed might burn to the ground. But it'll burn to the ground as a thing SOLIDLY BOLTED TOGETHER. Doesn't even shake or shiver when I sit on it.

Friday, I went to work with Michael. I helped Paige (the office manager) by collapsing cardboard boxes (which brought back memories as I used the boxcutter. Even though it's been around 20 years, I still know how to employ boxcutter safety. Thank you Shop Smart and your [kinda boring] safety videos). Then we took out the recycling ... which, being Paige and me, was filled with giggling and nearly dropping bags of precariously-piled bags of magazines and newspapers. She's totally fun to hang with. And I got to meet her son in the survey department (Lest you misunderstand, this is NOT a large company. I think they have about 15-20 employees. But I hadn't met everyone ... usually since, if we come with the kids, I work to take the kids out to the stores in the complex or the park, so that Michael can actually get some work done. That and we never can turn down a trip to Trader Jo's. :P).

After work, we got lunch (even though Cafe Yumm did mess up our order a little. It was still delicious.) and headed down to my hometown. We collected the kids so we could check into the hotel (and give my mom a chance to rest -- between taking care of the kids AND my stepdad [who has dementia], she was exhausted. Poor girl).

We checked in, got settled, waited for my aunt and my cousin's daughter (who Aunt J is taking care of this summer) to come, then we went swimming.
Since I mentioned that my swim cap mostly worked, instead of having nice delineated technicolor streaks, they turned into more ... mermaid hair. Which isn't BAD by any means. Just a little different.

After that, we got dressed and ready and headed back to Mom's for dinner.
After eating and the kids (Cousin + my munchkin brigade) playing, we headed back to the hotel, took a small tour of the casino, and went to bed.

Michael joked that, "Hey, maybe this is the room that Mike Rowe stayed in a few weeks back." But I had to break it to him that, no, THAT hotel is the one across the highway.
(Though, it WOULD have been awesome to be able to make that claim. Heck, I think that THAT hotel should get a little brass historical event plaque for the door: "On ___, 2015, Mike Rowe slept in this room." We could use the added tourism, I'm sure.)

Saturday, we started back fro home, making a stop at Wildlife Safari (If you have a membership at the Oregon Zoo [Ours is almost ready to expire], you can get your admission for 1/2 price. #TheMoreYouKnow) So we made it worth our while. Then we scouted some stores for another LEGO set that's all sold out up here. No dice. And we got some fast food for the drive home.

We got the sad news that Michael did not pass his HUGE engineering test that he took back in April.
He'll be taking it again, next April.
Please send prayers, good thoughts, happy muju, whatever.
Passing this test (next year) will make him a full-fledged Civil Engineer.
Which is what he's been working for.
(I'm just irritated that OSBEELS is dumb in not letting you know your actual score or what you missed or anything. Just a Pass/Fail. Which isn't very helpful. How can you gauge how much you need to improve? Bah.)

Bubbles loves her new bed. The kids are enjoying their clean room (still need to go through three dressers -- hoping to get Bucket's clothes into ONE dresser, so that the other dresser can START housing Bubbles's clothes -- getting THOSE out of OUR room -- AND one set of shelves. THEN they will have a CLEAN-clean room.
And they'll just have to do maintenance on it ... or face the wrath of a frustrated mommy. (A fate worse than death!)

We wished everyone (Michael's dad, my stepdad, my dad, and my Grampy) a happy Father's Day on Sunday. The little craft that the kids in Nursery did for the dads was well-received (the kids did a handprint on a page that said "Daddy, I'm hooked on you." We added a googly eye and orange lips to make the handprints into fish. I made it about as simple and easy as possible. just had to ink up the kids' hands, make the prints, wipe off the hands, let dry, draw on lips with an orange marker, glue on the googly eye, and let dry. Most of them were even done last week. Even better).

Yesterday, we did some chores while Michael was at work. Then we went to a Health Fair, to the library, and back home. The big kids worked on Duolingo (Spanish) and khanacademy (math) and read a bit. And played outside with a neighbor.
Then we went to their swim lesson, where they had fun with Bob.

Today (and the rest of this week) will be more of the same -- housework, not forgetting everything they learned last year, playing ... and doing some of the town passport program.

As I type all this out, I realize that I have a vaguely boring life. But ... well, I like it.

Because, unfortunately, there are much worse alternatives.
Like what happened in my hometown Saturday night.

I don't know how much it's been on the news, but there was a shooting.
In my small hometown.
Which left my cousin's best friend's husband dead.
By his nephew (who was one of my classmates since Kindergarten).

Both the victim, JP, and BF, who shot him are family members of a couple that are in my home Ward (church congregation, if you're not LDS) family.
J is the son of this couple. B is their grandson.

And we're just left reeling. Because ... how could this have happened?
My cousin's BFF went from having a perfect, happy family to being a widow in seconds. And she witnessed the whole thing. I can't imagine how she's feeling.
And poor N (the mom/grandma) ... because she and her husband are some of the nicest, kindest people around ... nobody deserves for this to happen, least of all them.

I keep hoping that this is just some crap nightmare. But it's not.

And I can't wrap my head around this.
BF was a nice guy.
When we were in Kindergarten together, after school, we'd walk the block north from the school, then part ways (he towards his grandma's house about a block away to the west, me further north to my house).
"See you in a million years!" he'd call as he crossed the street.
"No, see you tomorrow," literal-minded little me would call back.

And, in middle school, when he was in the popular group and I was not ... One time, in P.E., he came up to me after another less-than-pleasant bout of existence with some of the in-crowd kids.
"You know," he told me, "you could be popular."
"What?" I replied. As quick on the uptake as ever. Typical Allanna.
"You could be popular, too. If you drop [friend's name] as a friend."
(I mean, I didn't make that choice. But I knew that BF didn't have to tell me that. And that he did because he saw what was going on. And I was sure that he remembered how we were friends in elementary school ... and that ... well, it's not the type of thing someone without empathy and caring would do.)

Even on Facebook, now, people are all commenting that they can't believe that BF would ever do something like that. He was So-and-so's friend. He was always a good guy. ...

... what happened?

And I keep wondering if there was something that I could have done.
I mean, after middle school, we weren't close or anything. We were in the same school and we'd say "hi" to each other when we saw each other. But we didn't move in the same circles, really.
But I always thought of him as a friend.

I mean, I was DOWN in our hometown that day.
If I knew then what I do now, I'd have worked to track him down and talked to him.

But, I mean, what could I have said ... "Hey, later tonight, don't shoot your uncle. AT ALL. Not even once, let alone a bunch. M'kay? That'd be great. So, how's it been going for the last decade or so? You doing okay?"

Not very realistic, I know. But ... could I have been a better friend to him? Was he even on Facebook? I could have sent him a friend request ... let him know that I always remember him fondly, since we were friends a long time ago. That I appreciated that he offered me that chance at being in the in-crowd when nobody else really seemed to care (except jumping at the chance to make my friend's life pretty awful).

Michael tells me there's really nothing that I could have done differently.
Which is true. Unless I had a time-machine or something ...

Which then makes me wonder WHY this happened? HOW could this happen?
This is the kind of thing you read about.
It's not something that you can prepare yourself for in advance (well, not and remain mentally healthy).

And I find myself, squatting to find refried beans or tomato sauce in the pantry cupboard and wondering, "What am I doing with my life??? Why am I even here ... what's the significance of my existence right now? I should be doing something ... and ..."
And then I have to get on with my life because I have three kids who need to be fed and a husband to assist and a cat to snuggle (so she won't get all anxious and pee in the laundry pile or over-groom herself. Seriously, I cannot believe that out of all of us, it's the CAT that has a prescription for Prozac. Obviously, this is the perfect cat for me. Obviously.)

However, I think that it's time to escape into a book sometime today.
I have a pile of library books that need to be read ... but I'm feeling the need to jump into a tested-and-true old friend. Something familiar. Something safe. Something that will be good to read while Bubbles is napping.

I mean, I have faith that there's an overall plan. And that we all are going to learn and grow from this ... horrible ... happenstance.

But, still, I really wish it hadn't happened at all.

When I am benevolent dictator of the world, all conflicts will be dealt with hugging-it-out. Or maybe pie-eating contests. Or staring contests whilst eating dark chocolate (unless one is allergic. To chocolate. I've not yet heard of anyone being allergic to staring ... but what do I know?).

Okay, it's been ages and ages since I last blogged.

And I don't even really know where I SHOULD start. So we'll go for the middle and flesh things out from there.

I looked at my last post ... the van was fine. When Michael got home, he turned the ignition and it started right up. Yeah, it must just like him better. Or I left a light on and then it was able to charge itself up enough or something ... But regardless, I got to take it out to the next town and have a by-myself-Ulta-shopping trip and come home. And we made it to pick up the kids from Strings practice and all. So that's that.

Since then ... it's been over a month ... Sorry.

Um ... okay, time for bullet points:

• Still in Nursery. I'm now the head honcho of the Nursery leaders (taking over for one whose life is ... a bit complicated right now. She's been trying NOT to get a divorce, but, well, ... yeah. I feel terrible for her. Especially since, on Facebook, her spouse is making it sound like she's being really unreasonable. And, as a child from a broken home, I GET that sometimes you do all the work that you possibly can, but if the other half of the marriage isn't willing to also meet you halfway, ... you get really burnt out.)
• Found ONE louse on Bubbles's head yesterday morning. Treated her (yay for Licefreee!, it's seriously THE BEST) and washed her bedding and all. Haven't seen anything else on the other kids. And, since my mom was up, she checked MY head ... we're all clear. Bubbles must have picked that one up from another Nursery friend OR from the carpeted floor (a gift from the previous ward's Nursery class, maybe?). Regardless, I'm glad that it was JUST the one and that it's over. ... If I never see another louse in my life, it'll be too soon.
• The kids are almost out of school. They had their big end-of-the-year awards assembly.
  Bucket was recognized for participating in the GOTR 5K (with Michael as her running buddy) and running the most laps in the PM group, participating in Strings, writing in English, reading in English, music, and good behavior and attendance. Bruise was recognized for participating in Strings, good behavior and attendance, and most laps run in Track Club.
• As mentioned above, Michael and Bucket participated in the GOTR 5K a couple weeks ago. They walked it, for the most part. But they had fun. Bucket's ready and excited for the next time she gets to do it. And I'm thinking that Bruise and I might also register for the 5K so we can do it as a family (with Bubbles in a jogging stroller).
• One of Bruise and Bucket's teachers this year was baptized into our church. We were able to attend her baptism ... since Mrs. K is ALSO the stepmother of one of our friends (Brooke and I have been friends since late 1999. And I only JUST put it together a couple months ago that they're family. Mrs. K and I are thrilled at the extra connection ... well, I think she's thrilled. I know that I sure am).
• We had a brush with Poison Oak. Good times. (NOT.) Last month, as we cleaned up one side of the yard, we pulled out a vine. And Michael started itching. He thought it was just hives from Oak or something. ... Then, the day of the kids' Strings Concert, Mom and I noticed a rash on Bruise's FACE. So I took him in. The physician's assistant knew right away from my arm and Bruise's face that it wasn't hives ... So Bruise went on Prednisone. And it cleared right up. Michael's hands and arms cleared up pretty well ... but my body freaked out. I had it on my forearms (I was wearing gloves but only a short-sleeved shirt), a bit on one ankle, and on one breast (from scratching, I guess). And then my left arm started to swell and was hot to the touch ... so I went in and saw my lovely, lovely doctor. And then I went on Prednisone, too. And WOW, it worked really well. I don't know if it was just the immensity of my relief at not ITCHING CONSTANTLY or what, but I was pretty loopy (like, VICODIN-loopy) for the next 24 hours or so. Good times.
• Bruise and Bucket are done with Strings for the school year. Bruise seemed to get a little burned out at not being absolutely awesome at it (but, if he chose to practice the cello, that'd go a long way). Bucket seems to have natural talent with the violin ... which is why she'd been asked to perform in a couple extra assemblies this year.
• Bruise did really enjoy participating in the 3rd-grade lunchtime LEGO Robotics club. He's already put in his application to join the official 4th/5th grade teams.
• You could probably already tell that both those two enjoyed running, whether in Track Club or Girls On The Run.
• Bubbles is talking more and more. She likes to laugh and dance. She feels that any day is vastly improved by wearing a tutu. And her tantrums and pouting are quite epic. ("Though she be little, she be FIERCE," as stated by Shakespeare.) But, for the most part, she's quite sunny and personable ... and, if she's wearing panties, she's staying dry quite well.
• Michael and I will be building her a new bed, since she's broken/bent-beyond-repair her (used) metal bedframe for her toddler bed by JUMPING on her bed.
• We've replaced our curtains in the front room with new curtains with NEW rods. The old curtains were patterned like the bark of birch trees. One was sporting a cut (thanks to a toddler Bucket). And the old rods were ... old and falling apart. We now have oil-rubbed bronze double rods (for the light-reducing curtains and the sheers -- now the kids can't bend/break the tension rods that the sheers used to hang from). It looks MUCH better. And we feel SO OLD/ADULT having actual window treatments and all.
  Michael also built me a bookshelf in the front room. We took down the kids' folding tables (that were just piled up with their STUFF) in the front room ... We have a LOT more open space now. It feels a lot less cluttered ... and we moved one bookshelf into the dining room, where it's filled with school-type things (workbooks, etc.). And I cleaned up the big bookshelf in the bedroom ... it's not at all organized, but you can SEE books now, so that's a good thing. And I'm surviving without it being alphabetized like it's always been. But that's a project for when we build in a bookshelf there instead, I think. 
• I still miss my friend, Kim M ... I know that it's been a while since she passed. But I keep finding myself missing her. A few days ago, I watched "The Decoy Bride," which we had watched when we made cinnamon rolls together ... not that she overly enjoyed it. Poor Kim. But I found myself missing her so much later that evening.
• One of my friends was in the state for a short visit. But she was busy enough that she didn't call or text me. And I hadn't called or texted her because I didn't want to interrupt any of her plans and visits with her other friends. I mean, I miss her, yes. But I get that she has a PACKED schedule and that it's not all about me. I don't want to be a needy friend. But I am bummed that I didn't get to see or talk to her at all. But, well, that's part of being an adult and all, right?
• Michael had his birthday. We got him the Blu-rays of the Jurassic Park trilogy. And a Jurassic Park shirt to go with it. We also ate cheesecake. And went out for a birthday lunch to eat Mexican food. It was a good day.
• Sunday, after church and some cleaning, I was just exhausted. So I ended up laying down for a nap. And I woke up nearly three hours later. Whoops.
• I've been working to keep up with Duolingo. I'm learning Irish, French, Spanish, and German. I find German easiest, since that's what I studied in high school and college. I've gotten much better with Spanish. I'm still not very good at French, but I'm getting better ... especially at reading it. And I'm rather pants at Irish. Its grammar structure and even word structure are so very DIFFERENT from any of the other languages that I'm learning. But I'm enjoying it all for the most part.
  Oh, hey, since I actually logged on to it on my computer (instead of my tablet, as usual), I can tell you that I'm 30% fluent in German, 47% fluent in Spanish (how did that happen?), 24% fluent in French, and ... not fluent enough to even GET a percentage point for Irish (not surprised, ha ha).
• I've also got Bruise and Bucket started on working on KhanAcademy.org ... I figure that earning new avatars AND competing with each other is a good way to get them to keep learning this summer. Maybe it'll even help them prepare for their school testing ... we'll see. and they can even work on learning to program (which will help Bruise with the LEGO Robotics club. IF he's accepted, that is).

Okay, I think that's most things. Hopefully.
I'm tired and out of the ability to craft words together well ... or so spellcheck is telling me. Ugh. Whatever.
Time to go do dishes or something useful. Maybe nap ... napping sounds good.

That's wack. And not wiggety-wack, just the regular kind.

Today started out fine ...

Got up, showered, dressed.
Had devotional with the kids, dropped Bruise off to track club.
Bucket got on the bus. I finished getting ready ...

Then, when Bubbles and I got into the car to go into town/shopping ... I go to plug in my iPod ... and then the car won't start. When I press on the brake, the dashboard clock fades away to nothing.

I don't know my neighbors well enough to feel like I can just go ask them for a jump.
mi...
Okay, I was going to say that Michael isn't picking up his phone (so I also emailed AND shot him a text), but he just called back.
And he'll come home at his lunch break, figure out stuff and we'll figure out what all needs to be done.
If nothing else, he'll stay home long enough to pick up the kids from strings (which means he'll just be staying home for the rest of the day) ... and we can either walk to pick Bucket up from her after-school running tomorrow. We'll see.

I'm hoping it's just that either I shorted out something that's easily fixable OR that Bucket just didn't close the stupid door quite well enough (it has a crappy sensor anyways) and the battery was just run down a bit.

Okay. I'm going to figure out dinner and read a book and go soak my head or something.

EDIT: And watch a bazillion episodes of Teen Girl Squad. And read my scriptures for the day. And probably do my Duolingo. Distractions galore!

Crazy Dream Chronicles - Part 1,493 (or thereabouts)

This morning was a two-fer!

I woke up this morning (and was back in bed JUST in time for the 4:30 alarm to go off) after this first dream ...

I went to pick Bruise and Bucket up from school (no idea where Bubbles was in this dream), but instead of picking them up at their real-life school, I was at the school that my mom taught at for ages (where it would be about a fifteen-minute drive home to my childhood home, as opposed to a five-minute drive to our house ... BUT, as in dreams, we still had our current house).

And, Bruise and Bucket had, for some reason, taken the bus (which normally wouldn't go to my childhood home, not on the bus route from THAT school ... but, again, DREAMS). And I didn't realize it, so I was out of the car and inside the school, since one of the office ladies (from their IRL school) needed a ride home, and I was asked to do that.

So, I'm hanging in the office of my mom's old school (-ish), writing notes to two male teachers that don't exist at EITHER school, when I realize that it's 4:19 PM. This office lady STILL isn't ready AND my kids took the bus nearly an HOUR ago and they're probably sitting around outside, freaking out.

Then I recall that, no, we have that cool button-lock so they can get inside (which is true), so they're probably fine and CPS won't be waiting for me.

And I race to the car, just in case, and there's my phone so that I can call the house and check in on them.
I try to use speed dial and end up calling Oliver Sacks' voicemail, somehow. And I feel bad for hanging up right away, rationalizing that I'll redial THAT number later to wish him the best of luck with his brain cancer (which he DOES have IRL, but I don't have any direct contact info as much as I adore his writing).

Then, I can't get past this LONG, rambling voicemail from my stepdad where he's telling me (as I'm turning the corner by the I-Mart, down highway 99) about how he and Mom are sorry that I'm sick and they'll come bring me medicine/cough syrup tomorrow.

FINALLY, as I'm turning onto the ramp for I-5, I get through to the house number and Bruise answers and his voice is FULL of tears because he DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS and, there's a three-way call with my mom, censuring me for being irresponsible ...

Oh ... actually there was ANOTHER dream stuck in there ... so THREE dreams total ...
Michael, I, and some other people were spying or something. And we had to go to this resort/club/thing. We'd leave the room after the dance performances (because then the dancers would do stripping ... and we're not into that). I don't remember who we were working for or what the goal of this reconnaissance mission was ... but, I ended up (to throw off suspicion), kissing a male dancer and going out to his car to talk. Yeah, I had to full-on kiss another guy in front of my husband. Awkward and not at all fun, really. (If I had been an unmarried woman, it would have been fine.)
I don't remember much more about that dream. Besides trying to apologize non-verbally to Michael while sucking another man's face, and trying to sell THAT to the dancer. (I haz conflictz az spy ... which is yet ANOTHER reason why I don't work in espionage. Can't lie. Don't have any desire for infidelity. Yeah, I'd be the worst spy ever. It's not like one can be, "Oh, I'd totally be throwing myself at you, sans clothing, but I JUST got out of a [mythological] relationship and you'd be my rebound." Because, really, I doubt that some Russian drug lord or whatever would be all, "Oh, you're so sensitive and vulnerable. I respect that. Here, let me tell you all my secrets." ... I mean, that'd be awesome if it worked. I could be the best spy ever (besides being unable to lie convincingly)!)

OKAY, so THIRD (and FINAL) dream!

In this one, I must have been back in high school or something (SOMETHING, thinking on it. Because I was worried that we couldn't find the appropriate technology, that's right) ... and we had a project in theater to do karaoke.
(Truly, it wouldn't have been too terribly off from some of our real-life projects. Just a simpler version of those, really.)

BUT, I was helping my Roxy-sis to have a song and music. And, for some reason, I had a karaoke cassette that had some tracks on it. And she was going to sing Coolio's "Gangster Paradise."
Yeah. Not really her type of song, especially while we were in high school.

So, I was making sure that I had the cassette ready for her, all rewound ... and it got caught a little in the player, so I had to CAREFULLY remove the tape from the player and grab a pencil to wind it all back in JUST SO ...

And I worried that we might not have a cassette player at the school for her to use ...

And then I was trying to go through whatever instrumental CDs we had so that I could choose some song to sing ... and trying not to freak out because I couldn't use the cassette, since I didn't know any of the other (rap) songs on there and I didn't have any other karaoke tapes ...
(Which, IRL, I had ONE karaoke tape. We didn't have a karaoke machine or anything, but I had ONE karaoke tape ... of some of the songs from Les Miserables. Yeah, I was THAT KID in middle school. Is it any wonder that I was NOT in the cool-kid bunch? ... Yup, I really don't miss the social scene in middle school. I miss a handful of people (mostly teachers, really. Again, THAT KID).)

But, yup. That's about what all went on in my dreams -- being a crap, disorganized mother; being an apologetic spy who won't watch strippers; and making sure that my friend is taken care of ... so that I can run about like a muppet when it's time for me to cover my bases.

I'm sure this all means something ... and not just (as in that spy dream) that I should get a feminine-cut suit ... though I did cut a nice figure in it.

My brain is a strange place.

It's make-up-your-own-title day! (No, not REALLY)

I know, I know, it's been a few days. But not SO terribly many as it COULD have been ...

Let's see.
Michael's done with his CRAZYHUGEEXPENSIVELONG test. In a couple months, we should learn if he's passed it. (Just FYI, this test only has a 42% pass rate. Yowch, right?)

Bubbles is in the middle of potty-training. She's doing pretty well ... Mistakes are still happening, but nothing horrendous.

Last week, one of my "baby" cousins turned 22. And she's THISCLOSE to graduating college.
I also got to have a lunch date with one of my friends that I hadn't seen (in person) for what feels like ages and ages. We had a great time. I've missed her bunches.

We cleaned the church (we had traded our assignment last week to this week).
I have to say that cleaning WITH kids takes a LOT longer ... but Bruise and Bucket are learning (bit by bit) how to clean the church bathrooms decently.
Yes, we opt for cleaning the bathrooms and the drinking fountains instead of the kitchen and vacuuming classrooms.
(Now, July-December, we'll have the other jobs to choose from -- washing the windows, vacuuming/sweeping the chapel, cultural hall, hallways ... and some other things. But, as for me and my house, we prefer the bathrooms.)

SO ... Michael can actually clean the bathrooms, kitchen, vacuum the classrooms assigned, AND clean the drinking fountains (that's the BEST one, really) in around an hour by himself, so he says ...
It took me, coaching Bruise and Bucket, on the wiping down the sinks and toilets (Michael was in charge of refilling toilet paper and paper towel dispensers and, for the most part, mopping), it took us almost EXACTLY one hour.

On Sunday, when we were walking into church, we ran into Brother D--. He made such a point of thanking us for COMING and CLEANING at the church (it's a nearly random assignment given to at least two families each week. Our family might be assigned to help clean maybe four times a year?) ... but it was pretty apparent that folks aren't showing up or doing their work.

I could rather tell that, since in the Nursery, we have PILES of sawdust where ants burrowed through earlier this month. (I should just take Michael's key and give that room a DECENT vacuuming sometime during the week) And, when I was scrubbing the toilets, they were hosting quite a pink ring of mineral-sediment in each and every one of them.
(When you have someone in the other ward remark on how good the toilets look ... I mean it's flattering, but it's also rather irritating. This is the Lord's HOUSE ... it SHOULD be taken care of.)

So ... yeah. And Michael got home from a meeting last night feeling frustrated.

Pretty much all of it really boils down to the fact that a good majority of folk in the ward (and don't get me wrong, I love my church. I love my ward. But we're none of us perfect. Apparently, here's an area in which a LOT of us can aspire to show HUUUUUUUUGE improvements. Just sayin'.) are not taking their responsibilities/duties seriously.

I mean, yes, sometimes there are times when a teacher just WON'T SHOW UP for church, leaving either the Sunday School presidency or the Primary Presidency skedaddling to find someone to take his/her place OR squeezing two classes together.
It's understandable when it's an emergency ... but just NOT showing up for a calling that you agreed to do (and it's not like there's NO ONE who could pitch in and sub. Heck, I just typed up the list of Primary substitutes into a pdf for my Nursery co-leaders.), it's not responsible.
(And I say this as a woman who LOVES to sleep in.)

I see Michael busting his butt to TRY and be a good steward (as called for, being an Elders Quorum president) to all the families assigned to his care (Not all the families come under the stewardship of EQ. Some are assigned to the High Priests' group in the ward). And ... well, he can't do it. Even when I'm at my most supportive, there simply aren't enough hours in the day/week/month/year/century for him to administer to each family on his own.

And, well, he tells me that there are three brethren in Elders Quorum who are consistently doing their Home Teaching.

Yes, you heard me.
THREE.
A SINGLE DIGIT ... yeah.

I've offered that, if I'm asked to speak in church in the near future, to issue a call to repentance.
(I can do that, since I do strive to do my Visiting Teaching. I feel intense guilt if I haven't reached out to my Visiting Teachees each month. Because, dang it, they DESERVE to know that Heavenly Father loves them, Jesus loves them, and they have at LEAST two sisters in the ward who know and love them and are willing to help out. Besides, Home/Visiting Teaching also is a great act of service to the High Priest Group Leader/EQ President/ Relief Society President, since THEY need to be able to know how we can best serve those in our ward's boundaries ... and, if they don't have the time/ability to visit each and every family/sister, how can they have ANY chance of knowing about those needs?

It just irks me.
And maybe it's got something to do with the fact that we haven't been home taught since before my friend Kim died (her husband, who's since moved out of the ward, was one of our home teachers. Our other home teacher is ... in legal trouble/having a crisis of faith. So, yeah, it's been a few months since we've had a visit. I GET that people are busy. But, when you're putting other priorities before serving the Lord, I have a bit of a problem with that.

Right now, I don't really know who my Visiting Teachers are.
And I get that whoever I've been assigned to are probably just really busy ladies ... but, at the same time, it's sad that they feel that I don't even rate a call/text/email/Facebook message/whatever.
I mean, sure, I'm doing okay. For the most part.
But, well, what if I weren't? Who would I call?
(Okay, I'd call my mom. But, when my mom passes, I'm going to be UP. A. CREEK.)
And I do have some friends in the ward, too. Like our RS president ... she'd make sure that I was taken care of.

But what of the families/sisters who DON'T have a friendship established with the RS President or someone, anyone else? That's RIGHT THERE what Visiting Teaching is all about (and Home Teaching, too). It's helping the good shepherd by going after and checking on all His wandering (and not-so-wandering) lambs.

And, from my experience of Visiting Teaching, I KNOW that it's not always easy. There will be sisters who don't WANT visits (or even ANY contact from the church). When that happens, you just write letters or send texts (if they're cool with that) and let them know that you're there for them, that you care, that they're not alone or forgotten.

One gal (who I met by being assigned as her Visiting Teacher) was rather flabberghasted when I visited, Michael in tow as my VT companion, since I couldn't get hold of my assigned companion. We had a lovely visit, which started a friendship. ... She was flabberghasted because, when she asked if we had any fun plans for the coming weekend/spring break (in a couple days), I told her that Michael and I were getting married the next day. (It was true. And it was a HUGE reason why I wanted to be SURE to visit her before we went on our honeymoon. Because VT is a priority to me. Not just because of numbers ... but because I'd feel AWFUL if any sister assigned to me felt lonely, forgotten, or neglected. That's NOT how Heavenly Father would want her to feel.)

So, yeah, I can't really wrap my head around why so many folks in the ward aren't reaching out to those they've been assigned stewardship over. Even if you're only able to make contact once every couple months, it's SOMETHING.
If I had more time, I'd be about ready to just print out cards saying "If you need anything, please give your Home Teachers ________ & ________ a call at, respectively ___-___-____ or ___-___-____. Or contact your Visiting Teachers ________ & ________  at ___-___-____ or ___-___-____. They'd love an opportunity to get to know, love, and serve you! ... And if they don't, give me a call at ___-___-____ or email me at ____@_____.___ and I'll set them straight at what a wonderful opportunity they're selfishly neglecting. Because you're awesome! And they should know that!"

But that might be a little, oh, passive-aggressive and overly forward, I suppose.

But, yeah. It's irritating that things like this happen.
(Since, in regards to the cleaning the Stake Center, Brother D-- is no spring chicken. Nor is he in the best of help. He shouldn't have to pick up the slack for all the people who aren't pitching in their share. *SIGH*)

But, well, it's sucky. Because I love these people ... but I also, at the same time, want to give them a GIANT kick in the bedonk-a-donk to get them into gear.

Yeah, I shouldn't talk about this aloud. Or else you're going to hear me bellow that "If we'd just GET IN GEAR and DO STUFF, we'd get blessings, y'all! And I FREAKING NEED blessings! If we'd just DO our CRAP, we'd receive more! THIS is the reason why we DON'T HAVE the SEALED SECTION of the GOLDEN PLATES! I'M TRYING to get my CRAP DONE! I'VE STARTED READING MY SCRIPTURES DAILY! NOW YOU GUYS NEED TO STEP IT UP!!!!!"

And, well, that's not the most Christlike way to address people.
Regardless of whether or not it might be true.

But, yeah ... that's about where it stands.

So ... besides that, I am toning my hair with my awesome purple shampoo. I left it in for, like, 25 minutes the other day. And Michael was impressed at how much blonder/more-platinum my hair looked. So I'm leaving it in longer today. Worst case scenario -- my hair will be a little on the lavender side. Oh, boo. (Honestly? I'd be kinda thrilled.) And I FINALLY got around to giving myself a manicure. Most of my nails (fingers and toes) are a deep nude. But my big toes and my ring fingers are sporting nail strips. Mint green with a cream/dusty rose floral print. The nude ties in with the shadows on the pinkest parts. If you care. Which you might not.

Oh, I've been talking to Bruise and Bucket about puberty.
The other day (Friday morning, before school), I was telling them about their (soon-to-develop) secondary sex characteristics [e.g., body hair, Adam's apple, breasts ...] but I also mentioned menarche and (Bruise was HORRIFIED at this) nocturnal emissions.

But, hey, at least they're aware of what fresh hell their bodies have in store for them.
I did tell them that they really didn't need to discuss this with their school chums or anything ... since it's really something that families should discuss. BUT, with all the fun-fun-fun of upcoming Sex-Ed classes, I figure that I should cover my bases as to human development and gospel doctrines and morality and expectations NOW, while they still listen to me, right?

So, that's most of our week in a nutshell.

And, from discussing with the kids this morning (about accepting God's will, even when we DO have righteous desires ... we have to learn that He does know more and will give us all what's best for us to learn. And I mentioned how we prayed [and fasted] that Kim would get better and come home to her family and us ... and that it ... ... didn't happen.
Bucket crawled into my lap and gave me a big hug. Which was nice, even though she's solid for her size (that girl, I swear, is all bones and muscle. Good for her, right?).

But, yeah. It's not fun when I drive by the road that Kim's family's old apartment is on. Or I watch some clip from Jimmy Kimmel and think that I should share that with her ... and I .... can't. But I'll deal.

I just, you know, I thought I'd be older. A LOT older. ... when I started losing friends this way.

I know it makes me sound all petulant and childish, but I don't LIKE it. Not at all.

Well, I'm going to go load the dishwasher or something. And wash this application of purple shampoo out of my hair.

THEN maybe I'll enlist Bruise and Bubbles to help me build a blanket fort where we'll eat ice cream until it's time to go pick up Bucket.
Though I'll probably be DONE with effort after I load the dishwasher and do some laundry. Or something. They house will wait another day for cleaning, I guess.

In which I am ... something

So, I'm in a little funk.
Which might be a bit of an understatement, really.
But, regardless, ...

So, I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but my Nana (my dad's mom) has dementia.
I used to be able to say that "She's been diagnosed with dementia." But now, really, it's not just a diagnosis. It's not something that I can just wave away ... as much as I wish that I could.

She's not able to live alone anymore. She lives with one of my uncles and his wife (She really didn't ever have to worry about where to live. If she had rather lived with my dad and his girlfriend, they [or, what really counts, my "stepmom"] were more than willing to have her come live with them, too).

Part of this is just sad ... and life ...

Of course, I'm a rather sentimental idiot person. And it hits me a bit harder at times.

My kids have no memory at all of Nana and Pop-pop's house by the creek and one of the parks in my hometown. Because they've never been there. Ever.
(By the time Bruise and Bucket were even conceived, Nana had sold that [lonely, to her, after Pop-pop's death] place and had moved into her own place in the main city. Bubbles will barely ever even remember THAT house.)

Whereas, so MANY of my childhood memories (especially Christmas Eve memories) revolve around that house.
I mean, it could be worse. Nana promised my cousin, S, that she'd get the house ... and, well, that's obviously not going to be a reality. But I think that S is able to deal with that ... at least, a lot better than I would.

I can be honest that, as much as I LOVE Christmas, since Grandma Darlene passed, it's been different. THEN, after Pop-pop passed (and Nana sold that house), it was even more different. I still love it ... but ... it's just not the same. And I miss that sameness, that consistency of opening presents on the burnt-orange carpeting with a fire in the fireplace, with my dad's-side cousins FINALLY getting there. And racing to the bathroom with Cousin S to try on our new clothes ... and the old green corded telephone ... and ... all these little things.

And it reduces me to tears, missing these times that I took for granted far too much.
I wish that I had thought to take (and develop) pictures of each room, of the outside of the house, of Pop-pop's garden ... and I am so disappointed that I never did.

Though, in my mom's shop/garage, I do have the original kitchen door to Nana's old kitchen (before the remodel). Someday (and Michael is aware of this), I will have a house around it again.
I love that door. It's one of those Dutch-style ones ... where you can open just the top half.
Everyone thought that I was silly/crazy for asking for that door ... but, well, I do love it. ... If it would fit in our house here, I'd have installed it ages ago. ... But it takes me back, just thinking of that door. Nana would open it and check the laundry running on the (enclosed) porch. Or go put the bowls of custard out to cool, sprinkling nutmeg on the tops ...

So, even though my family was quite amused/bemused by my request/demand, I have no regrets at all about it.

But there are things that I wish that I could have done differently or could just have the chance to do again because I miss those times ...

• When my parents separated, I wish that I had visited Nana and Pop-pop more. Especially when my dad wasn't in town. I avoided him when he visited for a bit, telling him that I had plans or was busy (when it wasn't really true. But, when you're eleven/twelve, how else do you really punish someone who's made it apparent that the effort to be a family with you and your mom isn't worth it? ... So, yeah. But I should have visited Nana and Pop-pop more when he wasn't at their place).
• I miss going out shopping with Nana. Even just browsing at The Emporium or The Bon Marche or Sears or J.C. Penney ... and most of those stores are getting to the point where they no longer even exist. 
• I miss being able to talk to Nana and knowing that she'd recall that we even had a conversation the next day/week/month.
• I miss being able to talk to Nana on the phone and that she'd be able to hear me/recognize my voice. Now, even though my kids and I are the only folks who call her "Nana," she can't hear me well enough. But she does love to get a phone call. So I call my Aunt I, talk to HER and give her any pertinent information, and then chat at Nana ... who can't really hear me at all. So now I work hard to send her cards and letters ... so that she can KNOW who's sending her things and what all IS happening.
• I miss going to the movies or musicals with Nana.
• I miss going over to play at Nana and Pop-pop's. Riding the tractor/riding lawnmower and helping Pop-pop "drive" (then actually mowing Mrs. Weatherbee's property for Pop-pop) [True story: When I was little, I wanted to get a riding lawnmower so that I could ride it to school. This was before I saw "Can't Buy Me Love." I just really loved driving the riding lawnmower. Way cooler than a bike.], having dinner (always at 6:00pm) with Nana and Pop-pop. Sitting down at their kitchen table on a summer afternoon when Nana would put out a bowl of strawberries, fresh from the garden, sprinkled with sugar, and then pour some cream on top and hand me a spoon.
• I miss Nana being such a lady so often (dressing up to go out shopping. Getting a wet set every Saturday. Touching up her lipstick) and yet using phrases like, "I've got to use THE POT!" when she needed to answer the call of nature. 

I wore my pair of silver patent-leather Sketchers to bits, really, because my Nana loved me enough to buy them for me. Mostly because, when I unwrapped them (either for my birthday or Christmas), she told me how she'd gone up to Eugene to buy them ... and, since she and I wore the same size shoes, everyone watched as "this old lady tried on all the crazy sneakers."

So, even though they got old and scuffed-up and dirty, I wore them and smile whenever I looked at my feet. Even when one of the girls I considered a friend mocked them. (My answer to her less-than-favorable opinion of my shoes? "My Nana gave them to me.")

Because those shoes were total physical proof of how much my Nana loves me.

Yesterday, while out with Mom, I bought an earring display ... thing. But now I can display both my dangling AND post earrings (I wear a lot of stud-type earrings) ... and I spent around an hour or so putting my earrings on it. At first, I worried that I'd lost one of a favorite pair from Nana ... but, thankfully, I found it in a baggie that I'd had to sweep a lot of the-disaster-that-is-my-make-up-counter into.

Maybe one reason that I'm taking this hard is that, as I've realized, dementia is horrible in the fact that it makes you mourn the person who has it BEFORE they've died. And I don't like that.

Another reason could be that, even though I was sealed to my parents when I was little, my dad left the church totally. Had his records removed and all. And my mom's sealed to my stepdad now. I don't know exactly how things will end up working out. I mean, I have faith that they WILL ... but I'm not so concrete as to the HOW of things ... but, when I sing, as in the Primary song, that "Families can be together forever" and "I always want to be with my own family," I've never considered NOT being sealed to my Nana and Pop-pop. But with my dad having removed himself from the situation ... well, things will work out. I know, I KNOW, that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. And I can't see a way that I would be happy without maintaining those family links. So I KNOW that something will work out. And that's a definite reason to keep on working on my family history and making sure that all the other temple work gets done ... so that, when the time comes that there IS an answer, I'll be ready. And I can be sealed to Nana and Pop-pop and their families.

So ... yeah. I'm ... yeah.

I'm just living by faith in this. Having the answers NOW (or years ago) would be nice. But, well, it's an opportunity to live by faith, right?

BOMTC - Still Making Progress!

So far, I haven't missed a day. But it's not been an easy thing.

Like Michael says, I really need to SCHEDULE a time to do my reading.
And I've noticed that I do a LOT better when I do my reading aloud.
AND I need to follow President Eyring's counsel to pray BEFORE I read.

But, well, at least there's some progress ... in that I've stayed on schedule. Even if it means grabbing my tablet before I fall asleep in order to DO what I've put off earlier.

So, yeah. It's going. And I'm feeling good about it.

Now, my mom's here, so I'm going to write more later.

Goal: BOMTC - Day 2

Okay, I didn't get my reading done until after I put Bubbles to bed.
(Michael took Bruise and Bucket to Cub Scouts/Activity Days ... so the house is quiet ... and I spent Vesper's naptime taking a bath and reading a library book [Happy early birthday present to me! However, the house really could use cleaning ... so we all know what I'll be doing tomorrow, right?])

I read 1 Nephi, chapters 4-6.

I don't know that anything totally stood out to me ... but I do like that Nephi felt prompted to include the story/vignette of how their mother, Sariah, fared while her sons returned to Jerusalem to retrieve the Brass Plates.

She, the wife of a prophet, had issues with her testimony. She feared that her sons perished and that she and Lehi would die in the wilderness.

Lehi worked, lovingly, to assuage her fears. He didn't tell her that she was wrong ... but he worked to listen and assure her.

And, when their sons (with the addition of Zoram) returned, she and Lehi rejoiced together.

I don't know why I like/appreciate this inclusion ... but I do.

Maybe because it demonstrates a good/healthy husband and wife dynamic (e.g., helping each other through trials, easing fears, responding mildly to rebukes if/when they occur ...) or maybe because it does help to demonstrate that these are real people, not just some characters in some wild epic.

Because, truly, Joseph Smith could NOT have managed to WRITE this on his own.
There is no possible way. He did not have the schooling, the ability to research, the knowledge or wisdom, or even the TIME to create this himself.

There's too much detail that he wouldn't have known ... that the world is only realizing IS factual and verified NOW. He couldn't have known many of these things at all.

And that's not even considering that, as Emma, his wife who loved him dearly, stated that he could barely manage to dictate a coherent letter ... so writing an EPIC is something far beyond his mortal abilities. It could ONLY be done through the power of God.

... But, hey, I've made it though two days (82 left, if I've counted correctly)!
Now to keep on it.

I did almost feel like breezing through some more chapters ... but, this is a schedule. I'm going to stick to it. Wish me luck!

Goal: Scripture Study

Okay, confession: I still haven't really been able to successfully develop a daily scripture study/reading habit. And I'm almost 34.

However, it's times like these when it's really nice/cool that I have Facebook friends who are inspired to share things.
One friend shared that she's doing "The Book of Mormon Translation Challenge."
In short, read The Book of Mormon during the time frame that it took Joseph Smith to translate it (84 days).

I'm not worried about being able to finish it in the time frame ... I AM worried that I will sluff off and give up. So I'm telling y'all about it so you can keep me accountable.

AND, as Brother Simon (who runs the blog site for it) points out, one great thing about this challenge is that, by the end, one should have gotten a good start at having developed a habit of reading the scriptures daily.

Which, as I've pointed out, I need help doing.

So, instead of rubbing my nose in how many times I've attempted to make a habit and failed  ... or how many years I've lived without cultivating that habit in the first place, I'm going to focus on STARTING and developing this habit.

I'm happy to report that today, I did my first steps. I read the introduction to The Book of Mormon (which was yesterday's pre-challenge-starting assignment) and I read chapters 1-3 of 1 Nephi. It feels good to make that (small, but definite) progress.

What stood out to me today was at the end of 1 Nephi 2, verses 23-24:

23 For behold, in that day that [the descendants of Laman and Lemuel] shall rebel against me, I will curse them even with a sore curse, and they shall have no power over thy seed except they shall rebel against me also.
 24 And if it so be that they rebel against me, they shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in the ways of remembrance.

          (Emphasis mine)

As I read that, it did strike me (as Michael had already observed) that those who chose to make a vocal spectacle during the sustaining of our church leaders could be considered to be doing just that -- stirring us to remember WHY we sustain these leaders, giving us an opportunity to reflect on our testimonies of our prophets and other leaders, deciding who we will choose to follow ...

And ... well, it just stood out to me. And it made me think.

If you read the post for today over at The Book of Mormon Challenge, Brother Simon came away with a different overall impression. It doesn't mean that he or I am more correct or wrong than each other. It just means that, at this time, these are the (different) things that we needed to learn/realize for ourselves.

And I love that about the scriptures ... as we learn more, we are more able to see more in these holy writings. We will receive answers to our own questions. And, even when we read a passage/verse/chapter/book that we've read before, we can gain new insights and inspiration as we study.

That's one thing that I miss while I'm serving in Nursery on Sundays; the opportunity to attend Sunday School and Relief Society, where our lessons are discussed by lots of people with very different life situations, experiences, viewpoints. Sometimes, I would be able to learn, from my brothers and sisters in the gospel, to look at a story/lesson/quote/experience from a completely new point of view.
(One of our Sunday School teachers, who was a single mother through very lean times, shared that as she counseled with her Bishop, she learned that "It's easier to live by money than live by faith," while stressing that living by faith does have many more rewards.)

But, I'm optimistic that this challenge that I just happened to stumble upon thanks to a Facebook friend might JUST be the ticket to starting a successful scripture-study habit for me.